


Consortium

by allonsysilvertongue



Series: Consortium [1]
Category: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: F/M, Politics, Post Mockingjay, Pregnancy, baby fics, marriage law
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-02
Updated: 2015-09-29
Packaged: 2018-02-15 21:28:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 74
Words: 215,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2244090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allonsysilvertongue/pseuds/allonsysilvertongue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A few years after the war, during a time of peace, Panem found itself with a problem that required drastic action. A marriage law was passed that mandated Haymitch and Effie to get married. Inspired from a scene in Game of Thrones.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I had this idea while watching Game of Thrones (3x8) – Second Sons. Tyrion Lannister's wedding scene to be exact. When I look at Tyrion drunk I imagined Haymitch and thought to myself, 'what if this was a hayffie situation?'. So there are some lines from Tyrion in there. I take no credit for that.
> 
> And for anyone who reads Harry Potter fanfiction, one of the headcanon is marriage law which I have adopted in this fic. All in all, I don't know what I've just done except that I had an idea and needed to write it out.

 

One

His eyes scanned the hall in distaste. A movement to his right caught his attention, prompting the groom to crook his finger at the wandering waiter, signalling for his empty glass of wine to be refilled. He downed it in a single large gulp before extending the glass out for more. The lithe young man, already uncomfortable in his waiter uniform, took the opportunity knowing that it would be wiser not to wander off too far, to stay put. The waiter took his position by the groom's side, standing dutifully behind the chair with a bottle of wine at the ready.

Next to the groom, the bride chewed her lower lip, worried eyes darting ever so frequently to the glass in his hand. She held her tongue. She was wise enough not to comment on his behaviour just yet. It was too early in the ceremony to incur his wrath, not when they have a few more hours to sit through.

Plutarch Heavensbee, a long-time friend and confidant to the groom, chose that moment to come over. The groom watched him disinterestedly as Plutarch climbed up the steps of the raised platform where the newly wed sat overlooking the gigantic hall, his large frame huffing and puffing for breath.

Plutarch smiled broadly at them.

"Congratulations," he extended his hand at the groom and then subsequently, the bride. "Haymitch Abernathy, married, finally. Who would have thought?"

"Not by choice," he mumbled under his breath.

Ignoring that unwarranted remark even if it held a smidgen of truth in it, Plutarch went on, "go easy on the wine, Haymitch."

It came as no great surprise that his words fell on deaf ears. With a sigh, Plutarch turned towards the bride, "keep an eye out for him, will you, Effie? Don't let him get too drunk at his own wedding."

"I've been doing the same job for years now, Plutarch," Effie answered, clearly unimpressed by Haymitch who by now, had taken quite an interest on a bunch of grapes.

Haymitch plucked one and started to roll it down the length of the table like it was a marble, back and forth, over and over again. He heard what Plutarch had said, of course, and at the back of his mind, he knew he should really slow down on the wine but they had already forced him into this marriage so he will do as he pleased at his wedding.

"Sweetheart," he turned towards Effie, pulling on his tie to loosen it slightly before undoing the top button. "When will this ceremony end?"

"Not anytime soon."

_That wasn't helpful at all._

Craning his neck at the waiter standing silently behind him, Haymitch held out his glass once more and watched as the red liquid sloshed within as it was poured out.

"I can't believe I'm fucking married to you," Haymitch blurted out suddenly, tactless as ever. That was the first time he had addressed their marriage since they stood at the altar that morning.

"Hmm," she hummed noncommittally. He acted as though she had been given a choice when the choice was as much missing for her as it was for him. Although, a few seconds later, Effie realised that wasn't completely true. She could have chosen someone else.

"You're a nightmare."

At that, Effie huffed indignantly. Haymitch had told her that countless of times over the years but they were merely colleagues where it didn't matter as much then but she is his wife now.

"I can imagine a thousand other alternatives in which my life could completely fall apart, Haymitch, but do you see me complaining and being downright insulting?," she shot back.

Haymitch was quiet. For the umpteenth time, his eyes scanned the room, taking everything in.

"Did you plan this wedding? Picked out the caterer? Chose the decor?" Haymitch hiccupped, waving his hand carelessly around.

"No."

"That's surprising," he mocked. "Thought you would have jumped at the chance to plan your wedding or … was it because of me? I'm not your ideal husband, hmm?"

If Haymitch's purpose was to provoke a reaction from Effie, he was left disappointed. Effie stared unblinkingly straight ahead. Her eyes were fixed on Katniss and Peeta doing a slow waltz on the dance floor. When they finished dancing, she let her eyes roamed from couple to couple, noting that everyone on the dance floor seemed far happier than she was and it was  _her_ wedding.

Earlier on, the bride and the groom had opened up the floor with a dance but that was it. It was one dance. Once the music ended, Haymitch had refused to partake in any further dancing and had slunk back to his seat where he proceeded to get drunk.

"You gonna be frigid with me all day long?" Haymitch slurred. "You know what comes after this wedding feast?"

Of course she does and Haymitch knew it too. It was impossible not to know especially since the entire purpose of the law was to repopulate Panem.

Still, Haymitch went on, as if Effie was completely oblivious to what was in store for her on her wedding night. Haymitch leaned forward in his seat, his lips right next to hear ear, "bedding ceremony," he enunciated, smacking his lips loudly.

Haymitch laughed mockingly as if he had told the world's greatest joke when he saw Effie's nostrils flared and lips thinned in response.

"To be honest, I don't even think that's what it's called," she told him dryly.

Haymitch belched rudely, forcing Effie to look around her in alarm in case anyone noticed his behaviour. Leaning back in his seat, Haymitch patted his stomach and answered her, "no, really, that's the term. Plutarch uses it, just following his example. We gotta consummate the marriage. Have … sex, you know? Or the marriage won't be valid."

"Yes, Haymitch, I know," she sighed.

He could be very crude.

"I don't want to. Not with you," he sounded petulant, like a child. Haymitch pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes, sighing quietly.

It must be truly horrifying to have to sleep with her, she thought.

Effie had seen Haymitch half sober on occasion and knew that in that state, he was capable of picking out subtle body language and non-verbal messages needed to read someone and understood nuances. It was a skill that had been carefully honed during all those years he attempted to get sponsors before eventually giving up. It was however, a skill he seldom employed on Effie. She was the exception. He had put up a wall between them and as a result, Haymitch completely failed to register the way Effie's shoulder dropped slightly or how her fingers had curled itself around the stem of her wine glass in an effort to prevent herself from saying something she might regret. If he had bothered to look, he would have seen the hurt reflecting in her eyes.

Effie didn't know how long she could sit next to him, pretending that everything was splendid. She was saved by the bell when Annie came by with her son holding on tightly to her hand, a pacifier stuck in his mouth.

"Congratulations! I hope you have a blessed marriage," Annie said, giving them a sweet smile.

Haymitch raised his glass in acknowledgment, his vision already beginning to blur. Effie pushed her chair back and stood up to address Annie properly. Effie did not have that many friends since the Rebellion and Annie was among the few that she has.

"Thank you, Annie," she said, hugging the petite woman dearly. "I'm so very glad you could make it for my… wedding. You too, sweetie," she told the boy, stroking his hair gently.

Annie returned the hug, squeezing her tightly and the comfort it brought was something Effie needed on that important day.

"He's a good man and you're a good person. You looked out for me while we were in prison - I know your heart, Effie. Both of you. You take care of each other now, alright? And I will always be here, a phone call away, okay?" Annie whispered in her ears, rubbing her back soothingly.

Effie swallowed thickly, nodding her head gratefully.

Out of the corner of his eyes, Haymitch watched them curiously. He wanted to know what Annie had whispered to her but refused to ask Effie about it. Haymitch slumped further in his chair, watching the festivities through half lidded eyes, all the while convinced that he was not drunk enough.

The well-wishers came in a never ending stream which gave Effie something to occupy herself with aside from the inebriated groom next to her. Effie spoke and accepted their congratulations on his behalf since he couldn't even be bothered to acknowledge their presence, something she considered rude, and weathered through the snide remarks her relatives threw her way for being married to a district drunk when she could have chosen some other better suitors who had petitioned for her hand.

Somewhere deep within his consciousness, Haymitch knew he should probably stand up for her and let them know that he would not tolerate them speaking to Effie that way but he couldn't bring himself to care. He was still bitter about being forced to marry and besides, he had not made her invite her family. Nobody told her to invite them. She was the one who had insisted, claiming that it was bad manners not to.

_Let her suffer, then._

"Effie, darling," a short old woman, held her hand and looked her imploringly. "I simply cannot fathom the thought of you with…  _him._  And the consummation…" the wrinkly old woman shuddered in disgust, whispering out of the corner of her mouth.

Haymitch heard her despite the whispering. He had a feeling that she meant for him to hear it anyway.

"Aunt Ambrosia, thank you for being here on my joyous day," Effie said flatly, repeating the same line for the thousandth time that night. "The both of us are – "

"The idea is simply appalling, Effie dear. Is there no other way around? Can he even function?" the old woman continued, ignoring Effie.

The rude interruption was the last straw. Effie lost what little shred of patience she had left.

"There will be no... no…," she grappled for the right word before settling on the term Haymitch had used, "no bedding ceremony tonight," Effie snapped.

Effie rarely loses her patience at someone and that was his cue to intervene.

Haymitch rose unsteadily on his feet, holding on to the edge of the table for support. "I assure you, I am very capable of doing – "

"Yes, Haymitch, thank you," Effie cut him off.

Haymitch frowned but Effie was just trying to prevent a confrontation from breaking out between him and her aunt.

XxX

As the night wore on, Haymitch grew increasingly drunk. Effie became restless with worry. There were paparazzi here at the wedding. The press would have a field day if he passed out at his own wedding and it wouldn't do for her reputation to have to carry Haymitch back to their hotel room.

Peeta saw the way Effie's eyes darted around the hall trying to think of a way out before Haymitch passed out. He crossed the room towards her.

"Is everything okay?"

Effie was beyond relieved to see him standing there. "No, it's not. Look at him, Peeta!" she cried. "Drunk! You'd think he could make today an exception but clearly not."

Peeta thought about it for a moment before instructing her.

"Take him up to your room, Effie. Put him to bed before he embarrasses the both of you," Peeta said, looking over his shoulder at a group of people, some of them clutching on to their cameras.

Instead of being pleased with the idea, Effie was appalled at the thought of being alone in a room with Haymitch.

She shook her head adamantly. "I – I can't," she stammered slightly. "The feast isn't over yet, in any case. We can't just leave. Don't you think that'll be rude?"

At the word  _leave_ , Haymitch who was slumped over the table before this lifted his head up. He squinted at Effie in interest.

"Leave?" he asked hopefully. "Is this damn thing over?"

Without waiting for any of them to reply, Haymitch stood up abruptly, scraping his chair loudly on the parquet floor.

"Come, Effie," he beckoned.

The decision had been taken out of her hand. She couldn't just leave him stumbling alone to find their room. Effie exchanged a look with Peeta, her eyes reflecting the uncertainty she felt. Effie made to follow Haymitch but her steps were unsure and unsteady so very unlike the usual self-confident Effie Trinket that everyone knew.

Peeta jogged towards her as she descended down the steps. "It's your wedding night, so, I think it'll be okay to leave before the ceremony is over. People are leaving anyway. We'll cover for you. Katniss and I will come by to see you tomorrow."

"Peeta, I don't think it's a good idea for me to be alone with him," she whispered urgently.

This was not how she imagined her wedding night to be. A teenage Effie Trinket had always thought the night was supposed to be filled with romance and love but she learnt quickly that life did not always turned out the way she expected it to be. She certainly did not expect to be married to Haymitch. Knowing that it was Haymitch that she would be marrying, Effie had lowered her expectations. He was not a romantic man, she knew that and so she did not expect the night to be filled with roses on the bed and soft music playing in the background but the least she had hoped for was to be with someone sober enough to consummate their marriage without the risk of him passing out on top of her.

Effie did not want to be alone with him right now. If she could delay it one more night, she would or at least until Haymitch had some decent control over his mental faculties.

"You've been working with him for years, Effie. You've been in a room alone with him before," his brows crinkled, not quite understanding why Effie was being so hesitant.

"Yes but that was different!"

"Effie," he said patiently, "he's your husband. You have to learn to –"

"Trinket!" Haymitch's voice boomed over the hallway. "The door is locked. You better have the keys or I swear I will break open this door."

And to prove his point, Haymitch rattled the door knob violently in his hand.

XxX

Walking into the room, Haymitch grabbed a bottle of whiskey from the table and collapsed on the bed.

"You ought to change out of your dirty clothes before lying down on the clean sheets," Effie reprimanded him, the same thing she had told him each time she supported him back to bed at the Penthouse, drunk out of his skull.

Haymitch growled in annoyance but pushed himself off and sat at the edge of the bed with his feet planted firmly on the ground and elbows resting on his knees. He pinched the bridge of his nose and squeezed his eyes tight.

Knowing there was nothing else to say, Effie walked past him towards the bathroom when his hand shot out to grab hold of her slender wrist. Effie yelped in surprise. He tugged gently on her hand, urging her to move closer to him.

Her eyes darted from him to the bathroom door as she stood before him, uncertain of what he wanted. His fingers were still curled around her wrist. Haymitch blinked furiously, trying to clear his head and will the two images of his wife swimming before him to converge.

Haymitch cleared his throat, his thumb brushed against her inner wrist. "We have to - "

"No," she shook her head, "you're drunk."

"How observant," he chuckled. "I can still do it, you know. I can… what was that word your aunt used? Ah, I can function."

Effie laughed bitterly. "That is all well and good but the fact remains that you're drunk. You and I are not going to consummate this marriage while you're drunk. And besides, I thought you didn't want to have sex with me. Wasn't that what you said earlier? The thought of sleeping with me seems very repulsive to you."

Haymitch scrunched his face, desperately trying to think back if he had indeed said that. He was very certain he didn't find her repulsive. The more he tried to remember it, the more the memory eluded him.

"Yes, but we have to," he repeated. "Something about the law…the law… it says…"

Once again, his brows furrowed in concentration as he tried to recall what he had meant to say in the first place. What did the law want him to do?

With a frustrated sigh, Haymitch disregarded the thought. Thinking too much was beginning to hurt his head especially not when he was incapable of latching on to a concrete thought process in his current state. Slowly, he released his hold on Effie and watched as she bolted into the bathroom, away from him. The lock slid into place.

Effie did not come out for a long time.


	2. Chapter 2

** Chapter Two **

_The tall figure sauntered into the office without a knock and stopped short, taking in the scene before him._

_"Oh good God, it's you, again," Haymitch grumbled in annoyance when his eyes landed on Effie Trinket sitting primly on one of the chairs._

_"Now, Haymitch, there is no need to antagonize her," Plutarch said, beckoning for him to take a seat. "I have called for both of your presence here because I have a proposition to make. Rest assured, I have run it by Katniss and Peeta first, both of whom agreed that this is one of the best options for you."_

_Haymitch raised an eyebrow quizzically, not understanding a word Plutarch was saying. He poured himself a drink before easing himself into the uncomfortable chair across Plutarch's desk. Next to him, Effie sat up straighter. She crossed her legs and folded her hands neatly on her knees. As was his habit, out of the corner of his eyes, Haymitch discreetly admire the long and slender legs of the woman whose sole purpose in life, he was sure, was to annoy the living daylight out of him._

_"What options?" Haymitch murmured, watching Plutarch from the rim of his whiskey glass._

_"As you are probably aware by now, the bill to boost the population of Panem after the destructive effects of the war a few years ago has been passed into law. It has come into effect. The law requires that – "_

_Haymitch choked and sputtered on his drink. Plutarch shot him a disgruntled look and threw a napkin on the oak table, making a big show of wiping it clean._

_"Excuse me? We're talking about Population White Paper?" Haymitch thundered. "I thought they were still debating the merits of that law!"_

_"The bill was passed three days ago. Where have you been?" Effie pursed her lips in annoyance._

_He glanced at her sideways. "Passed out drunk, most likely," he answered nonchalantly._

_"Now as I was saying before I was interrupted," Plutarch gave Haymitch a pointed look, "the law requires all eligible single male and female of child bearing age - between the ages of 18 to 50 years old - who are also physically able to produce offspring to enter into a marriage. The purpose, as you know, is to bear children in the hopes of repopulating the country; which means you and you, unfortunately."_

_"This is fucking barbaric. We didn't fight the war for this, Plutarch._ I  _didn't rebel against a tyrant for a society that demands its citizens to procreate like machines!"_

_Haymitch slammed his hands on the table in a fit of anger. Effie flinched and shifted her chair away from him._

_Plutarch eyed Haymitch coolly before he sighed in exhaustion._

_"You were there the day the bombs went off in the City Circle, Haymitch. Countless children died on that day. The numbers were staggering. Let's not take into account the number of children sent off to the arena before the –_

_"Whose fault was that?" Haymitch muttered under his breath._

_"- Rebellion. The statistics department was forced to calculate and report the forecast of Panem's population in five, ten, twenty years from now. The fact remains that there are not enough children right now to replace us. The government has been encouraging married couples to have more children, for people to get married and settle down now that there's peace but it is simply not working. They're taking drastic measures. It is now mandatory to get married and contribute to the population growth."_

_"What if … What if we don't get married? What if we run away or…"Effie trailed off, glancing at Haymitch helplessly._

_"Where to? Where do you want to hide?" Plutarch questioned._

_Haymitch stood up and started pacing the room. Eventually, he came to a stop by the window and perched on the window sill, arms folded across his chest._

_"What I want to know is what will happen if I absolutely refuse to go through with this debacle?" Haymitch tapped his fingers on his arm._

_"You will be stripped off your citizenship and sent off the borders of Panem," Plutarch answered. He looked at Haymitch with a serious expression, imploring him to think things through._

_Effie gasped loudly, her eyes wide with horror. "They can't… No, they can't do that. Nobody knows what lies beyond the borders."_

_"Plutarch, listen to me," Haymitch said. "I was a victor, I was a rebel. I helped free this country, dammit! Does that not stand for anything?"_

_"No," Plutarch shook his head. "There are no special treatments. Everyone is subjected to this law. Even me. No exceptions."_

_"You? Who are you marrying?"_

_"Fulvia Cardew"_

_Haymitch began to chuckle, shoulders heaving with laughter. "Fulvia? That Fulvia who is always with you? Your assistant?"_

_Effie slapped his arm and shot him a warning look._

_"Okay, I shouldn't laugh," Haymitch held up his hand. "Alright, it's rude."_

_He stuffed his fist inside his mouth to stop himself but he couldn't help it. The stress of the situation had finally set in and the only reaction he had left after the raging disbelief was to laugh at Plutarch's soon to be bride._

_"Fulvia Heavensbee," he said with quiet mirth. "Does have a nice ring to it, don't you think, Effie?"_

_"Yes, so does Haymitch Trinket," Plutarch fired back. "When you're both married, you should really consider taking Effie's name."_

_That shut him up effectively and then he exploded. "WHAT? I'm not marrying_ her! Are you insane?"

_"The law was passed three days ago, I don't see you with a list of women asking for your hand," Plutarch replied._

_Turning towards Effie and in an attempt to deflect the attention away, Haymitch asked with a smirk on his face, "what's the matter, Trinket? No prospects, too?"_

_"Oh, I have several, Haymitch," she answered calmly. "It would seem that I have a far better reputation than you do which is why –"_

_"That's quite enough. The reason I called the both of you here today is because I think you should marry each other," Plutarch told them bluntly._

_"You're joking?"_

_"Surely you can't be serious about this?"_

_"I am being absolutely serious," Plutarch frowned and addressed Effie. "Those men that petition for your hand, they are Capitol sympathizers. You know what that means, don't you?"_

_Haymitch had a feeling that there was more going on than he was privy to. He looked at them curiously._

_"I fear that your safety will be compromised if you were to marry one of them. Your role in the Rebellion, I'm afraid, would put you in jeopardy. Sure, I doubt they would kill you for what you've done but they would be capable of something far worse. And Haymitch, if you cannot find a suitable woman to marry within the next three months, you will be assigned someone to marry from the pool of people in the same situation as you are."_

_Haymitch's head shot up in alarm, looking at Plutarch in silent mortification. Next to him, Effie had paled considerably – the picture of death warm over._

_"I thought it would be better for the both of you to be with someone you know. I'm trying to help you. Wouldn't it be preferable to be with someone you've known for years than a complete stranger? I am fully aware, of course, that you've never really gotten along but you have worked together for many years and when the time calls for it, the both of you did a damn fine job during the Rebellion. To put it rather simply, you are each other's best option."_

Haymitch sat bolt upright, the sheets pooling around his lap. He had been having the same dream - a memory of the conversation in Plutarch's office – for days now. The dream had always ended the way it did with Plutarch trying to convince them. The rest of the memory was a blur to him. Haymitch had been too shell-shock to remember much else.

Effie had called him a few days later. She wanted to know if he had given what Plutarch suggested any thoughts and if he had found anyone he would like to marry yet. He had not and he told her as much. Effie admitted, albeit reluctantly, that Plutarch had been right – she would rather marry him than those men she hardly knew.

Haymitch chuckled bitterly at that. "So I'm the lesser of two evils, eh?" he slurred, gulping down more whiskey.

"Yes, to put it rather simply, you are."

"Look at that, Effie Trinket asking for  _my_ hand," he gave a drunken laugh. "I ought to pop the champagne."

"I – I have to give an answer to those men by next week or it would be taken that I've rejected their proposal. I may not get any other proposal, Haymitch, so I'd rather not say no to them only to find myself being assigned a husband," Effie exhaled slowly. "I hope I can hear from you soon."

"You know any of those men? They're your acquaintances?" he had inquired.

"Yes. One of them was a former Gamemaker, a friend of Seneca Crane. The other was a bonds salesman before the Rebellion and a sponsor to one of the Career districts. The last man, he… he owns a textile company before Snow fell and somehow, managed to retain his company even now. He's known to … He enjoys the company of various women and men. That's all I know about them."

It took him a few days - days he spent in a haze of alcohol induced stupor - but he called her nonetheless. He was drunk out of his mind when he picked up the phone, driven by an unexplainable need to save Effie from some terrible fate as Plutarch had implied and himself from being shackled to a some stranger.

"Fine, I'll marry you."

He had passed out right after that and now, it was a brand new day. He had just woken up as a married man next to Effie Trinket.

XxX

Turning his head to the right, Haymitch was greeted by the sight of Effie sleeping so close to the edge of the bed it was a surprise she had not fallen off. Effie was curled in a fetal position with her back to him, blonde hair covering her face. During the course of the night, he had apparently taken all the covers and left her with none. As Haymitch slid out of bed, he draped the covers over her small, trembling frame and disappeared into the bathroom.

He had woken up fully clothed and Effie was dressed in her nightwear which meant that they had not consummated their marriage. He breathed out in relief. Somehow he doubted that Effie would have been too thrilled if he was drunk while they consummate their marriage. Haymitch made a mental note to check with Plutarch if they would  _still_  be stripped off their citizenship if they failed to do it at all. He was certain that they were required to consummate it at some point since the entire purpose of this law was to have produce children and children do not just magically appear.

 _Oh, shit,_  he hung his head in disbelief as a horrified thought crossed his mind, _children… a kid… I got to have a kid with Effie._

Haymitch stared at his own reflection in stunned silence. All these while, he had been preoccupied with the prospect of being married and now that the marriage ceremony was well over and done with, he had to face another very real problem.

When he exited the bathroom, Effie was already awake. There was a long awkward silence which neither of them knew how to end. For once, he had no snide remarks to throw her away and Effie, it seemed, had nothing to offer to break the quiet.

Haymitch dabbed his face with a clean towel and began to get dressed. Effie went about the room, packing their belongings into a luggage.

"Oh… Is this yours?"

Effie held up a long silver chain she found at the nightstand. She inspected it curiously, noting that the pendant hanging at the end of the chain was handmade; a thin scrap of metal with sloppy engravings on it, something that had been done in a hurry. She brought it closer to make the letterings out.  _H & M._

"Yes, it's mine," he crossed the room and snatched the chain from her. Haymitch put it around his neck and tucked it underneath his shirt.

"Who is M?"

"My girl," he answered. "Myra."

"You still kept it after all these years?"

She had not meant to say it out loud. Effie was genuinely surprised that he had kept something so inconspicuous for so long.

"She gave it to me when she came to say goodbye," he informed her. "It was the last thing she ever gave to me."

"I see," she said.

Effie zipped up their luggage without another word. She purposely avoided his gaze.

"I'll be at the lobby," he told her gruffly. "Don't take too much time in front of the mirror. You're only going to Twelve, there's no need to dress up."

Haymitch grabbed the heaviest of the luggage and carried it out of their hotel room without waiting for Effie.

XxX

Katniss and Peeta joined him for breakfast at the hotel's restaurant. They were surprised to find him alone without Effie who walked in half an hour later, pulling the luggage behind her.

The kids had been fortunate enough to be married before the law came into effect. He did not want to imagine the nightmare they would be in if they were still single. He had no doubt that they would marry each other still, law or no law, but the proposals coming in from across the country asking for a hand in marriage for the two war heroes would be unimaginable.

When Effie took a seat next to him, he noticed that her eyes were red and it was not lost on Katniss or Peeta either because they fussed over her, giving Effie their undivided attention all the way to the train station. They asked silly questions about her wedding dress, what she planned to do with her apartment at the Capitol now that she was moving in with Haymitch and Peeta even talked about one of her aunt who had chatted with him at the wedding.

"Well I thought she was lovely, perhaps a little lonely but lovely, nonetheless," Peeta smiled.

When they finally reached District Twelve, it was already dark. The stars littered the skies above and a bright crescent mood shadowed them as they made their way home. Nearly everyone who had survived the bombing of District Twelve had retreated back to their houses which they had rebuilt painstakingly after the war ended. Katniss and Peeta bade them goodnight, leaving the pair alone. Haymitch led his wife home.

"Well," Haymitch opened the door and stepped back, allowing Effie in, "welcome to your new home, I suppose."

Effie was no stranger. She had been to his house on several occasions to extract him and make sure that he was presentable enough for each reaping but she still stood awkwardly in the middle of the hallway.

"My room is on the upper floor second door to the right, sweetheart, or have you forgotten?" his lip curled into a smile. "And I can assure you that it's clean. Peeta made sure I cleaned it."

"I remember," she nodded, giving him a small smile.

"You know where the rooms are, do what you need to do," he told her, nudging her forward.

Haymitch watched her as she climbed the stairs and disappeared round the corner. He slunk into the kitchen to retrieve his trusted companion from the shelf. That night, he drank himself to sleep on the sofa in the living room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Population White Paper is a very, very real thing where I lived ( & the cause of many hot debates and protests). The government is in desperate need to boost our population but thankfully, they didn't force people to get married. Reviews are lovely, so please leave me some :)


	3. Chapter 3

** Chapter Three **

The moon set and the sun rose hour by hour, and when his geese finally started making a racket out at the back, Haymitch woke up. His body and neck was stiff, having forced his frame on the sofa which was not the most comfortable of places to fall asleep. He reminded himself that there was a perfectly good bed upstairs and that this was his house to do as he pleased.

Haymitch climbed the stairs to his room and threw open the door. It momentarily slipped his mind that Effie was probably inside. He walked in on her dripping wet from her shower and very, very naked.

There was a loud audible gasp.

"Turn around!" she screamed, hastily wrapping and securing a towel around herself to preserve her modesty. He complied. "Don't you know how to knock?"

"Give me a break, sweetheart. I don't have to knock to enter my own room," he grumbled under his breath. "I forgot I have a woman in here."

He tilted his head slightly to the left and from the corner of his eyes, he could see her. Haymitch saw Effie putting her bra on, saw the long pair of legs he had been eyeing all these years and -

"You're peeking!" she accused him.

"What – No," he denied, startled at being caught, "don't be ridiculous."

"Don't look."

"Listen, sweetheart, we haven't done the toasting."

"The ... what?" she asked. "You can turn around now."

When he turned to face her, Effie was already dress and Haymitch, much to his own surprise, found himself slightly disappointed.

"You said something about toasting," she prompted when Haymitch remained quiet.

He rubbed his forehead uncomfortably, thinking of the best way to explain the custom to her.

"Here, in Twelve, weddings are done differently than in the Capitol. We have our own tradition, our own wedding ceremony," Haymitch began. Effie was listening to him intently, curious and wanting to know what Haymitch's intentions were. "When people get married here, they'll... sing a traditional song as the couple crosses the threshold of their new home but... I supposed that's a bit pointless now because here we are," he made a sweeping gesture. "They'll make their first fire and toast some bread - the toasting. It's only after all that is done that you're declared as husband and wife."

Effie nodded her head in understanding.

"Does it sound ridiculous to you?"

"Well, it's a bit different than what I'm used to but a tradition is a tradition," she said, standing in front of him. "When do you want to have this toasting?"

Haymitch blinked. It took him awhile to understand that Effie had just agreed to the toasting when he had expect her to disagree since they usually could never agree on anything.

"We need bread," he cleared his voice.

"I'll ask if Peeta could help us with that," Effie smiled before brushing past him to call Peeta.

The moment she left, Haymitch sank on the bed, head cradled in his hand in disbelief. Was this really happening to him?

The wedding they had at the Capitol had seemed like someone else's memory, someone else's wedding. Haymitch hardly felt like he had been married even as they stood before the Registrar to sign their marriage papers. That was a formality, a legal requirement from the Government. It didn't seem real to him but the toasting, that would be real.

Haymitch had been brought up with the toasting as a marriage practice. No toasting, no marriage. Once, when life was simpler or as simple as it could get for two teenagers in a starving district, he and his girl had made plans to get married. Sweet, lovely Myra with her dark hair and gray eyes. He couldn't remember with perfect clarify how she looked like. Her face had faded over the years but he always remember how he felt around her. Nervous, happy, cocky and always looking forward to see her.

He shut his eyes and tried not to think of his girl. He forced himself to think about what was about to happen. If he went through the toasting with Effie, he would have to accept the fact that she is his wife.

XxX

"I'll be back," he told Effie.

Haymitch went out to gather the firewoods from town. Someone had taken the opportunity to start selling them since the law had been passed and it proved to be quite a lucrative business. When he returned home, Effie was waiting for him dressed in a cream sundress with printed floral designs. It looked simple by her standard.

"Katniss didn't say if I needed a white dress. I - I don't have any white dresses. Will this be okay for you?"

"It's fine," he nodded without even looking at her. Haymitch continued to arrange the firewood carefully in the fireplace.

"Will you be inviting anyone, Haymitch? Some friends or –"

"Just Katniss and Peeta."

"Are you sure because the more –"

"Just get them, Trinket," he snapped without meaning to.

"Abernathy," she whispered quietly. "That's my name now - you might as well get used to it."

His movements stilled and in the silence stillness of their home, the wind carried her voice along with the stricken, hurt emotions Effie felt. He shouldn't have snapped at her, not at the woman who had accepted to go through with a wedding ceremony she wasn't familiar with because he had asked.

"Effie," he called out to her but she had left in a hurry to get away from him.

With a frustrated sigh, Haymitch went up to their room, changed his shirt and attempted to do something about his hair. At least, he thought, Effie could not accuse him for not putting in any effort into looking somewhat decent. The shirt he changed into was slightly rumpled and creased on the sleeves but at least it was clean and that would have to do.

By the time he went back down, Katniss and Peeta was already seated in the living room with a glass of wine in hand. Effie stood nervously to the side, her hands wrung together.

"Come sit, Effie. It'll be fine," Katniss assured her.

"Tell me again what I will need to do," Effie asked.

Haymitch stopped outside the doorway, out of their sight and listened as Effie rehearsed the steps to the toasting with Katniss and Peeta, trying to commit it to memory.

"So, Haymitch and I will light the fire and then, you'll pass us the bread, won't you, Peeta? We'll toast it and ... do we say something to each other? I haven't prepare anything and it'll be the height of rudeness to reuse the vows we made at the Capitol."

"Effie, just calm down, alright? There's no real need for a speech - some people do it, some people don't. The important thing is the toasting. Haymitch isn't a man of many words so I doubt he will be giving any."

"Are you absolutely certain? I want this to be as perfect as possible," she said. Haymitch could imagine her biting her lower lip as she said it. "I'm just worried that's all. He brought it up, so it must be important to him or he wouldn't talk about it at all."

Having heard enough and not wanting Effie to have a meltdown, Haymitch chose that moment to walk in.

"No speech, okay?" he told her.

Haymitch took Effie by the elbow and led her in front of the fireplace. Together, with his guidance, they lighted their first fire. When the fire came to life, there was a surprise gasp from Effie as she turn to give him a small smile. She stared at the fire, entranced by it as it slowly licked away at the firewood. Haymitch took the bread from Peeta and with a gentle tap to get Effie's attention, well wishes from Peeta and Katnis, and wine in everyone's hand, Haymitch and Effie completed their private toasting.

 _I'm married,_  the thought flashed through his mind.

XxX

That night, when he entered the bedroom, he found Effie in front of the vanity mirror wearing a silk nightgown. The red was so deep he had mistaken it for black. She brushed her hair slowly and methodically. Effie had grown her hair long over the last few years. It had been cut short into a pixie after she was extracted from prison.

He stood behind her uncertainly. When their eyes caught in the mirror, he raised his hand, palm open to show her the gold bracelet he held.

"I was from the Seam, my family was cloaked in poverty but this," he moved his hand towards her, "I was told, belonged to my grandmother before the Dark Days. One of the only possession left from the past so.. it's old. She gave it to my mother."

Effie turned around in her seat to look up at Haymitch.

"It's beautiful," she said, running her fingers gently along the bracelet.

"I dug it out from the place my mother buried it when I went to get firewood," he informed her. "She had to hide it from my father; he wanted to pawn it away to finance his gambling habit and to feed the family. My mother refused to have it sold. She insisted that she could take on extra jobs to feed us," he cleared his throat. "It meant a lot to her but it's yours now."

"Mine?" she asked uncertainly.

"Yeah," he said. "Just... don't try to sell it away."

"I would never do that," she exclaimed, slightly affronted that Haymitch found the need to tell her that in the first place. "But I – I can't have this, Haymitch. It belonged to your mother."

"It did- once, a long time ago," he scratched the back of his neck uncomfortably. "If she was here for the toasting today, she would have given it to you. Her mother gave it to her the night before her toasting. Take it."

Haymitch held his hand out. Effie sat staring at the bracelet, making no move to take it from him. For a brief second, he was actually worried that a woman like her, so used to the finer luxuries in life would find the gift rather lacking. It was an old bracelet after all. He had cleaned it as best as he could but he doubted she found something buried for years under the earth fanciful.

Weary of waiting, he placed it on the vanity. He had done as his mother instructed him so many years ago when he had helped bury it at he meadow - he had given it to the woman he married - and if Effie did not want it then he would keep it at the attic where he stashed everything he did not want to look at ever again, including all twelve of his Victor's plague from his tour.

"Thank you, Haymitch," she said. "It's lovely. I - Thank you."

He glanced behind his shoulder. Effie had wrapped it around her wrist but was struggling to fasten the clasp together. Haymitch turned to face her, watching her quietly. He did not offer her his assistance. When she finally managed to clasp the hook, Effie flicked her hand. The bracelet slid down her tiny wrist, slightly loose.

Her movements were tentative and hesitant as she approached him and kissed him softly on his cheeks. Haymitch held his breath at the feel of her lips. He exhaled slowly as he pulled away, raising his hand to touch the spot where she had kissed him only to realise what he was doing and jammed his hand into his pocket.

Effie offered him a smile to filter out the tension. "This was a charm bracelet," she remarked, pointing to the places where the charms should have been. "What happened to it?"

"It got lost over the years, maybe," he shrugged.

She kept on touching and twisting the bracelet somewhat mesmerised by it. His eyes, inadvertently followed the movement of her fingers and before he could stop himself, Haymitch took her hand in his. He mimicked her actions, tracing the bracelet and then the wedding band on her finger, a plain silver ring with gold plating around the edges. A small diamond rested on top of the ring, glittering brightly as it reflected the overhead light. His own ring was of the same design albeit without the diamond stone.

His hand remained where it was. Haymitch rested his thumb on her inner wrist, feeling her pulse beating steadily. His eyes flickered up to her face. Effie blushed, her tongue darted out to lick her lips.

"Haymitch, we haven't - we should… "

He blinked, his brain needing a moment to catch up on what she was trying to tell him.

"You're right."

They stood awkwardly, each waiting for the other to make the first move. He acted first, pulling her close to him gently as he trailed his hand up her arm, leaving goosebumps in his wake. Haymitch tilted her chin up.

Outside, an owl hooted. A gust of wind blew through the crack in their window. Effie shivered but he never knew if it was because of the cooling wind against her skin or because his lips was on hers at that very second.

XxX

If he had any reservations, it left him the moment Effie's arms wound around his neck and kissed him back, her touch so soft and so vivid against his skin. If anyone were to ask why he had not wanted to bed Effie Trinket like he had drunkenly claimed during their wedding feast, he would not be able to answer because her lips were like soft pillows and when her tongue skimmed his lower lip, Haymitch was lost.

He enjoyed kissing her more than he would allow himself to admit. Haymitch was aware that there were far too many layers of clothings between them

The drawstring of her nightgown came undone scant seconds later. Haymitch left her lips for her neck and trailed his tongue along her jaw line. Her hand curled on the front of his shirt while the other played with the small hairs at the nape of his neck. As he slid the deep red garment off her shoulders, his breath caught in his throat the moment he realised that she had nothing underneath those except for her underwear.

 _Minx,_  he thought. He wondered if she had planned to seduce him that night and consummate the marriage but batted the thought away. It was unlikely.

He kissed her; his tongue delving into her mouth, running it over her teeth as his hand tangled itself in her hair, knotting it together as they moved back towards the bed. Effie's legs collided with the edge of the bed and she fell backwards, grabbing the collar of Haymitch's shirt instinctively, pulling him down on top of her.

She gave a nervous laugh and Haymitch smiled down at her despite it all. Effie brought her hand up and ran it over the planes of his face; tracing a finger over his eyebrow, down his nose and across his bottom lip.

"We'll make it through this, Haymitch," she whispered.

He had no idea what she meant - the consummation? Being married to each other? Surviving through this charade of a law? – so he just nodded.

As if that was all the encouragement that Effie needed, she began to fumble with the buttons of his shirt, unbuttoning them guided only by her sense of touch since Haymitch had turned off the bedside lamp, plunging the room into darkness. She had stiffened instinctively and asked in a whisper why he had done that but Haymitch kissed her, effectively silencing her.

Haymitch had his reasons. He wanted their consummation to be over fast and he had foolishly thought that he would be able to through and be done with it but he was a man, and he wasn't fooling himself. Gone was the fast and clinical plan he had in mind. He had unexpectedly found himself lusting after this woman, after Effie Trinket of all people. Turning off the lights and flooding out his sense of sight and with it, Effie's face, had been a spur of a moment decision.

_But she's your wife now; it's acceptable to want her._

He ignored the voice, forcing himself to concentrate on the feel on her beneath him.

He kneaded her breast as his free hand traveled further south. Effie let out a soft moan, her warm breath against his cheek and Haymitch was ensnared. His hand ghosted over her mound, teasing tantalizingly and it elicited a respond Haymitch was not expecting.

"Haymitch," she breathed out softly, almost pleadingly.

He couldn't remember the last time he was with a woman, a year ago, he supposed during one of the many post-war parties he had been made to attend, and he wasn't sure how to treat a woman he was supposed to face again in the morning. Most of his encounters had been simple one night stands, something he did to satisfy a man's basic need.

Haymitch managed, like he always had all these while and soon, Effie had not a stitch of garment on her and neither did he. Her hands roamed his chest in the dark, feeling and touching, and tracing the scar on his stomach.

"I have them, too," she said, despondently.

"I know."

Haymitch had never seen them before but he could feel the raised tissues at random places on her skin. He kissed her neck again, biting and nipping gently. He swirled his tongue on her ear lobe and kissed his way down the hollow of her throat and between the valley of her breasts before taking a nipple in his mouth. He rolled it with his tongue expertly making her gasp, her hand gripping tightly onto his hair. It hurts but the pain heightened his senses. He felt himself throbbing with a desire he had never before knew he had for Effie.

His hand travelled down again. Effie writhed underneath him. She was wet, aching and ready enough for him.

In the dark, with the pale moon shining through a sliver crack of the window and into their room, he could see the outline of her face as he towered over her. Haymitch positioned himself at her entrance and paused; he was breathing deeply through his mouth, his body quivering with anticipation.

"Please," she begged. "Please, Haymitch."

When he entered her, wet and warm and so tight, Haymitch squeezed his eyes shut, letting the feeling wash over him. He could feel her stretching to accommodate him. The feel of her nails raking against his back, and the tightness of her walls around him was making him heady. Haymitch waited for her to adjust to the feeling of him in her and when he felt her raising her hips slightly in response, he began to move. He tried to pace himself, refusing to let it end before it even began but Effie made it impossible to.

She thrust her hip up, making him grunt into her ear. There was a sloppy moment when they both tried to find a suitable rhythm. Effie was going slowly and he followed her, not wanting to rush it. He kissed the corner of her mouth and when she turned her head to kiss him, he bit her lower lip.

He increased his pace. Effie said nothing except to moan and stroke his neck. It spurred him on. Effie panted heavily in his ear, her arms wrapped around him, holding on to him as if her life depended on it.

The steady cadence of their coupling gave way to his erratic thrusting as he reached his peak. He smirked when she squirmed beneath him, writhing and moaning. His name fell from her lips, throaty with desire. Her soft sighs and careless whimpers unraveled him. He pounded into her with abandon. Her walls clamped tight around him and Haymitch slumped against her, utterly spent.

_It's done. We've consummated._

His mistake was with his preoccupation that they had just consummated their marriage. Haymitch rolled off her and lie on the bed, completely oblivious to the fact that Effie had never reached her own climax.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've always thought the toasting ceremony Katniss mentioned in the book was fascinating & never had the chance to incorporate that into any of my stories until Consortium. So if that's not how you imagined the toasting, I'm real sorry about it. It's how I interpret it. On another note, in my head, I imagined that the first night together as a married couple would have some sort of awkwardness to since it's a whole new level, and a whole new role for each party.
> 
> Please review! It would make me happy.


	4. Chapter 4

** Chapter Four **

"You're on your pill, aren't you?" he asked through a mouthful of bread.

His eyes fell on the newspaper on the kitchen island. A photo taken on the night of their wedding feast stared back at him. In it, Haymitch was leaning forward slightly in his seat whispering something to Effie whose brows were creased, two fingers holding her fork up in the air gingerly as though she was about to take a bite of food when Haymitch had interrupted her.

He frowned at the article, not because he couldn't remember what it was he had said that night but because he couldn't hide his disgust. The revulsion wrapped itself like a tendril around him and his hatred for the media threatened to bubble onto the surface. Even now, after the Games, they still managed to irk him. They may not want an interview from the Victor of the Second Quarter Quell but had wanted something much worse. They wanted to drive a point home across to everyone – to show that nobody, not even victors or rebel leaders were exempted from the law – which made Haymitch's irritation even worse. It was pure bad luck, in his opinion, that Effie and himself were among the first two well-known figures in Panem to get married under the law a month after it was passed and the Government had seized the opportunity to publicize it.

"Yes," she confirmed. "Please don't talk when your mouth is full. It upsets my digestion."

He downed his coffee, satisfied with Effie's answer. He had woken up with an epiphany and was in a good mood; as good a mood as Haymitch Abernathy could have after seeing the papers that morning.

"Trink – Effie," he began. "You keep on taking those birth control pills and we can hold out till the law dissolves. We'll never have to deal with having children."

He looked proud of himself and waited for Effie to share his enthusiasm. She didn't. Effie munched carefully on her breakfast, wearing a frown on her face, the same one that was on the paper he just read. Haymitch knew that look – she was thinking and whatever he had told her, she most likely thought it was stupid.

The idle smile on his face vanished.

"What?" he demanded. "Spit it out."

"I don't think it would be that easy. I've read the law and everything else related to it. The pill is illegal, Haymitch, or any other sort of birth control. I'm not supposed be on it. It would defeat the purpose of – "

"Well, I'm not having you pregnant, Effie!"

"Yes, I got that loud and clear," she huffed, rolling her eyes at him. "The legislation is not stupid. If they take a blood test, they'll know I'm on birth control and we'll get in trouble. And wait out till the law dissolves? When will that be, Haymitch? It could be years from now or worst, it will never ever be dissolved."

He rubbed his aching temple. She was right, of course. He had read through the statute and was fully aware that the law demanded couples at least to have two children to replace each parent. He couldn't even claim that one of them was infertile because if they were, they wouldn't even be subjected to the law to begin with.

Haymitch waved his hand in annoyance. "Stay on the pill for now. We don't need a kid so soon."

She nodded absent-mindedly. Her thoughts went to Annie Odair. She was lucky. Extremely lucky to already have young Finnick and therefore not required to get married. It was encouraged that she find a husband but at least it was not mandatory for Annie.

"Kind of makes you wish you have an illegitimate child somewhere, don't you?" she asked softly, a smile playing on her lips. "There's nothing on the paper that says an illegitimate child could not be taken in because technically the child will be yours, blood and all. That's a loop hole they have yet to discover and rectify."

He laughed; a genuine, deep belly laugh.

"Never thought of that. But yes, you're right about the loophole. Supposed I should start making enquiries to those few women I have slept with while drunk", he teased, a smirk gracing his face, "except, I don't remember who they are."

"I'm surprised there's any at all considering last night," she said.

Her voice was light and her eyes twinkled with amusement, with the ease of someone who was used to the sort of banter they've just had. He knew Effie was joking, that she did not hold what happened last night over his head but that did nothing to stop the glare he gave her.

"Won't happen again," Haymitch said over his shoulder, determined to have the last words as he walked out of the kitchen. "Next time I'll make sure you finish first and that you'll scream so loud you wish…"

He let the words hang in the air, letting her ponder the rest of it.

 _Did I just promise her a next time? No!,_  he shook his head slightly,  _I don't want to sleep with her._

XxX

Being married did little to change Haymitch. He never quite assimilated his role as a husband into his life. He was so used to being alone that it was difficult to take Effie into account. He left the house without telling her where he was going, he bought dinner and totally forgot about her amongst the many things he did that irritated her. Effie in turn, learnt to be independent and not to rely on him on anything. It wouldn't be at all wrong to say that he was married in name only.

Haymitch did not change his ways. He was still a drunk, sarcastic and grumpy on most days. He hardly saw Effie except in the morning, if he woke up early enough which was in itself a miracle.

After the Rebellion, his job was to make sure Katniss was okay. He kept an eye out on his kids but both Peeta and Katniss had found each other, and they were happy together. Sure, he could sometimes hear Katniss screaming in the dead of the night for her sister; from the nightmare that still plagued her but Peeta was there which left Haymitch with no role to play. Haymitch slowly melted into the background and let them live their life.

He drank constantly, he waited for shipments of liquor from the Capitol and he had taken to spending his time at the bar in the town of District Twelve to get away from Effie. He would only return home late into the night when he knew Effie would be asleep. It was a good plan to keep their interaction to the bare minimum.

Effie had found a job on the sideline helping District Twelve with its medicine production for Panem to occupy her time. She had a job at the Capitol as an officer of the Court. From what little he knew, it was a desk-bound job with plenty of paperwork and keeping the judges on schedule, something she was definitely good at. After their marriage, Effie kept her job with a considerably lighter work load since it would be impossible to plan the judges' schedule while working from home in District Twelve. Each morning, she would leave early to the medicine factory. Haymitch had no idea what she does there and he wasn't the least bit interested to know.

If Haymitch was an abysmal husband, Effie tried to be a wife. She was a terrible cook but she would wake up early enough to prepare breakfast so that Haymitch would have something to eat by the time he roused from his stupor and he could not fault her for trying. Peeta had once remarked that Haymitch had filled out a little ever since he got married.

She whipped the house into shape within weeks of her moving in. Effie cleared out the refrigerator and replaced the bad stuffs with edible food. His windows were wiped clean off the grime, dirt and dust from the bombing and the floor shone with whatever cleaning agent she had used. Effie changed the dusty drapes to something light and earthly in colour. She spread a rug at their living room before moving the coffee table on it. For the first time in years, Haymitch had clean bed sheets every week and his house suddenly seemed much larger now that Effie had thrown away years' worth of knick knacks. Lights stream through the window and the air smelt fresh in his house. Begrudgingly, Haymitch admitted quietly to himself that his house felt more like a home now.

Sometimes when he was really drunk out of his mind and returned home from the bar late at night, he nearly thought he was in the wrong house. He never had flowers on the dining table before but there was a vase of lilies on it. Her lotions and shower creams lined up in a neat row in his bathroom next to his shaving cream. She was slowly taking over the house and he allowed it but he drew the line when she tried to water down his alcohol. He had lost his temper and the fight had been ugly.

"You do whatever you want but you leave my alcohol alone. I am not your fucking pet and if you attempt to change me, I will –"

The threat hung in the air as they stared down at each other.

"You're poisoning yourself and I'm just trying to help you. You're my husband! I can't just –"

He threw the clear bottle of vodka in his hand at the wall beside where she was standing and it shattered at her feet. She jumped, her hand clutching her chest, eyes wide in shock. Effie darted past him, a line of blood trickling down her shin where a sharp piece of glass had cut her.

Haymitch swept the shards and dumped them into a bin with a sigh, his vision blurry and he felt like a million drumbeats were playing simultaneously in his head. Effie was asleep on her side of the bed with her back to him, clutching a pillow by the time he climbed into bed an hour later. He pulled the covers back and saw the bandage wrapped around her leg from the cut earlier. He touched it gingerly, a twinge of regret in his heart. Haymitch leaned forward and kissed her temple. She didn't notice, too tired from having cried herself to sleep. Effie never let him see her cry but he knew because the pillow would be soaked with her tears.

The days went on the same, she threw herself into work and he drowned himself in alcohol. She brought home pay checks while he contributed to the finances from the monthly payout he still received from being a victor.

"I think you show your geese more attention than you showed Effie," Katniss remarked one day as she stood to the side watching him fix the geese pen.

Katniss and Effie had gotten closer since she moved to Twelve. With a husband that hardly communicated with her, Effie had form a bond with Katniss and made several friends at the factory.

Truthfully, Haymitch felt a bit lost now that Katniss and Peeta no longer needed him as much. His entire life had been about hating the Capitol, hating Snow and fighting in the Rebellion and now that it was all over, he felt aimless.

_No, not really. I could hate this law._

What he never realized was that his anger at the law, the resulting hatred at being forced to married had inadvertently carried on to Effie who was a victim of this marriage as much as he was. But his anger had blinded him too much to make him see that.

XxX

The television was on when he walked in that night. Effie was lying on the sofa, a blanket draped over her as she watched the late night show. It was one of Plutarch's productions, a talk show of some sort.

Haymitch staggered on the sofa, unsteady on his feet, reeking strongly of alcohol.

"From the bar?" she asked, her eyes fixed on the screen.

He grunted. "Why are you still up?"

"Can't sleep," Effie answered. For a long while, the only sound came from the host of the show asking a series of question to the actor he had invited to studio. He had nearly fallen asleep when Effie spoke. "Haymitch, there are reports of women committing suicide."

He blinked blearily. "What women?"

"Women who got into a marriage because of the law," she sat up and handed him a copy of that day's newspaper. "It's been 4 months since the law was passed and there are already 8 reports of suicide. There could be more out there, unreported , who knows."

"God, Eff," he pressed his palms on his eyes. "That's depressing stuff to tell me at night."

"Oh, well, I'm sorry, if your drunken mind could not handle the harsh reality out there," she snapped at him. "Good news for tonight: Katniss is pregnant and she had been waiting to tell you but you were always either passed out drunk or at the bar."

XxX

He couldn't remember how he got into bed that night after Effie had stormed off and he staggered to the phone to call Katniss, only to remember that it was in the middle of the night. When he woke up, the lights were streaming from the window so brightly he feared he might go blind.

Effie was out at the front yard trying her hand at gardening. He moved around the kitchen looking for his breakfast, his mouth dry and head throbbing painfully. Haymitch pushed open the window and shouted at her from the distance.

"Eff, where's my breakfast?"

He had woken up to breakfast duly served every day for three months and had come to expect it.

"Try looking for it with your eyes wide open. Maybe you'll find it," she answered, not even looking up as she dug the earth with her spade.

He found his toasts eventually and munched on it as he moved to take the phone off its cradle. After three rings, Plutarch answered.

"How's the missus, my friend?" Haymitch asked, munching loudly.

Plutarch's own wedding ceremony was held two weeks after Haymitch's. His wedding was a big event, with a camera crew on scene giving a live feed to those who had not been invited due to space constraint. Plutarch had fast gained popularity since the Rebellion and his post as a secretary of communications bolstered his standing with the public – broadcasting TV shows to the masses while making sure that news and media were not censored as tightly as it was during Snow's reign. People love him simply because he was as charismatic as Peeta and the citizens appreciated being kept in the loop.

He heard faint voices of people talking in the background before a door closed and the voices disappeared. Plutarch must have moved to a different room.

"She's doing well. And how is Effie?"

He peered out of the window, looking at Effie who was on her knees trying to plant some seeds.

"She's doing this crazy stuff, moving from one hobby to another, looking for something she's comfortable with, I think? She tried knitting last week, gave that up somehow. She's gardening as we speak."

"Effie Trinket, gardening? You've changed her, Mitch. I never thought Effie would voluntarily get dirt under her nails," Plutarch laughed.

Haymitch kept an eye out for her, worried that she might walk in while he was on the phone and what would follow would be a string of questions he didn't feel like answering at the moment.

"Listen, Plutarch, the papers yesterday - those suicides? – is this what Panem has ended up being? We got to do something," he said urgently.

"Do what? What exactly do you have in mind, Haymitch?"

"We took down a nasty son of a bitch before, didn't we? Taking down a law would be easier," Haymitch said, pacing the living room as he talked on the phone. "This is the kind of things you flourish at. Get some statistic - how many people are happy with their marriage, how this law is not actually fulfilling its objective - those kinds of stuff and we can overturn it."

"We can't just jump into this one, Haymitch. It needs to be planned out and we need support –"

"We'll get support," Haymitch asserted.

Plutarch sighed. "This is personal, isn't it Haymitch? You want to get rid of Effie."

Haymitch kept quiet because it was not something he could deny. "I want my life, Plutarch. And she should have her life, too. She's lost here in Twelve. What the fuck is Effie Trinket doing gardening for?"

"Why couldn't you have a life with her? Did you even try?"

He scoffed. "Come on now, Plutarch. You're telling me you're okay with being married to Fulvia?"

"So what if I am? I think everyone wants to be loved and she cares about me. That's good enough for me.

Haymitch snorted, not expecting to hear such sentiment coming from Plutarch. He nearly hung up the phone in disgust when Plutarch said, "But you're right; you have a point with the suicide. I'll think about this and I'll call you again."

"Haymitch, I want to grow tomatoes," Effie announced the moment she walked in. "Would you please get me tomato seeds from town tomorrow? Do you think we have enough space to grow an apple tree?"

He looked out the window again, and took in the vast space in front of his house with the red-bricked walkway leading out to the front gates. Unless Effie was blind, which he was starting to believe she was, there are plenty of space for at least one apple tree.

 _Yes,_  he concluded,  _Effie Trinket does not belong in District Twelve._

 


	5. Chapter 5

** Chapter Five **

Haymitch backed her against the blue tiled wall of their bathroom, kissing her with an unrestrained desire. His hands cupped her ass before sliding lower to her thighs. He gripped them tight and raised her up, her long legs immediately wrapping around his waist.

With one of Haymitch's palm flat against the wall, Effie is held up by the wall behind her and Haymitch's body pressing against her.

She wriggled her hand in the space between them sliding it down to gently grab his erection and guiding it to her entrance

"So eager," he said breathlessly into her ear. The feeling of his warm breath on her caused her to grip him tighter and Haymitch hissed in pleasure.

She kissed him in response and gasped when he finally entered her. Effie clung to him. Her arms now wrapped around his neck as he pressed himself closer to her, trapping and pounding into the squirming woman. It gave Haymitch a sense of pride knowing he could make her lose the perfect control she had long cultivated.

Effie licked the water droplets trailing down his neck. The warmth of her tongue against the coolness of his skin made him shiver and he laced their fingers together, holding them up on the wall beside her head, joined together at the hips.

The mirror had misted from the steam of Effie's shower earlier. She was showering, humming softly to herself, her body covered in suds when he had barged in, and puked the contents of his stomach in the toilet bowl. She had screeched and screamed at him and he had shouted at her in return, but between the yelling and the anger, he had ended up kissing her, his clothes drenched as he stood below the shower, his finger pumping inside her. She made quick work of it, ripping his clothes off and flinging it over the shower screen.

He couldn't say that he wasn't pleased with how the morning had turned out – with Effie mewling and begging instead of screaming her heads off at him.

Haymitch buried his face on the crook of her neck; his teeth lightly grazing Effie's smooth skin. Her long nails dragging against the skin on his back, her hips bucking in rhythm with his thrusting.

"Faster, Haymitch," she urged him. "Oh, oh, yes."

He pulled himself nearly all the way out before slamming back into her, repeating it over and over when Effie began to writhe and moan in earnest. The noises she was making spurred him faster, his pace became erratic and his muscles wound tight waiting for the sweet release. He felt her walls clamped down on him, head thrown back in exquisite pleasure as she shuddered, her orgasm rocking her body.

Haymitch continued thrusting into her, a few more deep strokes before he felt his knees weaken and he spilt himself inside her.

Effie slid against the wall, dragging Haymitch down with her where they sat slumped on the bathroom floor, the shower still raining water on them.

XxX

"What? No food?" he asked. "Where's the food? Morning sex took up all of my energy."

"No, make your own breakfast, you brute! You took up all my time this morning and I'm running late," she said breathlessly, gulping down her morning coffee. "This is not to happen again, Haymitch!"

He smirked. Haymitch had woken up with a hangover but the things they did in the shower had more than made up for it and despite what she said, he doubt she meant it.

Effie grabbed her handbag, gathered her keys and dashed past Haymitch to the front door.

"I'll see you later," she shouted over her shoulder.

She disappeared from the kitchen; her small frame running in her red high heels out of the door before she could be accused of being late for work, never realizing that she had forgotten to take her pills that morning.

XxX

"Heard you're having a baby," Haymitch said walking in to Peeta's bakery.

The blonde young man turned around, a dish cloth slung over his shoulder with an easy smile etched on his face. Katniss emerged from the back of the shop when she heard Haymitch's voice. She was dressed in her hunting gear; a bow in her hand, her father's jacket zipped up all the way.

"Quick Peeta, get Plutarch's production team down at the bakery! Haymitch Abernathy is sober and has paid us a visit," Katniss said. "Finally."

Haymitch scowled. He couldn't fault Katniss that much since Haymitch had never once stepped foot in their bakery from the day Peeta opened it to the public months ago. He kept telling them he would drop by one of these days but he never did.

"Don't give me that attitude, Katniss," he grumbled. He moved behind the counter where Katniss was standing with Peeta's arm around her. Haymitch clapped Peeta's shoulder, the corner of his lips curling in a smile and then he turned to Katniss, his hand cupping her cheek.

"Congratulations, kid," he smiled. "Both of you – you deserve this."

Katniss smiled at him; the happiest he had ever seen her.

"It's a little bit scary, Haymitch. I – We don't know what to expect and I've been thinking about the Games a lot lately. More than usual and what if she asked me about it? What do I tell her?"

"Or him," Peeta added.

"That's what the book is for, isn't it?" Haymitch said, turning his back abruptly to the pair of them. Even now, he still hated any talk that relates back to the Games. "The one you made after the war, every story of those who died."

"I didn't want to forget them but I – I'm not sure if …" she trailed off.

Haymitch took a cheese bun from the cooling rack and brought it up to his nose, inhaling the sweet smell melted cheese. He took a bite from it before turning to look at them again.

"How are you and Effie?" Peeta asked, changing the subject. "You've been married for 3 months, yes? Any luck?"

He gave half a shrug from where he was standing, hips propped against the counter. Nobody knew that she was on birth control and he rather kept it that way. He shuddered to think the trouble they would both be in for actively contravening the law if the wrong person knew that Effie was on contraceptive.

"I thought I read somewhere that couples are expected to have a child or at least expecting the arrival of one by the first year of the marriage," Katniss pointed out, her brows furrowed as she tried to recall if that was in fact true. "Or they would be sent for medical screening to determine if there are any complications."

"By the second year," Haymitch corrected. "But every year, there will be medical screening to determine a couple's continued fertility and health. They don't want any health risk that could affect the baby – minimalise the risk of birth defect. There's some random blood testing, too, to make sure we're clean of drugs, birth controls, whatever."

"They're very thorough," Peeta commented. "Have to, I supposed, considering the aim is to promote child birth."

Yeah, whatever," Haymitch said. "Listen, I'm hoping it wouldn't get to that – me and Effie having a child, I mean."

Katniss and Peeta exchanged a look, and with a sense of dread, Peeta asked, "Meaning?"

"Been talking to Plutarch and reading the papers – the suicides and the general unhappiness of the masses. We need to dissolve this law and we need to do it now. They want to promote population growth but all those suicides from both men and women alike are putting the population in decline even more."

"Hold on – did you say we?"

"It was Plutarch's idea that it would be more well-received if the public sees the two of you rallying behind this. I just wanted this whole mess to end, Peeta. I don't want to drag you both into the spot light to be used again but I promised him I would ask you about it."

"No," Peeta said firmly. "No."

"Peeta…" Katniss began.

Haymitch exhaled slowly. "I understand. And with Katniss' condition, I don't want to complicate things."

"Condition? You make pregnancy sound like it's a terrible thing! I'll help," Katniss told him.

She turned to look at her husband, whose eyes bore into hers, silently imploring her to rethink her decision. "We don't have to be on the cover of the news or have a camera crew on our back. But we could help, Peeta. Whatever needs to be done, we'll do it quietly in the background. This law isn't right. People shouldn't be forced to get married like this. It's supposed to be sacred, isn't it? Between two people who love each other and need each other. That's why we got married, didn't we?"

"Alright," Peeta nodded finally. "But we do not want unnecessary publicity. Make that clear to Plutarch, please. I'm assuming Effie has drawn up a schedule or some sort of plan on how we're going to go about this?"

"Ah, yes," Haymitch chuckled suddenly, moving hastily towards the door. "She doesn't know."

"What?!"

"Not yet, anyway. I'll tell her, she'll be glad to be rid of me. Thanks again for agreeing to be part of this."

Haymitch disappeared for the rest of the day.

XxX

Walking around in town is something Haymitch actively detest. Due to the open gate policy which allows for relocation of the citizens and also partly to the marriage law, the original resident of District Twelve has been diluted to a handful of them. The rest of the population came from different corners of the country. Some had moved in with their spouse or relocated here for reasons Haymitch wasn't privy to.

"Aye, there, Haymitch," someone greeted, tipping his straw hat.

He had absolutely no idea who that was so he simply nodded his head and continued walking.

"Oi! You want some of my stew, boy? Give this old lady some business, eh?" Greasy Sae shouted at him.

She had bought a small area in District Twelve's Town Market, which was previously the Hob except the town was now much larger, cleaner and organized. Greasy Sae had set up her restaurant and moved in with her granddaughter to the upper floor of the two-story small bricked building. A wooded hand painted sign that simply said "Welcome", had been nailed to the door. A small cloth was spread out on the window – Sae's Best Soups; a ridiculous name for a restaurant, Haymitch had thought each time he passed by it. Despite the less than creative name, business was good for the old woman mostly thanks to the open market economy of Panem. With trading and exports of ingredients from various districts, her soup became popular. The taste had improved drastically with more flavour and seasoning from spices that had been rare before the Rebellion and her soup now contains meat that didn't come from wild dogs.

He raised his hand in greeting. "Not today, I'm afraid. Thank you. I just had something from the bakery."

"You bring your lovely wife here one day, boy, and I'll meet her proper and Sandy here would sure love to talk to her!"

Haymitch cringed. He was very certain he had long passed the stage of a boy but as far as he could remember, that was what Greasy Sae had called him since he first met her as a scrawny little kid running around in the Seam. Sandy, her granddaughter stared at Haymitch blankly but otherwise did not acknowledge him.

The unassuming two story building finally came into view and Haymitch heaved a sigh of relief at having finally reached his destination. District Twelve finally has a library from which he could search for information pertaining to the law. The library wasn't as big as the one in the other districts and it didn't have a wide collection of books either but Haymitch was glad for it nonetheless.

"Where can I find copies of the newspaper for the past few months?"

Haymitch leaned forward and drummed his fingers, waiting impatiently for the girl to look up from the book she was reading.

"That way," she pointed, her eyes never leaving the page in her book.

"Right, thanks."

The library was eerily quiet and Haymitch felt slightly cut off from the world especially since he just weathered through the hubbub at town. He found what he was looking for and started to gather papers from a few months before the law was passed to the day he was married.

He brought it to an empty table at the back of the library, diligently perusing it, making small notes on a pad of yellow papers he gotten from the librarian out front. Haymitch's goal was to gather as much information as he could about Population White Paper, the law, the effects of it and anything else related to it.

His progress was slow as he decided not to only peruse the newspaper but other sources as well - journals or articles – and he was determined to work his way through.

XxX

Hours passed unnoticed as he sat hunched over his notes. His hand was aching, his neck and shoulder stiff and he decided he had done enough work for the day. He would return tomorrow. Glancing at the clock mounted on the library wall, he noted that he had only been there for 3 hours.

"Ridiculous, it felt like half a day," he grumbled to himself.

When he stepped outside the library, rolling his shoulders to relieve the ache, the sky was tinged orange and there weren't as many people in town. He made the slow walk to his favourite hangout – the bar - his mind going through the facts that he had learned in the library today.

Haymitch didn't notice the figure around the corner until he collided into the person.

"Damn it! Are you blind?"

"Polite as always," Effie said snidely, picking up her bag off the floor. "What are you doing here?"

"What? You're keeping tabs on me now? Do you want to know who I've been with and what time I'll be home?" he asked with irritation.

"That's not what –" she sighed. "Never mind."

She walked away from him and from the way her heels were clicking furiously against the cobblestone he could tell she was angry.

"Eff," he called out. "You going home?"

She spun around. "Oh you're allowed to ask the questions now?"

"Alright, fine," he raised his palm in mock surrender. "You wanna come with me? To the bar?"

"Why would I go to the bar with you?!" she asked crossly. "Honestly, Haymitch."

"Something I want to talk to you about. Come along, you haven't eaten, have you? We'll get something to eat."

Effie narrowed her eyes at him.

"Are you asking me out?" she looked suspicious but her voice betrayed her. She almost sounded hopeful.

"God, no," he scoffed. "I told you I wanted to talk to you."

"Not at the bar, Haymitch," she ran her hands through her hair tiredly.

"Fine," he took her by the elbow and steered her away from the group of shop owners idly chatting by the side walk. "We'll talk as we walk home."

 


	6. Chapter 6

"Mrs. Abernathy!" a gravelly voice called out for her.

Even after three months of being married to her, he hadn't really thought of Effie as a 'Mrs. Abernathy' and hearing someone call Effie by that name still gave him pause. He wondered if he would ever get used to it.

It was Greasy Sae, standing at the entrance to her small eatery with an apron tied to her waist and a ladle in her hand as she beckoned Effie and him over.

"Come sit down. Have some of my soup, yes? You're from the factory?" she asked, showing them to a seat at the corner of the restaurant. "I heard the train from the Capitol came today. Busy day for you, I expect, exporting all those medicines out. And you, boy, don't just stand there, pull the chair out for the girl!"

"Bossy," he muttered under his breath.

Haymitch ordered clam chowder and when Effie asked for vegetable soup, it was promptly shot down with a "you need meat, girl! You're as thin as a stick - that body is not good for carrying a baby. I'll get you my famous meatball soup!"

The word 'baby' seemed to have set off a coughing fit as Haymitch sputtered and sprayed the water he had taken a sip off. Effie looked at him disdainfully.

"Something wrong, Haymitch?" Effie asked with her nose turned up at him.

"No," he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "Nothing at all. Except with hips as narrow as yours, giving birth would be terrible. I wouldn't advise it. Besides, you're not exactly mother material, are you?"

"Since when did you become such an expert at birth and pregnancy?" she rolled her eyes and gave an exasperated sigh. "I know you don't want them. You don't have to tell me my hips are narrow or insult me. Stop being so condescending. Can we just have a peaceful dinner? For once?"

Over dinner of soup and chicken wraps which they split in half between them because Effie could never finish her food, Haymitch pulled out the notes from his inner pocket. He straightened it out and allowed Effie a moment to skim through it.

"What are these? What are you doing?"

He explained what he had in mind to her, laying out his argument logically.

"It's something you said that night – those women committing suicide? – and it made me think. What if we can prove that there's more harm than good coming out of this travesty of a law? See, right here," he pointed, "a woman was hospitalized because of an abortion gone wrong. Tried to do it herself since clinics and hospitals are no longer legalized to carry out abortions."

"This woman was married under the law?" Effie inquired.

"Yes – married June 14 – two weeks after the law was passed."

"Two weeks before us," Effie noted.

She took her time carefully reading through his messy scribblings. "Terrible handwriting," she said, rubbing her eyes tiredly.

"Not only that," Haymitch went on, ignoring her comment on his penmanship. "If you look at this note I made – on the paper it was printed over a small area so it was easily overlooked – there are a handful of citizens who outright refused to go through with this barbarism and chose the life over the borders. That's not helping the population at all."

"Really? They left Panem? They left everything behind?" Effie asked in disbelief. "The law  _is_ barbaric – a direct violation to our basic human rights. We have the right to choose how we live and who we marry!"

"Look at you, look at all that righteous anger. Not so surprising, I supposed, especially from someone who is used to all those rights you have just passionately talk about it. Some of us hadn't been so lucky," Haymitch mocked, "we have longed gave our rights to live to the Capitol years ago for their sheer entertainment."

"Haymitch…" she tried to placate him. "I know the anger will never completely leave you but after the war, everyone had their rights - we thought we had it - and now it's being taken away again. That was all I meant."

He waved his hand carelessly, gesturing for her to continue reading his notes.

Finally, after she had looked through each pages, Effie looked up, "you're not doing this on your own. Who did you manage to rope in?"

"Plutarch," he replied, dipping his bread into the soup. "Peeta and Katniss."

"You… You spoke to all of them first and told me last?" her voice wavered slightly.

"What does it matter?" he frowned.

"Nothing. I just thought… since we're married you would have… I'm your wife, it would be nice to know these kind of things before you –"

"You won't be for long," he shrugged, unconcerned; his voice was laced with the unmistakable and familiar confidence he had shown during his Quell interview. There was no doubt that Haymitch was certain his plan would work, that the law would be gone in no time.

Effie stared at him with a stupefied expression on her face; hurt and wounded by his indifference.

"You're asking for my help then?" she steeled her voice clearly refusing to let him get to her.

"Yeah, you in on this?"

"I wouldn't miss it," she said venomously. Her thoughts had turned dark and if he couldn't wait to get rid of her, she couldn't imagine living with the likes of him any longer.

XxX

Haymitch focused his attention on the cause at hand. He spent his time at the library gathering whatever information he could get his hands on and waiting by the facsimile machine for documents that Plutarch would sent over.

Working with Effie reminded him of the time they worked together to bring Snow down. Effie had excelled in intelligence gathering. All those years spent making acquaintances and expanding her connections were not in vain as she peeled her eyes and ears open for anything interesting or valuable for the rebels. The knowledge she acquired, she gave it to Haymitch.

Once, she even held vital information detailing President Snow's schedule. There were talks about an assassination – planting an explosive device at the place the tyrant would be but the risk was far greater that what it was worth. Since then, Haymitch held a grudging respect for her knowing full well the length she would go to take down the man who killed her sister and the danger she could be in if she was discovered.

Effie had told him about her sister that one time when Haymitch confronted her one cold chilly night as the train stopped to refuel at District Seven.

"Why are you doing this? What's in it for you, Trinket?"

"I told you I have my reasons," she said brusquely, brushing passed him to get back to the train.

His hand curled around her upper arm and pulled her back, sneering down at her. "What reasons? They didn't give you a promotion to a better district, so now you're out to bring down your own city?"

She pulled her hand free, furious and insulted. "Not everything is about the Games. I'm not here for the glory or the fame or to meet famous Victors like you. I'm here for one reason and one reason alone."

"You didn't become an escort to meet me?" his hand clutching his chest, "I'm wounded, Trinket."

"Move aside, Haymitch, let me back on the train," she said tiredly.

"No, tell me now. Why should I trust you? How would I know that you're not helping us now to learn what we're up to and when the time comes, you won't just turn around and stab us in the back?"

He stared at her unblinkingly, silently challenging her to get past him. Effie returned his stare, neither of them blinking, each waiting for the other to back down first. In the end, she did. She glanced around warily, and hugged herself, rubbing her hands up and down her arm to ward off the cold.

"I used to have a sister, two years older than me. When she turned 18, she joined the Games and became a stylist for District Four. It was her dream and she was happy, so happy. I wanted to be like her. I couldn't wait to be 18 so I could join her. Be an escort or work with Caesar Flickerman at his studio. Then she changed. She kept to herself; she wouldn't talk to me or to anyone. She became scared and afraid, and I don't know why. One day, I found her in her bed, cold and lifeless with blood pouring out of her wrist."

Haymitch's throat had gone dry. He was not expecting such a tale of tragedy. He had never once considered that Effie would even understand the meaning of the word; cloaked in her life of parties and a riot of colours, a life of wealth and luxuries. He had to admit that when he had asked for the truth, he thought Effie would confess that she had been helping them because she did not want to be on the losing side, that her reasons were purely selfish.

"What happened?" he heard himself asked.

"I had to clean her room after she was gone and my sister had a safe. I was the only one who knew the combination. There was note for me. Her last words to me, written in her own blood – "It's not what you think it is, Effie. Don't join". I joined the Games despite her warning. I became an escort hoping to get close enough to the team from District Four to find out what she knew."

Effie gave a humourless chuckle.

"It turns out that my sister realized what I knew only after I became an escort - the harsh cruel truth; those are children dying. She loved children, you know? But I supposed if you're not working for the Games, it's not actually real to you. Had to find that out the hard way and, I'm sorry, Haymitch, I never knew how terrible life was in the districts until I… Anyway, she told my father. And what did he do? He ratted her out to the Government. He was loyalist, held Snow in very high regards. I – I'm glad he's dead."

"So you're trying to avenge your sister?"

"In a way, I supposed I am," she smiled thinly at him. Effie side stepped him and boarded the train. He never saw her again until the next morning and she never mentioned her sister since then.

XxX

"Haymitch," her shrill voice called out for him, snapping him out of his reverie.

"In the kitchen!"

"Ah, there you are," she walked in, heels clicking on the floor. She dumped the papers she was holding on to the kitchen island which Haymitch had turned into his workstation. "Took a lot of convincing but I got this from the Courts."

It was a list of names of every couple who had been married under the law from the day it was passed till to date.

He let out a breath. "Excellent."

"What do you plan to do with it?"

"I don't know yet. But I – "

"I know what you can do with it. You have Plutarch who is essentially a master at propaganda, harsh as it may sound. Interview a handful of these people. Make it into a clip or something. How they feel about the law? If they are happy and contented? If they think it should end?"

Haymitch tapped a long finger on his chin, thinking and considering Effie's suggestion. "And then what?"

"Then you spread it. The media is a powerful thing, we all know that, and it will catch. If everyone affected by this law shares the same sentiment and if they see that something is being done in the shadows, they will want to be heard too."

"Are you suggesting another Rebellion?" Haymitch asked, slightly affronted. He wasn't sure if he was ready to be part of another anarchy, much less play an active role in it. His time was done. He just wanted to be left alone and live out the time he had left before he dies of liver failure.

"No," she shook her head. "We don't need another Rebellion. Everyone's afraid of another war. We've lost too many. But that's it, isn't it? The memories of the last war are still fresh and we're still recovering from it, so a huge unrest on the street will be a cause for concern for the Government."

"Threaten the Council? That's what you're saying?"

The Council had been set up with President Paylor as its head. The Council consisted of several representatives from every districts who come together to govern the nation by enacting the necessary laws; the marriage law included, hearing debates regarding issues of public policies, the creation of various government organisations and other administrative policies that ensure the government ran smoothly.

"Yes. I don't even think you have to broadcast the clip. You could just take it to President Paylor and tell her it would air if she doesn't repeal the law," she suggested.

Haymitch laughed; the sound bouncing off the walls of the kitchen and the lines on his eyes crinkled making him looked years younger without all the frown lines marring his sharp angular face. Effie thought he should laugh more; he looked more approachable that way.

"Are you laughing at me?" the annoyance in her voice was unmistakeable.

"No, no, I'm not. You're brilliant, Eff. I didn't know you were that cunning," his gray eyes were bright and the lights in the kitchen made it looked a shade lighter.

"I – Thank you," she said. Haymitch hardly gave out praises and she would take that rare compliment.

"I suppose I better get Peeta. He's good with people; he could get them to talk to him."

And just like that, his focus shifted from her to something else entirely. Haymitch never saw her sad gaze lingering on his back as he moved out of the kitchen, or the small sigh that escaped her lips as he chatted with Peeta on the phone. He seemed far happier and contented trying to get rid of her by having the law dissolved than trying to make their marriage work.

 


	7. Chapter 7

There was a knock on her door and Effie who was bent over her desk at the factory cataloguing medications to be exported out, looked up. Two government officials stood outside her office. Their postures were rigid and although one of them wore a smile on her face, Effie couldn't help the chill washing over her.

"Please come in," she beckoned. "This is a surprise. I wasn't informed anyone from the Capitol would be here today. You are here to inspect the factory, I presume?"

"No, Mrs. Abernathy. We're here for you."

"Me?" she stammered. "I'm afraid I don't – "

"You're due for a blood test."

Effie put down the pen she was holding on the polished table and straightened the papers carefully in a bid to buy more time as she tried to calm the pounding of her heart. When she met their gazes again, Effie tried to exude a false sense of calmness.

"Due for a blood test?" she repeated.

"Yes. Under the law, a couple is subjected to random blood testing to determine they are not under the influence of any drugs or medications that could hinder pregnancy. Surely, you are aware of this?"

"I – Yes, of course. Is Haymitch required to go through with this, too?"

"Yes. We had him tested at the hospital before we came here for you. Please come along, Mrs Abernathy. We'll be taking you to the hospital. It wouldn't take more than an hour of your time."

Effie was furious. If Haymitch had been tested first, couldn't he at least have the decency to call and warn her? Granted, it wouldn't do her much good because there was nothing she could do to stop it. The results of the blood test would reflect the truth that she was using a form of birth control and they would both be screwed to hell and back. The officials would be sure to inquire as to where she had managed to obtain those pills since it is now illegal to sell it to anyone married under the law. Effie would be forced to tell the truth about the black market operations in which transactions involving the trade of contraception and birth control pills took place.

The test itself was over in a blink of an eye. What follows was a stretch of extremely uncomfortable moment as they waited for the results. The two government officials stood in front of Effie at the hospital corridor, one of them had a clipboard in her hands as they asked her a series of exceedingly intrusive personal questions.

"How often do you and your husband engage in sexual intercourse?"

"Erm – Well… I …, "she stammered trying hard to answer the question with as much dignity as she could. They had been married for six months and Effie was sure she could count on her fingers the number of times she and Haymitch had actually been together. "You don't expect me to keep counts of the number of times we slept together all these months!"

"Of course not, Mrs. Abernathy. If you could tell us the frequency in terms of the number of times per week, that would suffice."

"Oh," she blushed. "I would say about, umm, twice a week?"

"Mrs. Abernathy, you understand that we asked your husband the same questions?"

"Did you, now? What was his answer?"

"I quote – 'three to four times a week and you can't say that's not healthy.'"

"He's exaggerating, I'm sure!" Effie laughed nervously. "I believe it's closer to twice a week."

"Very well, I'll note down your answer," she said as she scribbled on the paper. "The results will tell us if you are taking some sort hormonal birth control. Haymitch is clean except for the alcohol in his system. Barring the need to send you for a full medical evaluation, I hope you can answer this truthfully. Are you on any form of birth control?"

Effie blinked and her mind wandered back to when she was a teenager having to sit through a sex education talk. They had mentioned the different types of birth control and she struggled to remember them because she only knew two – the pills and condoms.

"No, I'm not on any. And neither is Haymitch."

"Have the both of you talked about children yet?"

Effie peered at the clipboard on the paper attached to it. The list of questions seemed to go on forever.

"I think we better find some place to sit," she suggested, leading the way to the end of the hall where another woman could be seen with two government officials answering her own set of questions. They exchanged an awkward smile.

Fifteen minutes later, they were done and Effie heaved a sigh of relief, as she sagged on the couch. She wiped her brows and her clammy hands on her skirt, suddenly nervous when she remembered there was still the result of the test.

Effie closed her eyes and an image of her standing on the edge of District Twelve came into view. Haymitch was beside her with a duffel bag in his hand. They stared out over the woods, to the trees spread out far and wide in front of them. The two government officials waited silently for them to cross the borders of Panem into the great unknown, stripped off their citizenship for having contravened the law.

"Mrs. Abernathy," someone called out. "Effie."

A nurse stood in front of her carrying a brown envelope that no doubt contained the dreaded result. Effie knew the nurse. She was from District Seven and had moved here with her husband. She smiled kindly at Effie and handed her the results. Effie opened it with shaky hands and the now familiar nauseated feeling she's had for the past two weeks returned with full force. She very much felt like fainting and wondered if it would all be a cruel dream once she regained consciousness.

XxX

Haymitch was just unlocking the front door when he heard the familiar clicking of high heels against the pathway leading up to the house. He glanced over his shoulder to look at Effie. Her face was ashen, her eyes looked lost and since she didn't greet him, he doubted she was aware of his presence at all.

Opening the door to the house, he held it open for her before locking it behind him. He watched as she went through the motion of hanging her coat and putting her keys in the bowl. Haymitch cleared his throat impatiently when she just stood in the middle of the hallway blocking his path. She jumped, startled and looked at him as though she only just realized he was there.

"I really don't care if you're gonna stand there all night and guard the door, but I have things to do," he said, walking past her.

Then he doubled back and stood in front of her, suddenly remembering the test he had to go through earlier that day. "Eff, is this about the test? Are you alright? Did they find out?"

She shook her head and he growled in frustration. He had asked her three questions and he expected three answers, not a shake of her head which failed to shed light on anything.

"Speak up," he commanded.

"No."

"What do you mean no?"

"No, I didn't take the test."

Haymitch's eyes narrowed. "You got off? How the fuck did you manage it?"

"I- I told them I was not feeling well, that I was sick with flu and they told me they would come back next week," she lied.

Haymitch heaved a sigh of relief.

"Alright. Good thinking. We need to get you off the pill until they're done with their blood test."

XxX

Effie was already asleep by the time he entered their bedroom with a bottle of whiskey in his hand that night. The lamp on his night stand was still on and he picked up the documents Plutarch had sent over yesterday, intending to go through it before he sleeps, if he could sleep.

Pushing the covers back, he slid in, resting his head against the headboard as he worked through the report all the while chugging his whiskey steadily. He was one third through when his eyelids began to droop but a small whimper from Effie jolted him awake again.

Haymitch looked at her as she continued whimpering. The bed sheets were fisted tightly in her small hands, her petite body trembling even though it their room wasn't cold and her face was scrunched as though she was in a great deal of pain and then Haymitch heard it, the soft whispers making its way past her lips. She was calling out for her sister, and pleading for her own life.

"Wake up," he shook her shoulders. She didn't rouse so he shook harder. "Wake up, Effie. It's a nightmare."

Her hand came up and connected with the side of his jaw. It wasn't painful but it caught him by surprise. He put away the papers he's been holding on the night stand using his whiskey bottle as a paper weight and then slid a hand below Effie's neck, pulling her closer to him. She thrashed violently at the demons haunting her dreams. Haymitch pinned her hands to the side and held her, her back against his chest.

"It's a nightmare, Eff. Come on, sweetheart, wake up," he mumbled into her hair, his lips close to her ear.

He felt her calm in his arms and just to be certain, he repeated his words again. "Just a nightmare, you're safe. You're in Twelve."

Her muscles slackened and after a few disoriented seconds, she blinked her eyes open and turned to look at him.

"Haymitch?"

"I hope the sight of my charming smile calms you down."

"I – Did you just make a joke?" her voice was soft.

"I am capable of it," he replied. "You had a nightmare."

"It happens when I'm stress."

"Stress? What about?" he searched her eyes, the blue of her irises were nearly gone as her pupils dilated from fear.

"Being married to you can be stressful," came her easy banter.

He smiled to himself. Haymitch wanted to ask her more. He was curious to find out if their work with trying to repeal the law was stressful for her or if it was her job at the factory but her breathing had evened out by then. Effie had fallen asleep in his arms, and despite himself, Haymitch didn't pull away. When he woke up the next morning, he found Effie still wrapped around him with her arm across his chest and her head resting on the crook of his shoulder.

XxX

"The house is in a mess, Haymitch!" she nagged at him that morning. Effie moved around the living room in a blur trying to put things back where they belong.

"Leave it, then! Don't clean the house if you're just going to complain about it to me. I don't want to hear it."

He walked out of the room, determined to put enough distance between him and Effie.

"Don't walk away when I'm talking to you!" she screamed at his retreating back. Frustrated, Effie took a coaster and flung it in his direction. It hit him on the back of his head and he whirled around, the fire dancing in his eyes.

For a moment, Effie almost regretted it. Almost.

"I work during the day, and at night I helped you with your stupid cause trying to set things right and it would be nice to come home to a clean house instead of a dumpster! I just cleaned the house two days ago and how could it be so messy! Your shirt," she picked the dirty button down shirt and threw it in his face, "goes to the laundry basket!"

Haymitch advanced towards her, slowly and almost predatory in nature, the shirt gripped tight in his hand.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" he asked through gritted teeth.

He's seen Effie angry before. He's seen her when she was stress, when she was irritated with him but she had never taken to throwing things at him.

"I'm just so tired!" she sank on the sofa with her hands covering her face. Through the space between her fingers, he caught her muffled voice, "I'm tired, Haymitch."

Her breath hitched.

_Is she crying?_

"Was it me who asked you to find employment here in Twelve? Did I put a knife to your throat and make you clean the house? No. You did it all on your own accord, so quit complaining, sweetheart."

"If I don't clean the house then who will? You? Unlikely. The day you voluntarily sweeps the floor or change the bed sheets is the day you pledge to be sober and I don't see that happening anytime soon! So yes, I have to do all these," she shouted, jumping to her feet in anger. "All I'm asking is that you put things back where you –"

His eyes flashed in anger and he was about to retort back when Effie dashed past him. She covered her mouth with her hand and seconds later, he heard her retching in the bathroom. He followed her. Haymitch found Effie with her forehead resting against the cool ceramic toilet bowl as she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

"What the hell?" he breathed out in disbelief, his whole body thrumming in dread of the news he was convinced he didn't want to hear. She turned around when she heard him.

"Go to the doctor, Eff. You're having some kind of stomach flu," he instructed. Haymitch left her sitting on the bathroom floor.

"Haymitch," she called out, running after him. "They did the blood test on me yesterday."

He stopped in his tracks but did not turn around.

"You lied to me," his voice was low and dangerous.

"I was afraid. I didn't know how – Haymitch, please, look at me," she pleaded.

He turned his body slightly and waited for her to speak. His muscles were taut and his lips had thinned out in impatience.

"I'm pregnant," she admitted, her voice was so soft but he flinched all the same. "Please say something."

"Did you do this on purpose?"

"No," she said affronted. "I still took those pills, Haymitch. I tried!"

"What the hell do you mean you tried?" he shouted back.

"I meant I tried! It's illegal everywhere and it's not easy to get those pills. I missed a few days – two or three at most - and it was supposed to be okay, Haymitch. I swear it. The risk of pregnancy wasn't that high – "

"Then why didn't you tell me? I could have – There is a fucking apothecary down at the corner, Trinket! You could have told me you couldn't get the pills," he pointed angrily to himself. "And I could have called Katniss' mother to ask her which herbs would help and you could have gone down the apothecary and get it!"

"I- I never thought of that," she spoke quietly, biting her lower lip to stop it from trembling.

"This was not supposed to happen! This wasn't part of the plan. I told you -  _I told you -_  the plan since the very beginning! You stay on the pill, we work on this law, it gets repeal then you and I will go our separate way but you've messed it up," he breathed heavily, running his fingers through his hair in distress. "It's like you're trying to condemn me."

Haymitch realized that he was being exceedingly cruel but he was too shock and unprepared for this. A child was never supposed to be in the equation. It would be easier and cleaner if it was just the two of them but now… He was supposed to be a father? How does one even do that? This was too much for him to handle and he felt so suffocated.

Effie had backed away from him, leaning against the wall, rubbing her hand up and down her arm. Her lips quivered and her eyes watered.

"Don't cry," Haymitch snapped at her. "All these years, after all your schedules and your perfect planning down to the minute details and you still managed to make a blunder out of a simple plan. It makes me wonder if there is anything you're even good at other than making yourself look pretty."

His cheek stung where Effie had struck him. The bracelet he had given her months ago hit his cheek with such a force and the ring on her finger felt cool against his skin.

" _Your_  plan remains. When this law ceased to exist, I will take my child and we will leave, don't worry about us," she hissed and walked out on him.

 


	8. Chapter 8

_"Myra!" he shouted, struggling to break free from the hands holding him back. "Myra! Break the window, get out of there!"_

_The fire leaped out from the shattered window next to her room. The heat was so ferocious the crowd staggered back in alarm. Smoke billowed out from the burning house, darkening the skies above them._

_"Haymitch!" she screamed, banging on the windows desperately. She sputtered and coughed and struggled for breath. Haymitch blinked back the tears and when he opened his eyes, she was gone, crawling on all fours to try and get out. She never made it out. Haymitch knew that. He's witnessed her death over and over again for years. His girl died in that burning house with her parents._

_Knowing how it will end, Haymitch willed himself to wake up. That was when he saw it. Effie stood in the middle of the house, cradling a bundle in her arms. He knew instinctively that it was his child. Haymitch began to panic._

_He screamed her name repeatedly; screamed until his voice was hoarse. The fire was licking her feet, spreading up the hem of her nightgown but Effie didn't seem to notice. She looked serene and calm as though she had long accepted her fate._

_"Please, come here," he pleaded. "I'm sorry. Effie, please. Please run."_

_She smiled at him sadly. "It wasn't part of the plan, Haymitch. I have to go now. I'm taking my son with me."_

_Effie turned and walked straight into the fire. He shouted and broke free of the grasp holding him back except he was at the arena now and he had just stepped off the platform before the countdown was completed. Haymitch exploded._

He scrambled up in bed, wiping the water off his face. Haymitch looked down at his hand, fearing that he was covered in blood. Effie stood over him holding an empty glass in her hand.

"I heard you downstairs. You were screaming," she said by way of explanation.

That was the first time Effie had spoken to him in two weeks. They had avoided each other after what happened and whenever Effie entered a room where he was, she would promptly turn away and walk out. The only time they were together in the same enclosed space was at night when they both went to sleep.

Haymitch was breathing heavily, the water dripping off his chin onto the linen. He turned his head towards her.

"Is it a boy?" he asked slightly out of breath, remembering his nightmare where Effie had told him it she was taking her son away.

"Who's a boy?" asked Effie, looking confused. "Oh, you mean… No. I don't know. It's too early to tell."

Effie disappeared into the bathroom, coming out again with a glass of water which she pressed into his hand.

"I heard you came back late last night," she told him, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Thought you were asleep?"

"I can't really sleep. I kept going to the bathroom. Um, being pregnant causes frequent urination," she explained to him. Her cheeks turned red slightly at the admission. "I'm going to the hospital for my pre-natal check-up in an hour. Will you be okay?"

Haymitch nodded. He didn't know anything about Effie going for appointments. In the two weeks they spent ignoring each other Effie occupied herself with her work at the factory, putting in extra hours just so she doesn't have to see Haymitch. As for him, he did what he does best - he drank. He drank so much Peeta had to carry him home on several occasions.

"What's wrong, Haymitch?" the boy asked one night as he half dragged, half supported Haymitch's dead weight.

"Nothing," he slurred.

Haymitch stopped working on trying to get the law repealed. When Plutarch called to ask for his progress, he had gone on a rant saying that it was too late and repeatedly told Plutarch to put the blame on Effie. When he woke up the next day, he remembered none of the conversation.

It took Plutarch's harsh words several days later for him to get his head straight and for him to pick up where he left off.

"Look, Haymitch, I don't know what happened between you and Effie, but you need stop being selfish. When we started this, it was with the aim of trying to save people in Panem from a loveless, terrible marriage; to stop the suicides, the domestic abuse and the abortions done in secret because the Government made it illegal to do so. Are you still in or not?"

A chill ran down his spine when he heard the word abortion and he nearly bolted out of the room to look for Effie. He wondered if she had considered that option since the way he reacted when he was told of her pregnancy was less than amicable. Haymitch may not want the pregnancy but he couldn't stomach it if Effie decided to abort the baby. Too many children had died because of him and another one on the list would drive him insane. At the same time, he can't have the baby. He's not prepared for it. He doesn't want to be a father. All he wanted after the whole Rebellion ended was to live his life on his own terms with his geese without Effie or the law as his master.

XxX

Haymitch hunched over the papers strewn over the kitchen island desperately trying to piece together the information he had thus far. Plutarch and Effie, with their connections in the Capitol had done some research on President Paylor and found out that under the law, she had married her childhood sweetheart.

 _How terribly convenient,_  Haymitch thought savagely.

This wasn't good for them since she would more likely than not had a happier marriage than the rest of the population. However, according to Plutarch, Paylor wasn't unreasonable - an observation Haymitch was more than willing to refute considering the existence of the marriage law - and Plutarch had wanted to bring their case to challenge the law before her.

"You sure that's a good move, Plutarch? She was in office when this law was passed," Haymitch pointed out.

"It was passed through the votes in the Council, not based on her decision alone," Plutarch countered. "We bring this to her and get her prepared. We've worked with her before Haymitch and we're doing this out of formality. We can't just spring this up on her or she would think we're planning another rebellion to throw her out of office. Besides, if she is in on this, we'll be stronger."

"You remember what I told you about Effie's plan? The clip of the interviews?" Haymitch prodded. Haymitch had talked to Peeta about it and the boy had agreed to help with the interviewing. The plan for the interviews was still in the early stages but he just wanted to confirm with Plutarch that the plan was still on the table.

"Yes, we air it if Paylor disagrees with us – as a last resort. Have you gotten Effie to type out the brief for Paylor?"

"No, not yet. I'll have it when I see you next week."

XxX

Focusing his efforts on the dissolution of the law had worked wonderfully in taking his mind off Effie and the child she was carrying. But he was at a standstill at the moment. He needed Effie's help writing out the report. It was something she was good at. She had dealt with all the necessary reports mentors had to file after each Games and she had done it for him.

After three weeks of their cold war, Haymitch tried to break the ice. He was home early that night and when he entered the house, he could smell something cooking in the kitchen.

Haymitch leaned languidly against the door frame, watching Effie as she moved about the kitchen preparing her ingredients. "How far along are you?"

She jumped slightly at the sound of his voice. "Why do you care?" she retorted, effectively shutting him down.

Haymitch growled in annoyance.

"Effie…," he called out her name hesitantly. She ignored him; resolutely keeping her back to him as she started the water boiling for her pasta. "I was… How I reacted, it was harsh and I was out of line."

Her hand hovered for a second in mid-air before resuming its track, reaching for the bottle of olive oil.

"We haven't spoken in three weeks, Eff."

"I hardly doubt you missed me during that period," she said. "And to be quite honest, I'm surprised you even noticed how long it's been. What is it that you want, Haymitch?"

He exhaled loudly. Effie was sharp and after twenty years of working with him, she knew him quite well.

"Ahh, seeing as how we're married," his hand came up to rub the back of his neck uncomfortably, "I think it would be healthy if we communicate –"

Effie turned towards him and pierced him with a sharp glare. "Haymitch, do us both a favour. Don't be so patronizing, drop the marriage counseling. We can have it during our first year anniversary."

Haymitch raised both eyebrows in surprise.  _Oh, she is still angry. Very angry, in fact._

"I need your help," Haymitch said, thinking that being truthful would gain him some advantage with her.

"Of course, you do," she said snidely, stirring the pot of spaghetti sauce she had cooking on the stove. "What is it?"

"I have enough information to –"

"Write a brief? Which you are incapable of doing so you need my help," she finished for him.

"Yeah, how do you know?" Haymitch said.

"I know what sort of work you're good at and –"

"No, I mean, how do you know I needed to write … Oh, you probably sat here," he gestured at the island in understanding, "and read through those papers."

"Mhmm."

"You could – You're still able to help with your …?" He gestured towards her stomach.

Effie narrowed her eyes a fraction, turning slightly to look over her shoulder. "I'm pregnant, not an invalid."

She carried her plate of food over to the kitchen counter and settled in to eat. Haymitch watched her expectantly before standing up to look at the empty pot.

"Oh, there's no food for me," he remarked, sounding a little crestfallen.

"You've got some nerve after all those terrible things you said to… Oh, never mind, it's hopeless talking to you. Take a fork, you can share my food," she offered.

Haymitch hesitated before doing as she said. He pulled a chair over and began eating from the same plate as Effie. They never said a word but during the entire meal, Haymitch kept trying to ask after her - about her appointment and her plans with the child. He never summoned up enough courage.

"There's something I've been meaning to show you," she pulled out a book out of her handbag that was slung over the back of the chair.

He read the title silently – "What to expect when you're expecting" – and his breath caught in his throat.  _She's going to discuss her pregnancy with me,_  the thought flashed briefly in his mind before it vanished when she pulled out the loose papers trapped within the pages of the book and handed it to him.

"The law was passed by a slight margin, and we were never told which council member voted for or which few who dissented, am I right? It was never published."

"Yeah," Haymitch nodded carefully, unsure where she was going with this.

"I know their decisions and now, you do too," she pointed to the papers in front of him. "I managed to get the information. And Haymitch? Those people who voted for the law, they're not subjected to it simply because they are over the age of 50 and fell outside the requirement of the law!"

Haymitch swore loudly and across from him, Effie's hand fluttered protectively over her stomach, as though the mere act of it could shield her unborn child from hearing such foul language.

"It's easy for them to make the decision when it doesn't personally affect them!" Haymitch said angrily.

"Exactly."

XxX

Haymitch paced the kitchen as Effie sat on the island, his papers strewn all around, typing out a brief report for President Paylor. Once in a while, he would bring the glass of whiskey in his hands up to his lips. He poured himself a drink every so often.

"When do you need this by?" she asked, biting the end of her pen. It was one of Effie's bad habit and one that Haymitch gleefully pointed out when he first discovered it.

"This weekend. I'm leaving for the Capitol on Sunday morning."

"And when were you planning on telling me?"

"I – We weren't talking," Haymitch said simply. "Would you like to come with me?"

He didn't really want to bring her along but he thought it would be better to ask, an olive branch.

"No," she said tersely.

"Fine. Is there anything you need from - "

"Open the window, Haymitch. The noxious vapour from your alcohol isn't helping my stomach. I've been feeling nauseated the whole day but with you drinking, it's just… Open the window, please."

He did as he was asked, opening the kitchen window wide open and allowing the fresh air outside to diffuse inside the house. Haymitch tipped his glass back and drank the last vestige of whiskey before washing the glass and keeping the whiskey bottle away.

He didn't see Effie's eyes flickered away from her work to look at him or the slight curling of her lips. There was a hint of a smile on her face as she watched her husband put away his liquor without a fight just because she couldn't stand the smell in her current state.

When he turned around, Effie was looking down at the papers, deep in concentration. He rested against the kitchen counter with his arms folded and observed her. It's difficult to reconcile the fact that the same woman he's known for nearly two decades was now carrying a life inside of her. A life she would one day take away from him once the law was repealed.

 


	9. Chapter 9

Haymitch was up early that morning. He fed his geese, poured a generous amount of liquor into a steaming cup of tea for himself and left the remaining tea in the pot for Effie for when she wakes up. It was odd to be awake before her and he pinned the slight change in habit on her pregnancy.

He swiped the brief Effie had completed and made his way to the library. Checking the time, he noted that the library would only be opened in ten minutes so he took his time walking over.

From the distance, he could see Emily, District Twelve's only librarian and resident bookworm unlocking the library's front door. He allowed her ten minutes to settle down before he strode in and headed straight to the check-out counter.

"Morning, Emily," he greeted. "This has to be sent over to Plutarch Heavensbee's office. So, if you don't mind, I need the fax machine."

"Mr. Abernathy, you know where the machine is. You've been receiving documents from the same fax machine for the past weeks," the bespectacled girl told him impatiently. She already had a book opened in front of her. "Please just help yourself."

He narrowed his gray eyes at the girl. For such a small, vulnerable looking person, Emily had very little patience.

"Just trying to be polite," Haymitch said over his shoulders as he walked over to the where the machine was located.

"Effie must have rubbed off on me," he muttered as he waited for all the pages to be sent through. On his way out the library, he passed by the check-out counter and left some coins for using the facsimile machine. He waved Emily off when she wanted to issue a receipt.

"Maybe you could claim back from the Council or the Capitol for all the money you spent sending and receiving documents once you've won," Emily joked, handing him the receipt.

Satisfied that he's completed what needed to be done, Haymitch walked back into town. It was still rather early when he left the library and that being a weekend meant that some of the shops open slightly late for business.

Haymitch lingered by one of the shops until the owner, a frail looking old man shuffled to the front door and flipped over the closed sign.

"Don't remember you ever buying anything from me before, Haymitch," the old man commented. "You were always down with Ripper; bless her soul."

"This isn't for me," Haymitch smiled, bringing the packets of biscuits and crackers to the counter for him to ring up.

"Ah," the shop owner nodded knowingly. "Of course, now that you're married, you have responsibilities, eh? Buying things for the missus, I assume?"

Haymitch gave a curt nod. He drummed his fingers on the counter impatiently as the old man slowly packed his items. "Sorry," Haymitch muttered when he received a disapproving glare.

The front door was still locked when Haymitch reached his house. He glanced down at his wrist watch and frowned slightly. Usually, by this hour, Effie would be out and about humming to herself as she tended to her garden. It was something she usually did on a Saturday morning now that she had finally settled down on a hobby she's happy with.

Depositing the paper bag on the kitchen counter, Haymitch climbed the stairs up to the bedroom. The room was empty. The bed was still unmade and the covers were thrown back with one of the pillows lying on the floor.

"Eff?" he called out. "Eff – what the – what are you doing on the bathroom floor?"

"Go away," she said weakly. Her head was resting on the edge of the toilet seat pillowed by her arm. The other was clutching a wet towel. She looked quite pitiful. The role reversal was not lost on him and Haymitch quelled the urge to laugh.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Not now, Haymitch. Leave me, please."

"Get up, Eff, come on," he held out his hand for her.

"I can't. I tried. But each time I move I get dizzy and nauseated. I feel I should just stay here in case I throw up."

"That's your strategy?" he chortled. "To sit here the entire day?"

"You have something better?"

"How do you take your tea?" Haymitch asked. "Two sugars, yes?"

Effie nodded into her arm, not even bothering to look at him. Haymitch returned a few minutes later balancing a cup of tea and a plate of dry crackers with a blob of honey at the side. He kneeled next to her on the bathroom floor.

"I've got you tea. Drink it," he ordered. "There are crackers, too. Bought them from town on my way home. I read somewhere that it'll help to settle the stomach."

She cracked her eyes open and looked at Haymitch in astonishment. Slowly and almost hesitantly, Effie reached out to take one of the crackers from the plate.

"Where did you learn about the crackers?" she asked as she nibbled on them.

Haymitch's knees were beginning to ache so he flopped down on the bathroom floor. He leaned against the bath tub with his legs stretched out in front of him.

"From one of your pregnancy pamphlets lying on the coffee table," he answered. "Where did those pamphlets came from anyway?"

"I took some from the clinic when I went for my check-up. The rest was from the Government. They gave me a pregnancy package once they found out through the blood screening that I was pregnant. Apparently every pregnant woman receives one by the first month of their pregnancy."

"So you're four weeks into –"

"No," Effie shook her head and scooted over to where Haymitch was. Settling next to him, she took the cup of tea in his hand and blew out the surface of the cup before tentatively sipping the hot beverage. "Nearing the sixth."

"Did you read those pamphlets, Eff? One of them had a pregnancy tip about morning sickness," Haymitch queried.

"Didn't see that one," she said, dabbing the wet cloth on her face. "I feel so overwhelmed, Haymitch. There are so many things to read, to know and to take note off."

"It looks very informative to me. I saw stuffs about maintaining a healthy pregnancy, post-natal care and vitamins – are you taking vitamins?"

Effie smiled into her cup. She wondered if it was a good sign that Haymitch actually bothered to read through those brochures. There was a sudden feeling of warmth spreading through her at the possibility of Haymitch showing a tiny bit of interest in her pregnancy. How else could she explain him taking the initiative to buy crackers for her knowing that it would help?

There had been several changes in Haymitch that she noticed. All of them subtle but they were there, nonetheless. Things he did that showed he had maybe begun to accept the fact that she was pregnant.

She was not asking for him love her but this child was his, too and she wanted him to accept and at least care for the child. She knew what she said to him that day when she told him the news of her pregnancy but she was angry and he had been angry, and the words that they had exchanged were meant to hurt the other party more than anything.

Effie had no idea how long this law would last and Haymitch would be going off to the Capitol the next day to try his case. But with what little time she has between now and the law being dissolved, she vowed to at least attempt to instill enough care in Haymitch for the life growing inside her so that even when the law was repealed, he would still want to be a part of their child's life. Effie had no delusion of a happy family but if Haymitch could visit his child a few times in a month post marriage law, it would be enough for her.

"There was something I found quite worrying," Haymitch said suddenly. He dipped his little finger into the blob of honey on the plate. "They mentioned pregnancy mood swings. Are you going to be crying and throwing a bitch fit or something?"

"I don't know," she shrugged. "It's not like I've been pregnant before. It must be true if it's in the pamphlet and I read the same in my book, too. Why? Are you planning an escape strategy when I lose my head?"

"Yes," he replied, lips twitching upward in amusement. Haymitch licked the honey off his finger, dipped it again and held it out for Effie to lick it off. "I think if you have something sweet, it'll help with the queasiness."

XxX

That evening, with Effie out of the house on a shopping trip with a reluctant Katniss, Haymitch made his way over to Peeta's house. Peeta looked surprised to see the older man standing on his front porch but welcomed him in nonetheless.

"To what do I owe this pleasure?" Peeta grinned. "Is it about the interview?"

"Nah," Haymitch shook his head. "Not yet. I'm going to the Capitol tomorrow so we'll see how it goes with Paylor."

"Alright, so…"

"So…" Haymitch removed a dry wooden palette from the sofa and sat down, his eyes roaming the cluttered living room. After months of living with Effie, he wasn't used to being in a room that wasn't neat and tidy. "Need a favour. If it's not too much for you, keep an eye out for Effie while I'm gone, will you?"

Peeta walked over with a bottle of beer and handed it to Haymitch who looked at it in distaste. "Something wrong with Effie?"

"Don't you have something stronger?" he asked instead. "Whiskey or something?"

"Nope. So, what about Effie?" Peeta prodded.

"Don't tell me that woman didn't tell you. If she hasn't told you personally, she sure as hell would have informed Katniss who would have told you."

Peeta smiled knowingly. "A child on the way, yes? Congratulations, Haymitch."

Haymitch grunted in response and averted his gaze uncomfortably when Peeta trained his eyes on him.

"I get this feeling that you're not thrilled. I remembered you telling us at the bakery, Haymitch," Peeta said in that quiet soothing voice Panem fell in love with. "You wanted to repeal the law and avoid having to sire any children, and correct me if I'm wrong, but I think Effie being pregnant was the reason why you've been drunk at the bar for the past week, right?"

Haymitch shrugged not bothering to affirm Peeta's suspicion.

"Effie's upset. She was here a few times looking terribly lost and miserable. But she's Effie – after a few days, she gathered herself up and told us she was done moping and would rather focus her energy on the baby."

Haymitch was silent. He stared at the patterns on the rug, his fingers absent-mindedly shredding the label on the beer bottle.

"I know the circumstances of your marriage were less than ideal. It's no use being angry with her, it's happened. I think it's a blessing."

"Of course, you do. You like kids," Haymitch scoffed. "What do I even know about those brats? All I know is that they all always end up dead."

"Not all," Peeta said. "You got me and Katniss out. That's something."

For a long while, the only sound came from the oven whirring in the kitchen. The smell of something baking permeated through the air and Haymitch's stomach grumbled; reminding him that he had not had anything to eat since morning.

"You know what your problem is?" Peeta asked with an edge on his voice. "You're stuck in the Games. Everyone else is trying to move on but you're still there. I'm not saying Katniss and I had an easy time forgetting the Games. It's always in our mind but at least we're trying, Haymitch. You have a chance, a real shot at a decent life – a wife, a kid, a family of your own - and you're going to throw it away. Effie may not be perfect but she is a wonderful person, you know. She could be intense at times with her manners and her schedules but that's who she is and she's been doing a damn fine job looking after you since you married her. Your house is clean, you're wearing clean shirts, and you're eating properly. Seriously Haymitch, look at me and tell me she's made your life a lot worse."

Haymitch looked up when Peeta challenged him. He stared at the boy.

"I don't see how being stuck in a marriage with me is good for her. I can never be the husband she wants me to be."

"No, Haymitch. My question is – has she made your life worst?"

"Yes," he answered far too quickly. Peeta's blue eyes turned icy. Haymitch blinked and looked away. "A kid, Peeta. My whole life will turn inside out."

Peeta shook his head.

"Give her a chance, Haymitch. It's difficult to love you when you hate yourself so much."

 _Love?_  He thought derisively.

"I can never love her. She's … She's Effie. She's not –"

"Not your girl?" Peeta queried. "She's dead, Haymitch. She's a ghost. You're holding on to something familiar because Effie scares you."

"I didn't come here for a lecture," Haymitch said crossly, putting his half-finished drink on the table rather forcefully. "Effie isn't well; morning sickness. Just… Look out for her while I'm away and call me if there's anything."

He stood up and turned towards the door.

"You know, Haymitch, I think the fact that you came all the way here to ask me that favour says a lot about you - that maybe just a tiny part of you cares about Effie and your child."

He didn't need to look at Peeta to know the boy was smiling to himself. He could hear it in Peeta's words.

"And feed my geese!" He said before slamming the door in his wake.

XxX

The lights streamed through the bedroom and onto the bed where Haymitch's sleeping form grumbled before pulling the covers up his head. Effie was already dressed and frustrated. She had been trying to wake him up for the past ten minutes and even pulling the curtains apart to let the lights in did nothing to help her plight. She really did not want to douse him with water – the bed sheets had just been changed two days ago!

"Wake up or you'll miss your train. If we're still married, it's cause you can't wake up! Haymitch! You have a law to dissolve!" she shook his arm roughly.

He sat up groggily. Finally.

"Get dress, Haymitch. I don't have time for this."

Effie paced the bedroom, chewing on her dry crackers silently as she waited for Haymitch to get dressed.

"Not that shirt! You can't appear before the President in that."

Haymitch frowned but said nothing. The day before Effie had been in a good mood -proudly telling him that she managed to help Katniss purchase a few maternity clothes. The wind had changed direction and Effie seemed agitated and edgy today.

"No, no," she shook her head in disapproval. "Take that shirt off. Wear the blue shirt; the one I've ironed for you and pair with that chino pants. Blue is a calming colour and that is the impression you want to give the President when you're in her company. Get her to relax and listen to you."

"Whatever you say, my queen," Haymitch muttered sarcastically, trying hard not to tell her to shut up.

He barely had enough time to butter his toast before Effie ushered him out of the house. "What is your hurry, woman? You're not even coming with me to the Capitol!"

"I'm not," she answered, locking the front door in a hurry, "but I have some shopping to do. I need to restock the kitchen and get nutritious food for myself and my child."

Haymitch stopped chewing his toast. It was the way she said "my child" that made him feel as though someone had gutted his stomach. Not their child or his child, but hers alone. Could he really blame her? He had made it exceptionally clear that he never wanted it when he told her she had messed up his plans, that a child was never part of it.

He turned around and stomped off.

"Haymitch?" she called out shrilly. "Wait for me! We can walk together!"

He ignored her completely and continued walking

"Haymitch!"

"I'll see you when I'm back on Tuesday!" he shouted.

Haymitch stalked off angrily, leaving Effie standing alone on the sidewalk in confusion.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, i'm going for vacation so the next chapter will only be on Sunday. :)


	10. Chapter 10

** Chapter Ten **

All throughout his train ride to the Capitol, Effie's  _"my child"_ echoed in his mind. He tried to shake it off, convince himself that she didn't mean anything by it and repeatedly told himself that he shouldn't have just walked away from Effie that way but the unsettling feeling nagged at him. It bothered him greatly that he had been excluded.

His preoccupation of what transpired between him and Effie made the journey to the Capitol seem much shorter than usual. Haymitch arrived at the Capitol on Monday morning, his eyes searching the crowd for his beefy friend.

"Mr Abernathy?" the small woman in black square rimmed glasses called out as she approached him.

"Yeah, who's asking?"

"Adria Stone," she extended her hand, "from Plutarch Heavenbee's office."

"You're his….?

"Secretary."

Haymitch slung his duffel bag over his shoulders and looked at the woman who was blinking her eyes up at him. She was dressed in dark green cotton shirt tucked neatly into a black tight pencil skirt. Her long auburn hair was tied in a ponytail. She was a pretty sight and Haymitch wondered if Fulvia ever felt threatened by the woman's presence in Plutarch's office.

"Couldn't come and get him myself now, could he?"

"Mr. Heavensbee is occupied at the moment. He had just returned from District Three with Mrs. Heavensbee late last night," she explained. "He will be joining you shortly. In the meantime, he has instructed me to keep you company."

"Keep me – No, I think I'm fine," Haymitch replied, gently pushing away her hand that was resting on his arm.

"Are you sure?" he brows crinkled, looking at Haymitch intently. "My instructions were clear and if you turned up drunk it will be on me."

Haymitch pinned her with a glare. "I'm sure, yeah. Why don't you go back to your office and –"

"Where do you plan on going in the meantime? It's best if I stick around."

"I don't think so," Haymitch said brusquely, stepping away from her.

"Haymitch," she called as she stood in front of him. "I was told to make sure that you remain sober for your meeting with the President since Ms. Trinket isn't here to keep an eye out on you. How about we wait for Mr. Heavensbee at the coffee shop? Or if you would rather be doing something else, I'm sure we could work -"

Her persistence annoyed him. He would have believed that she was genuinely concerned about doing her job if she had not casually touched his arm or stood so close to him like she was now. The smell of her perfume wafted up and Haymitch wrinkled his nose. It was bold and much too strong for his liking. Haymitch was beginning to get headache just from the scent. He much rather preferred the rich smell of Effie's vanilla and berries – it was pleasant and subtle.

His eyes flickered to the wedding ring on her fourth finger as she brought her hand up to twist a lock of her hair. He felt his own ring sitting heavily on his finger, a reminder of who he had just left behind in District Twelve.

"No," Haymitch shook his head, stepping back from her once again, "I'm going to Effie's apartment. Call me when Plutarch is ready to meet me."

He was about to turn away when he added, "Effie's my wife in case you missed out that fact and I noticed that you're married."

Her laughter made him pause in his track and when he turned to look at her, he saw her eyes glittering in amusement as she shook her head in disbelief.

"I thought since this was your idea," she cocked her head to the side, "you would have been like one of those men."

"What was that?"

"Trying to get the law repealed," she said pointedly. "I personally thought that since you're so eager to end your marriage, it must have been shaky to begin with. I was wrong then. I never took you for the devoted, loyal husband."

Haymitch raised an eyebrow

"Unless you're doing this for her?" Adria Stone queried before shaking her head regretfully, her voice dropping a notch. "I'm sorry it's not my place to ask. It's just that I don't think there are many people like you nowadays. Those who were forced to get married - in most cases - they're unhappy," she explained, "and they turn to others for some sort of comfort or…just some sort of thrill to forget their marriage for a little while."

"People like you?" Haymitch asked, ignoring her earlier question. "You thought it would be fun to see if you could make me sleep with you."

She shrugged again and fell in step next to him. "Like I said, I thought you would welcome a distraction. No man who truly loves his wife will try to get the law repeal, would they? I must say, if word gets out, you will be a hero to many of the men and women who has been tied down unwillingly."

Haymitch kept silent at the insinuation that he did not love Effie. It was true, he supposed. He had told Peeta he couldn't love her.

"And I'm not the only one, you know? There are others like that in Panem."

That snapped his attention back to the woman next to him. "Really?" he asked, intrigued.

He had never considered this particular social impact before - the ramifications the marriage law had on spousal infidelity – and hurriedly jotted the point down in a notebook Effie had gotten for him.

"I apologise, Haymitch. It makes it all very embarrassing now. I just thought … You know, that we could have a bit of fun but…," she laughed awkwardly, "well, Plutarch will be at the Council House to meet the President at noon. Please don't be late."

XxX

Effie's apartment was small and neat. It has one bedroom, a guest bedroom, and a living room with an adjoining kitchen. It was warm, cozy and beautifully decorated. One could sense the effort Effie had put into decorating the house the moment they step foot in it.

Effie and her sister, Eirene Trinket had planned to live together and when her sister had first joined the Games years ago, she had taken Effie to look at several houses. They both fell in love with this apartment but Eirene Trinket took her own life before they could purchase it. Nevertheless, a few years after Eirene's death, when she had enough finances, Effie bought the apartment. She moved in and never once had the intention to sell it off even when she married Haymitch and moved out to District Twelve.

Haymitch was glad that she chose to keep it since he did not have to stay over at Plutarch's place or rent a room at one of the hotels now that he was here.

Dropping his bag on the floor by the plush sofa in the living room, Haymitch shuffled to the adjoining kitchen in search for alcohol. He had been over her place on several occasions when they had worked closely together during the Rebellion prior to her capture and was familiar with where Effie kept her things. The spare bedroom where he usually slept in when the night had gotten too late was just as he remembered it. The single size bed was pushed against the wall although the bed sheets had been stripped off the mattress. The curtain was closed and Haymitch parted it in the middle to look out of the window down at the busy streets below.

He pressed his forehead against the cool glass pane as Adria Stone's words replayed itself in his mind -  _"Unless you're doing this for her?"_

He was certain that when he started out in trying to end the law, he was doing it for himself. He had not wanted to be married, having long gave up on that dream, and he certainly did not want to be married to Effie. But he remembered telling Plutarch that Effie should have her life, too. After all that she had been through with her sister's death, rendering her assistance to the Rebellion and having to pay for it, Effie didn't deserve to be stuck in a lifetime with a bitter man like him. She could have so much more if she was free.

When she told him she was pregnant and he had accused her of condemning him, he had not really meant it. Haymitch had been caught off guard and did not know how to react to the news or what he should be feeling about his impending fatherhood. He had reflexively lashed out because at that point of time, the only thing that was apparent and clear to him was Effie messing with his plans.  _His plans -_  that was what Effie had hissed at him after she had slapped him. It was his plan; a plan he had thought off without consulting Effie, a plan he thought would suit them both. But the game had changed and that plan was no longer viable.

He had several weeks to internalize the news and he was beginning to doubt himself.  _Would it be right to let her go?_

He had debated the questions with himself ad nauseam during the weeks that he and Effie weren't talking, and as Plutarch had said, it wasn't about Effie and him anymore. There are other people out there who are suffering from the law – the group of people who did not marry a person of their choice. They had no prospects so their names had been chosen at random from a pool and paired off with someone from the opposite sex with the sole purpose of procreating. The only difference Haymitch saw this law had from the Games was that the law sought to create life, the Games ended it. But human choices were absent in both.

Haymitch knew what he should do but it did nothing to lessen the doubt he himself had planted in his mind. He would go through with trying to get the law repealed and when the time came for either of them to go their separate ways - he would leave the choice to Effie. Despite everything that he had said to her while he was angry, that child is a part of him and therefore part of his responsibility.

XxX

"Haymitch, Plutarch," Paylor extended her hand, "nice to see you both again. Please have a seat."

Haymitch gave a brief nod and settled down on the uncomfortable sofa across from the President. Since he did not hold an office in the new government, Haymitch was a special case to be granted an audience with the President. His role in the Rebellion and the fact that Paylor knew him personally lend a hand in being allowed in to the President's office.

"I assume you know why we're here," Haymitch said, foregoing all small talks. Plutarch frowned slightly.

Paylor steepled her fingers together and looked at each of them in turn. "Yes. I received your report yesterday afternoon."

"You understand where we're coming from, then, Mdm President?" Plutarch asked.

"I do. And I thank you for your concern and the efforts that had gone into this," she looked down at the papers in front of her and smiled. "Seems like a lot of research had been done."

"You have to put an end to this," Haymitch implored. "There are too many problems. Not to mention the indication of complete social breakdown. If this isn't stop now, it will only get worse."

"I understand, Haymitch," she said, looking at Haymitch in earnest.

Haymitch doubted she understood at all from the way she was sitting on her chair looking at them calmly. It was not the reaction Haymitch had in mind. He expected her to at least be affronted by what they had discovered and at the injustice her government had thrown the people in.

"I'm sensing a 'but' here, Paylor," Haymitch replied impatiently. Under the table, Plutarch kicked his leg as a warning.

"The truth remains that our populations are dwindling."

Haymitch exhaled. "Did you read that brief thoroughly? You are losing citizens because of this law! Suicides and exiled – I don't see how that's helping."

"That is true, but our statistics shows that if each married couple has at least two children or more, our population will be sustainable over time and when we've reached that stage, Haymitch, the law will be obsolete and it  _will_ be dissolved."

"When will that be by your estimation?" Plutarch asked as he glanced at Haymitch.

"The law has only been in effect for eight months, Plutarch. There hasn't been a single birth yet out of this law," Paylor pointed out. She turned then towards Haymitch with a kind smile on her face. "I heard your wife's pregnant. With a child on the way, Haymitch, surely it will be fool-hardy to have this law repealed and lose your family? Our data showed that like yourself and Ms. Trinket, there are many expecting couples in Panem. The law seemed to be doing its job."

He sucked in a breath. "Don't turn this on me."

"All I'm saying is that there will be complications if this law ceased to exist. Families will be broken apart; couples separating while the wife is pregnant. You understand?"

"And all I'm saying," Haymitch hissed as he leaned forward, "is that there are far worse complications if this debacle were to continue. I suggest you read that brief again and if that is not enough to convince you, I can get more information for you."

Paylor shifted her gaze down and leaned back in her seat. "It's not up to me. I will bring this before the Council at the next meeting and I will get back to you. You have to allow the law time to come into fruition. Let the first batch of babies be born and the birth rates speak for itself. You'll see then, that I am not wrong."

Haymitch's lips thinned in suppressed anger and his nostrils flare. "What will it take to make you see reasons here, Paylor? There are thousands out there who - "

"Thank you, Mdm President. I shall wait for your call," Plutarch interrupted Haymitch's rant before dragging him out of office.

Haymitch pulled his hand away from Plutarch in frustration and stomped off the corridor.

"Haymitch," Plutarch ran after him breathlessly. He squeezed his large frame into the lift before Haymitch could shut the door on him. "You need to maintain your composure. You can't just blow up like that! If this doesn't get through, we'll try again. We'll wear them down."

"Fine," Haymitch said tersely.

"And you're going to be a father?" Plutarch grinned. "That is good news, indeed! Haymitch, my friend, congratulations! I'm sure even if this law gets repealed, you and Effie will work things out where your child is concern."

_Will we?_

Haymitch didn't bother to answer. His mood was darkening and all he wanted was to return to the comfort of his home and have a drink. And if he was honest, he wanted to see Effie and tell her what happened. He didn't know why but he just wanted to let his frustration out. Effie's reaction would be predictable and familiar to him and it was something he needed.

XxX

At Effie's apartment, Haymitch lounged on the sofa thinking about the meeting with Paylor that afternoon. Plutarch had assured him that if this fails, they could appeal before the Council again. Never one to run out of optimism, Plutarch was quick to point out that their options were not limited – there are other ways to go about dealing with the law.

His hand clumsily searched for the liquor he had placed on the floor and was about to bring it up to his lips when the phone rang loudly in the empty house. Grumbling loudly, Haymitch pushed himself up and snatched the phone of its hook.

"Plutarch," he yawned tiredly into the phone, "I'm busy and I don't want to talk about the meeting."

"Haymitch? It's Effie!"

"Oh, you," his voiced perked up slightly. "I didn't know the phone was working. Why did you not cut off the phone line when you moved out?"

"Why should I? The electricity is still running, I didn't cut that off, be thankful for that."

He rolled his eyes and flopped back down on the sofa. "Why'd you call, Eff?"

"I just wanted to check in," she replied. "Make sure everything's okay."

"I'm at your apartment. Everything looks okay. Nobody broke in to rob you," he reported although he knew that wasn't the purpose of her call.

"Well that's lovely," she said airily. "Have you had dinner?"

"No."

It was odd having someone asking after him and looking after his well-being. Back when they were merely colleagues, Effie cared for him enough to make sure he was where he was supposed to be and that he wasn't too drunk to shame District Twelve but this was new to him.

"You should eat something, Haymitch. There's an eatery down at the corner."

"Maybe later," Haymitch said knowing it will put her at ease. He had no intention whatsoever to leave the house. He was tired and too frustrated with the meeting to even bother about dinner.

"How was the meeting?"

"Don't want to talk about it now," he mumbled. "Later, when I get home."

"Haymitch, I want to go to District Four to visit Annie. I'm bored here in Twelve," Effie announced suddenly.

"You're bored? Don't you have to go to work or something?" Haymitch sat up, surprised. "You're always busy. What do you mean you're bored?"

"Well, I've been given a few days off under the doctor's recommendation - I feel tired lately," she informed him.

"Is that normal? To feel tired? And when did you see the doctor?"

"Yes, but I'm not sure if it's supposed to be this early in the pregnancy," she answered. "Katniss took me to the clinic this morning when I felt dizzy."

"Effie…" he breathed out. "That doesn't sound good."

"Oh, it's nothing, Haymitch. The doctor say to just rest and it'll be fine. So can I go and visit, Annie?"

"You're not really askin' for my permission, are you?" he asked incredulously. He knew Effie well. She was her own person and if she wanted to do something, she would do it.

"No, I'm just trying to be polite," she huffed, "and take your opinion into consideration. That's what married people do."

Haymitch chuckled as he adjusted the phone he was cradling on his shoulder. "I don't think it's wise for you to go to District Four. I don't always follow the doctor's advice when they told me to stop drinking but even I know that when you're given a few days off, you're supposed to rest - not hop on the train for a half day journey to District Four."

"But – "

"Effie, you can do whatever you want if the circumstances were different but last I checked, you were pregnant and shouldn't you be thinkin' 'bout our child?"

There was a long stretched of silence on the phone before Effie spoke up, "say that again."

"Say what?"

"That thing – what you just said to me."

"That thing what?" he frowned. "Listen, Eff, I'll be home tomorrow night. I'll see you, then, alright? I'm exhausted and before you nag at me for falling asleep on you on the phone, I'm going to hang up now."

"Okay, goodnight," Effie replied automatically.

Back in District Twelve, she sat staring at the phone in a daze after Haymitch ended their conversation. She forgot all about going to District Four or her current state of boredom from being home alone.

"Our child," she breathed out, repeating Haymitch's word earlier. Effie stopped to consider if Haymitch even realized what he had said but from the way the conversation went, she assumed that he had said it unconsciously. "He said you're his child, sweetheart."

Effie had a smile on her face as she rubbed her stomach absentmindedly. But just as soon as the happiness sets in, it was gone when she remembered exactly the reason why Haymitch was at the Capitol in the first place.


	11. Chapter 11

Armed with a renewed energy and the acceptance that the child Effie was carrying was part of his responsibility, Haymitch began to plan. He knew what he wanted to do and before he went to sleep that night, he placed a call to Plutarch asking for a favour.

As agreed, Plutarch was waiting for him in his car at slightly over ten the next morning. Haymitch locked Effie's apartment and slung his duffel bag over the shoulder, glad to finally be heading home again after he completed his last errand.

Plutarch drove Haymitch to the bank at the Capitol's City Centre just as Haymitch had asked him to the night before.

"Why do you need to go to the bank?"

"Can't you just drive me there without asking a million questions on the way?"

Plutarch made small talk, occasionally pointing out to the high rise buildings that had been reconstructed following the bombing of the Capitol. Haymitch nodded, pretending to be interested in what he had to say.

"I'll drop you off here," Plutarch said, "too many cars by the bank's entrance. It's a hassle."

"That's fine. Thanks, I'll see you soon."

"I'll keep you posted about the outcome," Plutarch said before driving off to his office.

Panem National Bank was one of the largest bank in the country and the first bank Haymitch thought off when he came up with his plan. The bank occupied a two story building in the middle of the bustling City Centre. When he pushed open the double brass door, a security guard nodded politely at him. Haymitch returned the gesture and made his way into the bank, his eyes scanning the multiple queues that had formed so early on a Tuesday morning.

An officer of the bank approached him and after finding out the purpose of Haymitch's visit, he was directed to a small office to speak to a financial consultant. Haymitch explained what he needed and the consultant smiled knowingly at him explaining that Haymitch wasn't the first person with the same intention in mind since the marriage law was passed.

He had the necessary documents filled up, signed and witnessed. Shaking the consultant's hand, Haymitch thanked the young man and left the bank feeling satisfied and slightly proud of himself.

Haymitch had no plan whatsoever of informing Effie about what transpired at the bank. She did not need to know yet. She would be told in time to come even though he wasn't doing this for her. He did it for the child but Effie would need to assist him with it.

Despite the anger he felt initially at Effie's pregnancy, Haymitch was not heartless. It was true that he would not stop fighting the law but he would be damned before he allow his own child to suffer should anything happen between him and Effie in the future.

He had accepted the fact that he would be a terrible father, having no father figure with which to guide his behavior. He had no faith in himself to raise a child and at the same time, Haymitch was well aware that he might never have the chance to be a father to the child once Effie take his child away upon the dissolution of the law.

There was however, a way he could contribute to the child's welfare and play a small role in the baby's upbringing. Haymitch wasn't going to let it pass.

XxX

Haymitch passed his time on the train occasionally drinking and walking up and down the length of the corridor. He thought about the meeting with Paylor and his encounter with Adria Stone. Looking back, he was quite surprise with himself where the pretty secretary was concerned. He was never opposed to the occasional one night stand and during his stint as a mentor, he was sure that some of the Capitol women who had thrown themselves at him were married.

It was not like he cared about Effie, he thought to himself, but something had stopped him from partaking in such frivolous activity. Did marriage change him? Haymitch frowned at the very idea. It seems unlikely but that doesn't explain why he had spurned Stone. Perhaps he did it out of respect for Effie.

The moon was out in the black skies, the street lamp was glowing orange, lighting up the streets sufficiently enough and the crickets were chirping in the background by the time Haymitch arrived at District Twelve.

The walk home from the train station to Victor's Village took less than ten minutes of his time, thankfully. He was exhausted and all he wanted to do was collapse on his bed. Haymitch was never fond of train rides to and fro the Capitol. It was too tedious and tiresome.

Opening the door to his house, he saw Effie on the sofa painting her nails. She jumped as he dropped his bag on the floor with a loud thud, spilling the bottle of red nail polish on the coffee table.

"Goodness, Haymitch, you gave me a fright! Learn to knock and announce your presence," she reprimanded him.

"Learn to lock the front door when I'm not around," he retorted. "A criminal isn't going to give you the courtesy of announcing his presence."

"So you're a criminal by that logic," Effie replied smartly as she waited for the nail polish to dry.

"I'm the only unfortunate man to come home after two days of being away and get accused of being a criminal," Haymitch mumbled as he climbed the stairs to the upper story of their house. He could hear Effie chuckling in the background.

Without bothering to change his clothes, Haymitch threw himself on the bed and soon fell asleep without the aid of his alcohol.

It felt like he had just closed his eyes for a minute or two when he heard Effie's voice calling out to him.

"Haymitch," Effie roused him quietly, running her fingers through his hair. "Haymitch, move over. You've taken all the space on the bed."

"I like it when you do that," he mumbled tiredly as he rolled over to make space for Effie.

Effie smiled to herself when she heard what Haymitch said. It was times like this when he was slightly disoriented and not fully aware of his surroundings that Haymitch was capable of showing a softer side of him and say things he wouldn't normally say. It was a pity, really.

"You should trim your hair a little, it's getting too long," Effie remarked. Her fingers tugged the ends of the hairs that had begun to curl outwards where it hung slightly above his shoulders.

She slid under the covers and propped herself on the headboard, one hand still running through Haymitch's hair in a soothing, rhythmic manner as he hovered between sleep and consciousness.

"How was the meeting with the President?"

"Not good," he mumbled. "Plutarch sends his regards; he said congratulations."

"Oh, that's sweet of him. Remind me to call him tomorrow."

Haymitch nodded absentmindedly, not really aware as to what he was agreeing to. There was a pressing issue at the back of his mind. Something he needed to get off his chest and inform Effie.

"Eff?" he blinked blearily at her. Haymitch squinted slightly as he tried to make out her outline in the dark room. "Adria Stone told me," he yawned, "that most marriages are open lately."

Her hand stilled its movement but Haymitch didn't realize it, determined to tell her everything before he fell asleep. "She said people do it all the time," he yawned again, loudly this time. "She tried to sleep with me, you know."

"Who is Adria Stone?" Effie queried.

Every nerve on her body was on attention. Every warning bell in her head had gone off. She had no idea what Haymitch meant when he told her about the open marriages.  _Does he want a marriage like that?_

Effie didn't know who Adria Stone was – her name didn't sound familiar at all – or the nature of Haymitch's relationship to her. She began to worry needlessly.

"Haymitch?" she called out for him when she didn't receive a reply to her question.

Haymitch had fallen asleep before he could give Effie a proper explanation. Effie hated not knowing and it was enough to put her on edge. She could feel the anxiety growing inside of her and she detested the feeling.

Effie knew that Haymitch had never wanted her; that she was never part of his plans but she never thought that he would have found a replacement so quickly. Her imagination had gone down the dark path and Effie tried to imagine Haymitch with another woman at the Capitol. She had seen him with a few women before but that was before they were married. Her eyes sting at the thought of being so replaceable and unwanted. Effie retracted her hand from Haymitch's hair and turned her back towards the sleeping Haymitch. It was a few hours before she finally fell asleep.

The only consolation she afforded herself that night before falling into a restless sleep was the firm knowledge that Haymitch wanted the law to end so badly because he wanted his life back. He didn't fight for its abolishment just so he could get rid of her for another woman. Haymitch wasn't like that, she was certain of that fact at least.

She did not have to worry. Effie didn't have to compete with another woman. If there was ever a competition, it was with the ghost of his lover. How was she even supposed to win on that one?

XxX

Morning came with a role reversal that did not end up well.

Having woken up feeling queasy and nauseated, Effie spent the morning in the bathroom again and when she made it back to bed, she was exhausted.

"I told you to eat the crackers," Haymitch chided as he rolled out of bed and padded out of the room.

She ignored him, not wanting to get into a fight at eleven in the morning. Effie finally pushed herself out of bed when she smelt something cooking in the kitchen and started to panic. She saw Haymitch without a shirt on, standing by the stove attempting to flip a pancake.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I need to eat. No – don't. Just sit down. If you want breakfast, I'll make some for you. I don't want you to throw up on my breakfast."

With an annoyed huffed, she settled on the chair and watched him. Effie fidgeted in her seat itching to do something. Watching Haymitch's miserable attempt at flipping pancakes made her even more agitated. When she could no longer stand it, Effie got up and hovered next to Haymitch.

"It's burning," she pointed to the pancakes on the pan. "Let me do it."

"No," he pulled away slightly from her. "Go away. Sit down and I'll get you your pancakes."

"I'm not having burnt pancakes!"

"Didn't you say that the doctor told you to rest?"

"I have rested. I slept in today and I won't be coming in to work. Let me," she insisted, reaching out for the spatula in Haymitch's hand.

"Occupy yourself with something else. Make a pot of coffee, stop bothering me, you irritating woman," he snapped.

She did as she was told but when that was done, she was once again next to Haymitch, watching him intently.

"Oh, for fuck's sake," Haymitch threw his hand up in defeat and allowed her control over their breakfast. Effie worked diligently and within minutes, she had their breakfast laid out on the table.

"So when will you know the outcome of the law?"

Haymitch shrugged, sipping his coffee. "The next Council will convene at the end of the month. Probably in two weeks' times. Why is the coffee so bitter? Don't you even know how to brew it properly? Sweetheart, there's enough bitter things in life and coffee shouldn't be one of them."

Effie scowled. Returning back to their topic of conversation, she asked "are you confident it will be repealed?"

He placed his fork down and looked at Effie. "Honestly? No. I think will have to continue fighting and appealing for Paylor to see reason. It's going to be a long road ahead."

Effie was somewhat relief by what Haymitch said. She dropped her head so that her long hair was covering her face as she smiled to herself. It was good news that Haymitch needed more time. That will in turn give her more time to try and change the way he feels about their child.

"You should have seen Paylor, Eff. She was convinced this is what Panem needed. She will not change her mind until she sees the birth rate."

"Her heart is in the right place," Effie said. "She wants the best for this country, to see it succeed after what it's been through for the past years but she's just going about it in the wrong way."

"Hmmm, I won't stop until I see the end of this law."

Effie nodded but what she heard instead was that Haymitch would not stop until he saw the end of their marriage. Her eyes began to water and she cursed herself silently. She was usually far more composed than this and she hated how the hormones were slowly taking control of her emotions.

She wasn't sure if she wanted the marriage to end. It was true that her initial plan was to change the way Haymitch feel about the baby and for him to accept his own child but she couldn't help the sudden feeling of loneliness. It was human nature to want to be accepted and she is his wife; it was painful to see someone she was married to work so hard to end everything.

They had been married for nearly 8 months and Effie had adapted to having Haymitch around. He may not be the best company at times with him being drunk and sharp-tongued with his sarcastic insults and sloppy ways but he was better than the alternative of being alone. He was her husband and she had grown to care for him more than just as her mere ex-colleagues. She liked having someone to care for and look after – it made her feel useful and helpful.

XxX

"May I speak to Mr. Abernathy, please?" asked the slightly high pitched voice of a woman on the phone.

"Who's speaking?" Effie asked curiously.

As far as Effie knew, Haymitch only received phone calls from Plutarch or Peeta when the boy was too lazy to walk over to their house. A woman had never called looking for Haymitch and Effie's interest was piqued.

"My name's Adria Stone from Plutarch Heavensbee office."

Her brows crinkled. The name sounded familiar somehow. She was still trying to recall who Adria Stone was as she passed the phone to Haymitch. Effie was deep in thought that she was only half listening to the conversation Haymitch was having.

_And she tried to sleep with me._

The piece of memory floated into the forefront of her mind and her head swiveled towards Haymitch who was pacing the floor looking wound up. Of course, Haymitch had mentioned her a few weeks ago, the night he returned home from the Capitol.  _Why is she calling the house?_

"Who is that? What does she want?"

"Stone," Haymitch answered as he sank heavily into the sofa. Effie didn't like it when he drinks in her presence. The smell made her nauseated but at the moment, he couldn't care less. He picked his liquor bottle and gulped down the contents of it.

"What does she want? Why is she looking for you, Haymitch?" Effie didn't realize that her voice had increased an octave higher.

Haymitch threw her a disgruntled look at the barrage of questions.

"You told me about her that the night you returned home from the Capitol," Effie began. "Why did she call?"

"Why are you so wound up?" Haymitch replied her question with another question of his own. "She's Plutarch's secretary. She just got the word from Paylor's office - the Council rejected the case today."

"What? Oh no," she shuffled over to where Haymitch was and sat next to him. "There has to be a reason why they rejected it."

"The same thing Paylor told us at her office. Give the law more time," Haymitch shrugged and ran his hand over his face. "I saw this coming."

Effie touched his arm comfortingly and when he turned to look at her, she said, "it's okay, Haymitch. There are other ways."

"Yeah," he nodded, taking another swig from his bottle. The corner of his mouth twitched upwards as he once again, look at her. "What was that whole thing with Stone? Were you jealous?"

Her eyes widened and she blushed despite herself. "I- I wasn't. Don't be ridiculous. It's just… you said that… well, she wanted to be with –"

"Yeah," he chuckled quietly, finding it amusing at how uncomfortable she looked.

"Did you? While you were at the Capitol?"

"No," Haymitch shook his head. "No, I didn't."

"Okay," Effie replied. "Well, I have some papers to go through for the factory. I'll be at the study."

She felt like a weight had been relieved off her shoulders. She didn't know how much his answer meant to her until she heard it.

"Eff," his voice called out to her. "Would you, though? If some guy from the Capitol, someone your type, you know, with good manners and impeccably dress… If one of them were to approach you and try to sleep with you … Would you have taken his offer?"

Without waiting for her reply, he continued. "I was told it is common practice to amuse oneself with someone else's spouse in the current climate. It's becoming a social norm or something. But, I don't see it happening much here in District Twelve, oddly enough."

Haymitch was rambling. He never rambles so he took another drink to shut himself up.

No, Haymitch. I won't. I'm not that kind of person."


	12. Chapter 12

Effie nibbled on her crackers looking miserable as she leaned back against the headboard. Haymitch was lying on his stomach with a pillow under this head and an eye open as he looked at Effie lazily.

"Don't puke on the bed," he mumbled unnecessarily, "I sleep on it."

"Even if I do, I will be the one cleaning up my own mess up and changing the sheets. Stop complaining," she snapped at him.

He gave an amused smile. His eyes were fluttering close again when Effie spoke up. "I hate this, Haymitch."

"Soldier on, sweetheart," he sighed, pushing himself off the bed. "If you had been more careful with your pills, you wouldn't be in this situation, now would you?"

"Go to hell, you prick," Effie cursed him as she disappeared into their bathroom. Haymitch could hear her retching. He considered going in to help her the way she had been helping him when he was sick and drunk but somehow, he thought it would be safer to leave her alone and made his way out of the room.

For the second time that month, Effie found him at by the stove attempting to whip up a meal. Except this time when she entered the kitchen, she gagged and pinched her nose together.

"Uggh! What is that smell?"

Effie waved her hand in front of her face in disgust, lingering by the doorway unsure if she should approach him or bolt before she fainted from the smell of it.

"What?" Haymitch turned around in confusion. He threw the empty egg shells in the trash and wiped his hand on a clean towel.

"That horrendous smell – what is it?" Deciding to take control of the situation, Effie marched over to where Haymitch was standing and took the bowl of raw cracked eggs. She made a face. With one hand still covering her nose, Effie dumped the contents in the trash.

Haymitch stared at her in shock. "What are you – Why did you throw that away?" he thundered. "I was gonna cook them. You've just wasted food! This is so typical of you! How many times have I told you not to waste food?"

"I cannot stand the smell! It's absolutely revolting," she shot back. "It's terrible. How could you even think of cooking them? I feel like throwing up again, Haymitch!"

"Are you mad?" Haymitch asked. "Those are eggs. It's not like they're rotten or anythin'. You've gone completely mental."

"I said I can't stand the smell. I don't know why, Haymitch, I just can't."

Realisation dawned on him and the situation became clear. "Ah, food aversion," Haymitch answered. "Read that in your pamphlet. You seemed to have developed a sensitive sense of smell. First my alcohol, now this."

"Oh. Oh. I – I read about it too," Effie said meekly. The corners of her lips twitched. "Careful there, Haymitch. At this rate, you'll be the expert in pregnancy," she teased.

"Whatever," he waved her off. "I'm going to town to get lunch. Would you like anything?"

"Strawberries," she was quick to answer. "I've wanted strawberries since two days ago but I didn't have the time to get them."

Haymitch grumbled to himself about Effie having cravings. "I can't help it, you know," she retorted.

He made his way to town, glad to have some time away from Effie. Haymitch took out the hip flask from his jacket pocket, drinking from it occasionally as he walked over to Greasy Sae's restaurant. For a moment, he thought he was at the wrong place. Haymitch was surprised to see that the old woman had installed an awning at the front of her shop and had even arranged tables and chairs for her patrons to dine under.

"Do you like it, boy?" she gave him a toothless smile and pierced him with a sharp glare which made him thought it would be unwise to contradict her.

"They're … They're nice. Kinda cosy," he looked around.

"Good, good," she nodded happily. "I got to take the chance, you know, with this law. I supposed the newly wed need a place to dine, yes? So why not mine? I try, boy, try to make this place… what do you young people call it?"

Haymitch stared at her not quite sure what she meant. He could hardly be classified as young and he sure as hell had no idea the language of young adults nowadays.

"More hip, grandma. More romantic," supplied Greasy Sae's granddaughter.

His head swivelled at her direction. That was the first time he heard her speak. Sandy usually kept to herself and hardly ever talked to anyone.

"Yes, yes," Greasy Sae nodded in satisfaction. "You bring your young wife here again, boy. You have a nice and proper dinner outside, at this table. Very nice view," she gestured towards a table under the awning, tucked at a corner. "You can see the town and at night, the moon will be out, full moon tonight. Very romantic. You bring her here. I like her."

Haymitch look affronted but quickly schooled his features when Greasy Sae squinted up at him suspiciously. The word 'romantic' made his skin crawl. Haymitch had never before courted a woman and he did not plan on starting anytime soon. All the women he ever had in his life had either thrown themselves at him or he had picked them up at bar and left them the next morning. Courtship and romance was something he avoided all together and he was not going to change his ways for Effie. After nearly two decades of knowing him, she should know what she had gotten herself into.

"Of course," Haymitch said instead so as not to provoke the old woman. "Now, if I could place my order?"

Greasy Sae liked to talk as she worked and while packing the sandwiches Haymitch had ordered, she asked after Effie and her pregnancy. Somehow, Haymitch wasn't surprised that she knew about Effie's impending motherhood. Words tend to travel fast in a small district such as theirs.

"She's fine," he answered curtly.

Haymitch nearly forgot but when he passed by the fruit stall on his way home, he recalled Effie asking for strawberries. He huffed in exasperation when he was told that it was out of stock and the last packet had been sold the day before. To make matters worse, the next shipment will not be in for another two weeks.

"Two weeks? What's taking so long to bring the damn fruit in?"

"There's not much demand for it here in District Twelve," the young man pointed out, "so I don't see the need to import large amount of it."

Haymitch growled in annoyance. Strawberries, along with several other types of berries were sold in small quantities in District Twelve before the Rebellion. Due to how expensive it was, only a handful of citizens could afford it and this seemed true across all the different districts. As a kid from the Seam, Haymitch had never tasted the fruit until he was at the Capitol at the age of 16. Most of the fruits were exported out to the Capitol where its privileged citizens could enjoy them at its finest.

It would seem that this habit had carried over post-rebellion and there was hardly any demand for those berries simply because district citizens were not used to having them.

"You don't understand, she's craving for it," Haymitch frowned. He had heard some nasty stories about pregnant woman and their cravings, and coupled with their mood swings, it was no surprise that Haymitch wanted to avoid a scene as much as possible.

"Come back in two weeks. I will have them," the young man told him.

XxX

The house was quiet when he returned. Haymitch saw Effie curled on the sofa with her feet tucked underneath her reading the papers with a frown on her face.

"Grilled chicken sandwich for you. You better not tell me you can't stand the idea of chicken or that you're going to throw up at the sight of it or some other nonsense," he warned as he handed her the paper bag.

Effie took it without question and began to unwrap her lunch. "Smells nice."

"Speaking of smell, here's a dust mask for you to put on whenever I need to drink or if you ever have to make scrambled eggs. You won't be able to smell anything with it on, so problem solved."

Effie looked up at saw the smug look on Haymitch's face and the way his silvery grey eyes twinkled teasingly. She took the white masks, turned in her hands and threw it back at Haymitch, her amused laughed telling him that she wasn't offended.

"That's just an excuse for you to drink more! You're a complete moron, Haymitch!"

"A moron? Still need some work but you're getting creative with the insults. Must be the hormones," he attributed easily.

Unwrapping his own sandwich, Haymitch settled down next to her and peered at the paper she was reading when he came home. "What's interesting in there?" he asked with his mouth full.

The corner of her lips turned downwards slightly in disapproval. "Manners, Haymitch," she said, spreading the paper on her lap for him to get a better view.

"Read it out to me."

_… Haymitch Abernathy was spotted at the Capitol with Plutarch Heavensbee three weeks ago. By now, everyone is aware that about a week ago, a case was presented to the Council for the law to be abolished. The case was summarily dismissed. Could the presence of Haymitch Abernathy at the Capitol and the case heard by the Council during the same week be a coincidence? Or is our veteran hero behind this movement? We, in the City Gazette would like to think that they are, in fact, related._

"Movement?" Haymitch commented as he took another bite of his sandwich. "I am not – this is not a movement!"

"Shush, Haymitch. Do you want me to read on or not?"

_For some residents in District Two, they seemed to have taken this as a sign to raise their voices and be heard. Haymitch Abernathy, whether he intended to or not, had caused some unrest in District Two with its residents calling for an end to the law._

_"The Council never mentioned why it was rejected," says Gale Hawthorne, "and we would like to know the details of the case brought on before them. This law is an abomination."_

_Mr Hawthorne refused to comment on whether or not Mr Abernathy was the one who had brought on the case._

_Turn to Page 5 for more details on Mr. Abernathy's marriage to Ms. Trinket._

"Do I want to know what's in page 5?" Haymitch asked. The City Gazette was an independent newspaper company without any influence from the current Government. Plutarch had no control over it although with his connections, he had a certain degree of influence. However, Haymitch doubted that Plutarch had anything to do with the article.

Effie looked worriedly at Haymitch. "Should we? I think we should. They're printing stories about us!"

She turned the pages and Haymitch instantly knew she was on page 5 when the same picture from months ago taken during their wedding night was printed at the top of the page. Effie read out loud as he listened.

_Haymitch Abernathy and Effie Trinket tied the knot on 30 June last year. The former mentor and escort to District Twelve had known each other for close to twenty years, having worked together as colleagues during the Hunger Games. It came as a surprise to many that they chose to marry the other under this law. For those who had ever seen them together before the Rebellion could attest to their obvious disdain for each other and their constant arguments were testament to the kind of relationship they had prior to the marriage._

"Do we really argue that much? On national television for everyone to see?" Effie asked.

"Not so much when the cameras were around but people talked, other mentors and escorts, and stylist, you know how it is," he replied. "And we wouldn't be arguing that much if you weren't such an irritating, old –"

Effie cut him off and continued reading the article, not really in the mood to have him insult her behaviour.

_With such strong, clashing personalities, it is not at all surprising that Mr Abernathy would want to dissolve his marriage. The City Gazette strongly believed that Mr. Abernathy did not visit the Capitol to catch up with his friend and fellow Rebel leader, Mr. Plutarch Heavensbee. His presence at the Capitol was for a reason – to put an end to the law._

_In a recent twist to the on-going saga between the two, Ms Trinket, is currently pregnant with his child. Had the Council taken Mr. Abernathy's case seriously, the child would be without a father and would the pristine Ms Trinket, the once fashion icon of the country, give up her child for the glory of her former life? What is the real motivation behind Haymitch Abernathy's actions? Perhaps being married to a high maintenance Capitol citizen was too much for him to -_

"That's enough," Haymitch growled, snatching the paper out of her hand. He balled it in his fist and threw it on the floor in disgust. "They had no right to scrutinize our life like that."

Effie sat stiff on the sofa and stared blankly ahead of her. Her sandwich lay forgotten on the coffee table, cold and untouched.

"Eff?" he called out when he noticed that she had not said a word.

She blinked rapidly to clear the unshed tears in her eyes. "I – uh, I think I'm going to lie in," she stood up, "maybe take a nap."

His eyes followed her out of the room in bewilderment.  _Was she upset by the article?_

Unsure of what just happened; Haymitch did something he would never have done before – he started clearing up the living room. He picked the newspaper he had cast aside and threw it in the fireplace. Not one to throw away food, Haymitch took Effie's sandwich and kept it away in the kitchen for her to reheat if she was hungry. He went as far as to wash her glass of ice tea and wiped the coffee table clean. Convinced that Effie would have gotten herself under control during the few minutes he spent cleaning, he went to seek her out.

She was sitting at the edge of the bed, one hand clutching a throw pillow and as he approached her, he saw that she was staring at a sonogram.

"I'm not giving her up, Haymitch," she whispered softly, never taking her eyes of the picture.

"Her? It's a girl?"

Haymitch approached Effie cautiously. He was wary of her being emotionally unstable, the way the pregnancy pamphlet had warned him about.

"I don't know," she sniffed, "I just think it's a girl. It would be nice to have a little girl. The doctor said it's too early to tell, that … she said something about external genitals still not developed enough to confirm."

She turned to look at him, dark blue eyes shining with tears. Haymitch sat next to her on the bed. He was at a loss and unsure of himself. If there was one thing he couldn't tolerate was when someone was crying and he sure as hell have no idea how to console them. Every fibre of his being was screaming for him to flee. The logical course of action would be to get either Katniss or Peeta. Surely they would know better on how to handle this kind of situation. Haymitch was never good company and Effie would certainly want someone who could offer her words of comfort and make her feel better. That person wasn't him. His role in her life was to drive her insane, insult her and laugh at her as he teased her about one thing or the other; those are the things came naturally to him.

"I'm not that person anymore; the one you knew from the Games. I won't give her up for anything. How am I supposed to go back to being me – to care about the latest fashion or trend – when I have a life growing inside of me? Do you know how surreal it feels? I never thought it would happen to me, Haymitch, but it has and it's wonderful," she laughed and hiccupped.

Despite his misgivings, Haymitch stayed. He knew he was a less than stellar husband and he had never been very supportive of her pregnancy but he wasn't completely mean and heartless either. He supposed all he needed to do was sit and listen to her. That shouldn't be too difficult. Haymitch stretched over to her night stand and handed the tissue papers to her.

"I hate the morning sickness, the nausea, the frequent need to pee or how tender my breasts are right now-" Haymitch coughed and cleared his throat, not at all aware about the issue with her tender breasts – "but I look at this picture and … that's my baby. She's so tiny I can't believe I'm carrying her. Look at her, how can something so small exist?"

Her hand fluttered to her stomach and she handed the sonogram to Haymitch. He had never seen it before, having never once accompanied Effie for her check-up. He stared at the black and white photograph and squinted, unable to discern any shape that would indicate a human life.

"It's a – pretty," he said lamely.

"Pretty?" Effie frowned slightly before a small smile grace her face. "You can't see a thing, can you? It's that little black dot in the middle of the white? That's her."

He shook his head and returned the sonogram back to her.

"Ah, I don't understand it," he admitted.

"Maybe when you're a little bigger," Effie whispered, tucking the sonogram carefully in front of the picture frame of herself and Haymitch, "then maybe daddy can see you."

Haymitch sucked in a breath and held it as he internalised what Effie just said. He could feel his heart thudding in his ribcage and he was certain Effie could hear it too. His chest ache with a feeling he couldn't describe and Haymitch swallowed.  _Daddy._  It sounded so unfamiliar and yet, coming from Effie, it sounded natural.

"Eff – "

"I'm not  _that_ Capitol citizen anymore, you know. I fought for your side because of my sister, I was held a prisoner, tortured within an inch of my life and – I'm just… I'm not who the article said I am," Effie said sadly.

"I know, sweetheart. The article's rubbish but at least the paper is letting the world know what's happening in other districts, yeah? That's a good thing – exposure."

"Is it true then that you're doing this because being married to a Capitol woman was too much for you? I'm not that high maintenance, Haymitch. I could learn to live like Katniss and like – like any other women here. I could live a simple life. I want to."

The tears came unbidden to her eyes again and she tried desperately to stop it. She pressed her face to the pillow but the one thing that stood out to Haymitch was her complete willingness to change. The Effie he knew ten years ago would not even have entertained such thoughts. Sure, he knew she had a heart because she cared enough for her dead sister and her tributes but being brought up in the Capitol meant that Effie was used to having the best of everything.

"No," Haymitch answered, touching her arm lightly. "No, Effie. That's not the reason."

Maybe it was his touch that made her do it or maybe she just needed some comfort, but Effie turned sideways and buried her face in his chest. His arms came to wrap around her shaking body awkwardly. Haymitch stroked her hair as he held her in his arms.

"Then why, Haymitch? Being married to me can't be at all that horrible."

Haymitch could barely make out her muffled sobs and when she asked him that question, he had no idea what to answer. He had done it because he didn't want to remain married to her. He wanted to be free and he was convinced that she deserved the same, too. But he wasn't so sure now. His eyes fell on the sonogram on the night stand, to his child in her womb pressed softly in between them. A child that will be taken away from him if the law was abolished and he let her ago.

"Because it's wrong, Effie," he said, his mouth pressed against the side of her head. "It's not about us, anymore. There are people out there who are suffering because of this law."

She pulled away. Effie wiped the snot coming out of her nose and the tears streaming down her face and nodded. The sight of her crying was unattractive and Haymitch bit the inside of his cheeks to stop himself from laughing. She would not appreciate it and will most definitely call him rude.

"I understand. I do. I just wish - "

"You just wish what?"

"I wish that you could accept me. That I'm good enough for you", but the words died on her lips.

"Nothing," she said instead, smiling lightly and shaking her head. "A fool's wish."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to clear things up, in this timeline, Effie should be about, 10 weeks pregnant and that sonogram was taken much much earlier during her pre-natal check up (I googled how a 5 weeks old sonogram looks like and all i saw was a black dot, so... yeah).


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was too long so it has been divided into two.

**Chapter Thirteen (Part 1)**

"Haymitch," Effie shook his shoulder lightly, "Haymitch."

He was sleeping on his stomach, snoring slightly and blowing wisp of his hair as he breathed. She pushed back his hair away from his face and called out his name again, louder this time round.

Years of sleeping lightly and being on edge meant that he was awake almost instantaneously with his hand under the pillow gripping the handle of his knife instinctively. Haymitch turned his head sideways to look at her, frowning slightly when he realized that they were not in any form of danger. The light on Effie's nightstand was switched on and she was sitting on the bed with a strap from her night gown falling slightly off her shoulder. She bit her bottom lip, a sign that she was anxious.

"What is it?" he asked groggily, letting his head fall back down on the pillow.

"Don't laugh at me," Effie warned, "but I really, really want strawberries."

Haymitch groaned loudly. "I told you already, it'll be here in two weeks. The guy at the shop told me so."

She shook her head, refusing to listen to Haymitch. "But I want it now, Haymitch. I don't want it two weeks from now."

"Go back to sleep," he mumbled, turning on his back and covered his face with the pillow. "When you wake up in the morning, you'll forget all about it."

"I can't go back to sleep. I've been thinking about it all night, I can taste it on my tongue."

Haymitch pulled the pillow off his face and turned to look at her in exasperation. "What do you want me to do? They ran out of strawberries. Go have a watermelon in the kitchen."

"If I wanted watermelon, I would have had them. I want strawberries. S-T-R-A-W – Haymitch? No, don't go back to sleep! Ugh, why do I even bother?" she muttered the last bit to herself.

Haymitch felt her move away from him and cracked an eye open. He watched as she started picking out clothes from her wardrobe. He had no idea what she was planning to do but when she stood in front of the vanity to tie her hair into a neat ponytail, grabbed her purse and moved towards the bedroom door, Haymitch pushed himself into a sitting position.

"Where are you going?"

"Where do you think? To buy strawberries for myself."

Haymitch looked at the clock. "It's 4 in the morning, Effie. Don't be absurd."

"No, I really must get them!" Effie replied stubbornly.

"Where the bloody hell do you plan on getting them? Do you understand a word I just said? There are no more stocks in District Twelve!"

"But there will be stocks at the Capitol," she insisted. "I'm sure of it. If you don't believe me, I'll call my cousin Felix and I'll check with him."

"Wha – No, don't be crazy! Come back to bed - you can go to the Capitol tomorrow morning," he tried to compromise.

"That's a few hours from now. Why should I wait? Take care of the house, see you!"

Just like that, Effie was gone, applying her lipstick as she trotted out of the room. Haymitch stared after at the closed door and blinked seemingly caught off guard at the turn of events. When it finally sunk it what Effie had done, Haymitch scrambled to their bedroom window and pushed it open, peering out to the front yard to look for Effie.

"Eff, Eff!" he shouted. She waved at him as she moved across the lawn. "You mad woman, come back here! Effie! Don't be stubborn – Effie!"

He cursed and swore loudly as he threw on a pair of jeans and a button down shirt hastily. Haymitch was in such a rush he never realized that he had left the house in a pair of leather flip flops which Effie had bought for him.

"How the hell do you manage to walk that fast?" he wheezed when he finally caught up with her. "Don't pregnant women waddle?"

"Don't be rude. I'm not a penguin," she replied. "What are you doing here?"

"You think I'm going to let you go off alone when you're half delusional like this?"

"Delusional?! How dare you! I'd like to see  _you_  being pregnant, let's see how you'll fare. Imagine yourself craving a glass of whiskey but they're only available at the Capitol. I bet my buttons you will leave for the Capitol immediately no matter how much you don't like that place."

"Fine, fair point," he concurred. "You bought tickets yet?"

"Yes, the earliest train is at 5 am, you should buy yours. I'll wait right here."

XxX

"All this for some fruit you're craving? This is insane. I'm losing precious sleep hours," Haymitch complained for the umpteenth time that day, crossing his arm in front of his chest and leaning his head on the train's glass window.

"My sweet, sweet, darling husband, it's not too late to return home," Effie said, "we're only at District Ten, you can alight and take the train back to Twelve."

Haymitch grumbled under his breath and looked out the window. He nodded off once or twice during the journey but Effie, very much awake and alert, got up once in a while to stretch her aching back. Prior to her pregnancy, Effie never had any back problems but it's been aching for the past few days. It was the most uncomfortable feeling.

It was a few more hours before they reached the Capitol and once there, they wasted no time breaking into an argument in the middle of the train station. Haymitch had insisted that they go straight to Effie's apartment first but Effie was thinking of something entirely different. She was adamant that "my little girl wants her strawberries."

That led to another fight as he led her by the crook of her elbow out of the train station. Haymitch muttered under his breath about how impossible it was for a fetus to crave for a fruit it barely knew existed. Hearing that, Effie rounded up on him and narrowed her eyes into an angry slit.

"What did you say?", she hissed.

Haymitch backed off and conceded, gesturing for her to lead the way before she completely lost her head. He was never terrified of Effie but this spontaneous, unplanned trip to the Capitol was something his wife would never have done before and it scared him slightly.

In the taxi on the way to 'the largest supermarket in the Capitol' as Effie had called it, she shuffled close to Haymitch, seeking his warmth. She had on a thin layer of clothing and it was not doing a very good job of keeping her warm. Haymitch glanced briefly at her, not quite understanding what she needed and continued looking out of the window. She sighed, knowing Haymitch could be daft sometimes.

Effie headed straight for the fruit section once they alighted with Haymitch trailing behind her, his eyes searching for the liquor section. When she found what she was looking for, her face broke into a ridiculous, wide grin, her blue eyes lighting up as she turned to look at him. She had not smiled at him that way since the day they were married and he honestly couldn't remember her being that happy over something as insignificant as a fruit since the War ended. Seeing her that way made him feel that perhaps it wasn't that bad a deal being dragged out of bed at four in the morning. She had been upset by the article and if this could make her happy, why not?

"Okay?" he grumbled. "Happy?"

"Yes," she smiled up at him. "Let's go to my apartment now."

For all the grand speech and incessant nagging about table manners, the same woman who told him for years that the tributes upset her digestion, Effie showed him another side of her he had never seen before. She took the packet of strawberries out of the paper bag and eagerly opened the packaging as they sat at the back of the taxi.

"Effie," he called out urgently.

She looked at him in alarm. "What?"

"Keep it back in the bag. You can't eat them now."

She ignored him and bit into the red, juicy fruit with a loud satisfied moan. He stared at her in surprise.

"Oh, god, it's so delicious," she licked her lips. "I think the baby's happy. Do you want some, Haymitch?"

The taxi driver threw her a dirty look from his rear view mirror, telling her not to dirty his taxi.

"Sorry," Haymitch hastily apologised to the driver. "She's ah … pregnant. And she's got this cravin', you know? Effie, that's enough! Save the rest until we're home."

XxX

Now that he thought about it, Haymitch had never once slept in Effie's room while at her apartment. When he had spent the time at her apartment while working with her for the Rebellion, their relationship had been professional with the frequent bark and snide comments they threw at each other. But for the first time that night, he slept in her room, in her bed.

He did not give it much thought about where he should be sleeping when night came around and had gone into the guest bedroom but just as he was halfway through his bottle of liquor, Effie appeared by the door, looking slightly uncertain.

"You know, if you want, you could… you could sleep with me in my room next door. It's just that, we've slept in the same bed since we're married and I'm used to having you next to me," she bit her lip shyly. "Unless you want to sleep here, then, that's fine, too."

Haymitch shrugged and followed Effie to her room. Just as it was for Effie, he was used to her warm body lying next to him and besides, he didn't really fancy sleeping on the cold bed alone.

He was already lying on the soft bed with an arm covering his eyes as he waited for sleep to claim him when he felt the bed dipped as Effie crawled in after her nightly ritual of brushing her hair before going to sleep. He felt her lips, soft and warm on his cheek as she kissed him lightly. Surprised, Haymitch moved his arm away from his eyes to look at her.

"Thank you, Haymitch," she said, "for accompanying me here when you don't have to."

Her hand was resting on the mattress, partially supporting her weight and Haymitch's fingers unconsciously began trailing the gold bracelet around her wrist.

"Do you have any more cravings I should know about?" he blinked at her lazily.

"No," Effie shook her head, "at least not at the moment!"

The groan that escaped his lip made her giggle.

"I don't think I like you very much when you're pregnant," Haymitch teased.

She gave him a small smile. "You've never liked me very much whether or not I'm pregnant."

In that second, the mood turned serious. Haymitch sighed. He really needed to keep up with her mood swings. It was getting a bit frustrating for him to figure her out when she couldn't even tell that he was teasing.

Effie made to move away but his fingers curled around her wrist and stayed her hand.

"I was joking. Don't mean it that way," he explained.

Effie nodded understandingly and waited for him to continue.

"It's just… I – I don't know, Effie. My life's changed so much in less than a year. I'm married and to you, no less and now you're pregnant. I just spend hours on a train ride with a craving pregnant woman who happened to be  _my_  wife, and carrying  _my_ child. This is all very new to me, you understand? I'm scared, Eff," he whispered the last part softly.

Then he blinked and the slight moment of vulnerability vanished from his grey eyes. "You should probably sleep. I'm gonna get myself something more to drink."

He propped himself up on his elbows and was about to get off the bed when Effie unexpectedly leaned forward with her hands on his chest, pushing him back down on the bed. She kissed him for the second time that night; a soft, lingering kiss and when she opened her mouth to speak, her warm minty breath mingled with his own.

"You're not alone, you know. I don't know what's happening to my own body, Haymitch and that's even frightening."

He couldn't remember Effie ever initiating anything in bed. The few times that they had come together intimately sort of just happened for them. And having a woman making the first move made his body react naturally. He didn't know how much he craved to touch her until now and in light of the admittance of their vulnerable feelings towards each other, Haymitch gave in. He cradled her head and kissed her back, his tongue skimming her bottom lips and nibbling on them slightly as his other hand glided up from her waist, passed her ribcage to cup her face.

Effie kissed him with more passion than she ever had and Haymitch silently thanked his lucky stars. If he was going to be rewarded for accompanying this slightly stubborn, determined woman halfway across the country to fulfil her cravings, then he damn well deserved the very best.

The kiss grew heated quickly with an almost desperate note, and Effie was soon straddling him on the bed. His hand traveled to her back, a finger trailing down her spine and she arched her body deliciously in respond. He pulled back from the kiss to look at her and slowly, he tugged the nightgown off her shoulders. Just as he did to her back, he trailed a finger down between the valley of her breasts and stopped at her sternum. His eyes flickered up to meet hers and when she nodded encouragingly, he laid his palm flat on the slight bump on her stomach.

Haymitch took in a deep breath and smiled to himself, remembering what Effie had whispered to her unborn child the day before.  _Daddy._

"Will it move?" he whispered.

"No, it's far too early."

He nodded and his eyes immediately focused on her breasts. He eagerly unhooked the clasp of her bra and when he tried to take it off, Effie groaned.

"No, don't," she said, "it's uh… it's sore and tender."

Haymitch remembered her telling him about breast tenderness and made a mental note to himself to avoid that area altogether. Just to be certain, he asked, "did your book say if it's okay to have sex during pregnancy?"

He thought that was an honest, legitimate question but when Effie laughed and buried her face in his chest to contain her laughter, he felt slightly foolish - as though he was missing something that he should have known.

"Of course, Haymitch," she chuckled, "although when I'm in my second trimester and I've gotten a lot bigger that this, you would need to be more creative with the positions."

He smirked, "oh, I'll show just how creative I can be."

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Thirteen (Part 2)**

Morning greeted the pair of them far too soon for Haymitch's liking. He wriggled his fingers and tried to extricate his arm which had gone numb from being used as a pillow by Effie all throughout the night. Her long hair was tickling his nose and her elbow was digging painfully into his ribcage.

He extracted himself slowly and pushed himself into a sitting position. Haymitch stared at her sleeping form and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. With an almost gentle care he never knew himself capable of, Haymitch pulled the cover up around her.

If Effie had not been next to him when he woke up that morning, he would have passed off the night before as a dream, something his feeble mind craved for – a companion. It felt like a scene from one of those Capitol movies, not something that he ever thought would occur in his last time. Last night had been enjoyable. The sex was great, he was not even going to lie about that and afterwards, as he lay in bed listening to Effie talk about their baby whilst she snuggled up to him was oddly soothing. It calmed him, the same sort of calm he had been looking for when he picked up alcohol all those years ago.

"She's about 4cm long and she's developing rapidly," Effie had informed him.

Haymitch never said a word except to remind her that it could be a boy. He listened quietly and let her do the all the talking as he ran his fingers through her hair. It wasn't long before Effie fell asleep.

The memory of the previous night caused him to frown. If they kept that up, it would only spell trouble for either of them when the time came for them to go their separate ways. He wasn't a stranger to feelings of desolation and emptiness when it came to losing people he cared about and it would be extremely foolish of him to get close to Effie now of all time. The law would be dissolved and Effie would leave.

 _No_ , he thought fiercely. The Capitol had hurt him too much and he refused to feel the same way again. Once was enough to last a lifetime.

He had vowed to be responsible for the child - not so much for the mother – and wasn't that enough? Effie would be safe while they're married. He had saved her from a terrible fate by marrying her instead of letting her choose one of those men who had petition for her hand. He would make sure that she would get through the pregnancy without any complications but when they're separated his responsibility was to the child.

Haymitch was jolted out of his dark thoughts by a knock on the door. It was barely eleven in the morning.

Effie blinked up at him blearily. "Is someone knocking?"

"Probably just some sales person," he told her, reaching over to the back of a chair for a shirt, "go back to sleep."

He slipped into the leather slippers he left District Twelve in and moved towards the front door. Haymitch yanked it open with a frown on his face hoping to impress upon whoever it was that he was not happy being interrupted that early in the morning.

Haymitch came face to face with a tall young man in a messy out of bed gelled black hair and powdered pale face. His lips had been defined by red lip gloss and he looked at Haymitch through his long dark eyelashes.

"Morning," said the young man in a lazy, arrogant drawl. "You're Effie's husband. I recognize you from the various times you appeared drunk on national television. How very charming"

Haymitch narrowed his eyes dangerously at the stranger. He had met this man for less than five minutes and there was nothing likeable about him at all. Effie had never mentioned that a friend, much less a well-dressed, handsome young man would be visiting. His ego flared inside of him and Haymitch stepped closer to the stranger – a gesture he hoped would intimidate the intruder. Haymitch looked like a lion ready to defend his turf and he had no idea why he was acting so predatory in nature.

"May I come in?" the man asked, tracing his bottom lip with a lone finger as he gave Haymitch a once over appreciatively. "I'm sure Effie would love to see me."

"I'm sure she would. But I'm not in the habit of allowing strangers, much less a man inside my house," Haymitch answered.

The man chuckled and something seemed to snap inside of Haymitch. His nostrils flared in annoyance. "Who the hell are you?" Haymitch demanded.

"Felix, gay cousin," he replied languidly, "and it's sweet that you're worried about Effie. But really, Haymitch, you should worry about yourself."

Once again, he looked at Haymitch from head to toe before shrugging off the overcoat. Haymitch gave himself a slight shake of the head and blinked only to see that Felix was still there. He felt slightly foolish to be so presumptive.

Felix waited patiently for Haymitch's offer to take the coat and when he didn't, Felix slung them over Haymitch's arm.

He stepped into the room, speaking loudly to announce his presence. "Where is she – my favourite girl in the world?"

Effie poked her head out of the room and when she saw who it was, she screamed, running straight for Felix still dressed in her nightgown. "Felix! Oh, Felix, I've missed you!"

She enveloped her cousin in a tight hug which Felix returned with the same enthusiasm, so much so that he lifted the pregnant woman off the floor. Haymitch stared at the pair of them, never before having seen Effie behave that way. She was usually more reserve when greeting someone – a polite handshake and smile on her face.

As was the norm in the Capitol, the two cousins exchanged kisses on the cheeks.

"Oh, you pulled off that turtleneck, cousin. It's not in fashion is it?" Effie asked, taking in the way he was dressed.

"I'm bringing it back," Felix answered haughtily, inspecting his perfectly manicured nails.

The young man was dressed in a black slim fit pants and deep red turtleneck shirt. His eyes were outlined with dark eyeliners and he turned to glare at Haymitch when he saw Haymitch throwing his overcoat at the back of the sofa.

"I'll have you know, mister, that that is an expensive coat."

"Oh, let me," Effie interrupted, gathering the coat and hanging it appropriately. "Haymitch, this is my cousin, Felix, and Felix, this is my husband, Haymitch."

"Nice to finally meet you when you're sober," Felix smiled, showing off a row of white polished teeth. "I don't think we've been introduced properly. You were drunk at your wedding, as I recalled when I stopped by to offer my congratulations."

Effie ushered her cousin to the living room. Her hand found his as she tugged him along, smiling up at him apologetically. "He's a bundle of energy," she whispered, "just prepare yourself."

Taking Effie's warning into account, Haymitch maintained a safe distance away from the high-spirited young man when Effie excused herself to the kitchen to get refreshments.

"To be quite honest, I am slightly affronted that I wasn't told you were both coming to the Capitol," he exclaimed. "I had to find out from the papers this morning."

"We're in the papers?" Haymitch raised an eyebrow in question, and snatched the morning paper that had been delivered to Effie's apartment. His eyes skimmed the front page where a picture had been printed showing them exiting the supermarket the day before.

_Has he given up on repealing the law? Haymitch Abernathy and Effie Trinket were spotted together in public for the first time…._

"This is insane," he muttered. "I've been out with Effie at District Twelve!"

"That may be so but the media are more … shall we, say aggressive in the Capitol?" Felix added helpfully. "This  _is_  the city of this country, after all. Anyway, here on vacation? I would have thought District Four would be a more suitable holiday destination. My brother owns a resort there, so if you would like a - "

"No," Haymitch interrupted quickly, "this trip was unplanned.  _Your_  favourite cousin had to satisfy her cravings for strawberries. They ran out of it at District Twelve."

"Hmm," Felix tapped his chin, "I heard her mother craved the same when she was pregnant with Effie. So, she came all the way here?"

" _We_  came here on the 5 am train."

Felix whistled. "That's a little bit crazy – poor you."

Haymitch's hand fluttered to the back of his neck and rubbed it uncomfortably. Felix was unnerving and Haymitch was not sure how to react to him. Given the awkward situation he found himself in, Haymitch flipped through the pages of the newspaper hoping to block out Felix's presence.

"You look far handsome in person," Felix said suddenly, "and taller, too."

Haymitch fidgeted in his seat. He wished Effie would hurry with whatever she was doing in the kitchen and rescue him from her mad cousin.

"Right."

"I supposed your child will be lucky with your combined looks," Felix lamented further. "Effie thinks it's a girl, yeah?"

Haymitch gave a curt nod. "You talk to her often?"

"Every week or so on the phone."

Thankfully for him, Effie came out of the kitchen then. Despite how unsettled he was by Felix's presence at Effie's apartment, he was rather impressed by Effie's eccentric cousin when he gave a long sigh at the sight of red wine that Effie had brought out. He dramatically pushed the long fringe of his hair and got up to swap the red wine with whiskey in the kitchen.

"Put the both of you in a bar together and you'll run that place dry," Effie muttered.

"Say… Effie, how about we start shopping for some maternity clothes?" Felix suggested as he walked back into the living room, taking a sip from his drink.

"It's still too early. I'm not even in my second trimester, yet."

"Nonsense, nothing's too early! Let's just go. We haven't spent time together since you moved to Twelve. You come along too, Haymitch - time for me to get to know my cousin in law. Maybe we could even stop by for manicure, Effie!"

XxX

The chipper and joyful conversation the pair of cousins were having was occasionally punctuated by Haymitch complaining, grumbling and him muttering rudely under his breath as Felix led them to "BabyTown", a shop located at the busy part of downtown Capitol.

"Shush! Stop complaining. It is not classy at all," Felix snapped at him, "be classy. Let people envy you."

"He is such a prima donna," Haymitch muttered to Effie out of the corner of his mouth.

Felix peered at him from the top edges of his shades and when he saw that Haymitch had left Effie's apartment in his leather flip flops, he gasped.

"You're going shopping in that? That's inappropriate! But, hmmm, I suppose, it suits you. You've pulled off the slightly on edge look - the devil may care attitude, you know?"

"Have you ever felt a punch before?" Haymitch asked.

"Leave him alone, Felix. And don't threaten my cousin, please. Let's just go, okay?" Effie pleaded.

Inside the store, Felix and Effie promptly disappeared in search of maternity clothes leaving Haymitch to his own devices. He stood awkwardly in the middle of the store and when he saw a sales woman looking at him curiously, Haymitch moved away before she could approach him.

He walked between the aisles; his eyes scanning the items lined neatly on the shelf. Some of the things he came across looked downright foreign to him. There was an odd looking contraption which Haymitch picked up with interest and turned over in his hand as he carefully inspected it. He had no idea what it was or what it was meant to be used for.

His eyes flickered to the sign hanging on the shelf where the price was displayed. It took his brain a few moments to understand what he just read and Haymitch threw the offending item back where he took it when he realised what it was - breast pump.

 _Dear God_ , he thought, slightly horrified,  _I thought only cows …. Where's Effie?_

"Effie, Eff," he rushed over to where she was.

"Does this look good on me, Haymitch?" she asked, holding up a dress she was browsing for him to see.

"Yes," he answered hastily, "do you know they're selling breast pumps here? Why would anyone need that? It sounds barbaric! I thought the baby just … you know, suck on your …"

He cleared his throat uncomfortably.

Felix who was choosing several dresses for Effie happened to saunter over to where they were and heard what Haymitch said. He laughed hysterically. "Well, well, aren't you ready for fatherhood?"

"Oh shut up," Haymitch gritted his teeth in annoyance, "as if you would know anything about it."

"Sure, I do. See, lactating mothers sometimes need sleep and it's therefore  _your_  turn to feed your baby and where do you get milk?" he asked smugly. "That's right. Mums can use breast pump to store milk for caregivers to use," he grinned cockily.

Turning to Effie, Haymitch said, "I think you're in expert hands. I'll wait for you by the cafe two doors down."

Haymitch glared at the young man and turned to walk away.

"Felix," Effie sighed, "you've driven him away."

XxX

Haymitch spent about an hour sitting sullenly by the café, waiting for Effie and her bothersome cousin. He had never met any of her family members saved for the aunt who had expressed her disgust at the thought of Effie marrying him during their wedding. He wondered what sort of bizarre family she had and his thoughts ultimately drifted to his child.

There was a very strong possibility that his child would grew up just like them if Effie were to raise the child at the Capitol, away from him. He found the idea frightening. Haymitch tried to imagine a small little girl in a dress too extravagant for a child with jewelleries adorning her or a little boy pampered by his Uncle Felix. Neither of those scenarios appealed to him.

Perhaps Effie would not be opposed to him visiting their child once in a while - just to make sure that everything was right and proper. He would need to discuss the issue with Effie.

When Effie finally sought him out, she had on with her two bags worth of new items that Felix helped her carry. He bade them farewell saying that he needed to be elsewhere and promised to visit District Twelve, if he could.

"I should hope not," Haymitch muttered loud enough for Felix to hear.

"Well, aren't you a little ray of sunshine?" Felix replied and attempted to kiss his cheeks as was customary. Effie pulled her cousin back and shook her head.

"Are all your family members like that?" Haymitch asked, carrying her shopping bags without being told to.

That act did not go unnoticed and Effie smiled to herself.

"No. He is amongst the few that I could tolerate and we grew up together. His brother, the one in District Four, isn't so bad, either."

"Ah. The rest are terrible then, I take it."

"What about you, Haymitch? Do you have any cousins or relatives?"

"No one," he answered. "Eff? Who would help you look after the baby when you return to the Capitol?"

Effie gave him a sharp look and stared down at her shoes. She thought they were making progress; that he was beginning to care about them but Effie had always been foolish. It seemed to her that he still wanted them away from his life when the law was repealed.

"I'm – I haven't thought about it. Perhaps an aunt," she answered brusquely and hurried away from him to the ticketing booth at the train station.

Effie was oddly quiet during the entire ride home to District Twelve. When he tried talking to her or asked if she wanted anything for lunch, she had given him simple one word answers which frustrated him.

"You know what, Eff? If you're gonna be a bitch to me, then I'm going to the bar car," he growled. "I'll see you when we alight."

 


	15. Chapter 15

The metal hinges of their front gate creaked noisily as Effie pushed it open with her hips, her arms full with paper bags containing her provisions.

"Haymitch, you need to do something about this gate! I've told you to oil it since last month," she said, as she walked past him into their house.

"I'll get to it," he grumbled, stomping on the earth beneath his feet where he had just dumped a whole lot of fertilizers for Effie's apple tree. The sole reason he was helping her with the gardening was largely due to the unsettling feeling he had ever since they returned home from the Capitol earlier that week. Effie had not been speaking to him much and he did not want to risk another few weeks of them not speaking to each other again.

"Did you get more groceries? Weren't we down at the market two days ago?" he shouted after her, mumbling under his breath about Effie not knowing the concept of saving money.

She waved her hand at him, reappearing again moments later.

"Do you have anything planned for this afternoon?"

Effie trailed after him as he walked over to his geese pen and started fussing over it. She stood a safe distance away. Effie wasn't really fond of his pets. They were obnoxious, rude and ostensibly loud at all the wrong hours of the morning.

"Just like you," Haymitch said when she complained about his geese once.

"Haymitch," she called out for his attention when he did not answer her question. "If you haven't got anything pressing for the rest of the day, do you want to accompany me to the clinic?"

He tilted his head to side, wondering for a second if he had heard her wrongly. Effie had never before invited him along to one of her appointments.

"Nah, you go ahead, Effs, I've got to fix this," he replied without bothering to turn around to look at her, tugging on the metal wiring of the pen for added emphasis.

He could hear her exhaled loudly behind him. Effie was annoyed at how it seemed as though he had just chosen his geese over herself and his own child. Still, she kept her composure and tried to persuade him. Effie had never lost sight of her goal – to make Haymitch at least care for the baby – and she needed to be delicate or run the risk of him shutting down and cutting them off completely.

"You want to be there today. It'll be an experience, I promise. Please, come with me. It'll be nice for the doctor to meet you, too," she persuaded him slowly.

"It's just the clinic, sweetheart. What possible experience are you even talking about?"

In the end, Effie had to resort to bribing him with alcohol. She swore that the next time he drank she will keep her mouth shut, not complain about the smell, and make herself scarce from the room. It took him a second to consider the deal, knowing that it was too good to let it go since she whine a lot about the smell ever since she became pregnant.

"If that is the case, my queen, then lead the way," Haymitch mocked.

"Stop calling me your queen whenever I succeed in making you do something," she admonished him.

XxX

Effie's hand was in his as they walked through the quiet corridor towards the room. He had grabbed her hand without even realizing as they crossed the road towards the hospital and had not let it go since. Effie kept quiet, relishing the rare feeling of closeness between them.

"Effie!" the doctor greeted with a friendly smile on her face as she gestured for them to enter. "Come on in. Oh, you must be Effie's husband!"

Haymitch nodded, extending his hand to the brunette in a long white coat. "Haymitch Abernathy."

"It's nice to finally meet you," she grinned. "I don't believe you've been here before. I'm Dr. Ashley Bell."

"First time, yes," he glanced around nervously.

Haymitch hated hospitals or clinics ever since his Games but he was used to them. He spent days recuperating from his stomach wound after he won and he had been in an out of the clinic at the Games Headquarters whenever he had been too drunk and needed help. Dr. Bell's clinic was unlike anything he had ever seen. There were charts pasted on the walls depicting the fetus at various stages of pregnancies. Haymitch sat down next to Effie and opted to keep his mouth shut as he listened in to their conversation.

"I saw you last month," Dr. Bell consulted her notes, "and everything was as it should be. So how are you today, Effie?"

"Still with the morning sickness, I'm afraid. And I can't stand certain smells, it makes me sick."

Dr. Bell nodded and jotted the information down on the medical sheet in front of her. "For most women, it will usually get better by the second trimester, which… would be just in a few weeks' time for you!"

Effie was directed to the examination table. When she had settled down on it, she beckoned for Haymitch to stand next to her.

"You want to be here for this," she whispered, offering him a small smile.

Haymitch shrugged, watching intently as Dr. Bell began to apply cooling gel on Effie's stomach. His eyes shifted to the screen and frowned at the image that had appeared on it, trying but failing to make sense of what he was seeing. Then he heard it – a soft steady rhythm, repeating itself like a drum beat in the room.

"Is that… I thought that sounded like …. Are those heartbeats?" he breathed out, finally.

"Yes, they are," Dr. Bell answered cheerily.

"Oh," Effie said, sounding amazed. "It sounds so perfect. I – oh god, this is real. She's really alive. She does exist!"

Effie was gushing and making little sense. He had known, of course, that the baby was alive, but he understood what Effie was trying to say - being in that room and listening to the beats that signified a life brought on a whole new meaning to the word 'alive'.

She clasped his hand in hers and held it to her chest.

"Can you hear it?"

"I'm not deaf," he mumbled. "It sounds – don't you think that it sounds like a horse galloping across a field?"

"Haymitch! My baby girl is not a horse – don't be rude!" she snapped at him.

Haymitch was about to retort when Dr. Bell called for their attention.

"Wait a second," she frowned, cocking her head to the side, and moving the instrument back and forth rapidly on Effie's stomach.

"Is there a problem, doctor? Is something wrong?" Effie asked worriedly.

"No. Nothing's wrong. Just listen carefully."

"I'm hearing the same thing as I heard earlier," Haymitch said.

"Pay close attention," the doctor said softly. "Don't you hear it? That's two different set of heartbeats."

XxX

Effie blinked, confusion written all over her features. She turned to look at Haymitch for some sort of guidance or comfort, he wasn't certain at the moment. Haymitch ignored her and did as the doctor said. Now that the doctor had pointed it out, his hearing began to pick up the two distinct heartbeats echoing each other at different timings.

He raised both eyebrows in astonishment. His head swiveled to the side and looked questioningly at the doctor.

"Is the baby abnormal?"

"Not at all!" the doctor chuckled.

"You said two heartbeats and I _heard_  two heartbeats. What does that even mean?"

"Twins," Effie exhaled, realization finally dawning on her.

The doctor beamed up at the pair of them and nodded in confirmation. She congratulated them both but Haymitch was in a state of shock so it flew right by him. His ears were buzzing and he felt lightheaded. Haymitch gripped the edges of the examination table tightly.

"No, no," he mumbled. "No, no, absolutely not."

He gave out a slightly hysterical laugh and shook his head.

"Haymitch?" Effie called out worriedly.

"She's not having twins," he jabbed his index finger towards Effie. "How is that even possible? It's not possible, is it? Is it?"

Dr. Bell was unfazed by Haymitch's repeated, persistent questions. She launched into an explanation about monozygotic and dizygotic twins which Haymitch promptly interrupted with a rather rhetorical question – "So there are two babies?"

"You don't seem happy at all," Dr. Bell remarked. "All my years and experience, nearly every couple I knew was ecstatic at the prospect of having twins. I understand that you're concerned but – "

"I don't even want a child," Haymitch said out loud.

Effie shot him a dirty look and ordered him out of the room if he was going to act slightly off his rocker. Haymitch jumped at the chance and nodded.

"I need a moment," he raised his palm in an awkward apology to the doctor, "too much to take in. Just – I'll be outside, Eff."

Once the door closed behind him, Effie hopped off the examination table and adjusted her dress carefully before sitting down on the chair across from her obstetrician. She had been too distracted by Haymitch's rare panic attack that she had not really managed to process the news. Haymitch had been adamant that it was not possible for her to have twins. Now the same thought was nagging at the back of her mind.

"That's not possible though, is it? I mean, we did the ultrasound when I was 5 weeks pregnant and you could have seen if I was carrying two, wouldn't you?"

"There are cases of "hidden twins", very rare but it happened. When the ultrasound was done on your fifth week of gestation, it was still early on in the pregnancy. You have to understand that the ultrasound provides a picture of the womb which could sometimes be misleading. The second embryo could have been shadowed by the first. I clearly heard two heartbeats today and I am very certain you're having twins."

"I see," Effie replied in a daze.

The room was quiet. Dr. Bell allowed Effie some time to soak in the news. For a few minutes, the only sound was the soft stroke of pen scratching against paper as Dr. Bell began to note down her findings for the day. When Effie finally looked up, she had a sloppy smile on her face.

"When will I be able to see them on the ultrasound?" she asked, a hint of excitement creeping into her voice.

"At your next appointment, we'll do an ultrasound again and I'm certain the other embryo will no longer be hidden. You'll get to see them both. In the meantime, I'll need to do a blood test to check for chromosomal abnormalities."

XxX

When he heard the door open and Effie's voice saying goodbye to her doctor, Haymitch looked up and pushed himself off the wall he was leaning against. He had spent his time alone pacing the corridor agitatedly and staring into space.

"Are you calm now?" Effie asked with a slight teasing in her voice.

"I'm still in shock."

"Me too," she admitted, pulling her coat tighter around her body. "Let's just go home."

"I think I'll take that deal we made before we came here – I need a drink when we get home," he told her.

True to his words, Haymitch took his bottle of whiskey and brought it out to the front porch. He settled down on the steps leading up to the house and began drinking. With the open space, the stench of liquor wouldn't linger in the house and it wouldn't leave Effie feeling sick and nauseated.

He thought back to what happened at the clinic. It was true what Effie said, it was an experience. With his eyes closed, Haymitch rested his forehead on his knees, a lone finger swirling around the rim of his whiskey bottle as the soft sound of the heartbeats echoed in his mind. He could still hear it loud and clear, as clear as the quaking sound his geese was currently making. Hearing the source of life beating in that room - strong and steady - had shaken him to his core. It was so real and overwhelming. He had helped create those little things Effie was carrying and it felt surreal. It was unbelievable.

Haymitch had no idea how long he sat out on the porch, but Effie came out looking for him as the moon rose, telling him that she had made dinner. He waved her off and she went back in, eating dinner alone. Haymitch stood up and staggered towards his geese pen. In an attempt to take his mind off Effie's pregnancy, Haymitch continued where he left off, fixing the pen until his shirt was drenched in sweat and the crickets started chirping long into the night.

When he finally climbed into bed, Effie was already asleep but she woke up when she felt the mattress dipped under the added weight and the covers rustled as he slipped in.

"I showered – I don't think I smell of liquor," he spoke softly, "go back to sleep."

"Are you okay, Haymitch? Are you angry?"

He shrugged. "I'm not. I've been thinking - that's all."

Effie looked at him expectantly, waiting for an explanation or an elaboration. He knew she would not be going back to sleep anytime soon.

"The law asked for two children, yes? I guess we've done our part," Haymitch explained. "And I supposed, it's good for you, too. Save you the trouble of being pregnant again. It's sort of like those deals I saw at the Capitol sometimes - buy one get one free; one pregnancy, two children."

Effie laughed and smacked him with a pillow.

"It's true, though, isn't it?" Haymitch insisted. "If you think about it, it saves me the pain of having to deal with you being pregnant again in the future."

She buried her face in her pillow, chuckling to herself. "You're unbelievable, Haymitch."

Haymitch gave her a half smile, fluffing his pillow and turning off the bedside lamp.

"After how you reacted at the clinic, I expected you to be – well, I don't know exactly. But you're taking it in remarkably well, for a grumpy person like yourself.

He rolled his eyes. "I acknowledge the fact that there's nothing to be done at the moment. I hope they're not girls. I can't deal with two other miniature versions of Effie Trinket in my life."

Her lips curled upwards in amusement.  _In my life…_  She found herself slightly filled with hope. He almost seemed prepared for them to be around in his life and that was a start.

XxX

Things went on relatively normal for the pair of them. Effie still insisted on working at the factory and Haymitch busied himself with his geese. He finally managed to fix the front gate after a month of procrastination and Effie had beamed at him in satisfaction when she came home that afternoon to find the gate swung open noiselessly.

All too soon, Effie was reminded of the very real problem that existed and the reason why she was married to Haymitch in the first place. The phone call Haymitch received that night disrupted their momentary peace.

"It looks like District Five has found their voice," said Plutarch.

"Yeah? What happened in Five?"

"They found an abandoned baby by the street yesterday morning – barely days old, as I was told. They managed to track down the mother. Only problem is – she refused to acknowledge her child."

"What happened to the father?"

"Went missing," Plutarch answered, "they searched the entire district and couldn't find him."

Haymitch cursed loudly. "That is madness – leaving a baby on the streets like that! How is a child supposed to survive if nobody had found it?"

"It's a girl. She's being looked after. A middle age couple has volunteered to take her in, for the moment. There are reports that the mother is suffering from post-partum depression – said she can't take care of the baby."

"Post – what the hell is that?"

Plutarch sighed. "Depression that affects women, sometimes men, after childbirth."

"Hold on," he said into the receiver, "Effie! Hey, Effs, you know about this post … postpartum depression?"

"Yes," she answered, crossing her arms in front of her.

"Okay, just – hopefully you'll be alright," he said before returning to the conversation with Plutarch.

"Worried, are we?" Plutarch teased.

Haymitch ignored him and glanced up at Effie who was still standing there listening to the one-sided conversation.

"How long more do we have before we can submit an appeal?"

"In 3 months."

Right after they had submitted their case which was summarily rejected three months ago, the Council had put out a decree stating that an appeal could only be taken up six months from the date of the last unsuccessful appeal. Plutarch and Haymitch had used that time to build up an even stronger submission and the news that District Two had voiced out their unhappiness a few months back had certainly lent weight to their cause. Haymitch's mind was working rapidly as he tried to figure out a way to use the current situation in District Five to help with the appeal.

"3 months is a long time," he stated. "What if there are more cases like the one in Five?"

"It might work in our favour, don't you think?"

Haymitch cringed. He had known Plutarch for quite a while but it slipped his mind how that man sometimes had a knack of saying the truth without actually noticing how blunt or harsh it sound to others.

"Say, we do what Effie suggested while waiting for the time to be up? We incite some general unhappiness across Panem and shake the Council a little?" Haymitch's voice had taken on a slightly maniacal tone and in front of him, Effie shook her head.

Haymitch could hear Plutarch's heavy breathing on the phone, and he could imagine that man thinking through his suggestion.

"Very well," he agreed at last. "If you could send Peeta out to the Capitol to meet me, we'll start the interviewing as soon as possible. I think if word gets out that we're interviewing a handful of those affected by the law, it would make others volunteer to be heard and like you say, may be rattle the Council a little. But, just to let you know, I won't be bringing the tape over the Paylor or the Council just yet. Let them wonder for a bit."

"I'm fine with that. And, I'm coming with Peeta," Haymitch said before hanging up.

"You're leaving again?" Effie spoke up.

"Yeah, yeah I am. I just need to talk to Peeta about it. Not anytime soon, though, next week, most likely," he said, hoping it would put her at ease.

"But – My appointment with Dr. Bell is next week. She's doing the ultrasound again and we could – we could see the twins. Don't you want to go?"

Haymitch froze and shifted his gaze. He had forgotten all about it.

"Can't you postpone it? If you can't then that's fine, go ahead without me, it's not like I could make out the shapes of them during the scan anyway. I probably wouldn't understand," he told her indifferently. "It wouldn't make a difference whether or not I'm there. I've got to do this, Eff, this is important."

"But we're important, too," she said mostly to herself since Haymitch had rushed off from their house to go over to Peeta's house.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I debated back and forth about the twins before finally deciding that it would be interesting to write Haymitch who was in complete denial about Effie's pregnancy initially trying to come to terms with having two children. Future chapters will be fun to write, I expect.
> 
> Haven't touched the law in a few chapters & it's back :)


	16. Chapter 16

The week before Peeta and Haymitch were due to conduct the interviews was a busy period for Effie. Both she and Plutarch had taken on the task of calling up the couples whose names were listed on the document Effie managed to procure a few months before. Only those who consented to be being interviewed were slotted in for one.

The plan was simple enough. They needed to get on record the opinions of the masses and the way the law had impacted or affected their life both good and bad, and the social impact that they noticed happening around their district since the law was implemented.

Haymitch had been surprised by the response. The list of those who agreed to be a part of it was more than expected and in light of the numbers of names on the list, Plutarch had suggested that the interview be split into two different dates. Haymitch had agreed on it although Peeta had hesitated for a minute, claiming that Katniss was nearing her due date in a few weeks.

"That's in a few weeks!" said Haymitch, not understanding what the worry was all about.

"Babies rarely arrive on time or on schedule," Peeta muttered.

After some assurance from both Haymitch and Plutarch that the second part of the interview could be scheduled after Katniss had given birth or right before, Peeta came to a compromise – they would go for the first round of interview and evaluate the situation first before deciding on the second date.

XxX

A day before he was due to leave, Effie occupied herself by helping him pack his bag for the trip simply because she needed something to do.

Haymitch was standing next to her, picking out the clothes Effie had suggested he brought with him. Nodding towards her stomach, Haymitch commented as he handed a shirt of his choosing for her to fold and keep in the bag, "you're starting to show."

Effie paused whatever she was doing, straightened up and walked over to the full length mirror, critically examining herself. "Are you saying I'm fat?"

He frowned having sense that it was a possible trick question.

"I said nothing of that nature. I said you're showing. As in, I noticed a bump. But if you're asking, yes, I've also noticed that you've put on some weight."

She gasped at the honesty of his statement.

"Not fat," he added quickly, "just... You know, gained weight that's all. And that's perfectly normal, read it in your brochure."

"I didn't know you could be so observant and knowledgeable, Haymitch," she smiled at him. "I wish you could come with me for my next appointment."

There it was again – the appointment. He had lost count the number of times she had brought up the appointment. If he didn't know better, it was almost as if she was trying to guilt trip him into staying at Twelve till her appointment had passed but he knew she was just thinking out loud – wishful thinking.

"It's just an appointment, you'll be fine. I've got work to do. I'll call you once in a while, alright?"

"It's different if you're there," she said quietly.

"The last time I was there you ordered me out of the room."

Effie gave him a rueful smile at the memory of Haymitch having his panic attack.

"You can call me if there's anything interesting that the doctor said about the …. twins," he finished.

Haymitch still wasn't used to referring to the babies as twins. He still had not fully comprehended the fact that in a few months there would be two new lives in the Abernathy household.

His thoughts came to a screeching halt. When did he begin to think of them as a family unit?

 _This was a temporary arrangement_ , he reminded himself,  _at least until the law is gone_. They are his children but there was no need to implicate himself - especially his feelings - with Effie any more than was necessary. He was only trying to protect himself for when she return to the Capitol.

XxX

District Seven burnt with the heat of the unrelenting midday sun. He had just landed on District Seven two hours ago and was ready to head back to the hovercraft where the air was much cooler. It didn't help that he was exhausted beyond belief after six days of constant travelling. He craved for his own bed and the comfort of drinking leisurely out at his front porch without Plutarch telling him he could not meet people while smelling of liquor.

"I will give you an interview. But you never asked me," Johanna said, crossing her arms in front of her.

The shirt Haymitch was wearing was sticking to his skin. He was uncomfortable but Johanna was oblivious to it. Haymitch downed the glass of water she had provided for him and the small crew he had and took his time answering her.

"I didn't ask you for a reason. I don't want Paylor to think I'm gathering the former Victors to go against her, you understand?"

"It's not her I'm against," she clarified. "It's the law and I only want to speak the truth."

"Let Gale speak on your behalf," Haymitch placated her. "You get along well with him?"

She shrugged and Haymitch had a distinct feeling that he probably wouldn't like what he was about to hear.

"Yeah. More or less. He taught me how to set up snares, I taught him a thing or two about axes. I think he likes watching me wield the axe, gave him some sort of thrill," she smirked at him.

"Right," replied Haymitch, refusing to rise up to Johanna's teasing although the images of her and Gale did invade his mind.

"What about your Capitol princess? Read in the papers that she's pregnant," she said. "They're yours?"

Haymitch scowled at her, feeling slighted by her question.

"Of course they're mine," he spat. "What are you trying to say?"

Johanna smiled at him over her shoulders before looking out the window to watch Peeta talking to Gale outside their home.

"You know what it's like in the Capitol before the Games?" she asked. "Sex was a way to pass the time and I think now… Even with the law…"

"Sure, I know about it," Haymitch answered, thinking back to his encounter with Adria Stone.

"So, she's been faithful to you?"

The question struck chord in him. Haymitch tilted his head to the side and watched Johanna as she leaned against the wall, waiting for him reply.

"Yes," he answered off the beat. It filled him with a strange sense of pride to know that he could answer Johanna's question without having to doubt Effie at all.

"And have you?"

Johanna narrowed her eyes at him when he took slightly longer to answer.

"Yes, not that I have to answer to the likes of you or anything like that," he muttered.

"Lucky."

"What's the matter?" Haymitch asked when he picked up the slightly despondent tone in her voice.

Johanna shrugged again and shuffled over to sit across from him. She looked at him briefly before averting her gaze elsewhere.

"I don't know. I think he has someone, but I can't tell for sure."

"Jo – "

"I don't know, Haymitch," she sighed. "We get along - Gale and I - but there's no affection there."

He opened his mouth to say something but shut it again when he realised he had nothing comforting to offer to the young woman.

Then her eyes blazed with the stubborn familiarity Haymitch was used to seeing during their time as mentors together. Her voice took on a hard edge when she spoke next.

"I want this to end. You end this law, Haymitch. Promise me. And if you need any sort of help at all, I'm here."

He never thought Johanna Mason, hardened by the brutality of the Games - the proud, slightly stubborn and on edge girl from Seven - would ever want such a thing as affection. His mother had told him once that no man could lead a solitary life but that had been his life for more than two decades. It wasn't easy but he had just grown use to it. Perhaps deep within that tough exterior Johanna projected to the world was a woman crying for a little bit of attention and love.

"When are you going back to Two?" Haymitch queried.

From what little he gathered, just like him and Effie, Johanna and Gale had a house in both District Two and Seven respectively. Johanna had refused to give up her home where she had grown up to move to a different district all together. Her house remained and she would sometimes return to District Seven with or without Gale.

"End of the week."

They said nothing for a long while. Haymitch pressed the cool glass on his cheeks, desperately wishing he could take a cold shower. The heat was unbearable. He was desperately wishing for Peeta to hurry with the interview and gather all the information he needed so they could board the hovercraft and return home.

"She's having twins," he broke the silence, more out of the need to distract himself from the desperate need to go home than the need to make small talk.

"You're having twins?" Johanna repeated the questions. She looked at him disbelievingly.

"Yeah, we are. Weird isn't it? Me - a father. Those poor kids."

Johanna laughed. She sat back on the chair, with a hand covering her mouth as she laughed at him.

"You and Effie – parents to two kids at the first try?" she chuckled. "Good luck, you're going to need it."

Haymitch pretended to be annoyed. "Stop laughing at me, you idiot."

It took her a while to calm down. "To be honest, I think you'll do fine," she said earnestly. "You'd be an okay father. You've been doing it all these time anyway. Being a father figure, I mean."

Haymitch looked confused, his brows crinkled as he tried to make sense of what Johanna just said.

"It'll be like back then, when you look after me and Finnick, yeah?" she said. A dark cloud settled over her when she mentioned Finnick's name. Johanna and Finnick had been close and had formed a friendship much like he had with Chaff. When she found out Finnick's fate, Johanna's rage was a sight to behold. Haymitch had witnessed it as she blamed herself, repeatedly telling him that if she had been stronger and had passed the test Coin had set out, she could have been chosen to go with the squad to the Capitol. She could have done something to help Finnick and despite repeated reassurance from Haymitch that there was nothing she could have done, Johanna led her life believing otherwise.

"And you did the same with Katniss and Peeta," she continued. "We were your kids, but we're fine now, Haymitch. We're okay. The twins? They're your blood and I'm pretty damn sure, you wouldn't let shit happen to them."

Haymitch clutched his hand to his chest, and with a mocking smile, he said, "your faith in me is astounding, not to mention misplaced."

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever. But you've got Effie. She'll be a good mother. I believe in her."

"How so?" he asked incredulously, raising an eyebrow in question.

Johanna did not answer and Haymitch did not press her for one thinking that whatever it was, she probably did not want to talk about it. She surprised him when she spoke up about her imprisonment, a topic that was as sensitive to her as it was for Effie.

"She looked after me and Annie in prison," she spoke quietly. "I don't like to think about it. But there are things you just don't forget. When they electrocuted me that first night and threw me back in the cell, Effie was there. She had not been transferred to a different cell yet. She saw the state I was in and laid my head in her lap. Your Capitol princess looked out for me that night and the days that followed until they ripped her away from us. She tried to stop the bleeding from my wounds even though I knew she knew nothing much about first aid."

"She never told me any of this," Haymitch said.

"She couldn't. I told her I'll kill her if she repeated it to anyone," Johanna grinned. "I might have scare her with my threat of death. Who knows? But she never breathed a word about what happened in that cell to anyone."

"What happened to her in that prison, Jo?"

Johanna looked at him in surprise. "Don't you know?"

"No, I told you she never said anything," he shook his head. "She was in a pretty bad shape when we got her out, that's all I know. I never knew what happened. She never brought it up, I never asked and I don't think she wants to talk about it."

"Sorry, Mitch," she said. He rolled his eyes at the nickname that he only allowed Johanna, Finnick and Chaff to use and get away with. "Can't tell you. It's not really my place. Boy or girl?"

"What?"

"Your kids."

"I don't know," he answered. "Is today Friday? Her appointment is today. Can I borrow your phone?"

XxX

He called her twice and didn't get an answer. The third time he called, Effie picked up when he had nearly given up on her ever answering.

"Hey, Eff," he greeted. "Took you long enough."

"Haymitch!" she exclaimed, sounding so pleasantly surprised that he could almost picture her smiling through the phone. "I'm sorry, I was doing something."

"I'm at Seven; at Johanna's house."

"Oh, right on schedule then," she said. "Oh, say hello to her for me, will you?"

"Sure. So… did you see them on that thing… the scan? You saw the twins?"

"I did!" she said excitedly. "Oh, Haymitch, I saw them. It was so clear. I'll show the sonogram to you when you get back. When will you be back?"

"Tomorrow," he said, cradling the phone on his shoulder and glancing at Johanna who was giving him an amused look from where she was sitting. "So we're really having two?"

"You know, Haymitch, it's really nice to hear you say "we". It's like… It's good to know that you've considered yourself to be a part of -," Effie stopped abruptly, suddenly aware that she had said it out loud. "I – Yes, to answer your questions, yes, we're really having two."

Haymitch breathed out. "Unbelievable. And what about the gender? Johanna was asking."

"I don't know. I've decided that I don't want to know. I want it to be a surprise."

"Are you sure? I don't know much about pregnancy but don't we have to think about the names before they're born? Logically, speaking? Or is it going to be gender neutral?"

It seemed unlike Effie to not want to be as prepared as possible. He thought that she would definitely want to know the gender of the babies, it would make everything easier.

"I thought about that. We could pick out names for both boys and girls! That would be fun, don't you think?"

"No, I don't think it will," he muttered. "That's double the work."

"Well, if you want to know, you can," she sighed at his reluctance. "Dr. Bell will be able to tell you at the next appointment but just… just keep it to yourself."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The bit on Johanna was to show that there are other victors/rebels apart from Haymitch that is affected by the law. As to why she is married to Gale? He was the first person to come to mind so instead of creating an OC to be Johanna's husband, it's Gale.


	17. Chapter 17

It was mid-day when he arrived at District Twelve. His journey home would have taken much longer if it was not for the hovercraft. Peeta had gone off to find Katniss at the bakery, so Haymitch walked home alone.

Much like how it had been when he returned from the Capitol the last time, the front door was unlocked so he let himself in. It always slipped her mind to lock the front door whenever he was not at home, taking her safety for granted since it was only them and the Mellark next door. He had reminded her again and again that since the war, there had been people all over Panem in District Twelve and not all of them could be trusted.

He climbed the steps two at time, determined to give her another earful before he forgot all about the issue with the door. He found Effie attempting to redecorate one of the unused rooms in their house that was right next to their bedroom. Haymitch had only been in it once or twice since he moved into Victor's Village.

She was standing on a ladder with a hand resting on her stomach while in the other, she held on to a paint roller which she was using to paint the walls. Music played softly in the background. He stood frozen on the door way when he noticed the way she was precariously perched on the ladder, stretching as far as she could to get to the top corner of the wall.

"Effie," he called out softly, not wanting to startle the pregnant woman.

Her ears perked at the sound of his voice and turned towards the door. When she saw him, Effie's face broke into a smile. Slowly, she climbed down from the ladder, walked towards the door and wrapped her arms around him.

"You're back," she said happily, looking up at him with her arms still looped around his neck.

Haymitch cleared his throat, surprised at the unexpected hug. Her cheeks turned red. Effie apologized as she hastily stepped back and gave him his personal space.

"I'm sorry," she said, sounding flustered. "I don't know why I just … I miss you."

The admission was done quietly but Haymitch heard it nonetheless. He was sure it was the hormones but he did notice a change in Effie ever since he comforted her the day she found out about the news article about them that was published a few weeks ago. Effie was more comfortable around him and was less hesitant about initiating contact between them. He found her leaning on his sides sometimes when they sat next to each other on the sofa or sleeping slightly closer to him instead of at the edge of the bed like she had been doing during the first few months of their marriage.

"What are you doing?" he nodded towards the paint roller in her hand.

"Oh, this?" she lifted the roller still dripping wet with paint and did a little choking noise when she saw the paint dotting the area on the floor that she had not covered with canvas. Sighing, Haymitch plucked it out of her hand, crossed the room to where the ladder was and put it on the canvas that she had thankfully spread before starting to paint on that side of the room.

"I was painting the room."

"That's why it took you so long to answer the phone yesterday," he muttered to himself. "Why are you painting?"

She smiled sheepishly. "The babies need a room of their own, don't they? Do you want them to sleep with us? I don't think you would so I decided to turn this room into a nursery."

"We didn't talk about this," he pointed out.

It was true. The children needed a room of their own. There wasn't enough space in their own bedroom to put up a baby cot much less two for the twins.  _And, toys… Children play with toys, don't they?_  Still, he wished Effie would discuss it with him before doing as she pleased. This was his house after all.

"How are we to talk about this when you're always occupied with the law?" said Effie, sounding slightly bitter.

"Are the twins boys?" he asked again.

"No," Effie frowned, "Are they? Did you talk to Dr. Bell already? Haymitch, I told you I don't want to know their gender. Why did you have to -"

"I don't know if they're boys! I'm asking because - why are the walls blue, then?"

"They're not blue! It's turquoise."

"Same difference," he snapped at her.

He ignored her and began to inspect the half painted walls. Haymitch made a noise of disapproval when he noticed that the windows were only half open. If it had been fully opened, the room would have been well ventilated with the fresh air outside blowing in. He shot her an annoyed look that made her stomach drop. Whenever he looked at her that way, it always made her feel like she had done something wrong.

"What's wrong?" asked a very worried looking Effie.

"You're not painting the room. You'll stop what you're doing. Don't argue with me," he stated. "Look at the room Effie, it's poorly ventilated and you're here inhaling the noxious vapours from the paint. Do you even know what you're doing?"

"I know what I'm doing!" she retorted. "Maybe I'm just not doing a very good job of it but you don't have to be so condescending."

Haymitch glared at her. "In your condition, inhaling vapours from the paint is hardly healthy. Why can't you think before you do something?"

"Oh," she said, finally realizing why Haymitch was so agitated. "I – "

"Didn't I buy you some masks a few weeks back? You could have at least covered half your face with it, if you insist on painting the room."

Effie opened her mouth to say something but she realized that when Haymitch started ranting, he could go on forever, very much like her late grandmother.

"And climbing on that ladder? That's just asking for trouble."

She hid a smile. Haymitch may be annoyed her with but underneath it, she understood why he was behaving that way. He cared enough to reprimand her about being negligent and it was one of his odd little ways of showing it. With Haymitch, his actions spoke volumes.

XxX

She listened to him and stopped painting the room. The nursery was barely completed. What little furniture that was originally in the room had been moved out and fortunately for the five months pregnant woman, the room wasn't as dusty and dirty because she had thoroughly cleaned Haymitch's house when she moved in. All she did while Haymitch was away was to wipe the windows and sweep the floor. She had only started painting when Haymitch returned home that afternoon which meant that a majority of the walls were still a dull, with black stains on the white walls.

That night, as they sat down for dinner, they came to a compromise. Admitting that the children could not all fit into their room, Haymitch agreed to her plans to change the spare room into a nursery. He also agreed to do the painting as long as Effie left him alone to paint at his own time and target, without trying to keep him on schedule or breathe down his neck at each turn.

"But you have to get it done before I give birth!" she pointed out.

"Of course, Effie," he said, deadpanned.

"And before the furniture are delivered."

Effie was contented with her role. She would be picking out the furniture and she could already imagine where the cribs would be, and where she would place the chest drawers. She pictured a corner with a rocking chair where she could sit down with a baby in her arms and sing lullabies until he or she had fallen asleep. While she was daydreaming, she could almost see Haymitch watching them quietly, maybe standing over a crib, trying to put one of his children to sleep. She smiled to herself until Haymitch called her out on it.

"You look ridiculous smiling to yourself like that," he said, biting through a chicken drumstick.

Effie wasn't even annoyed. She merely smiled at him and excused herself to make a quick phone call to her cousin, Felix. Together, they made arrangements to have the furniture delivered to District Twelve once she had picked out what she liked.

"Send me the catalogue, will you? I still need to make sure Haymitch is agreeable with what I choose."

XxX

The catalogue arrived in their mail box a few days later. Haymitch was on the sofa with his legs stretched out on the coffee table. He quickly put them down when Effie walked in with a tall glass of her homemade fruit yoghurt and curled up next to him.

Her all curled up on his side was becoming a much more frequent occurrence and it was startling for him to realize that he actually didn't mind it that much. There first time she leaned against him, Haymitch had been puzzled. He pointed out that there were more than enough space on the sofa without her having to sit so close to him and Effie had not taken that suggestion kindly. After a while, he just let it happen even if he felt awkward. She would simply just settle down next to him, take his arm and slung it over her shoulders. Initially, it was so foreign and strange to him that he sat stiff on the sofa until she moved away. He learned to relax over time but he still had no idea what to do with his hands whenever she put it around herself or what Effie expected him to do at all.

"I think this white crib will look pretty against the turquoise wall," she pointed out to one of the pictures.

"Buy something that will be sure to fit into your apartment at the Capitol," Haymitch reminded her. "You can turn the guest bedroom I usually sleep in into their nursery."

Effie went rigid and was strangely quiet afterwards. She snapped the catalogue closed, put it aside, sipped her drink slowly and switched on the television.

"Did you hear what I said?" Haymitch asked, looking down at her curiously.

"I did."

The phone rang but all she did was look at it briefly before focusing her attention back to the show playing on the screen.

"That could be Felix," Haymitch pointed out. "Aren't you gonna pick it up? It could be about the kids' furniture."

"No."

The ringing went on endlessly. Huffing in frustration at the noise, Haymitch untangled himself from her and stood up but the ringing died before he could answer. Haymitch frowned at her. He could already feel the tension building in the room and sensed that something was wrong.

"Now what the hell is the problem? You were excited about getting furniture ten minutes ago. What happened in between to make you act all - "

"Things happened within that ten minutes," she replied brusquely.

He growled. "What? Okay, is this you being pregnant or you being your normal insane – "

Effie put her drink down on the table rather forcefully, crossed her arms and glared at him from where she was seated on the sofa. "I don't want to decorate the nursery anymore. You don't even have to bother painting them. I don't want to buy new furniture or do anything to it. Leave it the way it is!"

"What is the problem, Effie?" Haymitch asked in measured tone. He took a deep calming breath and tried to control his temper. "You're the one who wanted to turn that room into nursery and now, suddenly, you don't? What change?"

"You spoil everything, Haymitch. That's what's wrong. I'm just trying to do something nice and fun, get you involve in it and what did you do? You had to remind me that it's all for nothing because sooner or later we're going to get a divorce!  _Buy something that will fit your apartment,_ " she mimicked. "Because, of course, what would you need baby cribs for when you're going to wash your hands off us!"

Her chest was heaving and her face was slowly turning red. "Tell me, Haymitch, what's the point of turning that spare room into a nursery? For all I know three months from now, at your next appeal, the law will be dissolved! For all I know, I'll be back at the Capitol giving birth alone! And then I'll be on my own with two children!"

They stared at each other, a silent face off. Effie was on her feet, her hands were fisted and she was shaking. Haymitch gaped at her sudden outburst never having seen her lost her temper so spectacularly like that.

"You won't," he said quietly in an attempt to placate her.

He was angry at the accusation Effie had thrown at him. Of course, he wasn't going to  _wash his hands of them_. He was a responsible man and he knew his responsibilities. But Effie was livid and it would only worsen the situation if he were to lose his temper as well.

 _She's pregnant, Haymitch. Just talk to her calmly,_  he told himself.

"I won't what?"

"You won't be giving birth alone. I'll be there."

Effie gave a bitter laugh. She moved away from him to stand by the window. "Don't make promises you can't keep, Haymitch."

"I promise. I'll be there when you're in labour, and I'll be there to see  _our_  children come into this world."

He reached out for her but she took a step back, eyes glistening as she held on to his gaze stubbornly.

"Effie?"

"I want to believe you. I do. But you need to stop -" she paused and wiped away the tears that she could no longer hold back, "- stop reminding me that this isn't forever."

"I was just trying to be practical, Effs. It will be a waste of money if the furniture won't fit into –"

"No, you're just doing your job. You're just reminding me of who we really are. We're not really a family," she said softly. "We'll never be anything to you because you won't ever allow it."

Her eyes flickered to the long silver chain hanging around his neck; the chain that his girl had given to him so many years ago and one that he still kept close to his heart, quite literally. She gave Haymitch a final dejected look before running up the stairs and into their bedroom.

He slept on the sofa that night.

XxX

Haymitch woke up before she did. He crept up the stairs, purposely avoiding the second step from the top landing that would creak loudly each time it was under any pressure and pushed open the bedroom door silently.

Effie was curled on the bed with a hand resting gently on her stomach. The covers were thrown to the side and even in her sleep, Effie seemed distressed. Her brows were crinkled slightly as if her dreams were as terrible as the fight they had the day before.

Haymitch tiptoed into their bathroom, grabbed his toothbrush and towel, and disappeared into the guest bathroom two doors down. By the time he went down to the kitchen to make himself a cup of coffee, Effie was already awake. She was busying herself in the kitchen.

"You shouldn't drink tea with your meal," Haymitch remarked, "it makes it difficult for your body to absorb iron. I read that in – "

"My book," she cut him off. "I know that but after yesterday, I need my tea."

Haymitch held his tongue and gritted his teeth. When Effie continued to pretend that he wasn't there, he backed out of the kitchen and proceeded to the backyard. Even as he tended to his geese, his mind was preoccupied with a single word Effie had used for the first time in their marriage – divorce.

For all his plans about them separating and going back to their life before the law, he had never once considered a divorce, which was what would most likely happen if his plans were to be successful. He had somehow, in his preoccupation to repeal the law, thought that Effie would simply pack up her bags and return to the Capitol once they were no longer required to be married to each other.

 _Divorce,_  he tested the words on his tongue.  _We're divorced. I'm a divorcee._  He cringed. The words sounded terrible in his mind. As far as he knew, there were hardly any divorces in District Twelve before the law, odd though it might be. Most of the people in Twelve had grown up knowing each other and they usually marry someone they love. It was not to say that there weren't marital problems but it hardly ever come down to a divorce. Most would just live apart for a period of time and get back with each other for the sake of their children. But if the law was repealed, a divorce was the only way out.

"I'm going over to Katniss' house," Effie announced when she found him at the backyard. Without waiting for a response, she walked off.

XxX

Haymitch was absentmindedly flipping through the same catalogue Effie went through the night before as he waited on the line.

"Yes?" a sleepy voice answered.

"Is this Felix?"

"And who is asking?"

"Effie's husband. Not sure if you remember –"

"Haymitch! Of course, I remember you, you handsome devil," he exclaimed jovially suddenly sounding very much awake.

Haymitch squirmed uncomfortably.  _Does he really need to be that way?_

"Listen, I need a favour."

Haymitch didn't like asking for favours. He hated knowing that he was in someone's debt and being in a debt with someone like Felix especially was vexing to him. Still, for Effie's sake, he tried not to let it bother him that much and went on to explain what he needed. Felix was more than happy to oblige.

"I'll see you both in a few days, then!"

With a sigh of relief, Haymitch rested his forehead on the wall only to jerk upright again when he heard the panicky voice of his wife calling for him.

"Haymitch!"

She looked alarmed as she headed straight for him, running in her wedges like a penguin

"What's wrong?" he couldn't help the worry creeping into his voice. He ran his eyes over her body, silently checking for any signs of physical injury that might have befell her. It wasn't the pregnancy then because her hands were not resting on her stomach protectively, something Haymitch noticed she had been doing quite a lot lately.

"You have to come! Katniss is in labour!" she beckoned him, already wheezing and out of breath.

Haymitch stood rooted to the spot.

"Haymitch!" she made a grab for his wrist. "Katniss is in labour. Peeta send me to get you. Hurry, please."

 


	18. Chapter 18

 

Haymitch out ran Effie. She was struggling behind him, trying to keep pace and when she couldn't, she called out for him to slow down. That seemed to jolt him out of his single minded focus on Katniss and he doubled back for her.

"Sorry," he said, taking her by the elbow and guided her up the dirt pathway towards Katniss' house.

He could hear Katniss grunting and found her sitting on a chair with a hand on her rounded belly. She was breathing deeply through her nose. Her eyes flickered up when she heard them but no salutations passed from her lips. Effie disappeared into their kitchen and came out moments later with a wet towel which she pressed on the younger woman's forehead, wiping the perspiration off her face.

"Where's Peeta?" Effie asked, sitting down next to her.

"Up – upstairs," she answered through gritted teeth.

Haymitch hovered at the hallway, his eyes fixed on the two women conversing quietly to each other. He was unsure of himself or if there was anything he could do to help. Haymitch stumbled forward slightly as Peeta barreled down the stairs past Haymitch, muttering a quick apology to the startled man.

"Okay, Katniss. I think I've got everything. You've packed all you needed in this bag, right?" he asked, lifting the bag up in his hand to show it to her.

Katniss nodded and reached out for Peeta. The muscles in his arms bulged as he supported the heavily pregnant woman up from the chair and out towards his truck sitting idly by outside the house.

"Do we follow?" Haymitch asked in all the confusion.

XxX

The hospital in District Twelve had gone through some expansion though it was still one of the smallest hospitals in Panem since its population was still considered relatively small despite the recent influx of immigrants.

Peeta wheeled her into the ward before a nurse took his place, disappearing into the double white doors. The sturdy built young man paused in his track. He turned towards Effie and Haymitch and regarded them quietly with his soft eyes. Between him the time he was reaped and now, Effie and Haymitch had been a parental figure to him and their role, whether they realized it or not, became more evident since Peeta lost his family in the bombing. This wasn't just true for him; it was the same for Katniss too, although she treated Effie more like a friend than a mother figure. But he knew how much Katniss looked up to Haymitch. He was glad that they were there.

"I – Will you stay?"

"We'll be here, Peeta. You should go, Katniss needs you."

With Effie's reassurance, he turned towards Haymitch who nodded imperceptibly. Peeta gave them a grateful smile and hurried after Katniss, leaving the pair alone in the waiting room.

Effie was aware that things between them were still wrought with tension since the fight they had and she found it unsettling to be in the same room as Haymitch given the circumstances.

"We should probably have a bag with all the necessities," Haymitch broke the silence. "Like Peeta."

Effie did not answer him. She left his side to one of the many armchairs lining the walls. He sighed quietly, the fight they had the night before weighed heavily on his mind.

"Effie, I'll be there when it's your turn. You have my word," he tried to guarantee her again as he settled down on the seat next to her.

"We'll see," her tone was strained and cold.

She picked up a random magazine and flipped it open, telling him clearly that there was nothing further to discuss. He gave a frustrated growl before moving from his place next to her to find a seat as far away from her at the opposite end of the room.

XxX

There was nothing else to do except to people-watch. Haymitch was on the brim of tearing his hair out of boredom. From his estimation, they had been waiting for the past five hours.

He lounged by the sofa, staring moodily at the nurses and visitors moving in an out of the waiting room, watched the various patients with different ailments walking around dragging the metal pole with their IV hooked on it curiously. He raised a hand in greeting when an elderly old man who had sold him the crackers he bought for Effie passed by the place where Haymitch was slumped ungracefully. Occasionally, his gaze would cut to where Effie was. She had exhausted nearly all of the outdated magazine subscriptions in the room.

Bored of sitting idly around with nothing to do, he wandered around the hospital mindlessly and stepped out to the town centre to get Effie something to eat. When he returned, Katniss still had not delivered and Haymitch grew restless.

"How long is this wait going to be?"

Effie shrugged as clueless as he was. She passed the half-eaten sandwich to him, asking him to finish the leftover over her since he hated wasting food.

He raised an eyebrow but shoved the sandwich in his mouth nonetheless..

"You should eat more," he swallowed the food and commented.

Silence descended upon them again. Outside, the sun began to set and he thought it would be wise for Effie to head home to get some rest before the night falls. He stood up to talk to her the same time the doors swung open to reveal a tired, but very, very joyful looking Peeta.

"I'm a father," he announced proudly, embracing Effie in his arms.

XxX

Except for his younger brother and even then, Haymitch was too young to remember, he had never seen a newborn before. He searched his memories but came up blank. It wasn't surprising considering the reclusive life he led. He took no notice of who was pregnant or who had given birth in District Twelve. It held no significance to him since the child would probably end up dead in a couple of years.

Now, as he peered over Effie's shoulder at the newborn cradled in her arms, Haymitch regarded it with a look of mild interest.

"It's so tiny," he commented.

" _She_ is a baby so of course, she's tiny," answered Effie, running the back of her fingers on the baby's cheek.

The little bundle in Effie's arm squirmed and yawned. Effie covered her mouth with a finger and Primrose opened her eyes. They were glazy and unfocused and with a jolt, he realized it was like looking into Peeta's eyes.

"Oh, Peeta, she has your eyes!" squealed Effie, echoing his thoughts.

"I know," the young man nodded.

Effie bounced on her feet lightly, rocking and patting the child until she closed her eyes and fell back to sleep.  _That seemed natural,_  he noted.

He was not prepared when Effie turned around to face him and held the little girl out to him with a question on her lips, "do you want to carry her?"

Haymitch backpedalled, putting some distance between them. "No. I don't."

Even in her condition, Katniss found the situation comical. From her place on the hospital bed, Katniss snickered at the horrified look on his face.

"You better start learning, Haymitch. When Effie gives birth, she can't be carrying two babies in her arms. You've got to be there to handle one kid," Katniss pointed out and Peeta nodded in agreement.

His eyes darted from the Katniss to the two days old baby. He looked uncertainly at Effie.

"It'll be okay," Effie said quietly so only he could hear. Haymitch was always so self-assured and he could come off as arrogant at times, if his Quarter Quell interview was anything to go by and Effie had found his weakness. He had none of that smug attitude when it came to children.

"I'm impressed you know the ways to handle a baby without dropping her. Where'd you learn this? I don't imagine Games School teaching you any of it; not with all the killing of - " he stopped abruptly and Effie pretended not to hear the last bit. She transferred Primrose carefully to his arms and swallowed thickly. Her heart ache and she found it difficult to accept that Haymitch would bring the past up at such an unexpected moment.

"At the Capitol, I had a couple of friends with children. I learnt from them when they let me carry their child," she refused to look at him knowing that he was trying to catch her eyes to convey to her that he didn't mean to bring the past up. "But I – I don't know how to be look after one."

"She won't break, will she? I read in Effie's books that babies are fragile little buggers," he asked the other occupants of the room. He gazed down at the baby's face all the while not moving a muscle. Haymitch stood still and stiff.

 _She looks… odd. Aren't babies supposed to be adorable or is that some kind of myth? I could squish her face,_ he thought suddenly. He frowned and wondered why he even had such thoughts in the first place, why he would even want to squish a baby's face. Haymitch trailed a finger on Primrose's cheek feeling the soft, smooth skin _._

"Not unless you plan to throw her around," Effie replied snidely.

He held the baby awkwardly and she must have sensed it because Primrose opened her eyes and started crying. His eyes widened and he looked at Effie for help.

"Take her back," he moved towards Effie. "She's crying. Take her back."

Peeta walked around the bed and effortlessly took the crying child from him. "Don't worry, angel, your Uncle Haymitch isn't used to carrying such pretty little girl like yourself," he cooed and turning towards Haymitch, he said, "you have to relax, that's all. But with practice, I'm sure you'll be ready just in time for when it's your turn."

XxX

There was little doubt that Effie adored Primrose. In fact, she was so smitten she could often be found at the Mellark's house, leaving Haymitch pretty much alone. It had been a week since their disagreement and thinking that she might have cooled down, Haymitch tried asking her again about the nursery. He was wrong; it appeared that she had not forgiven him and held fast to her decision to leave the room as it is.

What was disconcerting to him was the fact that Effie hardly ever spoke to him unless it was necessary – gone was the enthusiastic woman who would tell him stories of how her day went by. Haymitch believed that Primrose was a convenient excuse for her to get away from him, a welcome distraction from their problems.

"You should give the kids time to be with their child. Let them be a family," he said one night watching Effie brushing her hair at the vanity from his place at the bed.

"As if you would know the first thing about being a family," she shot back.

That stung and he was done trying to appease her. Shooting her an annoyed glare, Haymitch stalked out of the room with a pillow and a piece of thin blanket under his arm. He made his way to the spare room, the one she meant to turn into a nursery, and spread the blanket on the floor. Crossing his arms across him, Haymitch turned sideways and went to sleep feeling angry.

XxX

"Haymitch."

He felt small hands shaking his shoulder and he grunted. Haymitch swatted the hand away. "Haymitch, wake up."

It was Effie and she was kneeling on the floor next to him.

"I went looking for you downstairs, I thought you were sleeping at the sofa again."

He rolled over on his back and looked up at her blurry figure. He blinked to clear his eyes. "Too lazy to walk all the way down," he mumbled tiredly. "Why'd you wake me up for?"

"Come back to bed," said Effie quietly. "I'm sorry; I was out of line."

"No. Now go away, Effie, I don't want to deal with you tonight," he said dismissively.

She slipped her hand into his large palm and tugged on it when he stubbornly remained lying on the floor.

"It's not good for your back if you sleep on the floor all night. Please, Haymitch."

He wasn't as young and healthy as he once was, and his back was already beginning to hurt. Pushing himself up, he cracked his neck. Effie picked his pillow off the floor and with an apologetic quirk of her lips she led him back to bed.

In the darkness that enveloped their room, he heard Effie fluffing her pillow and turning uncomfortably on the bed, trying to find a comfortable position. He felt her moved closer to him, felt the weight of her hand across his mid-section followed closely by her head resting on his chest.

"I'm sorry, Haymitch," she whispered.

"Hmm," he mumbled, pulling the covers over them both. "I guess I owe you one too."

Effie nodded and waited for the apology but his breathing had evened out.

"Aren't you going to say it?" she asked, jolting him awake.

"Say what?"

"That you're sorry?

Haymitch squeezed her lightly. Effie couldn't see the sleepy, amused smile playing on his lips but she heard him telling her, "tomorrow."

"What do you –"

"Shh, be quiet."

XxX

When morning broke over the horizon, Haymitch was jostled awake by a knock on the door. He knew who was knocking but he couldn't help grumbling to himself about how it was too early for visitors.

"I thought you said she'll be here," Felix said when he realized that Effie was nowhere in the house. He made himself at home as he bustled about in the kitchen pulling off a bottle of Haymitch's whiskey. He poured a generous amount over two glasses and slid one over to Haymitch

"I thought she'd be here," replied Haymitch. "How was I supposed to know that she decided to wander off to town so early in the morning? And if she was here, she wouldn't let you drink in the house."

"You could have –"

"Felix?" Effie called out uncertainly from the hallway.

She popped her head into the kitchen a second later and Haymitch quickly moved the glass of whiskey behind him, out of her line of sight. If she smelt the alcohol, she could simply just pin it on her cousin.

"Darling!" Felix exclaimed the moment he laid eyes on Effie. "Oh, it's been too long!"

Haymitch couldn't help but roll his eyes. Felix flamboyant, over the top behavior was too much for him to take in so early in the morning.

"I've missed you. And don't get me wrong, I'm delighted to see you but what are you doing here? You should have called, I could have -"

He waved her off. "No need for all the elaborate planning and schedule, cousin. I prefer the excitement of spontaneity and I have come to take you away!" he announced. "We're going off to have a good time – you and I – so, hurry along and pack your bags. Bring a weeks' worth of clothes or … maybe more, one can't have too many clothes after all!"

"But – "

"No, buts. Now, go," Felix's hand was at the small of her back as he pushed her out of the kitchen.

Haymitch could see the confusion written on Effie's face. She looked at him for explanation, her eyes silently seeking his approval. He jerked his head towards their bedroom and offered her a shrug.

 _Go,_  he mouthed.

"You sure a week is all you need?" Felix asked, turning towards Haymitch.

"Yeah, I can get it done in less than a week," he said and then pierced Felix with a serious glare. "You look after her. If there's anything make sure –"

"I know, I know," Felix waved his hand. He downed his drink and set the empty glass on the sink. "Get Annie Cresta, call you, call her doctor - in that order."

Haymitch nodded; satisfied that Felix knew what to do. "Good boy," Haymitch said, unable to pass up the opportunity to mess up with Felix.

He scowled but Haymitch had already walked out of the room in search of Effie. She was standing in front of her wardrobe with her hands on her hips. Her clothes were strewn all over the bed and she was clearly in distressed.

"I can't do this. How can he expect me to do last minute packing! What if I forget something?"

"Calm down, woman. If there's anything you forget, you can always buy them," he pointed out logically. Haymitch threw some random clothing into her luggage which was already half-filled.

"I don't even know where we're going, Haymitch. What if I packed the wrong things or brought the wrong choice of clothing?"

Haymitch gave her a cynical look and in between her barrage of questions, he managed to help her pack everything. He carried the luggage down the stairs. Felix was not in the house and when he looked out of the window, Haymitch saw him at the geese pen. Felix was squatting in front of the pen and seemed to be having some kind of one sided conversation with a goose.

"What is that idiot doing?" he muttered to himself.

"He's probably just fascinated by your choice of pets," Effie said.

At the door, Effie stopped and turned to face Haymitch. "Was this what you meant yesterday night? Is this is your idea of apologizing to me?" she asked cheekily.

"No, this isn't me apologizing," he said. "My idea of an apology is very different from yours and this is not it."

"How different?" she asked but did not pursue that line of questioning. "Did you call Felix?"

"I did," he admitted.

Effie nodded. "Thank you."

"Whatever it is your cousin had planned for you, have a good time, I supposed. Don't do anything stupid."

Effie laughed quietly and shook her head at his attempt for well-wishes. She had never kissed him good bye before but elated with the thought of spending her time with her cousin and grateful that Haymitch was the one who had called Felix, Effie stood on tip toes to press a chaste kiss on his lips. She pulled back quickly before Haymitch could say anything.

"I'll see you in a week. Don't turn the house into a dumpster while I'm gone."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I imagined Haymitch being a little awkward with a baby since not everyone is a baby-person, hence his standoff-ish interaction with Primrose. Aside from that, I, personally think that Haymitch is the kind that does thing for a reason. So there is actually a reason why he called her cousin and remember that favour in the previous chapter? It will be explained in the next chapter!


	19. Chapter 19

Haymitch raised a hand in a silent goodbye as he watched the two figures growing smaller in the distance from the door. When they finally turned the corner and disappeared from view, he went back in.

His eyes took in the sight before him; his empty coffee mug on the table, the morning's newspaper folded in half marking the page where Effie had last read it before Haymitch even woke up and the dust of silver glitter staining the floor in front of the mirror where Felix had stood to fix his glittery black hair.

Ignoring all of those, Haymitch was acutely aware of the silence that had settled into the house; an empty house - save for him and his geese outside.  _Finally_ , he smiled to himself,  _some much needed peace_. It wasn't like he had not been alone in the house since they were married. He had, of course, when Effie went off to the medicine factory for work but this time, it was different. She wouldn't be coming home that evening. She would be gone for the week and it was by far the longest stretch of time he was in the house without Effie. He looked forward to it.

He sauntered over to the sofa, put his long legs up on the coffee table knowing Effie would not be there to reprimand him and took a long draught from his whiskey glass. It felt good; the freedom to drink anywhere he like in the house without the constant worry of Effie losing the contents of her stomach.

Katniss called the house the next day, wondering about Effie's absence.

"She hasn't been over since yesterday. She alright? Ever since Prim was born, Effie's always stopped by to visit."

"She's away with her cousin. I send her off," Haymitch informed, opening his first bottle that morning.

"Is that you apologizing to her or you having had enough of her and sending her away?"

He narrowed his eyes. "I send her off to take a break, a vacation, if one can call it that. Did that woman tell you everything that goes on in my house?"

"No, not really," she replied and Haymitch could picture Katniss rolling her eyes. "Effie just mumbled something about you being an idiot – what's new? – saying all the wrong things. Don't need to be a genius to know you both fought."

XxX

Considering that it was a Sunday, Haymitch had planned to sleep in. There was nothing that would disturb his sleep – no Effie asking him to get up or the sound of Effie retching in the bathroom or Effie walking around the house doing whatever she does. If Haymitch was uncomfortable with how much his life had turned into a whirlwind of  _Effie this_  or  _Effie that_  he tried to ignore it; it was easier for them both if he did not acknowledge the fact that Effie had now become an integral part of his life as much as he had become a part of hers.

But for all his planning to sleep in, Effie's alarm rang shrilly at seven on a Sunday morning causing the startled man to jerk awake. The curses flew from his mouth at having his sleep interrupted. He slammed the alarm clock shut, knocking several off Effie's things off the night stand in the process.

There really was no point trying to go back to sleep now that he was awake. Lazily, Haymitch stretched his tall frame across the bed, clearly enjoying having it all to himself. The frustration of not having to wrestle for the covers with Effie in the dead of night lifted his mood slightly. Finally, he pushed himself off the bed, ready to at least begin his day.

Haymitch crouched down on Effie's side of the bed to pick up the few things he had accidentally knocked over to ground. His fingers plucked the sonograms off the floor, looking at them curiously. The last time he saw a picture of a sonogram, there was only one but there were now two additional pieces.

One was familiar to him. Effie had showed it to him before her insane craving set it and so he set it aside. He turned the other two sonograms over and saw the date Effie had carefully written on it. The most recent one was dated about five days ago. He studied the black and white photo, frowning as he tried to make sense out of it. Haymitch compared it with the first sonogram he saw and then his eyes widened in delight when he was finally able to discern the shapes and understood what it meant. When placed next to each other, the two blots he saw on the black background made so much sense since the first sonogram only had one.

 _There you are,_  he thought in amazement, unable to tear his eyes away from the picture. He tried to make out the shapes of a leg or a hand or even a head but he didn't quite see it yet _. Perhaps it was still too early_ , he tried to convince himself.

The feeling of enlightenment was a strange thing. It was like someone had lifted a visor from his eyes and he was now able to see clearly something that had been hazy before. He was not in denial about Effie's pregnancy. After his initial resistance and shock to the news, he had accepted it. It was difficult not to after he had sat with her months ago on the bathroom floor during one of her morning sickness, got dragged all the way to the Capitol at rude hours in the morning, entered a baby shop for the first time ever in his life and it was difficult to ignore the obvious baby bump under Effie's clothes lately. There was just something surreal about finally being able to see them on the sonograms and knowing that the two different heartbeats he heard at the clinic belonged to them.

With a slight shake of his head, Haymitch tucked the sonograms carefully in front of the picture frame and left the room.

XxX

The can of paint was heavy – was the first thought that crossed his mind. But if a pregnant woman could somehow purchase it and lugged it up the stairs into the spare room, then there was really no reason why he couldn't. The second thought that fleeted through his mind was that he was definitely too old to be painting the whole room. Still, Haymitch was nothing if not determined.

During his teenage years, before his life changed, Haymitch had taken on odd jobs for that extra piece of bread or a block of cheese. He had helped paint one of the houses, a lifetime ago but a middle-age man had shown him the ropes and he was quick to pick up the skills. Haymitch was certain he still remembered the basics of it. In any case, it was just painting - it couldn't possibly be that difficult.

He started by spreading the canvas, covering the entirety of the floor. Haymitch carefully plastered any holes that had inadvertently appeared on the walls and when he had finished touching up, Haymitch began to paint only to be interrupted by Peeta who unexpectedly skittered to a stop at the doorway, not expecting Haymitch to be in that room.

"You weren't downstairs. Was just about to look for you at your room," he explained. "Woah, this will be the nursery, I presume?"

"How'd you – never mind."

"Need help?"

Haymitch gave a lopsided smile - if the boy was offering… why not? Peeta disappeared only to return a few minutes later with an extra paint roller he had kept around from when he set up Primrose's nursery. He had seen her nursery and with a painter for a father, it was beautifully decorated with an exquisite feature wall that boasted bits of the meadows from District Twelve painted on the lower half of the wall. The other walls had a border of purple primroses.

As they went to work painting the room, Peeta told Haymitch how Katniss had seemed so lost when she stepped into Primrose's nursery.

"You could see that she was miles away and I was right. She looked around and turned to me, and said – "Prim would have loved this room". I surely hope so, I thought, and then I realized she was talking about her sister," Peeta smiled ruefully. "She would have pampered my daughter, if things had been different."

Haymitch nodded, uncertain of what to say. His mind wandered to his own family; what would his mother say if she saw him now, if his brother would have wanted a nephew or a niece, or his father… Would the old man be excited to meet his grandchildren if he were alive? He snapped out of his trance when he felt the paint dripped onto his hands. No point wondering about it now, he would never know.

Katniss popped over the next day to see what her boys were up to. She caught Haymitch's eyes and gave him a knowing smile which he returned with a scowl. He thought he would never see the finish line but after one and a half day of hard labour they were finally done. Haymitch sat on the floor in exhaustion, his eyes taking in room which had been made bright by the turquoise walls. He felt immensely relieved that he had completed what he set out to do. It still looked horridly plain, in his opinion, so unlike Prim's nursery.

"Is this why you sent Effie away?" Peeta asked, wiping his brows with the back of his hands.

Haymitch spared Peeta a glance. "No," he lied.

"Oh. I just thought … I send Katniss to the bakery whenever I painted Prim's room. Didn't want to risk her inhaling the smell, you know?"

He watched Peeta clearing the area; putting the lid back on the paint can, collecting the paint brushes and rollers they had used and peeling off thin layers of adhesive tape off the walls which they had put up earlier to prevent the paint from smearing. Whether he felt as though he owe Peeta for his help or simply because he needed to unload it off somewhere, Haymitch found himself telling the boy the truth.

"We fought about this room," he said slowly. "I said something - made her angry enough that she didn't want to turn this room into a nursery any longer. It was her idea in the first place and I guessed, I must have pissed her off real bad. Don't bother, she said."

"So why then?" Peeta gestured towards the room and the dirty brushes in his hand.

Haymitch shrugged. "Kids gotta sleep somewhere – might as well make it as nice as possible. Effie may be angry now and say not to bother but I know her. She'll only complain later on. Between her complaining and little buggers crying, it''ll only make me insane."

"Ah, you send her away with her cousin so that you could work on this room without her knowing, then? Somewhat like a surprise, I supposed? Never thought you capable of it," Peeta teased.

"A surprise?" Haymitch asked, looking affronted. "Of course, not! Who do you think I am? I have no business planning surprises for anyone."

Peeta smiled. "Why don't you just admit that maybe you feel guilty? And you're trying to make things right?"

"So what if I am?"

"That's a start," Peeta nodded, coming to a stop in front of a blank wall by the window. He looked at it in a way that only an artist could, picturing things Haymitch couldn't see. "You know the meadow I painted over Prim's room? I could do something similar here."

"Not the meadow. Effie would want something different than Prim's room."

"Wouldn't dream of it. It's got to be something gender neutral. Why wouldn't you want to know the gender?" Peeta asked curiously.

"Not me - her," he answered.

When Haymitch returned to the room, he had a bottle in his hands. Leaning against the window with his legs crossed at the ankle, Haymitch watched Peeta working diligently on the designs.

"You ever wondered how you're going to tell your daughter about you and Katniss?"

"Hmm?"

"The Games, the Rebellion. They'll find out…. School…. History classes. They'll come home and they'll ask questions. And what do I say?"

"The truth," Peeta paused to look at him. "That you fought to make things better, you're still fighting to make this world better."

He scoffed. "That'll be a hell of a conversation, won't it? Telling them they only existed because of a fucking law."

"Haymitch…"

"What'd I say if they ask why I killed people? Cause I needed to survive?" he sneered. "Sounds selfish. What about their mother? Her role in the Games. Too much, isn't it? I'd be surprise if the twins would even consider us their parents when they found out the shit me and Effie had done."

"We did what we had to do and they're your children, they'd understand. It won't be easy. They'll have a lot of questions, no doubt, but those were things in the past. It's a better life now, one without the threat of death over their heads. They'll understand," Peeta asserted.

He said nothing to that instead Haymitch greedily sought the comfort of the alcohol in his hand desperately trying to quell the uneasiness that was slowly taking over.

XxX

He counted the days.

It was something he never realized he did until he caught himself sighing out loud when the blasted calendar on the wall informed him that there were still a few more days before Effie was due to return. Instead of enjoying the peace, Haymitch was restless.

The quiet irritated him as much as Effie's shrill voice did. It was odd not to hear Effie's soft footsteps walking around the house or hear her quiet private conversations with the twins. He was told that it was important to create a bond as early as possible and had gone so far as to insist that the twins could hear her and would be able to recognize her voice.

"They'll recognize yours too if you only speak to them, Haymitch," she had said.

He gave an undignified snort and shot her an incredulous look, whispering under his breath about how she had gone mental.

Effie did not forget about him. She was too well-mannered to completely ignore him while she went out to enjoy herself. Effie had called the first day to tell him that she had arrived safely. Since the few times he was away from Effie during his trip to the Capitol, conducting the interviews at the districts and now this, he realized that it was different listening to her voice over the phone as compared to having her around, watching her hands move wildly about her whenever she tried to make a point or the emotions playing across her face as she talk to him.

He remembered all too well the first few months of their marriage. There was surprisingly little conversation between them, something he was grateful for considering Effie's propensity to go on and on at times. The change in their relationship was progressively slow as they learnt to accept the other's presence in the house and especially so since she became pregnant and he was dragged into this foreign world of morning sickness, and unpredictable mood swings. She began talking to him; it started with her telling him about her day at the medicine factory and pointing out random facts about the baby growing inside of her. While his sarcastic, dry wit were not ideal conversation materials but it was still better than having a husband who did not talk to her at all.

XxX

His fingers felt for the empty space next to him and his eyes flew open. Haymitch fumbled for the knife he kept in the drawer at the night stand - Effie had forbidden him to sleep with his knife under the pillow for fear of accidentally stabbing her stomach whenever he was startled awake – with his heart beating frantically in his chest. It took him a while to remember that Effie was safe with Felix and that she had not been taken while he was sleeping. Instead of the usual nightmares he had lived with for nearly all of his adult life, having his wife and children taken away from him seemed to be a recurring nightmare lately.

His movements were automatic, driven solely by the adrenaline still coursing through his blood as Haymitch threw his clothes into a duffel bag hurriedly. With a soft click of the door behind him, he set out to meet Effie.

He didn't make it far. He was about five minutes' walk away from his house when Haymitch came to a sudden halt.  _What are you doing?_  The voice sounded harsh in his head, its tone mocking. Haymitch wasn't sure what he would tell her. He had a nightmare? Gritting his teeth, Haymitch spun around and walked back inside.

Haymitch was furious with himself. Instead of taking off like that because he had a nightmare, he should be counting the hours he had to himself before Effie returned to pester him once more. With nothing to do and in an attempt to get rid of the images from his dream, the glass of whiskey found its way into his hands and no sooner had he made himself comfortable on the sofa, the phone rang.

"For fuck's sake," he grumbled loudly. Haymitch tensed as waited for the admonishment that always followed whenever he cursed - "The babies can hear you, Haymitch!" – but only the persistent ringing of the phone echoed throughout the house.

"Yes?"

"It's Effie," Felix gushed over the phone, his voice void of the ever present optimistic tone that Haymitch found annoying. "You better come quick."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter is kind of Haymitch-centric but it's unavoidable.


	20. Chapter 20

Haymitch swore - loudly. On hindsight he should have asked Felix for more details but he hadn't. He hung up the phone with the single-minded focus of getting to her.

He stubbed his toe on a table leg in his rush and hopped around looking for the duffel bag he had carelessly thrown earlier. He wished Effie was here, she'd tell him what to do. Snatching the bag from the hallway, Haymitch slammed the front door behind him only to double back in a hurry to lock it.

By happenstance, he passed by Katniss who was walking home with her hands in her pockets.

"Tell Peeta to feed the geese. I got to – "

"Why are you in a rush? What's the matter?"

"I just gotta be somewhere alright. Effie.. I don't -" he broke off, shaking his head hurriedly and left Katniss on the street. "I'll call!"

He arrived in time for the 11.00 a.m train. It had just pulled into the platform when Haymitch skidded to a stop in front of the ticket booth, breathless and gasping for air. Once he boarded, Haymitch waited impatiently for the train to depart, shouting out of the window towards the conductor on duty when he had enough.

"Nobody's getting on anymore, move the damn train!"

"The train runs on schedule, not on your whim and fancy," the pudgy man retorted with a frown.

Haymitch growled in frustration but otherwise paid no more attention to the train conductor walking leisurely on the platform with his green flag.

He alternated between fidgeting restlessly and staring out of the window moodily with his silver flask in his hand all throughout the journey accompanied by terrible thoughts of what could happened to Effie. Half the day had gone by before he finally arrived in District Four. Stepping off the train, he stood erect in the middle of the platform as he tried to orientate himself to the unfamiliar surroundings. It was not how he remembered it from the last Victory Tour but it was expected – much of District Twelve had change, too, post-rebellion.

Annie's house was not near the train station that much he knew. Other than that, Haymitch had no inkling as to where she stayed and he resorted to asking a teenage boy with a pick-up truck for help.

"You know Annie? Small woman, about this size," Haymitch held out his hand to somewhere below his shoulder, "with a little boy named – "

"Sure I know her - the Victor. Finnick's wife."

"Yeah, yeah," Haymitch nodded. "Can I get a ride to her place? Urgent business."

XxX

Traffic moved slowly – the streets were choked with people walking about leisurely, laughing and talking without a care in the world.

"Come on," Haymitch growled in frustration, reaching over to honk angrily at the crowd. They threw him a dirty look but parted to allow the truck to cruise past them. The boy must have felt intimidated by Haymitch because he said nothing. "Do they have a death wish, walking on the streets like that?"

"It's a small street," the boy explained. "Besides, it's normal. It's the time of the year again."

"What time – oh don' t bother explaining. Just drive," Haymitch instructed, too distracted by thoughts of Effie to concern himself with whatever was going on in District Four at the moment.

"Mrs. Odair's house is not far from here – that one that's been painted sky blue – best if you get off and walk. Might get you there faster."

So he did as the boy suggested, finding no fault in his logic. Haymitch jostled and weaved among the crowd until he finally reached Annie's house and then he broke into a run, a singular thought occupying his mind.

_Effie._

XxX

Annie's house was surrounded by brown picket fence. Haymitch had to walk all the way around before he reached the front gate since he came from the back. He did a double take at the familiar petite figure in a red layered sundress with a hand resting on the fence talking to tall, slender woman. Haymitch hurried along and came to a slow stop just outside the front gate the same moment the woman turned her head to see the newcomer.

She shielded her eyes against the sun's glare and squinted at him. "Haymitch?" Effie asked. There was no denying the astonishment in her voice; she was as surprised as he was.

Effie inched forward to unlock the bolt, swinging the gate inward to allow him in.

"Mitch?" her companion asked, stepping up next to Effie.

He recognised Johanna's voice but he barely even looked at her. All his attention was focused on his wife. When he had received the call, Haymitch had expected something bad judging from Felix's tone. While he tried not to let his mind conjure up images of Effie in various terrible state of pain or danger, he was not expecting her to be on the front lawn with the hem of her red dress billowing around looking as if she was about to go out and have a good time.

"What are you doing here? Don't get me wrong, you're allowed to be wherever you want but … I thought…"

The worn out duffel bag he was carrying dropped on the ground with a thud. He strode over to stand in front of her, his hands gripping her shoulders.

He shook her lightly. "What happened?" he asked in a strain voice.

"You're hurting me," Effie protested, pushing his hands off her. "Nothing's happened – let go, Haymitch."

He released his grip and dropped his hand before it fluttered up again to cup her cheek. He brushed her hair back, holding her an arm's length away as he raked his eyes over her, looking for signs of physical injuries, an act he seemed to be doing quite often lately.

Effie was startled by his rare display of gentleness which was in such contrast with the way he had gripped her in his panic. She covered his hand with hers, looking at him with a look of curious concern.

"Haymitch, are you alright?"

"Me?" he frowned. "You sure you're fine? That you're absolutely okay?"

Effie nodded slowly, still not quite understanding the picture. His eyes soften; the tense muscles under her hand began to relax ever so slightly.

"This is all very touching," Johanna's sharp voice severed the moment and as if he finally realized that he had an audience, Haymitch dropped his hand hastily and stepped back away from Effie. "But will you care to explain why you suddenly decided to drop in, Mitch?"

He cleared his throat; his eyes flickered from Effie looking at him questioningly and to Johanna looking considerably irritated as if Haymitch had just interrupted her in the middle of something important.

"Felix - Effie's cousin – called early this morning and – "

"Oh, that son of a bitch," Johanna exploded. "FELIX!"

She stormed up the stairs into the house and shouted for him. Effie and Haymitch exchanged a puzzled look. Despite the obvious relief, Effie could tell that Haymitch was annoyed; a muscle jumped in his jaw, his grey eyes were focused on Johanna's back as she angrily shouted for Felix. Haymitch took Effie by the elbow and guided her towards the house, trailing after the irate younger woman.

Felix appeared from behind one of the doors looking mildly irritated at the commotion. He pushed his dark hair away from his eyes, this time the ends of it glittered blue with strange blue highlights all over his hair. He was holding on to a mascara stick and glared at Johanna impatiently.

"Johanna," he drawled, "can't you see that I'm busy? You may not understand the need to keep yourself beau – Oh, Haymitch! Well, well, hello there, handsome."

He sauntered over to Haymitch but Johanna was quick to cut him off and block his way.

"You cheated," she hissed, putting her hand on Felix's chest to stop him. "You called Haymitch at District Twelve and you told him Effie was in some kind of trouble, didn't you?"

Felix had the grace to look affronted at Johanna's accusation.

"I did not cheat," Felix gasped.

"Then why is Haymitch here?" Johanna demanded. "Because I sure as hell haven't done nothing."

Felix smirked.

"Ah, I see what this is about. You're mad that I beat you to it. Does that answer your question then? I don't deny calling Haymitch but all I said was "It's Effie. You better come" and here he is," he smiled, gesturing towards Haymitch.

Haymitch frowned, trying but failing to keep up with the conversation. "What the hell is going on?"

"Felix, what did you do?" Effie asked, sounding tired.

"I didn't do anything!"

"That scumbag cheated is what he did!"

Haymitch pinched the bridge of his nose and counted to ten. "If one of you don't start explaining, I swear by my unborn children, you will regret –"

"I thought I heard your voice, Haymitch," the sweet voice that could only belong to Annie punctuated Haymitch's threat. Everyone turned to look at her as she transferred Finn from one hip to the other. "So which one of you won the bet?"

"I did," Felix answered smugly.

Johanna crossed her arms and stalked off to the corner of the room, glaring at Felix all the while. He rolled his eyes at her. Haymitch demanded to know what was going on but he refused to have it from either Johanna or Felix claiming that they were acting far too childish for someone their age.

Effie shuffled to the nearest seat, taking Finn by the hand and settling him next to her. Annie began talking, explaining to Haymitch about the Annual Family Fishing Carnival in District Four. It was one of the many post-rebellion events meant to gel the citizens of Panem together, to introduce each other's culture and way of life. It was open to everyone from every district but Haymitch had never been to one and with so many things going on after the Rebellion, this one slipped his radar. She told Haymitch how the men would bring in their hauls from the sea to be sold to the public at the most cheapest of price, the various programs that was held during the three days carnival - a fishing competition, a booth to showcase the woven by the locals and according to Annie, the best part was the singing and dancing held each night.

"Yeah, that all sounds interesting Annie but what's that got to do with anything," Haymitch said.

"Oh, don't tell him," Johanna groaned from her spot by the window.

"These two – " she nodded towards Johanna and Felix, "- thought it would be fun to see who could get you to Four. They heard Effie saying that it would be nice to have you around."

Haymitch glanced at Effie who turned bright red at Annie's words.

"You're not much of social person and they knew if they were to invite you over for the carnival, you wouldn't come. So they made a bet to see which of them have enough persuasion skills to convince you to visit," Annie said. "Whatever Felix did, it worked, apparently."

Felix grinned and took a bow, unaware of Haymitch stalking towards him. He grabbed the unsuspecting young man by his collar and slammed him against the wall.

"Do that again, Felix, and you'll see why I won the Quarter Quell," he hissed.

Felix gulped. He looked at Effie for help but she was content to sit back and watch him sweat a little. "I – She's not harm. She's fine. I was… it was just a bet, love, nothing personal. Won't do it again."

"Don't call me that," he said, releasing his hold on Felix the same time that Effie's small hand curled around his arm.

"That's enough, Haymitch," Effie said softly.

He turned to glare at Johanna.

"Sorry," she shrugged. "But I wasn't going to lie and tell you that Effie was in – "

"That was the only way I could think off!" Felix defended himself.

"I can't stand the sight of you two," he scowled.

XxX

Effie led him out of the house, hoping it would calm him down. They walked the short distance to the beach with Effie keeping close to him.

"Still angry?" she asked after a while. "You don't have to be so harsh with him, Haymitch."

"Harsh? He got off lightly. You have no idea the panic he put me through," he snapped.

"Alright, you're still angry, then," she stated calmly. "I'm okay, Haymitch. Everything's fine."

He nodded but did not say a word. Haymitch tugged her hand silently as they walked along the beach going further and further away from Annie's house.

"This… I don't think it's about the bet Johanna and Felix had," she voiced out. "You used to have bets with Chaff before, don't you? This is something more."

Effie stopped and because he was still holding on to her hand, Haymitch jerked to a stop, too.

"You don't understand," Haymitch said, his voice caught in his throat. "You're under my protection – you and the children. I can't – If something happen and I wasn't there to … It would be like them all over again."

He stared out over the sea, watching the waves lapping gently on the shore. Effie bit her lips, wondering how best to talk with him about it. She didn't need to ask who he meant. She knew he was referring to his family, the ones he couldn't save because he was powerless. His family had always been a delicate issue. He hated talking about them with her; a small part of him still felt that her people were accountable for what happened to his family. But if he was trying to protect her and the twins the same way that he felt he should have protected his family… Effie couldn't help speculating if he considered them a part of his family? It was too much to hope for so Effie tried not to dwell on it too much.

Haymitch steered her over to a large boulder, asking her to sit when he saw that she had gotten breathless. He looked at her curiously.

"Is that normal?"

"Yes," she affirmed. "Walking makes me breathless now."

"You should have said something."

"I'm fine… Just need a little rest," she reassured him. "Haymitch… About your –"

"I don't want to talk about it, Eff."

She fell silent. It was always like that with him whenever his family came about. Effie was curious about his family; she wanted to know what they were like, what kind of woman his mother was to him and his brother, the kind of wife she was and if there was anything Effie could learn from her but he never seemed to want to talk about it. They've been married for nearly a year – eleven months and 17 days, she counted the days – but she only knew his mother's name because she had asked Greasy Sae and even that made her feel wretched because she couldn't just go to her husband to ask him about it.

Effie brushed her hair with her fingers and tied it into a bun, frustrated with the way the wind was blowing her hair all over the place. Haymitch look amused as she struggled with the hair band.

"Will you stay?" she spoke over the howling of the wind. "Now that you're here, will you stay with me? Elias – that's my cousin, Felix's brother – he owned a resort here. He offered me a room but I didn't see the need before but… now that you're here maybe… It's the peak period now what with the carnival and all but I'm sure he wouldn't mind. Although, I have to talk to Annie – it might drive her crazy having Johanna and Felix in her house without me."

"Why's that?"

"You've seen them in the same room," she said. "From the first day they met, they can't seem to get along. There's always something they disagree about."

"I can imagine. Felix gets on everyone's nerves," he muttered darkly. Then he smirked. "Don't they remind you of someone?"

"Who? Oh, you mean us? We're not so bad, are we?"

"I send you here with Felix… Johanna?" Haymitch asked, ignoring Effie's earlier question.

"Oh, Annie informed her I was coming. I don't think her husband paid much attention to her so she was more than happy to be here to visit. She calls this a reunion … in a more favourable environment. Better than Snow's prison, was what she said."

If Haymitch did not like talking about his family, Effie had a strong aversion to the topic of her imprisonment and generally avoided talking about it. He could see how it made her uncomfortable even now. She wriggled her toes and then dug them into the sand before pulling it out, the sand grains slipping between the spaces in her toes. She repeated the actions, over and over.

"Stop," Haymitch said placing his hand on her knee, distracted by what she was doing.

"So, will you stay? I don't want you to do something you don't want to… Especially, since… given the circumstances on how you came to be here so it's perfectly alright if you don't – "

"I'll stay. You can stop rambling," he said. "Somebody needs to keep Felix in line."

Her face lighted up in a radiant smile. "Thank you! Oh, this is wonderful. We can go to the carnival! Annie promised it'll be fun."

Haymitch groaned loudly. "This is like a vacation I never wanted."

"This is like the honeymoon I never had," Effie laughed.


	21. Chapter 21

Felix spent the morning with his arm crossed, sulking to himself as he watched Effie and Haymitch preparing to leave Annie's house. He was less than thrilled when he found out that they would be spending the remainder of their time in District Four at the resort - with a room catered to them courtesy of his brother.

"This is Elias," Felix stressed. "He probably has something up his sleeve."

"He's your brother," Effie pointed out. "Don't be so hard on him. People change; maybe he has. He offered me a room when he found out I was here but it was only just us, Felix. Now that Haymitch's here, he was nice enough to offer it to us again. It would be rude to deny his offer of hospitality the second time. Besides, you won't be alone in Annie's house and we'll all be going to the carnival together!"

He scowled. "That's exactly it. You're leaving me here with that woman," he jerked his head towards Johanna who was spinning Finn around in a dizzying circle.

From his place against the wall, Haymitch watched Effie rubbed her temple in exasperation before looking up with a patient smile on her face. She rested her hand on his shoulder and spoke to him quietly. Felix's expression changed. He looked abashed and with a resigned shrug of his shoulders, he enveloped Effie in a hug and kissed her cheeks.

Haymitch smirked. "Played the guilt card with him, did you?"

He was quick to help her with her luggage, holding the door open for her.

"I did and he did made you panic, didn't he?"

Haymitch was informed by the clerk at the check-in counter that they would be staying in the seaview room. The porter talked at length about the grandiosity of the room as they rode the elevator up to the third story of the resort. The room was spacious with a huge king sized bed in the middle of it and beautiful paintings hanging on the walls. There was a sliding door with glass panel installed that led to the balcony which overlooked the sea. Effie  _oooh_ and  _ahhhh_  in appreciation and the porter swell with pride as he deposited their bags.

Effie stood out at the balcony, her hair whipping about her face, looking serene as ever. She was mesmerized by the scenic nature, something that she was deprived off while growing up at the Capitol and discounting the meadow, District Twelve did not have such a beautiful view as this. Haymitch had to pull her away from the balcony when he saw her shivering slightly from the sea breeze with only her thin dress for protection.

"Nothing much to watch," he reported as he sat at the edge of the bed, flipping through the channels.

"You don't even bother switching on the television back home," she laughed, shaking her head at him. "And that's probably a sign for us to go out more instead of staying in."

"This is a good room," Haymitch stretched across the bed. "A waste to spend it outside."

"Oh, Haymitch, a little socialization won't kill you."

"It won't, perhaps. But all the same, I'd rather stay in today," he replied, walking over to inspect the contents in the mini fridge. He pulled out a bottle of beer after discovering that there wasn't anything stronger than that and adjourned to the adjoining balcony.

Effie moved to join him after making sure that she was sufficiently bundled up.

"Finnick grew up here," he nodded towards the sea. Finnick crossed his mind more often now that he was in District Four. The thought of Finnick not being there to see them in his hometown for something other than a Victory Tour left a bitter taste in his mouth.

"And it's here that his son will learn what Finnick had. Annie always said that he loves the sea as much as his father did."

The rhythmic sound of waves against the shore was soothing to them both. Haymitch stood over the banister looking out over the distance. He could make out tiny figures of people hurrying about preparing for the carnival that was due to begin tomorrow. They were erecting up tents and banners, setting up booths all around and there was a group of men by the shoreline putting on the last coat of varnish for their wooden boats before the sun sets in.

He turned to point something out to Effie who was lying on the lounger and his lips quirked at the sight of her. She was fighting to stay awake, nodding off once in a while only to jerk upright again. The silence was suddenly punctuated by Effie's sharp intake of breath. She gripped the armrest tightly, a slight grimace marring her face before she let go a second later. Effie gave him a pained smile and shook her head.

"You alright?"

"Yes, nothing to worry about," she waved her hands dismissively.

His eyes lingered on her, not quite believing what she said but did not want to press her for answers at the same time.

"Haymitch? We should think of names."

"Too early, isn't it?"

"I don't think so. I'm just worried that we won't have enough time to decide on names before they're born. And - it's even more daunting because we have to think of four names!"

"Four?"

"Yes, four. Two for each gender."

"No one's asked you to keep the gender a surprise, so good luck there, sweetheart."

Effie blinked at him in surprise and smacked his arm with the thick book she was clutching in her hands. She muttered something about how he should also be involved in the naming process. He said nothing as he plucked the book out of her hands to see the front cover. It was a book of baby names and the pages were creased as though Effie had gone through it multiple times, some were dog-eared.

He arched an eyebrow at her. "Research?", he teased.

XxX

They formed an unlikely group as they made their way to the town centre for the first day of the carnival.

Annie, despite the smile on her face had a faraway look in her eyes. Nobody needed to ask to know who she was thinking off. Effie looped her arm around Annie, glad that even if their bond had been forged in the unlikeliest of place, she could still call Annie her friend.

"Finnick would have loved this sort of things," Annie spoke quietly so that only Effie could hear. "He would have shown off his fishing skills with the trident at the fishing competition to Finn, I'm sure of it."

"That would be an unfair competition, wouldn't it?" Effie laughed. "He would win."

Johanna and Felix were hissing to each other under their breaths, probably finding some fresh new insults to lob at one another. Finn was sitting on Haymitch's shoulders since he was the only one amongst them with the required strength to bear the boy's weight and gifted with such a vantage point, Finn became their navigator as the group weave amongst the crowd.

"Uncle Mitch," he began, "the popcorn booth is on the right."

"Don't call me Uncle Mitch. I'm not a Mitch to you, my name's -"

"Haymitch," Annie chimed in, "don't bring him to the booth. No popcorn, not before lunch."

"Sorry, kid - mother's order."

"Oh, Finn - game booth! Want to give it a try?" Felix asked. He hurriedly gestured for Haymitch to put the boy down and with a side-long glance towards Johanna, he said, "Adios, I'm out of here!"

"I can't stand him," Johanna stated out of the blue.

"He grows on you," Effie laughed. "You couldn't stand me either, remember? Back when… Anyway, look where we are now."

"It took years to like you, Trinket," Johanna muttered.

"You and I both, Jo," Haymitch added.

The town centre was bursting with activities and packed with people. From their accent, the majority of the visitors were from District Five and Six, being the nearest districts to Four but there were also those from the Capitol. Haymitch spotted them from a mile away. They wore the nicest clothes and the most insane hats he ever laid his eyes on – hats being the latest trend in the Capitol at the moment according to Felix.

"Trinket, do you own a hat like that?" Johanna pointed to a wide brimmed floral hat as the woman walked past them.

"It's rude to point, Johanna."

"You two enjoy yourself," Annie said suddenly, pulling Johanna away from the pair of them.

Johanna's protest was swallowed as they disappeared amongst the crowd. Effie stood staring after them unaware that Haymitch had moved closer, trying to shield her as best as he could from the rowdy crowd.

"Anything you'll like to see?" she turned towards him.

He looked around, noting the various booths surrounding them but his eyes were drawn to the shore, to the cluster of boats he saw the night before.

"That way," he nodded to his right, steering Effie away from the crowd.

XxX

"Honestly, Haymitch, if instead of drinking, you spent your time working out doing some sort of housework, you would have managed this far more easily," Effie grumbled.

 _How dare she,_  he glared at her angrily.

Haymitch wiped his brows with the back of his hands and looked up at the sky. The plain flannel shirt he wore was at the bottom board of the traditional wooden boat and his white undershirt was soaked with sweat. The muscles in his arms were burning and his long strands of hair were matted to his face. He was seriously questioning his judgment at that very moment; it had looked so easy but it felt nothing like it.

He wasn't the problem, he decided. It was Effie. If she had stayed behind and not insisted on coming along then he was certain he would have fared so much better. As it was, it looked like he was doing all the hard work trying to row the boat back to shore.

"Effie, it's not that difficult," he began with surprising restrain. "Follow what I'm doing. Paddle your oar the same time I paddle mine. We were taught by the same person. It's not that difficult, sweetheart."

"My arms are aching. I've never done this before," she complained.

That did it. He lost his temper. "Then why did you insist on coming with me?!"

"Because… Because I wanted the experience! And I'm pregnant, Haymitch, you can't expect -"

"Don't," he warned, his eyes narrowing a fraction. "Don't play the pregnancy card."

Effie opened her mouth to say something but thought better of it. She adjusted her hold on the oar and tried to match her pace with Haymitch.

"I thought it would be fun," she muttered after a while.

"Yes, we're certainly having fun - stuck in the middle of the sea," he glanced around, at the large expanse of water surrounding them. They were not too far from shore. If he could just coordinate with this hopeless woman, then perhaps, they could make it back soon. In the distance, he could see two figures waving at them – Felix and Annie.

Haymitch shook his head. How did his simple intention of just taking a curious look at those shiny, wooden boats turned into such a disaster? Haymitch had stood with Effie at the shoreline, with his arm around her shoulders, watching the boats row out to sea as the locals demonstrated to the visitors the way to row a boat. He had the sudden urge to be on one; to understand why Finnick loved the sea so much.

With a word to Effie to stay put, he approached one of the local men who was more than happy to have someone so genuinely interested in something he was passionate about. Shouting over his shoulder, he told Effie that he would be back soon. They pushed the boat out to sea and just as Haymitch climbed on board, Effie was there, announcing to him that she would very much love to join instead of being stranded alone.

Effie was a useless companion.

"We'd never make it back," Effie whispered despondently, turning around to look at the local man sitting on the stern sheet behind her.

He chuckled in amusement. He looked to be about Haymitch's age, with tanned skin and popped out veins running up and down his sinewy arms.

"Not to worry - this is why I'm here. Perhaps you've had enough, Miss? Let me have the oars. I'll row the boat back with your husband. Best do it soon before the water turns choppy with the change of tides."

Her demeanour changed and Effie became positively smug.

"See Haymitch, we're not stuck. They're not stupid enough to let us take the boat out without a chaperone – Oh!"

"What?" he asked sharply. He wanted to row the boat out to sea and back to shore on his own. Maybe it was his pride getting in the way but he wanted to have that sense of accomplishment.

"Your hand - give me your hand."

Haymitch looked at her as if she had lost her mind. Before he could say anything, she had already grabbed hold of his hand. Effie pressed his palm flat against the side of her stomach and Haymitch jerked it back in surprise.

"It's alright," she coaxed him, reaching out again.

He let her guide his hand. Haymitch searched Effie's smiling face, his brows furrowed with a look of intense concentration on his face.

"It's odd," he said more to himself.

"It's them."

"Hello," he whispered, his voice scratched against his throat. Rather awkwardly, considering how this was the first time he was addressing the twins, Haymitch said, "it's me."

Something moved beneath his palm. He flexed his fingers and barked out in surprise. A small smile tugged at the corners of his lips. In a daze, he looked at Effie who had laughed at the way he introduced himself and then to the man rowing the boat studiously on his own since Haymitch had abandoned his oars.

"I just felt them move," he announced to the man unnecessarily.

He received a smile in return.

XxX

Her fingers skimmed the surface of the water as Haymitch painstakingly rowed the boat back with the help of the man after the excitement had died down. They hit the shore just as the water began to roll in big waves. All around them, Haymitch could see other people getting off the boat.

"I need a massage. Maybe I'll get room service, I saw that they have such –"

"You will not," she cut him off. "The masseuses are all women."

"So?" he asked as he helped her off the boat.

Effie splashed unceremoniously on the water and grabbed on to his already aching shoulder to steady herself. He gave a sharp hiss and an exasperated sigh.

"Here I thought the esteem Effie Trinket was more elegant."

"Excuse me, but it's difficult to balance myself when I'm pregnant with your children," she retorted. "And why couldn't he let us off at the shoreline?"

He held her hand as they waded out of the water. It was barely up to their knees but Effie certainly took a long time to walk out. The hem of her dress was wet and she was shivering. She stopped suddenly, her hand pressing against her abdomen. Haymitch gave her a sharp look noticing that it was the second time since he arrived that she had been in some sort of discomfort. He said nothing still.

He chose to indulge her and answer the question. "I have a feeling that he thought it'll be funny to see a woman such as yourself with her expensive sandals and dress ankle deep in sea water, wading out like a helpless penguin."

Haymitch knew that was not the reason. The man and some of his friends had rowed out again to the sea and if the boat had hit the shoreline, he would have the arduous task of pushing it back into the water. They were laughing and challenging each other as the waves crashed against their boats, rocking it unsteadily.  _Thrill seekers_.

"Penguins do not wade out of – "

"Look at what I caught!" Johanna jogged towards them holding a fish up by its tail. Finn trailed closely after her, holding a small fishing net in his hand and a pail filled with guppies he had caught at the man-made canals for children. "You should try fishing! It's interesting – oh wow, look at that Abernathy, never thought I'd say that."

"No, thank you," he muttered, "I do not have the patience."

"You just spear it! It's like embedding my axe on a tree branch. Except this one thrashed," Johanna's eyes gleamed with excitement. Effie took a step back, involuntarily. It was times like this that she could see the victor in Johanna seeping out and how that same manic determination had saved all of their lives while in prison - Annie, Johanna and herself.

"We could grill it whole," Annie suggested, approaching them with Felix peering curiously over her shoulder.

"Good idea, I'm hungry." Haymitch said.

"Eat that?" Effie asked. "But – "

"Are you certain that it can be eaten?" Felix questioned the group dubiously.

"Did you misplace your brain somewhere?" Johanna demanded impatiently. "It's a fish, of course, it can be eaten. I understand that back home, since young, you have everything cooked and served on a silver platter but -"

"Jo," Haymitch warned. She was treading on thin ice, mocking his upbringing.

"What?" Johanna asked before turning to Felix once again. "You've never saw a fish before it was cut into those ridiculous, nice little fillet before, have you? Well, this is how raw fish look and smell. No need to look so disgusted, pretty boy."

"You're possibly the meanest person I ever had the unfortunate luck to meet," Felix scowled; his hands went up to fix his hair, in what Haymitch noticed had become his characteristic gesture whenever he was uncomfortable.

Effie covered her hand over her mouth and began to dry heave. "The smell's awful."

"She's right," Felix jumped in. "The smell will cling to my clothes. I'll have you know that this is haute couture. It's specifically tailored for – "

"Think fast," Johanna said suddenly and threw the fish towards Felix who gave a shrill scream and instinctively caught it. The look of pure horror dawned on his face when he realized that he was clutching a dead, wet fish. There was a wet patch on his expensive shirt.

Johanna smirked. Effie stared in shock, her eyes shone with pity at the way Felix look. Finn, thinking that the adults were joking, laughed and pointed at Felix. Annie smiled sympathetically and moved to take it away from him. Haymitch shook his head, wondering why he was stuck with the whole lot of them.

He tugged Effie by the hand and led them away. In the background, they could hear Johanna and Felix squabbling.

"What if your children bickers like them?" she whispered.


	22. Chapter 22

From what little he gathered through the one-sided conversation Effie was having with Katniss on the phone, the change in scenery was apparently "good for him". According to Effie, it relaxes him and smoothened out the worry lines on his face. Haymitch frowned when he heard that, pressing his fingers on his face tentatively as if to check for the said lines on his forehead before he caught himself and scowled in Effie's direction.

"It looks like he doesn't quite agree with what I'm saying," Effie laughed into the phone. "Hold on."

She passed the phone to him, patted his arm with a smile and moved towards the vanity to fix her hair.

"You burnt yet? How's the tan working out for you?" Katniss teased.

"Shut up," he growled. "How's the kid?"

"Which? I can't tell the difference, anymore. You used to call us "the kids" but there's Prim now. So you're asking after Peeta or Prim?"

"Your little angel," he clarified, using the pet name Peeta had given his daughter.

"Not so bad; needs to be fed every few hours as is the case with all infant," she said with a tired sigh. "We're not getting enough sleep. You and Effie better enjoy yours before sleep became a luxury you can't afford."

Haymitch barked with laughter. "Sleep has always been a luxury I can't afford, sweetheart."

He didn't to explain it. Katniss understood nightmares well enough by now.

"Peeta's been feeding my geese? Don't forget to water Effie's apple tree," he added when he saw Effie mouthing about it to him.

He passed the phone back to Effie once he was satisfied that his birds would not starve – they may be mere animals but he kept worrying about starvation knowing how terrible it felt. He vowed that the twins will never know the meaning of the word.

Haymitch tapped his fingers against his knees, impatiently waiting for Effie to end the phone call but soon gave up when realised that she had so much more to share with Katniss about her experience with the boat and the grilled fish Annie had cooked for them which then led to the discussion of Johanna's fishing abilities. With a shake of his head, he went ahead to have breakfast without her.

"I have a list of names," she announced suddenly, easing into the seat across from him.

His eyes flickered up at her as he poured the whiskey into his tea, stirring it carefully before he gave a reply. "Of course, you do. You have a list for everything."

She wrinkled her nose as the smell of whiskey wafted up to her but otherwise said nothing. Now that she was well into her second trimester her sense of smell was not as sensitive as before which was something Haymitch was secretly rejoicing in. He swatted her hand away when she reached over to straighten the collar of his linen shirt. The buttons of his shirt were mostly undone exposing the thin shirt he wore underneath it. When he moved, something glittered at the edge of her vision. She knew what it was without having to look up. Effie had mastered the art of turning a blind eye to his silver chain.

"Thaddeus?" she asked, tapping her pen against her list once they were done with breakfast and had retired to the balcony. "Louis?"

"No and no," he replied. He leaned back against the lounger and closed his eyes, feeling the sun's heat on his face.

"Caesar?"

"Seriously, Effie?", he cracked an eye open, the grey irises of his eyes were a shade lighter in the morning light. "No."

"Why not? Most of the Caesars I know are great individuals, successful in their career – happy, jovial, free-spirited." She sighed and settled down at the end of the lounger where his feet were crossed at the ankle. "Haymitch, please take this seriously. What we name the twins are important. There's a saying at the Capitol –  _nomen est omen."_

"What's that mean?" he asked, reaching over to take his drink off the side table.

"The name is an omen. For example, I know of a judge whose name is Justice. She's from District Five."

"What's your name mean?" Haymitch inquired.

"Well-spoken."

Haymitch choked on his drink. "Well, the saying's bullshit and you're the living prove. Hardly well-spoken, are you?" he muttered. "How many times have you said something inappropriate, hmm?"

"In my defense, there were cultural differences. How was I to know what was acceptable in the Capitol was considered offensive in the District?"

He squinted at her. "You sure Euphemia isn't a word for ignorant or something? Cause you sure were."

Had he said that five, maybe ten years ago, Effie would have been greatly offended but as it were, she knew he was only teasing – his voice was light and held no cruelty to it.

"I'd like to think that I've changed," her eyes flickered up to his before gazing down on her list. "I know myself; the person that I was, where I came from and I've accepted it. Really it can no longer be used to hurt me."

He threw her a grin and gave a curt nod. "Good."

What she just told him was testament to Effie's healing spirit; she was slowly learning to distance herself from the stigma of what it meant to be from the Capitol, especially one that was so involved in the Games, and not allow it to trouble her that much. There will always be those who will not yield and forgive; who will continue to torment her for her past but if she learnt to stay resilient and blaze through them, those words will mean nothing after a while. There were of course moments of vulnerability where it became too much for her and she would keep to herself, not that he could blame her. She couldn't be strong all the time and she will never forget the past. Still, it filled him with a measure of relief to know that Effie would not allow that to destroy her completely.

"What about Hamish, then? Spelt with an I-S-H… without the Y," she went on, trying to get them back on track. She twisted the wedding ring on her finger nervously, waiting for his reply.

Haymitch shot her a disgruntled look. "That's just my name spelt differently. Absolutely not. You're not naming one of the kids after me."

"You're the father… I don't see what's wrong with it."

"Effie, I am unique," he winked. She exhaled loudly and closed her eyes, silently counting to five. "Okay, in all seriousness, the poor child will only be confused. Imagine it, sweetheart – imagine you and me, in bed at night and you're shouting my name because," he wriggled his eyebrows suggestively, "well, we all know why you'll be shouting my name in bed. Now, the little bugger next door will be wondering if you're calling for him. You know what I mean?"

"HAYMITCH! You're absolutely appalling."

He snorted, convinced that he had made his point across. Truth was he would not burden his child with a name like his. There was nothing to be proud of in his name. He'd done nothing in his life except to fail the people who relied on him and drink his time away, and that's not a life he would want his child to have.  _Nomen est omen,_  he shuddered.

"Let's put it this way, Effie. If they're girls, I'm not naming one of them Euphemia, you can be sure about that. Well-spoken? I'd be damned. She'd probably talk my ears off."

Effie crossed out the names on her list that Haymitch had so vehemently objected to.

"Alexander? Tristan? Hansel? Nicholas?" she looked up briefly to gauge his reaction. "Haymitch, I'm nearing the end of my list! There has to be something here that you at least like."

Haymitch stared up at the clear sky above him, blinking slowly as he think. He brought the drink to his lips and paused, looking at the drink in his hand curiously.

"Martini… Martin," he said.

"Did you – No! We're not naming one of my children after an alcoholic beverage!"

He chuckled and his eyes fluttered close. Effie was furiously flipping through the pages in her thick book, muttering to herself under her breath. Then he heard the book slammed shut.

"Let's try the girls, maybe you'd be more accommodating," she announced and Haymitch resigned himself to his fate. "Lily?"

"That's a flower. Are you taking… a leaf out of the Everdeen's books?" he asked and laughed at his own joke.

Effie rolled her eyes. "Aria?"

He shrugged. Effie beamed at him. A shrug is better than an outright rejection.

"Alright, next - Luna?"

"Moon."

"No? Okay, let's see," she bit the edge of her pen. "I've got … Athena? Maryse? Ella?"

He shook his head at each suggestion which made Effie frustrated.

"Oh, Elfie!"

His eyes narrowed. "It's no better than Euphemia. That's too close to  _your_  name."

"What's your problem?" she asked in frustration, chucking the pen at him. It bounced off his chest and clattered on the floor.

"Nothing," he replied, pushing himself off the lounger. He brought his half empty bottle of drink closer to Effie who scrunched her face and pushed it away. Undeterred, he pointed to where the liquid level was. "I try not to make important life decisions until I've drank below a certain line… see here, I'm getting closer. And, since it feels like you're just throwing names at me from the book – "

"I am not throwing names at you! I've carefully chosen the –"

Haymitch shook his head and pressed a finger to her lips, effectively silencing her.

"Shut up. Listen, Effie, you're having twins," he pointed the fact out as though Effie was missing something vital all these while. "Two kids. And there are two of us. I don't see what the problem is – you name one and I name the other."

"Haymitch, do you think this is a game?"

"It's not?" he asked in mock surprise.

Effie threw her hand up in frustration. She was mumbling to herself, calling him all kinds of names he never thought was ever in Effie Trinket's vocabulary.

"Careful there, sweetheart. We wouldn't want the twins to pick that kind of language, do we? I thought they can hear you?" he needled her, watching her face grew red with anger.

"I've had it with you, Haymitch. Is sweetheart the only name you're capable of?"

"I could do princess – princesses? – if they're girls. I'll get back to you on the boys." Haymitch laughed and curled his fingers around her wrist when she made to move away. "Thought you wanted a surprise," he murmured.

"What has that got to do with their names?" she demanded crossly.

"Let's just keep the names a surprise. We each choose one and when the time comes -"

"I don't think that is a good idea at all. I mean, it's nice that we each get to choose a name but – what if I don't like your choice? That's why we're discussing names, so we both like what we choose."

 _Ah, there it is. She doesn't trust me,_  he thought in amusement.  _And she shouldn't – not after Martini…_

"My strategy is to wait for him … or her to be born and see what fits," he told her truthfully.

"Haymitch!"

"Fine, give me the book," he held his hand out.

"Two names, Haymitch - a boy and a girl. You have three months," she said in her authoritative, bossy tone – a tone he had long associated with Effie reaching the end of her patience and wanting him to get things done quickly which, during the time of the Games, would usually end up with him talking to a sponsor trying to raise funds for his tributes.

Haymitch shook his head and snorted to himself once Effie handed him the book and left the balcony. He felt sorry for the twins already. She would be one hell of a taskmaster.

XxX

Later on that day, he found her propped against the headboard, on his side of the bed, diligently flipping through the book on baby names he had taken from her earlier. She didn't even look when up he announced that he was going over to check the bar at their resort.

"You want anything?" he asked.

"Lemon cheesecake," she replied, chewing the end of her pen.

He scrunched his face. "Where the hell do I get lemon cheesecake?"

"I don't know, Haymitch. The restaurant next to the bar, maybe?"

"This – It's not another craving, is it?" he sounded almost fearful. Her eyes sparkled in amusement when she looked up from her book. There was a teasing smile on her lips.

"I don't know but I would really love a cheesecake."

He was sure it was a craving. It was nine at night and as far as he knew, Effie had a rule about not eating past eight or a few hours before bed time at least – something about digestion and maintaining her figure. He turned a deaf ear when she tried explaining to him once.

"If there are no cheesecake –" he started anxiously.

"There will be. Don't come home drunk or you'll have to stay at Annie's," she replied simply.

Haymitch took a detour and instead of the bar, he went searching for Effie's cheesecake. He wouldn't have a peace of mind until he had a slice of it in his hand. It didn't take him long. There were two restaurants within the vicinity of the resort and while the first had cheesecake, it wasn't the one Effie wanted. He found the requested lemon cheesecake at the second restaurant and had it packed in a box.

With that in his hand, he finally made his way to the bar. He realised the problem he faced now – he couldn't stay long because Effie was waiting for him to return with the dessert. He frowned to himself as a thought crossed his mind. If it wasn't a craving, it was possible that she had asked for it so that he wouldn't spend all night at the bar.  _Smart._

"Mr. Abernathy," a smooth, velvety voice called out over the din of the packed bar. Haymitch turned in his seat to see a man in a sleek pressed suit walking towards him. "Elias Lewis. I'm glad to have met you here."

He recognized the name even if that was the first time he met the man. Haymitch shook the proffered hand.

"Thanks for the room," he said, tipping his glass towards the man. "Effie loves it."

Unlike his brother, Elias was all brusque and business-like. If Felix was tall and dark, then Elias was stocky and pale. His thick dark hair - Haymitch really did not see the family resemblance Effie has with Felix or Elias - was combed backwards. He wore a tightly knotted red tie over a pale pink shirt and Haymitch resisted the urge to loosen the tie – it looks terribly suffocating. While Felix boasted those high cheekbones and a sharp angular face that boded well with his lean frame, Elias's features were stern and he held himself rigidly in a very formal manner. His face was slightly chubby and rounded with a pair of deep-set eyes that looked far too intelligent it instantly made Haymitch wary. There was an air of haughtiness surrounding his presence.

"I'm glad to hear that," he bowed his head. "It would be an honour if you could join me."

He gestured towards a private room at the back of the bar. Haymitch shrugged and followed him, not wanting to offend the man whose hospitality had made Effie nothing but happy. A woman appeared behind the curtains and poured them each a drink before leaving them alone with a curt nod from Elias.

"I heard that you've had the misfortune to make my brother's acquaintance," he swirled the drink in his hand.

"He's not too bad," Haymitch found himself speaking up for Felix since he wasn't there to defend himself. He had a feeling that those two brothers had more going on than the normal sibling rivalry.

Elias gave a derisive chuckle. "You don't know him the way I do. The boy's nothing but a handful. Just a trouble piece of…I am responsible for him but he wouldn't listen to me. If he could just follow in my footsteps, he would have a far better life. Anyway, enough about him," he waved his hands, indicating his desire to move on to a different topic when he was the one who broached it. "I heard of your work with the law or should I say against the law? It's fascinating, I must say."

Haymitch didn't reply.

"I build this resort with my wife," he went on, "a joint venture, if you will. She's a small little thing, but brilliant, brilliant mind. I'd thank the law for throwing her in my path but you're not the law's biggest fan, are you?"

"Can't say I am," Haymitch muttered. He had gone nearly a week without the law on his mind and he wasn't sure if he wanted to be reminded of it now of all places.

"Effie's a good catch, all things considered," Elias replied. Haymitch raised an eyebrow which Elias either did not notice or chose to ignore. "Now, my wife and I, we're thinking of an expansion - to District 11 in particular. Their lands are far and wide and there are potential for future attractions there. I would go into details but it would bore you," he laughed softly. "The crux of the matter is that my business partner is prepared to accept a lower percentage of the share provided that …"

There was a pause. Haymitch tipped his glass back and walked over to the various decanters of drinks on the table to pour himself another. He took his time and when his glass was filled, Haymitch turned around to address Elias, wondering for a moment why he was being told things that had nothing to do with him. It was even more puzzling considering that he had only just met the man. Haymitch wasn't a businessman but even he knew that it is not common practice to discuss some business plan with a complete stranger unless… There was something that Elias wanted from him… or Effie.

"Yes?"

Elias smiled and Haymitch's fingers clenched instinctively around his glass. He did not like the way that man was smiling. It was like he knew something that Haymitch did not.

"Effie. My business partner wants her."


	23. Chapter 23

Beyond the private room, the noise from the bar faded into the background. He stared at Elias who returned the look in a calculating manner, seizing Haymitch's reaction to his announcement. Haymitch could hear the roar of blood in his ears, the pounding of his heart in his ribcage and his breathing began to slow down.

He blinked, bringing himself back to the present when Elias moved, dusting the non-existent lint from his expensive suit. He cocked his head to the side and regarded Haymitch calmly; the smile never left his face. It was as if the man spent his time on a daily basis informing people of things they find difficult to accept that the absurdity of their situation no longer bothered him.

"What?" Haymitch asked, finally finding his voice. "Would you like to repeat that?"

"I disagree, on principle, of course. He is talking about another man's wife. He did, however, bring up an interesting point."

"And what's that?" Haymitch growled, taking a menacing step forward.

"You're trying to repeal the law. And I think you've raised some valid points in your argument - this law is flawed. I don't see how much longer the government can keep it around. I'd give it another year or two - enough time to draw up the paperwork and smooth out the details of my expansion and by which time, I hope, that Effie will no longer be your wife. I understand that the divorce process might take a while, but we'll cross the bridge when we get to it."

"Listen here - I don't care about some business expansion. Effie's got nothing to do with -"

"But she has everything to do with his proposal," he exclaimed, the crack in his cool and calm exterior was finally palpable for Haymitch to see. Elias' expression was bordering on annoyance; at the possibility of Haymitch not understanding the point he was trying to convey. His annoyance was short-lived, though, because in a blink, his demeanour changed and the easy smile was back. "My business partner seems to have taken a vested interest in your wife. I am not surprise. He has been harbouring some sort of feeling for her since he first saw her as an Escort a few years ago. It is quite sickening really the way he talks about her and he asked after her often enough. It doesn't help that I am her cousin. Anyway, I am her family and I have her best interest at heart. Once there's no more law, he is her best chance."

"Her best interest? Her best –"

Haymitch swallowed, trying to get the words out but it felt like there was something choking him. His muscles were tensed as the adrenaline coursed through his veins. Haymitch clenched his fist and jammed it in his pocket, trying hard not to punch this man in the face.

"Yes, Mr. Abernathy, her best interest. You don't want to be in this marriage," he stated confidently as though he knew exactly Haymitch's every wants and needs.

"You said you're family? Where were you when she was captured? Where were you when -"

"We all did what we did to survive and I thought Effie had betrayed us. She was fighting for a better life for everyone, I can see that now. Panem is so much better, if you don't take the law into consideration. I see business opportunities everywhere I go."

"She is the mother of my unborn children," Haymitch's fist slammed against the counter, "not a business opportunity!"

"Now, now, there is no need to be angry," Elias said, trailing the rim of his glass with a lone finger. "It's commendable, really, the fact that you're worried about your children even if you do not want the mother. Well, you shouldn't. I have his word that they would be taken care and well provided for – a home, luxuries, good education in the Capitol, anything and everything that a child would need."

"You're mad. You're insane."

"Am I? I'm a businessman and the way I see it, this works out well for all parties involve. I haven't gotten to the best part yet – if you agree to this, you will receive assistance in repealing the law. Anything at all. He will see to it that the law gets repealed at soonest."

"Oh? If he has that much power and influence, then why hasn't he been trying to repeal the law?" Haymitch sneered. "If he was so interested in Effie, why did he not petition for her all those months ago?"

"He couldn't," Elias said simply. "And to answer your first question, Mr. Abernathy, he is not affected by the law so he sees no need for him to dirty his hands before this."

"I know the President. We fought side by side and if what I say couldn't sway her or the Council, how is this… this man," he spat out, "planning to achieve that?"

Elias smirked and clapped Haymitch on the shoulder.

"There is always a way," his voice dropped to soft dulcet tone. He paced the room with his hand clasped behind his back clearly lost in his own world as he began explaining to Haymitch. "I'm not asking much of you. I want you to keep doing what you do – get rid of the law because the sooner the law is repealed, the faster you and Effie will be divorced and when that happen, I can sign the business agreement with my partner. "

"Sign an agreement to give Effie over?", he asked sceptically, the disgust was written clearly on his face. "Effie's a human being, not something you trade-off for a business transaction. Those are my children and I will not have them raised by another man."

Haymitch slammed the glass in his hand on the table and turned abruptly. He's heard enough and if he had to stay a second longer, there was no guarantee that he would be able to control his actions.

"Funny," Elias spoke quietly but his tone made Haymitch stopped dead in his track on the way out. "If - and that is a big if - you could achieve dissolving the law without any aid and when you're both divorced, did you really think that she is going to remain alone? That she would raise two kids in the Capitol by herself while you live out your days in Twelve? I am assuming you will do the right thing and let Effie have the full custody of the children. That she will not find another man eventually, to settle down with for the rest of her life? That this very man could possibly be raising  _your_  children?"

His insides turn cold. Haymitch clenched his eyes shut, trying to block out the verbal assaults Elias was launching in his direction. Images upon images of a happy family, one that he was not a part of flashed before his eyes. He saw two toddlers, squealing and running towards the arms of another man who picked them up as easily as if they weighed nothing and spun them in circles. He could hear them laughing and his heart ached.

Haymitch longed to hear the sounds of their laughter. That would be a welcoming change from the familiar sniffles and sobs of terrified children he was supposed to mentor for over two decades. Haymitch didn't even know he could yearn for something he never had but … he wanted to make those children laugh, for a change; to be the reason his children were smiling.

"We all know who you are, Haymitch," Elias went on, switching to his first name as if to insult him even more. "You may have spearheaded the Rebellion but you're still a drunk and there is a man here, someone I know, who can take better care of my cousin. What difference does it make, really? You find being married to Effie so abhorrent that you had to go before the Council and beg them to end it, so why wouldn't you let her go?"

"Because she is his wife, you blithering fool! And he loves her," the voice stated vehemently. "It's not just about them, don't you see? I don't expect you to understand but he's doing it for everyone else implicated in this law. He is not you – Haymitch is not selfish."

Both Elias and Haymitch turned towards where the voice came from. Haymitch watched in surprise as Felix parted the curtains and walked in. How long had he been standing outside listening to their conversation? Felix's eyes were bright and hard as he glared at his brother with unbridled contempt.

"Felix," Elias greeted smoothly. "You must not know love if you think he loves Effie. Don't meddle in things you don't understand, little brother. Didn't mother tell you it's rude to eavesdrop?"

"Mother's dead," Felix snapped. He must have been on the receiving end of Elias' condescending tone often enough that Felix was immune to it. He laughed mockingly when his brother's expression turned thunderous. "Perhaps it is you that don't understand. Life's more than a contract on paper, more than a business acquisition but I supposed, you've sold your soul long ago to be able to comprehend the depth of human emotions."

During the short time that Haymitch knew Felix, he had never heard him talking so coldly to anyone before. Later on, when he was calm, the event of that night would force Haymitch to re-evaluate what he knew of Felix as a person.

Felix brushed passed Haymitch towards his brother and the movement snapped Haymitch's senses back in place. He held out a hand to stop Felix's march and spun around, advancing steadily towards Elias.

"I find being  _forced_  to marry abhorrent. I said nothing about my opinions on Effie," Haymitch said. Despite the anger he felt, the tone of his voice was calm but deadly and if Effie was here, she would have advised Elias to flee. With Haymitch, it was always better if he explode; shout and scream his heads off because then his wrath will not linger.

Elias must have missed the threatening timbre in Haymitch's voice because he simply smoothened out his tie.

"You seem to think there's something I want out of you… I don't. The only way to keep Effie is to stop trying to go against the law. You don't have any claim to her once the law ceased and you're divorced, you realised that, don't you? But as Felix had pointed out – you're not selfish. You'd do it for everyone else you think is suffering under his law and therefore, you'd continue fighting it and you'll lose her," he smirked knowing he had Haymitch exactly where he wanted him.

Felix lunged for him but surprisingly, Haymitch was the one to hold him back. Elias looked at Felix coolly.

"Your wife and children will have a far better life, one that I'm not quite certain you're capable of providing. You may stay in the room for as long as you wish, of course, I'm not that petty."

With that, the pompous man left the room.

"You nearly killed me for less!" Felix exclaimed indignantly. "You're going to just let him walk away? Come on, Haymitch, show him why you're a Victor."

"Never pick a fight on another man's turf - always find neutral ground," Haymitch muttered distractedly, releasing his hold on Felix. "This is still his property. How'd you find me here?"

He staggered over and sunk on the sofa suddenly feeling inexplicably exhausted.

"I came here to see Effie, actually. Thought I'd swing by the bar for a drink or two and then I saw you following him in here and well… My brother's always been an ass. I've been stuck in painful conversations with him before. It bores me. So I thought I'd spare you the pain and rescue you from his presence. I … I'm sorry, I overhead it," he shook his head. "Let's get out of here."

XxX

They sat on the stairs at the back of the resort drinking from the many bottles of liquor Felix nicked from the private room in Elias' bar before they left. Felix had given him a wicked smile, mumbling under his breath that Elias probably wouldn't even notice the missing alcohols.

"He's not a bad person," Felix said suddenly.

"Your brother? I don't know if he is human at the very core of his –"

That made Felix laughed. "Not my brother, no. His business partner. Klaus Adler. Smart guy, not as ruthless as Elias but a businessman is a businessman - he knows what he wants."

"And he wants Effie," Haymitch pointed out bitterly. "Seems like the man's been obsessed with her for years."

Felix shrugged. "She does have a reputation - former escort to the Mockingjay, one of the surviving rebels and let me tell you something, Haymitch. In this new world governed by your people - by rebel leaders - having someone who was part of the Rebellion would definitely boost his standing in society. And with such a status, it's easier to conduct business. Getting it so far?"

"Yep, the politics isn't lost on me," Haymitch said, sickened by how some people could mix business, politics and marriage into the same equation. He realised then that despite his appearances and the way he conduct himself, Felix was not as superficial as he made himself out to be. He definitely knew the way things work at the very least and since Haymitch was dealing with people from the Capitol, he was discreetly relieved that he had Felix on his side. "Your brother mentioned something … that Adler couldn't petition for Effie under the law. He wasn't affected by it."

"He isn't, not by a long shot," Felix shook his head. "Infertile was what I heard and a damn shame, too. He likes children and children love him."

That made sense all of a sudden. The basis of the marriage law was to repopulate the country. Therefore, there was no way Adler's application for marriage would be approved especially if the woman was found to be healthy and fertile. The law would have assigned any woman he was interested in to a man who could give her a child.

"That's why…"

"Yeah," Felix nodded. "Effie and the twins come as a package, I supposed, if you want to think about it as clinically as that. He could raise the twins from infancy. I don't doubt Elias when he said that Klaus would provide for the children."

"There are war orphans he could adopt," Haymitch pointed out.

"Sure, but he isn't going to raise the child alone, is he? He'd want a wife and the law's taken all the woman with child bearing abilities to be paired with…" he trailed off but Haymitch knew what he wanted to say. "Since he's obsessed with Effie, he might as well… He's as much a victim of this law as you are, if you think about it."

"Yeah, but excuse me if I'm not about to suddenly sympathise with this man," Haymitch grumbled. "But if he could help with the law –"

"You're not honestly considering it, are you?" Felix was appalled.

Haymitch exhaled and took a long swig from his drink. "We need all the help we can get. The second appeal's coming up and honestly… I don't know how that's gonna go."

"You understand what you're saying right? You accept Adler's help and you're going to owe him one and there's only one repayment he'd ask for."

"I know," Haymitch hung his head, accepting the bottle of gin Felix pressed into his hand. "But you're forgettin' something."

Felix turned. His green eyes bore into him, waiting patiently.

"Your brother's right. I have no claim over Effie once the law's over."

"Then stop fighting the law," Felix answered.

Haymitch scoffed. "That's out of the question. I started this so I'm gonna finish it. Even if I don't, someone else will definitely do it. The country fought through a Rebellion, they'll fight through a simple law - just a matter of time."

"You're right," Felix agreed. "If you give up, that Mason girl will take your place. She said being married is suffocating."

"And she's right," Haymitch agreed which earned a glare from Felix. He was surprised Johanna would tell Felix something as personal as her marriage. He thought they couldn't stand each other. "Look, Felix, whatever that happened tonight stays between us. Effie doesn't need to know any of it. Not yet, at least. The stress it'll put on her pregnancy…"

"Yes, of course."

Haymitch nodded in appreciation. He mentioned about checking out of the resort, refusing to spend another minute in Elias' hospitality but Felix shot it down.

"You have to act normal! If you leave and move back to Annie's place for the remainder of the carnival, Effie's going to ask why. Best if you just stay put and max out Elias' hospitality. Go to dinner, get room service, use up everything in the mini-fridge, you know?" Felix took a breath before the manic excitement in his voice died down. "I'd tell you not to worry about this - that Effie will never agree to Adler - but Elias and Adler didn't get to where they are by giving up so easily. Keep her close, Haymitch and she might just surprise you."

XxX

Haymitch stayed up with Effie that night, sharing the lemon cheesecake he bought for her. He tried to pay attention to the movie they were watching and to Effie's little comments here and there about the plot but his mind was elsewhere.

"You're distracted," she stated.

"Hmmm?"

She let out a breath and twisted around to look at him. "What's wrong?"

"Who said there's anything wrong?"

"I don't know…" she shrugged, "you just seem distracted is all."

"You told me once that Felix and his brother were the only cousins you could stand," he began. "You're close to his brother as you are with Felix?"

Effie was startled by the sudden question and he knew why. He seldom asked after her family since he never wanted to talk about his own. To Haymitch, as long as he kept his nose out of her family affairs then Effie didn't have the right to ask about his own.

"Elias, Felix, my sister and I went to school together. He's the same age as my sister and they were very close. Sometimes I envy their relationship. He's like… this older brother I never wanted," she laughed. "We were close while growing up but Elias drifted from us and Felix couldn't get along with him. It was difficult. Elias' always busy but we'd get together whenever we could, before the Games started each year."

"An older brother…" he repeated in a breath. "So… whatever he says, you'll listen to him? If he gives you advices or…suggestions…"

"Why… Why are you asking me that?" she frowned.

Haymitch shrugged. "Curious."

"You're acting very strange since you got back from the bar," she remarked. Effie fluffed her pillows and pulled the covers to her chin. "I'm going to sleep. We have to meet the rest early tomorrow. Goodnight, Haymitch."

She kissed his cheek and turned to her sides. Haymitch switched off the bedside lamp but he couldn't sleep. He didn't want to get the whiskey because he would not be able to think clearly if he was drunk and he needed to think things through.

XxX

His skin was sticky and Haymitch was in a general state of discomfort. His sore muscles from all the rowing he had done the day before had not lessened before he strained them again carrying Finn on his shoulder at the carnival that morning.

His only relief came when the group of them retired to the beach in the afternoon and Finn took off running into the sea, already a natural swimmer like his father was.

"Not one for swimming, Haymitch?" Annie asked as he sat down next to her on the mat.

He shook his head. His eyes never strayed from the group of them soaking in the water. He watched them like a hawk, feeling mildly concerned that Effie might drown. He could not quite recall if that woman ever learned to swim and if she went under, he did not have faith that Felix would be of much help; Johanna maybe, but not Felix.

Effie was dressed in a one-piece dark blue swimsuit with her baby bump protruding out for everyone to see. Johanna was baring too much skin which was not something he had not seen before. She had stripped naked on a few occasions; her way of intimidating and introducing herself to any new Victors previously. After four years of being in the same Victors lounge witnessing such a thing, Finnick and him had worked out a system. Finnick would give him advance warning whenever he thought Johanna was about to introduce herself and Haymitch would make himself scarce.

Effie wasn't swimming as much as just standing with the water around her, splashing Finn in the face. He could hear her laughter whenever the boy returned the gesture with as much enthusiasm.

"Enough swimming, I believe it's time I let the creativity in me shine," Felix said over his shoulders and plopping down on the sand. He began building sandcastles much to everyone's amusement. "You know, Annie, I've never done things like this back home."

"Then you should come by more often," she replied. Haymitch could tell that despite his rather odd personality, Annie genuinely liked Felix. Then again, this was Annie and she was nice to everyone. Turning to Haymitch, she said good-naturedly, "stop glaring at anyone who even remotely looked at your wife or Johanna."

"I'm not sure I'm comfortable with Effie exposing this much skin in public," he mumbled.

"Look, Uncle Haymitch, I've caught me a baby crab!" Finn came barrelling towards him.

Haymitch nodded. Finn's face fell when Haymitch said nothing.

"Are you okay, Haymitch?" Annie asked. "You look like you have something on your mind."

He forced a smile on his face. "You know just thinkin', that's all."

"About the twins?" Annie inquired. "It's normal to be anxious. I think all fathers are."

Felix who was quietly listening in to their conversation looked up and their eyes caught. Haymitch tore his gaze away, not wanting Felix to know how much the incident yesterday bothered him.

"Annie? You want to help me with the sandcastles?" Felix called out.

Annie's face lighted up. She dusted the sands off her dress and went over to Felix. Haymitch gave him an appreciative nod, glad to be left alone with his thoughts.

XxX

He tried not to let his worry show. It would have been easier to just drown the persistent worry in his mind with alcohol, to stop feeling and passed out intoxicated but Haymitch had not been as drunk as he was during the Games since Effie got pregnant. To do so will only make her worry and when Effie started worrying, she would start demanding answers.

It was without much arguing and resistance that he agreed when Effie said she wanted to go to the night festival. She was already wary and suspicious about how distracted he was since he returned from the bar and Haymitch thought the night festival was a good way to get the heat off himself. In a crowded place, Effie's attention would be focus elsewhere instead of him.

The night festival was just as Annie had said - it was mostly dancing and singing with a spread of seafood at the side. It was held at one of the fishing piers. The place was illuminated with lights of various colours and intensity. Even from a distance, Haymitch could already hear the music playing and the sounds of people laughing and talking.

Effie shook her head when she saw a drunken man fell over the railing and into the cold water below. His friends hooted with laughter before they climbed down the ladder to help him up. She pointed to a group of teenage boys out at sea, racing each other on their jet skis.

"Maybe we should try that one tomorrow," she suggested eagerly.

Haymitch raised an eyebrow.

"Or maybe not, perhaps some other time after I've given birth."

"A wise decision," he murmured.

Within the short time that Effie was in District Four, she had apparently made some acquaintances with the locals. They greeted her enthusiastically and were exceedingly thrilled that she could make it. Haymitch nodded politely as he trailed after Effie, his eyes swept over the pier trying to locate if there was a bar somewhere.

"I'll be over there," he whispered in Effie's ear, jerking his head to the other end. He grabbed a bottle of beer on his way.

Leaning against the metal railings with his drink in his hand, Haymitch watched the ships across the bay, wondering what it would be like to sail across the ocean. Somehow, he doubted that he would like it very much unless they have a copious amount of alcohol on board.

"This is nice, isn't it?" Effie asked, passing him a plate of food, gesturing at the festival.

He dropped his head in frustration when she appeared so soon. He turned around, propping his hip on the rails. Somehow he knew she wouldn't leave him alone. Effie must have thought that it was her civic duty to ensure that he at least had a good time at some social convention.

"The food isn't so bad. Marinated squid," he said, holding his plate up. "Want some?"

"I want to dance," she said wistfully. "Come dance with me, Haymitch."

"I don't dance."

"I, for one, know that is a blatant lie," she replied. "I'll be back then. That gentleman over there asked me for a dance and I thought I'll ask you first out of courtesy. Anyway, I'll see if he's still up for it."

Then she was gone; smiling with wild abandon as she weaved amongst the crowd dancing around her. An elderly man dancing on the floor with his young granddaughter took Effie by the hand and twirled her around when she passed by. Effie laughed happily, gave a tiny wave to the girl and went on to the other end of the pier. Haymitch swallowed his food and took off after her.

He grabbed her wrist as she jerked them away in surprise. Her lips curled in a smile when she saw who it was.

"Have you come to dance?"

"One dance," he said. "And then we're heading back."

She nodded. Effie stepped closer to him and looped her arms around his neck. His hands came to rest on her waist as they swayed slowly to the music. He remembered the last time he had danced with her during their wedding ceremony. The bride and the groom had opened the dance and once the song ended, Haymitch had stomped off to slump in his seat for the rest of the ceremony. Not exactly a good memory for Effie, he supposed.

The wind was blowing wisps of her hair in her face and a few tendrils had escaped from her ponytail. Effie's blue eyes shone bright under the moonlight and as they danced under the night skies, Haymitch couldn't help noticing that Effie Trinket was many things. In her simple dress and lightly powdered face, Effie wasn't a head turner like some women he knew. She was pretty, plain and simple, but there was also an air of vulnerability about her that made him want to keep her close and safe but beneath that layer, was a strong will that kept her going.

"You're staring, Haymitch. It's rude to stare even if I'm your wife," she teased.

"Eff," he swallowed, debating if he should even bring it up. He asked in the end, thinking that he had the right to know. "You'd raised the kids, won't you? And not let someone else do it?"

Her brows crinkled, the question had clearly offended her. "Of course, I will," she said defensively. "I'm not going to cast them -"

"That's not what I meant," Haymitch clarified. "I meant you -  _you'll_ take care of them - and not… not some stranger, someone you don't know."

 _Not Adler,_  was the person he had in mind,  _not raised the twins_ with _Adler._

"What are you talking about, Haymitch?"

He sighed. "If there's someone else, you'd discuss it with me first, won't you? They're my children, too."

Effie shook her head. "Haymitch, I really don't understand -"

"Will you?" he asked, his voice came out more harshly than he intended to.

"Will I look after my own children? Yes. Will I discuss their upbringing with you? Yes," she held his gaze steadily. They had stopped dancing and were standing amongst the dancing couples around them. "What's going on? Something's bothering you, isn't it?"

"No, I'm just checking. Can we head back now?"


	24. Chapter 24

An owl hooted in the distance and as the night grew, the surrounding air became much cooler. Effie pulled her cardigan tighter around her and wheezed a step behind Haymitch. She knew she was slowing him down and if he was alone, he would have reached the resort long ago.

Still, he kept his mouth shut and walked with her at her pace. The resort wasn't that far but he noticed how as her pregnancy progress, she became breathless rather easily and took double the time to travel anywhere by foot.

"Do you want me to carry you?" he asked, deadpanned. "Wait - how heavy are you?"

Effie blinked owlishly up at him. She swung the purse in her hand as Haymitch ducked just in time, laughing quietly to himself.

"I'm sure you can carry me quite easily, Haymitch," she responded, "but thank you for the offer. I'm fine."

"You shouldn't have exerted yourself. The swimming this mornin' and then this festival. Too much standing on your feet. If I wasn't there to keep an eye on things, you would have danced all night. I've watched you at those Capitol parties long enough to know you enjoy these sort of – "

"Haymitch…"

"- social functions. You gotta remember that you're now -

"Haymitch, stop! Are you lecturing me?" Effie grumbled. "You're giving me a headache. Please, just… just be quiet."

Haymitch snapped his mouth shut. Usually it was him who would be grumbling for Effie to stop nagging and for to shut up but …  _Shit, I am turning into her._

"Are you coming or are you just going to stand there?" she called over her shoulders.

It was with a measure of relief that they finally made their way back to their room some thirty minutes later. Effie announced that she needed a shower and beat him to it. Sighing, Haymitch flopped on the bed, staring up at the ceiling as he waited for her

He had been waiting close to an hour to use the bathroom and Effie was still not done. Haymitch was tired and frustrated, and growing increasingly impatient as he paced the room.

"Have you drowned in there?" he pounded on the door.

There was the sound of bottles falling to the floor and a muffled reply from behind the door. He rolled his eyes.

"I'm comin' in," Haymitch announced before he turned the knob and peered inside the mist covered bathroom. As if soaking in the ocean earlier wasn't enough, he found her in the half-filled tub, her hand clutching the edge of it in an attempt to push herself up when he walked in. She looked at him like a deer caught in the headlights.

"Sorry, were you waiting for me?" she asked.

"What do you think? You're ain't the only one here who needs a shower."

"It's just… My back's aching," she admitted reluctantly.

He narrowed his eyes at her and tilted his head to the side.

"No, don't start about how I shouldn't exert myself," Effie warned. "The warm water actually helps to soothe the pain. I guess I lost track of time."

Haymitch dipped a finger into the tub, the water rippling at the movement and arched a questioning eyebrow.

"Well… It  _was_  warm enough," Effie shrugged.

The water was no longer warm and had gone to room temperature so he really had no clue what she meant when she said it was helping. Sighing, Haymitch turned on the tap and waited for the other half of the tub to be filled with warm water. The sooner he rendered his assistance, the faster he could clean himself and adjourn to the balcony with his liquor. Effie watched him curiously, pressing her fingers gently over her lower back in an attempt to relief the ache. When the tub was sufficiently filled, Haymitch stripped his clothes off and stepped in.

"What are you doing?" Effie asked in alarm.

"I would rather not be doing this, sweetheart and I don't want you to take this as precedent for future deed," he replied, settling in behind her. "But waitin' for you is like waiting for Felix to find a nice young woman to marry, so I'm doing this for my own sake."

He saw the fleeting confusion passed across her face but the moment she felt his large, calloused hands on her back, applying just the right amount of pressure to loosen the taut muscles, her face relaxed as his intentions became clear. Her eyes fluttered close as her head drooped forward in a clear sign of contentment.

"Here?" his asked gruffly.

"Slightly lower."

He worked quietly; his long fingers expertly massaging her lower back to release the tension. Haymitch moved his way upwards, rubbing his hands in circles on her shoulder blades to the base of her neck. Effie had gone strangely quiet during that time. Fearing that she might have fallen asleep, Haymitch splashed a handful of water on her face. She jerked upright and sputtered incoherently, suddenly very alert. His own muscles were aching and he really did not want to carry a pregnant Effie to bed.

"You! You –" she stuttered hopelessly, trying but failing to string a proper sentence together. "I don't understand how you can be so endearing - lulling me into a false sense of comfort – only to be so extremely rude the next."

"It's an acquired skill," he replied smoothly. "Something I doubt you'd ever master. I take it you feel better?"

Effie nodded. In one fluid motion, Haymitch stood up and held out his hand for her.

"Now get out. I need to shower."

XxX

Effie had somehow managed to fall asleep when he emerged from the bathroom. A heat pack she was using before she fell asleep laid forgotten on the bed. Drying his wet hair with a towel, Haymitch picked the heat pack and threw it carelessly on the sofa. He poured himself a drink and settled down on the armchair next to the bed, watching her quietly while his mind raged with a million thoughts.

_You have no claim over her._ _Her best interest…_

Why couldn't he be her interest?

The more he drank, the more his thoughts turned bitter and angry but he answered his own question with relative ease which only made him feel even worse. How was he supposed to be her best interest when he was the one who was actively trying to end their marriage?

Effie had not once mentioned that she wanted their marriage to end. She may have implied it before her pregnancy but if their argument over the nursery was anything to go by, it almost appeared as though Effie wanted them to be together – him, Effie and his children – to be a family. But he dare not let his thoughts to even consider that possibility.

His hand hovered on the air, hesitating briefly before he rested it on her belly. Haymitch watched her face, not wanting it to disrupt her sleep but he had nothing to worry about. Effie was snoring lightly, oblivious to the world. The twins must be asleep too if babies actually sleep in the womb. There were no movements; no kicking, no odd little flutter that he felt on the boat. Nothing that will disturb their mother's sleep.

 _How considerate,_  he smiled wryly.

XxX

When the sun began filtering through the crack of the window, Haymitch stirred in his sleep and mumbled sleepily to Effie to draw the curtains close. Instead, he felt her lips on his jaw. Her hand was tracing random pattern on his chest and when she saw him cracked an eye open, Effie smiled.

"Good morning," said, placing a soft kiss at the corner of his mouth.

"Is this for the massage yesterday?" he yawned.

He reached out and in his sleep clouded mind, Haymitch moved to lace their fingers together. Effie's eyes flickered to their hands still resting on his chest and then back up to his face. He could feel her baby bump pressing into his side. Lifting his head slightly from the pillow, Haymitch gaze down at her quizzically when he did not receive a reply.

"Your book mentioned an increase in libido sometime in the second trimester," he recalled, his head sinking back into the pillow. His eyes were close and Effie could tell he was losing the fight to stay awake. It was still far too early and Haymitch usually only wake up much later. "Is this it then? You want to have… to do it?"

Effie pulled away from him with a huff of indignation.

"For the love of -" she broke off, clearly at a loss for words. "You sure know how to kill the mood. Do I want to do it? Really? Really, Haymitch?"

"What?" he blinked his eyes opened.

"You're asking me the same way you'd ask if I want to take a walk," she rambled. "It's ridiculous."

Haymitch pushed himself up and leaned on his elbow, looking at her with confusion. "You expect me to - what? - romance the hell out of you? You married the wrong guy. I'm just being practical. I'm just checking to see if you want to do it or not. If not, then I'm going back to sleep," he said in a matter-of-fact.

Her jaw dropped open. Effie pushed the covers back and swung her legs over the edge of the bed, muttering darkly under her breath about men and their idiosyncrasies.

"Alright, alright," his hand shot out to grab her wrist. "No need to be angry. Come back to bed. Go back to sleep. It's still too early, anyway. If you wake up angry like that you'd be in a terrible mood the entire day and nobody needs that."

Reluctantly, she scooted back and laid down with her back to him. Effie smiled when she felt him cautiously draped an arm over her midsection, as though he was uncertain if it was the right thing to do. When Effie did not react, he pulled her against him and kissed her neck, suckling softly at the smooth skin.

"Now who wants it?" she teased. They were really terrible at this, she thought to herself.

"Does it matter, really? Didn't the law say we have to copulate or something?" he replied cleverly.

"Nice try, Haymitch," she laughed. "You're not that much of a model citizen, you know. Stop trying to abide the law in times like this."

"You're calling me a hypocrite?"

Haymitch trailed his hand over her now slightly tanned leg, inching her nightgown further up as his fingers crept over her inner thigh. He turned her over on her back. Gently, he manoeuvred himself so he was braced against the mattress as he hovered over Effie.

"Careful," she warned, smiling up at him. "Don't crush them."

Haymitch rolled his eyes. Her hands roamed his chest before hooking them around his neck. She tugged him forward, urging him to close the gap between them. Effie scraped her nails against his scalp when he deepened the kiss. He stared into her eyes, his thumb stroking her cheekbones lightly as she gave him a lopsided smile when they pulled away.

"I think this is how a honeymoon should feel like," she whispered.

"This isn't a honeymoon, sweetheart."

Haymitch coaxed a moan out of her when his palm ghosted against her breast. He stooped down to kiss her once again when he felt her stiffened suddenly beneath him. Then her hands were pushing him away.

"Are you okay?" he asked, looking at her uncertainly.

There was a look of surprise on her face. Her eyes were wide with beads of perspiration beginning to form on her forehead and he began to realise that something was wrong when her hand went to her stomach just as her face scrunched in discomfort. Effie waved her hand at him and beckoned him towards her.

He was resting on his knees on the bed, staring at her in an undisguised worry. "Effie? Did I hurt you? Was it my weight?"

She shook her head, taking in deep, shallow breaths. The sheets were clenched in her hand in a tight fist as she bent slightly forward.

"Effie?"

"It's spreading," she breathed slowly, "to the back of my leg. It's just aching."

"What? What's spreading? Talk to me. Come on, what's wrong?"

Haymitch brushed her hair back and rubbed her back, and then her calves hoping that it would help to alleviate her symptoms. It took her several more minutes before she unfurled from her curled position on the bed. Haymitch stacked the pillows against the headboard, urging her to lie back.

"Are you in labour? It's too early, isn't it?" he was beginning to sound hysterical, his voice had gone a pitch higher.

Despite her situation, Effie still managed to give him an incredulous shake of her head and a nervous laugh.

"No, not in labour," she assured him. "It'll pass. Just give me a minute."

"This is… You've been in some sort of pain since I got here. I never brought it up before but… this is the same as before?"

She nodded. "I don't know what's wrong. I don't think it's anything serious," she told him. "It'll hurt for a little while, that's all. Just… let me hold your hand."

He extended his hand dutifully and Effie grabbed hold of it, squeezing it tight. It didn't take long for her breathing to return to normal and for her to give him a faint, tired smile.

"I'm okay now."

"I don't think this is normal," he frowned. "There should be a doctor here. We'll ask Annie. Let me call her."

 


	25. Chapter 25

With Effie's persistent assurance that she was fine, that the pain was not bothering her at the moment and Haymitch's stubborn insistent that she couldn't possibly be sure there would not be another episode, it came as no surprise that the pair were fighting as they made their way over to Annie's house.

"What's the doctor going to do, Haymitch? Induce me into giving birth?" she asked rather impudently.

"They can do that?" he asked with astonishment. It was a phenomenon he was not aware of.

Effie exhaled loudly. "I'm pregnant, Haymitch. I'm bound to have a little bit of discomfort here and there."

"I think this is more than just a little discomfort, Effie. Why are you so stubborn?"

Effie growled and raised her hands in frustration. "You're being overbearing! I'm fine. F-I-N-E!"

"Hate to point this out to you, sweetheart, but you ain't a doctor so you're no good giving out judgment like that."

"Is this how you're going to be with the twins?" she demanded with her hands resting on her hips. "You're going to drive them insane. You'll be one of those overprotective fathers, aren't you? If we're having girls, they're going to have a difficult time finding boys in their lives when the time comes around. I can picture it."

Haymitch squinted and pierced Effie with a glare.

"If you refuse to seek medical care, we don't even have to go there. You might not even have any children for all I know," he told her harshly. "And don't try to change the subject. For the record, no boys will come within ten foot of the twins,  _if they're girls_."

His words had the intended effect. Effie looked visibly upset; her lips quivered and she reached out for him, seeking either his comfort or to reassure him, he didn't know.

"They're going to be okay," she whispered so quietly Haymitch nearly missed it.

"Can the both of you please take your lover's quarrel somewhere more private?" Johanna shouted at them from the open window they were under before Haymitch could reply. "I'm trying to sleep. Is that too much to ask? I'm sure I'm not the only one. Finn is still asleep and if you wake him up, I'm gonna kill you both. I spent the entire night entertaining that kid, I'm exhausted. Go and quarrel under Felix's window, if you must."

XxX

They had come to a compromise with Effie promising that she would visit Dr. Bell once they return home the next morning. It didn't mean he liked it but the alternative of irritating and making her angry in her condition wasn't a viable option. So he did what was within his power at the moment, Haymitch watched her like a hawk.

"My brother bothering you again?" Felix asked, coming to stand next to the tree Haymitch was leaning on.

"No," he frowned, perplexed by the sudden question. "Why'd you ask?"

"Just the way you look…Swallowed something sour then?"

He shook his head, his eyes never leaving Effie. At least she was making his job easier, sitting quietly on the bench by the pier, observing Johanna and Finn crab fishing while Annie went off to get them something cooling to drink. She told him once that she liked watching the way Johanna and Finn interacted. The things Johanna did to indulge her godson would spoil the boy rotten one day. It was effortless how the toddler brought a smile to Johanna's face, elicited that bark of laughter from her and lifted her spirit, allowing that glimmer of a woman in her early twenties to filter through the wall she had built around herself.

"Finn, I hate crab fishing!" Johanna's sharp voice pierced through the air.

Haymitch was momentarily distracted by the outburst and craned his neck to figure out what was making Johanna upset. He frowned as he watched the young woman hauled the dome-shaped crab trap out of the water before throwing it on the ground in frustration when all she discovered was seaweed in the trap.

Next to him, Felix gave a raucous laugh. "Nice try, Mason," he hollered.

It was still a mystery to him how someone as petite and small as Felix and Effie could have a voice so loud and piercing that it made him cringe. Johanna threw them a look of complete disdain the same time that Haymitch's lip quirked into a smirk waiting for the insult Felix was bound to throw in Johanna's way.

"Word of advice, darling, just stick to fishing, at least then we'll have something nice to eat," Felix teased.

"But we have two crabs here, Felix!" Finn defended her, running straight towards Felix with his pail swinging back and forth in his hand.

"Those are tiny. I don't think it's edible at all," Felix crouched down to Finn's height. "They're like baby crabs."

"I'm keeping them," Finna announced with finality. "They're my pets. Effie said Uncle Haymitch has geese so I'm keeping crabs."

Felix wrinkled his nose. "Why can't you have something more normal? Puppies?"

"Haymitch!" Johanna shouted suddenly.

He tore his attention away from Finn and Felix. In the distance, Johanna was crouching next to Effie whose face was scrunched in pain.  _I only looked away for a second,_  he thought fleetingly.

Haymitch sprinted towards them with Felix and Finn trotting behind him. "What happened, Eff?"

She shook her head, breathing heavily through her nose, her hand reaching out for his. For the second time that day, he let her squeezed it in an attempt to regulate the pain. Johanna rubbed her back awkwardly, looking up at Haymitch every few seconds with a questioning look on her face. Haymitch shook his head at her.

After a few minutes, Effie straightened up. "It's not so bad. Just some aching is all."

She released her hold on him and began rubbing her stomach gently, cooing something indiscernible to her unborn children.

"We're going back to Twelve," he announced.

"No, I'm fine," she assured him.

"Yes and I'm Plutarch Heavensbee. Stop deluding yourself. We're getting you to Dr. Bell," he retorted tersely. Haymitch stared down at Effie, daring her to disagree with him further.

"It's probably nothing, right, Annie? It's a normal part of pregnancy," she turned towards Annie; her blue eyes were wide with worry, seeking comfort from someone with the necessary experience. Annie handed a paper cup to Effie wordlessly having joined the group the same time Johanna called out for him.

Haymitch looked at Annie imploringly, seeking the same sort of answers.

"It could be Braxton Hicks but that's usually painless. Has this happen before?" she asked.

"A few times," Haymitch answered, explaining the few occasions when he witnessed Effie in pain.

Annie frowned with a contemplative look on her face. "I'm sorry, Effie, I think I agree with Haymitch on this one. You should see your doctor. There's a doctor here, of course, but if it is as Haymitch explained with irregular intervals before the next pain, you should see your doctor – she'll know your history best. "

"What's wrong with them, Effie?" Finn looked up, pressing his ear to her stomach surprising both Effie and Haymitch himself. A smile broke across his face and his eyes lighted up with excitement, "they're coming to play with me?"

Effie smiled at him, brushing his lock of bronze hair softly. "Not for a few more months, sweetie. You have to wait a little while longer, okay?"

Finn nodded and moved to stand next to his mother. He tugged Annie's dress, whispering in her ears while casting furtive glances at Haymitch.

"Will Uncle Haymitch get angry if I don't play with them. I don't like girls."

"If they're girls, you have a duty to look after them," Haymitch said gruffly, having heard what Finn was whispering. Haymitch shifted his attention to Effie, arching an eyebrow silently asking if she was ready to return to Twelve.

With a sigh of resignation and defeat, she pushed herself off the bench with Haymitch's arms supporting her.

"Take me home, then."

XxX

Haymitch wondered if they would have to fight and argue before they ever came to a decision, if that was how things would always be with them. He wanted them to go to the hospital the moment the train pulled into District Twelve but with all their luggage and things they brought with them from Four, Effie wanted to deposit them at home first.

She raised a valid point, one he tried to counterargue unsuccessfully. Their journey home was relatively painless for Effie without any more episode of abdominal cramp.

Effie had gone on ahead while he juggled with their bags up the stairs. He was halfway up when he heard her calling out for him. Letting go of the bags in his hands, he ran up and came to an abrupt stop when he saw that she was fine. She was standing just outside the room to the nursery, with a hand covering her mouth.

"Stop scaring the shit out of me," he grumbled.

Slowly, she twisted her body towards Haymitch, blue eyes glistening with unshed tears and a look of disbelief written across her face.

"What did you – Haymitch, it's beautiful," she breathed out.

Effie walked in, fingertips trailing across the painted wall, a hand resting on her stomach. Haymitch watched passively from the doorway, nerves tingling in anticipation as he waited for her approval or comments.

_She better like what I've done or that'll be the last of it - I'm not doing anything anymore._

"Did you do this?"

"Yeah," he answered. "Yeah, I did."

She gave him a smile. "You didn't pay someone to paint this room for you?"

He glared at her. "Sweetheart, it took me one and half day to paint the entire room. The effort it cost me was –"

"I'm joking, Haymitch," she giggled at how defensive he sounded. Effie held out her hand and tugged him closer to her. He rubbed the back of his neck suddenly feeling silly for flaring up.

"I didn't mean for you to find out this way. I thought maybe… Well, I haven't actually thought of how best unveil this room to you but I guess it's pointless now. It's to your satisfaction, I hope?"

"Yes, it is," she moved towards one end of the wall where a mural had been painted on. "I know for a fact that this wasn't you."

"No," he chuckled. "It's the kid."

Effie stood to admire the drawing of a train docked at the station with a flock of birds taking flight. She began to notice the details – there were four train cars with the first two bearing the name "Haymitch" and "Effie". "Why are the other two cars empty? Oh, is it meant for the twins' names?"

"Yeah, I think that's the idea. I told him to do whatever's appropriate. In case that you don't like it, let me just say that I left it completely up to Peeta and I had nothing to do with it. If you have any complains, take it up to him. Personally, I think the names on the train are slightly over the top. It's cliché at best but that sentimental boy thinks -"

"Haymitch!" she admonished him. "I like it. I would prefer a painting of a garden, like the one in Primrose's room but that would be too feminine, I supposed. Since we don't know their gender, this is good. He chose a neutral colour scheme too. I think we can buy a chest for their toys and put it on this wall. A play area, what do you think?"

He shrugged. How was it that he was standing here with Effie Trinket of all people discussing wall designs and room decorations for their children? It was so surreal that if five years ago anyone had told him that this was what he would be doing, he would send them to a psychiatric ward.

"Oh," she squealed. "I like what you did with this wall, Haymitch."

Effie's attention was now focused on an opposite wall where Haymitch had done something he was actually quite proud of. On a dark blue string, hanging on wooden pegs he had taken from the clothes lining were the sonograms from Effie's nightstand, all three of them. She fished through her purse for a pen and stood on tiptoes to write down the weeks the sonograms were taken.

"If you wanted to show them their development or something…," he muttered.

She sidled up to him and looped her arms securely around his neck. Almost naturally, he rested both hands on her waist, one of his thumb idly rubbing circles on it.

"Is this where you get all sentimental and emotional?" he asked in a snarky manner.

"Oh just let me be," she rolled her eyes. "You're sweet, you know. You are when you want to be. Thank you for sending me away with Felix so you could work on this without my knowledge and without me interfering with it. I'm sorry, Haymitch, for overreacting about this room weeks ago. I was just… frustrated and -"

"I know. Overdramatic, too," he smirked. His voice took on a serious tone. "But listen, Eff, if you ever tell anyone or repeat that I'm  _"sweet"-_ although I'm rather certain you're delusional for even thinking it - there will be hell to pay."

"Did you threaten me just so that I'll hide the best of you from the world?"

"Yep," he replied smugly. "Now, I believe it's time we go to the hospital?"

XxX

Haymitch folded his arms across his chest when he saw the frown gracing Dr. Bell's face the moment Effie began telling her the symptoms she had been experiencing. His chest tightened and constricted as he contemplated the possibility of Effie's pain being part of a larger complication.

"I'm going to have to keep you here," the doctor told Effie who promptly, as he expected, put up a fight.

Dr Bell patiently told the resistant woman that a few days in the hospital wouldn't hurt while she ran some test. A disgruntled look from Haymitch silenced all argument Effie had on her lips. Her eyebrows crinkled in annoyance, her lips set in a straight line.

"Don't be selfish," he snarled at her when the doctor was out of ear shot. "I don't care if you're indifferent about your health but that's my children you're carrying."

Effie glared at him, the offended look at his insinuation that she was selfish were plain for him to read. Haymitch studiously ignored her only catching her eyes minutes later when he slid the admission papers across the desk for her to sign.

The nurses took blood samples, sent her for multiple ultrasounds which eased the worry in Haymitch's mind when he saw the babies' movement on the screen, something that Dr. Bell seemed to be satisfied with at the same time.

"You little ones are fine," she smiled. "I'll let you listen to their heartbeats, if it makes you feel better."

It was the third day of her stay in the hospital, right after Peeta and Katniss left with Prim that Dr. Bell came over to Effie's room with a folder clutched in her hand.

"I have good news and bad news," she told them.

"Isn't it always that way," he muttered.

"The good news," she started when Effie asked for it, "is that the babies are healthy. During the ultrasound, you both saw for yourself how active they were. So that's good – steady heartbeats and fetal movements."

"And now the bad?" Haymitch prodded.

"What's causing Effie's abdominal cramp are uterine fibroids. They are tumours that grow from the cells of your uterus."

"Tumours?" interrupted Haymitch.

"Don't be alarm; it's benign," Dr. Bell assured them when she saw the look of horror Effie exchanged with Haymitch. "Yours it would seem is growing on your uterine wall. It's very small, about the size of a pea and is non-life threatening. Most women with fibroids sometimes go through their entire life not knowing they have one."

During Dr. Bell's explanation, Haymitch had unconsciously moved closer toward Effie's bed and hovered next to her protectively as if his mere presence could somehow erased everything and cure her.

Effie listened intently as the doctor began listing out the common symptoms of fibroids – painful periods, backache which are more severe than those normally experienced by pregnant women and pelvic pain amongst others - nodding once in a while when she recognised some of the symptoms.

"What about my babies? How are they affected?" Effie questioned worriedly, her children's safety at the very forefront of her mind.

"Like I've said, it's very benign in your case. It's small and I don't see it causing much of a problem except for the discomfort you've already been experiencing. In some cases, if the fibroids are blocking the cervical opening - which is not the situation for your case - normal delivery would not be possible. There is however, a recorded risk of premature delivery or miscarriage associated with fibroids," Dr. Bell explained. "This is where things get a bit more difficult. As I've already told you early on in your pregnancy, you have a high risk of miscarriage considering the trauma your body went through during your imprisonment –"

"What?" Haymitch blurted in surprise, his head swivelled towards the doctor. Effie's eyes widened in astonishment and shook her head discreetly at her treating doctor.

Dr. Bell took no notice of Haymitch's outburst, thinking that he was still in shock about the news of Effie's fibroids instead of the fact that this was the first time he ever heard of his wife having such a risk.

"- and I'm really, really pleased with your progress so far especially now that you're in your second trimester, the risk has decreased minimally. But with the fibroids to take into account, I just want you to be very, very careful and everything should be fine," she smiled kindly at Effie whose attention was now distracted by her very irate husband standing next to her. "You and your twins just need to hold on for three more months."

 


	26. Chapter 26

 

_A lot can happen in three months._

Haymitch was not a pessimist. He'd like to think of himself as someone who would rather expect the worse because that expectation would have created an emotional buffer for when something terrible actually did happen. He did not turn out to be this callous drunk without life being brutal to him.

It was second nature how all the worst possible scenarios began to form in his mind as he learnt the news of Effie's pregnancy. His shaking hand curled into a tight fist which he shoved into his pocket. The silver in his eyes had dimmed to be replaced with a faraway look of someone gazing into the future to get a sense of the trouble that lay ahead. Frown lines marred his face and it took a while for Effie's voice to bring him back.

He blinked and stared down at her, jaws clenched and muscles tensed with resentment.  _How dare she? She had no right to keep that information to herself. I deserve to know._

"I can be discharged today," she informed him with a small voice. "There's nothing much she could do. I'm told to have a lot of bed rest and ice packs or warm bath whenever I experience the cramping. She'll be giving me medications."

Outside the hospital room, in the distance at the town centre, Haymitch watched a boy unload a crate of milk from the back of the truck from his place by the window. The boy gave a grateful smile when a man, his father, climbed on board to help him. Something stirred inside of Haymitch, a longing and an ache to have what he just witnessed. To have his sons or daughters smile up at him because he did something for them.

"Haymitch? Please don't ignore me, say something at least."

The bitterness roared inside him and Haymitch spun around, stalking towards where she sat, looking tiny and miserable on the hospital bed. "You didn't think it was important to tell me?"

Effie recoiled, the harshness in his voice brought up memories of dark times she tried so hard to keep at bay every moment that she was awake.

"I didn't know I have fibroids until today."

"You know damn well that's not what I meant. Don't play dumb with me, Effie, it doesn't suit you," he moved to the foot of her bed. "What was that 'bout you havin' a high risk of miscarriage or.. or premature delivery?"

His own breathing sounded loud in his ears, deep and rapid, especially in a room that had gone silent. Effie averted his gaze, pushing the covers aside and slipping into her slippers. He watched her as she shuffled around, retrieving the clothes he had brought for her from home. Her back was towards him as she shrugged out of hospital gown to change, still ignoring his question.

"Have you suddenly gone mute?" he asked snidely, the impatience lacing every syllable of his words.

"Haymitch…" she turned around, fixing her blouse and gnawing on her lips nervously, "can we go home now?"

"Why? So you can hide in our room like how you've been hiding that information from me?"

"Haymitch, please," her voice was strained. "Not here."

XxX

He made sure she had everything she needed before he disappeared from her side. It was his way of coddling her without making it seem like he was doing it. He did have his surly, drunken reputation to maintain. Effie smiled to herself as she rearranged the medications Haymitch had laid out on their vanity. There was even a heat pack nearby.

Effie was lying propped on the bed with a parenting book in her hands when Haymitch walked in that evening. His pants were muddy and his shirt was dirty. He pulled it over his head, leaving a soaked undershirt on and dropped it on the floor of their bedroom. Effie made a noise of disapproval and moved out of bed to pick his shirt off the floor.

"Leave it alone," he snapped at her, poking his head out of the bathroom. "Get back to bed and rest."

"You shouldn't have just thrown it carelessly on the floor in the first place if you don't want me bending down and picking it up. You know I don't like it."

"And I don't like havin' things kept hidden from me but that didn't seem to bother you, did it?" he responded.

Her mouth snapped shut. Turning away from him, Effie made her way back to the bed. She picked up her book, sitting at the edge of the bed and staring at the covers. Her thumb ghosted over the picture of a toddler on the front cover. Her eyes stung but she willed herself not to cry, not in front of Haymitch. God knows the kind of scathing remarks he'd make if he saw her cry.

"Why are your clothes dirty?" she asked, trying to distract herself.

"Katniss asked if I wanted to go to the woods with her."

She heard what he didn't say – that he went along with Katniss because he didn't want to be in the same room as her. Effie heard the shower running and let out a breath at the few minutes of reprieve she had. She didn't think she could stand another moment of having Haymitch looking at her with contempt.

Effie used the time to think, knowing she only has minutes before Haymitch step out of the shower. She never meant for him to find out in that manner, didn't mean for him to find out at all. It was never her intentions to keep it from him, not out of spite, at least. There was a point in time when she wanted to tell him but there was always something stopping her – a voice whispering in her ear convincing her that it was  _her_  pregnancy and that it was none of his concern, not when he hardly care about her.

But of course, she was proven wrong on that account. He had shown so far that he cared, if not so much for her, then at least for the twins. He was capable of caring so much so that the news made him angry. Her sister once told her, that someone capable of so much anger and so much pain also has the capacity to hold so much more love and passion. The same fire that fuel the anger could fuel something else and that was it with Haymitch.

Effie twisted the wedding band around her finger distractedly. She shut her eyes to block out everything else and saw the nursery Haymitch had painted even after she had thrown a fit about the room. She bit down on her fist.

XxX

"I was scared," she began haltingly, staring at her hand while Haymitch paced their bedroom like a caged tiger, hair still damp for his shower. "I was angry. We were – when I told you that I was pregnant, you were mad at me. You blamed me for it as if… as if I had done it on purpose, that I had condemned you. You… you said terrible things to me that day."

Her voice wavered slightly and her hands shook. Effie jammed it under her thighs and sat on it, so he wouldn't see.

"Effie…"

She shook her head to silence him, her lips pursed in determination.

"You wanted to know the truth, didn't you? You wanted to hear it so much. Don't interrupt me then," she told him firmly.

He grunted under his breath but waved his hand for her to continue.

"Do you remember what you said to me that day?" Without waiting for his reply, Effie went on. "You asked if there was anything I'm good at, other than to make myself look pretty."

Haymitch stopped pacing abruptly, throwing her a surprise look. He raked his fingers through his hair.

"I never forgot what you said to me when I told you I was pregnant. I don't because… because it hurts, you know?" Effie told him wistfully. She pulled her hands from under her and her fingers began to fiddle with the bracelet.

She could see him looming over her before he sat next to her on the bed.

"I didn't mean… You shouldn't take it to heart. You know I've always had a terrible –"

"I tried to make myself be a part of this new world," she said, "tried to be a functioning member of society, one that didn't involve sending children to die. I went to work at the medicine factory not because we needed the money but because… I saw it as a way to give back to the society in some small ways. It could never measure up to what I've taken from them, from this district but I had to try."

A tear fell on her palm and Effie curled it into a fist. She could feel his eyes on her; saw how tightly his hand gripped the top of his knee. She felt the small, jerky movements he made as he stretched and retracted his hand. He wanted to comfort her but she knew he didn't know how.

"I tried, Haymitch, and to have you tell me that I could never be good at anything other than being an escort… well, it pains me. But I think you're right," she nodded to herself. "I don't know how to be good at anything else. I don't even know what I'm good at. I can't do anything right by you."

"You're being too hard on yourself," he offered feebly.

Effie snorted and wiped the tears with the back of her hand. "You're just saying that now. I don't know how to be a wife, Haymitch. I don't know what I should do to make you see me, to make you want me. I don't know how to be a mother. I don't have a slightest clue about what I should do with a baby much less two. I'm reading as much as I can but what if that is not enough?"

Haymitch pressed a facial tissue into the palm of her hand. Nodding her thanks, she dabbed her eyes with it.

"When I was told that I have a slightly higher risk of having a miscarriage, I was upset. I didn't know what to do. It was unfair; it wasn't my fault, it wasn't. You know why I didn't tell you? Because I didn't think you'd care since you never wanted a child in the first place."

Next to her, she heard his sharp intake of breath.

"But that wasn't really the reason. I… I didn't want you to have something else to use against me; to mock me and humiliate me even more. I didn't want you to tell me that I am so terribly hopeless that I couldn't even carry the twins safely to full term. I didn't need you to point out to me something else that I'm not good at. I didn't need that."

XxX

Haymitch stared at her. That was the only thing he could do.

He wanted her to shut up. He needed her to. Every word felt like a blow to his guts. But he couldn't. He asked for it and she was giving it to him.

 _I don't know what I should do to make you see me, to make you want me._  His mind went through that phrase in a loop. There was so much to process but that stood out so prominently.  _She wants this marriage?_

He forced himself to listen, quelling the urge to throw a vase or the bedside lamp in frustration. Did she really think of him that severely? That he would mock her and use all of those against her? Had he ever gave her a reason to think that he would?

"I had a thought… that maybe if I had a miscarriage, it would be good for both of us. No child should grow up with a father who doesn't want her."

 _Her – a girl._  That's what she always thought of her unborn children.

"Then I realized that this is  _my_  baby and I love her. How could I love someone I've never even met? But I do and she doesn't need you if you don't want her. She has  _me_. Slowly, things change. You changed. I thought you buying me crackers and sitting with me on the bathroom floor when I was sick was just a passing thing. That maybe you felt guilty about the way you acted. But then you came with me to the Capitol, you made sure I could satisfy my cravings. You stopped drinking around me because I couldn't stomach it, you accompanied me to BabyTown with Felix and you even started showing some interest in my pregnancy. By then, I didn't know how to tell you about the risk anymore, Haymitch. I didn't know how to break it to you without making you hate me even more."

"I don't hate you. I find you bothersome, sure, but I don't hate you, sweetheart," he encircled her in his arm and pulled her close. Effie broke down into fresh tears and buried her face on the crook of his neck, her fingers curled around the front of his shirt, clutching on to him desperately. "What happened to you during the Rebellion, Effie? What did they do to you?"

"No," she said, shaking her head vehemently. "I – I don't want to talk about that. Please, don't make me. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about the risk. I really am and I wished I had told you earlier."

He nodded.

"But this … what you're asking… I can't, Haymitch. Not now."

"It's just a risk," he breathed out as if to assure himself. "Life's full of risk, anyway. You and I both know that after everything. And Dr. Bell seems optimistic so ... We just gotta be careful, right?"

He stood up suddenly, pulling himself away from her and nodded to himself.

"Nothing will happen, not if we're careful," he repeated.

Haymitch retreated into himself. He absentmindedly pulled the covers around Effie, brushed her hair back and turned off the lights. Then he left, closing the door quietly with a click, leaving Effie alone to her own thoughts and him to his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone's wondering, I made reference to Chapter 7 in this and as to why Effie referred to her baby as singular because she was talking about the time before she found out they were twins.


	27. Chapter 27

 

The hallway was dark, illuminated only by a single overhead lamp which cast a long shadow on the floor as he walked unsteadily on his feet. He had gone off to drink after the talk with Effie and had somehow lost track of time. After everything she had told him – her feelings, her fear, how hurt she was – Haymitch kept away from her, unable to bring himself to even look at her. When he agreed to marry her, he told himself that he would protect her, keep her away from the men who had petition for her but he had hurt her and rather cruelly at that.

Haymitch had no idea how long he had been roaming the house but his feet brought him here again at last. He stopped by the door and moved the liquor in his hand behind his back. Just to be on the safe side. Slowly, Haymitch turned the knob and pushed open the door to their bedroom quietly, poking his head in to check on Effie.

She was asleep with the parenting book she was reading earlier lying face down on her protruding belly. He gravitated towards her, his hand reaching out for the book, making a mark on the page before he kept it away on the nightstand. His hand hovered over her belly, hesitating to himself just before he laid it flat on her stomach like he had in their hotel room in District Four. He waited and was about to pull his hand back when he felt it, a soft pressure against the palm of his hand, a kick.

He managed a grin which spreads across his face as he felt the flutter of movement beneath his palm. "It's gonna be okay, peanuts . Your mother and I, we'll… we'll keep you safe," he muttered quietly to himself. While he wasn't sure how exactly they were going to accomplish that, all he knew was that there was a growing sense of responsibility as Effie's due date approaches and a strong need to keep his family away from harm.

Effie mumbled something in her sleep as she shifted and turned sideways, forcing Haymitch to pull his hand away. With a shake of his head, he turned off the bedside lamp, tucked the covers under her chin and left the room, heading for the front porch.

XxX

The space next to her was empty with the pillows untouched and Effie knew Haymitch did not sleep that night. Even if he did, he probably slept someplace else. Effie rolled over and sat at the edge of the bed, pausing to take a deep breath. She gave a little wince when she felt the twins moved inside of her. The movements were getting more frequent especially in the morning and in the evening, and it was something she definitely needed to get used to.

"Good morning, my sweets," she whispered quietly, rubbing her belly in circles. "I think your daddy's angry with me because he's worried about you two. He won't say, of course. I'm going to find him, he's got to be somewhere in this house."

The first place she checked was the nursery since that was where she found him the last time they had a disagreement. It was empty and he was nowhere in sight. Effie gave a loud sigh. The empty room was another reminder that she still needed to purchase some furniture. Taking one careful step at a time, Effie made her way downstairs and began the tedious search for her husband. She found him outside, sleeping on the chaise, snoring softly with an empty bottle of gin clutched to his chest. An empty whiskey glass was on the floor next to the chaise and his uncapped silver flask was lying on its side. The wind blew gently in her direction and carried with it the stench of liquor.

"Haymitch," she poked his shoulder sharply. "Wake up!"

Haymitch let out a grunt. She propped her hand on her hips and snatched the bottle from his slackened grip. The movement startled him and he jerked upright, eyes wild as he scanned his surroundings.

"Shit, Eff," he exhaled loudly when he realised it was only her and not the monsters haunting his usual dream.

Now that he was awake, Effie slowly lowered herself on the wicker rocking chair next to chaise.

"You spent your night getting drunk."

It wasn't a question, more like a statement. Her voice was steady as she said it. No anger or resentment.

Haymitch, she noted, at least had the decency to lower his gaze. He picked up his silver flask off the floor and slid in into his pocket. When he finally looked up, Effie was watching him.

"That's hardly news, is it, sweetheart? I'm always drunk," he told her.

Haymitch pushed himself up, swaying unsteadily on his feet. He pressed the heel of his palms into his eyes, shaking his head as if to clear his vision.

"I know you're always drunk," Effie said. "But you haven't … You haven't been this drunk, too drunk that you passed out for a few months, Haymitch. Why are you doing this now?"

"Oh? Oh, why am I like this? I've always been like this. You married a drunkard or have you forgotten?" he spun around, sneering at her with his face inches away from hers.

His breath reeked of alcohol and Effie recoiled. She didn't quite know where his bitterness was coming from. When she woke up that morning, she was not expecting this from him. Had he not held her as she cried yesterday? Told her that all they needed to do was to be careful with her pregnancy? Was he angry that she did not want to share her burden in prison with him?

She frowned, annoyed at Haymitch's unpredictable mood swings.  _And they say, my hormones are acting up._

"No, I know who I married," she jutted her chin out stubbornly. She stood up to face him. "The man I married cannot process emotional pain without the aid of alcohol. So the fact that I found you drunk could only mean one thing."

"And what's that, sweetheart?"

"You care about us," she spoke softly. "If not me, then at least, your children and the thought that – that something could happen to them made you panic so you went back to the only thing that you knew; the only way you know how to deal with the pain."

It must have hit a mark because his mouth snapped shut. Haymitch blinked and stared at her as she stared back.

"Haymitch, I know I've hurt you when I didn't tell the risks I have with this pregnancy. I'm sorry," she spoke softly. Effie stretched out her hand and tentatively laid it on his arm. When he didn't pull away, she moved closer. "I'm their mother and I promise, I wouldn't let anything happen to them."

"You can't be sure of that," he mumbled.

"No, I can't. But I know you'd be there," she gave him a half smile. Her fingers grazed the stubble on his cheeks. Reluctantly, he forced his eyes to meet hers. "I know you, Haymitch. You'd watch me like a hawk – you wouldn't let me out of your sight until you've seen the twins alive and healthy a few months from now – and it'll annoy me because I think you're being overbearing but it's just who you are, isn't it?"

"Is it? Since when did you become an expert on my personality, Effie?"

"I've worked with you for so many years, I've learnt a thing or two," she teased. "You don't like to read the morning papers because it's depressing, two thirds coffee and one third alcohol each time, you don't like your yolks runny, you hate it when I waste food, the sound of children crying makes you run faster than if I were to announce that Felix is moving in with us and your favourite –"

"Alright, alright. Show off."

Effie giggled. Her movements were careful and deliberate, as if she was dealing with a wounded animal. Effie moved closer and wrapped her arms around him. His reaction was instantaneous. Haymitch went rigid before his muscles relaxed and he wrapped his own arms around her waist, burying his face on the crook of her neck.

"I'm sorry, Haymitch," she repeated, stroking his hair soothingly. She felt him nod in response and the arms around her waist tightened.

"I can't stop drinking," his lips moved against her skin. "I – It's been too long and I can't just…"

"I know. I've never asked you to quit, didn't you realised that? You don't have to be  _this_  drunk, Haymitch, not drunk enough to pass out. Just … for their sake, you can cut down on it, yes?"

"I'll try," he said, lifting his head up to look at her.

She gave him a grateful smile but it slid off her face when he suddenly stiffened in her arms. Effie saw the misgiving in his face, the same expression he had when he was woken up from a nightmare and trying to orientate himself with reality. Haymitch pulled away, bringing the arms around his neck down to her sides before letting go of his hold on her.

"I – didn't mean to," he gestured at the space between them. "My head feels like exploding. I'm gonna …"

With that, Haymitch left, supporting himself on the walls as he went inside the house. She could hear him bumping into the furniture. Effie gaped at him; it was always like that with Haymitch. Just when she thought they were making progress, he took two steps back.

 _At least, he's no longer angry,_  she sigh.

XxX

The next couple of days went by relatively normal for the pair of them. Effie took heed of Doctor Bell's advice by staying at home and resting. She occupied herself by browsing through catalogues for furniture that Felix had given her previously and had even managed to rope Haymitch into giving an opinion or two.

He perused the newspapers in the evening, scanning for anything that could help him with the appeal; for suicides, or abandoned babies or family violence. He used to discuss the news he learnt with Effie but as her pregnancy progresses further, he refrained from doing so. It was not because he wanted to keep things from her but he thought there was no use discussing Panem's problems and making her upset. If she happened to read the papers and came across an article that bothered her, she would discuss it with him and he would talk to her about it.

There was a scowl on his face. The people in town had given him a wide berth on that particular afternoon. Haymitch had gone off to the town market with a list of items Effie needed in order to restock their kitchen. She had wanted to come along but he was adamant about the fact that he was very much capable of purchasing milk and bread and long beans on his own. As he walked out of the post office after delivering Effie's order of furniture to Felix, Haymitch found his path blocked by a man he used to drink with at the bar. He had taken one look at the paper bag in Haymitch's arm and burst out laughing at Haymitch mockingly.

"Did your Capitol doll managed to domesticate you, Abernathy? That the reason we don't see you around the bar anymore?"

"Move," Haymitch commanded.

"Who'd have thought Haymitch Abernathy would live under the thumbs of a woman? You're turning soft, aren't you? Such a shame. Well, don't worry. Once you get rid of her and the brats she's carrying, I expect I'll see you around with a drink in your hand again."

That was when he lost it. He swung his hand. His fist connected with that man's jaw. Haymitch heard a satisfying crunch as he crumpled on the floor.

"I know you're not the brightest of the lot but didn't your mother ever teach you never to insult a man's family? You talk about her like that or if you so much as call my children 'brats', I'll be happy to rearrange your face," he threatened.

His knuckles were starting to bruise and he made a mental note not to let Effie see it. He didn't feel like explaining anything to her.

There were other things for him to worry about when he returned home. Effie was not in the living room, so he assumed she was upstairs in their bedroom reading or taking measurements of the window in the nursery for curtains she had wanted to order. Haymitch was just depositing the grocery on the kitchen island when he heard her screaming.

XxX

_Effie nestled the bundle in her arms close to her chest. There was another infant wrapped in a tattered blue blanket next to her on the floor. The shaking woman choked back a sob and laid a trembling hand on top of the infant. The baby was quiet, not a single sound escaped from his blue lips._

_"Please, sweetie, just hang on a little while. You'll be okay, I'll get you out. Please -" Effie broke off, staring up at the figure casting its shadow across her with astonished eyes that turned bright and hopeful when she recognised who it was. "Haymitch," she breathed out, "Haymitch, please."_

_He walked in, swinging the cell door open. In her relief, Effie did not think to ask how he could easily unlock the metal door. She handed the small infant she was cradling protectively in her arms to her husband. Effie was on her knees, fully intending to scoop up her other child when Haymitch's hand closed around her upper arm, his grip tight like a vice._

_"He's dead, Effie. Leave him, he's gone," he told her urgently. "We have to go. Now."_

_"No - Haymitch what are you saying? He's your son, you can't leave him! Please, please, we have to -" she pulled her arm away from him, resisting his effort to drag her out of the cell. She broke free easily with Haymitch struggling to keep her in control and balancing his only surviving child in his arm._

_"Effie," he whispered, angry and desperate. "Listen to me, sweetheart -"_

_His words hung in the air and when Effie looked up, she saw why. Haymitch was staring down the barrel of a Peacekeeper's gun. He turned towards her, their gazes met and then she screamed. He jerked his head back in surprise, blood trickling down from the small bullet hole in his forehead. The look of surprise was still etched on his face as his body fell backwards and hit the ground with a thud. There was a second 'pop'. Bright scarlet liquid spread through the yellow dirty blanket she had wrapped around her son - the one Haymitch was carrying._

_The Peacekeeper turned towards her with a glint in his eyes. He took a step forward as Effie moved a step back, stumbling over the infant on the floor. He lowered his gun, aiming it at her belly and cocked his head to the side, waiting for Effie to scream or to beg for mercy. She looked down on her rounded belly and then up to the Peacekeeper again, the confusion written all over her face._

_She was still pregnant. But there were already two children…_

_A sharp piercing pain erupted from her midsection. Effie clutched her stomach and sank on the floor, her eyes wide with horror. She felt the cold metal of the gun against her forehead._

_The pressure lifted momentarily. She felt herself struggling against something that was crushing her, holding her tightly together. Her eyes flew open and she gasped, desperately trying to fill her lungs with air._

XxX

"Hay - Haymitch," she clutched the front of his shirt, sobbing and gasping. Her pupils had dilated. Effie was shaking and sweating with her hair matted to her face.

"It's just a bad dream. You're alright. You must have fallen asleep. Just a dream, Eff."

"No. Everyone's dead. You, our children… They killed our sons. I was in Snow's prison... But… I don't understand, Haymitch. I had the twins with me and you were there but I was still pregnant."

"We had two boys?" his brows crinkled.

"They're dead. He shot them."

"Effie, it's a nightmare. It's not real."

"I never had nightmares like this, Haymitch. Never. They're so… It's so much worst."

"You've been dreaming more than normal, haven't you? You've told me about some of it at times. Remember that dream, when you brought two toddlers to the meadow or the one with Finn playing with two girls or how about the one where Felix visited those two little boys with toys he bought from the Capitol? It's normal to dream in your condition, Effie. Something about it being more vivid … We read about it in your books."

"No, Haymitch, you don't understand. This one felt very real. They killed you first. You were carrying one of the twins. And then-" she hiccupped. "Can you check? If they're still alive? Haymitch, please, it's … I'm sorry… I'm sorry - I should have listened to you, I should have followed you out of the cell."

Her thoughts were breaking and fragmenting. One moment, she appeared to understand that it was a dream but the next, she was talking as if she was still living her nightmares.

Right now, Haymitch had no idea what she was blabbering about but he had to do something before he lose her, before she retreat into her mind and spend hours quietly staring into nothing. It happened a few times before; during the first few weeks of their marriage but he had thought that that was just normal behaviour since they weren't talking much and during the three weeks of them not talking to one another when Effie found out she was pregnant. He knew that she had set outside at the porch in the middle of the night doing nothing except to stare into the darkness.

He mentally labelled it as 'Effie's episode', something that happened whenever she was extremely upset or stress. They never talk about it given her penchant to avoid any and all topics concerning her imprisonment. The strain of the past week must have triggered her memories of prison to send her into this state.

With a measure of delicacy, he pried her fingers away from her face and tilted her chin up, urging her to look him in the eyes.

"It's not real," he stressed. "This -" he brought her hand down between them and laid it flat against the bump on her stomach - "this is real. They're safe inside of you."

For a moment, she stared at him - her eyes were blank and unfocused. It unnerved him so much because he could usually read her like an open book, knew what she was feeling simply because her eyes could be very expressive. Haymitch gave her a little shake.

"Come back, Effie. Focus on me," he commanded her attention. Haymitch applied a little more pressure, pressing her hand against her belly.

There was a jolt as she blinked in disbelief the moment she felt the slight kick under her palm.

"They're - they're alive. I felt them move."

Haymitch made a sound at the back of his throat; a chuckle and a sigh of liberation rolling together . "Yes, that's what I've been trying to tell you."

She smiled up at him; the relief flooded her being. Effie settled back with her hand still resting protectively on her stomach. "You're right. It's not real"

"No, it's not," he agreed.

He brushed her hair back tenderly and dropped a kiss on her forehead, surprising them both. When he realised what he had done, Haymitch cleared his throat and straightened up.

"Your ah… your grocery's in the kitchen," he told her. "You can put it away."

"And what happened to your hand?" she asked, pointing to his bruised knuckles.

"Your fault. Knocked into the stairs banister when I was rushing to get to you the moment I heard you screaming," he lied.

Effie eyed him dubiously but said nothing. He helped her off the bed and down to the kitchen, wondering how Effie was going to make it in the Capitol alone with their children when her nightmares were still plaguing her. There has to be a way for him to keep them safe and have the law rescinded at the same time.

 


	28. Chapter 28

Prim was asleep on her stomach in the cradle Peeta had temporarily moved to the Abernathy's nursery from their house when Effie agreed to babysit for the night. Haymitch peered into the cradle, a frown marring his face. It's been a few months but Haymitch still would not carry the little girl and when Effie had asked, he had muttered something about his hand being too large and the infant being too fragile.

"This can't go on, Haymitch. What's going to happen when the twins are born?" she asked.

"I'll get there."

 _I can't really hurt her,_  he rationalized with himself.  _Just carry her the same way Effie does._

He caressed her cheek with the back of a finger, watching Katniss' little child quietly. Haymitch had never once mentioned it but he was proud of her and the boy. Against all odds, they've made it to where they are now. Peeta, whose mind had been hijack, had led his life teetering between what was real and what was fabricated, and Katniss, his resilient girl, had fought so hard and lost everything. But his kids rose above it all and it made him swell with pride.

"Haymitch!" Effie's urgent voice brought him back to the present. "I have a problem."

"What is it?" he whispered so as not to wake the sleeping child. It had taken Effie nearly an hour trying to put her to sleep.

Effie beckoned for him to follow her. He could tell that she was upset judging by the way her lips were pressed together into a thin line. Effie said nothing as she led him back to their bedroom.

"Did a storm pass through in here?" he asked.

After months of living in a house that was squeaky clean with nothing out of place, he found himself slight disoriented by all the mess. Effie had been trying to distract herself from the boredom of having to stay at home by doing things he would rather avoid altogether. The cupboards in the kitchen had been thoroughly cleaned. She threw out things that had gone past its expiration date and sent him off to town to restock their supplies. The day before, she had rearranged what little books he owned in alphabetical order – "Oh, Haymitch, we should get more books for the twins, too. Bedtime stories, you know?" - and her collections of fashion magazines by its issue date. Judging from all the clothes and shoes strewn all over the floor, it appeared that Effie had taken it upon herself to clear out their closet.

Effie ignored his question.

Pulling out the stool from under the vanity table, he sat on it with his legs crossed and fingers drumming impatiently on his knees as he watched Effie rummaged through her piles of high heels.

After a while, he asked, "I thought you said you had a problem?"

"I do have a problem."

She whirled around to face him with a pair of silver stilettos hanging on the crook of her fingers. "I can't fit into my heels anymore! It's a disaster. Half of my shoes are useless now."

"Wha-" he opened his mouth to speak. "That's the problem? How …"

"Were you paying attention to what I said? I can't fit into them!"

To drive the point home, Effie dropped the pair of shoes on the floor next to where Haymitch was sitting. With her hand on his shoulder for balance, she jammed her right foot into it and Haymitch immediately understand what was making her upset. He started to chuckle derisively.

"I see," he nodded. "Effie, please, we need to work on your definition of the word problem."

"Haymitch! This is not to be taken lightly."

He did roll his eyes at that. "You'll fit into those shoes once you've given birth. Put them aside for and don't think about it. Why the hell were you trying on your heels, anyway? What happened to those sandals and … what are they called? Flats?"

"Yes, flats" she nodded distractedly. "I was just trying them on, I'm working through them to see which of those can be given away and that was when then I realized I can't fit into half of them! Oh, Haymitch, this is such a tragedy."

"Maybe you should give them all away now," he muttered under his breath. Slightly louder, he said, "save your theatrics, sweetheart. You're pregnant. Your feet are swollen. I don't know what you're expecting but logically, you won't be able fit into them for the next few months."

"Well… Yes, but I'm just -"

"Upset," he finished. "You're supposed to be  _resting_ , Effie."

"But I am. Cleaning is very therapeutic. It helps me relax. You should know that!"

"Right, of course," he nodded, running his hand over his face. "I've been meaning to ask, what did the guy at the factory said when you called him?"

"He said he understands and that I can take a leave of absence till I've given birth," she answered, carrying a pile of clothes in her arms and dumping them on the bed before she started folding and segregating them based on how often he wore those shirts.

Haymitch scowled at her. "Till you've given birth?"

Her gaze cut to his. Her senses were suddenly alert, picking out on the underlying unhappiness in his voice.

"You gonna go back to work after the twins are born?" Haymitch questioned.

"Not immediately, of course," Effie answered quickly. "But… Eventually, I would like to return to work - be it here at the factory or back the Court House if and when the law's repealed."

His brows creased. It was the way she said it that made him uncomfortable. The indifference in her voice as she talked about the law and about returning to the Capitol without the usual irritation or sadness or even anger that was always evident each time the topic came up made him fidget in his seat and Haymitch was not the kind of person who would fidget.

Could it be that she had finally accepted the inevitable; that she would one day moved back to the Capitol when they dissolved their marriage?

"What of them?" he nodded at the swell of her belly. "Who'll take care of them if you're going back to work?"

"Haymitch - "

"Listen, Eff. You're your own person. I get that. You've always done what you wanted. You want to go back to work? Fine. I can't stop you. But I have the right to ask after my children. Did you factor them in when you -"

"Of course, I did!" she replied indignantly.

Effie reached over and grabbed the folded newspaper he had left on the vanity yesterday. She flipped through the pages until she found what she was looking for. Pointing to the advertisement on a nanny agency, she said, "the law may be absurd but one can't accuse the Council for not trying to make its citizens' life easier."

"You trust someone else to -"

"Only while I'm away at work, Haymitch, just those few hours. I'll still be with them after work and over the weekends. I can't just sit at home with the twins. What about money? I need to support them and –

"I think you're forgetting the fact that I'm their father," he pointed out. "I – Effie, when the law's over … I won't just… I'll still…"

Haymitch clenched his jaws. He couldn't understand why it was so difficult for him to get the words out, to make Effie understand that they were his responsibility and he recognised that. He would never turn his back on them even without the law to bind him to them.

Effie nodded and patted his hand having clearly understood the words he couldn't say.

"I have an aunt I could possibly ask to look after the twins. You met her at the wedding, she's the one that … that…"

 _That was disgusted by the fact that you married a drunk,_  Haymitch completed the sentence Effie refused to say out loud.

"… Well, anyway, I don't think you'd like that," she finished.

"No, no, I wouldn't," he exhaled slowly, folding the papers and setting it back on vanity.

"You're okay with it then? Getting a nanny?"

Haymitch shrugged. He couldn't think of any other option at the moment. He supposed those nannies would have the necessary qualifications where children are concerned. Still, he made a mental note to ask Plutarch about it. That man is in the Government, surely he would know the background of the agency, the credibility of the organisation and most importantly, how the nannies were selected for the job.

"When will the next appeal be?" Effie asked out of the blue, as though merely thinking of Plutarch on his part was enough to summon the topic of the appeal.

"The six month is up next month so that's when we can submit the appeal. But there's still that second round of interviews through the districts to do, so I'm not sure if we would be able to appeal by then. The month after next would be a better estimate."

"Oh, one more thing, it kept slipping my mind with everything that's happened so far," she smiled. "It may be nothing, really. I could just be overthinking about things, you know me. But, on the day we left Four, I thought… I thought Elias didn't seem quite happy with you. Did something happen that I should know about?"

Haymitch only barely managed to swallow the chuckle. He remembered that particular moment Effie was referring to rather well despite the panic he felt with Effie in pain.

Elias wasn't pleased, not after the way Haymitch had walked into his room while Effie and Annie were distracted with the last minute packing in their room. Haymitch had told them that he was going to handle the paper work at the front desk while they pack to expedite their return but he had gone off to find that pompous git Effie had the misfortune to call a cousin.

Haymitch had informed him, rather harshly, that while Effie was still legally married to him, he and him alone would determine what was best for his children and for Effie after taking her opinion on the matter and that Elias had no say in it under any circumstances. Haymitch didn't just stop there and went on to tell Elias that even if Effie and himself were separated after the law, he was sure Effie would not appreciate her cousin poking his nose where it didn't belong.

Elias had gone beet red by the minute and just when he thought that poor man was going to explode, Haymitch straightened up and politely thanked him for his hospitality, for all the alcohol and liquor he had freely consumed during his stay. The unexpected gratitude for his hospitality seemed to throw him off guard. Haymitch smirked. Effie would be proud to know that all those lectures on manners were not in vain. He had used effectively on Elias, if he may say so himself. When he met Felix at the lobby and told him what he had done, Felix threw him a wide grin.

"I like you. Remind me to never get on your bad side," he had said before adding in a more serious tone, "Elias isn't going to let that go, though. Be careful."

Haymitch must have forgotten to answer her because Effie prompted him impatiently, seeking an answer to her question.

"I didn't notice," he shrugged. "It's probably nothing. I'll check on Prim – make sure she's still asleep."

XxX

During one of those days that she went on a cleaning spree, Effie moved his clutter of papers and interview tapes he left strewn on the kitchen island up to the study and told him to make full use of it instead of messing up  _her_  kitchen. He wasn't aware she had claimed ownership over the kitchen but rather than picked a fight, he merely snorted and trudged upstairs.

She would accompany him as he worked on the appeal and without really meaning to, they fell into a routine. Effie would curl on the lazy chair in the study, a hand resting lightly on her stomach as she read softly to the twins from a children's book Haymitch came across at the town's library. He found this arrangement extremely distracting. Haymitch would discreetly watch her from his place behind the desk, his long hair which framed his face like curtains did a good job of masking the hint of smile on his face at times.

When Effie started to teach them the letters from the alphabets, Haymitch began to seriously question her sanity.

"I did tell you they can hear us," Effie sighed exasperatedly. "I'm just starting them early. They'll grow up to be smart children."

He actually managed to get some work on the appeal done one afternoon without Effie's presence to distract him. She had simply poked her head in the study to inform him that she would be downstairs.

That night, motivated by the grumbling noise from his stomach and the smell of something delicious wafting from the kitchen, he finally emerged from the study with his silver flask clutched in his hand. He had not had anything to eat save for his liquor since breakfast and he only just realised how famished he was.

There was a spread of food waiting for him on the dining table, complete with a red candle on a gold stand, the flame slowly burning through its wick. A bottle of wine was sitting in a bucket of ice with an empty glass placed next to the plate and cutleries. Dinner had always been a simple affair between them unless they were at the Penthouse during the Games. It was fast becoming clear to Haymitch that he was missing something.

Cautiously, Haymitch approached Effie. She was sitting on one of the chairs, swirling a glass of sparkling juice and smiling daintily at him.

"What's going on? It's not your birthday, is it?"

She shook her head. "No, it's not. Come sit, let's have dinner," she beckoned him forward.

He poured himself a glass of wine, tipping his head back as he took a sip. Effie had prepared a fancy dinner and he was, at the moment, clueless as to the reason for this. It came as no surprise that he was itching to get something stronger from the kitchen. He'd need the drink if Effie was going to be upset in the event that he truly did forget something significant. Haymitch eyed the slab of meat on his plate warily. Effie was a terrible cook. She had improved over the past few months but he wasn't sure she had mastered the art of searing a good steak.

Nonetheless, Haymitch cut into his steak, chewing on it before he stopped suddenly.

"This steak taste familiar," he chewed slowly. "It tastes like… Did you buy a take away from Greasy Sae?"

Effie blushed and averted her gaze. "I did," she admitted. "You know that I can't really cook that well. I messed up the sauce and I didn't have the time to prepare everything from scratch. I overcooked the meat, too. I couldn't get it to cook to medium rare."

"So you walked to town to buy a meal?"

"I did, yes," she smiled.

"Let me understand this, you spent your day standing on your feet attempting to whip up a meal? And if that's not enough, you went out?" he was frowning and Effie stiffened at the tone in his voice. "You're supposed to be resting, not do things to make yourself exhausted as if you cleaning the closet or the kitchen weren't taxing enough."

"I'm not tired. I've been resting and it was just a short walk –"

"You could have asked me or Peeta," he interrupted. With a frustrated sigh, Haymitch went on, "you know damn well the risk your pregnancy entails. Do you even care, Effie? Do I need to remind you every damn day that your pregnancy is delicate? And you know what what's even more disturbing, sweetheart? I'm your husband but you don't even trust me enough to tell me what happened to you when you were captured. Do you know how useless that makes  _me_  feel because I can't help you! How am I supposed to make this pregnancy easier for you when I don't even know what those people did to you that could have that kind of consequences our children? And you're not helping much when you're actively trying to go against -"

"Stop!" she exclaimed, slamming her fork down on her plate. "Enough, Haymitch."

"I was just – "

"I said enough," her voice was firm. Effie pushed her chair back and stood up, glaring at Haymitch as she did so. "Just stop it. Don't make this about you! And don't make me feel like I owe you an explanation for something that happened to me, for something that I had to go through."

"Now, listen here, I never – "

"I didn't ask Peeta because I didn't want to trouble him," she raised her voice to drown his, "and I certainly didn't ask you because I wanted this to be a surprise! I was just trying to do something nice considering that today's… We were married on this day, a year ago. But, of course, you wouldn't remember that and it's fine, really, it is. I don't expect you to remember such a thing but all I wanted was to have a nice dinner with you without getting a lecture about how you think I'm an irresponsible human being. Clearly, I'm expecting too much."

 _Oh shit,_  he bit his tongue.

"You're suffocating me, Haymitch," her voice caught in her throat. "Dr. Bell says to rest. Rest is not synonym as bedridden, why can't you understand that? I can do things like walk to town to get something as long as I don't tire myself. I feel like you've put me under house arrest and I'm going insane." Effie took a ragged a breath as Haymitch walked around to where she was. He tentatively reached out for her but she was quick to pull away. "I'm not your prisoner."

"I don't think you're irresponsible," he said, quelling the hurt he felt at being compared to her captors.

"Oh, you do," she gave a shrill laugh. "You all but implied that I am. It's just … Forget it. We can never have something nice between us. We're too…"

"We're what?"

"We're two completely different people," said Effie in a single breath. "Just… finish your appeal, Haymitch, so that I can go back to the Capitol and we can live our lives away from each other."

XxX

There was a tense, heavy silence in the kitchen the next day. Effie pressed a cup of coffee into his hand without a word. He poured his liquor in it and handed her an empty plate for their pancakes without her having to ask for it. Their movements were steady and familiar. After years of working together and a year of staying under the same roof, they knew enough of each other's morning routine for them to work side by side flawlessly.

Haymitch grimaced at the taste of slightly burnt pancakes. He opened his mouth to make a remark but one glare from Effie silenced the words on his lips. A series of loud, purposeful knocking on the door jolted them both. They exchanged a look and waited for the familiar voice of Katniss or Peeta to announce their presence. When nothing was forthcoming, Haymitch frowned and arched a questioning eyebrow.

"I'm not expecting anyone. The furniture will be delivered next week and Felix never mentioned anything about dropping by," she told him. "Please go see who it is."

"If we ignore it, maybe, it'll just go away," his distaste for any social interaction was apparent that early in the morning.

She glared at him. Knowing that it aggravates her, Haymitch pushed his chair loudly and true enough, the sound of the chair scraping against the tiled floor made her wince.

"If you're some kind of salesman, then so help me I will – "

Two government officials dressed in their starched blue uniforms bearing the insignia of a flock of birds taking flight in the air stood at their front door.  _The Department of Social and Family Affairs,_ he eyed them distastefully and shut the door behind him quietly. One of them was clutching a black leather bound folder in her hand.

"Good morning, Mr. Abernathy," the man greeted him jovially.  _Formerly a Capitol citizen,_  Haymitch noted, watching the way the skin stretched tight across his mouth as he spoke, evidence of some kind of a former beauty surgery.

"Is it, though?" Haymitch answered.

He heard the door opened behind him and felt Effie's presence as she stood next to him. "Good morning to you, too," she replied, her manners still impeccably intact. "Would you like to come in? We're having breakfast and there are more than enough go around. There's coffee, too."

"No," Haymitch said quickly. "Just state what you want and be on your way."

"Haymitch!"

"It's quite alright, Mrs. Abernathy. We're here on official business. There is a facility in the City that is catered with the most advance medical equipment and doctors with wide range of expertise to deal with any pregnancy complications that might occur during or after the pregnancy. As you are aware, during your medical evaluation a few months ago, we are very concern about the infants born under this law and also, to the physical well-being of couples married under this same law. For the law to be successful, certain measures have to be put in place, I'm sure you understand?"

"Yes," Effie looked at Haymitch as she nodded her understanding. He had a scowl on his face and Effie had a feeling that the unexpected visit from these two officials could not be good.

The man nodded satisfactorily. "Having said that, we would like to take you in and house you in the facility to monitor your pregnancy until you have safely delivered your children."

Haymitch's reaction was immediate. "What?!"

"According to your medical records, the recent discovery of uterine fibroids is an added risk to an already risky – "

"Isn't that confidential medical information?" Haymitch demanded.

"No, sir, it is not. Well, not to the relevant department at least, and we are one of those departments. Now, in this facility, there will be doctors and nurses that will be on duty 24/7 in the event of an emergency. We don't extend this courtesy to those whose pregnancy is relatively normal, you see. You have done your part in this law by getting married and getting pregnant as mandated, so now, let us do our part by looking after you," the man gave what Haymitch thought was supposed to be a comforting, charming smile but it only made the blood in his vein boil.

"I don't understand – "

"She ain't going nowhere," Haymitch told him off tersely.

"Haymitch?"

His fingers curled into a fist at the sound of her voice, brittle and unsure, and he stepped forward in front of her, shielding her from their view when he felt Effie slipped her hand into his and gripped it tightly. She pressed herself to him, grounding herself and seeking his safety.

"Now, Mrs. Abernathy, if you would just consider the benefits of – "

"I said no. Leave my wife alone."

"Can Haymitch … Is my husband allowed to come with me?"

"Eff?"

He eyed her questioningly. Haymitch moved, turning his back partially to the two officials to face her. The way she was looking at him made his breath hitch. Her soft blue eyes glittered with a certain determination which he did not like.


	29. Chapter 29

His eyes were death, staring down at her, steely grey that spoke of everything and nothing at all. She saw the disapproval reflecting in it, waiting for her to say something that will contradict him. But beneath the anger, his eyes held some level of uncertainty at what she might do.

All she needed to do was to say yes, to agree to go to the Capitol City and stay in the facility with them. That was all she needed to do to get away from it all; from Haymitch and his overbearing ways. To show him that she is her own person and not his prisoner. A part of her wanted to do that, too, just to spite him after what happened the night before and if he wasn't allowed to come with her to the facility, the better it would be for her.

She would miss him, of course. But at the moment, she would rather be alone than have him breathing down her neck.

The rational part of her began to mentally list out the advantages of going with the officers; the part that thought only for the safety and well-being of her children instead of her own selfishness.

"Haymitch," she began, her eyes flickered from the two officers to his face. "They say there are doctors and nurses on duty around the clock. Perhaps, this wouldn't be such a terrible choice."

"That's right, Mrs. Abernathy," one of the officers nodded encouragingly. "It's a very comprehensive medical – "

Haymitch turned around, giving them both a dirty look. One of them shuffled nervously on his feet.

"Can we talk about this?" he turned back to Effie. "In private."

They took the hint and excused themselves but not before giving Effie the reassurance that she did not have to make her decisions now. They handed Effie a card and several pamphlets for her to look through before committing to anything.

"It's a medical facility," Haymitch said, once he had slammed the door in their faces. "It's no different than a hospital, which, in case you haven't notice, is also located in District Twelve."

"Yes, but this one is different. It's for people in the same situation as I am," she informed him, turning the card in her hand. "The doctors are well equipped to deal with medical emergencies rising out of a delicate, complicated pregnancy. You're the one who is worried out of your mind about my situation. Isn't this the reason why we're arguing in the first place? Wouldn't this be a neat little solution to your problem?"

"My problem?" he asked incredulously. " _Our_ problem, you mean? The last time I checked, it takes two to make a baby and I'm not blaming you for what happened to you in prison that could… That's not the point," he pivoted suddenly. "My problem is not you. My problem lies with the law. You and your pregnancy is just the side effect of it."

Effie, whose heart softened and whose anger ebbed away slightly when he said  _our problem,_  staggered back in surprise as surely as if he had physically hit her. It was just like him to say something endearing and ruin at the next moment with a flippant remark.

She gave a contemptuous laugh, one that made the hairs on his hands stand.

"A side effect," she repeated. "That's what you've reduced us to - an unwanted side effect that you have to deal with? God, Haymitch, you're really cold, aren't you? No wonder you've been alone all these while."

She tried to stop herself but the anger and the bitterness seemed to roll out of her like waves. Effie wanted to stop but there was a certain satisfaction in being able to force a reaction out of him; to watch his eyes narrow to slits, his hand curling into a fist.

Effie had no idea what came over her, maybe there's a masochist in her somewhere, looking for trouble when there was none, but she wanted him to look at her with something other than pity; to stop treating her like she's all tempered glass and splintered soul that will crumble at the slightest pressure. No, she'll like to think that after all she's been through she's tougher than that.

 _Like coals and peals_.

XxX

Haymitch bristled at her comment.

"I was alone," he hissed, "because the Capitol murdered my family."

"Haymitch, this conversation is getting old," she threw her hand up in frustration. "You're not the only person in this room who has lost their family to Snow or to the Games. I did, too. My sister took her own life; my own father gave her up. We've all gone through our fair share of tragedy and I am not going to trivialize it by comparing who has suffered worst. But I am not going to stand here and have you tell me that they," she laid her hand on her tummy, "are a side effect, a pesky consequences. They're more than that. They're miracles. If you want to hate me, if you think being married to me is a problem, that's fine – there's nothing I can do about that. But give them a chance, Haymitch, please. They're your children; they're  _your_  family now. You're not alone but if you go on like this, you will be."

Haymitch ran his fingers through his hair and stared at her. She looked back at him, defiant and stubborn, and he almost smiled at her for standing up to him like that.  _Brave Effie Trinket,_ he thought to himself only to remember that she is an Abernathy now.

"Go on like what?" he demanded. He shook his head, his shaggy hair flying about. "I… I know they're my children, Effie. I just – my parents and my brother was my family. That's all I have ever known and they've been dead for years, and I'm used to being alone. This is new, you understand? The idea… the fact that they're my family now," he nodded towards her stomach. "I just want them safe, want you safe."

"This is me trying to keep them safe," Effie lowered her voice, speaking gently to him. "By going there; to the Capitol."

He sucked in a breath and exhaled slowly. Haymitch was exhausted of constantly fighting with her, of never being able to see eye to eye on anything. Yes, he knew the kind of stubbornness Effie possessed and how they were with each other after years of working with her but that was during the Games. If he grew tired of her, Haymitch could simply just tune her out but this time, it's personal. It was closer to home and he couldn't just distance himself and shut her out, not when they were arguing about their children. He pulled out a chair and sank heavily into it.

"So you're going then?" his weary voice held no scorn, no anger, just resignation. "You're not even going to give me a chance to do my job."

He felt useless, a feeling that has been simmering in him since he found out about the risk of her pregnancy. He couldn't protect her during the Rebellion which resulted in sufferings and pain that she would not speak of, not even now. It left behind lingering consequences that was affecting her and by extension, the twins. Could he really blame her if she wanted to go to the Capitol and leave him behind since he couldn't protect her anyway?

"I don't know," Effie said quietly. "Truthfully, I don't like the sound of this place. I don't condone it. From the get go, it feels like a … I feel like I'm an experiment that has to be housed in a laboratory just so they could make sure that I turn out alright, that the babies they wanted so much will turn out alright."

"Breeding machine," he nodded, latching on to what she was trying to put into words.

"Exactly. These women… How many of them are there? They're people and they have  _feelings._ They're not just there to serve the Government's purpose, to be asked to get married, get pregnant and then to give birth. After all that, they're expected to have another child because the law mandated two children. This is wrong, Haymitch."

"So don't go," said Haymitch, watching her carefully.

"I don't want to give birth to them at the Capitol," she told him, looking down at her feet. "It doesn't feel right."

He wanted to tell her that if he were to succeed, she would most likely be raising them at the Capitol which meant that where they are born is inconsequential to him as long as they made it out to this world alive and healthy. Nonetheless, he understood what she meant. It didn't feel right to bring them into this world, at a place that took away lives upon lives of children, that took away his own childhood. She didn't have to return to the Capitol after they were separated, not necessarily. She could choose to raise them up anywhere she want and he would have little say over her life by that point of time. He didn't want to consider the possibility of her staying in Twelve. There are empty houses and plot of lands here that she could occupy but… No, he won't let his mind travel down that path but Effie seemed to like District Four. He wouldn't mind having his children raised in that district.

Instead of running his mouth, Haymitch kept quiet, letting a lone finger run over the smooth surface of his wedding band absentmindedly.

"The only reason I even considered it was because…," Effie continued. "I thought… Well, I thought that it'll give you some peace, make you stop worrying that much."

He snapped up to look at her with a frown. She was more than willing to stay in a medical facility whose principle she disagreed with  _for him?_  Effie had considered leaving for the Capitol even after he had ruined an important dinner, after their fight, after how he treated her as if he alone knew everything? He stared at her, swallowing and clenching his jaw. It wasn't the first time that her act of selflessness had taken him off guard. It was in such stark contrast to the first time he ever met years before.

"It won't," he told her, pushing himself off the chair and moved to stand in front of her. "It won't make me any less worry, I mean. Not when I can't see you, not when I'm here and you're there. I'm not putting you in their hands. I can damn well keep a look out for you myself."

She gave him a cautious smile and nodded.

"I'll stay. But, Haymitch," she said and he held his breath, waiting and watching. "Will you do me a favour? Please, in your next appeal, bring this facility up. I know they're trying to do the right thing but it's…. it's wrong. Oh, I don't know how you're going to address this issue because they  _are_ providing medical services. Will it be too confusing? Will it complicate the appeal?"

Haymitch shrugged.

"I understand where you're coming from. I'll see what can be done. This needs to be discussed with Plutarch."

XxX

"The hospital in Twelve here isn't so bad," he told her quietly. "It's far better than the one we had last time. Dr. Bell's efficient enough. I trust her and… well, I supposed, I trust you to do right by those kids."

"You're apologising," she breathed out in wonderment.

His eyes cut to hers. "I was just being difficult. Katniss used a certain word which I do not care to repeat if what you said is true and that the twins can hear me."

Effie covered her mouth and giggled quietly to herself. Her eyes twinkled with amusement and when he frowned, she only laughed harder. She scooted closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder.

"Apology accepted, I guess."

"You guess?" he chuckled, curling his finger on a strand of her hair.

"It didn't cost you an arm or a leg to admit that you trust me, do you?"

"Hmmm," he hummed, reaching over to take his liquor from the coffee table.

"Thank you," she twisted her body slightly to look at him, "for trusting me."

Her hand crept up to the collar of his shirt and tugged him forward, placing a kiss on the corner of his lips. She ran her finger down his chest, playing coyly with the button of his shirt.

He smirked down at her and attempted to kiss her lips but she pushed him away. "No, you don't get to do that."

"You're a minx, aren't you?" he murmured, slipping his hand under the slip of her neckline and resting it at the base of her throat. His thumb grazed her collarbone, back and forth, over and over again, lulling her into a state of comfort.

"I haven't forgiven you for ruining dinner yesterday. It was an important dinner for me."

"Oh?" he arched an eyebrow. "I know of a way to make it up to you."

"We all know what you want," she laughed at his attempt, swatting his hand away.

"I am required by law to have inter –"

"Not that again," Effie rolled her eyes having remembered their conversation at District Four. "But, of course, you're right. It's the proper thing to do, to make it up to me after your appalling behavior at dinner."

"Of course," he agreed and slipped his hand under her blouse, over the swell of her belly.

XxX

The next day dawned on them far too early for his liking. He shivered in the cold and cracked his eyes open, trying to discreetly tug the blanket Effie had draped over herself only to give up on it, letting her have it all.

Haymitch turned on his back and stared up at the patterns of the ceiling, refusing to get up before the sun even rose over District Twelve. He glanced at her sleeping form and briefly wondered if sleeping with her was a way to ruffle out any disagreements they might have because then he would need to file that information for future reference.

 _Ah,_  he mused, _that probably explain how some people could stay married to each other for so long if they have sex each time they fought. It wouldn't be so bad, I guess._

There seemed to be a mutual, unspoken agreement between them to never bring up the night of their anniversary again. They have certainly mastered the ability to put up a wall and blocked out their disagreement, sweep it under the rug and never unearth it again. He knew that it was not necessarily advisable, that things kept hidden under the lid could one day blow in their faces but Haymitch wasn't going to opt for the alternative of talking things out with her when they are perfectly fine right now. Talking things out was not his forte – it was tedious and it involved a lot of repressed emotions, something he was not inclined to partake in unless it was necessary, like stopping her from going to the City.

He was just about to fall back to sleep when a thought finally occurred to him. His mind finally processed the fact that he had been married to Effie for a year. He had been living with her, been sharing his bed with her and build a life around each other for a year.  _That's 365 days,_  he thought,  _that seems like a long time._

Time appeared to have slipped past his fingers like grains of sand and instead of the joy any married couples in a normal given circumstances would feel, he felt an increasing sense of pressure bearing down on his chest.

It was the law, it was always the law.

It has to be repealed soon. How long more was he supposed to stay married to Effie? How long more was she supposed to be tied down to this life  _with him_ , robbed of the freedom to lead a life of her own choosing, the way she dreamt it to be, the way everyone dreamt after Snow fell?

More importantly, it needed to be abolished soon because to give his children an illusion that they are together as a family was cruel. Yes, they are his children, that much he had accepted and they are a part of him but Effie and him were brought together through extenuating circumstances. He did not want the twins to grow up thinking that they would be together when they most likely will not. Better not to give them hope where there is none.

It was then that his thoughts took a turn for the worse.  _Klaus Adler_. He invaded Haymitch's mind and poisoned his thoughts. That man was more than willing to drop his percentage of the share in some lucrative business for a chance to have a life with his wife.

His mood darkened considerably. Adler had so much at stake – his business, his profit – and yet he would give it up for Effie and her children, the children she sired with another man, with Haymitch.

Haymitch hated Klaus Adler without ever having met the man because there was no contest here - Adler was the better man. Despite what Felix said of Haymitch, he was just selfish.

 _No,_  he shook his head to clear his thoughts.  _I'm giving Effie back her life. It would be selfish if I wanted to keep her to myself._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To clear things up, I wanted to show that Haymitch is still learning how to be in a marriage - the kinds of things he'll do that will get them arguing, the things he'll do that can get him out of trouble and the importance of communicating (or lack thereof). I also thought if the Government is desperate enough to repopulate a country, every pregnancy will be precious and if it's a complicated one, they would take steps to make sure that the baby is born healthy or something. It may sound strategical and cold, just like the law, and that's why Effie isn't happy about it. The whole chapter seems to revolved around their own needs and the other's need, whether any decisions they made are in their own self-interest or not. So i hope i get that across without it being too confusing.


	30. Chapter 30

Klaus Adler was fast becoming an obsession. Haymitch had a name but not a face to match and he poured over newspapers especially on articles concerning the rebuilding of Panem and the constructions involved in the hopes that Adler will be featured in one of those articles. Haymitch had no idea what he was doing but he felt like he needed to know the man who has been pining after his wife even before they were married.

His behaviour did not go unnoticed by Effie but she misunderstood the entire situation. The articles he was reading and those she was flipping through right now while Haymitch was distracted are all about acquisition of land and properties.

"Are we moving? We didn't discuss this!" she demanded. "Or are you planning on moving out of this house after the law? So the children and I could never find you! I never thought you'd have the nerve -"

"What?"

"What are these?"

"Those are none of your concern," Haymitch answered, waving his fingers on the papers strewn across the study table. "And I detest those accusations. I've already told you that I know my responsibilities to them."

"But why are you reading them? Are you buying a piece of land for… you know what? I don't even know what you would need with a stretch of land if you're really planning on buying it."

"I don't need it. I'm just reading about them. Did Paylor just passed a law the expressly prohibits me from reading a certain kind of news article?" he asked snidely.

"No…" Effie answered slowly. "It's just… These are the kind of things I expect Elias to be interested in, not you."

Haymitch said nothing except to pry a piece of paper out of her grasp and arrange it back with the others on the table. Giving her a side long glance, he asked casually, "speaking of Elias, do you know any of his partners?"

"That is an odd question."

"You don't then? And you say you're well connected at the Capitol," he pivoted, smirking at her.

Effie frowned. "I don't see what Elias or his partners has got to do with anything. Honestly, Haymitch, you're acting strange. Are you sure you're not ill?"

She pressed the back of her hand to his forehead, checking for his temperature.

"Go away, you bothersome woman. Go occupy yourself with choosing the twin's furniture or nursery or …. Just go and do something else."

XxX

The grass in the backyard needed to be mown, something Effie had been reminding him to do for the past three days, but it was not a task he would burden himself with; not when there are young men in the district looking for an extra source of income. He walked barefooted across the backyard feeling the blades of the grass tickling his skin and the earth beneath his feet. He smiled at the memory of him carrying a barefooted Effie the previous day and leaving her in the middle of the backyard. She had stood very still, frozen to the spot before she screamed helplessly for him to carry her back. So uncomfortable was she with the foreign feeling of grass around her ankles and the soil between her toes that she was unable to move a single step forward.

"It's dirty! Haymitch, there could be worms crawling up my feet!"

"Nah," he shook his head. "You're over reacting. Come on, walk towards the house. Won't kill you, sweetheart."

Effie shook her head.

"Ah, I can take the girl out of the Capitol but I can't take the Capitol out of you," he chuckled, watching her with amusement. "You and all that artificial grass…"

Her eyes narrowed but that was enough a motivation for her to prove him wrong.

She stood on her toes and very quickly, she tiptoed and ran to where he was. Well, as much of a run as a pregnant Effie could accomplish. When she was safely next to him, Effie swatted his arms in annoyance.

"Don't do that again!"

"Didn't kill you, did it?"

When she wasn't working herself to a frenzy worrying about something or the other, or when she wasn't bothering him with her compulsive need to organise and clean everything, Effie was bearable and her company was actually enjoyable. There are moments when she made him forget what it was like to be alone, made him forget how terrible and tragic his life was. She made his life better and each time he felt that way, he squashed it aside, too afraid that if he grew accustomed to thinking that way, the pain he would undoubtedly feel when the law fell apart would tear him to pieces. He had suffered through enough pain to last a life time. He did not need another.

Haymitch tore and tossed the bread distractedly to his geese. His mind was occupied with thoughts of Effie and the fact that he needed to get someone to cut down the grass before Effie gave up on him and mown the damn backyard herself.

"Haymitch," Effie appeared suddenly, looking terribly flustered. "We have visitors."

"Tell them I'm not in."

"I would if it was any other person but it's the President, and I am not sitting through this visit alone!" she hissed at him. "So if it ever crossed your mind to disappear now of all time, I will personally – "

"Paylor? You're saying Paylor is -"

"Do we have any other president in this country?"

Haymitch ignored her snarky remark, a trait she had most definitely picked up from him over the years except with Effie, she was only snarky when there was something bothering her like the unexpected presence of the current leader of Panem.

"Well, well, Plutarch did inform me that you rear geese in your backyard," Paylor's voice floated over to the pair of them. "I had to come and see it for myself."

Paylor smiled at them, walking towards where they were with her two guards bringing up the rear, both whom made a sweeping glance around the perimeter of the Abernathys' house for possible threats.

Haymitch's eyes narrowed a fraction as it flickered from the President to her entourage. He hung the pail of bucket containing the bread on a nail hook, wiped his hands on his pants while ignoring Effie's look of disapproval at how his laziness would leave stains on those pants and strode forward to shake the President's hand.

Paylor shook the proffered hand and peered around the pen to look at his geese.

"I doubt you're here to see my geese," his commented pleasantly though he was not fooling Effie who could hear the underlying tension coating his words. "You could have called I'd tell you the same, you know. This isn't a social visit, either, so it begs the question – why are you here?"

"Haymitch!" Effie said sternly, clearly affronted by how forward he was. "My apologies. I'm very sorry about the way he is behaving! He isn't… He's not a morning person. Surprise visits does not bode well either."

Haymitch nearly laughed at her snide remark and at the way Effie was informing the President of Panem that her visit was indeed a surprise neither of them quite appreciate.  _An advance warning would not have been remiss_ , he thought.

President Paylor merely bestowed them with another smile. She seemed to be smiling a lot that Haymitch was surprised her facial muscles were not aching. It must have been a habit from being the centre of the country's attention.

"It's not a problem, don't worry about it. I've been treated worse before. You look well, Mrs. Abernathy. How far along are you?"

"Just over seven months now," Effie replied. "Where are my manners? Please, do come in. Your ah… Your guards, too. Please come in, all of you."

Once inside, Effie excused herself to the kitchen to prepare refreshments for their guests which left Haymitch with the arduous task of making small talks with Paylor. He gestured for her to take a seat before settling himself across from her and as she looked around his house, taking everything in, he took the opportunity to study her.

"This is a nice home you have here," she commented. "Your wife's work, I supposed?"

Haymitch nodded curtly. He bit his tongue to stop himself from running his mouth and risk making a rude remark that might offend her. His thoughts went to the upcoming appeal. It would do no one any favours if he were to ruin their chances by getting on her bad side.

"You're here because…?"

"Pleasantries aside, then?" she asked.

Haymitch shrugged. "No point talking in circles. You're a busy woman. We might as well get straight to point of your visit."

"Very well, you are right, there's a reason I'm here. But before we get into the crux of the matter, I want you to keep in mind that we fought on the same side before this. I was your comrade. I was on the side of the Mockingjay before the country elected me as their president and being the president changes none of that. I was someone else before I was a president of this county and the role I played during the rebellion was not a role I would so easily forget. Although, yes, I do understand that my current position makes it difficult for you to see me as a friend."

Paylor nodded politely as Effie handed her a cup of tea. The look Effie gave him lingered a second too long and he knew she overheard what Paylor had just told him but took her place next to him wordlessly.

"Eileen," Haymitch began. The use of her given name was deliberate; to show her that he had not forgotten their roles in the Rebellion, that a part of him still acknowledged her as his comrade. "I do remember but even you wouldn't let that get in the way of running the country, now would you? That would be terribly unprofessional."

Effie was quick to rest her hand on his thigh, a silent warning for him to be careful with his words.

"No, I wouldn't," the President concurred. "But I am not your enemy."

"Oh dear heavens, no, of course, you're not our enemy. We've never thought of you as one! Enemy… that is a very strong word," Effie assured her hastily. "You're just doing your job. I can't imagine it being an easy task leading a country just barely recovering from a war. I don't envy you."

Paylor sipped her tea, watching them both over the rim of her cup.

"It is my duty and my obligation to this country that I serve it to the best of my ability," the President said. "This means that nothing escapes my desk. You've been visiting the Districts, Haymitch."

"We just came back from Four if that's what you mean," Haymitch informed her, neatly avoiding the real reason Paylor brought it up.

"Let me rephrase that – you've been visiting the districts with Peeta Mellark for reasons other than leisure."

"It's not exactly a secret operation," Haymitch answered, crossing his legs at the ankles and leaning back against the chair. "I did approach you several months ago imploring you to end the law. You rejected it."

"The Council rejected it," she was quick to correct him. "Within reasons, too. We need the law. I cannot stress this enough. Even I was not granted immunity from it. I never gave marriage or family much thought before but things have change and the way I think have to change with it. Things will continue to change for the better. We need to hold on to that believe that it will."

Haymitch made a guttural noise at the back of his throat. "You're blindsided. You want this law to work out so badly in your favour you're refusing to see the flaw in the system."

"We acknowledge the flaws in the system, Haymitch, and we're constantly trying to rectify it or come up with a solution for it. That medical facility in the Capitol is -"

"Abhorrent," he interrupted.

Paylor pretended not to hear him. "The Department of Social and Family Affairs have recently provided couple and family counselling for the benefit of the people."

"With all due respect, those services should already be in place with or without the law."

President Paylor fixed him with a steely glare and then she exhaled slowly, crossing her legs in front of her. "I'm not here to discuss that. The interviews you've conducted with those people in the districts … I want to know exactly what you plan to do with those clips."

"Ah," his lips quirked in satisfaction now that they have finally gotten to the reason as to why the President had decided to visit. Haymitch took a deep breath, leaning forward with his elbows resting on his knees. He clasped his hands together, his index fingers tracing his upper lips thoughtfully. "Eileen, I have the utmost respect for you and I appreciate you coming all the way to Twelve to personally ask me that question instead of sending one of your Council members. But this is a free country, now, yes?"

Paylor cocked her head to the side and narrowed her eyes at his question. His question held an element of truth and there was no escaping from it. The president nodded and only then did Haymitch continue.

"People deserve to have their voices heard and I don't think your administration will take too kindly to a mob of people gathering somewhere. So we opted for a less hostile way but a way for them to speak their minds nonetheless."

"As long as you're not instigating anything… We cannot afford for the country to rebel again. The financial losses will be astronomical and the loss of life will cripple the entire country"

"I am not but I cannot control what the people think. You're treading on very thin ice. Half of the population are already unhappy with the law and there are far too many social -"

"Haymitch, I've heard all these arguments before and no doubt, I will be hearing them again when the time comes for you to submit your next appeal," she interrupted. "If I'm treading on thin ice, then you are, too. Those interviews are dangerous. An idea is a powerful thing and you're planting ideas in their head. It may rub the wrong way, give them the wrong motivation and if they fight back, Haymitch, if there is a riot, I will personally hold  _you_  accountable."

Effie gasped and shot him a worried look. She had no idea what the president would do if that were to happen. Effie began to fidget in her seat, restless and troubled. Those interviews were her idea. She brought it up to Haymitch who orchestrated it with the help of Plutarch and Peeta. If anyone was responsible for instigating anything, it would be her.

Haymitch said nothing about her involvement. The look he gave her warned her to keep her mouth shut but Effie needed to get a word in. She could not let Haymitch take the blame.

"President Paylor -" Effie started but stopped abruptly when the President held up her hand to silence her.

"I understand why Haymitch is doing what he does," she said. "I'm speaking to you now, Haymitch, as your friend. I am asking you to stop before the situation gets out of control. I understand that there are several more districts for you to visit. Don't. Drop it. The Council will not tolerate another unrest. Panem is still recuperating from the previous war. I know that you're not trying to overthrow my Government and every citizen in this country has a right to a freedom of assembly but if this leads to a riot that involves the destruction of property, loss of lives or any form of violence, the Council will go for you first. I implore you to tread carefully. To think of your wife and unborn children; of what would happen to them if you're … not here," she finished, letting the warning and threat hang in the air. "Think of the Mellark family while you're at it because they will not let slide Peeta's involvement, either."

Haymitch could feel Effie's nail digging into his thigh. He could tell how tense she was. He rested his hand on top of hers reassuringly, trying to convey to her that there was nothing for her to worry about.

Haymitch was still staring at the President, his mind actively trying to process what she just informed him when she stood up suddenly and smoothened out the creases on her suit. President Paylor nodded at them and then towards her guards, informing them that she had concluded the business and is ready to leave.

"I hope I've made myself perfectly clear," she said.

Effie stood up and wrung her hands together. She looked at President Paylor with her emotions written plain across her face for the president to read. If Paylor had hoped to instil some fear from her visit, she had succeeded in scaring Effie.

"I understand perfectly. I'll … I'll talk to him. There won't be any trouble. Please don't… Tell the Council that Haymitch won't – "

"Effie," he cut her off. "I've forgotten to switch off the heater in the bathroom. Would you check on that, make sure it doesn't overheat."

Effie knew a dismissal when she heard one. He knew that she did not approve of him sending her away in such a brusque manner but he would deal with her later.

Haymitch walked the president out to the front door. "Thanks for the warning," he muttered out of the corner of his mouth. "There won't be any more interviews."

_I don't need anymore, anyway._

"But going after me? Holding me accountable?" he went on.

"Who would I go after then? There's always something or someone setting things off."

"Fair enough."

Haymitch wasn't angry with Paylor. She was doing him a favour coming out to Twelve just to lay it out to him what her Government would do if things spiral out of control. Haymitch understood her position. Paylor was worried about a civil unrest and it was not baseless. Being the president came with an insurmountable amount of responsibilities and a civil unrest would complicate an already dire situation.

There was one thing Haymitch realised she never brought up. Paylor never once implied that he should at any point drop his appeal. She only wanted him to stop talking to people in the other districts.

At the door, she turned and smirked at him. "Between you and me, there are merits to your arguments and let's just say that I enjoy this debate between you and Plutarch. Too much, I must say that I am actually looking forward to the time of the appeal. But, I find it necessary to remind you that the Council pass the decisions, not me alone."

"Yeah, I didn't forget that," he answered, leaning against the door frame. "Well, I guess I'll be seeing you soon, then."

Haymitch raised his hand in farewell but dropped it when Paylor walked back to where he was standing. She stood on the steps on his front porch, her guards waiting just out of ear shot. Paylor must have asked them for privacy.

"This information is classified but as your friend, I think you should be made aware that a certain Elias Lewis brought the Council's attention of your visits to the various districts with Peeta," she told him.

His eyes widened in surprise. Haymitch was not expecting that piece of information.

"It was through his formal complaint – citing reasons that you had no legitimate authority to be conducting any kind of interviews – that the Council launched an investigation into your case. Yes, there was an investigation involving you but," she smiled, "I am the president and it has its merits. I managed to persuade the Council not to investigate any further until I have spoken to you. I hope you understand the gravity of the situation you're in. If you insist on continuing with those interviews, I will not have the power to stop them from moving forward with the investigation. If the Council believe you are a threat to the security of this country, they will not hesitate to stop you."

His mouth had run dry and images of him being in a prison cell invaded his mind. He shuddered at the thought of having the twins visiting him in prison. That was not the way he wanted to be remembered as their father.

Haymitch blinked and focused his attention back to the president. Paylor wanted his trust and in return, she gave him the name of the person who had thrown a noose around his neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I googled and wiki-ed but President Paylor did not have a first name. So I gave her one. It's not in Mockingjay either, is it? I haven't read that book for awhile but if it's mentioned in it, please tell me and I'll change her name.


	31. Chapter 31

He should have known something like this would happen. He should have anticipated it but he hadn't and now Elias had got one over him.  _That sneaky bastard._

Haymitch was fuming. He wondered to himself as he closed the door after Paylor left how Elias even knew about those interviews. He doubted that man bothered to concern himself with the affairs of the districts unless it had anything to do with his business which in the case of the interviews, did not.

 _Effie,_  he came to the conclusion because, really, who else could it be.

Effie would never think that there was anything wrong with sharing that kind of information with her cousin. After all, what he was doing was hardly a secret. Except, that son of a bitch had twisted everything and tried to throw him into the frying pan.

Grabbing the phone off its hook, he dialled Felix's number, a number he had surprisingly memorized.

"Your brother," he hissed before Felix could even say hello, "filed a complaint to the Council about me.  _To the fucking Council!_ Do you even understand what that would do to me?! _"_

"Well…I did warn you he'd go after you especially after what you did to him. And to answer your question, I'm assuming jail time?"

Haymitch growled in frustration. If there was one thing he did not like, it was 'I told you so'.

"Listen, Felix, get that damn man off my case."

"There's only one way to get him off your back, Haymitch. You and I both know that you're never going to agree to it."

His rested his forehead on the wall, breathing deeply to calm himself.

"I  _cannot_  give her to Adler!" he said through gritted teeth, mindful not to raise his voice in case Effie was nearby and overhead the conversation. "Effie's not a thing, Felix. She's not a chattel. She's my wife. If and when the law's over, and Effie decides to go off with that man, then there is nothing I can do. I can't stop her but it's up to her. It's her choice. I can't make her do things! I cannot force her to accept him. Is your brother insane? I'd rather go to jail then hand her over like some goods. And what the fuck is he thinking? I thought he wanted me to end the damn law!"

Felix's voice was calm and composed when he spoke next. Haymitch had spiralled into an angry rant, although Felix always thought him to have a better control over his emotions but seeing as how his life along with his wife's future was in question, Felix let it slide. It was up to him to keep a level head. "My brother is very cunning. If you stop feeling angry and start thinking logically, you can see what he is trying to do. Come now, you handsome devil, you're smarter than this."

"Don't call me that," Haymitch snapped. He pushed himself off the wall and started pacing, pulling the telephone cord as he went along. It didn't take him long to fully comprehend and understand Elias' motivation. "Fuck."

"You, sir, are a particularly vulgar man!" Felix commented, his Capitol accent so thick with disapproval. "I don't think for a second Effie would allow such language in the house."

"Felix! Would you just shut up!" he bellowed. Haymitch pinched the bridge of his nose. "Why? Even if I'm out of his way, even if I'm in prison, Effie would still be married to me. He can't just cart her off to Adler. As if she would agree in the first place."

"I'm not quite sure if it would work precisely but I think the spouse is allowed to file for a divorce if the other is convicted of a crime. I think that was what he was aiming for. Oh, that's an idea, Haymitch," Felix began to chuckle finding amusement where Haymitch did not. "If you find being married so bothersome, you could land yourself in jail and Effie could file a divorce. But don't go doing it. Think of the children and we wouldn't want you to set an example for the rest of Panem now, would we? The prison will be fully occupied!"

"This isn't the time to joke," Haymitch snarled.

Felix sighed over the phone. "He wants to get you out of the picture. It'll be easier for Adler if you're not around. You know, to charm Effie? I think Elias was hoping that with her husband in prison and her being pregnant, she would be emotionally vulnerable to Adler's charm. But, I know Adler and I don't think he would do that at all."

"Don't underestimate a man," Haymitch muttered. "Especially if he is desperate enough."

Haymitch could hear Felix breathing over the phone, thinking of what to say. "You did confront Elias just before you and Effie left District Four. I already told you he won't let that go. This is just him being … well, him."

"Keep an eye out on your brother for me," he growled. "I know what to do."

"You are aware that I do not even live anywhere near my – "

"Dammit, Felix, you have one job. Keep him away from me and my family."

XxX

In the study, unbeknownst to Haymitch, the phone extension clicked as Effie hung up a few seconds after he slammed the phone in the living room.

Effie exhaled loudly. It had become almost a habit by now for her to rest her hand protectively over her belly whenever something distressing occurred. Her mind was spinning and Effie lowered herself gingerly over the chair Haymitch always occupied.

_What does it all mean?_

XxX

Haymitch was on the phone again the next day. He was on the phone a lot for someone who hated talking on that contraption. He raised his eyes to meet Effie as she walked in from the kitchen with a bowl of fruit for her midday snack. Once she had settled down on the sofa comfortably with the television on, Haymitch pulled the cord and leaned against the wall of the entryway, away from Effie.

She pretended not to mind, to act normal.

"We have a problem," Haymitch began. His dark tone snapped Plutarch's attention almost immediately.

"Do we?" Plutarch enquired.

"Paylor dropped in unannounced yesterday. If you have an inkling of this and you didn't tell me, I swear Plutarch I will skin you. I could use with some advance warning."

"Was that threat really necessary?" Plutarch chuckled. "I was not aware. What makes you think that I do? I'm not  _her_ personal assistant. I wouldn't know her schedule. What did she want?"

Haymitch snorted and when he was finally convinced that Plutarch really did not know, he recounted the events, every single detail including Elias' involvement. Plutarch was in on this with him and without him, Haymitch could never have gone against the Council in the first place. He thought it was unfair to keep such information from him.

 _Except you thought otherwise when it came to Effie,_  a little voice nagged at him.  _You didn't tell her everything._

"That's that, I supposed. It worked then," Plutarch said, sounding far too cheerful for Haymitch's liking. "Effie's idea – it worked. We were never going to broadcast the footage of those interviews, anyway. We meant to threaten her with it and since she felt threatened now, that is all that matters. I suggest we focus on the appeal. What do you say?"

"Yeah, forget the interviews. We don't need any more clips than the ones we already have. In the event that we need them for any reason, we'll just use what we got."

"Very well," Plutarch agreed. "And did you say Elias Lewis?"

"Yes."

"Isn't that man your cousin-in-law? He's Effie's cousin after all."

"I'm aware of his relationship to Effie," he snapped. "I'm clearly not his favourite person."

"If Lewis is onto you, you must have done something to cross him. What did you do?"

"What makes you think I did anything?"

Plutarch sighed.

"Fine, keep your secret but don't let it jeopardized what we have to do."

"Effie's cousin is a minor problem – he is nothing. We shouldn't waste our time worrying about him," he said. But there was someone Haymitch was worried about and it was eating him inside. "Listen, Plutarch, what do you know of Klaus Adler?"

"Klaus?" Plutarch asked in surprised, clearly not expecting that question.

"Oh, so you're on a first name basis with Adler but not my wife's cousin. Interesting," he drawled. "Who is this man?"

"Where ever did you heard of him?" Plutarch questioned. Haymitch growled in frustration. He really hated it when someone answered his question with another question. "Alright, alright, calm down. He owns several businesses. The Rebellion has been good for him – I heard he expanded his business to the districts. He just took over a construction company."

"How influential is he?"

"Not as influential as I am," Plutarch boasted.

"You sure? Your influence has not managed to overturn this law," Haymitch pointed out. "I heard this man has enough influence to make sure the law can be stopped."

"Not influence," Plutarch corrected, "he has enough finances to back you up. Why though? Are you considering bringing him on board?"

"No," Haymitch answered. "If we need finances, we can work it out. I can talk to Effie about it. I'm not that desperate to ask for his help. Does… to your knowledge…. is he and Effie… are they friends?"

Plutarch started laughing on the phone. "That's a question you should ask your wife, Haymitch, not me."

"If I could ask her, I would have and I wouldn't be wasting my breath asking you," Haymitch retorted, hanging the phone up in frustration.

XxX

If he had done one thing right in their marriage, Haymitch would like to think that the twin's nursery was it.

Effie had been giddy with excitement when the furniture was delivered. Haymitch was not pleased at all because he found out that he had to assemble the furniture himself. The delivery men had already left their premises when he found stacks of items wrapped in cardboard lying around the nursery. When he had questioned Effie, she claimed that the fee to have someone assemble the furniture for them was exorbitant and she was not willing to part with the money.

"When have you ever been this frugal?" he demanded, recalling those times when she spent freely at the town centre on items they clearly did not need.

"Well, we're going to have  _two_  babies," she said tightly. "I don't know if you've noticed that fact and I'm only thinking ahead. Education is not cheap, Haymitch."

It was not something Haymitch wanted to relive ever again and from that day on, he swore that the next time Effie chose any furniture in the house, he would play an active part in it if only to prevent her from not including assembly as part of the package.

The entire process had not gone smoothly. Nothing in their lives ever did. Their tempers flared, barbed words were exchanged and accusations were made.

"You are unbearable!" he shouted, throwing his hand up in the air in annoyance.

"I'm unbearable? If only you'd listen! I told you that screw is for their crib and not the chest drawer. It says right here, Haymitch Abernathy!" she said, shoving the manual under his nose and jabbing her finger furiously on a picture of a crib. "Look at all this mess, Haymitch. You need to be more organized! That plank is for the wardrobe, am I right? It shouldn't be mixed with those for the crib."

"Oh, for heaven's sake, you can't even read a damn map properly. Don't tell me how to fix the crib. I know what to do! Get out," he ordered.

"You've been trying to fix that for 45 minutes. Clearly you don't know what you're doing," she countered.

"No," he shook his head, rounding up on the irate woman. "I know exactly what I'm doing but I can't do it properly when you're reshuffling everything that I've set out. I've put that wood over there because that's for the wardrobe but you've moved it here," he gestured, "and you're making things fucking difficult for me. And need I remind you, that this wouldn't be a problem if you had only paid them to assemble all of these for us!"

"Oh what even is the point of bringing that up?" she muttered. "It's done. I didn't pay for it and now we have to do it. And watch your language!"

"I'll do it. You get out."

"I will not!" she stomped her foot stubbornly.

Effie lowered herself on the wicker chair that Haymitch had temporarily placed in the nursery from the front porch in case Effie grew tired. She gave him a stony glare, not that he noticed since he had his back turned towards her and was trying to figure out where to fix the bearings for the door.

Haymitch ignored her for the most part and it was only after he had gotten the door for the wardrobe to function like a door should when he noticed the silence. He turned around - a pencil stuck in his mouth from where he had made a mark on the wall for a frame - and saw a sight that made his lips quirked upwards in amusement. Effie sat slumped on the chair, her head lolling to the sides with her mouth opened slightly. He walked towards her and gently pried the manual out of her hand, tucking a wisp of her hair behind her ear.

"Hey, peanuts," he spoke quietly. "One day she'd tell you how she and I fixed your nursery but don't let her fool you. Your mother is nothing but a nuisance but that doesn't mean she don't mean well."

Realising what he was doing and feeling exceedingly foolish, Haymitch snapped his mouth shut and turned around, perusing the manual in his hands. He worked much faster on his own, fixing things where it should be fixed without Effie bossing and telling him what to do. She was aggravating.

His back was aching when he was finally done. He stood and arched his back, relieving the taut muscles, pleased with the work that he had accomplished.

"Effs," he called out quietly, stretching his hand to trail a finger down the back of her neck where he knew she was ticklish. Effie jerked and opened her eyes in alarm before slapping the offending hand away.

"There are nicer ways to wake – Oh!" she exclaimed, holding on to his biceps as leverage to pull herself up to her feet. "You've completed everything! You've even arranged them just the way I envisioned it. It's perfect. It's beautiful."

"You've only repeated it ten times where everything should be," he muttered. Slightly loudly, he said, "I completed everything while you embraced your inner sloth and slept the time away."

Effie threw him a dirty look but she was too distracted by the completed nursery to really give him grieve over what he said.

Haymitch kept his tools quietly, thinking of the bottle of vodka waiting for him down in the cellar. Effie would be too preoccupied with the room to mind him, he was sure.

"You didn't want my help in the first place," she replied.

She walked around, inspecting everything with a smile on her face. Her hand trailed languidly over the cribs. He was nearly out the door when Effie pointed to the blue picture frame with white big, bold lettering – 'Chin up, Buttercup' – she had purchased and had asked him to hang.

"It's not perfect. It's tilted slightly to the left. Can't you see it?"

He was lucky that he had his back facing her because his face scrunched up in displeasure. With a roll of his eyes, he took a deep breath and marched towards the picture frame which he had not wanted to have up in their nursery in the first place.  _Buttercup,_ he snorted.  _If she's having sons, they will not be buttercups._

"Stand there, don't move," he instructed, reaching up to adjust the frame. "Is it okay now?"

"No, Haymitch, you've made it worse!"

"Now?"

"Haymitch! No. Are you making it worse on purpose?"

"Tell me if I should move it more to the right or the left, you daft woman! Stop complaining and give me some valuable feedback for once."

Her hands flew to her hips as she frowned.

"To the right," she instructed. "More. Push it upwards. No, Haymitch, too much!"

He growled loudly, not even bothering to hide how frustrated he was. Effie must be annoyed too because he found her suddenly wedged in between him and the wall, stretching as far as she could to adjust the frame. Standing on tiptoes and using her fingertips, she pushed the frame inch by inch, standing back every few second to check on her own progress. His heart had pounded in his chest seeing her standing precariously on her toes given how heavily pregnant she was that he had moved closer to her instinctively, resting both his hands on her waist to steady her and provide her with some sort of support. His eyes were fixed on the frame as he watched her work, the annoyance still clear on his features.

When she was satisfied, she turned around in his arms. "Oh, wipe that scowl off your face, Haymitch," she laughed, pecking him on his lips.

The fingers on her waist curled in response, digging softly into her skin. Effie broke off the kiss but he was having none of that. He had nearly broken his back fixing and arranging the furniture. He deserved so much more than a mere chaste kiss.

Eagerly, he leaned down and captured her lips with his, backing her slowly against the wall. She gripped the collar of his shirt and he could feel her smiling against his lips. Haymitch pressed himself closer and stopped when he felt her belly against his. He wondered if the twins would kick him if they only knew what he was doing to their mother.

Haymitch broke the kiss and peppered a trail of kisses on her neck. Her hand came up to tangle itself in his hair, her face flushed and lips bruised. When his hand travelled up from her waist to palm one of her breast, he felt her fingertips skimming the skin under his shirt.

"Bedroom," she whispered. "We shouldn't… not here. They're going to sleep here."

XxX

His body thrummed with excitement when he lowered her on the edge of the bed, telling her to stay where she was as he hoisted her legs over his shoulder. Effie lifted her head up in puzzlement, trying to see what he was about to do but she could hardly see over the swell of her belly.

Haymitch kneeled on the floor. He had never done this with her before but given her circumstances, he had to get creative. Rather impatiently, he pushed her dress up to her hips, kissing her inner thigh as he did so.

"Haymitch," she whimpered. She buried her fingers on his hair, tugging him forward while trying to show him exactly where she would like to be kissed.

He kissed her through the wet, silky material separating him from his goal before pulling it down and flinging it carelessly on their bedroom floor. The moment his tongue darted out to taste her for the first time, Effie inhaled sharply.

"No," she moaned.

"No?" he smirked. "Do I stop?"

"N – No… Don't stop… Please… Oh, god what are you –"

Effie broke off abruptly, hands flying to her side to grip the bed sheet, panting loudly. Haymitch pressed his hands on her knees, gently and without much force, to keep them apart. The pregnancy had made her so sensitive that it didn't take long for Haymitch to work her to the edge and when he knew she was close he sucked her clit, long and hard, and watched her unravelled before his eyes with a smirk stretched across his face.

"That was..." she breathed. "Well, I never …"

Haymitch laughed and climbed into bed, pulling her up to him.

"You're lost for words," he observed. "I must have done something right."

Effie smiled and rested her head on his shoulder, tired and worn out. "Maybe… maybe we can do that again sometime?" she asked meekly.


	32. Chapter 32

There wasn't a knock or any warning whatsoever before the bathroom door swung open. He heard her heavy footsteps shuffling across the room before he saw her. Pushing his hair out of his face, he watched as Effie bunched the edges of her skirt up in her hand, pulling it up and moving right past him as if he wasn't there.

"Um… I am showering," he told from where he stood behind the shower screen.

"Yes, I noticed," Effie answered, lifting the lid off the toilet. "It's not like I haven't seen you naked, Haymitch, honestly. There is no need to act like a scarlet virgin. You've impregnated me after all."

His face scrunched and he blanched. "Wait your turn or use the guest bath – what are you doing?!"

For a few seconds, all he could do was stare at her before he reacted. Wiping the mist off the shower screen in order to get a better view, the look of horror crossed his face once he realised what Effie was about to do. He spun around, abruptly turning his back to her in an attempt to afford her some semblance of privacy. It disturbed him immensely to note that she was not at all concern about him being there, seeing all of these, especially if he took into account the kind uptight woman that she was. Pregnancy couldn't change her that much, surely?

They were separated by the shower screen but this was not okay. It was not alright at all. He was merely a few short distance away from her. It made no sense how she could simply barged in and… and… Haymitch took a deep breath, still refusing to turn around until she told him that she was done.

"There are certain aspects of a woman that a man doesn't need to know," he informed her. "It will ruin the image he has of a woman, which I must say, you are doing a good job of right now. I can't unseen what I've just – "

"Haymitch," she gave him a warning look when he turned around to face her. "They are pressing on my bladder and let me tell you something, dear husband, it is actually one of the most uncomfortable feelings – having something pressing on your bladder. If you're in my position, you would have done the same."

"I would not."

He grabbed a bottle of shampoo and began to lather his hair with it just to distract himself.

"Besides, we're married," Effie continued, as if she had not just made him feel uncomfortable with her intrusion. "It's not like I haven't seen those unpleasant side of you – they are plenty and in abundance, so don't argue with me Haymitch Abernathy."

He glowered at her. "Like what?"

Effie looked at him pointedly, a look that asked if he really wanted her to say it out and bared it all. Haymitch raised an eyebrow in challenge as he let the water run over his back.

"Let's start with gas, shall we?"

There was a pregnant pause before his retort came back. "That's unavoidable. It's natural."

"Of course,  _that's_ natural but there's nothing natural about having to use the toilet," she rolled her eyes and washed her hands. "How about me seeing you vomit countless times? You'd think that would put me off."

"Only it didn't, not if yesterday was anything to go by," he smirked.

He heard her sigh but from her reflection on the mirror, he could see the small smile on her face. "I'm due for my 30 weeks appointment tomorrow."

Effie leaned against the sink and continued speaking to him even though he was still showering.

_Does it not bother her that we are having a discussion in the bathroom?_

"Already?" he poked his head out, gesturing for her to hand over the towel.

"Yes," she nodded. "They'll be here soon and we still haven't decided on any names! Have you given it any thought at all?"

"Oh, yes, every day," he answered quickly. "That's progress, right?"

"It is if you're not actually lying through your teeth."

Haymitch bit his tongue conveniently ignoring her accusation. He walked out of the bathroom hoping to put the conversation behind him. He hadn't thought of names at all, not since the last time they discussed it while they were in Four, and he had actually forgotten all about it until Effie brought it up again today.

Haymitch was sure they would have no problem whatsoever with the naming process. How difficult was it to name a child, anyway?

John, August, Harold, Williams.

Mary, Aria, Susan, Christina.

He would just pick one when the time comes. It shouldn't be too difficult except, of course, what was it that Effie had said?

_Nomen est omen._

XxX

Things were tense between the pair, an occurrence that no longer fazed Haymitch. They managed to put it aside momentarily while in Dr. Bell's room, choosing to focus on the appointment instead.

"But a normal delivery is still within the realm of possibility, isn't it?"

"Of course," Dr. Bell nodded. "But in most cases, the position of the baby during labour determines a lot the type of delivery you would have."

"What about her uterine fibroids?" Haymitch interjected. "You told us once that fibroids could affect normal delivery."

"I did, indeed, but that is in cases where the fibroids are near or blocking the cervical opening. This isn't the case with Effie."

Haymitch nodded, satisfied with Dr. Bell's assurance. Effie turned to him briefly before facing to talk with the doctor once more.

"I really don't want a surgery," she said. "I want a normal birth."

"I don't think you have much to say on that matter, sweetheart," Haymitch said. "Weren't you listening? It's all very dependent on their positions later on."

"That's true," Dr. Bell agreed. "It's not recommended to have normal delivery if they're in a transverse position or breech. I would assess the situation and advise you accordingly."

"I don't think we should be making any decisions," Haymitch said, helping Effie off the examination table. "But she wants normal, maybe you could just put it down in your notes somewhere. For future reference," Haymitch added hastily when Effie shot him a look.

XxX

Effie was resolutely not looking at him as they walked out of the hospital after the appointment.

"Back to being annoyed with me, then?" he asked casually.

"Yes."

"Okay," he shrugged, walking quietly next to her. He bit into the apple he bought from the hospital cafeteria earlier, not at all concern about Effie's general state of unhappiness with him.

His indifference was aggravating her. Haymitch knew that. It was entertaining to see her trying to maintain her composure until they were at home where she could unleash her irritation. Effie would never lose her temper at him in public, not wanting to make a scene and embarrass them both, and Haymitch basked in that knowledge.

Her nostrils flared in annoyance. Haymitch moved slightly to the left, taking a step away from her. If she was a dragon from one of those tales she had been reading to the twins at night, Haymitch was sure she would have breathed fire.

Nonchalantly, Haymitch offered her a bite from his apple still waiting for a reprimand or a lecture from her.

"I already told you the night before," she swivelled to face him, lips pursed into a thin line.

 _There it is,_  he smirked. Haymitch continued chewing on his apple, eyeing her with an amused expression.

"You knew the appointment was slotted for 10 am today and you  _overslept_ ," she hissed, swatting his arm pathetically.

A few passers-by stopped, glancing in their direction briefly before hurrying along as if they hadn't seen anything interesting at all. Haymitch understood their reaction. To them, this was just another couple spat, nothing nobody hadn't seen before. Haymitch and Effie were barely even fighting. He had seen far worse; husband and wife shouting at each other in public, hanging their dirty laundry for everyone to see. Usually they were married under the law and their disagreement suddenly made so much sense to Haymitch.

"You should have woken me up," he replied.

"I should have…the nerve of you! Why couldn't you take the initiative to wake up on your own! You're incorrigible, Haymitch. We're lucky we arrived on time! We could have been late and what would Dr. Bell think? That I have no respect for her time is what she would think. But that is just not true! The next – "

"Here, have you tasted this? Dried mangoes," he shoved the piece of dried fruit he just fished out from the pack into her mouth to stop her tirade. Effie wasn't shouting but that did not mean he wanted to hear what she had to say. "Not bad, don't you think? I'm gonna buy more of this. Store it at home."

"Don't try to change the subject, Haymitch," she swallowed. "I am trying to – "

"Mr. Abernathy! Mr. Abernathy!"

Haymitch straightened up at the sound of his name just as Effie staggered backwards in surprise, her hand reaching out to hold on to his arm. A young bespectacled woman barrelled towards them.

"Are you alright?" he asked Effie quietly.

She nodded and released her hold on him but stood close to Haymitch.

The young woman gripped his arms desperately, nails digging into his skin.

"You are manhandling me, Emily," Haymitch replied tersely. "And you nearly knocked a pregnant woman over. You better have a good reason for all this."

"It's okay, Haymitch. I'm alright," Effie told the girl when she noticed the extremely distressed look on her face.

"Please," Emily pleaded, her eyes brimming with tears. "You have to help me, please!"

Haymitch and Effie exchanged a look. It was not every day that someone ran up to him pleading for his help, especially not a young woman with tears in her eyes, tense and worried out of her mind from the looks of it.

"Slow down, Emily. What happened?" Haymitch asked the librarian. "Did a fire breakout at the library?"

It had to be the library. What could possibly send Emily into a fit of panic? Searching his memory, Haymitch couldn't recall ever seeing her outside of the library before. He had told her often enough that she took her job as a librarian far too seriously and that she should try to see the sun sometimes.

"This is coming from an alcoholic who stayed home all day unless he had to get more supplies," she retorted once before biting her tongue in horror when she realised what she just said.

Her eyes darted from Haymitch to Effie. The tears had finally spilled.

"You said you were going to stop it!" she cried, taking of her spectacles as she wiped the tears falling hot and fast with the back of her hands. "You said… You… the law…"

"Emily… Emily, darling," Effie stepped in when she saw the stupefied, confused expression on Haymitch's face. Knowing that Haymitch was not equipped to deal with crying woman, Effie gently took Emily by the elbow away from Haymitch. Silently, she pressed the packet of tissues she always carried around into the girl's hand. "Don't cry. Wipe your tears. Whatever it is that is upsetting you, we can talk it out, alright? Why don't we go over to Victor's Village? Will that be amenable? I'll make you some tea and you can tell us what happened, is that okay?"

Her voice was soothing and Haymitch could see Emily calming down slightly, nodding at Effie's questions. Haymitch was immensely glad that Effie was there. Had he been on his own, Haymitch would not have known how to deal with the situation at all. Effie had led Emily away, still holding on to the girl's hand as if she was afraid that Emily might break apart at any second. Effie turned then, looking to see if he was following. He nodded and hurried along, not at all eager to be heading home now.

He didn't want to have to deal with an emotional teenager. He had enough of that to last a lifetime. But something nagged at him. He doubted this was a normal teenage problem. Emily had mentioned the law. He had heard her said it in between her sobbing.


	33. Chapter 33

 

** Chapter Thirty-Two **

The walk home with Emily clutching onto Effie's arm felt extremely long. When she had settled Emily down into their living room, Effie walked into the kitchen with Haymitch trailing closely behind. She turned to look at him and Haymitch shrugged.

"What do you want me to do?" he asked defensively. Peering into the living room, he could see Emily working through the box of tissues on their coffee table.

"Go outside and talk to her," Effie said, extracting a tea bag from its packaging.

"She's  _crying._  You're better at this.  _You_  talk to her."

"Honestly, Haymitch, she wanted to see you! Didn't you hear what she said? Something about the law."

"It's very …," he pursed his lips and looked up, searching for an appropriate word as if the ceiling might give him wisdom.

With a sigh, Effie arranged the cup and saucer carefully before nudging Haymitch on his sides to catch his attention. He walked with her out into the living room to face whatever it was that was making the girl upset.

"Here, I made you a cup of tea. I always find that it helps to soothe my nerves. Perhaps, it would help you, too," Effie smiled and handed the cup to the girl.

Haymitch watched them warily from where he sat half perched on the window sill, arms folded across his chest. Effie caught his eyes and sent a silent question his way, seeking his direction on how he wanted to go about the problem at hand.

He looked at her pointedly, jerking his head towards Emily. He gave Effie the lead. She glared at him. Being comforting wasn't exactly one of Haymitch's strong virtues, especially not when he hardly knew what the problem was.

"Emily, darling," Effie spoke softly. "Did something happen? Everything alright at home, I hope."

She nodded, pressing a clean piece of tissue to her nose. Her spectacle had been discarded and was now lying on the coffee table along with several other used tissues. Effie eyed them in distaste but kept quiet about it.

"I – I turned eighteen a week ago and yesterday… I got it... The letter."

"Oh no," Effie breathed, her hand flying to cover her mouth.

 _Ah,_  Haymitch inhaled, leaning back against the window pane.  _It all makes sense now._

"Do you have a boy?" Haymitch asked. "Someone you love preferably and wouldn't mind spending the next few years with."

To his relief, Emily nodded. Effie smiled at her answer.

Haymitch arched an eyebrow at the girl. "So what's the problem? Marry him."

"Haymitch!" Effie chided. She sounded alarmed as she quickly turned towards Emily, afraid that he might have offended her in some way.

"She gotta get married, Eff. The law requires it. If she's in love with some boy, better marry him now."

"Yes, but you didn't have to be so –"

If anything, Emily's sobbing grew louder. Haymitch stared at her in confusion. He really couldn't fathom what the problem was. Granted, eighteen is a young age for anyone to settle down and start a family but it wasn't as if there was a choice in the matter.

"I can't!" Emily wailed, her small body breaking into violent sobs. "I can't marry him!"

"Emily," Effie called out. She rubbed the girl's arms soothingly. "I know you think you're too young to be married – "

_Oh, good. I'm not the only one who thinks that._

"I am!"

"I know. But there's nothing you can do right now. You have to follow the law this country had set out, no matter how appallingly disgusting it is," Effie's lips thinned into a disapproving line. "There is no choice in the matter. I didn't have a choice. Haymitch didn't either."

He grunted in assent.

Ignoring him, Effie went on. "If you choose not to get married, you'll be sent across the borders and stripped off your citizenship. You are aware of that fact, surely? You won't get to come back and see your family."

"I can't get married, Mrs. Abernathy," she hiccupped. "He's… He's already married to someone else. Hans… Hans is two years older than me. His time came before me. He was already eligible once the law was passed."

"Oh," Effie said.

Haymitch frowned. He understood with a sudden clarity what drove Emily to that state.

"He had to get married to someone else or…" she trailed off, accepting another piece of tissue from Effie. "They wouldn't let him wait for me. When he got his letter, we went to the Justice Building. We tried to appeal against it… to at least let him wait until I turn eighteen so we could get married to each other but they wouldn't allow it, Mrs. Abernathy. I had to let him go. He's somebody else's husband now."

Effie twisted in her seat slightly to look at Haymitch helplessly.

_Does she really expect me to be able to help?_

Haymitch stared at her because he had expected her to have a shrewd idea on the best way to deal with Emily. His thoughts were distracted by a different aspect of the law that he had never once considered. Of course, he was aware that teenagers who came off age was immediately expected to embrace adulthood and settle into a marriage but he had not given much thought on anything else. What about those in Emily's situation? Those who were unable to marry someone they love just because their partner was slightly older and had to be called up first?

If he were to bring this matter up with the Council, they would merely tweak the law to allow a grace period of when one partner could wait for the other. He supposed he could use this point in his next appeal but it would not make for a strong argument.

"Have you gotten any offers or petitions yet?" Effie asked. "Or have you made any yourself?"

Somehow, while he was deep in thought, Effie had managed to pull the girl into a half embrace with Emily's face buried in her shoulder and Effie stroking her hair quietly.

"I have received some from several boys in this district," came Emily's muffled reply. "Some of them would have to find someone else from beyond Twelve."

"Why's that?"

"The proportion of girls to boys who turned eighteen isn't balanced in this district," Haymitch answered, spotting the problem once Emily brought it up. "That's another issue the Council would have to deal with. What if there are not enough girls to pair with the boys or vice versa? What happens then?

"Not now, Haymitch," Effie told him off. She recognised that tone of voice. It was one he used whenever he debated ideas and discussed issues pertaining to the law with her.

"My mother wants me to marry my distant cousin, second cousin or whatever. He's in Five. She thinks I'll be safer with him… with a family. I've never met him before."

"Perhaps your mother is right, darling."

"Twelve is my home. I don't want to leave it," she sobbed.

Emily must have remembered that Haymitch was still in that room because she turned to face him. He shifted and cleared his throat, waiting for whatever it was that she wanted to say.

"You said you were going to stop it. You spent all that time in the library. Researching! You said you will stop it, Mr. Abernathy. Why hasn't it been stopped yet?"

"I'm trying, Emily. It's not that easy."

"Please, please. I don't want to get married. I have my whole life ahead of me. I promised Hans… I promised him I would marry him."

"Well, your boy's married to someone else," Haymitch pointed out.

His gaze shifted when he felt Effie glaring at him. Perhaps that was not such a smart thing to say. It was probably something Emily did not need to hear and was already well aware of.

Taking a deep breath, Haymitch pushed himself off the window sill, pacing the floor as he spoke to her.

"Look, girl, I am working on it. I will stop this damn law. I don't know when that will happen but it will end. It has to end and nobody will be bound by a marriage that they do not want. When that happens, you and your – Hans was it?" – you'll be free to do whatever you want. But in the meantime, at the risk of being permanently exiled and barred from returning to Panem, I suggest you marry that cousin of yours and hang on tight. Learn some self-preservation, okay, and adapt."

"How long?"

"I don't know," Haymitch answered truthfully. He ceased his pacing and came to a stop in front of her. "Try not to get pregnant. It'll make things complicated."

Effie must have taken that remark personally because out of the corner of his eyes, he saw her stiffened. Those words were not meant for Effie. It was an advice to the distraught woman and an advice that Haymitch firmly believed in.

"Don't get pregnant," Effie repeated once Emily had calmed down enough to return home. "I think I much prefer the 'stay alive'."

She walked away and he heard the front door closed behind her. From the window, he saw Effie settling down onto the wicker chair at the front porch, staring miserably into the distance.

XxX

Haymitch had not wanted to go. He was contented to just sit at home and while his time away but Effie had insisted.

So he found himself standing next to Effie on the train station watching the train pulled out of District Twelve with Emily in it, bound to District Five to start her new life.

There had been a genuine, surprised but joyful look on her face when she saw Mr. and Mrs. Abernathy at the train station to send her off. Effie received a big warm hug from her, a million thanks falling from the girl's lips and a constant stream of apologies for her meltdown a week ago.

Emily turned towards him then and Haymitch was quick to throw his hand up.

"Woah, woah, you ain't gonna hug me, are you?" he asked, raising an eyebrow skeptically.

Emily's hands dropped to her sides, glancing up at Haymitch uncertainly. "You don't do hugs then?"

"Nope."

"Well then," she extended her hand. "Goodbye, Mr. Abernathy. Thank you for… for your advice. Thank you for everything."

Haymitch nodded.

"Good luck with the law. I hope you succeed for everyone's sake. One more thing, please look after my library! I'll be back!"

That made him chuckle. The library was her throne and she was not going to give up that easily.

"I expect you back at the library someday."

"Of course, I'll come back. I promise. Once the law is over, you can bet that I will. Will you promise to bring your children around then? I'll show them all the good books."

Effie smiled at her.

"Take care of yourself. And have faith in Haymitch, okay? He will do what is right," Effie said, patting the girl's cheeks.

_He will do what is right._

That brought him no comfort, not when he housed so much doubt of his own capabilities especially as a father to two children or his ability to succeed where the law is concerned.


	34. Chapter 34

Effie had been receiving a steady stream of deliveries from the Capitol for the past one month. Haymitch had begun to expect a parcel on their door steps every few days. He was beginning to think that Felix was terrible at math and couldn't understand the amount of shipping fee he would save if he had sent everything into one parcel every end of the week instead of every few days.

"This is cute, isn't it?" she gave him a lopsided smile.

Haymitch peered from the rim of his coffee mug to the onesie Effie was holding up. Emblazoned across it were the words that made Haymitch arched an incredulous eyebrow – "Perfect in every way."

Effie dived into the box again and extracted two similar looking shirts except for the colours. They were in blue and white individually. She took one look at it and started giggling.

"Look at what it says, Haymitch!"

He stared down at the blue shirt. Printed in white was the word 'boop' and when he looked across at the matching shirt, it said the same except this time it was printed in blue.

"He's got to be joking," Haymitch muttered.

"Should I ask Felix to stop with the gifts?

"Let him," Haymitch yawned, stretching his arms over his back. "If he wants to do the shopping, I'm more than happy to let him. Since you're being financially strict lately, it would save us the money and the time. But, the moment he starts sending us clothes that says 'I love Uncle Felix', you better step in, sweetheart."

"He just might. I would be surprised if he didn't, to be truthful."

With careful and precise movements, Effie folded the clothes, placing them on the arm of the sofa when she felt his hand on her thigh. Haymitch had waited all day to inform her and it seemed a good a time as any right now.

"Plutarch and I have finalized the appeal. Everything's set to go."

"Oh?" her brows crinkled. "When will you be going then?"

Haymitch shrugged in reply. "In a week, maybe, two. Plutarch's trying to get us an audience with the President and the Council."

"The Council? You're submitting it to the Council this time instead of just the President?"

"We thought it would be better for them to hear it from us directly instead of through the report Paylor's secretary would draft."

"That's probably wise," Effie nodded. Pushing herself off the sofa, she walked over to retrieve her planner and noted down the dates Haymitch had told her.

"Don't schedule any of your appointments with Dr. Bell in the next two weeks," he said. "If there's any, schedule them within the next few days while I'm around in case you need me to go with you for some reason."

He watched as her hand hovered in mid-air, fingers still gripping on to her pen. When she looked up, Effie beamed at him. He was just offering to accompany her to her appointments, she didn't have to act as though he had promise to give her the moon and stars.

XxX

Effie was fussing over him and he let her because for some unexplainable reason he had recognised it as something that she needed to do. For the second time that day, she was going through the list she had drawn up for him, listing everything he should have packed the night before.

"Alright, you've got everything you need," she announced, folding the paper in satisfaction.

"I could have told you the same, if you let me," he muttered as he zipped his duffel bag together. He glanced up when he felt her gaze on him. "Listen, don't walk too much. Elevate your legs since you've been complaining about it being so swollen the past few days. While I'm not around, get the kids to help you out if you need anything."

Effie gave him a smile. "Okay."

"Don't strain yourself," Haymitch continued. "It'll only make your feet ache."

"I know, Haymitch," she sighed. "Do you have the list of things I need you to get from the Capitol?"

Haymitch straightened up and patted his breast pocket where the list was.

"Don't stay away too long!"

"Why?" he smirked. "Thought you didn't like me breathing down your neck? Shouldn't you throw a party now that you have the house all to yourself?"

"As if you'd approve of such things anyway," she mumbled. "I thought it was ' _don't stand too long on your feet, Effie'_ "

Haymitch laughed as he adjusted the strap of the bag on his shoulder.

"Glad to know you were paying attention," he said, cupping her cheek and bending down slightly so they were on eye level. "Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone."

He hesitated before he kissed her forehead and walked towards the door. Haymitch received another smile from her and he couldn't help as he returned the smile.

"Wait," she cried out. He turned and waited as she waddled up to where he was. "You're not going to say goodbye to them? They'll miss you."

"They've never even met me," he rolled his eyes.

Effie shot him a disgruntled look, glaring at him. "They can hear you and that is such a rude thing to say to your children! Don't mind your father, my sweets, he didn't mean anything by it."

Haymitch stared at Effie and for the umpteenth time, he wondered if she had not completely lost her mind. Still, she was nothing if not determined. Effie had a hold of his hand and was pressing it to her stomach, waiting for him to address the twins. There was no winning with this woman.

"Bye, peanuts," he mumbled, stroking her swollen belly absentmindedly. "See you when I get back, I supposed."

Satisfied, Effie released the hold on his wrist, grinning at him happily. She walked him out of the door and waved until he disappeared round the bend, in the direction of the train station, neither of them having any idea just how prophetic Haymitch's words to his children would be.

XxX

Effie disliked being alone. She had grown so accustomed to Haymitch's presence and having him around for her to talk to. Being alone reminded her of so many memories she would rather forget; memories of staying in her apartment by herself wishing that her sister was alive and living with her, memories of her prison cell before she was housed with Johanna and Annie and memories of returning to the Capitol and living months in solitude before she married Haymitch.

There was no point denying it any longer, she thought. She was bored. And she was in pain. Her back had been aching although she had managed to keep that piece of information away from Haymitch. She didn't need another set of 'dos' and 'don'ts' from him.

She was feeling nauseated and at first, she thought she was down with flu and fever but a quick check with the thermometer confirmed that she was not. She walked up slowly to the twin's nursery. Effie had lost count how many times she had refolded and reorganized their wardrobe since Haymitch left for the Capitol. She was currently worrying if there were enough hats and mittens for both of the babies and if Haymitch had bought the correct diapers size for them.

On the second day, Haymitch called the house just as she was wondering if he had settled in or if the meeting had started.

"How did it go?"

"Not bad," he answered. "They've taken a recess so we'll continue tomorrow."

"But how does it look like to you? Do you think they are convinced by – "

"They're listening and that's a good start. You and the twins? Everything alright back home?"

"Yes," she smiled, twirling the cord around her fingers. "Your geese are fine, too. Peeta feeds them. Haymitch, can you get more hats? And mittens, too. I'm not sure if we have enough. While you're at it, buy more clothes. I read in my book that babies go through a lot of them and we should just be prepared. I'll feel better if we are. Put that in the list, will you?"

"We have an entire cupboard filled with baby clothes, Effie. I'm sure it's – "

"Yes, of course, but what if that is not enough?"

"Effie…"

"Haymitch, please."

"Fine. Why not I buy the entire BabyTown? The whole damn shop itself?" he grumbled.

XxX

There really was nothing else she could do with the nursery. She realized that irritating fact on the third day. With nothing else to occupy her time, Effie wandered to the back yard, tearing pieces of bread before tossing them to the geese.

At least it wasn't so quiet out here, not with the racket those birds were making. Effie stood by the pen, watching the goslings waddling after the mother goose. The sight brought her a strange sort of comfort. That would be her one day, with her two children trailing after her, looking up at her for guidance and comfort and love. Effie promised to herself that she would do all that she could for them. She would teach them everything she knew, she would be there for them unlike her own mother while she was growing up and she would love them with everything she had because they are her world now. Haymitch and her may not have planned to have them but it didn't change anything, not for her. Her only wish was for Haymitch to be by her side as she watched her children grow but she didn't dare to hope for too much.

Effie was lost in thought when the pain brought her back. Her grip on the metal pen tightened and Effie inhaled sharply. There it was again, the uncomfortable feeling in her abdomen, the tightening and squeezing sensation she had been feeling since yesterday afternoon. Effie pressed a gentle hand on her stomach. It was hard to the touch and she wasn't sure at the moment if that was normal. She forced herself to regulate her breathing. In and out, in and out.

The backache she had been experiencing began to bother her once more; a dull, pulsating ache that grew in intensity the longer she stood by the pen. Slowly, she began to make the tedious walk back to the house.

XxX

As the day progressed, the cramps became worst. It moved upwards towards her stomach and she began to seriously consider calling Haymitch only to discard the thoughts aside. It seemed silly to bother him with such a trivial matter. It was only a little bit of pain, nothing she couldn't handle.

Katniss and Peeta were not at home at the moment. She saw them leaving with little Prim in between them, her feet kicking the air as she dangled on her parent's hand, her laughter could be heard within the compound of the village.

_Oh, Annie! Of course. Who better to ask?_

Settling herself comfortably on the sofa, Effie began to dial Annie's number.

"Wrong number," the voice on the other end said even before Effie had the chance to say hello.

She recognised that voice and she was surprised to hear it.

"Johanna! What are you doing in Four? You've been staying with Annie since we left?"

"Ah," Johanna chuckled. "Effie Trinket. Who else could be calling this house," said Johanna.

"Abernathy," Effie corrected. It had become almost a knee-jerk reaction whenever someone called her by her maiden name.

"Right. I keep forgetting," said Johanna. "Actually, I'm not surprise that you're surprised about me being in Four. Again. You would think after what they did to me in the Capitol, I would avoid Four and all these waters surrounding them but strangely, it's a peaceful place, this district. And, it gets me away from Gale so that works, too."

"You could visit me and Haymitch here in Twelve, too, you know? You're always welcome here."

"I will, one day but Finn's here and I… kinda like this kid, I guess," she admitted.

Effie smiled to herself. If Johanna were to say that she didn't like Finnick's son, then Effie would be worried. The boy's her godson and with Johanna around, Effie noticed how Annie didn't seem to go off on a stupor as often. They were good for each other, as dysfunctional a family as she and Haymitch was with Katniss and Peeta.

Another wave of cramps reminded Effie the reason for her call in the first place. Gritting her teeth, Effie asked for Annie and the moment Annie got on the line, Effie wasted no time explaining the pain she had been suffering from.

"Seriously, Annie, I need to know just how long would this Braxton Hicks last? I have so much to do around this house and it's just slowing me down. It's bothersome, if I may say so myself."

"Effie," she called out her name uncertainly. "I don't think… You need to time your contractions. Yes, yes, time."

"Excuse me?"

_Has Annie gone back to one of her stupor? Time my contractions?_

"You need to time it. I can stay… I will stay on the phone with you. Please do it."

Effie grew even more alarmed by the second. "How do I do that?"

In the background she could hear Johanna's voice, "is she in labour already?"

That question seemed to snap Effie's attention. She stood up straighter, eyes opened wide.

_No, no, I can't be in labour!_

"Annie," she called out urgently. "Annie, I'm not in labour. I can't be. It's too early. I'm only 34 weeks pregnant! This isn't happening, Annie. Tell me it's just false contractions. Those things happen, don't they?"

"I need you to calm down. Please. Just listen to my voice, concentrate on it and do as I say," Annie told her quietly. Her voice had always been soft and soothing and listening to it put Effie at ease, if only slightly.

Leaning back against the sofa, Effie tried to make herself as comfortable as possible as she listened attentively to Annie who guided her on how to time her contractions. Effie had read about it in her book and had even clarified it with Dr. Bell but in her state she had forgotten everything.

"5 minutes, Annie. I think it's 5 minutes apart," Effie confirmed breathlessly.

"Oh dear," the other woman said over the phone. "You should get Haymitch."

"Get Haymitch? I can't! He is not at home, he is at the City. Why Annie? What's wrong?"

"Effie," Annie started nervously. "Those are labour contractions. They're not just Braxton Hicks. It would be… You should call your doctor. You need to get to the hospital."

"No, no, no, Annie! No," she laughed nervously. Effie repeated what she had told Annie previously. "I'm not in labour! I'm only 34 weeks pregnant. It's not time, yet. I can't be in labour. Annie, I can't do this. Haymitch isn't here."

"Effie…"

"And isn't my water supposed to break? That's the sign of labour, isn't it?"

"Sometimes it doesn't if you're less than 37 weeks pregnant. I'm not sure, Effie, but those contractions are too frequent for it not to be labour contractions. Please, can you get to a hospital?"

"I'll wait till Haymitch is back. He should be back by tomorrow. Or the day after. I could…" she breathed deeply. "I could call him and ask him to come back tomorrow."

"No, no," Annie insisted. "Listen to me, you cannot stay at home. Please call the hospital. Get Peeta or Katniss to send you to the hospital."

Effie stiffened as another contraction hit her and when it passed, she wiped the perspiration on her forehead with the back of her hand.

"Peeta and Katniss are not at home," Effie exclaimed. She was on the verge of tears and Annie must have sensed it.

"Just calm down. Deep breaths like how you've been doing all this time. I'm going to hang up the phone soon and you will call your doctor," Annie told her. "That's the first thing you will do. I will get Johanna to call Haymitch immediately. Someone should inform him. Don't bother about the bag you've packed. Peeta or Katniss can bring that over later. But call your doctor now and I will call you back in five minutes to check on you."

Effie had never heard Annie talked this firmly to anyone and that was when she realized how dire her situation was and there was no way she could wait for Haymitch.

"Okay," she exhaled shakily. "Okay, I'll call my doctor."


	35. Chapter 35

Haymitch never thought the day would come when both Felix and him would be making a trip together to purchase items for his children; items that Effie had requested and listed out just before he left for the Capitol. They were certainly an odd pair, two men browsing through the aisle, arguing about infant clothes and mittens. Haymitch had entered the shop with a steely determination to purchase whatever clothes that were meant for newborn with as little fuss as possible but his mistake was in bringing Felix along. Felix had insisted that they pay careful attention and consideration to the make and design of the clothes.

"We wouldn't want the children to be dressed in drabs, do we?"

"I have an idea," Haymitch began. "Here's some money. Get everything on Effie's list. I'll be outside."

The second meeting with the Council after their adjournment the previous day was scheduled for that afternoon. It had started off without a hitch. Since he knew what he wanted to get across, Haymitch paid more attention watching the faces of each of the Council members, his eyes occasionally flickering to President Paylor, gauging their reaction to each new point that he brought up.

"Essentially, with the facility, what the law is doing is to treat women like – "

The door to the meeting room flew open. Haymitch broke off, glancing over his shoulder to see Fulvia rushing into the room. She headed straight for him. Plutarch shot his wife a disgruntled look at her audacity to interrupt an important meeting.

"What?" Haymitch asked out of the corner of his mouth. His eyes scanned the Council members before him.

"There's a phone call for you. It's urgent. It's coming from District Four."

"It's probably Annie. Tell her I'll call back once I'm done," he whispered.

Fulvia shook her head. "It's Johanna Mason and she said if you don't come to the phone, she will release a very compromising photo of you from ten years ago. I don't know what that means but she sounded like she meant business."

"I'm in the middle of a – "

Fulvia pursed her lips together and squeezed his biceps. "She was right. You would be difficult. I really don't want to do this but it concerns your wife."

XxX

Haymitch paced the space in front of the receptionist's desk. The place was small and cramped and Haymitch was pacing in a dizzying circle. Fulvia stood to the side, not wanting to be caught in Haymitch's path. He had the phone receiver pressed to his left ear with a finger jammed into his right to filter out the noise in the office.

"Say that again," he requested, more out of the need to process what Johanna just said than anything else.

"Your wife called. Just, barely five minutes ago. Annie thinks she's in labour. I heard Effie was having contractions. Something about five minutes apart. Listen Abernathy, I don't know much about being pregnant, okay. Annie told me to inform you. And from what I gather, you're gonna be a father real soon. Excited?" Johanna cackled over the phone.

"Effie's in… WHAT?!" he exclaimed. "Jo, stop fucking joking around. This isn't funny. I was in a meeting and you pulled me out to joke about my wife being in labour?"

He heard Johanna grunt over the phone.

"Annie! He wouldn't believe me," he heard her shout and then she was back on the phone with him. "Talk to her yourself if you think I'm joking."

Johanna sounded annoyed. Haymitch tried to call her back but she had already handed the phone over to Annie.

"Hello, Haymitch," the woman greeted. "Johanna was being serious. I was on the phone with Effie when she timed her contractions."

Haymitch pulled at the collar of his shirt. It felt like he was choking suddenly. His palms were sweaty so he wiped it on his pants.

"There has to be a mistake. She can't be in labour, Annie. She's… I don't think she's even anywhere near her due date."

"I know this is a bit surprising, Haymitch, but those contractions, they are not Braxton Hicks. You need to be with her. Quickly."

"But the meeting…"

Annie was silent on the phone.

"He is worried about the fucking meeting? Are you serious, Abernathy?" he heard Johanna say. She must be listening on the other extension in Annie's house.

On the phone, Annie sighed. "Johanna, please hang up."

She waited until they heard the click of the phone before she started speaking again. "This… This is not something I can help you with, Haymitch. I'm sorry. You're the only person who knows where your priorities lie."

Annie was right. There was only so much Annie could do to help them both. They were lucky Effie had the sense to call Annie when she was in pain or she would never know that she was in labour. He should have been there. Haymitch could only imagine the panic Effie must be going through at the moment.

He swallowed hard. His eyes scanned the office, drifting towards the door where the Council and the President was waiting for his return.

"Choose wisely, that is all I can say. Finnick was not by my side when I gave birth and I would do anything to have him there. But he never had a choice unlike you. Finnick had a war to fight but if things were different, he would have been there to welcome his son into this world," Annie paused. No matter how much time had passed, it was still difficult for her to talk about Finnick. "You could always postpone the meeting, couldn't you? These are your children and they're only going to be born this one time. If you miss this, you will never get this chance again."

"I know," he agreed. Haymitch exhaled slowly. "Months ago, I made a promise to her. I told her I would be there when she gives birth. She'll be barking mad if I break it. Is she alright, Annie? Was she doing okay when you last spoke to her?"

"She should have called her doctor by now. I'm not sure how she would be getting to the hospital. Katniss and Peeta are not at home. You really should get back to Twelve."

XxX

The moment Annie hung up, Haymitch tried calling home.

"Come on, come on, answer the phone," he muttered, rubbing his forehead in distress.

If he could just get a word in with Effie to assure her that he was coming home as soon as possible and that he would be there just like he said he would, he was sure that would calm her down slightly. Haymitch dialed twice more, growing increasingly frustrated as each ring went unanswered.

"Haymitch, Haymitch," Fulvia called out his name, laying a hand on his arm. "If she's in labour, I don't think she would be in any position to be walking to the phone to answer it."

Of course. Why had he not thought of that?

Haymitch nodded in agreement. "I have to get home. The meeting… I can't do that. You have to tell Plutarch what's happened. Reschedule it, postpone it or … I don't know. I need to get to Effie."

"Go," Fulvia smiled in understanding. Her hand was on his back, pushing him out of the door. "I'll tell Plutarch. He could probably speak on your behalf, anyway."

"Tell him not to screw it up," he shouted over his shoulder, making a run for the elevator. "And thank you!"

"Haymitch! Up the roof! It's faster by hovercraft."

Haymitch screeched to a halt. He threw her a grateful smile before turning on his heels to the staircase, taking two steps at a time to the roof top.

"And good luck!"

XxX

Effie made a mental note to thank the neighbor who lived across Victor's Village. After she had called Dr Bell and was told that it was indeed labour contractions, Effie had walked out of the village and went to the first house she saw. She saw a dirty pickup truck on the drive way and nearly laughed in relief. In less than fifteen minutes, she was already at the hospital.

That was three and half hours ago. She had been in labour for three and half hours, possibly longer since the pain had started since the day before, and Haymitch was nowhere to be seen.

"Where is he?" Effie demanded. Her face scrunched in pain as another wave of contractions hit her.

Peeta wiped her brows with a clean cloth. "He's on his way," he said. "I'm not just telling you this to make you feel better. I made a call to Plutarch's office."

"He'll never make it in time, Peeta. The train ride take a full - "

"He's coming here by hovercraft," said Peeta.

He glanced behind his shoulder at Katniss, silently asking if he had reached yet. She shook her head at him.

"Call Plutarch again. Please, Peeta. I will not deliver his children without him here!"

Giving her hand a squeeze and promising to be back with news of Haymitch, Peeta rushed out of the room in search of the nearest phone. Katniss took his place, sitting on the chair next to Effie's bed.

"You can't force yourself to keep the babies inside, Effie," Katniss said, letting the older woman gripped on to her hand as another contraction hit her. It was coming on more frequently now, each contraction lasting much longer than before. "If it's time, it's time with or without Haymitch."

"I'm… I'm okay…" she exhaled loudly. "They need to wait for me to dilate fully, right?"

Katniss nodded. They heard footsteps approaching the bed. Effie exchanged a glance with Katniss. The hopeful look in her eyes told Katniss all she needed to know. Effie wanted that to be Haymitch. When the curtains parted and they saw that it was her doctor instead, Effie's face fell. Effie was quiet as Dr. Bell examined her.

"I can feel your baby's head, Effie. 10 cm dilated. Your baby's ready to see the world."

"I can't - " she breathed out, shaking her head at her doctor. Effie turned to the younger girl. "Katniss, I can't do this without him."

"Don't think that way, Effie. I know you can do this. You have to."

She was interrupted by a knock on the door. Extracting her hand from Effie's grasp, Katniss went to talk to Peeta. He was no longer allowed in as they prepared Effie for childbirth.

"He's not going to be here in another hour and a half at most. Plutarch confirmed the hovercraft left the Capitol about three hours ago. How is she? Can she hold on and wait till he's here?"

Katniss threw him an exasperated look. "No. She can't wait that long."

XxX

Haymitch entered the cockpit although there were signs that expressly prohibited him from doing so.

"Look, can't you make this thing fly faster?"

"No, sir. Please get back to your seat."

"That's bullshit right? I'm pretty sure it can go faster than this."

"Sir, I am going at maximum speed for you. Any faster and I would put us all at an unnecessary risk. I heard you're going to be a father soon. Trust me, you would want me to get you there safely and in one piece."

"Where's the damn phone in this plane?" he growled, the frustration was growing by the minute. He felt so helpless and he had no news of Effie since the hovercraft took off.

After placing calls to different places, he finally managed to procure the number to the hospital in Twelve. "No, my wife's at your hospital. She should be at the labour ward or something. I don't know exactly where she is, alright? That's why I'm calling. I just need you to tell me if there's any way I could talk to her. Her name's Effie - Effie Abernathy. Do you need me to spell it out?"

His knees bounced rhythmically, fingers tapping the side of his thigh when he was put on hold, waiting for someone to get back on the line. Haymitch had expected the admin staff he was speaking to or some nurse who could update him on Effie's status to answer the phone. Instead, to his relief, it was Peeta on the phone.

"Haymitch?"

"Peeta?! Peeta, how is she?"

"Look, where are you? Forget that, it's not important," the young man said. "You need to get here quickly. She kept asking for you."

"Can you pass the phone to her?"

"I can't, Haymitch. I'm not allowed in anymore. She's not alone, though. Katniss is with her. She'll stay with Effie until you're here."

"Has she given birth yet, do you know?"

"She hasn't."

He let out a breath in relief. Haymitch leaned back against the seat, breathing deeply to calm himself.

 _Maybe I could still make it in time,_  he tried to assure himself.

XxX

Effie had a death grip on the mattress. The pain was astronomical and it did not help that her anxiety was mounting with each second that Haymitch was not there.

"I will kill that son of a bitch," she growled. She rarely ever cursed and even Katniss couldn't help but smirk at that. "I will kill him! Mark my words, Katniss."

"Just breathe in and out, Effie. That's right. You're doing okay."

"I'm serious. I'm going to…" she inhaled sharply. "… stab him if he so much as show his face around here!"

"Yes," Katniss nodded. She was afraid to disagree with Effie at the moment. "I'm sure you would. I don't doubt you but let's focus on the matter at hand first."

Effie wanted Haymitch there but she also wanted to wring the life out of him if and when he showed up. She must have confused Katniss with her conflicting emotions because she could see Katniss glancing helplessly at Dr. Bell.

"You're doing a good job, Mrs Mellark. Just keep talking to her."

"I'm never going to have… sex with him ever again! Not if it leads to this. I'm never letting him anywhere near – oh god, this hurts, Katniss."

Katniss turned beet red at the mention of sex between the people she had considered as her surrogate parents. If Effie noticed that she had made Katniss uncomfortable, she ignored it. Effie focused on her breathing. Perhaps that would take her mind off the pain.

_In and out. In and out._

_One. Two. Three._

_Breathe._

_Breathe._

Without warning, Effie burst into tears and Katniss pushed her chair back in surprise at the sudden change in emotion.

"I want Haymitch. Please, please get me Haymitch. I can't do this. I don't know how to give birth. Please, Katniss. Where is Haymitch?"

"Effie," Katniss spoke softly. She brushed Effie's hair back, squeezing her hand in encouragement. "Forget Haymitch. Just focus on yourself and your twins. You're about to meet your children. Nobody knows how to give birth. Sure, we read about it but the reality's a bit different, isn't it? Just listen to your doctor and when she said push, you push. Trust me, Effie. It will be alright. I promise. When you hold your child in your arms for the first time, it will all be worth it. Chins up, Effie."

"Effie, I want you to focus on your breathing and listen to me," Dr Bell asked, pushing her knees apart. "Everything will be alright. Ready?"

Effie squeezed her eyes shut and nodded.

"Don't let go of my hand, Katniss."

"I won't, I promise."

 


	36. Chapter 36

The hospital in District Twelve was just a small white blot in the distance but as the hovercraft flew nearer, Haymitch could see with clarity the roof where the hovercraft would be landing and the bustling of activities happening at the entrance of the hospital.

Haymitch was already at the door the moment the hovercraft made the slow descend on to the roof. The pilot did not even have to land the aircraft before Haymitch jumped off from it as it hovered a few inches off the ground.

"Thanks!" he shouted to the pilot before running towards the rooftop's door.

His feet carried him down three flights of stairs when he stopped, clutching to the metal handrail to catch his breath. It had been a while since he had put such a physical strain on himself and in normal circumstances, he doubted he would be able to continue at the pace he was going but the adrenaline pumping through him and the panic he was feeling spurred him forward.

Guided by his memory, Haymitch found the correct hallway. It was familiar to him and at the waiting room where he and Effie had sat waiting for Katniss when she gave birth to Prim months ago was where he found Peeta.

Haymitch jogged towards him and was about to open his mouth to ask after Effie when the double door swung open. Katniss emerged, moving hurriedly towards her husband. That was when her eyes landed on Haymitch, forcing her to abruptly change her course. She marched towards him, fist clenched at her side and delivered an unexpected slap across his face.

"What the – dammit!" Haymitch exclaimed, rubbing his cheek to alleviate the sting. He knew Katniss was capable of putting much more force into the slap but somehow, she hadn't.

"Effie wanted to kill you," she informed him. "When I saw you, I realized that I wanted the satisfaction of hitting you first. That should be you inside with her, Haymitch. Not me."

"Katniss…" Peeta started, standing to her side but otherwise, not doing much to calm his wife.

Haymitch glared at Peeta who shrugged in return with a tiny smirk on his face.

"Don't get me wrong, Haymitch. I was more than happy to be there with Effie and help her since  _you_  weren't there. But it should have been you welcoming your baby into this world. Every time she heard footsteps walking down the hallway, she asked if it was you. She cried for you and refused to deliver without you, you old fool."

Katniss stopped talking when she realized that Haymitch had been staring at her, looking stunned and distraught.

"I missed it? The entire birth…. I missed everythin'?" he asked. Haymitch ran his hand over his hairs. Struck by something Katniss had just told him, Haymitch looked up. "No… hold on. What was that you said? Baby? Singular."

She nodded. "One. She gave birth about 6 minutes ago."

The confirmation was all Haymitch needed to hear. Although it was not by any means a form of liberation, Haymitch was still grateful that he had a chance to witness the birth of the second child.

Haymitch breathed in relief. His face broke into a smile, such a rare genuine smile that Katniss and Peeta could only stare at him.

"Thank you, Katniss."

Stepping forward, Haymitch cupped her cheeks and kissed the younger woman's forehead.

"I'm gonna see Effie now."

XxX

The room was quiet when he walked in which in the current given circumstances, he thought was odd. It had slipped his mind to ask Katniss earlier as to why she was outside at the waiting room instead of with Effie if only one child had been delivered.

Haymitch expected screaming. Effie's screaming, to be precise but all he heard was the whirling of machines.

_Did I miss this one, too?_

Forcing himself not to dwell on that thought, he hurried further into the room and saw Effie at the end of it in one of the beds. She didn't notice him approaching since she had her eyes close. Effie looked pale with her hair matted to her face. Her skin was covered in sheen of sweat.

"Hey," he whispered quietly, looking down at her and brushing the blonde hair back from her face. "Hey, Effs."

Her eyes fluttered open, pale blue looking up at him tiredly.

"Hey, yourself. You're late."

"Was it my fault?" he chuckled, still talking to her softly. "I told you not to do anythin' stupid while I'm away. But you went into labour and gave birth without me. Seriously, sweetheart, you're making me look bad. Didn't get to keep my words to you."

"I'm going to kill you, you know. But I'll get to that later," she said, her fingers curling around his hand.

Haymitch smiled down at her. He kissed her cheek then, his breath warm against her skin. "I know. Katniss warned me."

"Good," she nodded. "I'm so happy to see you. Took you awhile."

"Yeah, took me more than awhile. Damn hovercraft wouldn't fly any faster. How are you doing, Effie?"

"This one's breeched, Haymitch. And Dr. Bell didn't think that the baby will move anytime soon."

It didn't sound good and suddenly, he was worried. Haymitch rested his hand on her belly, rubbing it in soothing circles. "What's gonna happen?" he frowned.

"They're going to do a C-section. Get the baby out."

Of course. Dr. Bell had explained this before, except he found it difficult trying to remember information of that kind in his current situation.

"When?"

"Now."

"I'll go with you. I'll be there," he assured her.

Effie shook her head at him. Her hands were suddenly pushing him away. "No."

"Effie, I know you're mad at me. But let me be with you for this one. Don't push me away, sweetheart. Be angry with me later."

She laughed softly at him. "I am angry, yes, but I don't have the energy to put up a fight with you now. I want you to be there with me, Haymitch but there's no point in you staying with me."

"I'm sure that's bullshit, sweetheart," he replied, his thumb rubbing smoothly over her cheekbones. "Let me be with you."

Effie shook her head adamantly.

"Alright, fine," he sighed. "I'll wait outside, then."

"No," she clutched his hand. "Go be with him at the nursery. Go and see him, Haymitch. Don't let him be alone."

His heart started racing. Haymitch was so focused on Effie, it had not occurred to him to ask after his child. He didn't even ask for the gender until Effie brought it up now.

"Him?" he frowned, looking at her intently. "Did you say him?"

"Him," Effie nodded with a smile. "It's a boy. You have a son. I've named that one. You have to wait your turn with the second one, okay?"

"Okay," he answered simply, nodding his head at her. Haymitch kissed her forehead then. "Okay."

'Okay' was all he could manage at the moment. Haymitch wanted to say more, to express his thoughts but there was a lump in his throat which felt like it had narrowed within the last ten seconds, constricting his airways and making conversation difficult. Haymitch drew a shaky breath and swallowed hard, blinking his eyes rapidly in an effort to regain his vision that had suddenly blurred slightly.

Effie stroked his cheek, pulling him closer to her so that his forehead was resting against hers. "Oh, Haymitch," Effie whispered, running her fingers through his hair. "Don't cry. Everything's alright. Please, Haymitch, be strong for me. I've never seen you like this. I – I don't know what to say."

"No, I'm not crying," he chuckled. "Oh damn, Effs. You don't have to say anythin'. Nothing. I – I just… It's been a hell of a day. And now… now you're telling me…. a son, eh?"

Effie smiled, her hand stroking the back of his hair comfortingly as he buried his face on the crook of her neck. At the back of his mind, Haymitch knew he should probably pulled himself together but for all those months that Effie was pregnant, while she had hoped for a girl, Haymitch did not have that much of a preference and knowing for certain that it was a boy made his heart felt things so foreign he couldn't quite name it.

"I can't believe I missed his birth. It makes me feel …"

"Rotten?" she supplied, cheekily. "But you're here now, Haymitch. That's all that matters. One day, when he is old enough to understand, we'll tell how you rushed your way to the hospital."

"And how you threatened to kill me," he teased.

"Yes, that too."

XxX

Haymitch stayed by her side until Dr. Bell entered the room what seemed like scant seconds later.

"Congratulations, Mr. Abernathy."

"Thank you," he inclined his head. "Is the boy healthy?"

"Yes. A little small for his size but nothing to worry about."

"And this one?"

"This one's a bit stubborn. He's not moving his head down and we've already broke Effie's water so he has to be delivered through surgery."

"Don't worry so much, Haymitch. I'm in good hands," Effie squeezed his hand in reassurance.

"How can I not?" he muttered. "Take care of her for me, will you, doctor?"

"I'll be fine," Effie laughed quietly. "Go and visit your son, Haymitch. It's long overdue."

"You sure you don't want me to stay?" he asked just to be certain.

"I'm sure."

For a split second, Haymitch hovered by her bed, unsure of what he should do. He considered the option of staying by her side at the surgery room despite Effie's wishes. But a part of him wanted to meet his boy.

Stooping down, Haymitch kissed her; the salty taste of perspiration dotting her upper lips permeated his tongue. The kissed was gentle and slow; one that wished for her safety and sought for her forgiveness for his tardiness. "Come back to us safe. We'll be waiting."

When he pulled back, Effie was smiling at him. He held her gaze, storing the image of her into his memory as he watched the nurses wheeled her bed into the operating theatre. And it was right then, just before Effie disappeared from view that he remembered to ask an important question.

"Effie! Sweetheart, what's his name?"

She lifted her head up slightly at the sound of his voice and the attendant stopped wheeling her bed, allowing Effie to answer his question.

"Tristan. His name is Tristan."

 _Tristan,_ he said out loud as he walked out, testing the word on his tongue.  _Tristan Abernathy. Well… alright. At least it isn't somethin' outrageous._

It never dawned on him that he had kissed his wife more times within the space of five minutes in that delivery room than he had in their entire marriage.

XxX

Haymitch navigated the hallway with Peeta and Katniss, both of whom had decided to walk with him to the nursery before heading home to their daughter.

The Neonatal Intensive Care Unit was not difficult to find and soon enough, Haymitch found himself standing in front of the door that lead to the NICU. He stopped walking causing Peeta to collide into his back.

"What's wrong?" Katniss frowned.

"I think…. I think I should go back to the operating theatre. Wait for Effie there," Haymitch muttered in reply.

He took a step back but Peeta had a grip on his hand. The firm touch forced Haymitch to look into the young man's eyes.

"She told you to be here with your son."

"I know. But this one's fine, isn't he? There are nurses in there looking after him. Effie's alone, though."

"This little man needs his father," Peeta spoke. "Effie will be fine."

"No, no. She might have told me she'd be fine but it's better… better if I'm there," Haymitch said distractedly.

Feeling that there was more to this than just Haymitch needing to be with Effie, Peeta exchanged a glance with Katniss.

"Oh, stop this, Haymitch!" Katniss snapped. "He's a baby. A child."

Haymitch glowered. "I know that," he snapped. "Which is why… Look, Katniss, when Prim was born, didn't you feel the same?"

"Yes. It's a normal feeling. Peeta felt it, too."

"I did. I still feel terrified. I don't think it will completely leave you. You're always going to think of all the things that could go wrong and the mistakes you'd make where your child is concern but you have to realise that you're the only person that can protect and nurture that child. You're going to be alright, old man. The nurses will be there if anything. Effie is depending on you to be with him. Don't let her down a second time."

"Is that him?" Katniss squinted, pointing to the infant in an incubator. She pressed herself closer to the glass window of the nursery at the NICU. "Looks like Abernathy on the card. Can you see the card, Peeta?"

Peeta gave him a reassuring smile and Haymitch nodded. Together, they moved to join Katniss by the window. His eyes were fixed on the spot where Katniss had pointed.

"You should go in."

XxX

Most of the infants he saw as he walked across the room were in an incubator and he assumed they were born premature, too. He followed the nurse quietly until they came to a stop at the exact place where Katniss had pointed. Trust her hunter eyesight to have sharp vision.

There was a form of identification at the front of the incubator and he saw what Katniss saw earlier, confirming that that was indeed his son.

When he finally peered inside the incubator, he didn't see his son. He saw first all the tubes attached to the small, little thing at the centre of it.

"He's a healthy little boy," the nurse informed him, having sense his worry. Gesturing to the contraption covering his son's nose, the nurse began to explain. "He can breathe on his own but he still needs help getting oxygen into his lungs. That's a C-PAP."

"A C – sorry?"

"It's an airway pressure that will help him breathe. Depending on his progress, we can take it off in two to three days' time. Here… If you want to touch him, just put your hand through this," she started to demonstrate, extending her hand through the circular openings of the incubator.

"And those machines? What are they for?" he asked, hands still firmly by his sides.

"It's to monitor his heart and respiratory rate and also his blood pressure."

"He will live?"

"I have no doubt that he will," the nurse smiled kindly at the worried father. "He just needs a little help along the way at the moment. We just need to keep him here for a while to monitor his progress until he is fit to be discharged home."

"When will that be?"

"I'm in no position to say exactly. But Dr. Bell did inform me that he is doing well for a 34 weeks. Maybe in a week, hopefully."

XxX

While the nurse was talking to him, he had wanted nothing more than to be left alone but now that he was alone with his child, he wished for the nurse to come back. He felt safer having her around in case anything went wrong.

 _Nothing's going to go wrong,_  he chastised himself.

For a long while, all he did was to stare at the child, taking in the pale blond hair sticking messily all over his head and the slightly wrinkled skin around his hands that most new born seemed to have.

 _Effie's hair,_  he noted. Because it if was anything like his, it would be darker.  _A point to you, sweetheart._

There was a strong sense of amazement surrounding him. He was looking down at the very life Effie had been carrying inside her. It felt incredibly surreal. Haymitch could touch him if he wanted; feel his skin, feel the boy move in response to his touch and for real this time round, too. Not just feel the baby kick through Effie's stomach.

Taking a deep breath, Haymitch slipped his hands inside the opening of the incubator. He stroked the child's head, feeling the soft tuft of hair under his palm. A lone finger trailed the skin on the boy's thigh, smooth and unmarred unlike the skin on his parent's body.

_If you ever have a scar, it's because you fell from a tree or you scraped your knee. And your scar will not bear tales of horror._

Haymitch rubbed his thumb over his cheek and touched the tiny hand. It took him by surprise when his son uncurled his fist at the feel of his touch.

Effie must have done it when they presented the baby to her after she gave birth but Haymitch repeated it for his own peace of mind. Muttering quietly to himself, Haymitch began to count the number of fingers and toes.

_Ten._

"Hello, Tristan," he croaked, his voice was soft but thick with emotions he could not place. "Just you and me for now. Your mother will be here soon, I promise. And we'll get to see your brother… or sister."

An amused chuckle escaped Haymitch's lips when the boy yawned in response. His eyes remained close, oblivious to the outside world and the pain his mother just went through to bring him into this life.

Haymitch lost track of time as he watched the rise and fall of Tristan's chest. He supposed years of hardship had made paranoid and turned him into a pessimist since he was entertaining a completely irrational thought as he sat next to his son. He was afraid that if he were to look away, even for just a second, Tristan would slip away right under his watch and stop breathing. Just to calm himself, his eyes kept flickering to the machine that monitored his son's respiratory rate.

"What colour are your eyes, peanut?" he asked. It felt silly talking to the infant knowing full well that the boy could never answer him but it was better than talking to him while he was still in his mother's womb where Haymitch couldn't physically see him. "I hope you have her eyes. Your mother's got beautiful eyes. Don't tell her I said that, of course."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I have edited this chapter no less than three times hoping that i struck the right balance for Haymitch. He's been worried about Effie and he does care about what happened to her so I didn't want to make him so standoff-ish or so indifferent (because he's not. he just haven't truly realise that, yet) but I also don't want him to be so sappy. :/
> 
> Anyway, that's one gender down, and one name down, too :) why did she named him that? hmmm. Reviews!


	37. Chapter 37

Effie had never associated operating theatres with good memories before. She had lost her mother who passed away at the operating table to stomach cancer years ago. While she had not felt such a terrible loss from her absence, the wave of sadness still washed over her when the doctor broke the news. That woman was still her mother even if she had not always been there for Effie.

Effie herself had nearly lost her life at the operating theatre in District Thirteen. That memory had not been pleasant, tinged with pain and despair and a desperate need for them to let her die. It was a scene of utter chaos as she screamed herself raw on that gurney while the medical team scurry around to prevent her from dying, white gloved hands covered with blood and fingers desperately trying to hold her down.

It was different this time. There were no screams of dying patients or doctors and nurses shouting over each other, frantically giving commands and demanding medicines for their patients.

It was quiet and despite the nervousness, Effie liked the stark contrast. Perhaps this time, it will be different. She wasn't going to lose her life in this room. No, she would not. It was a simple surgery. This time there will only be good memories for her; a memory of her bringing a life into her world. That would be the memory she would take away from this room and one that she hoped would be strong enough to overcome the other two painful ones.

"I want to see," Effie whispered to the nurse as they prepared her for her surgery. "When my baby's taken out, I want to witness it. Please."

The nurse conversed with Dr. Bell, informing her of Effie's wishes.

"We'll lower the screen slightly for you when it's time," Dr. Bell told her. "Lay back now and think pleasant thoughts. We'll begin shortly."

Turning her head to the right, Effie saw a glimpse of the metal instruments arranged neatly on the tray just before they pulled up the screen over the lower half of her body. Effie couldn't help the shudder that went through her at the sight of the gleaming silver instruments. The image of the scalpel and dissecting knife was enough to throw her back to those dark days she spent in the Capitol's prison.

Effie was beginning to regret sending Haymitch away. So she did the only thing that was within her power. Effie closed her eyes and brought to mind the image of her husband; the smile of relief on his face when he saw her at the hospital bed after she delivered and the gleam in his eyes when she told him it was a boy. Effie thought of her son, forced herself to remember how he looked like when the nurses showed him to her just before he was taken away. She imagined both father and son together in the nursery and she smiled. They were waiting for her.

There was a light pressure on her belly which made her wonder if Dr. Bell had made the cut across her skin. Effie stared up at the ceiling, counting the tiles as they worked on her. It wasn't long before a nurse tapped her on the shoulder to bring her attention to the screen that was slowly being lowered, not so much so as to allow her the full view of everything but enough for her to see Dr. Bell reaching into her uterus to guide the baby out. It was a weird sensation, to be able to feel her own baby being pulled out of her but with none of the pain she expected from having a gaping hole in her belly.

Lifting her head slightly, Effie watched as they inserted a suction tube into the baby's nose to clear the liquid as another nurse cut off the umbilical cord. Effie had no idea the sound she made - a cross between a cry and a laugh of relief - when the baby started crying, emitting a soft piercing wail.

"Happy birthday," one of the nurses cooed. "Mrs. Abernathy, we're going to clean and weigh the child first."

"Effie, I'm going to start the stitching process. This will take about 30 to 40 minutes. Okay?" Dr. Bell informed her, keeping her abreast of everything that was going on.

It felt like forever before they brought the infant over to her, clean and wrapped snugly.

"It's a baby boy."

"A boy," Effie repeated dazedly and nodded, a finger tracing the smooth skin on her son's cheek. "Twin boys. They're going to drive their father crazy."

She barely had any time to greet her child properly, a mere 'hello, my sweet,' before the nurse handed him over to the paediatrician for further examination and he was whisked away from the room.

"We're sending him to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit because he was born premature. He'll be with his brother."

Dr. Bell was still working on her, stitching the cut back layer by layer as the nurse continued to explain things further to the exhausted woman.

"After the surgery, you'll be sent to the recovery room. We'll inform your husband so he can be with you."

"When will I get to see my babies?"

"Not for another twelve hours, I'm afraid. You're not allowed to walk before then and once you're allowed to move around, you may visit them at the NICU."

The nurse was about to turn away when Effie thought to ask. "How far apart are they?"

"19 minutes."

XxX

There was a flurry of activities in the room, not that Haymitch paid much attention to what was going on around him other than the rise and fall of Tristan's chest. Never in his life had he given a baby that much thought like he had with Tristan.

News of birth in the district hardly garnered any reaction from him other than that the child's name would be in the reaping bowl in twelve years' time. It was different now; there were no more Games which meant that the child's life had not been doomed from the moment of birth. But most importantly, it was different now because the one who had just been born was his child, his son. So, of course he was enraptured, and of course, he would pay attention to this child and ignore everything else.

Haymitch never noticed the nurse approaching him until he felt her tapping his arm to get his attention.

"Mr Abernathy? Would you like to meet your son?"

There was a frown on his face as he tried to understand what the nurse was trying to tell him. He was with his son so he didn't quite comprehend it. Haymitch straightened up, extracting his hands out of the incubator to face the nurse.

"I'm sorry?"

"Your wife gave birth to another son. If you would like to meet him, come this way."

Haymitch stood rooted to the spot, not moving a single muscle.

"You're ah… You're telling me the twins are boys? As in… the second one is a boy? Just like this little guy over here?"

"Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying," the nurse smiled.

"And my wife? Effie… how is she?" he stared at the nurse intently.

"She should be at the recovery room. That's the procedure after surgery. You may wait for her at the recovery room if they haven't sent her down or you could greet your boy first before you meet your wife."

"I …" he chanced a glance towards Tristan. "I'll meet him first. Just give me a moment."

Turning once again towards Tristan, he slipped his hand inside the incubator and stroked the top of the baby's head. "You have a younger brother, peanut. I'm gonna see him now and then I gotta go and make sure your mother's alright. I'll be back."

Nodding his head towards the nurse, Haymitch followed her as she led him to the incubator just next to where Tristan was. Just as it was with Tristan, this little child was sleeping, hooked up to monitoring machines and a breathing tube.

"Hey there…" he trailed off, taking in the pale blond hair and the same facial features that he had only seen seconds ago on Tristan.

 _Identical twins. How do I tell one from the other?_ Those thought ran through his mind, _g_ _ood luck to us, sweetheart._  He supposed Effie would be able to tell them apart. Haymitch had heard stories of how reliable a mother's instinct could be.

His eyes trailed over the boy's small form, pushing the blanket back a little to expose the skin underneath, searching for any distinctive mark that could set them apart. He found none on …

"Don't have a name yet, do you?" he muttered, slipping his hand through the hole in the incubator to touch the boy. "What's it going to be then?"

The boy uncurled his fist and Haymitch rested his pinky on the palm of his son's hand. He responded reflexively, the little fingers closed around his father's pinky and Haymitch smiled when he felt the grip the boy had on him; a tight, firm grip for a newborn.

"I know what to call you," he chuckled. "Saw it in your mother's book of names."

XxX

A quick check at the counter with one of the nurses on duty confirmed that Effie was already at the recovery room. He walked along the hallway and collapsed onto one of the many waiting chairs outside the recovery room. Haymitch needed a moment to himself before going in to see Effie. Propping his hand on the arm rest, Haymitch pressed his forehead into the palm of his hand and breathed deeply with his eyes closed.

He felt overwhelmed and he wasn't equipped to deal with himself or with everything that had happened. His first instinct was to leave the hospital to search for a bottle of whiskey or bourbon but he refrained from doing it. Effie needed him and he could not afford to show up drunk.

It was still difficult for him to grasp the fact that he was now a father. He wasn't a father the day before or even earlier today. That morning when he woke up, he was not responsible for two new lives. It was just him and Effie but now, he had a family to call his own; his wife and his two sons.  _His._

The emotional upheaval together with all the rushing and running he did to get from the Capitol to District Twelve was taking a toll on him but beneath that was a quiet sense of elation and pride and something else that he could not quite put a finger on which started the moment he first saw his son.

XxX

The last time he saw Effie lying in a hospital bed, she was in a coma in District Thirteen. He had sat vigil by her bed side for two weeks when the night fell, watching over her quietly even when the schedule on his wrist stated that he was supposed to be in his quarters. Effie never knew that and he didn't see the need to tell her. He heard that she had nearly lost her life and he didn't doubt that, not when she looked so gaunt and emaciated, buried beneath layers of white blanket.

Seeing her now reminded him of that time, the images flashing before his eyes cruelly and he was almost paralysed with fear until she blinked and opened her eyes, looking at him with a tired smile on her face.

He had never been so relieved.

"Haymitch," her lips parted as she tried to speak, her voice coming out in soft whispers.

"I'm here," Haymitch rushed to her side, stroking her hair comfortingly. "You look so tired and pale."

Her hair was spread over the pillow like a halo and despite how drained she appeared to him, Haymitch thought she had never been more beautiful than at that moment. He kept this to himself because it was not in his nature to say such things to her or to anyone for that matter.

"You try giving birth to twins, Haymitch, then we'll see if you're not tired," she teased.

"You did good, sweetheart. I'm…," he swallowed. He could tell her this at the very least. She deserved to hear it from him. After what she went through, he could afford this if nothing else. "I'm so proud of you, Effie."

Effie's lips quivered and her eyes watered when she heard those words. She turned her head slightly to the side, placing a kiss on the palm of his hand that was cupping her cheek.

"I'm happy, Haymitch, so very, very happy."

"I know," he nodded, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "I am, too."

"You are? You're happy?"

He paused. He was, he realised with a startling clarity. He was happy and he had not felt this way for so long he had forgotten what happiness felt like.

"You're here," he began. "You're alright and the twins… they're healthy despite your fibroids and complications and being born early.… that's all I wanted. For you and them to be safe."

At a loss for words, Effie nodded, the tears falling from her eyes and soaking the pillow underneath her head. Resting her hand on each side of his cheeks, she pulled him down gently towards her and lifted her head slightly to kiss him. She wished she wasn't crying because the kiss was wet and she wanted this moment to be perfect.

"Why are you crying, sweetheart?" he asked in between kisses. "You're not disappointed that they're not girls, are you? I know you wanted girls but -"

"No, no I'm just… happy. I'm overjoyed. People cry when they're happy."

"I never understand that," he deadpanned. Haymitch waited until she had wiped her tears and then, in a more serious note, he told her, "thank you, for being so strong."

XxX

Effie had scooted over, making just enough room for him to lie down next to her on the bed. He had obliged simply because he didn't want to aggravate her while she was in that situation.

"Did you see them both?" she asked, using his arm as a pillow, with her head tucked under his chin.

"Yeah, just before I came down to see you. They're next to each other."

Effie threaded their fingers together and she wouldn't let go of his hand, even though if he so much as moved, she would know being all pressed up against him. He knew she was afraid that if she let go, he would be gone and she would be left alone again. That was when the guilt returned.

"Effie, sweetheart, hey, I need you to listen to me, okay?"

She had nearly fallen asleep when he roused her, shaking her shoulders lightly. Her eyes fluttered open, brows crinkled as she forced herself to focus. She wanted nothing more than to sleep but he needed to do this.

"I know I made you a promise and I – I didn't keep it. If I knew you were in labour or that you were due to – "

"No, Haymitch," she interjected. "Nobody knew that I would be giving –"

"No, listen – listen to me. I wouldn't have gone to the Capitol," he insisted, desperate for her to understand. "I would have stayed here with you. I would be there when you gave birth but I wasn't. The point is… What I'm trying to say… I'm… I'm sorry."

And right before his eyes, as if his guilt had been transferred to her, Effie's face morphed into one of remorse.

"I should have let you be with me for the second one," she fretted. "I shouldn't have sent you away."

"You had a good reason. You didn't want him to be alone. I get it - it's fine."

Effie was quiet; the only indication to tell him that she was still awake was the way she fidgeted as she tried to find a comfortable spot in the small hospital bed.

"I wish we are at home, in our bed. It's so uncomfortable here."

"In a few days," he answered. "Are you still mad at me?"

"A little," she yawned sleepily. "You can make it up to me. How about you wake up at night for diaper change duties… for the next one month?"

"Diaper change duties?" he echoed, eyes widening slightly at how horrible it sounded. Not to mention outright disgusting.

"Yes. Haymitch? What did you name him?"

"It took you this long to finally ask that, eh?" he laughed into her hair. "I've been waitin' for this. Ethan."

"Ethan?" she repeated. "Ethan Abernathy. And his middle name?"

"Oh, for goodness sake, Effie!"

She pulled back slightly to look at him, a frown marring her face. He saw her lips parted but whatever she wanted to say, it was interrupted by a knock on the door.

The woman who stepped into the room wasn't a nurse but she wore the uniform of the hospital in District Twelve which meant that she was one of the support staff here.

"I'm sorry to interrupt. I'm here to remind you that you are mandated by law to report the birth of your children. If you have not thought of names, that's fine. You can amend the report at a later time to include their names within one month from their birth. But you are to report their birth within twenty four hours so the information could be catalogued by the necessary government body. Once a report has been lodged, you will receive a birth certificate for your child where it will be stated that they were born under the marriage law."

"Is that truly necessary? The bit about being born under this law?" Haymitch asked, the irritation was clear in his voice.

"Yes. That is how they keep track of the number of babies born per month and the rate of birth since the law came into effect. Once reported, you will also receive a maternity package from the Government."

"A what?" Effie queried. "I'm sorry, what was that?"

"A maternity package. It's a …. Let's just consider that as a gift from the Government, if you will."

"Ah, a thank you gift for a job well done?" Haymitch quipped, snidely. "Very well, then, is that all?"

The woman nodded, leaving two packs containing the registry form on the table before leaving.

"Are you going to fill that up?" Effie asked. "It says here the registration counter's open twenty fours daily."

"No. Not tonight. I'll do it tomorrow. Report within twenty fours be damned," he snorted. "Let them wait. Go to sleep, Effs. We'll see the children tomorrow."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I was writing this, I've been getting reviews and asks about the gender, with most wanting girls and a handful wanting boys. I noticed people often write them as having a baby girl in this fandom and I think it's cute to see Haymitch dealing with a girl but I also think a boy will drive them both nuts, especially two boys. I hope you're not too disappointed and I'm sorry, if you were expecting the twins to be a boy and a girl.
> 
> There's a bit of history here in this chapter which I felt was appropriate to weave into the story at this point. We still don't know what happened to Effie in that prison, but at least you know it's bad. ;)
> 
> I really, really did enjoy writing this chapter so I hope you like it as well. Please leave a review. In the next chapter, hayffie will talk about the names!


	38. Chapter 38

Effie was determined to see the twins that day. She was allowed to walk which she did, slowly and carefully while holding on to his hand. He was hesitant about having her being so mobile, afraid that the stitches may come undone but Effie silenced him by having a nurse explained to him her current situation. Satisfied, Haymitch conceded and brought her to the NICU to see the twins.

"Did they recognise you?" she asked as he pushed her down the hallway in the wheelchair.

Haymitch shrugged in reply. "I don't know. Maybe it's you they'd recognise. You talk to them often when they're in your womb."

For some reasons he couldn't fathom, Effie appeared nervous. She wrung her hands together and bounced her legs while they waited for the elevator.

"You okay?" he asked, laying a comforting hand on her shoulder. "It'll be fine, Effie. They're your children."

"I just… I can't believe I'm finally going to be able to see them. I've waited for this day for months."

He shook his head at her antics. It was different for her as it was for him. She waited for their arrival anxiously and looked forward to meeting them, the children she had carried inside of her and bonded with even while they were still in her womb.

Haymitch was at the other end of the spectrum. While it was true he couldn't wait for Effie's pregnancy to end because he didn't think he could sit through her nausea or her cravings or her mood swings any longer, he had not been that excited over prospect of meeting the babies unlike Effie. He wasn't quite ready to be a father despite knowing for months that that was exactly what he would be once the twins were born. Haymitch wasn't sure he was fully prepared to welcome two new lives into his own.

But he had visited the twins again that morning and he had watched them sleep, breathing and alive and he wondered why he had not wanted to meet them. His children were, as cliché as it sounded to him, a miracle. Miracles that were currently hooked on wires and machines meant to support them as their brave little souls fought to live. So eager to see the world that they couldn't wait for the full nine months.

He found himself curious to know how they would be when they grow up, their behaviour and characteristics. Haymitch wondered if they would take after him or Effie, if they would get along well with each other or if they would bicker the way Johanna and Felix often did. He thought of Finn and how the boy had been excited to meet the twins so that he had someone to play with.

 _These are my children,_  he found himself thinking for the hundredth time since Effie gave birth to them the day before.  _I'm a father._

"I'm a father," he had said out loud, testing the words on his tongue; odd and foreign though it may be, it felt quite right in a strange way. "I'm your father."

Tristan had shifted in his incubator, raising his hand towards Haymitch unconsciously.

"I'll be back, kid," he had murmured. "I'm off to see Effie… your mother, I mean."

XxX

"That's them," he pointed towards the end of the ward.

"Hurry, I can't wait," she urged and he obliged, pushing the wheelchair a little faster.

It was not in his nature to fuss over anyone but he had enough common sense to ensure that Effie would be comfortable while she was there. She, on the other hand, was making it difficult for him when she wouldn't keep still, craning her neck to look at the twins and not fully cooperating with him while he was transferring her to the chair.

"Goodness, Haymitch, there's really two of them. It's unbelievable," she breathed out in amazement the moment she saw them next to each other in their own individual incubator. "Look at them. Oh, they're mine, my boys. I created them."

"Yes, you did," he huffed, pushing the wheelchair aside once Effie had settled down. "Because, of course, you reproduce asexually, am I right? How could anyone even question that?"

Haymitch suppressed the urge to roll his eyes, throwing a blanket over her legs before settling down next to her.

"That's my breast milk," she pointed out when the nurses approached the twins with a bottle each.

"Ummm," he swallowed. "That's a… good?"

"I wish I could breast feed them."

Effie sounded upset and he didn't blame her. Because of how early they were, Effie was not yet able to feed them. The twins would be fed through a tube until they could suck and swallow properly.

"I've never seen them awake," Haymitch informed her. "Is it normal for babies to sleep this much?"

"It is, apparently. I was told that they would be a little less responsive because they're only 34 weeks old. Look at our boys, Haymitch, they're so tiny. And they're so much alike! How do we tell them apart? This is going to be a real problem, I can already picture it! But that aside, aren't they the cutest?" Effie cooed and smiled up at him, not realising that she was giving him a headache simply trying to keep up with her train of thoughts.

He squinted and tried to see them the way Effie did but it was a vain effort. Haymitch didn't really understand nor could he see any part of them which would make them cute, as Effie put it. Like, Prim, he thought they were squishy and fragile. There was nothing cute about them, unfortunately, not to him.

 _Perhaps when they're slightly older_ , he tried to convince himself.

Haymitch was saved from having to answer when Effie spoke.

"I wonder whose eyes they took after. They've already have my hair."

"And your nose," he chimed,

"And my nose, yes," Effie nodded, resting her head on his shoulder.

"Proud of that, aren't you?" he teased, encircling her in his arm.

Her voice was smug when she answered, "obviously."

It was peaceful in that ward, the only sound was the beeping and whirling of the machine, and if Haymitch paid careful attention, he could even hear the sound of the twins breathing through their tube. Time seemed to melt into the background, immaterial at the moment. Haymitch felt himself drifting, lulled into state of semi-wakefulness.

It didn't last long because he was startled by the sudden sharp cry that pierced the silence like a knife. One of them was crying.

"That's Ethan," he remarked after locating the source of the racket. "That's a hell of a cry. You son's living up to his name."

Effie scooted to the edge of her seat and slipped her hand in to soothe her son. It disturbed her that she couldn't carry him but she tried not to let it bother her.

"What do you mean?" she queried. "The name."

This was the first time that he had encountered his son crying and frankly, he wasn't quite sure what he could do to help, not when the child was in the incubator and he was out here.

"Saw it in that book of yours that the name meant firm and strong."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I think it meant enduring, too. I can't remember now."

"How did you settle for that name? You never told me you've been thinking of that name at all."

"I wasn't. Told you I was gonna winged it, see the situation and see what fits. You remember?" He paused and when she nodded, Haymitch continued. "He gripped my finger," he said, raising the very finger Ethan had held on to, "a strong grip for someone so tiny. That's how. It sort of fit – Ethan."

"Oh, well it suits him," she smiled.

"Yeah, better than the alternative, anyway," he added as an afterthought, eyeing her out of the corner of his eyes.

"What was the alternative?"

Haymitch smirked. He was counting on her to ask and he knew she would ask.

 _This was going to be good_ , he thought gleefully.

"I thought of Icarus," Haymitch shrugged nonchalantly.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Icarus," he repeated slowly, enunciating every syllable carefully. "You know, the one that flew –"

"Haymitch Abernathy!" she hissed. "I cannot believe you! Icarus isn't very popular is it?"

"I wasn't aware that the name has to be popular," he snorted.

His shoulders had started to shake as the laughter trickled out of him. Haymitch pressed his lips together trying hard not to laugh out loud but the look on Effie's face was priceless. She glowered at him and the laugh escaped his throat, earning a reproachful glare from one of the nurses on duty. That was exactly how he had expected Effie to react.

"It means to follow and honestly, Haymitch, I don't want my son to follow blindly without question," she told him, shuddering slightly. "It's enough that I went through that growing up with President Snow and his Games."

Haymitch nodded; his eyes bright and alive with amusement.

"But have you considered that Icarus was ambitious?" he asked her earnestly. "That's a good trait if you –"

"Haymitch!"

He raised both hands and backed off. "Alright, alright. It was a joke. I just wanted to see your reaction to it. I wasn't going to name him that. Icarus was a boy who didn't listen to his father and I wasn't … Nomen est omen, right?" he quirked an eyebrow. "See, sweetheart, I do pay attention whenever you tell me something."

"Not always," she retorted, shaking her head at him. "Sometimes I think your teasing will be the death of me."

He leaned back into the chair, watching her continue to stroke Ethan's hair soothingly. The infant's cry had wind down to a soft whimper and then, he opened his eyes, blinking up at his mother.

"Oh! Oh! Haymitch, come here. Come and look at him. He's awake."

Pushing himself off the chair, Haymitch walked around towards the other side of the incubator, directly across from Effie and peered inside to see what had made her so excited. He met a sight he had never once considered.

A pair of unfocused, glazy, silvery grey eyes looked back up at him.

"Well, well, will you look at that? Guess, he's not all yours. Didn't reproduce asexually after all."

Haymitch looked at her smugly and she stared at him in return. Effie tried to maintain a straight unimpressed look but she couldn't help the smile breaking out of her face as she laughed quietly.

"Oh, don't tease, Haymitch," she said. "He's got your eyes. He's got such beautiful eyes. The girls would be running after him, don't you think?"

"A bit too early for that, but sure, if he is anything like his father, yes he would have to find a way to politely turn those girls down."

"You're in a mood," she commented, giving him a curious look.

Haymitch had no answer to that. What could he possibly say, anyway? For once in his life, he didn't feel so troubled or weighed down or broken. He felt… He didn't quite know how he felt but it was good enough to send him into that rare state where he could joke and tease his wife. It felt like old times, back when they were working together.

"You're a handsome boy, aren't you?" she cooed. "Hello, Ethan. Hello, my sweet little sunshine. I'm your mother. It's so nice to finally meet you. You recognize my voice, don't you? You're such a darling. He's an angel, Haymitch."

In a few months' time, as he grew into a toddler, Haymitch came to realise that 'angel' was not exactly a word he would use to describe his son.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The explanation for Tristan's name will be in the next chapter. On another note, I've never met anyone by the name of Icarus before but if that is your name or if you know anyone by that name, personally, I think Icarus is a nice name but just not something Hayffie would name their child, i guess.


	39. Chapter 39

Phone calls.

Haymitch had not factored in the phone calls, had not consider it as part of something he was supposed to do after Effie had given birth. Yet, here he was spending the better part of his afternoon on the phone as he kept a watchful eye on Effie who was attempting but failing to finish up the food.

"It's so bland, Haymitch," she complained as he dialled Annie's number.

"It's hospital food. What do you expect?" he muttered.

"Can't you make a run to town? Get me something else?"

"No," he answered, cradling the phone between his shoulder and ear. He ignored the face she made. "Now finish it up and don't waste – yes, hello, Annie. Effie gave birth yesterday morning."

Johanna wasn't even trying to be subtle. Haymitch could hear her breathing on the phone as she once again listened in to the conversation on the other extension, occasionally interrupting his conversation with Annie with questions of her own.

"So which one's your favourite son so far?" she teased.

"That's not a fair question, Mason," he retorted. "I'd like to think I'll treat them equally."

"I bet it's that boy… Ethan, was it? The one you named."

"Leave him alone, Johanna," Annie quipped. "Haymitch, you probably have several other people to call. I could call Beetee if you like - tell him the good news."

Next, he called Plutarch to update him on Effie's situation. As much as he wanted to ask about the meeting – if Plutarch spoke on his behalf or if the meeting was postponed – he didn't. There would be time for the law later. He didn't want to think about it at the moment, not with his wife on the hospital bed next to him only just having gone through child birth and surgery and gifting him with two sons. Plutarch to his credit, did not mention about it at all instead, he highlighted a different issue altogether.

"The media, the paparazzi," Plutarch began.

"Dammit. What about them?"

"Address them. The same way Katniss and Peeta did when their daughter was born. Give them what they want – a statement or some details. Let them take a picture of your boys. Let them publish it just this once or they'll keep coming round to your place until they get it."

"A statement, maybe, but not their pictures. That, I am not willing to give."

"Sure, I understand. It'll be good, Haymitch. Show them that some good could come out of the law. Boost their morale a little."

"No, don't talk about it," Haymitch shook his head. Next to him, Effie eyed him curiously. "I'll call you when we're ready and you set it up. I need to run this by Effie first."

Finally, Haymitch made the phone call he knew required his utmost patience. Haymitch called Felix. He was convinced that man had been waiting by his phone all day because Felix picked it up after the first ring.

"I have been waiting all day for this call, Haymitch Abernathy," he exclaimed, confirming Haymitch's suspicions. "It's a good thing you're handsome or I will not forgive this transgression."

"You need to stop calling me – never mind," he sighed. "What gender did you bet on again?"

"Girls," Felix answered.

"Alright, you owe me a bottle of the Capitol's finest wine."

"Boys?" Felix screeched.

"Haymitch!" Effie exclaimed. "You were betting on their gender? That was so … so…. Unbelievable."

"Yeah, twin boys, a little early but healthy otherwise," Haymitch informed him, turning a deaf ear to Effie. "Both mother and sons are healthy. I have been with Effie all these while so excuse me, if my priority wasn't to call you."

"That's fine but I have a bone to pick with you, mister. You didn't even call to tell me she was in labour _and_  you happened to be at the Capitol at that time! I could have gone to Twelve with you. Did you know who told me? Johanna Mason. I thought I must have been dreaming when I heard that frightful woman's voice on my phone."

"You understand that you're not always at the forefront of my mind? I have other things to worry about other than whether or not I should inform you about – "

"She's my cousin."

"She's my wife," the words spilled out of his lips almost naturally. "Listen, I called to tell you that they're boys and healthy and Effie said hello. I'm saying goodbye."

"No, wait just a minute, good sir. It just occurred to me; it finally sunk in that they're boys! Boys!" Felix emitted a delighted squeal. "I would have to sign them up for a membership at the boutique I frequent! I wonder if there's a minimum age requirement. Anyway, my nephews would be beautiful! Now you understand that we're not like before but we still do take our clothing seriously. I would wrap them in leather and silk and -"

"You will do no such thing," Haymitch interrupted.

Effie had shuffled out of her hospital room, mouthing to him that she was going to take a walk down the corridor and circulate the blood in her legs.

Apart from a disgruntled harrumph, Felix did not pursue the topic for which Haymitch was glad.

"What are my darling little nephews called? I can't wait to visit! I'll be there this weekend."

"One's called Ethan. She named the other boy Tristan. And not this weekend, Felix, let her rest."

"Oh, very well. On another note, it is truly delightful to hear you speak of naming your sons as though you've both just adopted two kittens and decided that one should name each."

"Your sarcasm is duly noted," Haymitch acknowledge, pinching the bridge of his nose. He wanted nothing more than to hang up on Felix but he had become more than just this pesky, annoying person that Haymitch first met. For all of his peculiar and bizarre manner, Felix had shown that he could be trusted and unlike his brother, he had never meant any harm to either Haymitch or Effie.

"Tristan," Felix repeated the name. "That sounds strangely familiar."

Haymitch stiffened.

"Oh no, no, you're not telling me she named my son after some distant cousin or uncle or something equally undesirable."

"Excuse me, I resent that!" Felix snapped. "Tristan… hmmm."

Haymitch snickered but deep down, he felt the cold ice dread spreading through him. He wasn't quite sure if he wanted to know the history behind the name or Effie's motivation for it.

"Oh! I know! No wonder it sounded so familiar. I think she named him after the protagonist… the hero in a tragic romance tale. It's the story our grandmother used tell us when we were children. Have you heard of it? The story of Tristan."

There was a pregnant pause as Haymitch's mind slowly internalise the information.  _A story._

"A hero… what was that you say?" he asked. "A tragic…what?"

Felix was quiet on the phone. The situation suddenly felt tense and Felix sensed it.

"Well, I could be wrong," he added hastily. "I'm certain I'm wrong. It's probably an entirely different reason."

XxX

Haymitch debated with himself whether or not to ask her. It bothered him. Not knowing. Convinced that he deserve to know, Haymitch decided to ask her. After all, he told her about Ethan. He just needed to find the appropriate time.

Haymitch broached the subject the next night when Dr. Bell declared Effie fit to be discharged the following morning.

He lounged on the chair, flipping through the birth registration pack. 48 hours had long passed and Haymitch had not registered their births much to Effie's chagrin.

"Who is Tristan?" Haymitch asked casually, filling up the form and eyeing her out of the corner of his eyes.

Effie tore her gaze away from the book she was reading and frowned at him. "Our son?"

"And was our son named after someone?"

Her eyes flashed briefly to meet his. "No. What makes you even – "

"No? How about from a story?"

Effie must have sensed that he had her cornered. She closed her book and kept it aside before turning to face him.

"Perhaps I did," she said. "Named him after someone… from a tale… but only because the name reminded me of our situation. Did Felix tell you when you called him?"

Haymitch scowled, putting his pen down. The forms could wait. "This story… Wasn't it … It didn't end well, did it? It was tragic, that's what your cousin told me. I don't see anything tragic about us."

"You're not looking hard enough," she responded. "It's a story about love. He loved her."

_Love?_

If it was about love then he didn't understand what that had to do with them. He wanted an explanation, not more questions.

"And that reminds you of us… how exactly?"

"What? Love? It doesn't," she shrugged. She fixed him with a look. Haymitch had a distinct impression that this was not something she wanted to talk about. How Effie could be deluded to thinking that he would not ask after the name was beyond him. Perhaps it was his laissez-faire attitude when it came to deciding their names.

"I don't understand why you're making such a big fuss over his name. It's done, though, isn't it?"

Yes, he decided. There was something that did not sit well. Haymitch became wary and alert.

"Look, sweetheart, I thought you place such high value on the meaning of a name. You're the one who told me to think about it carefully."

"I did and I still do think the appropriate name is important," she assured him. Haymitch raised an eyebrow, waiting for her to explain herself and knowing that he would not let the subject go, she conceded. "It was not so much the name as it was with the story and what I took out of it."

"Not helping, Effs."

"When my grandmother told me the story of Tristan and Isolde, I saw an honourable man. A man divided between the loyalty he had to his adopted father and the love he had for the woman. He sacrificed a life with her for his father. In a strange way, he reminded me of you. A little."

"I don't follow."

Effie lost him there. He didn't give up his life for the girl he loved. She was killed because of him and he certainly didn't do anything where love was concern out of loyalty for his father.

"You are honourable, you know? You wanted so much to do right by the people in this country that you're willing to sacrifice your family. Like Tristan – sacrifice."

"I'm not sacrificing -" Haymitch ran his hand through his hair. "So let me get this straight – you named our son after honour and sacrifice or because that person in your story reminded you of me? Either way it sounds terrible, Effie. What were you thinking?"

"No, Haymitch. You're not listening to me. It is a story about love, that's the central theme. I named him after that. It was just… the main character emulate certain virtues that reminded me of you, that's all."

"You named him after love?" he clarified.

"Yes."

"Why?" he choked out, the confusion still clouding his brain.

Whatever restraint Effie had was lost as her blue eyes darken at his question and she gave him the explanation grudgingly, an explanation she had wanted to keep to herself. Effie had never wanted him to know the reason for the name. He had never shown much interest in it before and she never thought he would ever be interested.

"Because love is clearly lacking in this marriage," she snapped. "And it may seem silly, Haymitch, to fill that void by naming my son after a love story but what else could I do? The story stayed with me. It reminded me of comfort and home, sitting by the fireplace and listening to my grandmother talk. It reminded me of a family that I once had. And my sons are my family now, Haymitch. You're my family, too."

His fingers dug into the arms of the chair. Haymitch clenched his jaw. He needed to get out. He couldn't sit here and listen to her talk about love and family and marriage.

He stayed, though. Haymitch sat frozen, incapable of moving even if he desperately wanted to.

_You're my family._

"I know this sounds delusional but I had dreams. And in one of those dreams, I wanted so much for someone to love me as fiercely as Tristan loved Isolde. The feeling intensified when I lost my sister, the only person to truly care for me," she said. "Yes, the story was one of a romantic tragedy but so is mine."

"Yours?" his voice thick, blanketed with a sudden fear of what was to come.

"Sometimes you love someone who doesn't love you in return and isn't that tragic in itself?" her lips quirked into a smile, a sad empty smile. "Just because you don't love me, doesn't mean that I don't love you. You're my friend and my husband and you are the last person I thought I'd marry. You weren't featured in any of my dreams of a man I'd fall in love with. So believe me when I say, you're the very last person I thought I'll love and the last person I thought I'll have children with."

Haymitch saw it, ridiculous as it would seem, the cracks in her heart. He felt her yearning, felt the quiet desperate need for him to fill the empty spaces in her soul and it decapitated him. He was not equipped to deal with such honest emotions. Haymitch wondered if it was too late to ask her to be quiet, to swallow her confession back. She wasn't supposed to fall in love with him, no less. It was a marriage none of them wanted and there was no room for love.

"But you are. You are that person. Like Tristan, he never ended up with the woman he loved and that's not so very different from me, is it? And that was what reminded me of our situation. Where would I be when you succeed in rescinding the law? But, before you get mad at me, I never named our son after such heartbreak. To me, Tristan means love. That's all there is. He means nothing else – just love. I love Tristan and Ethan, and I love their father. Whether or not you return my feelings is inconsequential because it isn't going to change anything. Just promise me one thing, Haymitch."

"Yes?"

"Promise me you would love your sons the way you could never love me. Love them the way you love Myra."

_Myra. Myra who was dead, the one I still dream of._

"Effie…" he swallowed. "I - You're making a mistake."

"So change his name," she answered tiredly, pulling the covers up and turning away from him. "Change his name to something you deemed fit, something else that doesn't scare you. Because that's what's going on isn't it, Haymitch? I think you're afraid. You hold on to your past because it's familiar. You hold on to it like a lifeline and if you let go, you'll drown. We're not going to drown you, you know."

Haymitch wasn't referring to the name. He was referring to what she just told him, her feelings for him. But how could he tell her that without completely shattering her.

"Better do it quick before the poor child get used to the name."


	40. Chapter 40

During the Rebellion, Haymitch had been a strategist and with that came his ability to compartmentalise major issues, separating and segregating them into manageable problems. Presently, his mind was doing the same. It was worrying that he seemed to have taken Effie's admission as a problem but he couldn't deal with it all at once so he had broken it down. First, his son's name and then he would think about Effie.

He trekked his way up to the NICU. This was an unconscious decision on his part but his mind knew better. He needed peace and it led him to the one place he didn't consider – his sons.

Haymitch sat quietly, his eyes fixed on Tristan. He had gotten used to the idea that his first born is called Tristan, even if he had only been born a few days before and Haymitch actually liked that name. Effie could have chosen something far more extravagant, something so impossible to pronounce, something that would have sounded so foreign in District Twelve but she hadn't. Instead, Effie had given a name that far surpassed his expectations and one that she had clearly put much thought into. He would not dishonour her choices. There was nothing wrong with the name.

Tristan moved in his incubator, his tiny hand poking out of the blue blanket and Haymitch moved to cover it. He stroked the boy's cheek.  _So innocent and vulnerable,_ the thought flashed in Haymitch's mind. His mother had named him after love. That child embodied something that Haymitch couldn't seem to give to Effie and carried with him his mother's quiet dreams. He wondered if it was fair for Effie to impose such a thing on the boy.

_"Sometimes you love someone who doesn't love you in return and isn't that tragic in itself?"_

The words rang in his mind, loud and haunting in the silence of the hospital room. Haymitch moved towards the window, staring down at the empty road four floors down. He released a shallow breath. The glass pane misted and clouded very much like his thoughts, murky and unclear.

There was a time in his life when Effie had confused him with her excessive fashion before the Rebellion and obsessive preoccupation with manners and schedules but this one, being in love with him, seemed to top the list. He didn't quite understand how she could love him, how anyone could love him for that matter. He wasn't an easy man to deal with; a drunkard with terrible manners and sharp tongue.

 _And a murderer – icing on the cake,_  he thought grimly.

This was not something he could figure out, he realised as he walked back to Effie's room. Haymitch clenched his hand into a tight fist at that thought, dirty nails digging into his palm. It felt surreal. It felt foreign. And Haymitch was unsure of himself. It was very much like standing on thin ice and waiting for it to crack at any moment. Effie didn't expect him to reciprocate, that much was clear and that in itself made his stomach turned. How could she not expect something from him? Everybody wanted something. Quid pro quo – that has always been the way with the world.

Then it came to him. He heard her voice in his head, repeating the words she had told him earlier.

_"Promise me you would love your sons the way you could never love me."_

That was it. A simple request.

His gaze was drawn to the form huddled on the bed, asleep and unaware of the storm raging in his head. His mind retraced the day when she gave birth to the twins. He had squeezed into that tiny bed and held her close to him because she had asked him to. He had done that for her. He had rushed down to the hospital from the Capitol. He had … he had done a lot of things. And they had gone through a lot of things together but did that equate to love? Had he done all that because some part of him loves her?

 _No,_  he frowned.

They are married and as her husband, it fell to him to protect her. He did what he did to keep her safe and made sure she was cared for. Caring was not synonymous to love, surely?

Haymitch visualized her out of the context of the hospital and speculated to himself, wondering if she would have admitted the same. If she had not just given birth, would she have sought his comfort and confessed the things she did? Had she done all that because she was under the influence of medications and antibiotics?

The more he rationalised and provided the narrative to support his speculation, the more firmly he began to believe that Effie was misguided in her feelings. Crossing the room, he lowered himself into the seat next to her bed. Effie would not have said all that nor would she be so needy as have him close to her all the time. Transference – it was something he had read about once.

_"I love Tristan and Ethan, and I love their father."_

She loves the twins and because she loves them, she thought she love him, too. It appeared to be a legitimate explanation to him. Effie must have expanded what she felt for the twins to encompass him. It followed that it would be unfair for him to prey on such delusion. It was the excitement of having the babies, he was sure that was all there was to it.

XxX

Haymitch slept very little. Years of fighting a losing battle with nightmares and resisting sleep had accustomed his body to having minimal slumber, and he was sure he would have little to no problem dealing with the twins when they start crying at odd hours of the night. He would be awake anyway. He would soon find out that he was wrong.

At the first appearance of daylight, Haymitch was already sitting on the chair perusing the forms he had cast aside previously. Effie was still asleep and usually, he would have left her alone but he needed her signature before the officials could process the form. He roused her gently and she signed the forms without much question, blue eyes heavy with sleep.

_How trusting. I could have made her sign any forms._

"The counters should be open in ten minutes," he glanced at the clock. "I'd rather be there before the queue starts to form."

"Alright. Should I start packing while you handle the registration?"

"If you're up to it, go ahead. Need my help? I could pack when I'm back," he offered.

"I'll do it," she told him. She shuffled slowly to the bathroom with Haymitch's help. "Have you thought of a name yet? For Tristan."

"Effie…" he started. "About that… I don't have – "

"I can go on from here, Haymitch. You better hurry before the counter opens," she said brusquely. With that, Effie shut the door with a soft click, leaving him staring at the patterns of the wood.

XxX

There was nobody at the registration centre on the first level of the hospital and he was first in line when it opened. The registration was over faster than he had anticipated, a few signatures here and there, and then he was told to wait as the birth certificates were generated.

He trailed a lone finger over every detail in both birth certificates, making sure that the twin's names were spelled correctly and that everything else was accurate. It wouldn't do for there to be any mistake. Effie would have his head for not being thorough. He paused over the time of birth, unsure if what was reflected on it was true.

_19 minutes apart. Really?_

He never knew that. He supposed he would just have to trust the hospital with that particular information. His finger hovered over a small section that contained his particulars.

**Father: Haymitch Abernathy**

His date of birth and his residential address was stated in the certificate along with Effie's.

It was official. In the eyes of the Government, he was now the father to these two boys. He had done it, completed what the law required him to do and by that extension he had fulfilled his duty to this country. That being said, he knew his responsibilities were far from over. It had only just begun.

Slipping the birth certificates back into the brown envelope, he went on a detour to the NICU before returning to Effie's room.

"Have they been registered?" she inquired.

"Yeah," he nodded, patting the brown folder. "There was a penalty fee because we registered them late. I settled that, don't worry."

"You," she jutted her chin towards him, "you registered them late."

He gave a nonchalant shrug. "Doesn't matter. They're in the system."

"That's it, then. Marriage law babies," she said bitterly.

He froze. His children would forever be known as such, as would hundreds of other children. Bile rose in his throat at the very thought. He didn't like this distinction at all. Haymitch frowned as he considered the possibilities that these children would most likely receive treatment that would set them apart from those whose parents married freely. There was already a policy in place providing education fund or government subsidy in a bid to ease the parents' financial constraint for children born out of this law. It would create a social divide which was not a good foundation for a country rising from a recent war.

Shoving that thought aside with a mental note to revisit this line of thought at a later time, his eyes swept across the room. It looked exactly the way it was when he left her an hour ago. Contrary to what Effie had said she would do, nothing had been packed. The bag sitting on her bed was still empty.

"Trouble packing, sweetheart?" he teased.

Effie sat at the edge of the bed, watching him quietly as he packed what little belonging she had in the room.

"I went to see them at the NICU while you were away. Can't we bring them home with us?"

He sighed. "Not today, Effie."

"But they're off the breathing tube," she countered.

The boys were able to breathe on their own, something that filled his heart with a little pride when he found out. Haymitch had seen them without the tube when he swung by after the registration.

"I know but one thing at a time, okay? First their breathing then there's their feeding. You know this, Effie," he said. "The nurse told me that they could probably be discharged in two days' time… tomorrow if we're lucky," he tried to placate her. "We'll go home in the meantime and make sure everything's ready for them."

"It's not right to leave our babies here, Haymitch. What if they need us?"

"They'll be alright. They were born early - they need to be observed."

Haymitch handed her the brown envelope knowing that she would be preoccupied with the certificates while he settle her discharge form. Since his attention was not focused on her, Haymitch was startled when she turned him around, wound her arms around his midsection and buried her face in his chest.

"You kept his name - Tristan. You kept it."

His thumb brushed soothingly against her hip bone.

"If you had read the forms before you signed it, you would know that was the name I filled in," he mumbled. "I wouldn't change his name, anyway. Nothing wrong with that name and I really didn't want to have to think of another."

He felt her nodding against his chest.

"I thought… that you hated… after what I said – "

"We had a deal," Haymitch interjected before she could bring the incident up. "You choose a name, I choose another. I don't… Tristan is a good name, Effie. I don't have a problem with it except maybe one."

Effie stiffened in his arms and pulled her head back to look at him.

"What is it?"

"The kids' names spell out your initials, doesn't it? E.T"

"No it doesn't," she shook her head vehemently at him.

He arched a questioning eyebrow. Of course it did, unless she had forgotten how to spell her own name.

"It's not Effie Trinket. It hasn't been for more than a year now."

Haymitch bit his tongue. Effie tended to say unexpected things that made his heart clenched, things that reminded him that they were more than just colleagues. It made him feel wretched because he should remember it but he didn't and it only reinforce her belief that he saw her as nothing more than just somebody he used to work with.

"No need to be jealous that their names didn't spell  _your_  initials," she chuckled.


	41. Chapter 41

Effie's discharge from the hospital was a quiet affair – the work of Plutarch Heavensbee – as all the staff involved in her welfare while she was hospitalised had managed to keep the date of Effie's discharge to themselves under strict orders from their superiors. The sun was high up in the sky and the grass was parched from the dry season in District Twelve when Effie and Haymitch left the hospital for home, glad that there were no reporters or cameras flashing in their faces.

This would not hold out for long and Haymitch realised it, too. It was only a matter of time before word would get out that Effie had given birth and with it, a fresh new set of horror would descend upon him. The press would flock to District Twelve for news. Haymitch and Effie were after all, amongst the first well-known, high-profile individuals to be married under the law and with him trying to actively repeal the law, it only added fuel to the flame – something the press would dredge up to the front page news over and over again. Here he was, a man who was against the law with children of his own, children born as a product of the very law he was trying to get stop. The press would eat that up.

He would need to have a word with Effie about this but in the meantime, he would savour this moment for as long as he could.

While Haymitch revelled and soaked the feeling of not having to fend off pesky, intrusive reporters, Effie seemed oblivious to this stroke of good fortune. In fact, she looked outright miserable.

"They'll be home with us before you know it," he tried, rubbing his hand up and down her arm soothingly.

Resting her head on his shoulder, they continued walking without breaking stride. "I know, but that doesn't make me feel any less wretched."

There was nothing he could say that would appease her so he remained quiet.

Once at home, Effie secluded herself in the room without even bothering to unpack her bag. He had no qualms with her keeping to herself since she was supposed to be resting from the surgery she had except Effie acted as though somebody had died and it grated on his nerves.

He noticed how her hand kept going to her belly, touching and pressing gingerly on it. She would blush whenever he caught her doing it.

"I've left a part of me behind," she muttered, turning away from him to stare out of the window. The cup of chamomile tea he had made for her remained untouched. "You seem perfectly fine with it."

"Because, unlike you, I know that they're being held in the hospital for their own good."

The grip she had on the window sill tightened but not once did she avert her gaze from the group of boys playing tag on the street just outside of Victor's Village. He supposed he should just add that to the list of things he should never have said to his wife.

"Don't you miss them?"

He almost didn't hear her, the words spoken so softly and hesitantly. The way she was looking at him suggested that there was more to that question than what it appeared to be on the surface.

She turned her body slightly so that she was leaning against the wall, watching him carefully from across the room. There was something deeper, something important that she needed to know from him but had wrapped it in a thin layer of innocent question; nuances and shades that hid the real truth. They were good at this game; years of practice evading the bugs in the Penthouse while they discussed the Rebellion had sharpened this ability.

Haymitch blinked slowly and regarded her carefully before he gave an answer to what she was really asking.

_Do you want them home?_

"The same way you do," he said.

It was a safe answer, in case, he misinterpreted it.

Her eyes flashed briefly in surprise. "Really?"

 _Your life won't be the same with them around the house,_  was what he got out of the second question.

"I don't doubt it. Do you?"

"No," she shook her head, turning back to the window. "I've never been so sure."

XxX

The darkness of the night melted, chased away by the sun filtering through the clouds, casting a streak of orange and pink glow across the sky.

Effie blinked sleepily and stretched her arms lazily over her head. The slight prickle at the site of the stitches served as a reminder of the surgery that she had only recently went through and brought her thoughts back to her children.

It was morning, and morning was good. The night had felt arduous and ridiculously time-consuming since all Effie wanted was for morning to come so she could go to the hospital and spend her day with her children again. Effie only managed to fall asleep when Haymitch climbed into bed in the wee hours of the morning and pulled her close to him, whispering in her ears all the troubles boys generally get themselves into in order to distract her. He was good at that, distracting her.

"Your apple tree might be a problem. I can already see one of them climbing that tree, falling off it and breaking a bone or two on the way down," he smiled into her hair.

"Should we cut the tree down?" she chewed her bottom lip worriedly. "Pity though, I was really hoping to see it bear fruits."

"No, sweetheart. Let it be. The boys will be fine."

"Who do you think?" she asked after a while as she turned around in his arms in order to face him, not that she could see much in the dark.

"My bet's on Ethan," Haymitch said. "But you never know."

Effie fell asleep listening to Haymitch talk about some of the things he had seen the boys his age got into while he was growing up in Twelve. He steered clear of tales concerning himself and as curious as she was to know more about his life growing up, she was not keen on spoiling the moment by her inquisitiveness. His stories lulled her to sleep until morning broke over.

"Wake up," she shook his shoulder, gently at first and then with a little bit more force. "Wake up, Haymitch, we need to see the boys. It's morning. We can visit them."

"It's too early, sweetheart," he mumbled sleepily. He shifted on the bed, sleeping on his stomach and turning his face away from her. "Visiting hours isn't until later. Go back to sleep."

He could not honestly expect her to do that when she was already a bundle of nerves anxiously looking forward to seeing her children. Effie leaned forward, brushing strands of his hair away from his face. She kissed his cheek, her breasts pressing on his shoulder blade.

"Go away," he muttered again, but she could see the hidden smile.

"No," she pressed a kiss to the sweet spot behind his ear lobe. "You wake up."

He turned then, lying on his back on the bed, his hands going to her waist. Over her nightgown, his thumb brushed lightly on the stitches, though Effie was sure he wasn't aware of it.

"It's still too early," he said again. He seemed to be repeating himself quite frequently that morning. "What do we do with all this time that we have?"

"Shower, for one," she told him seriously.

"I'm not particularly interested in that shower…. Unless…."

Effie laughed. "No," she shook her head. "The last time I showered with you, you impregnated me."

"Oh, was that my fault? Are you blaming me?" he teased. "After getting two handsome sons you're gonna pin – "

"No," she laughed lightly. "I'm just saying that I'm not ready to be pregnant again! Get up, Haymitch, come on."

He grumbled under his breath but nonetheless, made his way down to feed the geese, telling her to get ready for the hospital. She smiled to herself. If she had known it was that easy to wake him up, she would have sent someone to give him a good morning kiss all those years ago because it wouldn't have been proper to do it herself, obviously. Their relationship was strictly professional at that time even if she did entertain the thought of kissing him once or twice. He was brash and rude, raw around the edges and mostly trouble that it made her wonder what it was like to kiss him - a man from the District - but his constant jibe at her usually quickly doused that curiosity.

XxX

Mostly, in an attempt to kill time and to stop her from going stir crazy at home, Haymitch suggested that they have breakfast at Greasy Sae. It was such a rare and an unusual offer that Effie froze to study him, to make sure that he was still Haymitch Abernathy.

"Are you sure? You've never – "

He shrugged, feeling slightly uncomfortable under her scrutiny. It was just breakfast together in town, after all. There was nothing special about it, well, not to him at least. Besides, it was a perfect opportunity to discuss some matters with her and he hardly ever does anything without a good reason.

"A father now, are ye?" Greasy Sae asked loudly, shuffling over to them with their respective plates of breakfast.

"It would seem so," Haymitch nodded.

"He's helping you with the kids?" the old woman inquired. "Up at night with you, I hope and not snoring with his bottle."

Effie looked stricken at the sudden reminder that they never had the opportunity to be woken up by the children's cries yet.

"They're still at the hospital," Haymitch told her quietly, giving Effie a side long glance. "They were born early."

Greasy Sae seemed to understand and left them alone to attend to some other customers, not that there were many judging from how early it was.

"There's something I've been meaning to talk to you about," Haymitch said after Effie had calmed down.

She took her time seasoning her scrambled eggs with pepper and salt, and only then did she focus her attention on him. "What is it?"

Haymitch leaned forward slightly with his elbows resting on the table. "Remember when Prim was born? The kids brought her to the Hall where there were – "

"No," she shook her head. "We don't owe the press anything. They're our children, Haymitch, and I don't want them to appear in the papers."

"The boys don't have to be there. It could be just the two of us. We'll tell them that you've given birth to twin boys and that you want some privacy to spend time with the children. That's it. We don't have to tell them more than that."

Effie pierced Haymitch with a glare, unable to believe what she was hearing. "Do you really think they would respect our wishes? Plutarch can't control all the lenses in this country. And why are you so eager to speak to the reporters? I thought you hated them."

"He can't, I know that. But I think that it would be better to talk to them as quickly as possible; get rid of them."

For a woman who was good at handling herself in front of the cameras and dealing with the reporters eagerly to trying to capture pictures of him whenever Haymitch acted drunkenly at the Capitol, she was adamantly set against this idea. He didn't need to be a genius to figure out why. This time it was personal and this time, it was her maternal instinct speaking for her.

"You know we can never get rid of them. I don't want our children's pictures to be taken or published anywhere. I don't even think we should be doing this – speaking to the press. If we appear without the boys, they would find a way to get it still; they'd want pictures of the babies. If all appear together, they would still hound us for more pictures. They're persistent that way. Pictures sell, you know that."

He knew that but his plan was to stall the press from shadowing his family by giving what they want for now. He also knew that Effie was set in her ways and she would not change her mind.

"We're not obligated to do anything, just like how we're not obligated to announce this news to them either. If it's up to me, sweetheart, I'd rather not do it but if we don't, they'll just keep coming 'round and I don't want a situation where they're tailing you wherever you go just to get what they want."

Effie was quiet as she mulled over his words.

"I understand where you're coming from, Haymitch. But I'm just concern. I think you're forgetting who you are."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he frowned.

Her eyes darted away from him to the half-eaten plate of breakfast. She appeared restless all of sudden. The bell above the door rang loudly through the eatery, signalling the presence of a new customer which promptly received Effie's undivided attention. She was stalling.

"Effie?"

"Don't… Please don't take this the wrong way," she began. Her eyes pleaded with him to listen to her and to hold his temper in check. He nodded. "I would never bring this up but … it concerns the children, in a way."

"Go on, then. What is it about me that I seemed to have forgotten?"

"Haymitch, you've made enemies," Effie said in a single breath, "and you're making enemies even now. What if… we're putting the children in danger by letting the press run a picture of them? You were one of the figureheads in the Rebellion which made you partly responsible for changing the lifestyle and toppling the political structure that was in place. There are people in the Capitol who are not happy with those changes. And…"

Effie bit her lips, a clear sign that she was worried. She was concerned about how he would react to what she was about to tell him. Effie had never deigned to tell him this bit of her life before, preferring to let the past remain where it belonged – in the past. It was this same philosophy that made her kept the details of her imprisonment to herself even after he had asked her about it.

His frown deepened. Haymitch felt ill at ease at the mention of enemies and rebellion. This was not the kind of talk he was expecting to have with Effie when they left the house that morning.

"Your work with this law… what if you're making enemies out of this, too? Having our children's picture on the front page news would make them a target. Let's not forget my role in your Rebellion. I helped you. There are sympathisers to Snow's ruling, Haymitch. It never bother me that much because it was just us but it's no longer the case now, is it? We have to think of the children. If they want revenge, apart from Katniss and Peeta, you and I would be among the first that -"

Effie stopped abruptly. The scenario was too dreadful for her to consider and the relatively light conversation about the press was quickly turning dark. Haymitch clenched his fist. Her eyes flickered to it.

"I don't mean to bring it up," she whispered. Her hands shook when she reached out for her cup of coffee, sipping it quietly to calm her nerves.

Gently, Haymitch pried the cup out of her hand, settled it on the table and held her trembling hand in his own. "How'd you know all this, Effie? Who have you been talking to?"

If it was Plutarch, Haymitch vowed to have a word with that man. There was no need for Effie to concern herself with such things. She would only worry endlessly.

"About the sympathisers?" she asked.

Haymitch gave a curt nod. He gritted his teeth in an attempt to control his erratic heartbeat and the sudden spike of fear he felt at the thought of his family in danger.

 _Not again_.  _Never again._

"I had a life before I married you," she told him. "A life in the Capitol, post-rebellion. It wasn't exactly sunshine and roses, you know. I lived alone in my apartment and I get threats nearly every day – papers slipped into my mail box on good days or on bad days, I come home to find dead animals on my front door, sometimes paint splattered on my door."

"Why wasn't I aware of this?" his voice was taut.

"It wasn't any of your business, was it?" she gave him a tight lipped smile, remembering those times she struggled just to leave the house and worrying about her safety. "I didn't want to bother you with such trivialities. You had Katniss to worry about and I … Well, I was doing okay at the Capitol for the most part," she lied. "I told Plutarch about it and he made sure I wouldn't be in any danger. We think it's mostly harmless, a scare tactic just to frighten me. Besides, it wouldn't do to harm someone so closely associated to Katniss Everdeen, would it? Not when your side had won."

Haymitch struggled not slam his fist on the table in anger. Plutarch knew and had kept it to himself. That wasn't the most troubling bit. The manner, in which Effie was relaying the story to him, calm and collected, worried him the most. It was the tone of someone who had accepted her fate and knew that there was nothing she could do to change it.

"Elias made sure I was okay, too," he heard her say. "He called me every day and Felix made sure I was never alone whenever I had to leave the house. I think Felix was glad that I decided to move to Twelve with you after we got married but the threats had stopped by then."

"This went on for… how long exactly?"

"Not long - a year; a year and half maybe. It stopped even before the law came about. Plutarch thinks it was just a small group, powerless to do anything more than a few harmless threats. He assured me that the President is aware of it and that the government is keeping a close eye on any kind suspicious activities."

Haymitch nodded, slowly unclenching his fist to let the blood flow through it normally.

"They are monitoring the situation which was partly the reason why she visited us a few months ago. She asked me to stop with those interviews to the districts, remember? The Council pegged those interviews as suspicious."

Haymitch had never told her of the investigation they had launched on him and he saw no reason to divulge such information or the fact that her cousin was the one to tip the Council off. From what he gathered, Elias seemed to care about Effie, even if he was the one who was prepared to give Effie up to Klaus Adler. Who was he to judge? People care differently. Haymitch kept information from Effie to protect her. Elias thought his partner would be able to provide for Effie better than he could. Felix was someone with whom Effie could relate her old life in the Capitol with, and he indulged and accompanied her for shopping trips, the likes of which Haymitch could never bring himself to do.

These men in her life are all flawed but they all had one thing in common – they care about her.

"I supposed, we could issue a statement and let the press published it without us actually having to be present," Effie suggested, bring the discussion back to the issue at hand.

"It wouldn't make much of a difference," he pointed out. "What if they start to trail you?"

"That's not something that we could avoid. It will happen but it doesn't mean that I want to willingly step up in front of them and let my children be photographed."

He speared her bacon with his fork, helping her finish her breakfast, and chewed thoughtfully before he answered. "I'll tell Plutarch we're not speaking to them. The press be damned. When have I ever cared about them anyway?"

"Never," she laughed.

With breakfast done and the visiting hours only minutes away, Haymitch held the door open for Effie as she waved goodbye to Greasy Sae. They walked next to each other, her hand held loosely in his as they navigated through the crowds to the hospital.

"Felix wants to throw a party," Haymitch informed her, "here in Twelve. Told me to give him a suitable date."

"A party?" her face lighted up slightly before it fell. "But… We can't have a party without the babies. It has to be until they're home. What's a baby shower without the babies?"

"A shower," he joked only to have Effie glaring at him. "Anyway, yeah, the party… I could tell him that you're not up to it.

"Why wouldn't I be up to it?"

"You just had surgery and the twins are early. It's probably not a good idea, after all."

It was a long shot and it was clear that he was clutching at straws hoping that Effie would not agree to it. It was a misplaced wish because this was Effie. Unlike him, she was not averse to social gatherings. A party is right up her alley, especially, if it is to celebrate her sons.

"Don't be silly!" she tittered. "Back in the Capitol, a baby shower is a way to celebrate the birth of a child. It's also a way to inform everyone of the new addition to the family."

"That's… a bit showy, isn't it? Nobody likes a show-off and how do you even know if people are interested to meet the baby."

"Of course they want to meet the baby! It's a baby, for goodness sake," Effie narrowed her eyes at him suddenly and tilted her head to the side. "Don't try to wriggle out of this one, Haymitch."

"I'm not," he glowered. "I was just saying that given the circumstances it's probably not wise to tire yourself. You do have two infants to care for. We never have such parties here," he countered disapprovingly. "We can't afford to feed that many people."

Effie was quiet. There it was again, the glaring distinction of where they were from and the lives they used to lead. It was a trying period of adjustment not only for them, but for everyone who had married someone outside their own district with each party bringing in their own beliefs and practices into it. Fortunately for Haymitch, just like with the toasting ceremony, Effie was willing to learn and accept practices she was not familiar with. It was easier to deal with her conciliatory nature compared to when she was being outright stubborn. He probably shouldn't complain. He was aware of his own tenacious personality.

"What – What do you have here then? How do you celebrate the joyous occasion?"

"A small gathering, mostly," he shrugged her. "Usually something simple - the family members would visit the couple's house to meet the child. I remembered that from when my brother was born."

Haymitch could hear the gears turning in her head as she thought about it.

"We could have a small party," she tried to compromise. "Just people we know."

"You know a lot of people," he pointed out, not quite ready to give in.

"I used to," she answered. "Not anymore. It won't be like our wedding," she reassured him. "I won't invite my aunts that you could barely stand to be in the same room with."

They had arrived at the hospital lobby and he would rather not be discussing any of this while they visited the boys.

"Alright," he conceded amicably.

He supposed that it would be tolerable without her overbearing relatives at the baby shower except it wasn't her aunt that made the day unbearable for him. It was someone he never expected.


	42. Chapter 42

In the dead of night, the sky was clear and on the porch in Victor's Village, a lone man sat nursing his drink from a silver hip flask. The starlight twinkled in the distance, the moon was full and bright up in the sky, and if Effie was out on the porch with him, she would have marveled at the beauty the night had to offer but without her, it was quiet save for the sporadic hooting of an owl perched on Effie's apple tree. Still painfully sober, Haymitch only had one thought – his sons.

Effie was vocal about missing them and despite his outward appearance, he wanted them home, too. The constant trip to the hospital and having to deal with a moping wife was starting to wear him out.

He was still sitting on the wicker chair by the porch the next morning when the postman made his usual round. This time, he stopped by Haymitch's house with two medium sized boxes. Haymitch's initial thought was that Felix had sent more gifts from the Capitol but upon closer inspection, the official seal of the Department of Social and Family Affairs quickly put that notion to rest.

It was ironic how the maternity packages arrived before the boys were even home. Haymitch stacked them one on top of the other, carried them into the house and over to the nursery where Effie had spent the night curled on the armchair. One of the boy's blankets that they had brought home from the hospital in exchange for something new was pillowed under her head.

He brushed her hair back and she stirred at his touch, cracking an eye open to see him standing over her.

"You've never slept with one of my shirt as a pillow," he teased. "Should I be jealous?"

"That's because I put your shirt on," she yawned, covering her mouth daintily with her hand. "It smells like them."

Effie handed the blanket to him and he wondered if she meant for him to smell it. He took it from her and spread it over one of their cribs before gesturing to the parcels.

"Are those…" she looked at him questioningly, "the gifts?"

She managed to make the word sound twisted and undesirable, spitting it out like an insult. Haymitch nodded as he extracted his knife from his pocket, slitting the seal apart in a swift movement. Her gaze was on him instead of the parcels.

"What?"

"Are you…," Effie started. "You can't carry that knife with you or have it on you with the boys around the house. It's not safe."

"It won't hurt them. It'll be right here," he lifted his shirt up, tucked the knife on the waistband of his trousers. "Besides, they won't exactly be able to grab it."

"Not now, not yet but what about when they're older?" she countered, trying to reason with him.

A lock of his dirty blond hair fell into his eye, promptly swept away in an irritated gesture. Haymitch let out a sigh. Effie wouldn't understand. It was foolish to place such security and value on an inanimate object but his knife had been his companion far longer than the alcohol had been. He had accommodated to her request not to sleep with his knife when she was pregnant and Haymitch wasn't very sure what she expected out of him now. Was he supposed to keep it lock in a drawer, someplace the twins could never get to? It didn't feel safe.  _He_  didn't feel safe.

Haymitch smoothly deflected the attention off him, pulling out a random object from the box.

"Ah, look," he said, holding out a blue feeding bottle for Effie. She took it from him and turned it in her hands while Haymitch peered into the box. "I'm guessing it's a… baby starter kit."

It didn't take long for them to work through the contents of the two boxes individually - mittens, baby clothes, diapers, pacifiers - with Effie giving little comments here and there about them. It was only when Effie had begun to put them away into the appropriate drawers and cupboards that Haymitch remembered the two envelopes that came with the parcel, the edges wrinkled from where Haymitch had stuffed it into his pocket.

Passing them to Effie, Haymitch walked over to one of the cribs and ran his hand over the wood panels, gripping and shaking them slightly to ensure that they were sturdy. He did not want the crib to fall apart and injure the boys.

"It's the baby bonus scheme," Effie said, drawing his attention away from the crib. "It says here that we can collect the first cash gift at the Hall."

Haymitch scratched his cheek. This was not new information to him. Plutarch and himself knew of the scheme but had avoided discussing it in any of their appeals knowing that at the moment, the scheme was foolproof. It would not have been wise for them to vilify the scheme until they could identify real major issues with it. Haymitch was certain that a problem will soon emerge where the baby bonus is concern.

"There is a subsequent cash payout, isn't there? What… when they're three?"

"There's one now, at birth, followed by when they're six months old, at three years, at five and the final one will be when they turn seven," her eyes flickered up to him as she read it out. "An account will be set up for each of the boys – they will match every dollar that we save and the money can be used for anything the child needs; healthcare and education primarily – it's the growth account. It isn't bad, Haymitch. We should start saving and it'll double because the government will match whatever we save."

"They're that desperate to boost the population, aren't they?"

It was a rhetorical question, one that he was not expecting a response to. Haymitch scrunched his nose at a sudden thought; his lips parted slightly, ready to tell her what he was thinking but decided against it. There was no need for him to tell her of the bank account he had set up for the children in the Capitol when he was there during the first meeting with President Paylor.

XxX

It was natural the way she carried Ethan in her arms. Then again, she has had practice with the kids' little girl so he shouldn't really be surprised but it was different somehow, watching Effie with her own son. It brought something out in her; made her appeared softer and gentle, radiant in a way he couldn't put into words if he tried, and yet, he wouldn't cross her. There was a fierce protectiveness surrounding her that assured him of his untimely demise should he or anyone ever try to harm her children.

When she smiled up at him, her eyes compelling him to approach her, he did so without question. Effie leaned against him and it occurred to him just then that this was the happiest he had seen her since he brought her to the Capitol when she craved for strawberries. She cradled Ethan closer to her chest, kissing and nuzzling the boy's cheek every so often.

Despite being born one and a half weeks ago and having been transferred from the incubators to the cribs two days ago, Haymitch still had not held any of his sons in his arms. He was glad that they spent most of their time sleeping which gave Haymitch an excuse not to carry them and disrupt their sleep. But Ethan was awake and Effie was determined for Haymitch to stop toeing the line when it came to his children.

Effie turned slightly, holding out her arms to him. Her intention was clear. She wanted him to take Ethan from her but he took a step back instead.

"I think he likes being close to his mother," he reasoned.

"That he does but I should think he also wants his father to hold him. You'll have to sooner or later, Haymitch," Effie smiled encouragingly. "Here - it'll be okay. He's a good boy, an angel, there's nothing to be afraid of."

The sense of déjà vu washed over him. It had been that way with Prim and the girl had cried when he carried her.

"Be good for daddy," Effie whispered conspiratorially to Ethan. The boy blinked.

Haymitch did not move, standing still and as stiff as a board. He glanced down in his arms to see a pair of grey eyes looking back up at him. It was still slightly unfocused and he wondered if the boy could see him now that he was nearly two weeks old but Ethan started squirming then, having sensed his father's discomfort.

"I can't," he whispered hoarsely. It was the worst possible time for it to happen but the flashback in his mind terrified him – it was him carrying his younger brother over his shoulder, running around the house despite his mother's warning only to trip and sent his brother sprawling across the floor with a huge bruise on his head. "I'll hurt him."

"No, you won't," Effie laid a comforting hand on his upper arm. She was quick to calm Ethan down, stroking the boy's cheek with the back of her finger and cooing softly in his ears. It worked; the boy stretched lazily, his leg pressing against Haymitch's arm. It was only then that he dared to move, extracting a hand out from under the boy, allowing Ethan to curl his fingers around his own.

"You're doing fine," she assured him. She guided him slowly around the room, walking in circles and soon enough, Haymitch found himself unconsciously bouncing the infant quietly in his arms. "Look, you've put him to sleep," Effie pointed out.

He glanced down to see that Ethan had indeed gone back to sleep. There was a small proud smile on his face. "I did."

"See, you're not that bad. Congratulations," Effie laughed lightly, standing on tiptoes to press a chaste kiss to his lips. "Let's bring them home, Haymitch."

XxX

The empty space in the nursery where the twins' name was supposed to be was duly painted by Peeta who came over a few days before the boys were due to be released home. The wall mural of the four train cars were filled with each of the Abernathy's name.

"I'll paint another train car if there's another child on the way – no problem," Peeta winked.

"Thank you, Peeta. But not anytime soon," Effie said.

Haymitch grunted. "Not ever."

Effie shot him a dirty a look but Haymitch was saved by Prim trying desperately to reach out as far as she could to touch Tristan in the crib.

"Not yet, angel," Katniss said. "Don't wanna disturb his sleep, do we? How'd you tell them apart? It's hard to tell from their personalities when all they're doing right now is sleep and cry."

Haymitch shrugged. "Not so bad," he answered. Haymitch tilted Tristan's head gently to the side with a finger to show Katniss a mark just below the child's right collarbone. It looked strangely like a half crescent moon. "Tristan's got a birth mark."

"It'll get slightly easier when they're a little older. They'll have different personalities, preferences and behaviours, I'm sure," Effie added. She laughed then, glancing at Haymitch before turning back to Katniss. "Haymitch forbids me to dress them in matching outfit, said it's ridiculous. But I'm starting to think he's just worried he won't be able to tell who is who."

Haymitch scowled at her for making fun of him in front of the kids, prompting Peeta to change the subject.

"Heard there'll be a party," Peeta said cheerfully.

Effie nodded enthusiastically. "It won't be for a few more weeks until we've settled for a bit."

"Of course. I think I should start thinking of cake design for the party. My gift to you," he added quickly when he saw that Effie was about to protest. "I must admit, I am looking forward to meeting this cousin of yours – Felix?

Katniss raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Really?"

"Yes," Peeta replied pleasantly. "Haymitch told me about him when he sent you away to Four with this cousin in order to paint this room. I heard he couldn't get along with Johanna. Odd, isn't it? Men usually get along well with her. Anyway, that'll be exciting to see, when they're here."

Katniss and Effie threw Peeta a dirty a look, both remembering the incident in the lift during the Third Quarter Quell. Effie only knew about it in prison when Johanna herself had told her how she had stripped in front of them. She told Effie of their reactions and the look on their faces, describing as best as she could to try and jog Effie's memories of them. Effie remembered very well that day in that prison cell, starving and dehydrated, and repeating over and over again how their faces had begun to fade from her memories.

XxX

When the moon rose and night fell over District Twelve, a new set of worries descended upon the house. It was quiet and peaceful, with the boys asleep in their cribs. For the third time that night, Haymitch rounded up on Effie, asking the same question yet again.

"You sure it will be alright to leave them alone?" he whispered quietly. "One of us should probably stay here."

"Yes, Haymitch," Effie was patient with him, assuring him once more that there was nothing to worry about. She adjusted the baby speaker monitor that she had place near their cribs and pressed the other speaker into the palm of his hand. "If they cry, we'll hear."

Still, Haymitch left the door to their nursery slightly ajar, not all trusting Effie's fancy baby audio monitor.

"There's no need for this monitor," he muttered, climbing into bed and leaning his head on the headboard. "I can stay awake."

Effie fluffed her pillow, giving him an incredulous look. "How long are you planning on staying awake? Till they turn five? Till they're teenagers?"

He fixed her with a glare but Effie was unfazed. She draped her arm across his mid-section and rested her head on his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat which has always brought her comfort.

"You should try to get some sleep," Effie told him quietly. "They're just next door. You won't be getting much sleep from now so you should take what you can get."

He nodded distractedly, not that Effie could see him. His mind was elsewhere, thinking of the dreams he had been having lately. His fingers played with her hair, curling and uncurling around the soft locks.

"My nightmares are different lately…it has been for months," he hesitated. "Ever since you told me you were pregnant, I don't dream of  _them_  much."

Her breath hitched. Haymitch seldom, if ever, talked about the horrors that plagued his nights. She would tell him about her nightmares and what she saw but he would not talk about his. If Haymitch knew anything about her time in prison, it was from what little she told him about her nightmares. He, on the other hand, saw no real need to burden her with his own nightmares. Whatever she knew was from years of working with him and hearing him screaming for Maysilee, for Myra, for his mother and brother, and pleading with the dead tributes he couldn't save. From there, Effie came to the conclusion that Haymitch never left the Games, and that his nights were filled with the arena.

If he was talking about his nightmares now, Effie did not want to say the wrong things and have him shut her out again. Getting him to open up about himself was akin to waiting for the rain during a drought.

"What do you dream of?"

Haymitch glance at her briefly, stormy grey eyes meeting her calm blue ones. He swallowed thickly, his Adams' apple bobbing up and down.

"You," he said finally. "I dream of you, Tristan and Ethan."

"That's nice, Haymitch," she smiled.

"They're nightmares, sweetheart. They're never nice," he told her. "None of them are pleasant. I could never…. The dream changes - play out differently on days - but it always ended up the same."

His hands were shaking when he reached over to pull the drawer out, taking his silver flask from within. He uncapped it almost desperately, tipping it back and gulping down mouthfuls of whiskey, feeling the liquid burnt down his throat.

Effie said nothing, allowing him this moment but she pushed herself up, resting on her elbows and watched him carefully. When she felt that half the contents were gone, Effie gently laid her hand on his to take the flask away.

"You don't need this, Haymitch," she told him softly, "you have me."

"But I don't," he swallowed. "Not in my dreams. I lost everything like I've always have. You, the children, everyone."

"That's not true. They're just dreams. We're not going anywhere, I promise."

He gave her a tight smile.

"I mean you died," he said flatly. "Sometimes, I see you in the arena. You were beautiful, sweetheart. But I can't trust anything beautiful in the Games. You were a mutt – the same bird that killed Maysilee - and I killed you. I had to. And then you'll morph from the bird and into yourself, and you're shouting at me. Screaming and screaming because it's my fault you died and my fault the children are orphans."

"Haymitch, it's just a – "

"Yeah, yeah, they're not real," he nodded. "Go to sleep."

Effie wanted to say something, anything at all that could comfort him but the words were stuck in her throat. The moment passed and Haymitch retreated back into himself, pulling her to him. The way he was holding on to her, tight and snug against him, as if he was trying to ground himself to what was real, cracked her heart. She let it pass, not wanting to press him any further.

"You should sleep, too. If they wake up - "

"I'll wake you up, sweetheart."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know there isn't much going on for the past two chapters and that things are moving at a steady and slow pace but I promise that I have exciting things plan up for the upcoming chapters. I wanted to focus on the fact that these two characters have a traumatic past and that it is still affecting them on some levels. Anyway, there will be a bit of tension and drama in the next chapter.
> 
> And, I did not come up with that baby bonus scheme (i just changed the name). That scheme is in place where I am at because short of a marriage law, my government is desperately trying to encourage us to repopulate the country.


	43. Chapter 43

The weight of her head on his chest and the warmth radiating off her as Effie slept curled on his side was oddly reassuring to him. It reminded him that this was real but he was still afraid to close his eyes only to slip back into those nightmares. He had just brought the boys home. He was not prepared to watch them die in his sleep. His silver grey eyes gleamed in the darkness, his sight set on nothing in particular as his hand continued its repetitive movement of stroking her hair. It had a calming effect on him.

Despite his best efforts, he was losing his battle to stay awake, nodding off once in a while only to jerk upright moments before he could fall into a deep sleep. Even in his semi-conscious state, Haymitch still jumped in surprise when he heard the sharp cry of an infant through the audio monitor.

If his heart had not started racing at this sudden outcry, he would have laughed at Effie who, for all of her apparent calmness, had set the volume of the audio monitor to the maximum. She was probably worried that they might not be able to hear the children if it wasn't on maximum.  _Silly woman_ ,he shook his head.

Effie was already sitting on the bed, the covers pooled around her lap as she blinked up at Haymitch blearily.

"Stay there," he knelt with one leg on the bed. "I'll bring whoever it is who is crying over to you."

The crying grew louder and more urgent, and Haymitch hurried to the nursery to see to the impatient infant. Somehow, he wasn't really surprised to find out that it was Ethan with his face red and mouth wide open as his cries turned into a wail. He picked the child up from his crib but Ethan's sharp nails from his wandering hand scratched Haymitch lightly across his cheek, leaving red marks on it.

"Gotta do something about those nails, Eff," he muttered to himself. "Alright, tiger, I got you. Shush, don't wake your brother up."

Effie held out her hands to him once Haymitch returned to the bedroom. She had pushed the strap of her nightgown down even before Haymitch had returned. He carefully transferred him to Effie.

"Are you hungry, sweet angel?" Effie asked softly, accepting the pillow Haymitch slid under the boy for support as she fed him.

Haymitch hovered at the side of the bed mesmerized by the sight of her nursing Ethan. He had only seen Effie done it once at the hospital under the guidance of the nurse and he had been with Peeta earlier that day when she breastfed the twins. The boy was finally quiet, now that he has gotten what he was crying for.

"Don't hover, Haymitch, come sit next to me. What's wrong with your cheek?" she asked quietly when she saw him rubbing it.

He jerked his chin towards Ethan, climbing over the bed to sit next to Effie and draped his arm across her shoulder. "Boy thinks he is some kind of cat."

Effie had just gotten comfortable, snuggling up to him and leaning her head on his shoulder as Ethan continued to nurse when the audio monitor lighted up again and they heard another cry. Haymitch couldn't help the grunt as he dropped his head on the crook of her shoulder.

"No," he muttered.

Effie chuckled. "Better get to him before he throws a tantrum like this one."

He stood by Tristan's crib, peering down at the infant curiously. Unlike his brother, Tristan's cries were softer, less… demanding which gave Haymitch the impression that he wasn't hungry. He patted the boy awkwardly, hoping that it would soothe him and put him back to sleep. Haymitch had seen Katniss and Peeta do the same to their girl and he had witnessed Annie putting Finn to sleep in the same manner, all to varying degree of success, but success nonetheless.

It proved to be different for him. Tristan continued to cry. For a brief moment, Haymitch was at a loss. Effie was still nursing Ethan which left him to care for Tristan at the moment and Haymitch wasn't sure what he could do to calm the child down but Tristan was crying and he couldn't just stand there without doing anything. He clenched his jaw, determined to overcome this petty problem. Haymitch lifted the infant from his crib and cradled the boy close to his chest.

As with Ethan, Haymitch brought Tristan over to their bedroom. Effie lifted her head up when he entered.

"Still nursing?" he asked, peering to look at Ethan's peaceful face. "You must be real hungry, tiger."

"Tiger?" Effie's eyes glittered in amusement.

"Scratched me across the cheek, didn't he?" he muttered. Haymitch walked in circles around the room, bouncing Tristan in his arms to soothe him. His crying had stopped but Haymitch could tell that the boy was restless, squirming and fidgeting even as he held him.

 _Do you want your mother?_ , he wondered.

Haymitch climbed into bed, still patting Tristan comfortingly. This was never the life he thought he would have. He had imagined it, perhaps, a long time ago with Myra but his life had taken such a drastic turn that it became a mere fantasy, something that could happen to any other men but him.

"Ethan's going to be done soon," Effie informed him quietly. "Can you burp him after and I'll take over Tristan?"

Haymitch nodded. He tried his best to keep Tristan quiet in the meantime but at four in the morning, Haymitch was worn out. All those effort he spent trying to stay awake was for naught. While waiting for Effie to finish with Ethan, Haymitch fell asleep on the bed with Tristan draped across his chest. The beating of his father's heart, the steady rise and fall of Haymitch's chest, the warmth and the sense of security lulled the fussy boy to sleep with his small legs dangling at his father's sides. Haymitch's large palm covered the boy's back protectively, holding him in place.

"You're going to spoil him, Haymitch," she whispered, even though he could probably not hear her. Haymitch was fast asleep, his breathing had evened out and he looked at ease. "He won't want to sleep in his crib anymore."

XxX

The summer heat and the presence of two newborns in their lives have kept Effie and Haymitch cooped at home for the past month since they brought the twins back from the hospital. At 6 weeks old, Haymitch could see them growing physically; their cheeks filling out slightly and there was a marked increase in their weight which he felt whenever he had to carry them.

He held a yawning Tristan in his arm as his mother dipped his tiny foot into blue paint and pressed it on a piece of paper. Effie held it up proudly for his inspection.

"There," she smiled, "his footprint at one month old."

"I think you're two weeks too late, sweetheart," he muttered.

Effie went over to the other side of the wall where Haymitch had put up the sonograms when he painted the room and hung it on one of the wooden pegs. She took in the sight of her boys from when they were still in her womb and then to Tristan in Haymitch's arms, and Ethan in his crib.

"Look at them," she breathed in wonderment. Effie, even after all this weeks, was still in awe and a state of disbelief that these are children. Hers.

Haymitch was still grappling with his new role as a father that he had little to no time to marvel much as he struggled to stand upright on his feet and instill some form of control over his life. The past one month had been a horrid blur to him. The sedentary lifestyle he led for years before this was proving to be an obstacle in itself - his sleeping pattern, if ever there was one, had always been erratic but with Tristan and Ethan, there seemed to be no sleep for him at all. Somewhere between the second and third week that they were home, Haymitch gave up trying to figure out what was going on with his life. He trained himself to move on autopilot whenever he heard a cry. They were either hungry or they needed a nappy change. For the umpteenth time, Haymitch wondered if it would be slightly easier if there was only one of them because each time one of them cries, the other twin would, too.

Katniss, whom he thought would understand his situation, took an awful lot of glee at his constant state of confusion.

"Need a mentor, Haymitch?" she snickered. "I'm sure Peeta would be more than happy to give a pointer or two."

The ship would have sunk had it not been for Effie. She captained her boys amazingly well and kept things in order. Effie was definitely coping better than he was - "I had to deal with you for years, Haymitch, you'd think I would be able to at least manage my children  _and_  their father" - or perhaps, she just worked well under pressure. The years she spent detailing everything into her schedule proved to be useful and Haymitch had never been so glad, though he kept that sentiment largely to himself. Effie carefully and methodically wrote down the times when she fed the children and the expected time of their next feeding so Haymitch would at least have a general sense of what was expected should they started crying since he could never seem to keep track if it was time to feed them or change their nappies or put them to sleep.

Not that he had ever changed their diapers before.

Despite having been assigned to diaper changing duties for missing out on Tristan's birth, Haymitch was fairly useless when it came to it and had relinquished the job to Effie while he stood at a safe distance to watch.

"You know, if there is a will, there is a way. You can learn how to change these," she lectured him, "you just don't want to get your hands dirty!"

Effie struggled with great difficulties at first, scrunching her nose and muttering to herself as she tried to figure out the proper work those diaper works but Effie proved to be a quick learner, and she had help in the form of Katniss and Peeta who tried their best to teach her all they knew.

XxX

The pressure of having two newborns in his house and the news he received from Plutarch drove Haymitch off the cliff.

Tristan and Ethan turned two months a few days prior. It was a day marked with Ethan vomiting on his shirt when he tried to burp the boy. He held the boy out, looking in distaste at the front of his shirt.

"Take him," Haymitch ordered.

It made Effie giggled which he thought was worth the mess but he wasn't going to tell her that. Not when she was gloating and asking him how it felt to be vomited on.

"I've never vomited on you before," he mumbled, pulling his shirt over his head. "What's your issue?"

"On a number of occasions actually but you were too drunk to remember it."

Haymitch had barely enough time to himself much less to devote it to the law which he had unintentionally cast aside in favour of his family. He could hardly recall saying yes to Plutarch when the man offered to step in his place so the meeting with the Council that was previously adjourned when Effie went into labour could go on. When the call came from Plutarch's office to inform him of the outcome of the second appeal, Haymitch was not prepared for the news.

Suffice to say, Haymitch flew into a rage when he was told that the Council had rejected it yet again.

"What's their fucking reason this time round?"

"Same as previously," Plutarch answered. "The end justifies the means, Haymitch. The birth rates are increasing and any social implications are trivial compared to the population boost. The law's sole objective is being met."

"But at what price?" he demanded angrily.

"Listen, we can appeal again. We can fight. But let's not talk about the law for now, go and be with your children. There'll be time for discussion. I will see you next week for the party."

Haymitch slammed the phone; his breathing was labored and his hands shook. His gaze fell on the papers scattered over the study table, months of careful planning and work, and the Council rejected it. He swept it all away and watched it fluttered to the floor.

He could hear the children's cry on the audio monitor but instead of the nursery, Haymitch stalked towards the opposite direction and stormed down to the cellar. It would be unwise to subject his children to his presence when he was angry. He had seen what anger could do, especially when it could not be controlled. Hadn't he suffered at times at the hands of his own father?

Effie had kept all of his supplies in the cellar. Haymitch grabbed a full bottle of clear liquid, uncorked it and gulped the contents down almost hungrily. The liquid dribbled down his chin, his shirt soaking it up and when he brought the bottle up, Haymitch realized that half of the content was gone. He had not drunk this much since the twins' arrival.

He felt defeated, somehow, a feeling he attributed to the Council's rejection but Haymitch knew that feeling stemmed from something else. While he had never promised to quit and Effie had never asked that of him, he had told her he would cut down on his drinking and he had been doing it, too. To consume half a bottle in less than an hour made him feel that he could never escape this vice and that he was racing back to the bottom.

Haymitch sagged to the floor of the cellar. He had already finished half of it, what was the point in stopping? He kept drinking, his throat burnt with the familiar sensation that he relished. The cellar was quiet and peaceful, so far removed from the commotion going on at the upper floor of the house. He was accustomed to the quiet and stillness, and up till that moment, Haymitch was not aware that he was longing for it. He brought the bottle to his lips, savouring the taste on his tongue.

Time became inconsequential as he lost himself to the alcohol. Vaguely, Haymitch was aware that someone was approaching. He could hear the soft, rapid footsteps making its way steadily towards him. She couldn't see him like this. The urgency roused him enough for him to lift his head up but it was too late. Effie was standing over him with her arms crossed defensively across her chest, her lips were pursed into an angry line and her eyes… they were the worst. The icy blue of her eyes glinted with fury and gleamed with disappointment. Haymitch tried to push himself up but his hand gave way and he ended up sprawled on the floor.

He felt pathetic.

"Sweetheart, I was - "

"I don't need your excuses," she snapped.

Haymitch blinked to clear his vision, only then noticing the bottles rolling on the floor next to his foot.

"You have to understand," he tried again. "The law … The Council didn't –"

Effie shook her head to silence him. "Clean yourself up, Haymitch. I have two children to look after by myself, I don't have time to baby you. And don't you dare come anywhere near them in that state."


	44. Chapter 44

Babied him?

_The nerve of her,_  he thought crossly. That was uncalled for.

Hadn't he spent the better part of his time for the past two months by her side helping her with the twins as best as he could? Was she going to conveniently cast that aside just because he was drunk this one time?

Haymitch felt slighted. A frown marred his face as he used the shelf in the cellar to pull himself up to his feet. He would have a word with her. She does not get to act all mighty as if she could do no wrong in this house. Haymitch staggered towards the door and carefully navigated his way up the stairs to the upper floor with his blurry eyesight. He could hear the children crying.

 _Shut up,_  he wanted to scream.  _Shut up. Shut up._

They have done nothing but cry since they were born and it was beginning to grate on his last nerves.

Somewhere at the back of his mind, he was aware that he was taking out his frustration with the law on to Effie and the boys but he was too intoxicated to stop himself.

He meandered towards the nursery, determined to get to the twins and put a stop to the racket. It hurts his ears, made him feel as if his ear drums might burst. Where was Effie? Couldn't she hear them crying?

"EFFIE!" he shouted, his words slurring together. "The children! Are you deaf, sweetheart?"

Haymitch rounded the corner and nearly collided into Peeta just as he stormed out of the nursery to get to him.

"Stop it," Peeta commanded. "Be quiet. You shouting like this isn't helping."

"What's going on?"

"I could ask you the same question," Peeta crossed his arms.

Haymitch sniffed and rubbed his blood-shot eyes with the back of his hands. He made to move past the boy but Peeta's hand was on his chest, stopping him and preventing him from going further.

"Don't," he shook his head. "Not when you're like this."

"Someone's crying," Haymitch countered.

"Effie is nursing one of them. Katniss got the other. You're no use to them when you're drunk."

Katniss emerged from the room just then to see what the commotion was about, holding a wailing infant in her arms. She looked distressed as the child continued to cry despite her efforts to calm him down. Haymitch couldn't tell who it was, not in this state, but all he knew was that he needed to get the child away from Katniss. He was certain that she was upsetting the baby. If he was sober, he would realise how ridiculous he sounded but everything appeared to be a threat to him at the moment, even Peeta's hand on his chest. He shoved it away.

Haymitch stumbled towards Katniss with his arms outstretched to take his son from her.

"Give him," he gestured, growling under his breath. "Pass him to me."

Katniss step aside, deftly avoiding his outstretched hands. "No. Have you seen the state you're in?"

"Haymitch, stop," Effie hissed, stepping out of the room looking livid. "You will stop it this instance. Katniss dear, please, could you take Ethan? I'll take Tristan from you – he's hungry. Peeta, please, please, take Haymitch out of here. I don't know what you can do with him but please, just away from the children."

Katniss and Peeta moved into action almost immediately. With Prim holding on to her hand, Katniss and Effie disappeared back into the nursery. Haymitch turned the knob, determined to follow but he found the door locked.

_Dammit, Effie!_

While he was distracted, Peeta moved quickly, grabbing a hold of his arm and dragging him out towards the front door.

"Unhand me, boy."

"Nope," he said. "You heard what Effie said."

XxX

Peeta sat him down in the living room of his house and took a seat across from him, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees as he waited Haymitch out patiently.

Haymitch breathed deeply, trying to get himself under control. He stared down at the young man, his face flushed and eyes glittering with anger. His head was throbbing and every little noise seemed to have been amplified somehow.

"You're not going anywhere," Peeta shrugged. "You might as well stop glaring at me as if I brought this on you."

No, he brought this on himself. He made Effie locked him out of the children's nursery. Haymitch slumped against the sofa as the fight left his body. He pinched the bridge of his nose.

"They rejected it."

"Your appeal?", asked Peeta with a note of surprise.

Haymitch nodded.

"I'm sorry to hear that," he went on. "But it's no excuse to –"

"I know," Haymitch growled. He didn't need to be lectured. "I know."

The house was quiet. Haymitch had his eyes closed, having covered it with his hands, his mind going through the scene at his house. Peeta studied him silently.

"Are you angry that you failed or are you mad because now you're going to be stuck with them?" Peeta jerked his head towards Haymitch's house. "Have you ever thought about what would happen to them if your appeal had not been rejected?"

Haymitch lowered his hand and narrowed his eyes at Peeta. "What are you accusing me of?"

Peeta shrugged. "Nothing in particular. Just that, I don't think you've properly considered how it would affect your -" he stopped abruptly. "Look, I know you've never wanted the pregnancy and that all along, your plan was to get the law repealed so you and Effie could go your separate ways. But things are different now. You have - "

"Don't you think I know that?" he snapped.

"Which leads me to think that you've gotten yourself drunk because you simply can't handle it; can't have the appeal rejected because that means you'd have to live with Effie and her children for an indefinite period of time. You don't want them, is that it?"

"Don't presume to know me," he snapped. Haymitch snorted then and looked at Peeta derisively. "Her children? They're my children, too."

"Good to know," Peeta nodded, moving towards the upper floor of his house. "You can stay here until you're sure you won't scare your kids or your wife. You may sleep on the couch."

"Fine," he muttered.

Peeta returned moments later with a piece of blanket, a pillow under his arm and a strong cup of black coffee. Haymitch nodded his thanks but said little else. The coffee had begun to clear his mind but just when he thought that years of being a drunkard and making a fool out of himself had thicken his skin, he found himself mortified even slightly embarrassed to be in this situation with Peeta. The boy was better at this while he… Well, to put it rather mildly, he felt like a drowning man. Haymitch was never designed for marriage or children. He was far too broken to have a normal family life. The Games made sure of that.

Haymitch's eyes flickered up to Peeta when he made no move to leave the miserable man alone. He looked down at Haymitch pensively, hesitating briefly.

"If you're going to take your anger out on them, send Effie and the twins back to the Capitol. They don't deserve to be punished by you that way. Now that you and Effie already have children, I don't think the government will be particularly bothered if you're not staying together. They have other couples to check on."

Peeta, Haymitch realized, was only trying to help. Not Haymitch in particular, but Effie who had been with him in that prison in the Capitol, a history that he knew little because Effie would not talk about her time as a prisoner.

"I'm not… I won't send her back. She's still my wife."

Even if Haymitch felt inadequate, lost and hopeless at this, he wanted to try. They are his responsibilities. When he dies, he wanted to be remembered for something. Being remembered as a father was better than the Victor who won the Second Quarter Quell. There is victory in that (he hopes) that the Quell had never brought him.

XxX

He could have used the time to catch up on his sleep but the silence of Peeta's house was not something he was used to. Haymitch tossed and turned on the couch, wondering if the children had gone to sleep. He thought of Effie, alone in their bed and he wanted her warmth. The room felt cold even with the blanket.

It was three in the morning when Haymitch had had enough and left Peeta's house for his own.

The nursery was quiet. Both boys were sleeping with Ethan snoring lightly. Effie was asleep with the audio monitor next to her on the pillow. Haymitch drew the covers back and slid in next to her, pulling her against him to bury his face in her hair. He felt her fingers stroking the arm across her stomach.

"Did I wake you?" he asked.

"Mhmmm."

"I'm sorry," he said softly. "I should never have -"

"You were horrible. What you did was wrong, Haymitch."

Her voice was gentle but firm, chastising him quietly without making a scene. Years ago, she would have handled it differently. He had never forgotten how incensed she had been when he cheered Katniss on for shooting an arrow at the Gamemakers.

"I know," he pressed a kiss to her temple. "You're angry with me."

Effie turned in his arms. "Of course, I am. You were rude to Katniss and to me. She was only trying to help me. You were always there to calm the boys down but it fell on her to do the job today. They may only be two months old, Haymitch, but they know she's not their father. It doesn't bring the same kind of comfort. You frightened off poor little Prim, too."

"I'll talk to them tomorrow," he tried to appease her.

"Well, that's only proper."

"They rejected the appeal," he told her abruptly, pulling away from her. "I got a call from Plutarch's office and I…."

Her eyes softened. Effie stroked his cheek soothingly. Months ago, he would have pushed her hand aside, not wanting her pity but the comfort she brought was something he welcomed now.

"I'm sorry, Haymitch. I know how much you wanted it to work."

"Yeah."

"You can appeal again, can't you?" she asked.

"Yes," he murmured, pressing another kiss on her brow. "It's going to work. It has to."

"It's just taking longer than expected," she nodded, turning away from him. The arm around her stomach tightened as he held her close. Effie let him as she stared absently at the moon outside their windows, appearing and disappearing from view whenever the curtains fluttered. She would never tell him about the twinge in her heart or the ache in her soul as Effie realized that Haymitch will never give this up. She shut her eyes, refusing to let the tears fall. "I'm still angry with you. You won't ever behave in that manner in front of the children. I won't allow it."

"Lock me in the cellar," he whispered, half mockingly. "Until I've sobered up."

 


	45. Chapter 45

"Your wine," Felix grinned at him, pressing the most expensive bottle of red wine he could find at the Capitol into Haymitch's hand. "For the bet I lost. Now, point me to my nephews."

Haymitch inspected the bottle in his hand and shrugged, he wasn't one for wine but Effie would love it, he was sure. He was absolutely certain that he had only been gone for a few minutes to keep the wine in the cellar but when he came back into the main hall of his house, it was already filled with people.

His eyes scanned for Effie and the twins, locating them at various different corners in the house. Annie together with her son had arrived with Beetee, still wheelchair bound with Ethan held snugly in his arms. Finn stood on tip toe trying to get a good look at the little bundle that had everyone's attention. The boy was frowning at the sleeping baby. Haymitch watched him poked Ethan, trying to wake the baby up. He had to tell himself that Finn meant no harm and that neither Beetee nor Annie would let anything happen to Ethan. He managed to stay where he was although there was a strong desire to walk over and take Ethan away.

"Congratulations, Haymitch," someone offered, shaking his head enthusiastically.

Haymitch nodded dazedly, not really seeing who it was. The party was in full swing and Haymitch felt inherently lost.

 _And this is my house,_  the vicious bitter thought fleeted through his mind. Haymitch had never much liked having people over his house. It felt like an invasion of his personal space. It was in his house that he could do whatever he wanted with no prying eyes whatsoever and having all of these people made him distinctly uncomfortable.

"Haymitch, this is your children's baby shower so do try to smile and stop looking so miserable," Effie whispered urgently before rushing off to greet a new guest.

Effie was in her element, fleeting from one person to the other exchanging pleasantries with a huge smile on her face and proudly showing off her children to the guests in attendance. The gifts, he noted, were piled sky high on a table.

If there was one thing he was grateful for was that Effie had kept to her promise. She had kept the party small, not inviting her extended relatives, just a few cousins she was close with but then again, her definition of a small party and his were worlds apart.

He stood to the side, arms crossed in front of his chest as he leaned against the wall watching the party from his own little corner. His solitude was broken when Johanna sidled up to him and pressed a shot of whiskey into his hand. He didn't even realize she had arrived at all.

"You look like you need a drink," she chuckled. "One glass wouldn't hurt. It'll probably wipe that sour look off your face but hey, I don't believe in miracles so just drink it, will you?"

There was a hard edge to her tone that made Haymitch spared a glance to see her glaring darkly at Gale. Her husband was leaning against the wall across from them, talking to Katniss and Haymitch knew Katniss enough to notice the glances she was sneaking to Peeta in the kitchen hoping that he could extract her from that situation. The occasional glances she gave Beetee was enough to let Haymitch know the topic Gale and Katniss were talking about. As far as he knew, apart from the polite necessary hellos, Katniss avoided Beetee the way she did with Gale after she found out that it could have been their bombs that killed her sister that fateful day at the City Circle.

"Jealous?" he asked snidely.

"Don't be ridiculous," Johanna rolled her eyes. "Our mockingjay isn't interested in Gale. Honestly, Haymitch, she is married to Peeta."

"That she is," he answered and tipped the glass back. "But what about Hawthorne?"

"He's gotten over it," she replied. "He's trying to make peace with Katniss."

Haymitch raised an eyebrow. "Yeah? So why the long face, Mason?"

"We had an argument on the way here. Nothing to do with Katniss," she scowled. "He wasn't happy with Effie's cousin - seemed to think that there was more to me and him than anything else. Of all the ridiculous things he could accuse me of and this was because Felix kept calling to ask if I had bought your boys any gifts."

Haymitch chuckled. "Felix, really? Isn't it obvious that he isn't interested in women?"

"Not obvious enough to Gale, apparently," she muttered, her eyes fixed on Felix at the other end of the room shadowing Effie and Tristan. "And what's it to him anyway? He doesn't want to be in this marriage any more than I do. I'm not blind to his affairs, either."

"Have there been many?" he inquired curiously. His thoughts drifted back to Adria Stone and her failed attempt at trying to bed him.

Johanna shrugged. "One woman, perhaps."

Felix came to join them just as Haymitch excused himself to the kitchen to have a word with Peeta. He left them both alone. He saw Gale Hawthorne throwing the pair a dirty look.

"So, I figured you aren't going to Katniss' rescue?" he looked at Peeta, jerking his head towards where Katniss and Gale were attempting a conversation.

"Katniss doesn't need rescuing," Peeta said, focusing his attention on the cake. His hands were steady as he carefully decorated the cake with icing. Baking was one of the sureties in Peeta's life. It gave him a sense of peace and ground him. His hands never shook when he's concentrating nor would he lapse into an episode with only him and the ingredients laid out of the table. "What Katniss need is to forgive and let go."

"That isn't as easy as you make it sound to be, kid," he told him slowly, needing Peeta to understand not to expect too much from Katniss.

"I know. But it's a step towards healing. Gale wasn't sure if coming here would be the right thing to do. He called me, you know? I think it was difficult for him to do it but he asked for my opinion, wanted to know if it was better if he stayed away. She grew up with Gale, Haymitch. As much as there was bad blood between them, Gale's her family still."

He had always known Peeta was capable of great kindness but the space for forgiveness in the boy's heart has always surprised him. Haymitch clapped his shoulder and left the boy to finish up the twin's cake.

XxX

Effie was deep in conversation with Plutarch, together with several other people from the Capitol – Effie's cousins, if he recalled - and he had no desire to be a part of that conversation so he went back to join Johanna and Felix when they beckoned him to come over.

"Okay, question," Johanna asked, turning towards Felix with a contemplative look on her face. "You're gay."

"And you have no tact," Felix shot back. "Why, Mason? Know any handsome boys?"

"This law mandated  _everyone_  to get married. You're what? 25? 26? You fall within the ambit of this law, do you not? I don't see you with a wife. I don't think they particularly care about your sexual orientation, to be honest. Why aren't you married?"

"Yes, Felix," Haymitch chimed in, wanting to know for himself how he escaped the law. "Why's that?"

Felix's lips spread into an amused smiled and he laughed. "The law mandated that everyone  _capable_  of bearing a child to be married."

"You can't?" Johanna inquired.

"I made sure I can't," he answered simply.

Haymitch frowned, trying to make sense of Felix just said. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Felix raised an eyebrow. "My secrets don't come cheap," he teased, tapping his fingers against his thigh.

Johanna poured a glass full of whiskey and pushed it towards him. "Now talk."

"When I first heard rumours of this marriage law, I went to the nearest hospital and got myself a vasectomy before birth control becomes illegal. I must say, my foresight was impeccable."

Haymitch sputtered, spraying his drink when Felix admitted what he had done. Even Johanna seemed taken aback and nothing much fazed her nowadays. "That's extreme," she muttered.

Felix shrugged. "We do what we have to do. It doesn't matter to me anyway."

"You like kids," Johanna pointed out. Haymitch's eyes darted back and forth between them. For someone who had only just met a few months ago, they seemed to know each other quite well.

"Yes," he nodded. "But I've got Tristan and Ethan to shower my love to, now. I'm okay with that. I don't want a bunch of people telling me I should get married or I'm supposed to have a particular number of children. No, thank you."

"That was smart, though. I'd have to give you that," Johanna tipped the glass in her hand towards Felix. "Wish I'd thought of that."

Haymitch's head swiveled towards her, regarding her carefully.

"You really wouldn't, Johanna," Felix said seriously. "It is, as you said, extreme. You'd want a family of your own I'm sure, not now perhaps, and not necessarily with your current husband but the law will be repealed and you'll be able to have your own life. Had you done what I did, you might regret it."

Haymitch shifted on his feet. It felt like he was intruding. Felix and Johanna could never get along as far as he knew but this – it was something else. This was the closest he had heard them have to a civil conversation and Felix's concern must have made Johanna feel uncomfortable too because she abruptly changed the subject.

"Yeah, well," Johanna said uncomfortably. "Anyway, I promised Finn I would show him your geese, Haymitch. They're out at the back?"

Haymitch nodded and watched Johanna disappeared into the crowd, holding on to Finn's hand as she led him out of the house. The loud gasp next to him caught his attention and when Haymitch turned around, he saw that Felix had gone pale, staring at the two men who had just entered the house.

"No, he didn't," Felix whispered. "You stupid git."

While he knew Felix and Elias did not exactly have the best relationship, Haymitch didn't quite understand what had caused Felix to be in such distressed, not until Elias approached them with his friend next to him.

"Haymitch," Elias nodded towards him, ignoring his own brother standing next to Haymitch "Congratulations are in order, I believe. Boys, I heard?"

"Yes," Haymitch gave a curt nod. He forced himself to shake the man's hand while squandering the urge to throttle Elias for reporting him to the Council.

"And you, Felix," Elias said, "fancy meeting you here."

"Effie invited me just as you were. Although I can't say the same for you, Mr. Adler," Felix smiled, his eyes glittering dangerously as he addressed Elias' companion.

"I had a business meeting with your brother when he told me that he had to be here and invited me along. I'm very sorry if my being here was – "

"No need to apologise, Klaus. Effie would be delighted to meet you," Elias said, side eyeing Haymitch. The confidence in his voice - the behavior of someone often overstepping his privileges, someone who deemed himself important and was used getting things his way - grated on Haymitch's nerves. "Of course, where are my manners? Haymitch, this is my business partner, Klaus Adler. I've told you about him before, haven't I? And Klaus, this is the man our dear Effie married, Haymitch Abernathy."

"Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Abernathy," Adler gave him what Haymitch thought was the smile that would have won the ladies' heart in a blink, the kind of smile that showed all of his perfect teeth, warm and inviting though Haymitch bought none of that. He clenched his jaw and stared at the man. "Congratulations."

"Thank you," he replied tersely.


	46. Chapter 46

Klaus' hand dropped to his side as his eyes shifted away from Haymitch to the party going on in the house. He cleared his throat and glanced at Elias' direction uncertainly.

_Good. He's uncomfortable,_  Haymitch thought.  _He should be since he turned up uninvited._

Haymitch and Felix stood at the hallway, blocking their path and preventing the pair from going further into the house.

"Come, my friend," undeterred, Elias nodded towards Klaus, "let us meet Effie and her children."

Haymitch straightened up, bringing himself to his full height as his eyes darkened, the silvery grey lost its shine the longer he glared at Elias.  _Her_  children. The use of that specific pronoun was not lost on Haymitch.

Klaus' green eyes were fixed on Haymitch and he had the palm of his hand pressed to his chest looking contrite. He spoke quietly, "my apologies, Mr. Abernathy, for turning up in this manner. I should have called in advance. I hate to trespass and impose but Elias," he smiled at his partner good-naturedly, "can be very persuasive when he wants to and I -"

"Elias! Klaus?" Effie's voice cut through the air. She hurried towards them, squeezing in between Haymitch and Felix to greet the newcomers. Effie enveloped Elias in a warm hug which he returned with much enthusiasm. Klaus kissed both her cheeks as was customary in the Capitol and Effie smiled up at him, her hand resting on his arm.

Her gaze flitted between the men in the group anxiously, especially between Haymitch and Klaus. Effie rocked on the balls of her feet, her hand went up to her earlobe as she tugged on it unconsciously, a sign Haymitch knew to mean that she was restless and was trying hard to hide it. His eyes narrowed suspiciously at Effie's behavior.

"I didn't know you were coming, Klaus," she laughed nervously. "Elias never mentioned anything!"

"I thought it would be a nice surprise, cousin," Elias joked.

"Well, it certainly is a surprise."

Once again, she glanced at Haymitch's direction nervously. "Haymitch, this is – "

"We've met," he cut her off.

"Oh. Well, come in, please, both of you."

XxX

He couldn't stand to be in Elias' presence but Haymitch made to follow the entourage until Felix grabbed a hold of his upper arm and steered him towards the kitchen.

"You don't want to be in that conversation, trust me," he said airily. "It will get very boring very fast and you look like you're set to murder my brother. On any other day, I would have no qualms with that but can't have bloodshed on my nephews' baby shower, can we?"

Peeta was the only person in the kitchen and he perked up at the word  _bloodshed_ , lifting his head briefly to look at Haymitch.

"Everything alright?" he asked.

"Eyes on the cake, boy," Haymitch answered instead. "Mess it up and Effie will have your head. Everything has to be  _fabulous._ "

"Very good! Your Capitol accent is commendable," Felix exclaimed delightedly.

While Felix's ill-timed joke made Peeta laugh, Haymitch had his attention focused elsewhere. He was leaning forward with his elbows resting on the table top, trying to get a good view of Effie, Elias and Klaus. He was only half listening when Peeta excused himself from the kitchen, informing Haymitch that he was going to bring the cake out. Haymitch nodded distractedly and in his state, had Peeta told him that he was going to sell all the geese, Haymitch would have agreed without really knowing what he was agreeing to.

The moment he realized that Peeta was gone, however, Haymitch rounded up on Felix.

"Did you know?"

"No," the young man shook his head. "I swear, Haymitch, I swear I didn't know Elias was going to bring him."

"He did it on purpose, that bastard."

Haymitch spied Plutarch walking towards the trio with Tristan in his arm – he knew it was Tristan because the boy was dressed in a darker shade of blue than his brother – before handing the infant over to his mother. Elias stood up, walking with Plutarch towards the other end of the room just as the man introduced him to Annie and Johanna.

Effie and Klaus were alone and even if Haymitch wanted to, he couldn't look away. Klaus was pointing towards Tristan, gesturing with his hands to hold the boy which Effie complied with. Haymitch was sure she wasn't doing it on purpose but he felt a spike of anger when Effie leaned in close to adjust Tristan so that he was comfortable in Klaus' arm. She must have sensed his gaze on her because Effie turned her head slightly and caught his eyes, giving her husband a smile. Klaus, on the other hand, seemed enchanted with Tristan, gazing down at the boy and stroking his cheek with the back of a finger. Haymitch's fingers gripped the edge of the counter, trying to stop himself from marching over to them.

"Do you want a drink?" Felix asked.

"Now's not the time," he snapped.

"That's probably a first."

It had become second nature to him to scan for Effie and his children whenever they were not together and to his relief, he saw Ethan with Katniss, Peeta, Finn and Prim with Finn trying to keep his toy car out of Prim's grip.

"Look at how natural he is," Elias piped in as he sauntered into the kitchen with a glass of champagne in his hand. "Klaus will be good for her, like, I've always said he would."

"Where's your wife? Why isn't she here with you? Finally realized you're so full of it, did she? I suggest you work on pleasing her royal highness and leave your nose out of other people's business, Eli."

"Is that the way to talk to your big brother, Felix?" Elias scowled, trying to assert his status in the family after the use of the nickname Felix often employed to aggravate him. Turning to Haymitch, the easy smile was once again back on Elias face as he asked, "now, what do you say about the deal we talked about?"

"Deal?" Haymitch scoffed. "For a deal to work, there has to be an exchange of benefits. I give you Effie and what would I get in return?"

"Like I've said, all the help you can get with the law which would guarantee you a faster way to have your life back. Isn't that what you desire the most? Solitude?"

"I can achieve that without your help or his money," Haymitch spat.

Elias laughed, his shoulder shaking with mirth while he helped himself to more champagne. "Sure," he sneered. "How many more appeals will it take the Council to reject before you finally come to your senses?"

Haymitch seethed in anger at the reminder of his failure. He turned his back on Elias but what he saw did not make him feel any better. Klaus was whispering something in Effie's ear with his free hand hovering dangerously close to her thigh. It was the last straw that broke the camel's back. Haymitch stormed out of the kitchen and marched towards them, scooping Tristan out of Klaus' arm. He saw the edge of a piece of paper sticking out of Effie's side pocket, something that wasn't there before.

Klaus was startled at the sudden intrusion.

"Excuse me," Haymitch started, voice strained as he tried to maintain his composure. "Isn't it time for his bottle, Effie?"

He looked at Effie pointedly and as if on cue, Tristan started to sniffle. Haymitch had never been glad that his son could at times be fussy and cranky. Effie mumbled an apology and hurried after Haymitch, fretfully wondering about the quiet rage in Haymitch's eyes.

XxX

Haymitch strode up to the nursery, leaving Effie behind him, knowing that she would follow in any case.

"Peeta, Tristan needs to be fed, could you please just make sure everything's alright for a while?" Effie requested.

Felix hurried out of the kitchen and intercepted Effie just before she disappeared into the corner.

"Are you going to be alright?"

It was an odd question that Effie couldn't help but give Felix a quizzical look.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

His eyes strayed towards Klaus and his brother, and shrugged. "You hate surprise visit and I don't think he RSVP'ed, did he?"

"I didn't even invite him, Felix!" Effie wrung her hands together. "Did… did Haymitch say anything to you?"

"Why would he?" Felix frowned. "He didn't know Klaus before today."

 _Of course he does_ , Effie thought. She had overheard them talking about Klaus Adler on the phone months ago.

"You're a terrible liar, you know that?"

XxX

"Took you long enough, sweetheart," he said when he heard the door to the nursery opened.

"Haymitch, we just fed Tristan two hours ago. This isn't about Tristan, though is it?" Effie huffed, noting that the boy was lying quietly in his crib as he stared up at his crib mobile that Haymitch had only recently installed. "What's the matter with you?"

"Send everyone home, Effie. This baby shower is over."

His back was to her as Haymitch fussed with the mobile, making sure the soft toys were not tangled together. Haymitch flicked a finger at one of the toys watching it sway but Tristan was too young to react to it though the multitude of colours did capture the boy's attention.

Effie was confused. "I don't understand. Haymitch, what's wrong?"

He rounded up on Effie, taking a step towards her and trailed his hand down her arm, to her sides, over her ribcage and the swell of her hip before his hand dipped into the side pocket of her dress.

"Why don't you tell me?" he whispered, arching a mocking eyebrow.

Her breath hitched when Haymitch pulled the envelope out of her pocket, holding it gingerly between his fingers.

"There's… nothing's wrong, Haymitch," she laughed and shook her head. "You're just imagining things. We should go back to the party. People must be wondering where we've been."

"No," he gripped her arm, pulling her back when Effie moved towards the crib. "What is this, Effie? He gave it to you, didn't he?"

"Who, Haymitch?" she snapped, the annoyance crept into her voice the longer Haymitch skittered around what was truly bothering him.

"You know who," he frowned.

"Haymitch – "

"Did he or did he not?"

"He did," she confirmed, letting out a breath. "I've no idea what it is, Haymitch."

"Don't lie to me," he hissed. "I saw the way you two were talking to each other. And you know what's bothering me, sweetheart?"

"No, Haymitch, I don't," she jutted her chin out stubbornly. "I can't read your mind."

"You didn't even look surprise when he slipped this into your pocket. This has happened before, hasn't it?"

Effie's brows furrowed, reaching out for the envelope but Haymitch pulled his hand back.

"Go on, sweetheart, tell me I'm wrong," he said, waiting for an answer that wasn't forthcoming. "It has happened before."

"No," Effie stammered at last. "No, it hasn't."

All throughout the time that they had known each other, Effie had always accused him of being rude and he was rude, to an extent, mostly to annoy her but Haymitch had never been disrespectful towards her by invading through her personal matters until today. He knew it was bad manners to open a letter addressed to someone else but he ignored the decorum expected from a decent man and tore open the top part of the envelope, extracting a piece of paper out.

 _I have a right to know,_  he tried to argue and validate his action.  _If it has anything to do with my family, I have a right to know._

"Haymitch, please," she rested her hand on top of the paper, stopping him from reading any further. "Please, I didn't know. I told him not to and that we should stop but …"

He batted her hand away and glanced through the paper, picking the gist of the contents. Effie took a step away from him but she didn't get far before her back hit the crib. Effie knew the exact moment when he finished reading because his eyes flickered up to her face and the way he was looking at her made Effie wished she could press herself against the wall and disappear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with that, I'll leave you to your speculations.


	47. Chapter 47

The silence in the room was palpable; drawn out by Effie staring worriedly at Haymitch who in turn, was carefully re-reading the paper in his hand. Her gaze shifted to the envelope at the same time that Haymitch noticed that there was something else inside. His brows furrowed as he emptied the contents only to find a silver necklace pooling on the palm of his hand.

The corner of his lip twitched.

"For someone who wasn't informed about this party  _and_  was dragged here at the very last minute by your cousin, he sure came prepared."

"Haymitch," she began. "I wasn't lying. I don't know what's on that piece of paper. And he has never… given me gifts before. You have to believe me," her voice was pleading with him to understand.

"What else has he given you? Why don't you enlighten me, sweetheart? 'cause I feel like I've been purposely kept out of the loop."

Haymitch had called her 'sweetheart' many times before but not with that much spite in his voice which made Effie visibly flinched. He quelled the urge to reach out for her. Any other sane person would have left the room but Effie had never wavered and had always stood up to him even when he had sprouted unpleasant things while he was drunk. She took a bold step towards him, her hands shaking as she pried the piece of paper – the statistics on Panem's current birth rates - out of his grip.

Effie drew a shaky breath, her eyes swept over the paper, taking the contents in for the first time since it was handed to her.

"Information," she held his gaze, "for the law. That's all there is. I promise."

He narrowed his eyes at her, thinking about what she said. Haymitch circled the room like a vulture with his hand propped on his hips. She stepped out of his way to stand by Tristan's crib. Effie laid a protective hand over her son's chest to give him comfort over the storm brewing in the room and to draw strength from the little soul. Even if Haymitch was looking at her with contempt, the knowledge that her children were far too young to hate her, provided Effie with the necessary calmness to deal with the given situation.

"You're telling me that all those information you've given me so far – the list of people married under the law, the names of members of the Council who voted for and against the law – you got it from him? From Adler?"

Effie nodded.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I did," she frowned. "The information came from one of my contacts in the Capitol – that's what I told you."

"Not from one person. You led me to believe that you got it all on your own because of connections you have in the Capitol," he countered. Haymitch tilted his head and regarded her. "I didn't know you and Adler are chummy enough to be exchanging information."

Effie glowered, resenting the insinuation. "I haven't known him long!" she retorted.

Haymitch snorted derisively.

"You were eager for the information, Haymitch. Correct me if I'm wrong but you've never asked - you weren't bothered with questions of where they came from as long as you had something to go against the Council. I never thought it would matter so I've never told you. You want to know where I've been getting them? From him! He is the connection, Haymitch," she had raised her voice by the end of it.

Tristan squirmed, diverting Effie's attention away from Haymitch.

"You said earlier…" he trailed off, suddenly distracted by Effie holding Tristan out to him. She had lamented once that he was the only person capable of calming Tristan down. Haymitch cradled the child, patting him softly on his back. "You told him to stop. Stop what? Stop giving you those messages?"

The glint of dread and fear was back in her eyes.

"I did, yes," Effie nodded carefully. "I – I overhead the conversation you had with Felix on the phone. I know what's going on with you and Elias and Klaus. I know that I am somehow implicated right in the middle of this. The deal was me in return for help with the law, wasn't it?"

If Haymitch was surprised by Effie's revelation that she had known about her cousin and Klaus all along, Haymitch didn't show it. His face was a blank mask when he nodded in affirmation.

"Why didn't you take the deal, Haymitch?" she asked quietly.

His pacing ceased and Haymitch turned slowly to look at her.

"Would you have wanted me to?"

"He's offering you help with the law. Isn't that what you wanted – for an end?"

"There was no guarantee that the law will be repealed even with Adler on board," he answered simply, hoping that it was enough to appease her. It wasn't a complete lie, not at all. "And your cousin is a smug bastard. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction."

"Is that all?"

There was a hopeful glimmer in her eyes and knowing exactly what Effie was hoping to hear, Haymitch tore his gaze away. He denied her of it simply because he couldn't say them. Haymitch swallowed thickly.

The words were lodged in his throat.

What would she think of him if she knew?

He couldn't tell her that the thought of her with Adler made him burn with resentment. She would think him selfish. Why deny her a chance to be with someone who is smitten with her and could give her a good life when he couldn't love her?

He couldn't tell her that all he wanted to do was to protect her from being exploited by her cousin and that was the reason why he would never take the deal. He wanted to tell her that the bastard that she think he was, actually cares about her and that the decision of who she wants to be with after the law ended should lie with her and not dictated by a cousin who claimed to have her best interest at heart.

Those thoughts coalesced and broke apart in his mind where it stayed in fragments since he couldn't seem to vocalize any of his thoughts about her to her.

"Yes," he answered her curtly.

 _But you're missing the point, aren't you?,_ the traitorous voice hissed in his mind. _You have no right to feel angry if she ended up with Klaus because that's partly why you wanted to end the law – for her to be free and lead the life she deserved, not stuck with a man like you_.

 _We didn't have children back then,_  he thought viciously.

 _So she's staying then? Even after the law's repealed?_ , the voice egged on.  _I'm guessing there won't be a divorce._

His old man had told him once, a long time ago, that talking to oneself was the first sign of madness. Haymitch refused to have an inner monologue with himself.

Effie walked over to the window, leaning against it with her arms folded across her chest. She stared out of it, watching Finn with Katniss and Prim down at the front yard. Finn was sitting under Effie's apple tree with a plate in his hand, stuffing his face with dessert and letting the toddler lick the cream off his finger. It was sweet watching Finn playing the role of a surrogate big brother.

Katniss was standing nearby when she glanced up to see Effie looking at them from the nursery. A shadow of concern passed over the younger woman's face but Effie shook her head, giving Katniss a reassuring smile.

"I was just trying to help you with the law and the information Klaus had was important," she said. "I didn't think it would matter who gave it to me, not until -"

"Not until what?"

The years of alcohol abused should have dulled his mind but that wasn't the case. The rare moment of sobriety proved that his mind was still sharp and if he focused really hard, he could think quite clearly. As it happen, he was already two steps ahead and had figured out the problem that they were currently facing – with Effie getting help from Klaus – but he needed to get through to Effie first, to make her understand the grave she had dug for herself.

"Until I overhead your conversation with Felix," she said, turning around to face him.

She remained where she was by the window and Haymitch somehow sensed that Effie was trying to maintain some distance between them. "Haymitch, you're a proud man and all these years that I've known you, I have never known you to ask for help if you could avoid it. Not even from me when you could barely function. I – I didn't know how you would react if I told you that someone else was helping us gather the information and his information has been very helpful, so far. You would be more receptive if you think the information came from me."

"So you lied to me."

"I kept certain truths from you."

"It's called lying, sweetheart," he pointed out.

"Don't act as if you have never done that  _to me,_ " she hissed. "I was helping you with the Rebellion and even then, you treated me on a need-to-know basis."

He dismissed that protest with a waved of his hand. not wanting to be dragged into an argument about a time in the past.

"When I became aware of the deal Elias has been trying to get you into, I called Klaus and told him to stop passing me those messages. I don't need his help and I didn't want a situation where you owed Klaus anything."

"But it's not me who owes him anything now. You should have told me," he said.

"I handled it, Haymitch! I wasn't going to run to you with something I could very well deal on my own."

"I don't think you're seeing the bigger picture here, sweetheart," Haymitch said. "Do you know what you've done?"

"Look," she threw her hand up in frustration. "I know you don't like Klaus and you don't want his help. I get it. I've told him to stop but how was I to know he would be here giving me this," she waved the paper at him.

"It's a trap, Effie," he spoke quietly.

The use of her name startled her. "I'm sorry?"

"They've got you in their trap. I don't know what you were thinking but there's a reason I've never accepted anything your cousin had to offer – I never wanted to be in his debt! But you…  _you…_  Don't you see? They had you right from the beginning. The moment you placed that call to your cousin asking to speak to Adler – because I'm assuming that's how you get in contact with him since you haven't known him long, after all – they had you. You're… How could you be so stupid?"

"If I knew, I wouldn't – What?" she jerked forward. "What are you saying? Are you telling me that they've planned this?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying."

"Why would they do such a thing?"

"To get you!"

"No, no," Effie shook her head vehemently. "They would never do that. Elias would never do that."

"Don't be stupid," he snarled at her. "Your cousin has a vested interest in this. I don't know how much you know or how much of that conversation you heard, but a portion of his share is at stake here. I have seen people do worse for a lot less. And Adler," Haymitch snorted, "that man is in love with you. I bet you know that, too, and you're making use of what he feels for you to get what you want."

"He wanted to help me."

"Because he's in love with you," Haymitch barked. Tristan started crying. "It's alright," he whispered soothingly. "It's alright, peanut. Your mum and I are just talking."

XxX

"You're jealous," she said, naming the emotion out there for him. Effie beckoned for him to hand Tristan over but Haymitch shook his head.

"I didn't know we were discussing my feelings."

Effie blinked at him, noting that he never denied it.

"It's not him I love, Haymitch. It's not him that I want."

"Whatever debt you owe them, you pay for it on your own but he's not getting my children because you fucked things up. You went behind my back. You should have asked me -"

"I was trying to help you," she screamed at him and stopped short, pulling herself together when she remembered the guests in their house and Tristan who was there with them. "Everything I did, I did it for you!"

He frowned, holding on to Tristan a little bit tighter.

"You owe them a debt, Effie, and they're going to collect it."

"You're blowing things out of proportion. You accused them of planning it all out but we don't know that, Haymitch. What if Klaus was just trying to help?"

"Why would he help you if he gets nothing in return!?" he argued.

"I don't know! Maybe he wants the law to end as much as you do! You shouldn't just assume that he -"

"Stop trying to be on his side!"

Whatever self-restraint and shred of patience Effie had before this, evaporated at that very second.

"I am not on his side! I'm on yours, I've always been. Why can't you see that I'm not your enemy, Haymitch?" her voice cracked. Her hands shook with anger. He had never trusted her. After everything that they've been through, even when she thought he cared about her, he had never truly believed in her. Effie didn't know how else to get through him. "You need to realize that I'm your wife and that means I am on your side and I will stand by you. You're not facing this world on your own. I'm here and I was trying to help. I'm sorry for … I'm sorry."

They were back to staring at each other in suffocating silence. Effie was breathing heavily, shaking like a leaf. Haymitch said nothing still and after a prolonged stillness, she felt a sense of betrayal creeping in. It made her doubt everything she knew about Haymitch. She was certain that he would leave her alone to claw her way out all by herself. Hadn't he said the same just moments ago?

_You pay for it on your own._

"I did it for you," a lone tear trailed down her cheek.

She tried so hard to be strong, to not let him see her break but it was getting harder to deal with him. On some nights, when Haymitch was asleep and she was alone with the twins, Effie couldn't wait for the law to end so she could get away from him. It was exhausting to be in his presence, to love him as much as she does, when he could never return the feeling. Haymitch would do anything to keep her and the children safe but that was the extent of his commitment to her. Effie knew Haymitch was capable of love because he loves his children. It was just her that he couldn't love. She hated having to compete with a ghost for his affection.

"I know," he nodded, startling Effie when he spoke.

Haymitch closed the gap in two long strides and by instinct, something that had been ingrained in her from her time in prison when she felt threatened, Effie hastily took a step back. To his credit, Haymitch wasn't offended by it. He shifted Tristan so that one of his hands was free and he touched her arm gently, coaxing her quietly. When she didn't run away, Haymitch pulled her towards him and enfolded her in his embrace. He held the back of her head as she pressed her face to the crook of his shoulder.

"You're not alone. We'll figure this one out – together."

Effie choked back a sob, nodding against his chest. Her tears soaked through his shirt. She wound her arm around his waist while the other hand rested on Tristan's back as Haymitch held his wife and his son close. Effie wished Ethan was there with them. It was comforting to be held that way by Haymitch - it felt like they were a family.


	48. Chapter 48

Haymitch stroked her soft blonde hair, hearing nothing but her quiet sniffles. She gripped the back of his shirt tightly in her hands, anchoring herself to him. They were flawed people but her flaw was quickly turning out to be him. The loyalty she had for him made his heart swell and ache at the same time. He had never been shown such unparalleled faithfulness. Was this what it felt like to have someone love him?

Haymitch tightened his hold on her and squeezed his eyes shut, battling with the emotions roiling over him. He felt faint; the colours had drained from his face. If Effie wasn't careful, she would make him her own weakness and it would be her eventual downfall.

"Together….?" she hiccupped.

"Together."

"You – you won't… you said I should deal…on my own."

It was true. He had said it in a fit of anger and frustration, and fear. He had been afraid of what Elias and Adler was capable of. He was afraid of what they would take from him for Effie's mistake – a mistake she unknowingly committed  _for him._

"I was wrong," he kissed her temple. "You're not alone."

He had vowed on their wedding day more than a year ago that he would protect her. Leaving her alone to these vultures would have been a breach of that trust. If he didn't want Elias and Adler to take anything – Effie or his children – away from him, then he would have to do something about it and he could start by proving to his wife that she could depend on him, that she could trust him to keep them safe. He could offer her some of that loyalty she had shown him.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

His right arm was beginning to lose sensation from holding Tristan in that position for so long. He shifted his arm which prompted Effie to look up, bright eyes shining with tears. Haymitch brushed his thumb lightly across her cheekbones, smearing the light powder on her face even further. There was a small scar just below her right eye – difficult to see unless one was looking for it – from where she had tripped as a child learning to walk in her heels. She had told him that story one night – something light and amusing to chase away her dark dreams - and they had laughed over it.

"Stop crying," he said quietly. "We don't want the guests to think – "

The reaction he received from Effie was instantaneous.

"The party," she gasped. "They'll be wondering about us! Haymitch, you can't go back down in that. Change your shirt, please."

She pushed herself off him, smooth out the creases on his shirt and clicked her tongue at the wet patch where her tears had soaked through. Effie stood in front of the mirror in the nursery, frowning at her reflection in the mirror.

"Worry about yourself," he said under his breath and gestured to her face. He glanced at the clock on the mirror. "It's going to be sun down soon. The party's going to be over in a while, anyway. I'll tell them Tristan threw up on me and you had a melt down at the state of my shirt."

"Nobody's going to believe that," she shook her head, smiling indulgently at him nonetheless.

They were at the top of the stairs that will lead them back down to the main hall when she stopped and turned to face him.

"Are we…" she nibbled her bottom lip. "You and I… Are we okay?"

"We're alright," he nodded. Haymitch reached out for her hand and laced their fingers together. "Come on."

"They don't believe in us – Elias and Klaus," Effie said as they walked down the stairs. "They think they could easily break…. Haymitch, maybe just for tonight, we should show them that -"

"We're a team?" he finished off her sentence.

"You said together. I just thought…"

His lips twitched into a smile.

XxX

The moment they appeared in the living room, Effie's cousins circled her. Haymitch handed Tristan over and escaped from the crowd. They were giving Effie well-wishes and raining kisses on his poor son, bidding farewell and inviting Effie over to the Capitol for a visit. There was no offer on their part for a social visit to see the boys in District Twelve anywhere in the near future and it was just as well. He was not keen on having her family members dropping by every so often.

Haymitch wandered away from them, looking around the room for Ethan. It didn't take long to locate the boy. Felix's shriek of horror was helpful. He held Ethan an arm's length away and if he wasn't a baby, Felix might just have throttled the child.

"You cannot – no, you… you…" he sputtered. "You naughty, naughty boy. You can't throw up all over me. That's absolutely forbidden. I'm your uncle. It is  _rude._ "

Katniss was looking at Felix incredulously. Haymitch noticed that she still had not warmed up to him which wasn't surprising. It took him a while to get used to Felix after all.

Johanna's laughter rang loud over the room.

"As if the boy knows who you are."

"Well, he better," Felix retorted, grabbing a handful of tissues to dab the front of his shirt.

"I told you not to move him around too much. Babies have sensitive stomach," Annie said. "You don't listen."

"This is an expensive – "

"Shirt. We know," Johanna rolled her eyes.

"Gave Felix a nasty present, did you, tiger?" Haymitch whispered conspiratorially. "Good job."

Plutarch was standing next to the hologram in their room projecting some show Haymitch had never watched before while proudly informing Beetee and Elias of a project he was currently producing. Johanna, Katniss and Peeta were deep in conversation as Annie watches over Finn and Prim.

Haymitch settled down on the sofa with Ethan held snugly in his arm. It wasn't long before Effie joined him, taking a seat next to him. She peered over at Ethan and wiped the drool off the corner of her son's lips.

"Where's Felix?"

"Bathroom," he answered distractedly.

He could feel Adler's gaze on them. It was deliberate how Haymitch casually rested his hand on Effie's thigh when she averted her attention from him to speak to Annie. Effie stiffened at his unexpected touch, something he would never do in front of so many people. She must have remembered their conversation just before they joined the party because Effie began to relax. Her hand moved on top of his thus giving Adler's the impression that these little touches they exchanged were normal. She turned her head to look at Haymitch but not before letting her gaze lingered for a brief second on Adler. Effie smiled at him.

The smirk on his face was telling. Effie had done that on purpose and he could not have been more proud. She raised an eyebrow at him, a silent challenging gesture. 'Your turn', it says.

Haymitch turned his palm upwards so that their fingers were intertwined in full view of Adler who, much to Haymitch's immense satisfaction, had quickly averted his gaze away from them.

"Well, sweetheart," he leaned in close to whisper in her ear, "I never thought I would ever play this jealousy game with you."

"Seems rather childish, isn't it?"

XxX

There were movements beyond the front door, shadows dancing and shifting. Felix parted the curtain and peered outside to see Effie and Adler talking at the front porch. He turned abruptly and caught Haymitch's eyes, discreetly jerking his head questioningly towards the pair outside. Haymitch gestured for him to step aside so he could keep an eye on Effie from the now slightly parted curtain.

Effie had told him that she needed to speak privately to Adler earlier and while he didn't like the idea, he understood that perhaps, there were things Effie needed to settle on her own. Haymitch watched as Effie returned the silver necklace which Adler had given to her. Adler, on the other hand, was growing increasingly agitated with each passing second; his face a mask of distress as he ran his hand through his hair. When Adler took hold of Effie by the crook of her elbow, Haymitch was ready to go over should anything happen. Adler was adamantly shaking his head, clearly trying to convince Effie of something or the other.

When she returned to him, Effie was frowning in confusion. She glanced back sympathetically at Adler.

"Everything okay?"

"He didn't know," she said in a hushed undertone. "Klaus swore he knew nothing about the deal Elias offered you."

"He's lying, then."

"Except I don't think he's lying – that's the problem," she fretted. "He was… really surprised when I asked him about the deal. He seems genuine when I asked him why he was helping us. He's in shock out there, Haymitch."

Adler was sitting by the wicker chair staring at the necklace in his hand. He looked up just then, unexpectedly finding himself staring straight at Haymitch through the window.

"It's an act," Haymitch stated.

It had to be an act. Haymitch glanced at Effie. She had spent a good deal of her time as an escort pretending to support the Games when she was only trying to find the truth about her sister and she had done so very well, so well in fact, that Haymitch had bought her act. Perhaps pretending and acting was something those born in the Capitol were gifted with.

Nothing added up. Adler's claim that he knew nothing made no sense to Haymitch. He had to be a part of it – him and Elias. They were the snake in his garden and Haymitch wasn't going to fall for his claim of innocence. His mind had started racing; forming connections to events that had transpired and trying to logically piece all the information together.

"Mr Abernathy," the edgy, jittery voice of the very man Haymitch was thinking off called out for his attention. "Could I… perhaps… speak with you? In private, if possible."

He glanced nervously around him. Out of the corner of Haymitch's eyes, he saw Elias glanced briefly at them. He excused himself from Beetee's and Plutarch's company and made his way towards Adler.

"It is quite late, don't you think? Perhaps it is time to leave. Klaus?"

Adler wiped his brows with his thumbs. His eyes darted around the room before it landed on Felix perched on the armrest of the sofa where Johanna was sitting with Annie, oblivious to the group's discussion.

"My apologies, Elias. I have made prior arrangements with your brother. It slipped my mind to inform you earlier. I will take my leave with him when he's ready on Mr. Heavensbee's hovercraft," Adler said.

"What about?"

Haymitch snorted at how demanding he was. Did he really think he would always get things done his way?

"Felix had wanted to discuss with me about… the building he's living in. There was a problem that the management still had not rectified, you see, and I have to do something. It was my company that was in charge of designing that building."

"Why didn't you discuss it with him earlier?" Elias questioned.

"We thought it would be rude to discuss such affairs during Effie's baby shower," Adler answered quickly. "Isn't that right, Felix?"

"What?" Felix's head snapped up at the mention on his name.

"The water problem," Adler prompted. "Rusty water running through the bath? You've complained to the management but the problem still persisted. That was what you said."

"Ummm," Felix glanced uncertainly at Adler and then at Haymitch. Haymitch tilted his head slightly and nodded towards Klaus imperceptibly. He hoped that was enough for Felix to get the message. "Oh, that! Yes! That's very, very troubling. Dirty water, honestly! Which century are we living in? It's a very serious issue. I paid a fortune for rent. You would think they could at least install water purifier."

Elias eyed them suspiciously. Haymitch knew a flimsy excuse when he heard one and Elias, no doubt, knew the same but in a room full of people, there was nothing much he could do. He bade farewell, swooped down to give Effie a kiss on her cheek and left the house without so much as a glance in Haymitch's direction. Such ill-mannered gesture did not go unnoticed by Effie. Growing up, they had been taught better than that and this rude behaviour coming from Elias made her even more suspicious of him.

 


	49. Chapter 49

"What was that about?" Felix scrunched his face.

Peeta, standing at the corner of the room with Prim in his arm, quickly assessed the situation and made a sudden announcement.

"If you're all not in a hurry to leave, you should come over. It's been a while since any you visited me and Katniss, anyway, and Felix has never been over, have you?" he smiled and gestured for them to follow him. "I've made several paintings and it's quickly filling up the study. If anything catches your fancy, you can have them."

If his sudden offer to invite the guests over to their house surprised Katniss, she did not show it. Her eyes however, slid towards Haymitch, Effie and Adler suspiciously and caught Haymitch's imploring gaze. She nodded at him. Katniss may not completely comprehend the situation but Haymitch and Katniss had always understood each other at a level that both baffled and irritated Effie and Peeta.

Before anyone could give an answer, their decision was taken out of their hands when Finn barrelled out of the house towards Peeta's, prompting the adults to follow after him. Gale hesitated by the front door of Haymitch's house, only taking another step forward when Johanna clicked her tongue and gave him a light push on the small of his back.

"Would you like me to take the children?" Annie asked kindly, smiling at them.

"Yes, Annie, please," Effie nodded in gratitude. "Thank you. We won't take long, I promise."

Annie motioned for Felix, asking him to carry one the boys.

"Don't worry, Effie," Felix looked her in the eyes. "Settle what needs to be done with Klaus. We'll talk later. Your babies will be safe with us, won't they, my sweet honey pies?"

XxX

Adler was of average height with broad shoulders and dark hair, side parted and combed neatly. His angular face made him quite attractive and pleasant to look at. Like, Elias, he held himself rigidly, his posture gave people the impression that he was all business, which was not at all a misleading impression. He was the kind of man who could stride into a room and have silence fall over because everyone's attention would suddenly be on him. Adler commanded respect. But unlike Elias, his green eyes spoke of a different man - a man with compassion and kindness. He was the kind of man who would return people's admiration where they are given and due.

At the moment, Haymitch could tell that he was anxious. Adler licked his lips nervously. The top button of his shirt was undone and he pulled on to his collars uncomfortably. Still, he held himself with as much dignity as he could muster.

Haymitch gestured towards the sitting room, allowing Adler to enter first. A hand closed around Haymitch's arm.

"Haymitch," she stepped in front of him. "You won't lose your temper in there. Promise me."

He pursed his lips disapprovingly which made Effie cupped his cheek, her thumb brushed soothingly across his cheekbone.

"I'm on your side. Nobody else's but yours," Effie reminded him. "So promise me that you will listen to him, that you will give him a chance to explain himself. Haymitch, if we hope to learn anything, then we have to let him talk. No getting angry."

"Okay," Haymitch gave a curt nod.

Effie smiled and kissed him.

When she pulled back, Haymitch gazed down at her.

"I trust you, you know," he told her quietly. Coming from Haymitch, that simple statement held a mammoth of worth. It was not something he would say lightly. Trust meant a lot to him and Effie knew it, too. "If you think Adler has something important to tell us, if you think he doesn't know about the deal Elias offered me, then I will give him a chance to explain himself."

XxX

Adler was standing by the bay window, overlooking the front yard where Effie's apple tree was growing. When he heard their footsteps approaching, he swivelled to face them.

"Effie, Haymitch," he took a step forward. "May I call you Haymitch?"

Haymitch paused, seemingly thinking of it before he answered, "you may not."

"Fair enough. I don't blame you, not if what I heard about this whole thing with Elias is true," he answered.

"You wanted to speak to me?"

"I did, yes," Adler nodded, taking a seat across from Haymitch and Effie. He swallowed and dabbed his handkerchief to his forehead, wiping the perspiration away. "Effie and I had a talk earlier on and… I know my presence here has caused a great deal of distressed between the two of you. I apologised. I should never have turned up especially since I wasn't invited. Please, you need to understand that it was not my intention to cause any problems but I have and I deeply regret that."

"It's alright, Klaus. There was a silver lining to you being here. If it weren't for you, I would never know about -, " Effie glanced at Haymitch. "Perhaps you should tell Haymitch what you told me earlier."

Adler shifted in his seat so that he was facing Haymitch directly. "It has come to my attention that Elias tried to make some kind of deal with you."

"Don't you mean you?" Haymitch asked, arching an eyebrow

"I've been implicated."

"Oh? Well, isn't that interesting? Do tell."

"I don't know of any deals. Not one involving you or Effie or me. Not until today."

Haymitch scoffed.

"So those information Effie just miraculously appeared to her? You're telling me that they were not from you? That they were not some part of that same arrangement Elias had going on?"

"No, no, they… were from me," he admitted. "I gave them to Effie."

"So there," Haymitch waved his hand. "How can you say that you don't know anything? Don't you mean to trap her – extract something from her as repayment for all those information you've given her?"

"Haymitch," Effie warned, laying a hand on his knee.

Adler sat up straighter, his right leg bouncing rhythmically, the only indication that he was agitated. He took his glasses off and wiped them using the tail of his shirt, something no Capitol citizens would do or so Haymitch thought because had never seen many Capitol citizens with glasses on. There were corrective lenses of various colours that they could have used.

"Even before your first meeting with the Council, I already knew that you were trying to repeal the law. Elias told me about it."

Haymitch gave Effie a questioning look.

"I spoke to Elias," Effie admitted. "We were only just married and back then, if you could help it, you always spend your time away from here," she gestured around the house, "avoiding me. I was mostly alone and I miss the Capitol. It wasn't much but it was familiar. This house didn't feel like home a year ago and I felt lonely and alone. I talked to Elias and Felix often. They were the connection to home."

Haymitch inhaled sharply, turning to look at her. She gave him a sad smile. He covered the hand resting on his knee and squeezed it lightly. He knew how he had treated her early on in their marriage. She was invisible. If he pretended that she wasn't there, he wouldn't need to talk to her and he could go on as if they were not married but that hadn't turned out very well after all.

"When I heard of what you were attempting to do, I knew I had to help somehow," Adler went on.

An incredulous, disbelieving expression settled on Haymitch's face. "Why? You're not affected by -"

"Why?" Adler snorted. "Because it is blatantly unfair, that's why. And I am affected by it.  _You_  think it's unfair that a law exist telling you that you have to get married but you  _get to choose_  the person you want to be with as long you fulfil the law. It's true that some people prefer bachelorhood but how bad could it be if you could be with someone that you have chosen? The only time you're really forced into anything is when you're assigned a wife or a husband because you can't find one on your own. I know the law is not ideal but have you thought about people like me? Those in my situation?"

Adler pushed himself to his feet abruptly, running his hand through his hair in distress as he paced the room.

"Don't you think that  _I_  would like to get married some day? Do you think I want to be alone forever?" his face was turning red with each passing second.

"What's stopping you?" Haymitch frowned.

"Because I can't! I - I…," he trailed off, looking at Haymitch and Effie. "You wouldn't have given it much thought. I am aware that you would have focused your attention on bigger problems."

"What is it, Klaus?" Effie asked softly, in a placating manner. "Perhaps if you could enlighten us… We would understand better."

"It was never explicitly stated – it is not written law – but those who are unable to conceive or bear children, people like me, we can't get married. Not to people like you or Mr. Abernathy – not to those who are capable of bearing children," he started. He stared at the pattern of their rug, his lips twitched into a sardonic smile. "That marriage would not have contributed anything to the population growth. My choices are severely limited. If I do want to settle down, it would have to be with someone in the same boat as I am. President Paylor's administration would not bat an eyelash then. I could risk jail time otherwise."

Haymitch was staring at Adler. The confidence in him was gone. He sat hunched on the sofa with his hands on his knees, fingers twisting and turning the silver chain Effie had returned to him.

"We are treated like second class citizen because we have  _nothing,_ " he spat, "to offer this country right now. Actively discriminated against. How is that fair? If I loved a woman and she happened to be physically fit and endorsed by the government while I am not, I am forbidden from marrying her. How is that fair, Mr. Abernathy? Don't I deserve to be loved?"

 _How the tables have turned,_  a treacherous voice whispered in Haymitch's ears. For 75 years, when the Games were still being played, citizens in the districts were treated like dirt – left to starved and die. They were not only actively discriminated against, their children were constantly being sent to their deaths. Haymitch wanted to ask Adler how was  _that_  fair? Instead, he scrunched his face in disgust. That man was whining because he couldn't get married? Because he couldn't be with a woman he loved?

"For years -" Haymitch began.

Effie squeezed his thigh sharply and shot him a glare. She shook her head, warning him not to bring it up.

"Don't do it, Haymitch," she said out of the corner of her mouth. "Don't go there. Please, focus on this issue."

"So how are you involved?" Haymitch asked.

"Elias told me there was a way I could help by palming information off to Effie. I was told that she would give it you in order to help you. I want the law to end as much as you do. Elias would not have been involved in this if …"

"If there was a way for you to get in contact with me directly," Effie said.

Adler nodded.

"Yes, even if there was a way, I could not by pass Elias to contact you directly. He would see it as a betrayal," he said. Turning to Haymitch, he began to explain, "I've always known Effie. She was an escort which means I saw her often on televisions, on interviews and if I were to get into contact with her that abruptly without proper introductions, she might not be very receptive especially since she doesn't know who I am"

"Not personally, no. I have heard of you. Everyone has at some point. You're a successful businessman, after all," Effie said.

Haymitch cleared his throat and gestured for Adler to continue.

"Whatever help I wanted to give, I needed Elias as a contact to reach either Effie or yourself. I wasn't sure if Effie would want my help but Elias assured me that he would do the convincing and that you, Effie, would take any information I was willing to give. Believe me, I only wanted to help end the law with whatever little ways that I could. You must know by now, Mr. Abernathy, during your time in the Capitol that we do not do things for free. It is not in practice to do so. Quid pro quo – that was how it was."

"I'm aware," Haymitch said. "You had to offer something to Elias for his help in convincing my wife."

"That's right. I offered a 5% downside in my share of our business profits. That was all there was to it. He agreed to it. We shook hands on it. Elias jokingly told me that when the law ends and if you both decided to get out of your marriage, he hoped that Effie and I could have our chance to start something. I thought nothing of it just that perhaps, he was conveying his hope and well wishes for me."

Haymitch squinted up at Adler, internalising the information he had just been told.

"This is all very embarrassing," he laughed a little awkwardly, giving Effie a furtive glance. "I never imagined that this was how you'd find out my feelings…Well, it doesn't matter now, anyway."

"I'm truly sorry, Klaus," Effie reached out and held his hand before letting go.

"It's fine," Adler said. "Mr. Abernathy, it was never my intention to tear you and Effie apart. I would never knowingly deceive Effie in that manner you thought I had. I never wanted to force your hand in giving your wife up to me. There is truly no point getting out of a forced marriage only to end up with another… with me, would it? I would never do that you, Effie. I lo-" he caught himself just in time and quickly amended it, "respect you too much to think you would fall for that."

 


	50. Chapter 50

Silence fell over the room.

Effie stood up abruptly and moved towards the bay window. She hugged herself, rubbing her hand up and down her arms. Haymitch watched her from his place on the sofa. He would remember the peculiarity of this situation for a long time to come. After all, it was hardly an everyday occurrence in anyone's life to be in the same room with a man who has romantic feelings for a woman who is married to a reluctant husband without so much as any of the parties killing each other.

It was reminiscent of a very bad casting to some cheap Capitol television series. He would know because he had seen plenty of those soap operas slated between the mandatory viewing of the Games while it was still in session, drunk but still able to comprehend what he was watching.

Across their house, on the front lawn, Finn was laughing gleefully, throwing clumps of dirt at Prim. Annie poked her head from the second floor which Effie recognised to be Peeta's painting room. When she saw what her son was up to, she gestured in agitation at Johanna who was supposed to be supervising the children but was clearly, doing a poor job of it. Effie smiled ruefully at the sight. She would miss them dearly when they each return home.

"Something doesn't quite make sense," Effie spoke suddenly. She turned sideways to face Adler, arms folded across her chest. "If you had agreed to a lesser share of the business revenue and Elias had agreed – and profited from it – shouldn't that be the end of it? I don't understand the deal with Haymitch. It serves no purpose."

"Because it wasn't enough," Haymitch said calmly.

Adler blinked and frowned. "Wasn't enough? He's never hinted at having the share increased – "

"He doesn't want an increase. He wants everything," said Haymitch. "I think we could all use with a drink right now."

Haymitch went over to the in-built cabinet and on the top cupboard, a place Effie could never reach, he extracted a half empty bottle of bourbon. Effie narrowed her eyes at him which Haymitch studiously ignored until he had poured a good measure over two glasses. He handed a glass over to Adler.

"Felix," Haymitch shrugged by way of an answer. "That's where I saw him stashed the bourbon."

Now that Adler had said what needed to be said, he appeared to be slightly at ease although he still watched Haymitch with wary eyes, half expecting the man to pounce on him.

"If there's one thing we can all agree on it'll be that Elias Lewis has a forked tongue," Haymitch swirled the drink in his glass. As he walked back over to the sofa, Haymitch passed by Effie still standing by the window. He took hold of her hand and led her to a seat next to him. "The boys are fine," he assured her quietly.

"They haven't been away from us ever since we brought them home. I'm just worried if they're – "

"They're fine, sweetheart," he asserted in a whisper, still acutely aware of the third person in the room. "They've got good people looking after them."

Effie nodded half-heartedly.

"For as long as I've known him, Elias has a certain flair with words," Adler said.

Haymitch snorted. "Is that so? If telling you one thing and me the other is called a 'flair with words', then we all need to think of a new definition for manipulative, ruthless and cold blooded bastard."

That produced a nervous laugh from Adler.

"He was just… He wants what would benefit him."

"Yes," Haymitch agreed, "except 5% of your share isn't cutting it anymore."

Effie's eyes darted between the two men, trying to stay one step ahead but at the moment, she felt she deserved to be congratulated if she could even keep up with Haymitch's train of thoughts as he took the problem apart. This felt familiar to her. This was how they worked during the Games. She would be by his side, going over the sponsor list as he took in the arena and the tributes and tried to understand each of their strategy, and Effie would wait patiently for him to explain what he had figured out.

Adler said nothing. Haymitch knew that Adler did not understand what he was driving at. Haymitch leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees and fingers steepled together.

"Give Effie up for your help with the law," Haymitch scoffed. "Some kind of deal, huh?"

Adler shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"He twisted everything; what you were willing to do, your desire for Effie and my single minded goal to end this damn law. He had counted on that desperation and warped it to his advantage, thinking that I would take the deal…. thinking that I didn't care enough about Effie or … my children."

Effie stared at him. He had never spoken that out loud to anyone, least of all to a man he barely knew.

"It was a good plan to make it look like Effie was in your debt when she kept accepting those information from you. Easier to twist Effie's hand that way. But he still needed to take care of me," he said, turning to address Effie. "He needed to get rid of me, take me out of the picture and that's why he made the deal with me because once I've accepted his deal, he would have locked me in."

"You can't back out," Adler nodded, the understanding dawned on him. "When the law ends, you'd be forced to divorce her whether or not you want to just to honour the agreement. Effie would have loathed you."

"She would have and I figured that was his plan all along. I won't be surprised if that slinking snake turns around and tell you," he said to Effie, "that I was more than happy to give you up. Never mind the fact that he had also set  _you_  up, making it seemed like you owed Adler for the information. It was smart to have three separate deals going on without one knowing of the other. Divide and conquer."

Effie bit her thumb in distress. "He's my cousin."

"At times, we find out that we don't really know someone as well as we would like to think that we do," Adler said sympathetically. "What do we do now?"

"I'd like to see him rot in jail but he hasn't done anything against the law, unfortunately," Haymitch shrugged. "Out of curiousity, have you figured out the rest of his plans, yet?"

The smirk on his face was telling. Haymitch understood Elias' plan before the rest of them did. He was not made one of the figureheads of the Rebellion for nothing – he could unravel plans and strategise faster than anyone else that Effie knew.

"Are there more?" Adler asked, surprised. "Isn't it enough what he's done so far?"

"I think he's only just started," Haymitch said. "Think for a second – why go to that length to break my family apart?"

Adler's brows crinkled contemplatively. "Well, I… My feelings for Effie are – "

"He wants me to be with Klaus? Isn't that why he wants you to give me up?" Effie tried, nibbling worriedly on her bottom lip.

"Yes, that's it exactly. But  _why_? _"_

"I'm not sure I'm following…." Adler trailed off.

"It's another set-up," Haymitch exhaled. "If you marry Effie, you'll be family. You'd be indebted to him, in a way and he could easily control  _your_  business. Look, I don't give a shit about Elias. He can't control me. He's got nothing on me unless I accept his deal and he's counting on me to accept it. But you," Haymitch chuckled, "if he gives you Effie, he'll control you. And men like Elias are all about being in control. I don't suppose you'd want to offend him, what with your shared history as business partner so you'll just keep giving until one day, you realise far too late, that you're not director of that company," he waved his hands carelessly, "but he is. He would have a hold over you."

Adler paled considerably.

"An entire company for a trophy wife," Haymitch's smiled sardonically, the envy creeping back into his heart. "A win-win."

"Haymitch, stop it."

"That's what you'll be, Effie," he frowned. "You'd never have to work for anything, never be more than that."

"Stop it," she hissed.

It was only when he felt her trembling hand blindly clutching on to his knee that Haymitch snapped out of it. He turned towards her to see the flush spreading across her cheeks. He covered her hand with his, fingers curling around her closed fist.

"Effie?"

There was nothing but a chilly silence from her. Effie stared straight ahead, looking at nothing in particular. Her face was a blank mask. By now, Haymitch knew this look far too well. Effie was slipping.

"Is she alright?" Adler inched forward in his seat. Not knowing what the problem was, Adler handed him a glass of water for Effie. Haymitch shook his head.

"Sweetheart?"

Haymitch called out for her again. He touched her clammy cheek, the other still on her hand. Efie's hands were cold. "Look at me, Effs. Hey, hey listen to me. Focus on my voice."

He gave her shoulder a shake.

"Effie," he snapped. "Tristan fell from his crib!"

Effie jumped, jerking back away from him but he held on to her tight. She drew a sharp breath. Her eyes darted around the room before it eventually found his.

"Haymitch?"

"Effs," he smiled. "Where'd you go?"

"I – Am I at home? Is Tristan alright?"

"He's with Peeta. You're – "

"He's like a brother to me," she said out of the blue, suddenly remembering what had transpired since the last half an hour. Haymitch sighed. It was always like this. She would be lost and then, unprompted, she would remember what was going on. Her mind was disjointed.

"I think you're wrong. You're both wrong," she threw Adler a look, her voice was sharp and on edge. "Elias would never do that to me. I'm his cousin. He only wants the best for me."

"Sure, he wants the best for you, sweetheart, but it doesn't hurt if it's the best for him, too," Haymitch scowled.

He held on to her hand, fingers laced together, refusing to let her slip away again. It had been awhile since her last episode. If he was honest, he thought it was long overdue. He had expected an episode when the twins were born, particularly during the time when they couldn't bring the boys home but Effie had not caved despite being upset. The anxiety and stress was usually a common trigger for her episodes.

"Elias is a good man," she breathed, eyes wide and unfocused. "Just like Felix."

 _Great,_  Haymitch sighed in exasperation.  _Now she's just delusional._

There was a movement to his right and Haymitch was reminded of Adler's presence.

"I think it's time you leave," Haymitch said as politely as he could. "You've said what you needed to say."

"He's a good man, Haymitch," Effie repeated, clutching on to Haymitch's shirt, desperate to make him understand. "Elias won't do that. Ask him! Why don't you ask him and then you'll know."

"What's happening to her?"

"I said leave," Haymitch gritted his teeth.

He turned back towards Effie, focusing all of his attention on her. Haymitch pulled her towards him, wrapped her tightly with an arm around her shoulder as she pressed her face on the crook of his neck.

"Okay, sweetheart," he whispered in her ear. "Just focus on your breathing. I'll ask him."

Adler stood awkwardly. He raised his hand towards Effie, as if to comfort her as Haymitch was doing but thought better of it. He studied them until Haymitch frowned at him, jerking his head towards the door.

It was only when Haymitch heard the front door close that he scooted back in his seat, holding Effie an arm's length away. Haymitch cupped her cheeks. He brushed the tears away.

"You alright?" he questioned.

"I don't know," she said, frowning a little. She twisted the end of Haymitch's shirt in her hand. "There's too much going on. I – I feel overwhelmed. We had a fight in the middle of our children's baby shower. Then I found out that … Elias and … Klaus… I – I just…"

"I know," he nodded. "Difficult to wrap your head around it, yeah?"

"Haymitch?" her voice trembled. "What if something happen to us?"

The vulnerability and helplessness in her voice as she asked that question reminded him of the battered Effie Trinket they had extracted and then brought to Thirteen years ago. A sudden surge of protectiveness enveloped him. It was his duty to protect her and the children.  _His._  And this time he would not fail.

"Nothing's going to happen to us," he told her fiercely. "Nothing."

Effie wound her arms around his waist in response and pressed herself up to him on the sofa.

"What if Elias finds out about today and decides to – "

"What was that you said, Effs? He's a good man, isn't he? He wouldn't hurt you," he lied through his teeth. It was better to let Effie believe in her cousin. Let him worry about the repercussions that today would bring. "Why don't you check on the boys?"

At the mention of the twins, Effie lifted her head up. Haymitch knew that would work in diverting her attention. As long as he kept her occupied, there would be a lesser chance of her retreating back into the dark corners of her mind.

"You wanna check on them? Bring them back, sing them a song and put them to sleep," he said.

"You hate when I sing to them."

"Cause you sound like a toad and I fear for their ear drums but since the boys like it – what can I say?" he shrugged.

XxX

He walked her out of the house and needless to say, when they saw Adler standing on their front porch, they were both startled.

"Klaus!"

"Hello," Adler smiled. "Are you – "

"I'm fine," she squeaked with a hand on her chest. "I – I'm sorry you had to see that. But thank you for everything, Klaus. For coming to the baby shower and for… for being honest. I'm going to check on my children now. Goodbye."

"Goodbye, Effie."

The two men watched as she disappeared into Peeta's house.

"You're still here," Haymitch said. "Why's that?"

"Our conversation had not been properly concluded and it does not feel right to leave without first resolving the issue," Adler said, taking a long drag from his cigarette. He fished out a pack from his jacket pocket and offered it to Haymitch.

"I don't smoke," Haymitch shook his head. "I drink."

He uncapped his silver flask and took a swig.

"You drink with the babies around?"

"Effie doesn't let me get drunk," he swallowed a mouthful of whisky. "It's a fine line to tread; to drink without getting drunk."

"How's that working out for you?"

Haymitch paused. He repeated the question over in his head, searching for the judgmental undertone in it.

Arching an eyebrow, Haymitch asked, "are we here to discuss my drinking?"

"No, my apologies, Mr. Abernathy."

The cicadas began their song. The birds flew overhead back to their nests. In the distance, Haymitch could hear a wail and he began his two month old usual guessing game of  _'who is crying'_. Next to him, Adler flicked the ends of his cigarette while Haymitch continued drinking quietly. He could see Effie's silhouette on the window standing next to a tall man who could only be Felix.

"She loves you," Adler stated suddenly.

It was not what Haymitch was expecting but he found himself saying, "yes, she does."

It felt hypocritical because Haymitch had never acknowledged Effie's feelings for him. When she had admitted the same to him at the hospital, he had passed it off as some kind of transference but now, he didn't know why he needed Adler to know that but it felt important for Adler to understand that there was no room for him in Effie's heart.

"It defied logic especially since it's you but love had never made much sense," Adler said. "Your reputation precedes you. Everyone in the Capitol knows who you are."

Haymitch clenched his fist. He didn't need to hear this.

"You're a well-known drunk. Rude and dangerous," Adler went on. "Elias spoke of you, too, of course, and to be honest, I didn't have a very good impression of you."

Haymitch snorted.

"Yeah, well, that isn't news to me."

"I must say, everyone who knew Effie thought she was mad to marry you as if working with you wasn't enough, she now had to live out her life with you. She only tarnished her reputation which by the end of the Rebellion was in tatters. I admit, I thought you didn't deserve someone as wonderful as her. She could have done so much better than a drunk."

"You don't even know her," Haymitch sneered. "You people need to stop thinking you know best when you don't."

"You are absolutely right. As I found out today, I didn't know her well. Only what I saw from when she appeared on television. Likewise, I didn't know you personally either. I don't know what you and Effie had gone through but being in the Rebellion together must have created some bond between you both. A bond I could never hope to replicate."

Haymitch frowned but held his tongue.

"I have heard stories that Effie experienced some very difficult times during the war," Adler admitted. "Unfortunately, I am not aware of the details."

"You shouldn't be aware of the details," Haymitch grunted.

Adler gave a curt nod.

"You know of the details of it, I presume and you could help her go through it."

Haymitch kept quiet, letting Adler believe that unlike him, Haymitch knew the torture Effie suffered in prison.

"You and Effie are the ones who had deal with the effects of it and if you could help her get through her life, who are we to say that she was mad to marry you?" Adler thought out loud. "What happened earlier," he nodded towards the house, "does it happened often?"

"It has happened a few times."

"I wouldn't have known what to do," Adler said to himself. "Is it true, though, that you didn't want to marry Effie?"

"I didn't want to be married."

"Elias told me you didn't care at all about Effie. He painted a picture that made me think she was in an abusive marriage with you."

Haymitch choked on his whiskey.

"What?!"

"From what I saw, the way you treated her told me a different story," Adler said. He either had not heard Haymitch's question or he had chosen to ignore it. "You couldn't see the way you look at her or the panic in your eyes when she was having her… breakdown, if that's what it's called. If you could see yourself, perhaps, you'd realise how deeply you feel for her."

"Listen," Haymitch rounded on that man.

Adler was quick to move a step back. He raised both hands in a surrendering gesture, telling Haymitch that he meant no harm.

"I don't mean to offend you. I can never have her. I knew that. I think I've known that since I first met her - she showed no interest in me except to talk about her family here in Twelve and when she was pregnant, that was all she would talk about. What you have here – a wife and children – I know some people in my position would kill to have that.

Haymitch shook his head and stepped away from Adler. He didn't know what to say to that. It wasn't long before Adler spoke again.

"I am aware that your appeal was rejected for the second time. You must have your own personal reasons for wanting to continue with it but I hope it is not because of Effie," he said. "I still want to help, in any way that I can."

Haymitch brought the flask to his lips and gulped the contents down. He thought about it for a minute.

"I don't want anything in return," Adler added.

 _Isn't that a relief?_ , Haymitch thought.

"Your information has been useful to us," Haymitch admitted. "We could … use some help."

"Okay," Adler smiled, releasing a breath. He nodded at Haymitch. "Okay, that's… that's good. What can I do?"

"I only have one condition," Haymitch said before Adler could get ahead of himself. "You route your information to Plutarch. Not through my wife. I don't want her to be involved with you anymore than she already has. I think it would be best not to give Elias any more ammunition."

That was the partial truth.


	51. Chapter 51

The morning light filtered through the branches of the tree and into their room. On the bed, Haymitch stretched lazily and reached out for the warm body next to him. He pulled Effie close, her back against his chest and hooked a leg over hers. If he had been fully awake and aware, he would not have done any of that at all.

Effie smiled to herself. She loved Haymitch best when he was hovering in a limbo at the edge of a light sleep. It was the only time he did not have his walls up and it made him more open, more affectionate. Morning like today was amongst her favourite. Morning like today made her fall for him even more each time. This kind of morning was dangerous for her heart but it was the kind she liked.

She turned in his arms, brushing strands of hair back from his face. His eyes fluttered open at the soft caresses.

"Morning," she smiled.

Haymitch glanced at the window. "It is indeed. Wish it was still dark," he mumbled, "I need more sleep."

"Lucky for you, the boys are still -"

He covered her mouth with his hand. "Don't say it. You'll curse it and they'll wake up."

Effie laughed lightly at that.

"Curse it? That's a superstition I never heard off."

Haymitch drifted off to sleep again. Effie ran through the mental list she had in her mind of things she needed to accomplish today and decided that everything else could wait. She lay wrapped in his arms, awake and contented.

XxX

Effie asked after Adler once as she cleaned the kitchen, putting the cutleries and plates away, a day after the baby shower.

Where Adler was concerned, Haymitch had spoken to Plutarch just before he left District Twelve for the Capitol, keeping him abreast of the situation between Adler and Effie.

"Between you and me, Elias Lewis has always made me wary. There's something about that man that I do not trust," Plutarch told him. "But I can work with Klaus."

Effie looked up at him expectantly with a dish cloth slung over her shoulders. His lips twitched at the sight of her, a smile threatening to break out. Even now, seeing her in an acclimatize atmosphere of domesticity still felt surreal, it made him feel slightly,  _slightly,_  maudlin. He never would have thought that the bothersome escort of District Twelve that irked him years ago was the same woman standing in front of him now but the journey she made from being an escort – the first personality that Haymitch knew and knew the longest - to being a mother was harrowing; it made her who she is today.

"Don't worry about him," Haymitch told her, squeezing her hand lightly.

He meant what he said. Adler was no longer her business and Effie understood this. She nodded and went back to work. She did not bring up his name.

For the next two days, Effie occupied herself with the state of the house, dealing with the aftermath of the baby shower. She cleaned the house, a task she dragged him into. Haymitch groaned and sighed and stared at the mop in his hand with obvious disdain until Effie sighed in exasperation.

"I can't imagine you doing this back at your apartment in the Capitol," he remarked.

"I don't. I paid someone to clean my apartment every week. But," she looked at him pointedly, holding on to a feeding bottle, "it's you and me now, and the boys need their mother so  _you_  do it."

She smiled at him and disappeared into the nursery.

On the third night when the children finally went to sleep, Effie decided that it was time to unwrap the presents. Haymitch stretched out on the sofa with his silver flask in hand while Effie sat cross legged on the floor with torn wrapping papers strewn around her, working through the pile of gifts and sorting them into some kind of system that he could not be bothered about.

There were a lot of toys, naturally and plenty of clothes and mittens, too. Effie loved those because at this age, the boys worked through their clothes faster than they could be washed.

Annie's gifts were handmade. She gifted Tristan and Ethan each with a blanket in matching colours. The only differentiating factor was the boys' initials – T.C.A and E.H.A - sewn at the corner of the blanket.

Absentmindedly, Haymitch twirled a golden curl in his finger and released it, watching it bounce back into position.

"There's something we need to discuss," he started, propping his head up on the armrest.

Effie was inspecting a rather large hamper, looking for the wishing card to find out who had given it to them when she paused. She turned to look at him.

"It's about your cousin."

His eyes never left her as Effie pushed herself off the floor and sat at the edge of the sofa. He ran a finger up her arm. "We're not going to aggravate Elias. I'm not going to accept his deal but trust me, he will keep pushing," Haymitch said.

Haymitch traced the scar on her upper arm. "How'd you get this?" he asked, distracted. Haymitch knew where it came from but he had always wondered how. When he lay awake at night long after she had fallen asleep, sometimes, he caught himself with a burning curiousity to know the stories behind each of her scars, stories Effie guarded close to her heart. Of course, he never expected today to be different. She would never tell him.

Effie pulled his hand away and rested it on her lap, lacing their fingers together to keep his hand still.

Haymitch exhaled, focusing his attention back to the issue at hand.

"Adler won't say a word to Elias and neither will we. We'll keep Elias thinking that he still has control for as long as we can."

"That doesn't sound very – "

"I know," Haymitch nodded. "But if he knows the truth, he may try something else and we'll have to figure it all out over again. We already know what he wants now, so we'll play it that way."

"Okay," she acquiesced. "If you think this is the best way then…I trust you. I do. I just… I don't know how to look at him anymore, Haymitch."

Haymitch said nothing to that.

"I don't want him to harm our family in his greed."

"He can try," Haymitch muttered. "I won't let him."

XxX

In the months to come, Haymitch and Effie argued over how Haymitch was spending his time. It was a constant struggle for him. There were days when all he wanted was to be alone with a drink but there were also days when he needed to focus on the third appeal but he could not leave Effie to deal with the twins alone. They were a handful.

"You need to learn to juggle your time," said Effie.

Haymitch slammed the refrigerator close, turning to face Effie with a displeased frown on his face. He handed the carrot and parsnips over to Effie who quickly set to work, making puree for the boys.

" _Juggle…_ oh, yeah? Maybe I should forget the law and find a damn job in a circus instead," he snorted and shook his head.

Effie glared at him, forcing a bowl of mashed vegetables into his hand.

"Feed Ethan," she snapped.

"What the hell is this?" he lifted the bowl up and sniffed it. Haymitch blanched. "Why are we feeding them this? Can they eat?"

"Of course they can, Haymitch," she shook her head exasperatedly.

Tristan and Ethan reached their 6 months mark a week ago. Haymitch watched on as she dressed the boys up but the amused grin disappeared the moment he couldn't tell one boy from the other.

"They're the same," he complained.

"They're twins, in case you haven't notice," she retorted, carrying both boys in her arms.

"No, look, their clothes are the exact same. How… Which one's Tristan?"

Effie lifted her right arm slightly and Haymitch took the boy from her. He tossed the brown knitted hat away so he could tell them apart.

Effie gaped at him. She opened her mouth to say something, thought better of it and walked off.

The moment he walked into the living room, he understood why Effie had dressed them up. She had bought two small cupcakes from Peeta's bakery with a candle each claiming that her babies had reached a milestone. Effie lighted the candles up and persuaded Haymitch to blow one out on behalf of Ethan, an act Haymitch adamantly refused to partake.

"You're crazy," he muttered. "They don't know anything."

She ignored him and blew the candles out herself, kissing each boy in turn. Effie placed the cupcakes on the coffee table in front of them, set the camera on timer while Haymitch waited patiently with both boys on his lap. He had decided to keep quiet and let her do what she wanted knowing that if he aggravated her he would never have any peace trying to work on the appeal later that night. It was better that way. Effie ran towards the coffee table as the timer started its countdown and took her place next to Haymitch.

"A family photo," she grinned.

And then Ethan destroyed her picture perfect family photo by splattering the cupcake all over the table. He gurgled happily, grubby hands smeared with frosting. The camera went off. It was at this point that Haymitch wondered if Effie had read too much parenting books that some of the information was lost on her. At this stage, the boys were able to interact and engage and they were certainly very curious about things, grabbing everything that Haymitch and Effie placed in front of them. They could roll on their sides, they could be pulled into a sitting position and they, or in this case, Ethan could certainly reach out to smash a cupcake.

Haymitch laughed at Effie's horrified expression.

"Ethan, that was not a very nice thing to do, young man," she nagged.

Haymitch rolled his eyes.

"Don't listen to her," Haymitch whispered conspiratorially. He walked past Effie to wash the boy's hand.

Effie never gave up which explained the photo of the twins at 6 months hanging on a peg next to their sonograms. The blue string Haymitch had strung up in their nursery was slowly filling up with important, momentous events that marked their development.

Two weeks after they turned 6 months, Effie was hissing under her breath, muttering darkly at Haymitch for endangering her son's life (she refused to raise her voice with the boys around). He glared at her stoically, arms folded across his chest.

"Nothing happened," he told her for the umpteenth time. "He didn't roll off the sofa. I caught him in -"

"If he did," Effie propped her hands on her hips, "he could have a concussion."

"But he  _didn't,_ " he argued. "Will you calm down, you deranged woman?"

The fact that Tristan was safe and did not fall from the sofa mattered very little to Effie. It was that Haymitch had placed him on the sofa negligently in the first place - a crime that was unforgivable in Effie's eyes - that made her angry. He swore he had only turned away for  _just a second_  but as Effie said, accidents happened in a matter of seconds.

"You're going to be one of those overprotective mothers, aren't you?" he asked snidely.

The next day, Effie left early in the morning to collect the baby bonus cash payout promised by the Government when the children turned 6 months. She returned home with two thick baby mats which she spread next to each other on the floor of their living room.

Haymitch had shaken his head at that but assisted her by pushing the coffee table aside to make room. She carried their play gym down from the nursery and placed it in the middle of the mat for the boys to play with along with several of their age appropriate toys.

Unexpectedly, it soon became one of Haymitch's favourite places in the house simply because he could sprawl and lie on the mat with the boys. If Effie knew this, she kept it to herself.

It was no different that afternoon when Effie woke up from her badly needed nap to find Haymitch at the living room with the boys.

"What would you like to have for dinner?"

"Don't know," he answered.

Haymitch was lying on his sides, head propped on his elbow as he watched Ethan on his stomach. The boy was inching forward little by little trying to reach out for one of the colourful blocks Haymitch had put just slightly out of his reach.

"Meatloaf?"

"We had that two days ago," she pointed out.

"Yeah, because meatloaf's the only thing you've mastered so I know you won't burn that shit down which means we will have food and I don't have to go out and get us dinner,  _again._ "

"Language," she reprimanded him. "I know you can cook so why don't you do it the next time? Instead of just making fun of me - that's much more productive for the all of us," she said.

Effie grabbed one of the audio monitors with her and disappeared into the kitchen.

"Your mother's a funny woman," he told Tristan as he scooped the boy from the edge of the mat.

Haymitch settled the child on his chest and gave the toddler a green plastic ring to play with. Tristan waved it enthusiastically around, accidentally hitting Haymitch multiple times in the face.

"Okay, I think that's enough," Haymitch grumbled after one too many hits. "What are these things anyway?"

He looked around him, taking in the assortment of different shapes and colours of toys strewn over the place.

 _Lucky kids_ , he thought to himself. His brother certainly did not have these many toys growing up. The toys they had growing up were those made by their father which was few and far between. His father was a good man but he had a terrible temper, a result of a hard life in the district. Before the twins were born, he hardly gave it much thought but lately, he caught himself wondering if he would be just like his father. Haymitch did not want his children to fear him.

"Listen, peanut," he said suddenly, looking into the same pair of grey eyes that he saw each time he bothered to look at a mirror. "I don't know what kind of father I'll be. A terrible one, probably, if we take that incident of you nearly falling off the sofa as an example. I want to be good to you and your brother but here's the thing, peanut, I don't know how to do all these things that your mother does; these singing you both to sleep or changing your diapers or taking pictures of you both because she wants to preserve the memories. Yeah… I'm no good at that."

Next to him, Ethan made an unhappy noise. Haymitch gave him the red block he had been trying to grab.

"You gotta grow up a little faster, alright, and then I can show you things," he smiled. "What do you think Ethan here will like, huh? You think he'll like to climb trees?"

Tristan babbled and smiled, showing off his gums to Haymitch.

"See, I can teach him that. I can teach you how to swim in the lake or ride a bike. I can do that," Haymitch nodded to himself. "I can show you how to fix the light bulb or feed the geese."

On the coffee table, the audio monitor blinked green repeatedly, catching every noise and every word.

"It's gonna be rough out there. We can't protect you forever. Your mother will try, oh, she will definitely try but she can't keep you in the house all the time, can she? If you fall and cut yourself, I'm not gonna run to you and hold you when you cry. You have to learn to pick yourself up."

Tristan rested his head on his father's chest, the green ring clasped firmly in his small hand. Haymitch patted his back.

"Your mother will fuss over you. I won't. But that doesn't mean that I don't care. I'm gonna be there, you should know that. I'll watch over you and your brother and your mother, too, of course. Effie's a silly woman but she's my wife," Haymitch smirked. "You know, years ago – she was a different person back then, we all were – she was walking around in those ridiculous shoes and twisted her ankle. So instead of hobbling off to find an ice pack and help herself, she sat on the floor with tears streaming down her face, clutching her ankle. She looked like a clown; her make-up was smeared all over. Sometimes when your mother's angry with me, I picture her as she was on that day and she don't seem so scary anymore."

"I had to carry that poor, ridiculous woman back to her room and call the doctor. I told her nobody can walk in those heels but she won't listen," he brushed Tristan's hair back. The movement caused the boy to lift his head up. He let go of the plastic toy and grabbed Haymitch's nose, not understanding a word but smiling at his father, still.

"I didn't tell you that story for the fun of it, you know," Haymitch said. "The point is when you're older and especially when you're all grown up, you gotta look out for your mother 'cause by then, I would have enough dirt on you to embarrass you in front of your friends if you so much as disrespect her. You got to be there for her. Your mother's strong but she's also fragile. Bad things have happened to her, things I don't know about. She will need you both and… It's good, you know, that Effie's got you both. I'm glad. I am," he pushed himself up and sat Tristan on the mat next to his brother. "Don't worry about me. I have been alone for years until … the law but worry about your mother."

XxX

In the kitchen, Effie stood rooted to the spot. She took a deep shuddering breath. Her hand shook as she reached out to switch off the audio monitor. Haymitch was still talking to the boys but it felt too private for her to be listening in especially since she was absolutely certain that Haymitch was not aware that the monitor in the living room was on. He must have forgotten about it somehow because if he had not, Haymitch would never have said any of those things when he knew she could hear them.

Effie leaned against the kitchen counter, thinking and processing it all. She wondered if Haymitch would have said those things to the boys if they could understand any of it. Effie believed that it was because of their age and the fact that they would not remember any of it that made him open up easily to them.

She moved to the doorway and peered outside, watching Haymitch with his sons. She smiled to herself. Maybe the children would be able to soothe his soul and show him that there is a better life. Maybe their innocence could patch the broken pieces in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had so much fun writing this chapter & I hope you like it, too. I know it's like a filler chapter but after all the drama I think a little bit of insight into their family life would be a good break.
> 
> Also, a few weeks back, whiskeymitch sent me this prompt 'Okay prompt... I always had this hc that Haymitch deep down always wanted kids but thought he didn't deserve that kinda life so he sentences himself to solitary confinement and drinks away the pain. So my prompt is this: Haymitch talks to the twins and shows his softer side when he thinks Effie can't hear, saying stuff about what he's gonna teach them and that he's gonna protect them and their mom and other cute stuff like that, but he forgets about the baby monitor and Effie hears every word.' 
> 
> I thought it was an important for Haymitch's character so instead of writing and posting it in Everything In Transit, I made it part of Consortium itself. So thank you very much for the prompt!


	52. Chapter 52

There was something about the way she smile that pierced through his being and made him think that all that was bad could be good again. It made him believe.

He had known her for years and he knew to look for her real smile. Effie smiled with her eyes and if she is happy, he would know. The smile on her lips was a mask and that he did not trust. That was the smile she put on during the Games.

But tonight, her smile was radiant. She beamed at him each time he caught her gaze. Her blue eyes sparkled like sapphire gems. Haymitch chewed on his food thoughtfully, wondering what had put her in such a brilliant mood.

"Do you like the food?" she asked.

"It's passable," he swallowed and added hastily, "it's good."

Haymitch began to get suspicious when she came out with two cups of tea and his bottle of whiskey sometime later. She snuggled up to him on the sofa, watching some mindless show on television.

"Are you trying to get me drunk?" he teased, pouring a good measure of whiskey into his tea.

"No, I'm trying to get you to relax."

"Who says I'm not?"

Effie smirked at him and stood up, tugging on to his hand.

"It's past midnight," she whispered, looping her arms around his neck. She kissed the corner of his lips. "Let's go to bed."

Haymitch soon find out that when she said bed, she did not mean sleep. Effie straddled him as her fingers made quick work of the buttons of his shirt exposing more and more of his skin. She kissed him deeply and stroked the side of his face. Haymitch moaned quietly as he allowed his hand that was roaming her back to drop lower and lower to her legs. Her skin prickled at the feel of his calloused palm on her thighs when he slid his hands under her nightgown.

"I must have done something right today," he murmured, lifting his head off the pillow to press a kiss to her breast.

"When I'm in a good mood, it's because you did something right?"

"Yes."

"But never when I'm in a bad mood?" she asked.

"Never," he nodded.

Haymitch watched her hungrily as Effie pulled the nightgown off. His hands were on her in seconds; exploring, mapping and tracing faint flawed lines on her skin. Effie squirmed uncomfortably but Haymitch stayed her hand.

"Can you turn the bedside lamp off?" she asked.

From the first night that they were together, Haymitch had always turned the lights off. A year ago, he thought it would be easier for them consummate their marriage if they did not have to see each other but that one time had set a precedent into the future and each time, she always asked him to turn it off.

"It's okay," he told her quietly. "It's just me. I'm your husband. It's okay, Effs."

He kept his eyes on her as he ran his thumb over some of her scars.

"See," he said, "I haven't run away screaming."

She gave him a small smile. Slowly, Effie began to warm up to him again. They spent a lot of time kissing. Haymitch wanted nothing more than to flip her over and take her but he allowed her the space to be comfortable, to set the pace until she was ready.

Her thumb brushed against a thin scar on his ribcage.

"How did you get this?"

"I fell from a tree," he answered her after sometime. "It was stupid. It was arrogance, and arrogance can be a dangerous thing. Told my brother I could climbed the tree higher than he ever could and the branch snapped."

He smiled at the memory but before he could feel anything else at the memory of his brother, Effie kissed him. Haymitch thought of nothing else since then but he saw how Effie's eyes kept flickering towards to the audio monitor.

"They're asleep," he panted, reaching up to palm her breast. "God, Effs, don't think about them when you're naked on top of me."

That made her giggled quietly.

"It just feels  _so_  wrong when our kids are just next door," she moaned.

"If they hear anything, they won't remember it," he said as he rubbed her clit. "I can't take you teasing me anymore, sweetheart. If you're going to fu –"

Haymitch broke off. His eyes fluttered close, mouth opened slightly as he felt Effie taking him in. Without missing a beat, Effie started to rock back and forth, bringing him deeper inside. Haymitch groaned loudly. His hands flew to her hips, guiding and lifting her as she moved. It did not take long for Effie to feel her muscles tensing and coiling. She leaned forward with her breast pressing against his chest. Haymitch fisted her hair in his hand, anchoring her to him as he grunted loudly in her ear.

Their fluid movement gave way to erratic thrusting. Effie moaned and writhed with Haymitch holding her close, his hips lifted up each time to meet her.

Time had taught them a lot about each other. Haymitch knew her weak, sensitive spots and all the right places and ways to kiss her. He could distract her, make her moan and leave her wanting more if he kissed her properly. Effie played the game just as well. She knew how to make him lose control and how to hold him over the edge until she could coax the word 'please' out of his mouth.

Effie rode him until Haymitch became breathless and until the sound of their panting filled the room. She turned her face to bury it against her neck, nails digging into the skin on his shoulder when the orgasm shook her body. Haymitch wrapped his arms around her petite frame and pressed her close. With a loud grunt, Haymitch met his release.

"You have to tell me what I did today so we can have a repeat of this," he said the moment he caught his breath.

Effie pushed herself up but made no move to get off him. The radiant smile had given way to a gentle, loving one. Haymitch swallowed thickly; his Adam's apple bobbing up and down.

She touched his face gently. Her soft thumb brushed against his cheekbones, a finger trailed down his nose. Effie thought about the conversation he had with the twins earlier.

_I don't know what kind of father I'll be._

He would be a good father. Effie believed that whole heartedly. She picture him with his two boys, teaching them all that he had promised and her heart swell with contentment. She thought about how he had asked them to look out for her. Laced between his threats to embarrass them and his insecurities was the unwavering promise that he would protect them, protect her and his family. This man is the father to her children and there was no one else she would rather have.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" he asked.

Haymitch has his flaws. She has hers. But what Haymitch never realized was that his flaws and his fears made him into the man he was now and it made him into a good person. Haymitch was damaged but that experience and that lesson had taught him things he would not have learnt otherwise.

"You're a good man," she whispered.

_And I love you, and I hope one day, you'd understand just how much._

XxX

Within the space of three months, the twins had started to crawl; Ethan first, followed by Tristan. Effie and Haymitch realized then that nothing in their house was safe. They rummaged through everything curiously; scooting on their bottom and propelling themselves forward on their stomach before learning that they move faster on all fours. Effie was quick to call Felix, asking him to ship safety gates to Twelve which Haymitch put up at the top and foot of the stairs and the entrance to the kitchen.

As the months crept up on them, so did the third appeal. It was a fine Thursday morning when Haymitch left District Twelve for the Capitol. The twins were used to the big space in the living room which allowed them to roam and crawl uninhibited. The train's small space made them feel trapped. It was their first train ride and in order to keep them occupied, Effie tried to engage them with the sceneries outside which worked for about fifteen minutes. Mostly, the twins were cranky and uncomfortable which affected Haymitch's mood. By the time they reached the Capitol, Haymitch and his sons made for a terrible company and the only person with a cheery smile on her face was Effie.

Haymitch held the train door open for Effie and as she passed by him, Effie stretched on her toes to plant a chaste kiss on his lips.

"Don't look so sour," she smiled. "The children will be in a far better mood once we're off the train."

Effie, as usual, was right. Once they were on the platform, the sudden bluster of activities made Ethan excited and as Haymitch carried him, Ethan wriggled and kicked his little legs. He squealed excitedly, waving his hands around. Effie had an easier job with Tristan who was more subdued, watching his surrounding curiously with his big grey eyes.

Felix was waiting for them at the train station and the moment he saw them, he ran forward.

"Oh, my darling baby Ethan," he cooed.

Delighted at the chance to palm the overactive nine months' old toddler to someone else, Haymitch handed Ethan over to Felix. He went off to check on their luggage.

"Look at you! Look at you both. So, so chubby!" Felix exclaimed, pinching each of his nephew's cheeks in turn.

Effie smiled indulgently at her cousin before turning to Tristan. "Say hello to Uncle Felix," Effie said. She took Tristan's hand and waved it at Felix's direction.

"Whatever did you feed these two, Effie? They're certainly grown since I last saw them!"

"That's what kids do," Haymitch rolled his eyes, "they grow."

"Ah, there you are my little ray of sunshine. I know I can always count on you to brighten up my day," Felix muttered under his breath.

"Oh, enough you two," Effie chuckled. "Let's go before the children gets cranky again."

The group got as far as the entrance of the train station when a sudden bright flash of light blinded them enough to make them stop. Effie blinked in confusion, looking for the source of it as did Haymitch. His eyes swept through the crowded station and at corner of the station, hiding behind a public phone box, Haymitch saw the photographer. He would have gone over to the man but a sudden movement to Haymitch's right distracted him. A young man with tousled green hair pushed past the crowd towards them. The photographer had given up the idea of hiding from his subjects and followed closely behind. Haymitch put two and two together.

"We need to get out of here," Haymitch said urgently, steering Effie by her elbow.

Felix followed Haymitch's gaze and scowled when he saw the man.

"Benedict," Felix muttered out of the corner of his mouth to Haymitch. "He's been pestering me for days. I think he might have followed me here. I'm so sorry."

"Mr. Abernathy!" Benedict called out. Haymitch turned to look over his shoulder and saw the mini recorder in Benedict's hand. He was running after them breathlessly. "Are you here for the appeal?"

Haymitch cursed under his breath. That questioned had managed to capture the attention of the curious crowd. Another flash of light went off.

"Please don't take any photos of my children," Effie requested politely, not that it mattered because the photographer raised his camera for a close-up of Tristan. "Haymitch," Effie's voiced out uncertainly, "keep them away -"

Haymitch stepped in front of Effie, cutting off the photographer's view of her and Tristan. Next to him, Felix lowered Ethan into the stroller, pulling the shade down just enough to shield the child. He then straightened up and winked at the photographer. Haymitch looked at him as if he had lost his mind.

"I'll make a nice cover for your papers tomorrow," Felix smiled. "The babies are not as photogenic as me. So go on then, take my picture."

Ignoring Felix, Benedict shoved the recorder in Haymitch's face, "this is the third time that you will be filing an appeal. Is the third time's a charm?"

Haymitch frowned at the invasion. He wanted to push Benedict's hand away but it could be taken wrongly and he really did not want the news to run a story of him assaulting a reporter. Once was enough. He had learnt from it.

"How optimistic are you that it will succeed?"

"It will," Haymitch growled. "If not this appeal, then the next or the one after."

"It would seem that you are not willing to let this go," the reporter queried further.

"If the Rebellion has taught you anything, it's that everything ends. The law won't take 75 years to end, I can assure you that," Haymitch told Benedict. "I won't answer any more questions. Let us through."

Haymitch wrapped his arm around Effie's shoulder and guided her out using his body to block the photographer from taking any further photos of them. The crowd had swelled in numbers making it nearly impossible to make their way towards the car Plutarch had waiting for them.

Effie and Haymitch were no strangers to reporters and photographers. They knew exactly how determine and pesky they could be so it came as no surprise to either of them when Benedict side stepped them to walk alongside Effie.

"Mrs. Abernathy," he raised the recorder up to her, "just a question. Only one question, if you please! What is your personal opinion of the law and do you agree with what your husband is doing?"

In her arms, Tristan fidgeted. Effie's hand rested lightly on the back of his head as she pressed the toddler closer to her chest. All she wanted was to protect her son from the crowd.

"She's not answering your question," Haymitch snapped at the reporter.

"Does your husband have your fullest support in repealing the law? He will make you a divorcee if the appeal succeeds."

She stopped dead in her tracks. The stroller Felix was pushing behind them collided into Haymitch's leg. He whispered something in her ears but Effie had somehow managed to block him out. He glanced at her petrified face and knew he needed to do something. Haymitch tugged on her hand but Effie stood rooted to the spot.

Before he could stop her, Effie turned to look at the reporter and then stared directly at the photographer whose device was focused on Effie. It was blinking red, recording the entire scene.

"Haymitch is trying to help everyone else who has been victimized by the law," she said. Her next words were spoken quietly but the camera caught every word of it, "sometimes, you have to tear out a limb to save the body."

Alarm bells started ringing in his head. The media would have a field day with that. By next morning, Haymitch was proven right.

"Do you want the law to end as much as he does? And if so, are you reasons aligned with him or purely selfish? We have speculated – "

Effie could not hear the rest of his question. Her breathing had quickened. Her eyes darted around, taking in the throngs of people. Effie swallowed thickly. All the signs were there; her hand was clammy, it was starting to feel difficult to draw in breath and she was perspiring. She hated the feeling of being trapped and caged. It reminded her too much of prison. She was about to have an anxiety attack in the middle of a public place.

"Haymitch, Haymitch," she called out desperately. "Haymitch, please."

"I'm right here, sweetheart," he squeezed her shoulder. "Take a deep breath. I'll get you out."

"There are too many people," she rasped. "Don't leave – You can't leave me here."

"I won't let go," he reassured her.

He glanced over his shoulder at Felix and motioned towards Effie. Felix's lips thinned into a disapproving line and he glared at Benedict. He understood what Haymitch meant about Effie.

"Keep moving," Haymitch instructed. "The car isn't far off."


	53. Chapter 53

 

Haymitch watched her quietly. The light from the moon had cast a soft glow on her face giving her a slightly ethereal aura. He approached her silently, not wishing to startle her.

"You alright?" he asked.

Effie glanced his way and continued to stare out of the bay window. The dazzling city lights that were always ablaze in the Capitol had always captured her attention. Twelve was a quiet, sleepy town but here, in the City, everything was alive and bright and vibrant. She just wished her mood was the same.

"I'm worried," she admitted the truth.

Haymitch joined her at the bay window, sitting across from her as Effie drew her knees up to her chest. She looked at him dolefully.

"You might as well be prepared for tomorrow," Haymitch told her. "There's a high chance that the papers will run pictures of the boys. They won't want to miss out on a chance like this."

"I know. I've been thinking about it," she sighed, "but I don't have to like it or be okay with it. I just… I wish there's something that we could do."

"The boys are always going to be of interest to the media, the way Katniss' and Peeta's daughter is. They're our children and with me working on the law, it'll just heighten the paparazzi's interest. It's something we have to deal with," Haymitch said, reaching out for her hand. He brushed his thumb over her knuckles.

"I wish we were nobody. We would be left alone then."

"We would but there's no point wishing for something that's never going to happen. Quit moping around," Haymitch poked her rib playfully. She swatted his hand away. "You'll be okay?"

"Yes," she managed a smile. "Will you stay here with me just for a bit?"

Haymitch lifted his shoulder in a careless shrug but opened up his arm to her. Effie scooted forward, snuggling up to him as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"Do you miss it?"

"Miss what?"

"Home," he nodded to the scenery outside. "The Capitol."

"Sometimes," she answered. "Twelve can be quiet on some days and I find myself thinking of how busy it was at the Capitol. There're more amenities here which make things easier and convenient for me, of course. I think that's what I miss the most – the convenience of buying anything I want without having to ship them in. But other than that… I don't miss it as much as I thought I would. I… I've made a life with you and the children in Twelve, and that's where home is for me."

Haymitch tightened his hold on her and rested his cheek on top of her head but said nothing. He watched the stars twinkled in the night sky and thought of the woman in his arms.

_I've made a life with you._

They had been together for more than year and at the beginning of the marriage he had tried to distance himself as much as he could from her but Effie had become attached and dependent on him, even went as far as to think that she love him. And if he was truthful to himself, he had grown accustomed to having her around and it was making him uncomfortable. It worried him how reliant they were on each other.

 _You don't have to let her go,_  the treacherous part of him whispered.

His eyes strayed to his wife curled next to him. There was a time when the very picture or the very idea of her curled next to him was odd but it was no longer the case - to the casual observer, they looked like they belonged next to each other - and there was once a time when he did not know what to do with his hand when they were in this position but now, he liked to play with her hair. This felt peaceful to him and ….

"Effs," he spoke her name quietly. "What happened earlier at the train station wasn't the first time it happened."

Effie went rigid but Haymitch calmed her down by tracing random patterns on her arm.

"I need to know what will set you off, the triggers -"

"Nothing, Haymitch," Effie shook her head. "I was just under a little bit of pressure today, that's all. I panicked. Please don't worry about me."

"It was a close call at the train station. I don't want you to have an episode like that in public, sweetheart, I don't think you'd be very pleased if they run that sort of stories about you. But the twins are more important. What if the same thing happen while you're alone with them? I need to know how… Effs, I need to know what happened to you."

Effie bit her lip. "The presence of that reporter was unexpected. I felt overwhelmed. Nothing more. I don't think what happened to me is the issue here, Haymitch. That's history and there's no need to dredge unpleasant things again."

"That's bullshit," he scowled. Haymitch retracted his arm that was wound around her and shifted slightly so that he was facing her. "How am I supposed to help you prevent another episode like that from happening again when I don't know what Snow had done to you? Sweetheart, you need to be reasonable and – "

With a shake of her head, Effie began to close off from him. Her posture became tense and her lips were pressed into a thin line. "You can't help me. It's something I have to live with."

"Effs, come - " he threw his hand up in frustration as Effie hurried away from him and into the room. "You want to suffer in silence? Go right, ahead, sweetheart, be my guest, see how that'll turn out for you!"

XxX

" – and I quote, ' _the law won't take 75 years to end',_ " Plutarch read out, glancing up to look at Haymitch pointedly. He was red in the face and as Haymitch sat on the sofa feeling chastised, he wondered how high Plutarch's blood pressure reading would be at this precise moment. "I don't know what you think you're doing, Haymitch, but this isn't how you talk to the press!"

With a huff, Haymitch snatched the paper from Plutarch's grasp, folded it in half and tossed it on the coffee table.

"Sit down, Plutarch, you look like you might explode," Haymitch snapped.

"Correct me if I'm wrong but weren't you the one who told me how the Council had launched an investigation into you previously and that President Paylor herself warned you of it," Plutarch asked and waited until Haymitch answered with a mumbled 'yes', before he continued. "When you say this kind of things, you're raising all kind of alarm bells with the Council. They'll think you're planning to be aggressive which is  _not_  what we're doing."

"He meant no harm by that, Plutarch. His intention was to get the message across to the Council that he won't give up," Effie chimed in. "Haymitch doesn't mean anything else by it."

"Thank you, sweetheart," Haymitch grumbled, "but I think I can answer for myself."

"I'm fairly certain that by this point, the Council understood that he is not going to give up. They get it," Plutarch answered, accepting the cup of tea from Effie. He sipped the tea slowly before getting up with a huff. "I will see to it that the President thinks nothing of it."

"Thank you," Effie touched his arm gratefully.

It wasn't long after Plutarch left that Haymitch picked the paper from where he had tossed it and spread it open. There was a deep scowl on his face the moment his eyes landed on the picture in the paper. It was of Effie kissing him by the train door just before they alighted. The fire burnt low in his stomach, fueling his rage. That was private, it was between him and Effie and now it was on the morning paper for people to feast their curiousity over breakfast.

It only got worst from then on. There was a photo of him shielding Tristan and Effie as best as he could from the camera, Felix lowering Ethan into his stroller and the last photo was of Effie with a frown on her face. He remembered that. It was right before she had started to panic.

The article was gibberish at best, filled with speculations about their marriage. Were they in love or barely tolerating each other? Where does the law stand in their marriage?

Haymitch snorted at that. The law was the very basis and foundation of their marriage and if the people running the papers did not know that then they have no business trying to guess the kind of relationship Haymitch and Effie has.

It amused him as he read on. Haymitch could almost feel the writer's confusion and frustration because by the end of the article, there was no concrete conclusion on why such a 'blissful family' with 'two healthy twin boys' would fight so hard to end the law.

It wasn't until Haymitch realized that there was a second article that his slow burning anger quickly roared into a blazing fire. In it, they had accused him of manipulating Effie into agreeing and supporting his cause. They speculated if he had blackmailed her in any way.

"Let me read something out to you, sweetheart," Haymitch said suddenly. " _Sometimes you have to tear out a limb to save a body._ What do you mean by that?"

"Why are you asking me this now?"

"Because it's in the papers – that's why."

Effie cleaned the coffee table, placing the teacups and saucers carefully into the tray before taking it back into the kitchen. Haymitch followed her.

"I asked you a question."

Effie leaned her hands on the kitchen sink with her back facing his. When she felt him coming closer, Effie turned around.

"Haymitch," she said with exaggerated patience, "can we not talk about this?"

Haymitch raised his hands up in annoyance and let it fall to his sides. He threw the paper on the kitchen counter.

"I'm trying to understand you here, Effie," he hissed. Then Haymitch straightened up and his eyes softened. "Did you even know you said that? That bit about tearing a limb and saving a body?"

"Yes," she nodded.

"I thought maybe you didn't remember because of … Well, it has to mean something if you said it, right? Tell me."

"Are we going to get a divorce?" she asked quietly.

"What?" he frowned, not at all prepared for the question. "You know we can't. The law - "

"But what if it becomes a viable option?"

"Effie," his voice was uncertain.

"I just need to know what I'm dealing with here, Haymitch. I need to know what's in it for me at the end of this," she sighed. Effie cupped his face and managed a weak smile. "I meant what I said when I told you that I'm on your side. That means I will help you with the law."

Haymitch nodded, pressing his cheek against the palm of her hand and kissing it.

"We never wanted this marriage and I know you never wanted this life," Effie said wistfully. "I'm also aware that your reasons to repeal this law started out mostly selfish. You wanted to be rid of me, didn't you? But things get complicated when I got pregnant."

The smile she gave him was so despondent it made his heart ache. He clasped the hand on his cheek and brought it to his chest where his heart was beating strongly but slightly out of rhythm from the sudden nervousness he felt.

"Effie – "

She shook her head to silence him.

"I know you, Haymitch, and I know you began to realize as you work on the law that it was not only just about us. You've told me this countless of time – there are people out there who needs our help and the only reason I'm helping you with this is because I want to help them, too. I can tell where this is all heading – when the law ends, you'll be free and you'll have no reason to stay – the story ends with us apart. When you scraped the law, there'll be consequences and your family is the limb you're tearing away."

It did not have to end with a divorce, she thought, but she had always prepared herself for that eventuality. If anyone was stupid it was her. Nothing good ever came out from loving someone who never felt the same.

"The children… I… need the children," the words tumbled out of his mouth.

Something in Effie broke when she heard that. She remembered a time, 9 months ago, when she had told him the meaning behind Tristan's name and she had requested only one thing from him –  _promise me you will love your sons the way you could never love me._

Whether or not he realized it, Haymitch had fulfilled what she asked of him. Admitting that he needed his children was as good a confession of love when it came to Haymitch. There was a sense of relief even if a part of her was crushed. She wished he could need her that way.

"We'll work something out. A joint custody is always an option," she said.

"Don't think…Let's not think that far, Effie. We can't abandon the appeal just like this."

"That's not what I'm saying. I'm not asking you to abandon your work. I'm just… We can't ignore this forever. Maybe you don't want to think that far down the road but I have to. I need to know what will happen to our family and I need to prepare myself for it."

"Sweetheart," his thumb stroked her cheek, "you deserve a far better life after what you went through. You're a good person and I'm a horrid man to… love."

Effie chuckled bitterly.

"I don't think you understand the concept of loving someone, Haymitch," she shook her head. "It's my choice. You get to choose who you love and for me, that's you. And for you, it's  _her._ "

"Don't bring that up. This isn't about – "

"It'll always be about her," her voice quavered just a little. "I don't know how else to say it, Haymitch, but she's gone. I know you loved her but she's been gone for years and I could still feel her presence around because …" she eyes flitted to the open collar of his shirt where bits from the silver chain around his neck gleamed under the light. She knew what hung at the end of it – the pendant he received the day of his reaping from his girl.

Having nothing else to say and knowing just how much Haymitch detested talking about the people in his past, Effie let out a heavy sigh and left him standing in the kitchen. It was better not to aggravate him.

XxX

That was the second time within the space of twenty four hours that Effie walked out on him. She never saw the way his hand crept up to the chain around his neck or how he pulled on it angrily. His thumb brushed against the clumsy engraving on the pendant, remembering a time years ago when he was sure he was going to meet a certain death and would never be able to see Myra's face again. He had been so desperate to commit her face to memory just before the Peacekeepers took him away for the Games. He used to be able to remember every details of her and when he closed his eyes, he could see her, his brother and his mother as clearly as if they were standing right in front of him.

The years had dulled his memories and even the way Myra look when she smiled at him became a faded image. Haymitch closed his eyes and breathed in deeply through his nose, and the image of Effie smiling was the only thing he could remember.

Haymitch balled the chain into his fist and jammed it into his pocket. When they returned home, he stashed it in the attic, a place where he kept things he never wanted to see again.

 


	54. Chapter 54

Changes, when it happened, were more often than not, very subtle and hardly ever occurred overnight. It transpired over time, unnoticed and as Haymitch crawled into bed, pulling Effie against him, he could finally pinpoint what was different about his wife – her smell. He buried his face in her hair.

When he had first met her as his colleague, he felt outright suffocated by the strong, sharp and overpowering fragrance of the perfume she wore and he never really thought about it until they were married. Having to spend most of his time with her, sleeping next to her and sharing the same bathroom with her, Haymitch began to associate the smell of vanilla with her skin and wild flowers with her hair – a combination of jasmine, lilies and vanilla as he found out when he had to buy a bottle of shampoo for her once. Vanilla and flowers - that was what his wife smelt like to him.

But it was different now and it took him nine months to notice but the fragrance of vanilla and flowers was now always, accompanied by the smell of baby powder – the powder she used on the children after each time that she bathed them. The combination was so inherently her, so Effie and yet very distinct from the person he once knew. He kissed her neck and then pushed his nose into her soft hair once again. It comforted him in a way he never knew was possible.

He slung his arm across her mid-section and Effie covered his hand with hers, sighing into the pillow.

"I shouldn't have brought her up," she whispered. "I'm sorry."

Haymitch nodded and mumbled into her hair, "I shouldn't have brought you and the boys here. Could have asked Felix to drop by the house and help you out while I was away."

It was as close as an apology as he could manage and Effie knew it, too.

"Ethan and Tristan are very much attached to you, in case you haven't noticed," she laughed softly. "To leave them behind for a few days while you go traipsing into the Capitol will be a disaster. They have never been away from you and I can assure you, little though they may be, they'll notice your absence and I simply cannot deal with two crying and cranky boys on my own. I can't explain to them that you'll only be gone for a while, they're too young to understand," she told him. "Let's just go to sleep, Haymitch. Tomorrow will be a better day."

"Tomorrow's the appeal," he reminded her.

He would have to see the self-important and pompous faces of the Council members and in his books that would not constitute a better day.

"Then sleep. It's a big, big, big day for you."

XxX

Effie had decided to take the children accompanied by their Uncle Felix to do some shopping. They were growing by the day and they were in dire need of new clothes. Felix was more than delighted at the prospect of shopping for clothes, naming off the boutiques he thought they should visit.

"This isn't coming out of my expenses," Haymitch warned.

"Oh, you are so frugal," Felix rolled his eyes. "Money is for spending, handsome, and I shall spend them on these two darlings."

Haymitch frowned, noting once more the stark difference between people born in the Capitol and those raised in the Districts. He opened his mouth to say that money was hardly easy to come by for some people and if money was made for spending, then it should undoubtedly be spent on food but Effie was shaking her head at him and in any case, Felix had already moved on to a different topic.

"Have the two of you ever considered baby modeling for the twins? I think they have what it takes," Felix tapped a long finger on his chin thoughtfully as he eyed Tristan. "There's someone I know who works in a baby modeling agency and I could help set the whole thing up. There're also contests which you can enter the twins into – kind of like a stepping stone, if you know what I mean – and there are usually scouts at these sorts of events. I – "

"No," Haymitch and Effie said at once.

"Oh well, that's a waste. Because little Ethan here has a smile that could melt people's hearts. He could do very well in the business – he's outgoing. "

"I have to go," Haymitch stood up, pushing his chair back to kiss Effie on her cheek. He walked over and ruffled the boys' hair. "Don't tire them or they'll get cranky at night," Haymitch said to Felix.

The appeal took up Haymitch's entire afternoon which should not surprise him because for the first time, Plutarch and himself had decided to bring up the issue of the Government's finances with regards to the policies involving the cash payout, financing the dollar for dollar children's development saving fund and the education subsidy for children born under the law.

"The people that I've talked to have expressed their concerns," Haymitch said. "Your administration does not have their full confidence; they think that you will be able to deliver what you promised. This country is  _still_  rehabilitating from the effects of the war and rebuilding the country is costing a lot of money. You'd understand why this is a concern, don't you? People are not very convinced that you will be able to sustain the policies with the current economic climate without some consequences."

"I concur with Haymitch," Plutarch nodded. "There were some complains across the districts that constructions of houses and other facilities are being delayed because of insufficient financial backing. The ongoing rebuilding and reconstructions of this country should not take a back seat. It is  _equally_  important. I trust you understand that the rebuilding of these places – schools, private clinics, additional factories and shops – will only contribute to the economic growth of this country. It sustains and provides employment which our country badly need at this moment. You cannot focus all your efforts into the law while giving half of your attention to others."

A murmur rippled through the Council members. President Paylor was frowning as she looked at each of the Council members in turn. While Haymitch was certain that President Paylor had been fully briefed of the problem involving the reconstruction in the districts, Haymitch also had a distinct feeling that this was a problem that was in constant debate between the President and her Council members. Decision-making did not lie in President Paylor's hand alone. Panem had seen the effects of such immeasurable power in the hand of a single man so the moment the battle was over and the war was won, when Plutarch had asked for Haymitch's assistance in setting up a new governing body, Haymitch who had fought his entire life and only wanted to be left alone, gave only one advise –  _'separation of power; have a system of checks and balances, Plutarch. Don't let one person make all the decisions.'_  With the system in place, President Paylor could not pass a law without the agreement of the Council and the Council could not make any decisions without President Paylor's approval.

"So we decrease the government's funding into the cash payout or we ceased the dollar for dollar savings in the development fund," a council member suggested.

"You do that and you will lose the believe people have in your Council. There are people out there in the districts and in the city who are still struggling to rebuild their life, and you are asking these people to have two children at minimum. Having another mouth to feed post-war is already putting on undue pressure, much less two," Haymitch argued. "Your cash payout is helping them tide things over and the education grant you will be giving will greatly help them when it comes to enrolling their children in school but all of these will chip into the government's budget. In the long run, assuming all other factors remain constant, you will have more marriage law babies, more money needed to spend on this and it will have a major financial effect."

"And if the law is repealed, Mr Abernathy, do you suggest we stop all these policies with immediate effect to save the budget?"

"Of course not," Haymitch shook his head. "The policies were your promise to all of us who were married and had children as mandated. It will be bad form to retract on it when it suited you. My suggestion is this," Haymitch managed a smirk, "the cash payout should still be handed out until the children reach the age of 7 just as the law states. Your policy also states that the Government will match every dollar that the parents save for the child under the development saving fund until the child reaches the age of 7 and that should also remain in place when you cease the law, at least until the child turns 8. The education grant and subsidy should also be in effect for children born under this law until they have completed compulsory education, as promised."

"In short," Haymitch gestured with his hand, "the policies should remain as it is for anyone affected by the law but no longer applicable to anyone who has children after the law has been repealed."

"That will not have a heavy impact on the budget and it will allow your government to recoup financial losses under the policies," Plutarch added.

XxX

At eleven the next morning, Haymitch woke up with a heavy feeling on his chest, quite literally. He cracked his eyes open to find Ethan sitting and bouncing on his chest as Effie held him steady with a huge smile on her face. Ethan made a grab for his nose excitedly when he saw that Haymitch had opened his eyes but Haymitch turned his face away.

"Okay, okay, I'm up," Haymitch grumbled, picking the boy off him.

"Give your son a good morning kiss, Haymitch, he did a good job waking you up for me," Effie teased.

It took her nearly an hour to get her boys, including Haymitch who can be such a child at times, ready and out of the house.

"How did it go yesterday?" she asked the question that had been burning in her mind.

Haymitch took his time answering as they alighted from the taxi. "I think it went well. It has turned lesser into an argument and more into a dialogue between us and the Council members."

"That's good, isn't it? A discussion is always better than two sides butting heads. It might even work out better than you expected; you and Plutarch could collaborate with the Council and smooth things out, ensure the best for everyone. The way I see it, your concerns are for the people while the Council is more concern for the country – they both go hand in hand."

"If, for whatever reason, they reject this appeal, maybe the next time I should take you with me for one of these  _discussions_ ," he said, reaching down to the floor to pick up the hat Ethan had thrown out of his stroller.

The chilly silence that surrounded the cemetery was occasionally punctuated by the unintelligible blabbering of the twins as Haymitch pushed the double stroller up along the empty pathway. He couldn't really help the chill running down his spine. Haymitch had always hated cemeteries. In Twelve, there was a wall memorial engraved with tributes' name which he avoided, just as he avoided the marked graves of his family and his girl.

He had tried to visit a few times but it only served to dredge up painful memories. Each time he returned home from these visits he only drank more because the nightmares became so much worse. In the end, Haymitch stopped visiting altogether.

But Effie had wanted to visit her late sister and she had wanted to bring the twins along. It seemed important to her and not wanting to get into another disagreement, Haymitch had agreed to accompany her.

Since he did not know the way, Haymitch trailed after her as Effie led the way with Tristan. They had left the strollers behind at the walkway, knowing that it would be difficult to maneuver it on the grassy pathway.

"Settle down, tiger, you're not making things any easy for me," he spoke quietly to Ethan. "I want to get out of here as much as you do but we gotta to do this for your mama, okay?"

Haymitch knew exactly why Ethan was squirming and why the boy looked close to tears. He wanted to be let down so he could have his freedom to crawl all around. Ethan had never liked being held and carried around much ever since he learnt how to crawl.

"Shush, don't go crying on me. You won't do that to me, I know you won't," Haymitch said, trying to calm him down.

Effie had come to a stop. His eyes flickered to the headstone, reading the name engraved on it; Eirene Trinket. Effie glanced over her shoulders to check on them and smiled, beckoning Haymitch to stand next to her.

"We're here," she said. Haymitch nodded. "Hello, Eirene," Effie whispered so softly. "I haven't visited since the day before my wedding. I'm sorry. I haven't forgotten about you. I think about you all the time and I … So much has happened since I was last here and I – I wish you were here to see me now. I thought a lot about what you would say to me if you're here. You would be proud of me, I think. I've made a life for myself, Eirene."

"I brought them," her voice cracked just a little. "When we were little children, we promised to bring our own families for dinner every weekend, do you remember? I thought you would like to meet them – this is my husband, Haymitch, and these are my children," she gestured, a small smile on her lips. Haymitch stood silently next to her and Ethan, having sense the shift in his mother's mood had grown quiet.

"They're twins – Tristan and Ethan – nine months old and as Haymitch often complaint, a handful, especially that one," Effie nodded at Ethan, giving her son a fond smile. "You would love them and they would have been so lucky to have you as their aunt. You've always loved children; you and Felix both."

Haymitch understood then why she had wanted to take them along, why it had been so important to her. Effie wanted to introduce her family; her pride and joy. It felt mindless, not to mention odd that she was talking to a headstone but he had always heard that it made some people feel better to be able to visit and talk out loud to the dead. He had never truly understood that because he had tried talking to his brother years ago, an act that only increased his guilt ten-fold. He supposed it was different for Effie. Unlike him, her sister had not died because of something she had done.

Next to him, he could hear her sniffle. Haymitch drew her close and kissed her temple gently. "She would be very happy for you, sweetheart," he said.

XxX

Haymitch took them to lunch at a small restaurant to lift the mood back again. It felt nice to be out with his family, something they hardly ever do in District Twelve because whenever they needed something from town, one of them would make a quick trip while the other stayed at home. It was easier to shop for groceries without the children. Haymitch made a mental note to himself to take them out once in a while to Greasy Sae's.

With time to spare before the boys needed their afternoon nap, Effie suggested a walk in the park. Haymitch indulged her as a way to make it up to her for the strained and uneasy time they had between themselves a few days back.

"I've been thinking… there's enough space in our yard for a swing set," Effie made a flippant remark as she placed Ethan at the top of the green slide and guided him down, much to the child's delight. "So… I thought, maybe, you could set one up for the children. He loves it, see!"

Haymitch grumbled under his breath. This was the modus operandi in their household. Effie would have all these ideas of what she thought would be nice to have and then it would be up to him to do it all. He remembered the incident with the furniture for the nursery all too well.

"A swing set at my house," he snorted. "That's a sight to behold. If he was alive, Chaff would love to see that, I bet."

"Can I have an outdoor swing, too?" she smiled cheekily. "I saw this absolutely pretty rattan swing yesterday and I asked, they said they could deliver it to Twelve. We just have to pay a little extra. It won't take up much space," she added hastily, "I promise."

"What would you need that for? Is it really necessary?" he scowled.

"Just," she answered. "It'll be cozy. We'll get the two-seater and  _you_ can come and join me. Come on, Haymitch, let's get it."

"Children's swing set and then we'll see about yours," he said.

Effie beamed at him, more than happy with that compromise. Effie didn't really care much for an outdoor swing but she had voiced it out because she knew between getting something for her and something for the children, he would choose the children. But Haymitch would yield sooner or later. Despite all his grumbling, he always tried to get for her the things she asked for. Not immediately, but eventually, just like when she had craved for strawberries during the pregnancy. It was these inconsequential little things he did that made her heart fluttered and convinced her that she had not made a mistake falling in love with him.

"What do you think their first words will be?" Effie asked out of the blue.

Haymitch shrugged. "Does it matter?"

"In the grand scheme of things, probably not. I'm very excited for them to start talking. I'm certain their first word will be mummy. That'll be nice," Effie grinned.

Haymitch wrinkled his nose.

"I thought I heard Tristan called 'Da' just the other day when I walked away from him. Pretty sure 'Da' was me," he smirked.

Effie stared at him, mouth opened slightly in disbelief. "Why didn't you tell me this sooner?!"

"Does it matter?"

"Of course, it does!" she exclaimed, suddenly changing her stance. "It's supposed to be me."

"That's the most childish thing I've ever heard coming from you. Has the children rubbed off on you?"

The smirk, Effie was sure, was going to be a permanent fixture on his face.

"Besides," Haymitch went on, "I thought you say it didn't matter in the grand scheme of things."

"But - I thought… I thought," Effie sputtered. "Since I'm their mother, it would be me they first called out for."

"Says who?" Haymitch lifted an eyebrow mockingly. "Too bad, sweetheart," Haymitch lifted Tristan from the slide and then right in front of Effie, he planted a big, wet kiss on the boy's cheek. "I'm his favourite, clearly. Ain't that right, peanut?"

Effie glowered. He could see her thinking it out because she said, "they're only 9 months old. They can't really talk, not yet anyway. You probably just misheard it. In any case, 'Da' is not even a real word, Haymitch. It's the babies babbling as they learn to communicate. Their first  _real_  word will be mummy."

"Whatever makes you sleep at night, Effs."

She walked away and sat on the swing with Ethan on her lap and Haymitch thought that was the end of the conversation. Except she looked up, concern etched all over her face, "did Tristan really said Da?"

He smirked.

 


	55. Chapter 55

Their footsteps echoed throughout the empty hallway with the President leading the way. Haymitch followed quietly until they came to a stop in front of a vacant room. The President entered, leaving the door open. Plutarch ambled in with Haymitch bringing up the rear. He shut the door behind him.

"A secret, close-door meeting?" Haymitch raised a dubious eyebrow. "Must be something special."

President Paylor sat perched at the edge of an oak desk. She appraised them quietly and then spoke to them, "I wanted to let you in on it first."

"It's too soon for the Council to pass their decision, isn't it?" Plutarch asked, peering out of the window into the streets below.

"I think we all know what the Council will say," President Paylor spoke softly. Haymitch dropped into an armchair and crossed his leg. He tapped his fingers against his knee rhythmically. "Yesterday was a good session, wasn't it?"

Plutarch turned around, his eyes cutting to Haymitch.

"I didn't throttle a Council member. So I count that as a victory," Haymitch said simply. "What is really going on here?"

"I still stand by what I said years ago. The both of you should have been on my Council," she smiled.

"I'm very happy with my current appointment, Eileen," Plutarch returned her smile good-naturedly.

"I prefer life in Twelve."

"Of course, except for the occasional trip you make to the City in order to play the Devil's advocate which I find is good, it keeps my Council members on their toes," Paylor added. "The both you have raised some valid issues once again at the meeting; very thorough and very well thought off. The issue of the government's finances has been in constant debate since we were first established as the governing body, so trust me when I said that some members whole-heartedly agree with your views."

Haymitch sat up straight, leaning forward in his seat.

"So what are you saying? They'll repeal it?"

"At the moment," she conferred, "we are able to sustain the policies and the rebuilding of Panem. They are able to run concurrently albeit on a slightly tighter budget. But I have all the confidence that as the economy picks up over the course of the next few years we would be more than able to provide for the people."

"Next few years?" Plutarch frowned.

President Paylor went on to justify. "With regards to your concerns on the delay in constructions, those are between the workers, suppliers and the private contractors. We keep an eye out on these things but we try not to meddle in the affairs of private companies, especially when the government has contracted out the business to them. When it comes to late deliveries on materials or petty disagreement over wages the private companies should be able to resolve it between employers and employees unless they have seriously contravened a law in which case, the Courts will hear it. "

Haymitch exhaled loudly, the frustration evident in his feature. "They're not going to repeal the law, are they?"

"The Council members are divided and they have not decided on anything but between you and me, it is highly unlikely that they will. To do so now will make my governing seem incompetent in the eyes of the public."

"So you're trying to save face," Haymitch pointed out.

President Paylor ignored it.

"We are trying our best to take all the points you have brought up and all the issues you have raised. This is good… what we have. You poke holes in our laws and we work to make it better. I value this cooperation. It's a good partnership -"

Haymitch snorted. "It's not a partnership."

"- and I hope we can continue in the same vein."

"I understand that you are trying to ensure the law runs smoothly and that the needs of the people are constantly being revised and cared for. That is commendable," Plutarch stepped in. "But – "

"But people would still be married," Haymitch interjected. "And in some, these union is outright destructive, not to mention – "

"Not yours, I hope," the President looked at him imploringly.

"I don't hit women," Haymitch scowled feeling insulted, "and I sure as hell won't lay a hand on my wife. I respect her enough and knowing Effie, she would haul my ass in jail if I so much as try to do that."

"Good. Nobody wants to find out that the person they placed their hopes in is not all they imagined him to be. You've become quite popular with the public lately, haven't you?"

Her eyes fell on the morning paper where a photo of his family at the park taken the day before graced the front page.

Haymitch frowned. He had seen that paper that morning but couldn't be bothered to read it. "So it's a no with the appeal, then?"

"It's still too early, Haymitch."

"Nearly two years," he said.

"Like I've said, it's still too early for us to scrape it away. The law is the only thing that will boost the population. Years ago, District Thirteen had their pox epidemic that nearly wiped out half of their population. We had the war that killed thousands of people including children. We need the law," President Paylor insisted. In a softer voice, she added, "the first baby born under his law has not even attained two years of age. Give us a little faith, Haymitch. We are trying our best."

"I see that you're  _still_  not pregnant despite this law being your Council's brain child," Haymitch muttered, taking a swing at her.

That got a laugh out of the President. "Tell you what, why don't you bring your children around to the City in seven months' time for a little play date? Granted, he or she will be too young to play but…a little introduction, wouldn't hurt the children, would it?" she smiled, a hand rested daintily on her stomach.

Plutarch was the first between them to offered congratulatory words. Haymitch stared at her.

"Are you serious? Are you really…?" he asked, shaking his head.

"That's still classified information. Keep it to yourself… and your wives."

XxX

The return journey to Twelve felt long and arduous. Effie was careful to keep the children from bothering their father and gave Haymitch space to brood. He needed it and better now than when they were back home in Twelve.

Effie tried to occupy the children as much as she could. She read and sang to them, she pointed out to different objects and started naming them for her children but knowing that Haymitch was there, Tristan reached his hands out for his father.

"He wants you," Effie told him quietly.

Without a word, Haymitch picked Tristan up and settled the toddler on his lap. He gave the boy his pacifier. Tristan snuggled against his father with his hand wrapped tight around Haymitch's finger and fell asleep. Effie sat across from them with Ethan next to her, snacking on a teething biscuit.

"Each time I see him, he's got some food in his mouth," Haymitch commented. "That one eats a lot."

"As long as he's happy, sitting here quietly instead of trying to crawl around everywhere, I'm not complaining."

Haymitch said nothing. He continued the rest of the journey in the same manner, staring out of the window watching the sceneries passed him by. Effie knew he had no interest in the sceneries outside and was just trying to distract himself from the need to drink. If this had been ten years ago when there was only him to think about, Effie was certain that he would have tried to cope with a bottle of whiskey in his hand.

Instead, his hand was methodically brushing back Tristan's hair as if to occupy itself with the lack of bottle in its grip. Effie smiled at the sight of Haymitch and Tristan. She wished she had a camera on her. It would certainly make for a nice photo.

That night when they returned home and the boys had gone to sleep, Effie said nothing as Haymitch sat by the front porch nursing a glass of whiskey. A glass, in her opinion, was better than the whole bottle. She sat with him on the steps, in the dead of night with her head resting on his shoulder.

"You're going to be stuck with me for a little bit," she said, looping her arm around his.

It was a long while before Haymitch spoke, "better you than some other stranger."

And that was enough for her.

XxX

It wasn't the first time that the thought had crossed his mind but Haymitch would rather endure the physical training Peeta had put him through prior to the Third Quarter Quell than what he had to deal with at the moment. Having not one but two toddlers who are fast on their feet had placed him in a state of extreme exhaustion almost on a daily basis that by the time night greeted District Twelve and his head hit the pillow, Haymitch fell asleep almost immediately. He marveled at that fact sometimes, a far cry from how it had been for him before when only copious amount of alcohol could knock him out at night.

That afternoon, Haymitch came out of the back door into the small backyard where Effie had put up the clothes line to a sight that made his heart skipped a beat.

"Ethan," he raised his voice slightly to get the boy's attention. He hardly if ever called his sons by their names and the rare use of Ethan's name made the child freeze. The boys would soon learn that whenever their father called them by their given names, they were usually in trouble. "You put that gosling down now."

Effie, much to her chagrin, has her own gaggle of gosling which had imprinted on her. She had demanded he do something about it.

"Is it not enough that I have two toddlers to look after and now your… your pets are following me everywhere I go!"

To be fair, it was hardly his fault that happened. When the birds had hatched, he had been away assisting Peeta with the central air-conditioning system at the bakery and when he returned home, he saw Effie standing by the pen looking curiously at the newly hatched goslings from a safe distance but the damage was done. She had been there during their sensitive period and they had imprinted on her.

Ethan looked up at him with his big grey eyes.

"Put that bird down, tiger. It's hardly fair - you're bigger than him," Haymitch said.

Ethan gave Haymitch a wide smile, showing off his four front teeth. He raised his hand innocently in excitement, the bird held tight in his grip. Effie walked in front of Haymitch towards the clothes line, carrying a basket full of laundry. The goslings trailed behind her. Ethan chased after them on his tiny feet in an attempt to capture another. Haymitch swooped down and scooped him up. He freed the bird from the child's grip which prompted a temper tantrum.

"Da!" Ethan screamed angrily, kicking his legs to free himself.

Haymitch raised both eyebrows at Effie, a smirk on his face.

"Still not a proper word," she rolled her eyes, remembering very well how a few months ago he had claimed Tristan had called him by the same word.

Haymitch laughed.

"Jealous," he teased her. Ethan was still kicking air, trying to free himself from his father's grip. He had started crying. "This is exactly how that gosling felt when you half strangled it earlier."

"Haymitch! Your son is eating grass," Effie exclaimed, drawing his attention to yet another problem.

His eyes cut to Tristan who had been quiet all those while. He was sitting on the ground, pulling blades of grass and putting them in his mouth.

"Did we starve him that he has to resort to that?" Haymitch muttered to Effie.

Haymitch scooped him up the same way he did with Ethan. With a boy on each side, he turned to Effie, the exasperation was evident in his eyes.

"I'm really starting to consider putting a spoonful of whiskey in their milk and knock them out, Effs. I'm exhausted. And you may be the very picture of health," he said and Effie smiled, "but I'm too old to be running after their asses and watching their every move.

"You're not  _that_ old," she reassured him. "And, fair warning, if you do that to my children, Haymitch, you'll be sleeping at Katniss' house for the rest of the week."

"It doesn't have to be whiskey," he negotiated. "Yeah, maybe that's too strong. I could rub some wine on their gums."

"No," Effie laughed. "Absolutely not!"

"Come on, aren't you tired of – okay," he said hastily when he saw the way she was glaring at him. "Fine, we'll let them just run around all day then."

Haymitch did exactly that. He let them run wild on the swing set he had built. Retreating back to the front porch, Haymitch sat on the top step and watched them until they tire themselves out. Tristan crawled into Haymitch's lap and fell asleep. It took Ethan a while before he simply lay on the freshly mown grass, asleep and quiet at last.

Effie came out from the back of the house when it was time for their afternoon nap, the laundry basket in her arm now empty and saw her two children sound asleep. She glanced over at Haymitch.

"Guess it's nap time," he shrugged. "At least it's quiet now."

"Did you spike their milk?" she frowned.

"Give me a little credit, sweetheart," he said. "I put them to sleep without having to do that. They haven't had their bottle."

"You can't just let Ethan sleep out here or wherever he feels like, Haymitch. There are proper places to fall asleep and he should learn that from a young age," Effie started. "And you can't always let Tristan sleep in your arms while you hold him. He'll never learn to sleep on his own or in his own bed and it's going to be very difficult for us later. By the way, please don't forget to get their birthday cake from Peeta for tomorrow," she switched into a different subject without warning.

"You've only just reminded me about fifteen times," he muttered.

"No need to exaggerate."

Haymitch knew that Effie was looking forward to tomorrow when the children turned one. He wasn't feeling particularly excited especially when he felt that time was running too far ahead, leaving him powerless to stop it. Their first birthday would mark the fact that he had been a father for a whole year. He could remember with perfect clarity the sheer panic he felt on that hovercraft, trying desperately to make it back to Twelve in time for their birth. Haymitch had never truly forgiven himself for missing out on Tristan's birth or leaving Effie to go through it without him especially when he had promised her that he would be by her side. He had never broached this topic with Effie, choosing instead to keep it to himself but he regretted it. He had missed his children's birth and he didn't think he would ever experience another. Throughout his adult life, Haymitch had learnt to live with guilt and regret and this was just another of his failure to add to his existing list.

"Don't forget the candles… Haymitch, are you listening to me?"

"What?"

She pinched her lips into a thin line. Effie had never liked it when he turned a deaf ear to whatever she had to say, something he did quite often especially before the Rebellion. That was the only way he knew how to deal with her. Haymitch was saved from another repetitive lecture on how it was bad manners to ignore someone when the phone in the house rang.

"I'll get it," Effie said. "You should carry them back to bed."

"I'm really getting too old for this."

"So you've said," she smiled, patting his shoulder sympathetically as she walked passed him.

XxX

"Felix, please, you're not making any sense. Slow down and explain to me clearly."

He turned curiously to look at her, carrying both boys with their heads slumped on each of his shoulder. They were getting heavier and the thought of having to climb the stairs up to their nursery gave him pause. He doubled back to the living room and laid them at each end of the sofa before collapsing on it with a tired sigh.

Effie sounded distress but if that was Felix on the other line then Haymitch wasn't particularly worried. The last time Felix called with an 'emergency' was to complain that the new pair of shoes he bought had been stolen and he believed the lack of security surrounding his apartment building was the cause of it. Haymitch thought nothing of the phone call until Effie asked, "is she okay?"

His ear perked and Haymitch began to give the one-sided conversation his attention. He stood up and moved towards her, propping his elbow on the mantelpiece.

"Well how could you not know? Is there anyone there that you can ask?" Effie frowned.

Haymitch tapped her shoulder to get her attention. He gestured with his hand, asking her silently if everything was okay. She waved her hand for him to be quiet.

"Okay, so you're not at the city right now? Are you at Seven or… District Two with her? Pass the phone to… What do you mean she's unconscious?"

"Who's unconscious?" Haymitch demanded.

"That isn't right at all," Effie shook her head as if Felix could see her. "Felix, you need to tell them that she cannot be treated in such a manner. Demand that they take the cuff of her ankle. If she's unconscious like you said she is, then there isn't much she can do! No, no, listen to me, you need to …" Effie exhaled through her nose and leaned her forehead on the wall. "Where is her husband? Isn't he doing anything to help?"

There was a pause before Effie spoke again.

"You're making me very scared."

Having had enough, Haymitch pulled the phone out of Effie's hand and pressed the receiver to his ear.

"What's going on?"

The line went dead. Felix had hung up.

He turned to Effie for some answers.

"It's Johanna."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're frustrated that the appeal has been rejected again, imagine how Haymitch must have felt. Anyway, I hope you like this chapter with some family time with hayffie and their children.


	56. Chapter 56

The plan was to leave the boys with Katniss and Peeta, both of whom were less than agreeable with said arrangement. They felt that, as one of Johanna's friends, they should also make the trip to District Two to make sure she was okay.

They would have gone if not for the fact that Prim was not a fan of train rides – having cried during the journey the last time her parents took her on a trip to Four – which made travelling by that mode of transport difficult for the family. Desperately needing a baby sitter, Haymitch promised to keep them updated on Johanna.

Tristan and Ethan were left in their care for all but five minutes. At the archway of the quiet old village, Effie paused, listening intently to the children's wailing. Her face scrunched in pain.

Turning to Haymitch, she said, "I can't leave them behind, not even for a few days. We have to take them with us. I can't take them crying for us like that."

That was how the children came to take their second trip out of District Twelve on the train which was no better than their first. They were restless and agitated. Ethan squirmed as Effie held him in her lap, wanting to walk around but she was too concerned for his safety. The train swayed under their feet and she did not want him to fall.

"If he hurt himself, he'll learn," Haymitch said.

The train bound to District Two seemed to crawl at a snail's pace. When she was not distracted by Ethan, her thoughts were occupied with Johanna. Felix had made little to no sense at all over the phone, repeating and insisting that it was his fault.

"Years ago, if you had told me that one day, you'd be taking a train all the way to Two, worried about Johanna Mason, I would have thought you were ill."

"You know times have changed, Haymitch," she said distractedly. "I'm no longer the person I was before. She… Johanna wasn't much, to be honest, but she was a familiar face in a terrible place and …"

She was speaking of a time long gone and Haymitch waited for her to go on, to talk to him and give him a hint of what had happened but she trailed off. His eyes lingered on her for a brief second before he let it go, knowing that there was no use pressing her for answers.

"She'd be okay," he gave her knee a squeeze. "You'll see. We'll get to District Two only to find her and your cousin in a heated fight. The whole trip would have been for nothing."

Effie managed a small smile. "I hope she's okay enough to be arguing with Felix. I never thought I'd say that but I hope you're right."

XxX

Being a large district, it followed that District Two's hospital was similarly in proportion to its population size. They lost their way twice trying to find the right wing to Johanna's ward.

Haymitch gritted his teeth in frustration as they walked down yet another hallway. He forced himself to move forward, his distaste for medical institution was clear for all to see. The smell of antiseptic clung to him.

As they walked past a man on a wheelchair with a huge cut across his forehead and blood flowing down his face, Effie was quick to avert her gaze. The sight of blood made her nausea. Working with the Games meant that even if she was not comfortable, she was used to the sight of blood and gore but she could hardly stomach it anymore since her capture. She could feel the metallic taste of blood in her mouth and paused in the hallway, trying to convince herself that it was all in her head.

"You okay?" Haymitch turned back to check on her. Effie nodded. "I think it's down this way."

The hurried down the hallway with the children peering curiously out of their stroller to look at the surroundings.

"Look at how adorable he is!" a woman gushed, as Ethan gave her his smile that showed off his four front teeth. Effie managed to thank the woman even as Haymitch urged her forward.

As they rounded the corner, Felix came into view. Unlike Haymitch, Felix was not a pacer. He was sitting on a chair, moodily inspecting his nails. As they approached, Felix looked up and jumped to his feet. He enveloped Effie in a tight hug which nearly suffocated the petite woman. He was clinging to her almost in desperation, Haymitch noted.

"What happened?" Effie asked.

"I… I don't know how bad it is. The nurses wouldn't tell me. But she…" he took a breath. "Gale said they found her bleeding and… I should have never told her any of that. He blamed me. He wouldn't let me see her either, told me to go back to the City. It's my fault, all of this," Felix cried, shaking his head in distress.

"Bleeding?" Effie asked in alarmed.

Haymitch frowned, his eyes flickering between Effie and Felix. As Effie tried her best to comfort her cousin and get a little more out of him, Haymitch moved towards the door. He peered through the glass panel and saw Gale sitting by Johanna's bed, holding on to her hand and sweeping her hair back. Haymitch had seen those two behaved around each other and he could honestly say that he had never seen Gale or Johanna be affectionate with each other. They were married so it shouldn't come as a surprise to see Gale looking so pained and miserable but it did.

Turning the knob in his hand, Haymitch pushed the door open.

"I already told you to go, Felix. What are you still doing here?"

"What happened to Johanna?"

Gale shifted in his seat to look at Haymitch, staring at him in surprise.

"I'm guessing that Felix called you."

"Called Effie," Haymitch answered. As he approached the bed, Haymitch saw just how pale she was. Something glinted out of the corner of his eyes at the end of the bed. He pushed the back of the white hospital blanket aside to expose the metallic cuff locking her to the bed. "She in some kind of trouble or somethin'?"

"I told the officers that she's Johanna Mason; victor, rebel and a friend to Katniss Everdeen. I told them I fought for the Rebellion along with Katniss. I pulled the mockingjay card and it didn't work. Told me they would check with their superiors. They won't take the cuffs off."

"Yeah? What the hell did she do?"

"Broke the law."

"How?" Haymitch questioned him, trying to suppress his frustration. Was it so exceptionally difficult to just tell him what was going on?

"Why don't you ask  _him?_ " Gale spat, his eyes lighted up with fury.

"Listen here, boy," Haymitch growled, "stop being so evasive and tell me straight up why Johanna is on that hospital bed and why she is being treated like a criminal. I didn't travel down from Twelve to mediate between you and Felix. So let me ask again – what happened to her?"

Gale fixed him with a glare which Haymitch returned with a bored indifference. He had years to get used to the town's folks glaring at him and calling him a drunk, and this was no different. Gale exhaled heavily; his body slumped against the chair. Haymitch studied him, taking in the sight of the young man's thumb rubbing over Johanna's knuckles. He was clearly upset and had not let go of her hand since Haymitch stepped in.

Johanna had always made it seemed like Gale cared nothing for her and she for him but Haymitch had only ever heard her side of the story, never from Gale.

_Could she possibly be wrong about him?_

"Johanna never wanted children," Gale started, "and neither did I, initially. Took me a while to wrap my heard around the idea of having a family and… I'm starting to think it's not the worst thing to happen."

Haymitch pulled a chair to the bed, across from Gale and settled down. He had a feeling that this would take a while.

"You and your wife made it work. Katniss and Peeta - even with everything that they've been through - are happy. I saw them during your baby shower, saw how they are with their girl and you know, I got to thinking, that maybe I could have…." he shrugged. "This law doesn't look like it's gonna end and she's my wife. Whether she liked it or not, we have to have a child."

"She told me you have someone."

"She said that?" he looked up at Haymitch in surprise. To Haymitch, it felt as though this was the first time Gale had heard such accusation. If there truly was someone else, did Johanna not confront him about this before?

"I think she's talking about Delly - Delly Cartwright," he said. "You remember Delly? From home."

"Yeah, I remember."

"Delly relocated to Two a few months after we were married. I didn't know until I saw her moving in. I've never really talked to her before. We weren't friends but we knew each other. Could be because we were in Two but she was someone I felt I had a connection with since she was from home."

Even as he spoke, Gale fixed his gaze on Johanna, refusing to look at Haymitch. Gale may be trying to explain the situation to Haymitch but he was really just talking to Johanna.

"We had a shared history in Katniss, in Peeta, in Twelve, the bombing and as a refugee in Thirteen. So maybe I got a little close to her without meaning to. Jo and I, we… don't talk much. Maybe she had her own idea of what I was doing and as for me, I never had the feeling that she wanted to put in as much effort into this marriage."

"Okay," Haymitch said, "so how'd she end up in hospital?"

"It goes back to the children. I asked and she said no. I told her that if she just think about it, give it sometime, maybe the idea wouldn't feel so terrible. No kids, she said. Can't look after her own was what she told me."

"So you were pressing the issue?"

"Guess I did," he mumbled reluctantly. "The officials were paying us a visit every few months, sending each of us for medical screening to understand why we're still childless. Look, I fought back, telling them we need more time but I can't hold them off forever. When your third appeal was rejected, I knew we'd be in for a long haul."

"And?"

"I tried something different; told her the money would be good. We could use the cash payout given to a child and it could help out with Vick's and Posy's expenses, at least. I'm still responsible for them. Johanna lost it. She got angry, she screamed, telling me I was expecting too much. And then this…" he gestured at Johanna's unmoving form.

"She called me," Felix chimed in, filling in the rest of the story. He leaned against the door, looking miserable. Gale glared at him and rose out of the chair until Haymitch snapped at him to sit back down. "She said she was gonna do what I did. I told her to think about it but she wouldn't listen. I shouldn't have told her about my vasectomy. She's rash and stubborn and I rushed down to Two thinking if I could talk to her personally, I could change her mind but it was too late."

Effie's brows wrinkled as she pieced the story together.

"Did she… Be serious, Felix. That's not something to joke about."

"He isn't joking. Permanent sterilization," Gale's contorted into one of anger.

Effie gave a loud gasp and Haymitch, who was rarely ever caught off-guard, was stunned silence by the information.

"You … She can't have…?" Effie trailed off, the thought too horrific for her to consider.

"We don't know. It wasn't ... completed, was it?" Felix answered, looking at Gale for confirmation.

"Doctors are still trying to assess the extent of the damage," said Gale. "Ever since the law was implemented, procedures of this kind are illegal, as are abortions. You can't just walk into any hospitals and make an appointment to have these surgeries. You want something like this, you better know someone who knows someone," by the end of this, Gale was staring at Felix again in anger. His accusation was clear.

"I would  _never_  have encouraged her to do something of this nature," Felix replied angrily. "If you think it was me who told her where to go, then I'm sorry but you couldn't be more wrong."

"Enough," Haymitch snapped. "Something went wrong with the surgery, I assumed?"

"There was a raid; the place was raided by the police in the midst of her surgery. She was on the operating table, unconscious and with incisions on her stomach. The surgeon was apprehended. She was sent to the hospital but she had already lost too much blood."

XxX

With visiting hours over and they were chased out of the hospital, Haymitch found them a place at the nearby inn.

If he thought the boys would be wary of the unfamiliar room, he was wrong. Safe in the knowledge that their parents were nearby, the toddlers went about exploring the room. Tristan, with his curious soul and sharp eyes, overturned the magazine rack as he inspected and made a mess out of the reading materials. He pawed at the magazine excitedly while his brother followed Haymitch around.

"Don't make a mess," he said to Tristan. "Your mother will lose her head and we don't need that. We need sleep."

In the bathroom, Effie stood rigid in front of the mirror, tracing a scar on her collarbone with a forlorn, blank expression as she stared at her reflection.

"Effie, where are the boys' bottle? Effie?"

Getting no answer, Haymitch walked into the bathroom carrying both of his sons in his arms.

"Sweetheart?" he called out.

Effie spun on her heels, a pair of scissors clutched tight in her hand which was raised in a defensive manner and slashed the air. Haymitch's victor reflexes kicked in. He staggered back and turned his back partially to protect the children.

"I – Haymitch?" she blinked, her frightful eyes darting around the room. "No, I'm sorry!"

He gave her a look over his shoulder as he walked out of the bathroom, leaving her standing alone looking after them in horror. Haymitch placed the children in the playpen where a few of their toys were scattered around. It should keep them occupied for a while.

When he came back for her, he found Effie sitting at the edge of the bath tub, breathing heavily. She stared at the tiled floor. Haymitch approached quietly and sat next to her, careful not to touch her. From personal experience, when he had woken up brandishing his knife at imaginary assailant, he didn't like to be touched. It was difficult trying to shake the nightmare from what was real.

"What's the matter?"

Effie swallowed and shook her head.

"It's not nothing, sweetheart."

"I know it's not," Effie said. "I attacked the children."

"I gotta disagree with you on that. You didn't attack them. Look out the door, go on," he nudged her lightly, "they're fine, aren't they?"

"I know what I did! I could have hurt them."

"What's going on in your head, sweetheart? What were you thinking about at that point?"

"Nothing….and everything," she answered. "Does that make sense?"

"No," Haymitch said slowly.

He wasn't in the business of lying, trying to pretend to understand her when he didn't. But what had just happened was serious. Effie had never acted that way, as though she was in some kind of danger. Terrified enough to defend herself.

She was the one who had insisted he sleep with his knife kept in the drawer of the night stand instead of under his pillow for fear of him accidentally hurting the children while she was pregnant.

"I'm scared… for Johanna," Effie admitted.

"She's tough – "

"She must have been so desperate…. Why would she have done it otherwise?"

Haymitch kept quiet. He couldn't speak for Johanna.

"It's the law, Haymitch," she said firmly. "The law has hurt my friend. Why won't they end it?"

"You know why," Haymitch said. "We've talked about this."

Haymitch wrapped his arm around her, letting her rest her head on his shoulder. His eyes rested on the counter where Effie had placed the scissors. Discreetly, without her noticing, Haymitch moved his free hand to take it away. He kept it on him to be discarded later.

Even so, the uneasy feeling swirled in the pit of his stomach. The same feeling he had after he won his games, when Katniss went to the Capitol during the Rebellion and when he received the phone call to tell him Effie was in labour. It felt as if something terrible was about to happen. His gaze dropped to Effie's trembling hand, clasped tight in her lap.

As he sat there in the bathroom with Effie, one thing became clear to him - he needed to know what the Capitol had done to his wife.

 


	57. Chapter 57

Unable to sleep and shake off the feeling of disorientation often associated with being at an unfamiliar place, Effie got up and crossed the room towards the door. She doubled check that lock was firmly in place and waded back to the bed.

She watched over her children while they sleep; watched their chest rise and fall with each breath that they took. Ethan was sprawled on his back, arms and legs spread apart while Tristan slept on his stomach with a thumb stuck in his mouth.

"I didn't mean it," she whispered quietly, brushing Tristan's soft hair back from his small face. The toddler slept on, oblivious to his mother. "I would never hurt you both. You're my everything and I would never intentionally hurt you or your brother. It's just that… sometimes, things happen and it reminds me… of the past."

She touched Ethan's cheek gently.

"The last time I saw Johanna looking this pale and in pain was years ago. I should have better control of myself. I'm… I'm sorry, baby. Please, please know that I love you so very, very much," she said.

Effie kissed the top of Tristan's head and did the same with Ethan. She took the soft toy of a tiger next to Ethan and wrapped his arm around it. He stretched and clutched the toy tight, something she had bought as a joke because of the moniker Haymitch had given him.

On the bed, very much like Tristan, Haymitch was sleeping on his stomach. Effie rested her head on his back and draped her arm around his torso. Her added weight must have woken him up because Haymitch shifted, turning around to face her.

"You alright?" he rubbed his eyes sleepily.

Effie nodded and to reassure him, she kissed the corner of his mouth. "Go back to sleep."

"Boys woke up?"

"They're asleep."

"Then why are you awake? You're turning nocturnal now or what?" he mumbled under his breath.

Effie laughed at that. She pressed her cheek against his chest and allowed the steady beating of Haymitch's heart to lull her to sleep.

XxX

The four adults gathered at the hospital again the next day. Johanna was still unconscious. Felix and Gale were having urgent whispered conversation at the foot of her bed, a conversation Haymitch wanted no part in. Instead, he opted to wait out at the waiting room just down the hallway, bouncing Tristan on his lap while keeping a watchful eye on Ethan walking around the room.

Effie had just gotten off the phone with Annie which was a difficult conversation in itself because once Effie broke the news of what Johanna had attempted to do, Annie kept spacing out and dropping off the conversation entirely. Effie had to repeat herself at least twice to make sure Annie understood her properly.

The moment Effie hung up, Haymitch was about to suggest that she and the children should head out for lunch when Gale and Felix walked in.

"She may escape from being thrown to jail," Gale said without any preamble as he took a seat, "but there will be a hefty fine that she needs to pay instead."

Felix rubbed his face tiredly. He had spent the night at the hospital, turning the sofa at the waiting area as a makeshift bed while Gale stayed by Johanna's side. When Effie found out that Felix had stayed at the hospital instead of finding a decent hotel for himself, she was surprised but kept it to herself.

"So pay it," Felix said.

"The operative word here is 'may'. Johanna needs to wake up first and foremost, and explain why she did what she did. Only then would they consider the … appropriate punishment."

"What of her injuries?" Effie inquired. Johanna's punishment while important was not Effie's main concern.

"That crook of a surgeon didn't manage to get to her fallopian tube before the place was raided. She's… She's still able to have children, if she wants according to the doctor. Not so soon but she in the future... There's a massive tear at her navel area from the incisions so she would need awhile to recover from that. The fact that the sterilisation failed was the reason they are willing to consider a fine. If she had succeeded, she would be thrown in jail."

Effie breathed a sigh of relief. "I was so afraid for her."

"To be truthful, I'm not entirely sure Jo would be pleased to hear that when she wakes up," Felix voiced out. "I mean, she went through all that only to find out that it wasn't successful? I don't think she would be happy."

"Well, I'm sure that feeling would pass," Effie nodded to herself. "Johanna's still young. There's so much she could do, so much she would want that she may not realize yet. In the future, maybe five or eight years from now, she could have a change of heart and she would be glad that it failed."

XxX

Johanna woke up that afternoon. Effie was alone with her when she opened her eyes.

Felix, badly needing a distraction, was spending time with his nephews. Gale had finally taken Effie's suggestion that he needed to rest and was sleeping at the sofa Felix had slept on yesterday at the waiting area. Haymitch was trying to fix the situation.

"You understand what I'm saying, though, don't you? I  _know_  what she did was illegal but the Government is not unreasonable to throw her in jail. It will do all sorts of things to her," Haymitch explained to the District Two's representative to the Capitol, a Council member. "You need to look at her records. We extracted her from the Capitol's prison during the Rebellion. She was paraded for the cameras and tortured. Jail is out of the question."

Haymitch frowned as he listened to the voice at the other end of the line.

"If that's what you're going to call it then fine, we'll call it that – special treatment. Maybe that's exactly what I'm asking for you to do. I get it that – " Haymitch pinched the bridge of his nose. "The surgery was botched. It was a failure. Just slap her with a fine and be done with it. You know what? Maybe give her a warning, too or put her under surveillance just so you know she won't attempt it again. I don't care as long as it isn't prison."

"Johanna's one of you. You're a representative of the district,  _her_ district. She followed her husband here. Of course, she still has a house in Seven," Haymitch scowled. "You're just confusing the issue. She lives in Two with her husband for the better part of the year. There are paper works to prove that. You're supposed to be her voice. So I'm asking…" Haymitch paused. "Yeah, I understand. That's … I will be sure to convey your terms to her husband. You have nothing to worry about."

He hung up the phone and walked over to where Gale was.

"Wake up," Haymitch tapped his shoulder none too gently. "They're going to give her a fine. Alamar Gold gave his word. There will be no jail but they have a condition."

"Of course they do. What is it?" Gale asked warily.

"Gold wants an interview from her. She's to say that it was a mistake and for her to warn other women and men out there not to attempt something similar, that they should not seek medical surgery from unlicensed practitioner."

"No way," Gale shook his head. "She won't do it."

"So talk to her," Haymitch stood up. "I did what I could. You have to convince her now."

"What makes you think she will listen to me? There's no talking to – "

Gale broke off when a loud, angry shout echoed from Johanna's room followed by Effie screaming in fear.

Gale shot out of his seat and pushed past Haymitch for the door. Haymitch wasted no time making his way to Johanna's room, his thoughts on Effie. After what happened yesterday night, Haymitch was wary of her slipping into one of her episodes.

They burst through the door to a scene that made them stopped in their tracks. Haymitch took in the sight of the two women staring at each other. The hostile atmosphere in the room sent a chill down his spine.

Johanna had a broken vase clasped tight in her hand, the jagged and sharp edges pointing towards Effie who was shaking as she stood at the far end of the room, pressed against the wall. Effie gave no hint that she had heard them entered, unlike Johanna whose eyes flickered immediately to Haymitch and Gale. She lowered her hand.

Haymitch followed Effie's gaze. She stared transfixed at the red patch of blood slowly spreading across Johanna's hospital gown from where the stitches on her navel had torn open. Effie was looking at it with terror.

XxX

Effie was reading a magazine when she sensed movement. She lowered the magazine to pay close attention to the young woman. At first there was nothing else but then Johanna's fingers twitched once, twice before her eyes began to flutter.

A genuine relieved smile broke on Effie's face. "Johanna," she called out softly, reaching out to touch her cheek.

Johanna stared up at Effie, taking a moment to orientate herself with her surroundings. She moved her leg only to realize that her ankle was cuffed to the bed post. Johanna had only swam out from the haze of unconsciousness to fully comprehend what was going on. She only knew fear.

Effie found her hand being twisted painfully by the wild-eyed woman. She cried out in pain as Johanna frantically looked around. Only one word escaped Johanna's lips – "electric."

"No," Effie gasped, trying to wrench her hand free. "Let go."

"Elect –"

Effie pulled her hand and clutched it to her chest. Johanna grabbed the vase next to her bed, smashed it and waved it threateningly towards Effie which made her scream and run towards the other end of the room with her back pressed against the wall.

The cuff and the whirring of the machines must have set Johanna off. "They're heart monitors. Not… Not electroshocks," Effie tried. "Not electroshocks."

Johanna continued to struggle against her cuff, wanting to get out of bed. It caused her wound to split open and it began to bleed, a sight which immediately drew Effie's attention. Her vision began to tunnel and it felt as if her airways were constricted. Effie drew deep shuddering breath. At the back of her mind, she was vaguely aware of the sound of door opening and the crash of the vase as it dropped from Johanna's hand.

Johanna's gaze flitted to Gale and Haymitch standing by the door and that was when she seemed to realize where she was. She looked at her hand, at the cuff around her ankle, at the broken pieces of vase on the floor and finally up at Effie.

"Effie? Effie!" Johanna screamed at her trying to get her attention.

"Don't shout at her," Haymitch warned. "It'll only get worse."

Johanna ignored Haymitch.

"Effie! What's wrong with you, brainless? Look at me!" Johanna demanded, pressing a hand to her wound. Effie was still staring at the bloodied nightgown. The moment Johanna realized that, she pulled the blanket up to covered her stained hospital gown. "You should have known better. You're so stupid. Haymitch," she turned towards him, "it's the blood. She was bathed in – "

Effie ran out of the room.

XxX

There was no question as to what he had to do. He followed his instinct and chased after his wife. Haymitch had already feared the worst. They passed by Felix as he walked up leisurely along the corridor, pushing the twins' stroller. He stared at them in confusion as they ran past.

"Keep an eye on the kids," Haymitch shouted over his shoulder.

There was a blur of movement but Haymitch kept his eyes trained on the blonde head appearing and disappearing amongst the crowd.

"Effie!" he called out. "Sweetheart, stop!"

"Go away!" she screamed. There was fear in her voice.

Effie made her way out from the hospital and onto the streets. She dashed across the road causing people to shout at her angrily and the cars to honk. She glanced around, a petrified expression on her face. Even Haymitch was afraid for her. District Two wasn't like Twelve where the roads where less busy and therefore much safer.

"You'll get yourself killed!" he tried to make himself heard. He was catching up to her and Effie noticed that too when she looked over her shoulder at him. Her eyes widened in alarm, her face was pale as she struggled for breath.

"Stay away from me," she shouted.

Haymitch stopped. He raised both of his hands, trying to let her know that he meant no harm. "Okay, I'll stand right here. I won't come anywhere near, alright?" he was quick to assure her. "Don't run anymore, sweetheart, I'm beat."

For a long while, she stared at him. Haymitch waited until he thought it was safe to approach. He took one cautious step forward only to have Effie bolt away.

The frustrated groan escaped his lips but despite his lungs feeling like it may collapse at any time, Haymitch went after her. He never once thought that Effie could run this fast but she was afraid and fear could do wonders to the human body. Effie made her way blindly through the crowd, weaving the streets with no concrete directions in mind but the moment Haymitch realized where they were, the panic began to wrap itself around him.

"No," he breathed out, refusing to let the despair overwhelm him. "Effie, stop! You gotta stop, sweetheart," he called out. He tried to keep the emotions out of his voice but he couldn't control the desperation as Effie ran straight for the train docked at the station.

"Don't go on – "

Effie turned back once to look at him. Something had made her afraid and she was looking at him as if he would hurt her. Effie hopped on the train. Haymitch pushed himself forward, urging his legs to move faster, to get to her before … The train door slid shut in his face even as he skidded to a stop right in front of the train.

Her eyes were now blank and void, the fear had dissipated as she stood safe behind the door looking at him standing helplessly at the platform on the other side, unable to reach out for her.


	58. Chapter 58

At the back of his mind, Haymitch registered the announcement over the speaker system broadcasting the departure of the train Effie was in.

Effie had boarded the train without a ticket. Somewhere along the journey, someone will discover that fact and demand that she alight. Effie could be robbed in the train or she could decide to just get off at some random station because in her state, Haymitch wasn't sure if she knew what she was doing. How was he supposed to find her then?

A thousand thoughts ran through his mind, each more horrible than the last.

Haymitch pulled on the door handle frantically, trying to force the door open which only managed to catch the attention of the station master. He will drag Effie out kicking and screaming if it came down to that even if that would only aggravate her further but he would be able to help her at least. He would rather she be by his side in her situation; to monitor her until she surfaced out of whatever hell she was currently in.

"Open the door!" he gestured at the station master.

"Step away from that train, sir. The door cannot be opened now when the train is departing."

"You open this door right now!" he demanded. "My wife's inside, you understand? If you don't get her out she'll – "

"Step away, sir, or I'll get the police."

The threat fell short because there was no need for the police. The train was slowly moving, pulling out of the station. Haymitch stared at Effie. He held her gaze long enough to came to a heavy realisation that he wasn't looking at his wife. He saw instead the countless blank and terrified faces of prisoners he had seen rescued and pulled out from the Capitol's prison.

Haymitch's grip on the handle tightened as his heart began to pound. The door would not budge. Haymitch jogged alongside the slow moving train because there was nothing else he could do. He tried to keep up as best as he could, knocking on the glass window to get Effie's attention.

"Sweetheart," he mouthed. Effie took an alarmed step back. "You don't get off until this train reaches Twelve, you hear? Alight at Twelve and nowhere else. I'll meet you -

He was running out of space to run along the station as the train continued to move out. The desperation was mounting by the minute.

"Don't do anything stupid," the words spilled out of his mouth, the same advice he would always tell her whenever they had to part ways. "I'll see you again."

Haymitch released his hold on the handle as the train picked up speed. His last image of her was of Effie staring at him as if he was a stranger.

"I've seen things like this before," the station master shook his head sympathetically. "Marital dispute is common nowadays. For your sake, I hope she comes back."

Haymitch scowled.

An argument with Effie would be like drinking a glass of whiskey, he thought, it was something he was used to, something normal and familiar and as twisted as it sounded, it was something he was comfortable dealing with as compared to this.

XxX

His steps back to the hospital were heavy with dread, a terrible chain weighing around his ankle. Ethan and Tristan couldn't really speak and couldn't ask for her but they would look for her. He would have to take them home without her.

"You're alone," Felix rose out of his chair when Haymitch entered Johanna's room. "Where's Effie?"

"Gone," he said without any explanation. He wasn't in the mood for questioning. Haymitch lifted Ethan up from his stroller and held him close. He was still in the presence of Johanna, Gale and Felix and he so he refrained from burying his face in Ethan's hair. But holding his son close was a reminder that his children was still here and they needed him and that he needed to think about them, too. "I have to go."

"Wait a second, what do you mean she's gone?" Johanna scowled. The dressing on her wound had been changed but the cuffs remained around her ankle. She swore under her breath and rattled her leg in irritation. "Can you do something?" her question was directed at Gale. "I already said I will give the interview they wanted so much. There's no need for this!"

"You're going to talk to them?" Haymitch asked surprised. She shrugged. "You gonna be alright?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I?" she frowned. "Someone's coming in tomorrow to ask me some questions. They say they'll keep it short as if I'd believe that. But I don't fancy being back in a jail cell so I'll have those questions any day. We can't all win."

"Speaking of jail, you want to tell me what happened to Effie in prison?"

Johanna's eyes widened. The scowl disappeared from her face and for a flicker of a second, the confident, brash young woman was gone. It didn't last long because she was soon frowning. "Told you before that it's not my place."

Felix shifted in his seat. "Maybe… Maybe you should tell him… After what just happened, you know?"

"Not my story. I have no rights," Johanna gritted her teeth.

"Fine," Haymitch waved his hand. He didn't have time to stand here and argue. Johanna was hot headed and stubborn. If she won't say, then it would be difficult to change her mind which was what made Johanna trustworthy, the same quality that made Haymitch trust her to get Beetee and Wiress for Katniss and that she would protect Katniss and Peeta during the Quell. "I'll find another way."

"If she had never told you, it's probably 'cause she doesn't want you to know and isn't it better if it stays that way?"

"After she just ran out on us," he gestured to himself and the two boys, "like that? After she jumped on a train and looked at me as if she didn't know who I was? No, Jo, I think it's time I find out the truth. That's the only way I can help her."

Johanna nodded after a while.

"What happened in here earlier – "

"It wasn't your fault," Haymitch shook his head, swallowing the bitter taste on his tongue. He would have wanted to pin the blame on Johanna, to have someone to channel his frustration and anger but it wasn't Johanna's fault. They all have demons and even after all these years, they were all still trying to cope from the arena and from the war.

"Do me a favour - call Annie in Four and Beetee in Three. Ask them to keep a lookout for Effie just in case. I'll call Plutarch and Peeta," Haymitch said. "I don't think she will go anywhere else."

"I'll go with you to Twelve," Felix made to follow him. "The twins would…"

"That's not necessary, Felix. Stay here. I can get Peeta and Katniss to help out."

XxX

Haymitch saw Peeta standing the platform as the train pulled into District Twelve. He raised his hand in a wave when he saw Haymitch and the boys.

"Is she here?" Haymitch asked before anything else.

"She's here, came in yesterday night. Someone from town saw her wandering around and recognised her so he brought her to the Village. She's here and there, Haymitch. When we led her to our guest bedroom she somehow recognised that it wasn't her room. She insisted on going home only to have a panic attack when she couldn't find you or the boys. Katniss gave her… the sleeping syrup. It should wear off by now."

Haymitch nodded. They hurried along and to Haymitch, the walk from the train station to his house felt longer than normal. From the distance, he could see the looming blue roof of his house and as he approached the Village, he saw that the house was dark and the curtain had been pulled shut. He let the boys out from their stroller and they meandered straight to their swing set.

"I'll watch over them," Peeta offered. "Prim's learning finger painting and I'm sure your sons will be occupied enough with that."

Peeta motioned for Prim to come over and she brought with her a small canvas that she had been working on.

"We're going to paint outdoors today!" Peeta said cheerfully, a contrast against Haymitch's growing worry. "You want to show Tristan and Ethan what I taught you?"

The four of them settled on Haymitch's front lawn and when the boys were sufficiently distracted by the current activity, Haymitch ducked inside the house followed closely by Katniss.

"She may still be asleep. Don't startle her."

"I need to see her."

"How's Johanna?" asked Katniss, her voice a little louder than normal.

"Is now really the time?" Haymitch snapped. They heard quiet movements upstairs and it was enough for Haymitch to understand what Katniss was doing. Their voices had alerted Effie to their presence so it wouldn't be such a big shock if Haymitch were to suddenly appear. "She was awake when I left. She was under pressure from the law and it's driven her to the edge but… you know her, Katniss. She'll fight back."

"Good. And Effie? How bad is it?"

"You had to give her the sleeping syrup – what do you think?" Haymitch ran his fingers through his hair. "This one looks really bad. I have to see her."

"Wait," Katniss grabbed his arm. "You need to ask her what went on back then."

"You think I've never tried that before?"

"Then think of something else because with Peeta, we knew he was hijacked and we worked from there."

He gave a curt nod.

"Katniss?" he called out before she walked out the door. "Thanks."

XxX

Haymitch turned the door knob quietly, pushing the door open slowly so as not to frighten her. He found her lying on her back on their bed, her pale blue dress was wrinkled from having been slept in and her blonde hair spread over the mattress like a halo. She was mumbling under her breath.

"Tristan, Ethan, Haymitch," she repeated over and over again.

"Sweetheart," he reached out, touching her ankle.

The contact sent her scrambling as far away from him. She pressed her back against the headboard and stared.

"You made it back to Twelve," he gave her a tentative smile.

Effie nodded slowly.

"Haymitch," she raised her hand, reaching out for him and he brushed his fingers against hers. That was all it took for her to launch herself at him and if he had not had his feet planted firmly on the ground, Haymitch would have toppled over. Effie buried her face on his chest as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "I was alone. I was so alone."

"We came back for you. Just like I said we would," he stroked her hair, carefully maneuvering himself so he was seated at the edge of the bed. She laid her head on his lap and held on tight to his hand.

Effie ran her hand up his arm, to his neck and cheek, touching him to make sure he was there with her. Haymitch let her. It seemed to keep her grounded.

"My babies…?"

"They're outside, enjoying the sun. Peeta's teaching them how to finger paint. You want to see?"

Haymitch coaxed her out of bed. This wasn't new to him. How many times had he needed to talk and persuade Peeta out of his own mind when the boy had gone into the deep end? Too many.

With a hand resting on the small of her back, Haymitch led her out to the window by the hallway across from their bedroom. He drew the curtains back. Effie took a step closer and peered down at her children.

"Look, Ethan's got paint on his shirt already," Haymitch pointed out.

He waited for Effie to start fretting, to berate him for letting Ethan ruined the new shirt but she was quiet. Haymitch sighed.

"Hey, boys," he called out, pushing the window open to get their attention.

At the sound of his father's voice, Tristan lifted his head to search for Haymitch. When he finally turned around to face the right window and looked up, Haymitch wished he hadn't called out. Tristan's hands were both covered in bright red paint. There was a streak of purple across his face. Next to him, Effie went rigid all of a sudden and then she started screaming. He made a grab for her as she bolted down the stairs and ran outside.

XxX

Haymitch thundered down the steps and hurried after her. Effie was pulling on to Tristan's hand, trying to get him out of Peeta's grip. The boy was terrified and crying.

"Effie, calm down," Peeta tried.

"What have you done to him!" she screamed, clawing at Peeta.

"Nothing. We were just – "

"Stop it, Effie!" Haymitch grabbed her around the waist and hauled her away.

His actions weren't gentle because he was so afraid that she would dislodge the boy's shoulder the way she was pulling on to Tristan's arm. It worked to snap her attention back. Effie released her hold and stared at the each of them in turn. The sight of Tristan crying and the red finger marks around his arm sent her running into the bedroom, slamming the door loudly.

"What was that?" Katniss broke the silence. Haymitch had not noticed her before because when Effie had ran out to the lawn, Katniss had crouched in front of Prim and Ethan, and held on to them as they hid their face on her shoulders.

"It's the paint," he said. "She thinks it's blood. Effie lost it when she saw Johanna bleeding in the hospital."

"I'll wash it off him," Peeta winced. "I'm sorry, I didn't know."

"Dada," Ethan called, his lips was wobbling. He took a step towards Haymitch, arms stretched out asking to be carried. "Dada."

Haymitch gave a bark of laughter, bitter and raw. He lifted him up, wrapping his arms tight around his boys.

"You heard that, Katniss?" he asked as he buried his face on Ethan's neck.

"Did he just…" Katniss trailed off. "First time he ever called you?"

Haymitch nodded. He was so proud and he wished he could revel in that feeling but there were too many things happening all at once. Haymitch wanted to gloat, wanted to laugh at Effie because Ethan's first word wasn't to call out to her. But he couldn't because Effie wasn't there to witness it; she wasn't there to hear her son called out for his father. Effie who had been the most excited and who had speculated about their first word had missed it all. It was something she would never get back.

But maybe, if the situation had been different, Ethan wouldn't have called out for him. Maybe he would have called out for his mother.

 _Yes,_  Haymitch thought,  _that's what I'll tell Effie if she's upset about this._

XxX

Prim was scared and she kept tugging on her mother's shirt tail, pointing over to their house. Haymitch promised that he would call if he needed their help. When they left, he carried both boys up to their nursery. It was time for their afternoon nap - he knew because it was on the chalkboard in the kitchen Effie had bought months ago detailing the time they should have their naps and their bottle for Haymitch's benefit – so he settled them each in their respective cribs.

Haymitch dug Ethan's tiger plushie out of the bag he had not yet unpack and gave it to the boy. For Tristan, Haymitch gave him his pacifier. He stood over them and waited.

"Well, go to sleep," he frowned after ten minutes. "What are you waiting for?"

Ethan had sat up and was making noises that kept his brother awake. Haymitch had often put Tristan to sleep by letting the boy rest on his chest and he did the same this time, picking him up and settling down on the rocking chair Effie always occupied.

"It's the singing, isn't it?" he asked quietly. "I told Effie time and time again not to sing. This is exactly why."

They were not sleeping and Haymitch was growing increasingly worried. He needed to check on Effie but leaving the twins alone wasn't an option. In the end, he carried them both with him and settled down on the floor in front of the locked bedroom door.

"Effs?" he knocked lightly. "Are you alright?"

There was no answer.

"Listen, sweetheart, the boys are fine but they need you. I don't know what to do. They won't go to sleep. Must be your singing," he grumbled, "I think that's what they need. Will you come out?"

Only silence greeted him.

"Your mum's inside," he said. "She can't sing for you."

Tristan climbed into his lap and curled on it while Ethan was pressed against Haymitch's side, the orange tiger clutched in his hands. Tristan blinked at him sleepily.

"Tiger," he turned towards Ethan. "What you did today… Can you do the same for your mum? Can you call her the way you called me? You don't have to say much, just… say 'ma'. Say it, come on. It's just like Da," he said. "Can you do that for me? You want mummy right? Please, just…" he swallowed, "please, Ethan, just say 'ma'."

Ethan gave a toothy smile and rubbed his eyes. He snuggled against his father but said nothing.

Haymitch let out a breath and leaned his head against the door.

XxX

The boys eventually fell asleep out of exhaustion on the floor with Haymitch's arms around them. Haymitch talked to her occasionally through the door but nothing he said will draw her out.

When night came, Haymitch carried the two sleeping boys and settled them down on their cribs. He lay on the sofa in their room, staring at the ceiling. When Tristan began to stir, Haymitch brought the child over to the sofa where Tristan continued sleeping on his chest. It was comforting having the weight of his son on him, to be able to hold him and feel him breathing, alive and well.

"Your mum's going to be okay, I promise," he whispered. It took him a moment before he remembered something important even if it was a day late. "Happy birthday, peanut," he dropped a kiss to the top of his head.

Effie had wanted to celebrate their birthday. There had been cake and new clothes for the twins all of which was now forgotten and missed.

XxX

Peeta and Katniss came over to help in the morning. The boys' diapers needed to be changed, their bottle had to be ready and their food had to be prepared. Haymitch wasn't sure if the food came before the milk so he made both and put it in front of the boys and waited to see if they reached out for the bottle or the bowl of food. How Effie managed it all was a mystery to him but he felt her absence so acutely.

His thoughts kept circling back to her, alone and lost. His apparent distraction was something which Peeta noticed. He pulled Haymitch aside and kept his voice low.

"She usually snaps out of it pretty fast," Peeta pointed out. Haymitch resisted the urge to roll his eyes at the obvious deduction. "Don't take this the wrong way, Haymitch, but … Maybe… maybe you're not equipped to deal with her this time round. You need to get help. We can call Katniss' doctor in the city and – "

"I can get through her," Haymitch shook his head, counting the days since she fled from him. "I just need some time."

"She needs to eat," said Peeta. "And you need to eat, too. There's bread and soup in the kitchen so try to get her to open the door for food if you can. We'll take Ethan and Tristan to the bakery. They should be okay being away from you for a few hours."

"Yeah," Haymitch nodded. "Didn't kick up a fuss when Felix brought them out for a walk…. Just… Give me a minute."

Haymitch went to her door and knocked on it. "Sweetheart, Katniss and Peeta are taking the boys out. You wanna say goodbye to them before they leave? Give them a kiss or something…."

He waited. There was nothing forthcoming.

"She isn't coming out."

It was probably a good thing that the twins were not at home because half an hour after they left, Effie started screaming. It was brief and didn't last very long but it startled him all the same. Haymitch paced outside the room. He could hear her cry; quiet sniffles that made him feel helpless. He rattled the door knob. He could break the door down but that could make everything worst.

His fingers curled into a tight fist. Haymitch was frustrated and angry but he didn't know who he should be angry with. Just like back at the hospital, he wanted to blame it on someone, to redirect his anger somewhere. Should he be angry with Effie for putting him through this? For keeping things to herself and suffer in silence? Should he be angry because he was there when she had missed out on such important milestones in the twin's life? Effie should have been there taking photos of them to be put up on the blue string in their nursery. She should have been with them, pretending to be offended that Ethan's first word did not involve her but secretly delighted that her son had achieved something. She should have been there, setting Tristan down so she could teach him how to say 'mummy'.

Or maybe, he should he be angry with Snow. The man was long gone but his clutches could still be felt even now. War left marks on people and Effie had always been good at covering marks.

"Plutarch, I want her file. I don't care how you're going to access it. I want her file and I need it urgently. Every single detail and every single information from her arrest to her rescue and to her recovery in Thirteen."

 


	59. Chapter 59

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a suggestion, before you start reading this chapter or while reading this chapter, please go listen to Rest by Nevertheless (which is one of my favourite songs), I hope you'll have feels. :)

After her crying had died down, Haymitch spent the next hour talking to her through the door. She unlocked it eventually and let him in wordlessly. Effie watched him warily from her corner as he placed the soup and bread on the vanity table. He would have put them on the floor in front of her, but it felt too much like something they would have done in a prison setting.

"You need to eat, sweetheart."

"Children…" her voice was hoarse.

"With Katniss and Peeta at the bakery."

He helped her off the floor and on to the bed. He eyed her quietly as she slowly nibbled on the bread. Effie had not changed out of the clothes for two days now, her silky hair was a tangled mess and her face was streaked with dried tears. Haymitch handed her a wet towel but she only looked at him quizzically so he took it upon himself to gently wipe her face.

She looked a little better.

"You have to brush your hair," he spoke. "It's knotted and you'll complain about it."

Effie did not acknowledge him.

"This is home, isn't it, Haymitch? It has to be if you're here," she leaned against him.

"Yeah, it is," he wrapped an arm around her and kissed her temple. "You're home. Don't… Don't run away from me ever again."

"I didn't run from you," she sounded indignant. "The guards were after me. I would never run from you. Never."

Haymitch kept his silence. There was no point bringing up what she did just three days ago. She had said it herself, the guards were after her.

Haymitch stood up and Effie whimpered at the loss of contact. He blindly grabbed a clean shirt from their wardrobe which turned out to be his and much too big for her but that was the least of his concern. Haymitch helped her out of her wrinkled dress and put the shirt over her, buttoning it up. To fill the silence and to focus her attention on something other than her breakdown, he told her about Johanna.

"Johanna was discharged this morning but she's being closely monitored. Felix told me that they're fighting again – Gale and her. She'll be staying with Felix at the Capitol in the meantime. I don't know how that arrangement came to be but she said something about her head doctor being in the City," Haymitch paused. Perhaps this was a good time to ask Effie about her own doctor but suggesting that could make her fly off the handle. "They released her interview on the papers yesterday afternoon. I saved it, in case you wanted to read them."

There was a long stretch of silence as Haymitch helped Effie with her hair. He watched her face through the mirror. Her eyes were vacant; her movements were repetitive as she worked through the knots.

"There was a lot of blood."

Almost immediately, his mind connected the blood to Johanna's torn stitches. He pictured the blossom of red on Johanna's hospital gown.

"The doctor took care of it. Nothing serious. Changed the dressing. Jo's fine."

Effie shook her head. "There was  _a lot_  of blood. On the floor. They bathed me in it. They say… it was for all…"

Her face fell. She dropped the brush in her hand and turned away from him. Effie crawled back to bed and slid under the covers.

"But I didn't kill her," she whispered. "She killed herself. I saw it."

Haymitch was legitimately confused now. He towered over her, standing uncertainly on her side of the bed.

"The guards gave Johanna electroshock. You must keep her out of the water."

"Effie…"

"Peeta screams at night. It made Annie cover her ears. We can hear him. But if you get him Katniss, he would be better," her voice was monotonous and flat. She was telling him all that was wrong and expecting him to fix it. "He thinks Katniss is a monster. Johanna laughed. She shouldn't. It wasn't very nice."

"Do you know where you are, Effie?" he crouched at the side of the bed, trying to get her to look at him.

"District Thirteen," she answered in a heartbeat.

Haymitch hung his head. Her answer made little sense to him. If she truly thought she was back in Thirteen, there was no reason for her to be telling him events that happened only in Capitol prison.

"They will kill Annie in front of Finnick," she went back to recount, trapped in her flashbacks. "The guards told us so. You musn't let Finnick near a television. He can't see it. Johanna is angry. She said Annie didn't know anything."

"You need to snap out of it," he frowned, his voice coming out a harsher than he intended.

Haymitch pushed himself off and went over the children's nursery. He snatched the family photo she had taken when the children turned six months from the peg. When he entered their bedroom, Effie was still mumbling to herself.

"The guards cut off Johanna's hair. I saw it. They told me that they will make it into a wig for me. They say I will like it. I won't. I told them I wouldn't. I don't want to wear Johanna's hair."

"Look at me," Haymitch touched her shoulder, shaking her lightly.

Effie looked alarmed. Her eyes widened as she stared at him.

"I didn't kill her. She took her own life. She left me all alone."

He frowned.

"Of course, you didn't," he agreed. This was the most she had told him of her past. "Who left you, sweetheart?"

"But her blood was – "

"Who is in this picture? Do you know them?" he cut her off and held the photograph up before she could go on.

Effie lifted her gaze and studied the photograph carefully. Her eyes kept flickering to Haymitch, the confusion written plainly all over her face. She raised her hand to her face. Effie touched the bracelet Haymitch had given her as a wedding present. She frowned at the wedding ring on her finger.

"She looks like me. She looks so happy…."

"I'd like to think that she is," Haymitch smiled wistfully. "I want her to be happy."

"Tristan," she breathed out and pointed towards one of the boys. "I'm – We're married, aren't we? Why?"

"Why?" his voice sounded strangled.

Haymitch shook his head. He ran a hand down his face at a loss. It was replaced by a softer hand with a gentle touch. Haymitch looked up.

Effie's blue eyes peered at him curiously, studying him intently. She brought his hand up and traced his wedding ring to see that it matched with the one she has. Effie sat up in front of Haymitch who was still crouching on the floor and tugged on his hand so that he would sit next to her. Her eyes slid towards the wedding photo she had framed on top of their bed. Effie spent a long time just looking at the photo; taking in the clothes they wore, the way they looked and then the recognition settled on her feature as she came back to him.

"I remember," she frowned slightly. "You were drunk at our wedding."

"Yeah," Haymitch nodded, "you weren't happy."

The hazy glaze in her eyes had started to clear.

"I can't imagine why I would be," she gave him a small smile. Effie looked at the family photo in her hand. "I miss my babies."

As if on cue, there was a loud excited scream announcing Ethan's presence.

"They're home," he told her. "Come on, you want to meet them?"

Ethan was standing at the bottom of the stairs, leaning against the baby gate that Haymitch had installed as a security measure. When he saw his father, he waved the toy in his hand happily. Peeta appeared, carrying Tristan and when he saw Effie out of the room, Peeta smiled.

"Everything okay?" he whispered.

Haymitch shrugged. He watched Effie held on to Tristan's and Ethan's hand on each side as she walked with them towards the sofa. "She's out and she ate some food. That's a start. Not sure how long it'll last. She may slip."

"There has to be something that could keep her grounded," said Peeta.

"I'm working on it."

Peeta nodded and excused himself, claiming that he had left Katniss alone with Prim while she was throwing a temper tantrum.

"Haymitch!" Effie cried. "Ethan's clothes are mismatched and Tristan is wearing Ethan's shoes."

Effie was clearly dismayed and when he looked over his shoulder at them, he saw Effie trying to keep Ethan still so that she could get him out of the pants that he had to admit clashed horribly with the boy's shirt. All he knew was that the boys' needed clothes and trying to get the colours to match was the least of his worry that morning.

Effie gave him an annoyed look and he saw her. He saw his wife. He wanted to laugh in relief at the sudden normalcy. He wanted to tell everyone that she was back and if he was into that kind of things, Haymitch would have hugged her and spun her around.

He wanted to kiss her.

And he realized that he could. He could kiss his wife if he wanted to. Nobody was going to stop him. So he did just that. Haymitch went over, slid his hand against her cheek to tilt her face up and pressed his lips hard against hers. It left her flustered and slightly taken aback but she smiled at him and her eyes twinkled; her eyes that had been dull and empty and dead for the past few days.

"Dada!"

Ethan squirmed uncomfortably, trying to get out of his mother's grip.

"Haymitch?" she asked quizzically.

He froze. This was not a conversation he wanted to have at the moment. Effie would ask questions.

"Was this the first time?" she looked stricken.

He wanted to lie but Ethan repeated it, wanting to be carried and whisked away from his mother's attempt at trying to pry him out of his clothes. Ethan called Haymitch out so fluently that if he lied and said that this was indeed the first time such thing ever occurred, Effie would know.

"No, sweetheart," he sighed. "It happened while you were… It doesn't matter."

He watched her face change, saw the consternation settling in and saw her closing up again.

"I missed his first word?"

"Well… you just heard his first word," he tried. "He hasn't said anything else. And Tristan hasn't said his first – "

"I should be there. If I hadn't been so weak… I wanted so much to -"

"There's no way you could be there for everything that will happen in their life. I'm sure we won't be there for their first kiss. You really shouldn't be – "

It turned out that it wasn't the right thing to say. Her face fell, her hand twitched. Effie lowered her eyes.

"It's not the same," she sat quietly watching them but not interacting any further.

He didn't tell her about their birthday.

XxX

When Haymitch checked in on her, he saw her curled up in bed, an arm thrown protectively around Tristan as they both slept. He made sure that his knife was safely locked away, that there was no scissors or anything equally sharp within her reach. He pried her palm open to make sure she wasn't gripping on to anything that could harm Tristan in case she woke up thinking she was in danger. Effie stirred but he kissed her brow.

"Go to sleep," he said.

He left the door open.

Ethan stood next to Haymitch. The boy had taken to following him around wherever he went.

"Do you want to take a nap with your mother?" he asked but Ethan pointed down the stairs. He wanted to play.

"I'll take that as a no," Haymitch grumbled.

Haymitch brought Ethan's toys and spread them on the living room. While the boy was occupied, he called Plutarch to check on the status of the file. He was told that Plutarch was working on it.

He was asking for a huge favour but he needed Plutarch to come through. He needed those information. Effie may think that it should all have been kept in the past and he would agree except it was affecting the present. The uneasy feeling swirled at the pit of his stomach. This was wrong; to go behind Effie's back in this manner but he had been backed into a corner. Effie could not go on this way. She kept it all locked inside, refusing to talk about it and it had accumulated to this. His children needed their mother and it was not fair to them.

It was not fair that they were born to two broken people. They should never have been born and they would never have been born had it not been for the law. But they were both here and alive, something Haymitch still had trouble believing in. Effie and him had demons but Haymitch would give everything he had before he let those darkness touch his children.

And if that meant digging through Effie's past, then so be it.

He swallowed the bitter taste on his tongue and ignored the voice in his head as he sprawled on the sofa while keeping an eye on Ethan. He reached out for his flask and took a drink. Effie would kill him. He would have drunk more but Haymitch forced himself to keep it away.

XxX

Haymitch dreamt.

He may have been drugged with morphling but Haymitch recognised this room. It was the room he had up woken up to after his Games. Haymitch touched the spot on his stomach gingerly from where he had taken a blow from an axe. It felt sore. He turned his head, half expecting Chaff to be seated next to him, grinning like he had been when Haymitch woke up.

Instead, in his dreams, he saw his mother by the door. She walked into the room in a long white dress that flowed behind her. He knew then that he was dreaming because if his mother had owned a dress of that sort, she would have put it up for trade to feed her sons. It must belong to Effie, he concluded, which was odd in itself because he had not known Effie back then.

"Haymitch, my darling little boy," his mother smiled. She touched his cheek and Haymitch leaned in closer, craving the sense of safety that had long been missing in his life. "Rest now."

"I can't rest. They need me," he tried to say but his voice came out raspy.

His children. Where were they? Why weren't they here with him?

"Your brother's safe with me."

He wasn't talking about his brother but still, Haymitch looked around hopefully. "Where is he, ma?"

The hospital room vanished. It was an empty room that Haymitch found himself standing in. He looked down at his hands. They no longer belonged to the sixteen years old boy. Time made no sense to him in his dreams.

In the distance, Haymitch saw a boy. His body thrummed in excitement. It had been so long and he was eager to meet him – his brother, his little brother. They were all here; his family.

Only it wasn't Lief Abernathy.

It was Ethan. The boy was crying silently, the tears streaming down his face. Haymitch picked him up, confused. The crying stopped. Ethan framed Haymitch's face in his hand and gave a sloppy kiss on his father's cheek.

"Dada," he gurgled.

"Where's your uncle?"

"Your brother's safe with me," his mother repeated, appearing suddenly to his right. "You will do what you can for your family. You're my strong little boy, aren't you?"

"I -" he hugged Ethan close. "I don't know how. Effie's beyond help. I don't know if I'm doing it right."

"A mother needs only her children. Give them to her. Never separate them," her mother told him sternly. He did not know where that was coming from. He wasn't trying to separate them. "You are not helpless. You're the smartest child. You will know what to do."

He wanted to scoff. His mother used to say those things to him. He was the smartest, the cleverest and the strongest but looked what had happened when he outsmarted the Capitol - his family dead. He sold his family out.

"But I don't know how to protect them!" he raised his voice and he felt like the petulant teenager all over again. Haymitch did not want to be smart. It gained him nothing but a tragic loss. He did not want to be the strongest, either, because he wasn't and he did not want people depending on him. "Tell me. Tell me what I should do."

"Don't fail them like you failed us," his mother's voice grew cold.

Haymitch shrunk back like he had been slapped.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "Don't go."

The ground whirled beneath his feet and Ethan disappeared from his arms. Haymitch clawed the air desperately, batting away the fog that had settled around him. He started walking waving his hands in front of him to clear the air and stopped short when he saw three boys sitting on the floor of his living room in the Village, playing just as Ethan had been earlier.

Haymitch smiled and crouched down.

"Leif," he called out.

His brother looked up, smiling. His messy hair flopped down to cover his eyes and he pushed it aside impatiently.

"I like them," he told Haymitch.

"I know you would. They're good kids. They're mine."

Leif nodded.

"But I got to bring them back," Haymitch spoke. "Mum says Effie needs them."

His brother frowned.

"No. They're my friends now. They're staying to play," his brother pinched his lips.

"Effie needs them, Leif."

"No!" His brother roared and the innocent expression morphed into one of anger. "They're coming with me."

Lief grabbed Tristan's hand and dragged the boy over the floor. The fog thickened, obscuring Haymitch's vision.

"You can't, Leif. It's not time! They're my kids."

"You can have others! I only have two friends."

Haymitch picked his children up and Leif clung to his legs desperately.

"I want my friends," he wailed. "Please, Mitchy, I don't want to be alone anymore. You put me here! You made me have no friends."

The twins had started to cry, struggling in his arms and when his hold on them slackened, they ran towards Leif.

"You can't have them!" he shouted at his brother.

"I'll take them to Ma and she'll look after them just like how she took care of us."

"They have their mother. Effie will look after them."

"But she's no good, Mitchy. She has nightmares and she sleep in her room all day. She's sick."

Effie appeared, hands outstretched towards her children. The fog descended on her and swallowed her.

"She'll get better," he promised even as Effie began to disappear from view, her screams echoing in his ears. "She'll get better. Give me my sons back, Lief."

"You're no good either. You destroy everything you touch."

Haymitch awoke with a start. Ethan had thrown a wooden block on his head and was laughing at his father's dazed expression. He threw another expecting the same reaction except Haymitch was frowning.

He reached out to grab Ethan's hand but pulled it back hastily.

_You destroy everything you touch._

Maybe his brother had been right but Haymitch wanted to prove him wrong. There was a way for him to help Effie. There has to be.

XxX

Effie did not keep to herself or lock herself away like she had but there were no improvements in her. Haymitch skirted around the subject and they never talked about what happened in District Two or her breakdown. He wasn't sure if she was truly aware of half the things that had happened.

Effie lacked her usual energy and spirit. She dragged her feet and she walked with a hunch. She was skittish and jumped at the slightest noise. She was incapable of consoling Tristan when the boy was crying and snapped at him to be quiet instead. Haymitch took him away, giving Effie an irritated glare although he knew it wasn't her fault. Her nightmares became increasingly worse. Her screams were so loud it woke the children up. Haymitch had to send them over to Katniss and Peeta while he talked to her and tried to calm her down. It kept him up at night and Haymitch was in a state of constant exhaustion.

Annie spoke to her over the phone and so did Johanna. Effie cried as she talked to them. He was not privy to any of the conversation. But if she was talking about what was haunting her to people who had experienced the same, then Haymitch was not about to stop her.

Haymitch pressed Plutarch for the file, telling him it was urgent.

The file came at the end of the week, delivered straight to the office of District Twelve's representative. The contents were so confidential that the representative had been asked to keep his silence and only Haymitch was allowed to personally collect it from the office.

Katniss came over when Haymitch told her that he needed her to keep an eye on Effie and the children while he ran some errand at town. She did not ask any questions. She had no reason to.

Haymitch picked the file up. It was thick and it felt heavy in his hand, as if it contained the world's entire precious secret. It might as well have. He headed to town afterwards to get some groceries in order to keep up the pretenses.

He locked the file in the study. Effie hardly ever entered the room unless she was helping her with the appeal but he locked the file in one of the drawers just in case. Nobody except Plutarch knew that the file was with him. The District Twelve's representative merely thought it was something important for the appeal.

Haymitch waited until nightfall when the boys and Effie had gone to sleep before he went back to the study. He carried with him a full bottle of whiskey. Whatever was in that file, he couldn't read through it without something to help him along the way.

This became his ultimate betrayal to Effie.

_Euphemia Trinket._

_Classified Information – State Property._   _Level 7 clearance._

Haymitch opened the file.

 

_Thanks for reading! And i hope that song has helped in some ways. Please review & see you in the next chapter._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to ease you slowly to Effie's horrors and build it up before Haymitch finds out about her experience.


	60. Chapter 60

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've come to the chapter that I know, some of you have waited for months - what Effie went through. When I asked (on my tumblr), most people wanted to see the chapter in both Haymitch's and Effie's POV. They want to know Effie's experience and how Haymitch felt when he found out so I incorporated both of their POV in this chapter. I'm worried that it might be confusing (so to clarify, italics will be Effie's and non-italic is Haymitch's).
> 
> Warning for torture narrative.

 

The smell of old papers hit him first. The documents bound in this file was years old, buried in the City's archives since the war ended. How many years had it been? Less than five years, he calculated. Between then and now, their lives had woven paths and created memories that seemed far from the horror of the past - the twins were a year old and they were married nearly one and a half years ago - but if the last few days were anything to go by, the horrors never truly left her just like how it had never left him. He still live in the arena on bad days.

Haymitch thumbed through the first few pages of the files which contained expected background information of the detainee. There was a picture of her taken on the day she was capture, he guessed, details of her date of birth, place of birth, her family members and known connections. Haymitch saw his own name on it.

He skimmed through these, not really giving it his full attention. He flipped through the pages that gave the details of Effie's formal education up until she became an Escort. The Capitol certainly kept a close tab on its people and he briefly entertained the thought of the kind of information that could be found in his own file. He paused to take in a few noted peculiarities on record. Effie excelled in mathematics although he wasn't sure why this was of particular interest to the Capitol and when she was nineteen, had taken an architectural course on ruined, historical sites. He understood why an architecture course would send alarm bells ringing. It did not gel with Effie's image.

The information he was interested in came in the next section. Here, Haymitch stopped; his finger absent-mindedly folded the corner of the page. It wasn't too late to put the file away. He hadn't come across any information that would completely shatter Effie's trust in him.

He reached out for his whiskey and poured it into a fine cut glass. It was clear that he was deliberately, prolonging reading Effie's file. He brought the drink to his lips, letting the familiar burn of the whiskey comfort him. Held back by the weight of an enormous guilt, Haymitch closed the file.

The pacing began almost immediately.

"You'd wear out the carpet, Haymitch," Effie would say except she wasn't here to admonish him.

There were people that he could call, people who had been there with her; Johanna, Annie or he could even ask Peeta. The boy's cell had been next to hers, after all. But he knew Johanna was a dead end having refused to budge time and time again. Annie was risky. She might blank out and Haymitch didn't need her going back to places out of their reach. Not without Finnick to coax her out and especially not when little Finn was depending on her. Which left Peeta but … did he really want to throw the boy back into his nightmare for information?

In the end, whether it was an act of desperation or extreme folly, Haymitch scraped his chair back and sat down, pulling the file towards him. He brushed his thumb lightly over Effie's name.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," he said to the empty room. "I don't believe in your code of silence, not when it's harming us all."

The page was easy to find from where he had dog-eared it earlier. Haymitch flipped to it.

**_Phase 1; Day 1 to Day 5 – Isolation_ **

_She clenched her fist tight causing the nails to dig into the soft flesh of her palm. This was it - the beginning of her end. She played a dangerous game gathering intelligence and information important to the Rebellion and was always aware of the risks involved. But knowing and experiencing occupied two different spectrums. Effie was terrified. She had no reason to believe that she would make it out alive._

_Effie stumbled her way through the corridor, all the while aware of the gun pressing against her back. Her breath caught in her throat at the thought of them letting lose a bullet and having it lodged in her spine. She would be paralysed for life if the bullet did not kill her._

_The guards threw her into a windowless cell which was shaped like a pod, hence the reason why the high security prison was nicknamed The Pod. From the moment the door slid shut behind her, Effie was left entirely alone. Time became a distant concept and for someone so used to running her life around a schedule down to the last minute, the inability to tell time was affecting her greatly. Sunlight did not filter through her pod for her to gauge time and food came at odd hours each day to throw her off. Effie occupied herself by talking quietly and tried to give herself encouragement in the bleak situation to see through each day._

A page for a day and Haymitch read through all five pages describing in detail Effie's first five days as a political prisoner. There was no surprises, nothing out of the ordinary. It was something all detainees went through in the beginning stages except some of them were beaten but Effie had been largely left to her own devices. She had not been physically harmed and abused.

It was not something that put him at ease. These pages only accounted for the first five days when he knew that Effie had been held for weeks, and judging by her nightmares and flashbacks, she had suffered far worse and had seen terrible, unspeakable things.

Haymitch poured more whiskey, filling the glass to the brim. The audio monitor sat on the desk, not picking up any sound from the nursery. He had taken the audio monitor away from the nightstand in their bedroom so as not to disturb Effie.

Everything was quiet and peaceful except for the pounding in Haymitch's chest.

**_Phase 1: Day 6 – Social Recalibration_ **

_Being a circular holding cell, the Pod was slowly getting under her skin. Effie sat in the middle of the cell with her knees drawn. The guards found her that way. They hauled her to her feet, flanked her on each side and nudged her out of the holding cell._

_"Where are we going?" she asked._

_"You don't get to ask questions."_

_They made a sharp right turn into a long stretch of corridor that looked exactly as hers had been, making any attempt of escaping difficult and otherwise impossible. A door slid open and they pushed her inside. A young woman with green eyes stared up at her._

_In her haste to reach the young woman, Effie tripped over her own feet but once they were close enough, Effie pulled her into a hug._

_"Annie," her voice shook. "Annie."_

_Annie Cresta stiffened in Effie's arms. Effie knew the victor, of course. She knew all the living victors by name even if they hardly met and Effie had only met Annie once after she won her Games. Annie was never a mentor thus their interactions were limited but to see another human, a familiar face was not something Effie knew she needed until now._

_"Escort - Effie Trinket," Annie whispered._

_She nodded, the tears stung her eyes. "Yes."_

_Annie must have been left alone for days too because she clung to Effie as desperately as Effie was clinging to her._

_"Have you seen anyone else?" Effie asked._

_Annie shook her head mutely. Her eyes were wide as she pointed to her ear and gestured for Effie to sit with her on the floor of their pod. Annie leaned against her as they listened to the screams of other prisoners._

_"They're going to come for us next," Annie stated as a matter of fact, covering both ears with her hands._

_"Not for you. You don't know anything about any of this, do you?"_

_She turned towards Effie then, her eyes were asking the question that she couldn't voice. Effie lowered her eyes._

_"That's why you're here," Annie nodded._

_Effie could neither confirm nor deny it because the door opened and Johanna Mason joined their company, spewing obscenities at her captors. She had taken a beating and was bleeding in several places. The guards could have placed her in any other cell but she was there as an example to Annie and Effie of what could happen to them._

_Johanna's eyes glittered with hatred as she made a rude gesture. When she turned to look at her present company, Effie could feel the anger burning and she was glad. If Johanna could still be mad, it meant that they had not managed to break her yet._

_"Present company included, this cell is better than the last one. Did you hear them scream?" she flopped down across from them, wincing in pain but trying to hide it._

_"Yes," Effie said._

_Annie had covered her ears again and Johanna eyed her before turning her attention back on Effie._

_"You're Capitol," she threw the words out but with none of the malice Effie expected from the woman. "What are you doing here?"_

_"Same reason as you – they want something out of me," Effie answered cautiously._

_"If you're here, I'm guessing you're not a loyalist," Johanna raised a dubious eyebrow. She took her time thinking about it for a minute, her brows creased as she began to piece it all together. Johanna lowered her voice. "Haymitch had an informant. Someone on the inside."_

_Effie nodded._

_Johanna stared at her and then she sneered._

_"Who would have thought? I still don't like you," Johanna made it clear, wiping the blood from the corner of her mouth. "But if we're gonna be spending time in the same room until one of us is beaten to death - " Annie made a strangled noise of distress, rocking back and forth. Effie glared at Johanna. "- then I guess I could tolerate it with a non-conformist."_

_Annie's eyes darted between the two women. She held her hand out to Johanna and then to Effie, the latter was quick to accept it. Johanna rolled her eyes when she understood Annie's intention but gave a grunt as she sat on the floor next to Annie's left and extended her hand. They sat with their hands linked. Annie had stopped shaking._

**_Phase 2: Day 7 to 11 – Sensory Deprivation_ **

_Annie was nodding off on Effie's shoulder when she was thrown back as the guards came for Johanna and Effie. Johanna was dragged by her hair out of the pod, kicking and screaming. Effie sank her teeth on one of the guards' arm, something so reprehensible she would not have done it otherwise and was slapped across the face. Their screams reduced Annie into a ball with her hands once again clamped shut over her ears, muttering under her breath._

_Johanna and Effie were separated, taken into opposite direction. They threw her into a room, pitch black and empty as far as she could tell. Effie struggled for breath as she realized that they meant to lock her up here in isolation. Again._

_"No, don't leave me, please," she turned, hands outstretched towards the guards. They laughed in her face even as she ran towards the door only to have it slammed shut in her face._

_Effie pounded on the door, screaming for the guards to let her out. The panic was overwhelming. She couldn't see. She wanted to be let out._

_Effie shouted for help, cried out helplessly for Annie and Johanna and Haymitch. She cried for her kids. If Katniss was the face of the Rebellion than she would save her, wouldn't she? She would come. One of her kids would come. Peeta would make sure they would all be taken away from The Pod when the time came. Her voice was hoarse and she felt the fight leaving her. Effie slid against the wall in exhaustion._

_Darkness became her companion._

_It made no difference to her if she close or open her eyes. She wasn't even sure if her eyes were open most of the time. There was nothing that she could see, not even her hands when she waved it in front of her face. Effie was so concerned with her inability to see that she failed to realize until some days later that the room was probably soundproof. She had not heard anything from outside – no screams from prisoners or guards talking to themselves or footsteps along the corridor – except for her own breathing. Nothing came from the outside and no one came for her._

_They had deprived her of her sight and made her ears useless._

_For days, Effie fumbled in the dark, walking with her hands stretched out against the wall, trying desperately to orientate herself. The texture on the wall and on the floor was the same._

_Effie felt herself losing her sanity which sent her into hysterics. It came when she couldn't tell if she was leaning against the wall or lying on the floor. The fear was slowly eating her inside out._

_She called the room the BlackHole. They were sucking her away from existence._

_"My name is Effie Trinket," she said out loud._

_"You have not been permitted to speak, traitor."_

_Effie glanced up. There must be a speaker system because that was where the voice was coming from._

_"My name is Effie Trinket," she whispered._

_If she didn't remind herself, she might just forget who she was._

It was a mind game, plain and simple as that. It worked so well to disorientate the prisoners; having been kept in isolation for days with no news and explanation only to be pulled out and left in a cell with people she knew. It gave her some semblance of comfort, brief though it was and simply because it was within their power, the guards yanked her out to put Effie through sensory deprivation which was psychologically designed to break anyone's mind.

Effie was no different. They were trying to erode her personality and from what he had read thus far from her file, their method proved to be working.

Haymitch couldn't imagine what it was like. He had often passed out only to wake up in dark corners at odd places but it was different because he could always get up and walk off, back to his house or back to the Penthouse. He had control, an important element missing in Effie's situation.

It explained her behavior a lot. He understood the reason her hand would start roaming the room, moving bottles on the vanity so that it would clink against each other when he switched off the lights. He had thought it was her organized nature, rearranging the bottles neatly but he was wrong. If she was on the bed when he turned the lights off, her hand would start drifting towards him until she made contact with some parts of him. It had irritated him last time but Haymitch was used to it now.

The reports were so detailed that Haymitch felt the horror so acutely although it was nothing compared to what Effie must have felt. They had left her alone in the dark room but they had monitored her constantly and noted down her behaviors and reactions.

He was furious certainly but it was years too late. It was clear that to the guards, the prisoners were nothing more than garbage, worthless the moment their usefulness expired.

**_Phase 3 - Day 12 to 15; Sensory Stimulation_ **

_Sleep came and went in sporadic cycles accompanied by haunting dreams so when the lights came, Effie assumed she was dreaming. She was probably already dead and this was the light they promised at the end of her tunnel._

_Except that was not the case._

_The BlackHole was flooded with bright, searing lights. Instinctively, Effie shut her eyes and buried her face in the crook of her arm. The ferocious beam pierced through her eyes and after days of darkness, her eyes hurt so very badly. This went on for hours._

_She struggled to adjust to this sudden change and then she heard it._

_The BlackHole was dark again. The lights had been snuffed but she heard their voices loud and clear over the speaker system. It took her a moment as she searched her rusty memories before she placed what was so familiar about the voices._

_Grady Fischer and Lorna Dame._

_They were her first pair of tributes - cousins. Lorna died at the Cornucopia. Grady died two days later, drowned at a lake by the tribute from District Five._

_Their voices had been taken during their interviews as they introduced themselves to the crowd and to Caesar._

_For the next couple of hours, the speaker system played the voices of all her tributes in a loop, ending with Katniss and Peeta, before going back to Grady and Lorna._

_Effie yelled and begged for them to stop but it was in vain because she couldn't even hear her own voice over the recordings, but still she screamed hoping someone out there could hear her and end the madness. Days and long stretches of silence made the whole experience ten times worse. She never wanted to hear another voice again. She craved for the quiet now, for the vacuum that sealed her from this pollution._

_Her descend into instability was being observed by the guards behind the glass window, unnoticed by her._

_She took a leaf out of Annie's book and curled into a ball, with her hands clamped over her ears. It did little to block out their voices._

_Effie emerged and lifted her head up when the noises stopped as suddenly as they came and silence once again reign the BlackHole. It was dark and quiet and she was used to this._

__She did not know it yet but t_ he visual stimulus came next._

_Effie was limp as a rag doll, allowing the guards to lift her up without a fight as she was roughly pushed into a chair. Effie only began to struggle when they strapped her head, trapping her so there was no way else for her to look but forward._

_A screen was lowered._

_Confusion had long abandoned her. Effie had stopped questioning and had resigned herself to whatever was concocted for her. They had started playing the grainy video and as the room came into focus the terror crawled out of the crevices of her skin and swarmed her whole. She recognised the room. She had not stepped foot in it for years but she knew it all too well._

_The panic weaved itself around her throat and Effie thrashed against her seat._

_The video of her sister's death was playing on the screen for her to watch and this was the first time she saw her sister taking her own life. She had lived with the knowledge for years but watching it with her own eyes was different, it was horrifying. Effie had no knowledge that her sister's bedroom had been bugged._

_Effie snarled and hissed and cried. She screamed and shouted and pleaded. She swore she would kill them all. There were cuts on her forehead from the straps that held her in place, injuring her as she struggled._

_She tried shutting her eyes but each time she did, a jolt of electricity would run up her thumb. Her nerves were frayed. There was too much stimuli after a period of nothingness, too damn much._

_As was the case with the auditory stimulation, the video was played on repeat. Her sister was alive, bleeding on the floor and then she had stopped breathing._

_Alive, bleeding, dead. Alive, bleeding, dead. Over and over and over._

_The video stopped abruptly._

_Effie had no more tears left to shed. She merely stared blankly at the screen in front of her._

_They released her from the chair and left her curled in a fetal position on the floor, shaking like a leaf._

_Effie was barely even aware of her own existence. She wanted to die. Eventually, she supposed she must have fallen asleep where she dreamt horrible things about her sister and her tributes - dead people who stretched out their arms and crooked their fingers, beckoning for her to join them. She wanted the release. She needed it._

_The temperature dropped steadily and the chill wrapped around her bones. Effie pushed herself up and pressed herself against the wall. The BlackHole was no longer dark. It was illuminated by a dim light. The smell hit her first, sharp and metallic._

_The scarlet liquid was flowing slowly on the floor towards her, covering the surface area at a steady pace. Effie took deep shuddering breaths, hyperventilating and trying to find a way to escape._

_She couldn't._

_There was no dry island for her to stand on as the floor bleed._

 


	61. Chapter 61

_Effie pressed her body against the wall, willing herself to disappear but if wishes were granted, she would have been gone from the first day she was captured._

_She jerked when the blood finally touched her toes. Her nerves fired the stimulus up her brain and Effie shuddered. It was a different sensation from what she was used to in her BlackHole. The liquid was warm and sticky against her skin, a stark contrast from the chill in the room. Warm blood. Warm meant the blood was fresh._

_There wasn't enough air in the room. Her chest hurt from trying to breathe. The tears made her sight blurry but she could still see the pool of blood glimmering red. She forced herself to tear her gaze away and stared up at the ceiling._

_"_ _Please," she rasped. "Please make it stop."_

_The guards watched impassively from the glass window above._

_"_ _It's her blood, in case you're interested," one of them sneered. "That weakling you just saw dying over and over."_

_A strangled whimpered escaped her lips. It can't be true. It can't be her sister's blood. She died years ago. They wouldn't have been able to get her blood, would they?_

_But if they managed to capture the video of her sister's death… then maybe the blood really was hers._

_"_ _Not only her blood," another voice cut in. "The tributes too."_

_"_ _You're right, it's their blood. All of those. Soak it in, traitor. You spilled their blood after all," they laughed at their own joke._

_Effie crouched on the floor, heaving and sobbing._

_"_ _She stinks, don't you think? I don't think she's seen the shower since she got here."_

_"_ _Give her a shower then," one of the guards cackled._

_No sooner had he said it, a bucket was upended, drenching her. She didn't need to look to know what it was. She could taste it on her tongue as it dripped down her face and into her mouth._

_She couldn't breathe. Effie was horrified and shocked and extremely confused. She couldn't tell where the truth and the lies began. With only her captors words in her ears, Effie started to believe everything they said. They've bathed her in her tributes blood and in what had once flowed through her sister's veins._

_Effie screamed and screamed. She scratched her skin raw trying to get it all off her. But the more she thrashed, the more the puddle splashed on her skin._

_She called them names which only made them laughed harder. Effie kneeled on the floor, the tears making a clean path down her blood crusted cheeks as she lost her mind. In the end, she curled on the floor, mumbling incoherently to herself._

_Effie was beyond reasoning and beyond reach._

_They left her in that blood covered room for another day._

_When she fell asleep, she dreamt of her sister drowning in a red sea and each time she was close to death, she resurfaced again to grin at Effie. She saw the Capitol flooded and every tribute flushed out, floating with blood oozing out of the wounds from their bodies._

Animal blood, he read on the file. Haymitch pushed the file away from him violently and rushed out of the study into the bathroom. Bile rose in his throat as Haymitch dropped on his knees and retched.

The entire phase involving sensory stimulation was inhumane and they had done it to  _her,_  to his Effie. They brought up her worst memory - twisted and manipulated her sister's death – and made it even more unbearable with the introduction of blood. It explained the whole incident with Johanna's blood stained hospital gown and the red paint on Tristan's hand. Behind his revulsion, there was a deep seated admiration for Effie to have gone through that and lasted reasonably well without breaking until recently. She had tried to put it all behind and soldier on with her life, to lead it as normally as she could but like the flow of blood even she couldn't escape its course.

Haymitch squeezed his eyes shut and leaned his forehead against the toilet but all he saw was the various photographs he had just seen in her file; photos of her strapped to a chair; photos of Effie drenched in blood, her mouth opened in a silent scream and crying in agony; photos of her curled on the floor with only the white of her irises visible.

His stomach twisted and he felt the urge to throw up again but forced it down. He spent the next half an hour sitting on the bathroom floor trying to regulate his breathing. There was an overwhelming need to give up and stop, to not read any further but he couldn't. He had started this. He should commit himself to it. Maybe it was his penance to feel her sufferings, to burn with anger and yet unable to do anything. He wanted to kill those men. He had killed once in the arena, what difference would it make if he murdered one or two more? He was a murderer and it would not make any difference.

He knew their names. He could do it.

An image of Ethan grinning toothily at him seared itself behind his eyelids and it was replaced with Effie laughing at something Tristan had done. He had murdered in his past but this was his present and his children needed a father. He couldn't do that if he was incarcerated behind bars.

And then there was Effie. She needed help and he owed her that. He would help especially when he had gone out of his way to do things behind her back. She would be angry but he hoped that she would understand why he did the things he did.

He couldn't afford to think of what his betrayal would do to them, not at this moment.

**_Phase 4: Day 16 to 20 – Social Recalibration_ **

_When they finally extracted her from the BlackHole, Effie was shaking and barely able to stand. They transferred her back to the pod with Annie and Johanna._

_Effie was wild eyed and terrified. The blood had dried and crusted over her skin. When Annie and Johanna saw her, nobody moved until Annie timidly asked, "Effie?"_

_She gave a single nod and collapsed on the floor._

_"_ _That must be how I looked like during blood rain," Johanna croaked from her corner._

_Effie lifted her eyes and saw Johanna with her knees drawn, her body twitching every so often._

_"_ _What did they do to you?" Effie asked._

_Johanna ignored her. The pod was quiet. Annie tried in vain to scrub the crusted blood off Effie's face and her exposed skin. Effie stared at the red stain on Annie's prison clothes._

_Food came but Effie couldn't eat more than a few bites before she threw it up. Johanna wrinkled her nose but she wasn't in a better state either. Her hands shook very badly when she tried to pick up the bread. Effie saw some burnt marks on her skin and over the next few days, Effie learnt what they did to her each time she was dragged out of the pod._

_The guards came and kicked Johanna in her ribs for wasting food. Effie clung to the man's leg weakly, telling him to leave them alone. His face contorted into a rage._

_"_ _Would you like a wig, Trinket?" he asked._

_Effie was startled by the sudden question but she nodded hesitantly. It was something comforting, something familiar for her to hide in._

_The guard yanked Johanna by her hair and started to haphazardly cut it off with his knife._

_"_ _We'll make you a nice wig with Mason's hair. You'll like that, won't you?"_

_"_ _No," Effie shook her head. "No, please, please leave her alone."_

_They never did leave Johanna alone. She was taken out each day for questioning and when she returned, her limbs would be twitching from the electrocution. But each time, she brought them news._

_"_ _Peeta's alive," she whispered. Her lips were swollen and Effie had to lean in close to hear. "I saw him."_

_"_ _That's good. That's good, I'm glad," Effie nodded, brushing back what little hair Johanna had left as she laid on Effie's lap._

_"_ _I'm not. I think we're better off dead."_

_"_ _Finnick will come," Annie assured them._

_Nobody bothered to tell Annie that they had been here for weeks and no one had attempted to get them out._

_Effie began to shadow Annie in that cramped cell space when Johanna was taken away. It made her feel better to hear Annie's breathing, to reach out to someone, to have Annie speak to her even though at times, Effie could hardly understand her. But when Annie retreated into her mind, mumbling something about swimming in a flood, Effie would talk to her quietly just because she could, just because unlike the BlackHole, there was another breathing, living human being for her to talk to instead of talking to herself._

_The guards would pull her out occasionally during their downtime. They would taunt and beat her up because it passed the time and they would use this time to ask her questions about the Rebellion. She bore bruises and knife marks that she would carry for the rest of her life. They never gave her any serious, life threatening injuries._

_"_ _I wish they would kill us already," Effie admitted quietly after she returned back to the pod after a particularly long session of beatings._

_Johanna kept her silence. She had shared the sentiment far too many times._

**_Phase 4: Day 21 to 23 – Interrogation_ **

_One day, when Effie was wrenched out of the Pod, she thought it was for the normal beating and questioning. But as they brought her further and further away, she became fearful that they would throw her back into the BlackHole. She didn't think she would be able to cope with that._

_It wasn't the case. She was brought into a normal looking room and they gave her coffee. Effie stared at the beverage for a long, long time. Coffee was a luxury here. When she saw the guards drinking from the same tumbler, Effie reached out for it with shaking hands. The man sitting across the desk from her swept it off the table. He was a large sized man with a small head that Effie thought was grossly disproportionate to the rest of his body. It made his head looked like a tiny bean._

_She called him Bean. It made him feel a little less intimidating and it amused her so. It was the only thing left that she could do apart from vehemently wishing that his blood would spill on the floor just as the coffee had. And then she shuddered, remembering the pool of blood she had spent days in._

_"_ _Ready to talk?" Bean asked. "I've been told that you're still not talking."_

_She did not answer._

_"_ _You like that video we played for you? Thought you might want to know how your sister died and left you all alone."_

_Effie went rigid. She clenched her fingers into a fist, an act that did not go unnoticed by Bean._

_"_ _Your sister was weak," he spat. "Are you as weak as her?"_

_She turned her nose at him and stared defiantly out of the glass window._

_"_ _You're going to tell me exactly the kind of information you passed on to the worthless rebels."_

_"_ _Or what?" she challenged._

_"_ _Or the next time, we will drown you in more blood. We have Peeta in this block. His blood would do nicely."_

_Was that why they kept Peeta alive? To drain his blood in order to torture her?_

_"_ _I have no information to give."_

_"_ _Just like how I have no use for Annie Cresta, if you know what I mean?" She stared at her interrogator. "Imagine how Odair would react to her public execution."_

_"_ _You wouldn't kill her. She doesn't know anything."_

_"_ _But you do. You and Johanna Mason and Peeta Mellark. You gathered sensitive information for the enemies."_

_"_ _No," Effie denied stubbornly. "They're not enemies."_

_It riled Bean so much he struck her across the face._

_Effie lied and lied and lied. It came easily to her._

_On the third day, Bean had enough._

_"_ _Put her in the white room," he barked._

**_Phase 5: Day 24 to 28 - Sensory Deprivation_ **

_The white room sounded better than the BlackHole, Effie thought. Anything was better than the BlackHole._

_She was changed out of her blood stained prison uniform and given a white dress. A dress! She was giddy with that thought. It felt smooth to the touch. It lifted her spirits up enough that she turned around to thank the person who gave it to her._

_As she was marched down another corridor, Effie touched her dress again. It was only when she passed the pod where Johanna and Annie was held and heard their voices calling out for her that she started to be afraid._

_"_ _Where are you taking me?" her voice shook. "I – I don't want to go to that white room."_

_She was ignored of course._

_They stopped in front of an unmarked door._

_"_ _Your friend, Portia, is dead. Together with the rest of the prep teams. Executed this morning," the guard informed her._

_Effie kept her face impassive but inside she wanted to scream. She couldn't mourn their deaths when she herself was afraid for her own life. Was she selfish?_

_She was pushed inside. The white room was named quite literally so. Everything was white; the walls, the bed, the metal food tray and herself included which explained the dress. She had been so easily fooled._

_The white room was for all intent and purpose, another BlackHole – soundproof with nothing to hear._

_Before they left, the guard pulled her hair back and just like Johanna, it was cut haphazardly. They brought a mirror._

_"_ _Recognised her?" he taunted._

_She didn't._

_That woman, gaunt and with that haunted look in her eyes wasn't her. It couldn't be._

_They were systematically ruining her sense of identity, taking away her sense of self. What would she be left with if she survived?_

_She was alone again and completely cut off from human contact. She tried to listen to footsteps down the corridor or disjointed conversations to make sure that there was still someone around but there was nothing._

_The room was so far removed that it was nearly impossible to believe that there was a war being fought outside. Effie began to forget Peeta's face, Katniss' voice and Haymitch's smell. She began to doubt if she ever was in the pod with Annie and Johanna or if they were only a figment of her imagination. Perhaps she had been kept alone for so long that her mind had conjured up images of friends for her to cope with the situation. She wasn't sure. Nothing was certain. She would believe anything._

_Effie craved for Johanna's and Annie's presence. She even shouted for the guards. A beating would mean seeing someone's face, being in someone's company and Effie was desperate for social contact because the solitude was suffocating. She wondered if she could die from extremely unbearable feeling of loneliness. She just wanted to see another living, breathing human before she died because she was going to die here. And she was going to die alone. There was no doubt about it._

_It did not take long for her to break down completely. They had already worn her down in the BlackHole. The second time was easy._

_Effie lost control over herself. It was validated when they finally came for her, calling out her name and Effie wondered if she should respond._

_'_ _Effie Trinket' sounded familiar but was that her?_

_Bean towered over her, sneering._

_"_ _Johanna Mason was executed an hour ago. Annie Cresta is awaiting her turn. There's no one left for you to protect. All the information you provided to the rebels – I want them now."_

_What else could she do? There was no more fight left. Effie confessed and when she found out that it was a lie and that she had bought, the shame flooded her._

_"_ _All the names of the people involved in this little revolution."_

_She paused, thinking about it._

_"_ _I was not privy to that information," she answered monotonously._

_It wasn't a lie. She did not know the identity of everyone involved._

_"_ _So…," Bean chuckled. "They made use of you; spread your legs for that victor of yours and he has you wrapped around his little fingers, no? Told him everything he wanted to know. Pillow talk," he laughed with his colleague._

_Effie did not answer._

_Haymitch had never touched her but she let them talk to her in that manner because Effie was so desperate for a human voice, to not be alone, that it didn't matter what they were saying anymore._

Haymitch breathed heavily. He had read enough.

There was nothing much left anyway. Day 28 should be nearing the time of the rescue.

He had heard stories of what happened during the extraction and skipped that part to when she arrived in District Thirteen with a gunshot wound to her abdomen. He knew that when Effie came around from her coma, she was interviewed but she was so disorientated that she could not give an accurate account of what had happened, and the file reflected that. The accounts were sketchy at best.

Effie could not tell which side had shot her, if it was on purpose or accidental. She was never meant to be rescued but the Boggs had gone back for her at Annie's and Johanna's insistent, the latter threatening bloody murder before she passed out.

He remembered Johanna being wheeled in to the hospital in District Thirteen. He had heard a woman shouting at the top of her lungs and Haymitch knew that that was a scream of someone in pain and in fear. He had gone to check only to discover that it was Effie, delirious and losing her mind until the nurses sedated her for surgery. He had been in complete shock. Effie was supposed to have gone underground and hide. She wasn't supposed to be captured and tortured.

The rest was history. He had spent nights keeping vigil unbeknownst to her, telling her unconscious form about what they had done to Peeta and that Katniss had asked to be sent to District Two.

Haymitch closed the file and shut the door to the study.

****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. And before anyone thinks I'm psychotic, the white room wasn't something I created out of thin air. It does exist in prisons and I just incorporated it here.


	62. Chapter 62

His mind was screaming at the burning pain starting in his chest; aching and piercing and stabbing. It was the kind of pain born out of the anger that stemmed from being so powerless, unable to do anything when someone he knew had been hurt and he was unable to change the circumstances.

It was the same pain that threatened to tear him apart; one that he harboured in his heart for years since his family and his girl was murdered. He had channeled that anger in bringing the Capitol down. He wanted to hurt someone just to elevate the pain; those men that had put Effie through hell.

But that was not possible at all. There were people he had to think about, people who depended on him. There were too much at stake.

His hands shook. Haymitch wanted to drink until the knowledge of Effie's experience fade from his memory.

_Effie._

He had left her and the boys long enough. He should probably check on them but Haymitch didn't trust himself to be anywhere near them in his rage. There was still some whiskey left so with the bottle in hand, he headed out towards the porch.

The porch was fast becoming a place for him to sit and think, for him to spend a little bit of time away from everything else. He liked it here. It was quiet at night and peaceful, and if he closed his eyes, he could pretend that everything had melted away.

He had wanted to know so badly. Haymitch had told himself that it was for her own good and that he needed to help her but that was just him trying to reduce his dissonance. It didn't work because the guilt seeped through like a treacherous vine, twisting and coiling its way around his neck, choking him.

The only way to help her was to let her know that he knew everything and he would have to explain to her how that knowledge came about. He wasn't looking forward to that conversation.

Was he being selfish thinking of how angry she would be  _with him_  when he should be thinking of the more pressing issue of how to get her to seek help?

Effie had been seeing a doctor in the City – Exton Flaminius, an odd name if he had ever heard one but people in the Capitol had always been different – after the war though he had no idea if the treatment was discontinued by her or by him because the records in the file ended from when the Rebellion was won.

There was never any mentioned of her receiving treatment or going for doctor's consultation since she moved here from the day they got married.

How was he supposed to bring this up without setting her off? Haymitch pressed the heel of his palm into his mouth and bit on it. There was so much that he needed to say to her but he was so exhausted.

He threw the bottle onto the grass and made his way back to the bedroom.

XxX

The bedroom was illuminated by a dim yellow light from Effie's bedside lamp. There was a lump curled at the edge of the bed. He kneeled on the floor on her side and stroked her hair softly.

This small, petite woman had endured so much and stood so strong, so determined to live her life as if her mind had never been broken.  _His wife._

Haymitch had not given her much thought after the Rebellion. He was focused on keeping Katniss alive and getting Peeta back to Twelve. The sporadic assurances from Plutarch that she was well in the Capitol were enough to assuage him that he did not have to worry about her.

He had kept her as an afterthought, the woman who had worked alongside him.

 _Resilient._  That was a word that he would use to describe her now.

Haymitch kissed her cheek, her lips and the tip of her nose before resting his forehead on hers.

"Effie," her name escaped in a soft sigh past his lips.

Her eyes fluttered open, looking up groggily. Effie stiffened and pulled back from him. He let her, but reached out to touch her hand.

"It's me," he whispered, brushing his thumb over her knuckles.

She must have recognised his voice because Effie began to relax. Her brows creased when she took the sight on him in, his face bathed in the dim glow of the lamp light.

"What's wrong?" she clutched on to his hand that was on her cheek. "You're …. Haymitch, what's wrong? Is it the children? Did something happen?"

Haymitch shook his head when she pushed herself up, worry and concern etched on her face.

"The boys are fine."

"Then why – "

He climbed into bed behind her and pressed a kiss on her bare shoulder, feeling the small raised scar tissue. He knew the story behind that particular mark now. Haymitch squeezed his eyes shut, the image of what he had read swam in his mind and he could picture Effie on her knees as they pressed the blade to her shoulder.

Effie shuddered at the feel of his lips on her skin. She twisted around to face him, wiping his tears with the palm of her hands. Haymitch pressed his cheek against her palm.

"Please tell me what's wrong. I've only ever seen you like this when I gave birth to Tristan," she pleaded. Haymitch opened his eyes and she caught the tear that clung on his lashes.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, sweetheart," he whispered.  _For what happened to you? For going behind your back?_  He wasn't sure. He only knew that he was sorry. Haymitch wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer to him. "You're so …"

"You're scaring me, Haymitch."

His eyes flashed and hardened as he told her fiercely, "as long as you're staying here with me, you have nothing to be afraid of, you understand?"

She nodded. Satisfied, he buried his face in her chest, felt her fingers running through his hair rhythmically. He started to feel slightly at ease.

"Why are you sorry?" she asked. "Did you drink more than you should?"

He mumbled a no and said nothing else.

XxX

Effie held him close. Slowly, his breathing evened out and he fell asleep with his head on her stomach and his arms thrown around her.

She had been surprised to see him that way. He had apologized and she couldn't understand why. Effie had smelt the whiskey on his breath but he wasn't drunk and she would know. She had worked with him for years and seen the worse of his drunken behavior.

She wondered if something had happened. The past few days had been a blur to her. She remembered bits and pieces; the paint on Tristan's hand, missing out Ethan's first word but above all, she remembered the nightmares the most.

It felt as if all the progress she had made was for nothing. The fear was as intense as during the first few months after she was released from Thirteen's hospital. The only thing that kept her grounded to reality was in knowing that she wasn't alone. She lived with her two children and Haymitch. She wasn't alone. The Village wasn't the BlackHole but the nightmares were not making her feel safe.

Effie was glad to be holding on to Haymitch that night. She knew she hadn't been there as much for the past few days and that he had been left to deal with everything alone. She wanted to assure him that she would get better, that this was just a phase and she would stand up as she always did but she didn't know if she could get out of this relapse. The uncertainty and self-doubt ate away at her.

If she had managed by some miracle to convince him that they were a family and that family stays together, she had ruined it with her relapse. What kind of man would want a mad, insane woman for a wife?

 _Finnick,_  the voice answered.

But Haymitch wasn't Finnick. Finnick had loved Annie. He had known how she was and had loved her regardless. Haymitch had never loved her. He had made it plain time and time again that he never wanted the marriage and if he ever needed a reason to get out of it when the law ended, this was it. She wouldn't blame him.

What kind of man would want a woman who locked herself for days in the bedroom and left him to look after their two infant children?

Effie choked back a sob. What kind of mother was she to have abandoned her children like that just because she couldn't handle the sight of blood? She was weak.

She tightened her hold on Haymitch. Effie didn't want to lose him. She couldn't go back to her apartment in the City, living on her own again because Haymitch would never let her have custody of the children in the state that she was in.

She needed to get better. And she needed the law to be in effect for a few more months or a couple more years until she knew for certain she would never relapse again. She could fix herself in the meantime.

XxX

"Sweetheart," he brushed back the hair that was matted to her face. Effie was perspiring and her limbs were twitching as she pleaded not to be left alone. "Wake up. It's a nightmare. Come on, open your eyes. You're not alone. I'm here."

It took a while for his voice to weave into her nightmare but when she finally opened her eyes, it darted around the room, taking everything in. She curled against Haymitch's side, breathing his scent and tried to calm the erratic beating of her heart.

"What was it about?" he rubbed her back.

"It's… It's nothing, Haymitch," she smiled weakly.

It was always nothing with her.

"You … should talk to someone about it," he began. Maybe this was a good time to bring the subject up. "It doesn't have to be me," he shrugged. "Someone who could help, someone you trust."

"I trust you," she frowned.

"Professionally, I mean. Like a - "

The audio monitor lighted up and they could hear Ethan's unintelligible blabbering. The boy had woken up and from the noises he was making, he would wake his brother up soon enough.

That was it then, the end of that conversation. Haymitch grumbled under his breath but Effie passed it off as him being put off that he couldn't lie in a little longer. He moved away but Effie instinctively grabbed the front of his shirt, pulling him close.

"I won't be long," he assured.

She unfurled her fist, nodding in embarrassment.

Haymitch returned soon enough carrying Tristan in his arms. Ethan held on to Haymitch pants, his tiger soft toy clutched tight in the other hand as he walked next to his father. Effie sat up, waiting eagerly for them to approach. When Ethan saw his mother, he let go of his father and ran forward on his tiny legs, trying to climb up on to the bed that was too tall for him.

He looked back at Haymitch while pointing to Effie, "ma."

Haymitch raised both eyebrows in surprise and then he smirked, grabbing the boy's bottom to nudge him up.

Effie stared at her son. Slowly, a joyous smile spread across her face. She reached out and pulled Ethan towards her, cuddling and kissing the boy.

"He called out to me," she smiled at him and Haymitch smiled back.

A smile had been absent from her for the past weeks and he realized that he missed her smile. Haymitch leaned back against the headboard and settled Tristan on him. He watched her as she tried to coax the word out of Ethan again.

"Ma," Haymitch said.

Ethan copied him. Effie laughed lightly.

"Have you been teaching him?" she asked.

He shrugged. "The fruits of my labour," he ruffled the boy's hair. He seemed to think about it for a minute and then said, "that could be taken in another way entirely. But yeah, I taught him although he has never said it until today."

"Tristan has not said a word yet, has he? Should we be worried?" she asked.

"Didn't your book said between 11 to 14 months for them to talk?"

"But Ethan's already – "

"Eff, twins or not, they're two different kids. Maybe he just picked things up faster," he nodded at Ethan, "than his brother. Tristan's real quiet since the day he was born."

"Can I have him, Haymitch?" her voice was hesitant.

Effie couldn't remember when or why exactly but she somehow knew that she had snapped at Tristan. The boy had been reduced to tears and Haymitch had come running into the living room. It was hazy but she thought Haymitch had been mad at her and he may not even realize he was doing it but he had not let Effie anywhere near the nursery during those rare moments when she went out of her bedroom to look for her children.

"Yeah," he grunted, moving to shift Tristan but the child's face changed and he buried his face in his father's chest.

Effie's face fell and she retracted her hand.

"He's afraid of me," she observed with a note of sadness.

"That's not it," he shook his head. "You know Tristan. He's very clingy. He hasn't seen you around much and he's gotten attached to me. He just needs some getting used to. Give him some time. Come here," he gestured, opening his arm to her.

She scooted forward, resting her head on Haymitch's shoulder. His hand came up to wrap around her. Ethan sat in the space between them. Effie stroke Tristan's back comfortingly and the boy turned his head to look at her, a thumb stuck in his mouth. Normally, she would have pulled it away but she couldn't bear to deny her son anything else at the moment. She let it be.

"I miss you, baby," she spoke quietly to Tristan. "I did you wrong, didn't I? But I don't remember why."

She frowned as she tried hard to remember. Haymitch kept quiet. There was no use bringing filling the gaps in her memory. It would only serve to upset her.

"I'm sorry. Please don't be afraid of me. I miss you so much, Tristan," she stretched to kiss his cheek.

Effie laid Ethan down until he snuggled against her.

"This feels nice, Haymitch. I feel… I want to stay here in bed with you and the children," she told him. "I won't hurt them."

"I know you won't."

Effie fell asleep with the sun high in the sky. Ethan, who was wide awake, played with her hair and Tristan had felt comfortable enough to curl next to his mother. Haymitch watched over them.

He had often wondered what peace was like. It changed over the course of his life. Peace was a day in the meadow with Myra and that was the last true peace he had known. Then he thought, peace was when the Games were over for the year and he could forget everything with a bottle and peace was when the war was won but he knew they were all a lie, something he told himself to tame the pain and the anger in his heart because there was no peace without contentment.

He was contented, he realized, as he watched over his family. Funny how he had been angry enough to hurt and kill someone yesterday but being with them erased it all from him. Their presence had subtly washed the malicious thought out of his mind.

"Come on, your mother's asleep, let's not disturb her," he said as he carried them both out of the bedroom.

* * *

 


	63. Chapter 63

It was a slow morning in their house even with the twins awake and Haymitch liked it this way. Effie walked into the kitchen, hunched over as her feet shuffled tiredly across the floor. There were deep, dark circles under her eyes. Haymitch took in her lifeless appearance with a frown and gestured for her to take a seat.

Her eyes rested on Ethan who was sitting on the kitchen table in front of his father with his legs apart, an empty plastic plate filled with biscuit crumbs in between the spaces of his legs. His stuffed tiger was propped against the wall. He ignored his mother, occupied with something far more important. Ethan's fingers were covered with honey which he was licking off with an intense look of concentration on his face. If Haymitch was the kind to gush over his children, he would probably say that the boy was adorable.

Tristan, on the other hand, was on Haymitch's lap, trying to reach for the plate of toasts. Haymitch handed a piece to him which he immediately began chewing on. Unlike Ethan, Tristan turned his head to look at his mother when Effie slid into the empty chair.

"Hello," Effie managed to say and brushed the back of her finger on her son's cheek.

"Eat," Haymitch said, pushing the same plate Tristan was after towards her.

He stifled a yawn. The lack of sleep was telling. Effie's frequent nightmares had kept him awake for days now as he held her and whispered in her ears, telling her to come back to them.

"You made these?" she asked.

"Ain't got nobody else here to make those toasts now except for me," he grinned, trying to get a smile on her face.

It was a mistake because for a brief second, Effie was startled by what he had said. Her shoulders dropped. Effie was always the one going on about the importance of breakfast and had made sure that there was always something for him to eat each morning.

"I didn't mean it like that," he grunted apologetically.

Effie took the proffered breakfast without question. To an outsider, it was a normal scene – a family having breakfast – but there were too many things that was out of place that only highlighted Effie's mental state.

For one, Ethan was on the kitchen table, something Effie deemed highly improper. She would never have allowed it. A chair was meant for sitting and that would be what she would have said to Haymitch. Then there was Ethan dipping his fingers into a jar of honey. Effie would have taught the one year old toddler the uses of a spoon.

Instead, she sat quietly, nibbling on her toast. Her eyes were glazed over and Haymitch doubted she was very aware of her surroundings. It was the effects of the sleeping syrup she had taken yesterday. It left her groggy.

"Any plans?" he asked.

"I don't know," she lifted her eyes up briefly to meet his. "I'm tired."

Haymitch sighed.

Effie without any plans for the day sounded odd to his ears and he had heard many odd things coming out of her mouth over the years. On any other day, Haymitch would certainly welcome the monotony but at the moment, Effie felt soulless. He would have agreed to anything she suggested even a walk to the meadow.

"Don't do that, darling," Effie frowned at Ethan.

The boy was done with breakfast evidently since he had started to splatter honey on the walls. Haymitch shifted Tristan over to Effie, scooped Ethan up and washed his hands clean. He opened the door to their backyard.

"Geese," he nudged his son, giving the boy some stale bread. "Go. I'll be right with you."

If Ethan was going to make a mess out of things, he can do it outside the house. Glancing over his shoulder at Effie, Haymitch said, "why don't you read to him? Spend some time with him before you take your nap."

Without a word, she relocated to the sofa in the living room with Tristan. Haymitch ran his hands through his hair in exhaustion. It was becoming tiring pulling all the weight in the house. He never realized just how much he relied on Effie until now.

"You need me to show you again?" he crouched next to Ethan, talking to him quietly.

This was their time alone together - spending the morning feeding the geese like they had been doing for the past month – and he found himself enjoying these quiet moments with his son. Tristan, like Effie, was never interested in the geese. He was better off indoors with his mother.

"Tear the bread off into pieces and then you feed them. Watch."

XxX

The rest of the day crawled at a snail's pace. Haymitch fixed his geese pen with Ethan sitting and rolling around on the grass making a nuisance out of himself, and dirtying the clothes that Felix had bought. Occasionally, Haymitch would look through the window to check on Effie and Tristan. She had read through two books to him and was currently watching a children's show together.

That night, he was woken up to the sound of running water. Every light in the bedroom had been switched on. Haymitch sat up groggily, glancing towards the clock. It was four in the morning and Effie's side of the bed was empty.

 _Not again,_  he thought. His eyes roamed the room, trying to locate her before he moved towards the bathroom.

"Effie?" he called out loud enough to announce his presence so that his sudden appearance would not startle her.

He drew the shower curtains back. Effie was on the floor, her hands wrapped tight around her knees. She was still dressed in her blue night gown, soaking and trembling. The shower was turned on at full blast and the water was freezing cold.

"What in – What are you doing, sweetheart?"

Haymitch turned the shower off and crouched in front of her. With a finger under her chin, Haymitch tilted her head up so she would look at him. Effie blinked in confusion, finally realizing that the water had been cut off and that she was no longer alone.

"I – I think I wanted to take a shower."

"In the middle of the night?"

She glanced down at her hands, turning it over to carefully inspect it. "I needed to get rid of the blood. I thought there was blood…"

Haymitch clenched his jaw and refrained from commenting on the insanity of it all.

"Okay, you're all clean now," he reached out and clasped her hand. "Why didn't you take off your clothes?"

She seemed confused by the question and it became clear to him that she may not even be truly conscious of her actions.

"It doesn't matter. Let's get you dry."

"I didn't mean to wake you up," she spoke softly as Haymitch peeled the wet gown off her.

"I told you to get me if there's anything so that means, you wake me up."

"You're a good man, Haymitch," she stated, her fingers grazed against his cheek gently. "You take such good care of me."

 _I'm trying,_  the thought briefly passed through his head because he truly didn't know what he was doing with Effie.

Effie lifted both her arms up without any further comments and Haymitch took the wet clothes off her, wrapped a towel around her body before leading her out.

"Haymitch?"

"Yeah?"

There was an old shirt of his that he had worn the night before and had thrown carelessly on the armchair before he went to bed. Haymitch picked it up without a thought and put it on her. That would have to do.

"Do you think my sister's body was dry when she was buried? I think she was drained."

Haymitch froze, not expecting the question at all. "That wasn't your sister's blood. They used – "

He caught himself just in time before he gave it all away. That information wasn't something he was supposed to know.

"- I doubt that," he finished.

They lay in bed, her head pillowed on his bare chest, listening to his heartbeat.

"How much blood is in a human body? I should have paid attention in biology class but -"

"Effie…"

"It felt like a lot."

"Effie, stop," he grabbed her wrist and tugged on it to get her attention. She raised her eyes, watching him warily. "This obsession you have with blood, it has to stop."

"I can't just  _stop_  thinking about it, Haymitch," she frowned. "I don't know why it's always in my head."

"I know you can't help it but," his voice softened, "can we just go to sleep for now? We both need it."

They could not go on like this. He wanted to help her but it was beginning to wear him down. She wasn't sleeping properly and neither was he. Every night for the past week, he had woken up to find her in different state of distress. The night before, she had sat huddled in the corner, staring into space for what must have been hours before he woke up and persuaded her back to bed.

Three days ago, he had found her in the children's room in a catatonic state as she lay on the cold hard floor. He cursed loudly when he saw. Haymitch would have tied her to the bed post if it wasn't so barbaric. Still, he slid to the floor, leaned against the wall with her head on his lap and talked to her. Eventually, he fell asleep in that position and when he woke up in the morning, his back was aching. Effie had been apologetic as she framed his face and kissed him, softly and gently.

"I'm sorry."

"Not your fault," he murmured.

He had kissed her back, his hand resting on her neck as he deepened the kiss. He missed her and he seemed to have forgotten that they were still in the nursery until Ethan greeted them good morning with an excited, "Ma!" from his cot.

It was getting a little out of hand and the only thing he was capable of doing was to be there for her during her nightmares. It didn't feel enough. His thoughts went careening back to what he had read from her file – her psychiatrist.

XxX

Having sent the twins over to Katniss's and Peeta's, and knowing that Effie was in the living room, hopefully sleeping, Haymitch spent his morning in the study.

He dialed the clinic's number and waited. Exton Flaminius recognised him once Haymitch introduced himself – "Effie's husband, of course! Who doesn't know Haymitch Abernathy?" – and was quick to ask after Effie's well-being. On the phone, the doctor sounded young but pleasant enough.

"I have not heard from Effie for nearly two years now, since the news of the law came about. That's always a good thing because," he chuckled quietly, "seeing or hearing from patients again, isn't always a positive sign, is it? I do hope she is well. She was in quite a state the last time we spoke."

"Oh? Was she… in trouble?"

"Not at all, not at all," Exton was quick to assure him. "She was doing well for herself by then especially with her job. Effie was merely worried about the implications of the law and how it would affect her future. I understood her concerns of course. It was a daunting task having to sift through those marriage petitions."

"She told you about that?"

"I have always advised her that it was best to talk through what she was feeling and Effie was very confused at that time over the choice she had to make between marrying a former colleague and a stranger. It never occurred to me that the former colleague was you until the news of the wedding came about! But, that was her last phone call to me before she relocated to Twelve."

This was all new to him. He always had the impression that the choice was clear for Effie. After all, he was hardly her favourite person. But even so, Effie had taken a few days before she placed the call to him asking if he had anyone in mind and she must have spoken to her psychiatrist during that time.

"I do hope the reason you're calling is not because of the law. I understand you are trying to repeal it and I'm afraid I will not be of much help to you. While I am in the dark on the nature of relationship you and Effie have, I do believe it is in her best interest to have someone. Effie needs support for what she has gone through."

"It's nothing to do with the law," Haymitch said. "The reason I'm calling is because… She's not doing so well. Effie's been having flashbacks and she's… very fixated with blood. The blood set her off and started this whole mess. She hasn't been leaving the house for fear that she may have a panic attack in public unless someone goes with her."

"Agorophobia, very common with panic attacks," the doctor said. "Any nightmares?"

Haymitch snorted. "Don't even get me started on that. She'll wake up in the middle of the night  _every_ single day thinking she was in prison, screaming and thrashing. She's just… Effie's not lucid on some days. We have children now and they need their mother but she's not there. I can't rely on her anymore."

"Haymitch, you have to be patient with her. Post-traumatic stress disorder can put a huge strain on the family. There's no cure for it except to give her constant support," said Exton. "You said earlier that this was all triggered by blood? It wasn't by any chance triggered by Johanna Mason, was it?"

"How do you know that?"

"I'm Johanna's doctor."

"Oh. She has been having panic attacks over the year, sometimes she'll just sit and stare into nothing for hours when she's overwhelmed or stressed but the incident with Johanna was the worst so far," Haymitch cradled the phone on his shoulder as he paced the room.

He wasn't used to seeking help from anyone but he had to keep reminding himself that this wasn't for him. This was for Effie. Not only that, it also felt as if he was betraying her confidence just by speaking to her psychiatrist about her problems but … he had done far worse damage by reading through her file. He seemed to be doing a lot of things without Effie's knowledge nowadays. "What do you suggest I do? I can bring her to the Capitol to see you."

"That will be good but I won't advise on bringing her to the Capitol especially in her state. You have to understand, Haymitch, that even the slightest inconsequential things to you and I could trigger a reminder and the City is –"

"I understand."

There was a pause on the line.

"I do have colleagues in Twelve's hospital and I'm sure they wouldn't mind letting me work from there. Perhaps Twelve will be more of a suitable location. She may come down to the hospital or I can arrange a visit to your house, whichever is preferable."

Haymitch rubbed his forehead. The doctor's suggestion sounded better. He wouldn't need to convince Effie on why they suddenly they needed to make a trip to the Capitol. He forced himself not to think of the astronomical doctor's fees he would no doubt incur.

"I have no issues with that," Haymitch nodded.

"Excellent. I can schedule it for next week. Will that be amenable to you?"

XxX

Haymitch felt lighter, considerably more at ease after he had fixed that appointment for Effie. He said nothing to her as of yet, waiting for the right moment or more specifically, waiting for the delivery from the Capitol to arrive.

It had been a week since he told Felix to arrange for it.

"Probably tomorrow," Felix said when Haymitch called him that afternoon. "I've checked with them yesterday."

"Hmmm. How's Jo doing?"

"She's alright. We're going to Four maybe next week. She wants to see Finn and then, we thought maybe, we'll visit you in Twelve. I miss Effie."

"We'll see how she fares in a week's time."

It took two more days before the item he ordered arrived on their doorstep. Effie was blissfully unaware of it. Haymitch went looking for her, feeling just slightly excited for her to see it. She was in bed with Tristan nestled to her side and Ethan sitting cross-legged on Haymitch's pillow, both listening to their mother's soothing voice reading them a story from a book.

He paused by the doorway, taking in the scene when Effie lifted her head up to look at him.

"Come on," he carried Ethan off the bed and gestured for Effie to stand. "Let's go outside."

"I like it here," Effie told him quietly, refusing to step out of the house just as he suspected.

"Alright, but humour me for a second, sweetheart, come stand by the window."

Effie sighed as if his request was such a burden to her and she moved to stand by the window next to him.

"See that?" he pointed to the large object on their front lawn, next to the apple tree she was trying to grow.

There was a gasp from her, a reaction and his lips twitched into what could have been a satisfied smile. A reaction from Effie these days were few and far between so this was good. She turned towards him; a disbelieving expression on her face and her eyes glittered with unshed tears.

"Ah, no, come on, let's not do the tears," he frowned.

"But that's a…Did you… Is it ours?"

"It's yours."

"It's a garden swing," she breathed out.

"And it's yours."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you haven't forgotten about the garden swing Effie asked for a couple of chapters back.


	64. Chapter 64

"You remembered," she breathed out.

It had been months since Effie had told him about the swing. He had forgotten about it until recently when he was watching over the boys as they played on their swing set. Haymitch had no idea what motivated him to call Felix asking him to place an order for it but all he knew was that he wanted to put a smile back on Effie's face, to give her a gift.

The garden swing came with a snarky note from Johanna – "Nice touch, Abernathy. Step one to courting a woman: buy a swing set and seduce her under the stars, no? – and when he had read it, Haymitch could picture her snickering to herself as she penned down the note with Felix probably rolling his eyes behind her. The note was currently folded in half in his pocket.

"I had a little help," his eyes trailed over to his children. "Want to test the swing?"

Haymitch laid a hand on the small of her back, prompting her to turn away from the window to face him.

"Come on."

Effie hesitated for a second and as if she really had to make sure, she asked, "you bought it for  _me?_ "

"No need to sound so surprised. You wanted it, didn't you?"

She nodded, framed his face in her hands and tiptoed slightly to peck his lips. "Thank you."

There it was - the smile on her face. A dreamy smile that made her blue eyes sparkled. It was all he wanted and Haymitch released a breath in relief as he led her out towards the porch.

The black rattan swing came with a canopy and white coloured sofa cushions. It wasn't that big but it was enough to fit two people on it. Even so, they managed to make enough space for Ethan to sit in between them while Tristan was content to sit on Effie's lap with his mother's arms around him. She began to rock the swing gently.

"Look what Daddy got for me," she whispered in Tristan's ear. The boy puckered his lips and turned towards Haymitch.

"It's reassuring to know that he recognizes me as his father, even if he can't speak yet," Haymitch muttered.

"Don't be silly, Haymitch. Of course, he does. You let him sleep on your chest night after night."

"Ta!" Ethan exclaimed, pointing across the house. He tried to wriggle down but Haymitch held him fast. Across the house, he saw Peeta walking home from the bakery. The young man stood in front of his front door, waving happily at Ethan before turning towards Haymitch with a two thumbs up while pointing at the swing.

The moment Peeta went inside his house, Haymitch started to snicker.

"You heard him?" he asked Effie. "The boy said Ta. If he had only taken the first syllable of Peeta's name then that would be absolutely hilarious."

"Haymitch!"

"I'm just saying," Haymitch shrugged. "It was a possibility."

Haymitch was in a good mood simply because the day was turning out to be just as good. He was having a conversation with Effie and she was talking more than she ever had in the past few days.

"I really like this swing," Effie spoke quietly, pressing her cheek on his arm. Ethan squirmed and tried to push his mother away in order to make more space for himself.

"Good," Haymitch nodded. "Not cheap."

Tried as she might, it was difficult to hide the smile on her face. Money was never an issue and she knew Haymitch didn't mind it. The children's swing set, their cribs and the furniture in their nursery were not cheap. When she had bought them, Effie had expected Haymitch to throw a fuss but he never did. She thought she knew why.

All those years when he had money to spare, he never had anyone to spend it on except to splurge it on alcohol but it was different now. He had a reason to spend his money on his children and if anyone in this house was in the habit of spoiling people rotten, it would probably be Haymitch although he would go about it in a way that would not tarnish his grumpy, surly reputation; the same way he had brought the swing set for the children and now for her. She just needed to ask. It may not be immediate and he would mumble under his breath about how it would burn a hole in his pocket but he would buy it for them eventually. She knew him well enough by now.

"Sweetheart, during one of those nights, do you remember telling me how you didn't want the boys to grow up with memories of you having panic attacks?"

Effie lifted her head, looking at him curiously. "Yes."

"There's something I want to discuss with you. It's … for your own good. I just need you to hear me out first, okay?"

"Okay," she nodded uncertainly.

"I found your doctor, Exton, and I called –"

"How do you know about him?" she asked sharply.

She had never told him about her doctor just as she had never informed him about her time in the underground prison. Those were the things of the past. When she married Haymitch, Effie was determined to start anew. It had been a good plan at the time but she never thought her past would catch up with her.

"I asked people," he lied cleanly. "There's only so much I can do to help, Effs. You need more than what I can give."

If she was suspicious, Effie was quickly distracted by what he had said about needing help. She bit her lower lip, thinking it through while trying to understand where he was going with the conversation.

"I want to be happy. That's all I ever wanted after the war. I don't – I don't want to …" she took a deep breath. "You said the nightmares won't ever leave."

"It won't. You have to learn to deal with it."

"You chose to drink," she pointed out. "It's not a healthy coping mechanism but that's how you dealt with it."

"To each their own. I drink because it helps me forget," he explained. "But I don't want you going down that path."

He gave her a brief glance out of the corner of his eyes. If he wanted her to trust him, to know that he was there for her and that she wasn't alone then he would have to give her a piece of him in return, tell her something he had never told anyone.

After he had lost everything, Haymitch was alone. He had no one. He had learnt to survive the hard way. He taught himself to keep his head above water by drinking. The logic was simple. If he could suppress the memories, squash the guilt and forget the faces even for just a little while then he wouldn't be dragged underwater by the weight of it. That was how he survived but it was different for Effie.

"I could… I could have been a different man without the alcohol or if I had never picked up that drink years ago. I don't know for sure but I think about it sometimes. Maybe I could have helped a few more tributes or made a few more friends. Maybe I wouldn't be so angry. I don't know," he let out a breath. "Years too late now anyway. I've made myself into who I am today but what I'm trying to say is that I've been there, sweetheart, and I don't want you to repeat my mistakes. If there is a way to help yourself without harming yourself, you should take it. Will you see your doctor? I've arranged for him to come to Twelve so we don't have to go back to the Capitol."

The minutes stretched and Haymitch gave her the space to think. There was no use pushing her to agree.

"I have something to live for. I have you and the children and… I want to get better for them," she choked. "I want to be a good mother."

"You are the absolute best," he whispered as he touched her cheek and rested his head against hers. "And I'm sure they agree with me. If they don't…"

She laughed lightly. "I'll see Exton."

"Good," he kissed her hair. "Why did you stop seeing him in the first place? The distance?"

"I didn't feel like I needed to keep on seeing him," she said tiredly. Effie hooked her arm around his and leaned her head against his shoulder. The children had run off to play, leaving them alone on the swing. "It felt like … there was something wrong with me the more I kept on visiting my doctor. It made me feel weak and I just wanted to lead my life, be normal. I wanted people to see me as a normal person."

"You were worried about what people were saying? You know that's stupid, Effie."

"People pass judgment all the time," she frowned, her tone was angry and bitter. "It was difficult. I was on my own, trying to stand on my own two feet and get my life sorted out again. I needed a job but I couldn't get one."

"Why?"

"Because people thought I was crazy. The moment I stopped seeing Exton, surprise, surprise, I managed to get an employment. Nobody wanted me before that. Apparently, it's not feasible to have an employee who would have to keep taking time off from work to see her psychiatrist. I might… I might even lose my job at the factory now."

"People are idiots. If they can't see that you're good at what you do then it's their loss. But I want you to get better and it doesn't matter if you can't go back to the factory. You're Effie Trin – "

"Abernathy," she finished him off.

"Yes, that. You can have any other job."

XxX

The scene in the kitchen the next morning was of utter chaos. Peeta, Katniss and their daughter had come over to have breakfast together. It was Peeta's idea, thinking that it might be good for Effie.

As it was, Peeta was at the stove making pancakes when Ethan had somehow through some unexplainable means managed to reach up and pull the bowl off the counter. It toppled over him. The batter splattered on his head with a blob, spreading pancake mix into his eyes and mouth. The boy started squealing and laughing.

"Ethan Abernathy!" Haymitch thundered.

It only got worse from there because he tried to run away from Haymitch but couldn't see clearly with the batter covering one of his eyes. He stepped onto his brother who was lying on the floor with his bottle. Tristan yelped and started crying which prompted Prim to waddle over and pat the boy's hair. Taking a leaf out of the little girl's book, Ethan did the same except his hands were covered with sticky batter and it was now all over Tristan and Prim.

Katniss hurried over. "See, now we have to get all of you changed!"

"I'm not sure to laugh or be angry because, they're all very cute, aren't they?" Peeta grinned, waving his spatula at the three children.

"Probably the only reason I haven't throttled Ethan yet," Haymitch muttered. "I'll clean the mess."

Without a word, Peeta started rummaging the cupboard for paper towels which he handed over to Haymitch.

"Peeta! Your pancake is burning!" Katniss screeched from where she was at the kitchen door. "You're going to bring the whole – Oh, morning, Effie. We were just … Are you okay?"

At the mention of Effie's name, Haymitch looked up from where he was kneeling on the floor, cleaning up his son's mess. Effie stood at the kitchen door, ignoring everything as she stared at him. She made no move to step into the kitchen and it wasn't because of the spilled batter on the floor either which Haymitch was starting to believe she had completely missed. It alerted him that something was wrong.

"Effie?"

Her eyes glittered with rage and hurt but she refused to let the tears fall. She was shaking. Haymitch pushed himself off with a grunt and stood up. He took a step towards her but she moved back, forcing him to stop where he was in case she fled.

"Everything okay?" he asked uncertainly. Lately, with Effie, it sometimes felt as if he was walking on a tight rope which could snap at any moment.

The moment he asked that question, in one swift motion, Effie moved her hand from behind her and brought up the one thing Haymitch had never wanted to see in her possession; her file from the Capitol.

"You lied to me."

 


	65. Chapter 65

The tension in the room was palpable and the quiet that followed was deafening.

"You know what this is, don't you?" she asked. "You recognised it."

"I – Maybe we should go," Katniss mumbled. "I'll take the children back. They can stay the night until you both have …"

Katniss cleared her throat uncomfortably but Haymitch barely even heard her. His attention was fixed on the file in Effie's hand.

"Thank you," Effie said quietly, nodding gratefully at Katniss.

Peeta took an uncertain step away from the stove towards Katniss. His eyes darted between Haymitch and Effie worriedly, and then at the file.

"Come on then, we're going out!" Katniss announced suddenly, gesturing towards the door.

Ethan shot to his feet and was first out of the door without even a backward glance to his parents. He bounced excitedly on his feet, his shirt still soaked with the pancake batter. His brother was less enthusiastic and more hesitant about being separated. He inched closer to Haymitch with a bottle in his hand while the other shot out to clutch on to his father's pants.

Haymitch lifted the boy up and looked him in the eyes.

"You go with Uncle Peeta, okay? Your mother and I are going to have a talk," he explained hoping that somehow the boy would understand despite his age. Tristan blinked at him with his big grey eyes and something tugged at Haymitch's heart. "I'll get you and your brother soon," he promised, pressing a kiss on the boy's head before handing him over to Peeta.

Once the door closed and their footsteps faded away, Haymitch took a deep breath and faced Effie. Her arms were folded protectively across her chest as she stood rigid with her back against the wall. The file was on the kitchen counter.

"Sweetheart - "

"I trusted you," she whispered, cutting him off. "I trusted you to keep me safe and I don't feel safe when…," she gestured helplessly at the file.

"Effie, please," he took a step forward. "There's a reason I have the file."

"To dig what's already buried in the past."

Haymitch shook his head. "To help you," he said. "But I can't do that if I don't know what happened to you."

"You could have asked me."

"And look how far that got me. Nowhere 'cause you won't talk."

"That still doesn't give you the right to –"

"You're right, I don't," Haymitch hung his head. "I know you're angry but just let me -"

"I'm not angry."

Her voice was calm, tinged with disappointment but there was no anger there, just as she said. Haymitch exhaled loudly and rubbed his hand over his face. The rage in her eyes had quelled but it was shining with betrayal. This was inherently worse than if she had been angry.

Effie was hurting but she was holding her ground, and  _that_  was a good sign, he thought. It meant she was fighting, however small, when she could have just given up.

"What were you doing in the study?" he asked, careful to keep the tone of accusation from his voice.

"Am I not allowed in there anymore?"

"That's not what I meant," he sighed. "I don't want to fight, sweetheart."

Effie bit her lower lip, nibbling on it thoughtfully. Haymitch took another step towards her, standing right in front of her. Gently, Haymitch released her lip from her teeth, stopping her from abusing it any further and brushed his thumb gently over it.

"I wanted to replace Tristan's book," she answered. "I wanted to get a new book for him and I saw it on the study table. It was just there. You didn't even bother to hide it; amateur mistake for someone who wanted to keep things from his wife."

He must have left it out after he called her doctor because he recalled keeping it in the drawer after he was done reading it the first time.

"I – I can picture you in that study in the middle of the night, reading about what they've done to me and I see it now when I look at you. And you know what hurt most, Haymitch?" she asked. "Knowing that all these time, you've looked at me in the eye and pretended that nothing had changed, pretended as if you have not just deceived me. I don't know how you do it without feeling guilty. You're a liar," she spat.

His hand that was pressed against her cheek dropped heavily to his side and Haymitch reeled back. Years ago, Katniss had said the same to him, thrown the words in his face, screaming about how he had betrayed her and Peeta.

Was that how he loved? By lying and deceiving those he cared about even though all he had meant to do was to protect them as best as he could? Hadn't his mother done the same - told him that she had eaten when she hadn't for days because she didn't want him to worry?

Something coiled in his stomach. She had trusted him, believed in him and she alone had loved him. Effie had always seen the good in him and had told him on more than one occasion that he was a good man even when he can't see it for himself.

She would finally realize how wrong she was all these while.

"I'm not a good man, am I?" he smiled grimly.

Effie let the question slide, refusing to dignify it with an answer. As she inched towards the door, she kept her back against the wall. Her body language said it all. Effie didn't trust him anymore. She didn't trust him not to stab her in the back once she turned around with her back exposed to him.

He gave a bitter snort and clenched his jaw as he watched her walk away.

XxX

Haymitch grew increasingly worried as he paced the living room. It troubled him greatly if this would send Effie over the edge again. He didn't think he could take days of her locked in their bedroom, cutting herself off from him and the children like she once had.

After what just happened, Haymitch wanted to give her room to breathe without crowding her but if it meant retreating into herself than that was not something he was willing to do. He trudged up the stairs into their room to find her on the bed, staring at the photo of the twins when they turned 6 months old. The memory of the day the photo was taken resurfaced in his mind.

The bed dipped as Haymitch climbed in next to her. She turned to her sides and studiously ignored him.

"Shout at me," he laid his head on the pillow. "Let it out. Tell me how much I've wronged you."

Her voice was muffled when she said, "you already know you're wrong if you're telling me that. What's the point in shouting and screaming? I'm tired and I don't want to do that. It won't change the fact that you felt entitled to that information so you went ahead and took the file."

"I – It wasn't about entitlement, Effs," he turned sideways and rested his hand on her hip. "I was desperate."

"So you think  _your_  desperation gave you the right to it?"

"That's not true. It's not like that at all," Haymitch growled low in his throat. The conversation was going in circles. He couldn't make her understand him and she didn't think he understood her position at all. In the end, Haymitch gave in and compromised.

"I should have been patient with you," he murmured. "I should have asked you about it but … Effie, you were lost to me and I wanted you back."

She stiffened suddenly.

"We needed you to come back to us and I took the easiest and the fastest way which isn't necessarily right. I know that now."

His hand on her waist travelled up to her arm and gave her a tentative squeeze. When he heard her sob, Haymitch pressed a kiss on her shoulder.

"And yet," she heaved a breath, "I still don't hear an apology."

Tugging on her shoulder gently, Haymitch turned her around. Her honey blonde hair spread like a halo on the red pillow as she looked up at him with her blue eyes that were brimming with tears. He framed her face, his thumbs brushing away the fallen tears.

"I know what I did was wrong," he spoke quietly. "But I couldn't just watch while you slipped away from us. I'm not that helpless sixteen year old boy anymore. There was something I could do and I wasn't going to -"

Haymitch stopped abruptly when her hands came up to grip his wrists.

"What you did, it hurts me."

"I know, sweetheart. I'm sorry."

Effie squeezed her eyes shut, flushing the tears out as she heaved, trying to get herself under control.

"Easy," he murmured, patting her hair absent-mindedly. "Breathe in through the nose, out through the mouth."

It took her a few minutes but when she opened her eyes, she was much calmer.

"I understand… why you did it," she nodded. "It is by no means okay. I – I feel betrayed and lied to but I understand."

She drew a shaky breath.

"I know you've been trying - you've asked me again and again about what I went through - and you're right on one thing. It got you nowhere. I'm sorry, too, Haymitch, for putting you in that position. If I had talk, you wouldn't have had to –"

"Just – "Haymitch shook his head, "Just stop right there, Effs."

"I can't promise… I don't even know if I would ever have the courage to tell you what happened to me if you had asked again. It still scares me just to think about it. I didn't want to go back."

Haymitch listened to her, nodding his head at the end of it. They had never talked things through. Since the day they worked together, each time they had a disagreement, it always ended in an argument filled with insults. There was never a discussion or an attempt to understand each other's motive and to come to any form of conciliation.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," he said again.

"You can kiss me, you know," she informed her quietly. "It's another form of an apology.

Haymitch snickered, resting his forehead on hers in relief. "I would have kissed you earlier if I wasn't so sure you would kick me where it hurts."

Her mouth opened into a soft laugh and Haymitch captured her lips. The grip she had on his wrists tightened instinctively as she returned his kisses. Her eyelashes brushed against his cheek, painting it wet with the tears that still clung to it.

"I wasn't expecting this," he admitted breathlessly as he pulled back. Haymitch rested his weight on his elbows as he gazed down fondly at her. "I expected to be slapped. You like that don't you, slapping me? I thought you would have shouted and screamed. I wanted you to put up a mean fight, to show me that you still have that fire in you."

"Don't you worry," she patted his chest. "I still have that fire, and me shouting at you would have put us on a familiar ground, wouldn't it. You can deal with that. You've dealt with that for years. But this is new, isn't it? You can't take the guilt as it was just now."

Haymitch frowned and dropped his gaze.

"I don't like how well you seem to know me."

"You need to learn that people can react in something else other than anger," she said, stroking his cheek.

"Is that it? You were teaching me a lesson?" he murmured, pressing a kiss on the corner of her mouth.

"Not intentionally but if it kills two birds with one stone…" she grinned slightly. "And that's part of what marriage is all about. You teach and learn, and grow together," she said, turning her head away slightly just so he would have to chase her mouth.

XxX

"Ah no, don't put that in your mouth, tiger," Haymitch swatted Ethan's hand away as he crossed the yard towards the swing where Effie sat watching her children.

They sat quietly next to each other with Effie's head against his shoulder.

"Did you read everything?" she asked suddenly.

"Effie..."

"The truth, Haymitch, just this once."

"Yes."

"Those pictures..." her brows crinkled. "When I saw it, I remember everything. It came back to me so vividly. I can feel the blood on my skin and the coldness of the room. I remember being blind for days. I remember how white it all was. But it's so... When I saw those pictures, it's funny how detached I feel. I find it difficult to believe that that woman was me."

Haymitch reached out for her hand and laced their fingers together.

"You've done a good thing with your life," he told her, gathering her close so he could rest his chin on her head. "You came out of that ordeal scarred and broken but you had never let it define you."

All Effie had to say to that was to snuggle closer to him. "Are you hiding anything else from me?" she asked after a stretch of silence.

"No," Haymitch shook his head. "You said yesterday that you trusted me to keep you safe. That was what I was trying to do, sweetheart, to keep you and our family safe. Believe me, that's all there was."

"That's the problem now, isn't it, Haymitch? I don't know if I can trust you," she said, looking up at him. He sighed. "I'm always going to second guess if there's something you're not telling me."

"We can…" he trailed off before trying again. "We can promise not to hide things from each other again."

She smiled faintly.

"But you broke the trust and even if we fixed it, it's never going to be the same," she explained. "And if we're on the topic of being honest, let me be plain with you. If you ever lied to me or betray me like that again, I will leave, Haymitch. I will take the children and I will leave."

A muscle in his jaw ticked. He didn't doubt Effie's threat. Something bubbled inside him but he forced it down. He couldn't fault Effie for that.

With his eyes fixed on the dirt road leading up to Victor's Village, Haymitch gave a curt nod and extricated himself from her.

"That must be your therapist," he jerked his head towards the lanky figure that had just rounded the corner.

XxX

Haymitch retreated back into the house, bringing the children with him.

Seeing as how Effie was already outside when he arrived, Exton suggested that they talk at their front porch. Haymitch had an inkling of what he was trying achieve since he had been the on to inform Exton how Effie had cooped herself up in the house all these while.

With the children taking their afternoon nap, there was nothing much for Haymitch to do. He found himself standing by their bedroom window, watching Effie and her therapist. She was speaking quietly, her head bowed in front of her as she fidgeted with the bracelet around her wrist.

Exton must have noticed her preoccupation with it because at one point, he tapped her bracelet curiously and Effie smiled. Her eyes strayed up towards their bedroom window and pointed at him, informing her therapist that he had gifted it to her.

That startled him and he tried to step back, away from the window but it was useless because they were both looking up at him.

"Stop spying on me," she spoke up, smiling at him in amusement.

He rolled his eyes. "Just checking," he shouted back. "Wasn't spying. It's not as if I can hear what you're discussing from up here."

Exton watched their interaction with a marked interest.

"Go away," Effie waved her hands at him, "do something else."

"You giving me permission to get drunk, sweetheart?" he teased.

"Don't you dare!"

He laughed loudly as he shut the window and drew the curtains close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the way things go they probably would have had a huge fight but I didn't want that. I wanted Effie to react in a way that he did not expect, for Haymitch to question how he treat people who are close to him and to show them working through their conflict/problem even if it's something as huge as Haymitch doing something behind her back. They are different people now then they were in Chapter 1 and the Hayffie in then would have had a huge argument.
> 
> Anyway, please do leave a review. I'd be really happy to hear your thoughts!


	66. Chapter 66

The therapy sessions were going well for Effie. Three times a week for an hour, Exton would pay Effie a visit at their home. During the first three weeks, their therapy was mostly conducted at Effie's swing, as Haymitch had come to call it, where Effie was most relaxed. She spent the time talking out her feelings with Exton and it was usually after those taxing one hour that Effie would be quieter and more reserved, preferring to curl on their bed to recuperate. Haymitch would leave her alone because when she was ready and had gotten herself under control, she would emerge from their bedroom to spend time with the twins.

Haymitch wasn't oblivious to the changes in Effie. While he never knew the extent of Effie's discussion with her therapist and he certainly did not want to pry unless Effie herself talked to him about it at night before they went to sleep, he could affirm the positive changes in her. Her nightmares were still present but they were less frequent. Two nights ago, Haymitch actually managed a decent few hours of sleep without being woken up by her screaming. Waking up next to her warm body pressed against his instead of finding her in a catatonic state at some random part of the house was a nice welcoming change, too.

There was only one occasion when he woke up to find her standing by the vanity across the bed, tense and apprehensive. It was not due to her nightmares. It was his. He was thrashing in his sleep, dreaming about the boys being reaped and sent to the arena, a nightmare that was becoming more frequent when he realised that the twins would turn two years old in six months' time.  _In about nine years,_  he mumbled. Effie was the one who brushed his hair back after she climbed back to bed, telling him quietly that there were no more Games.

The twins' age also marked a new milestone in their lives – they had long passed the second year mark of their marriage without neither him nor Effie noticing it. It passed by quietly with no grand affair or Effie attempting to surprise him with dinner like she had done during their first year anniversary simply because she was too occupied with her therapy and Haymitch could not quite be trusted to remember dates.

On the fourth week, a day before one of her scheduled session, Effie came looking for him in the kitchen. She smiled meekly at him, feeling slightly embarrassed for the favour she was about to ask.

"Why are you looking at me like that? Everything okay?" he eyed her over his shoulder.

Tristan tugged on Haymitch's wrist, pointing to the bowl of food impatiently. Unlike Ethan who wanted to try  _everything_ , including feeding himself, Tristan was a different matter altogether. He wanted to be fed, each and every time. For that very reason, Effie had taken to calling him her little prince, a moniker Haymitch discouraged so vehemently.

Instead of answering him, Effie took the bowl from him and sat down with Tristan to feed the child which led to them digressing from the topic as they engaged in the same round of argument again.

"You need to stop that," he gestured at her feeding her son. "He's going to grow up thinking he is some kind of royalty. Stop pampering him."

He took the spoon from Effie, curled Tristan's finger around it and guided him as he scooped some mashed potato and nudged it towards the boy's mouth.

"Me?" Effie squeaked, taking the spoon back from her son when Tristan completely missed his mouth and splattered the mashed potato on his cheek. "He's only a baby, Haymitch, of course he needs to be fed. You know the book says their self-help skills are  _only_  developing. He can't feed himself."

Haymitch's only answer was to give a pointed look at Ethan. The boy, despite the mess he was making by shoving a handful of food into his mouth, was doing fine on his own. His cheeks were stained with brown sauce which dribbled onto his shirt but all things considered, Haymitch thought Ethan was doing a good job learning to be independent, a quality that, he felt should be instilled from a young age since from his experience, the world outside wasn't that very kind or very fair.

"You can't expect them both to be the same. Wasn't that what you said yourself? Ethan's that way and Tristan's just the way he is," she smiled. "Isn't that right, my darling prince?"

Haymitch rolled his eyes and changed the subject before their argument could drag on.

"You wanted something earlier?"

"Oh, yes!" her eyes lighted up in remembrance. "Tomorrow's my session with Exton and I was just… Well, he suggested that perhaps I should go down to the hospital for a change."

"Ah," he nodded having immediately understood Exton's reasoning behind it. "You should. It'll be good. You haven't been out of the house for months."

"I know I haven't. I should… I'm really considering it," she wrung her hands together. "I want to get better for the children and hiding here won't achieve anything. I was just wondering if …"

"I have to pick up something from town anyway," he said nonchalantly.

That was, of course, a lie. There was nothing he needed from Town but he knew what Effie wanted to ask from him in any case.

Effie gave him a grateful smile and returned to her task of feeding Tristan and cleaning up after Ethan.

When morning came, they bundled the twins into their stroller and set out. As they neared the main town centre, Effie's eyes darted wildly around, taking everything in and looking at each person far longer than necessary. She jumped each time someone bumped into them and walked close to Haymitch.

"They're just doing their shopping. Nobody's going to hurt you," he patted her hand that was gripping tight the handle of the stroller. "Breathe in and calm down."

Effie bit her lip, nodding with a certain determination. "I'm being irrational," she announced, clearly displeased with herself. "I should stop thinking this way."

"Irrational, yeah," he nodded, "but don't be too hard on yourself. Only the first day out after all."

At the entrance of the hospital, Effie's fingers curled around his wrist, stopping him.

"I'll be fine here. It'll only be an hour," she said. "Why don't you take the children somewhere… They will get bored waiting for me in there."

Haymitch shrugged, telling her that he would be back for her. He pushed the stroller past the hospital, not quite sure where he was heading. He walked aimlessly watching the boys peered out of their strollers to look around. It wasn't long before Haymitch ended up at the playground.

At the sight of it, Ethan began to fidget, wanting to be let down so he could explore the new place. The moment he was free, Haymitch's hand shot out to grip the back off his shirt, effectively stopping him from running off on his own. He struggled with the belt buckle around Tristan and when it came undone, the toddler climbed off slowly, standing next to his father as he took in his surroundings.

"Want to have a go?" he asked Tristan. Haymitch lifted his son up and settled him at the very top of the green slide. "Just like the one we have at home, yeah?"

When Haymitch nudged the boy forward, letting him slid down to the bottom, a smile broke out of Tristan's face. Soon enough, the boys established some form of game with Ethan climbing the slide from the bottom at the same time that Tristan would push himself down causing them both to collide halfway through. They would cackle happily each time this happen and they would repeat the game. It was something so incredibly stupid and ridiculous yet it didn't seem to make them bored.

After some time, Haymitch approached them, lifting them both up. "Try something else," he said.

Haymitch arranged Tristan so that he was flat on his stomach with his hands outstretched in front of him and slowly guided the boy down the bumpy slide. Tristan squealed in obvious delight and Haymitch smiled at that.

"Your turn," he signalled to Ethan and patted the slide.

Having seen how it was done, Ethan replicated the position with some help from Haymitch and nudged his way down.

"Da!" he squeaked, calling out for him.

Haymitch caught the child at the bottom of the slide and soon they began to take turns going down just the way he had taught them. Even so, he kept a watchful eye on them and was always at the bottom of the slide to catch them just in case.

After half an hour, the boys lost interest in what they were doing and had taken to running all over the playground trying on different things.

The place was empty that Monday morning. It was quiet and with only his two sons occupying the entire place, Haymitch was not so worried about them being pushed and mauled over by children older and bigger than them. Still, he followed them closely behind, watching them both like a hawk.

It wasn't long before he caught them booth looking at the monkey bar curiously, too high for them to reach since it was meant for older children. With a sigh, Haymitch carried them both in his arms, supporting them as they dangled from one of the metal poles.

"One hand in front of the other," Haymitch grunted an instruction, already out of breath from having to shoulder all of their weight. He walked them about five times back and forth before his arms started to ache and burn. "Alright, that's enough. You both weigh like a tonne of bricks," he grumbled, letting them down.

At some point, as he sat watching them play in the sandbox, it occurred to him that  _he_ , Haymitch Abernathy, was spending his Monday morning at a playground. Three years ago, he wouldn't be able to tell the time of the day nor would he be out of the house at this hour, most likely, passed out drunk somewhere. It was surreal how fast his life could turn around and how much it had changed him from the man he was. This was never meant to be his life. Someone else's probably, someone who had deserved it but certainly not him. He wondered what his twenty-five year old self would have said if he could see him now. Would it have made him a little less angry, a little less bitter? Would it have given him some semblance of hope if he had known that he would be content watching his own two children play in a sandbox because for once, he was watching children playing not to survive but because it was in their nature to engage in play.

By the time they arrived back at the hospital, Haymitch was quiet and in a contemplative mood. Effie was sitting on the bench outside with Exton, clearly waiting for them. Her eyes widened in alarm at the dishevelled state her children were in with their clothes wrinkled and soaked with perspiration.

"Where did you all go? Have they been running around?" her brows furrowed.

"Playground," he answered simply.

"Playground? Well, that's new. Did they like it?"

"Trust me when we get home, they're going to knock out from exhaustion," he smirked. "That's how much they enjoyed themselves."

"Why must you always insist on tiring them out? They must be so thirsty," she fretted, letting them drink from their bottle and wiping their forehead with her handkerchief, the very image of an overbearing mother, he mused. "There's sand on their clothes!"

"You know that there's a sandbox at the playground? They rolled around in it, obviously. Can't be prevented."

"Haymitch!" she gasped. "You are unbelievable. You could have taken them away! Felix is going to be so devastated. He bought these clothes."

Exton, who had been standing quietly watching the scene unfold, stooped down to be on the same eye-level as the boys. He greeted them. Tristan smiled shyly at him while Ethan gave him a toothy grin. By now, Exton was already a familiar face and the boys knew him enough.

"I have something to talk about with your father. Hopefully, I'll see you again soon!" he ruffled Tristan's hair.

"Something wrong?" Haymitch asked as they walked away from Effie and the boys.

"On the contrary actually. Effie's doing well. She told me her nightmares were getting less vivid," he explained. "I think Effie's odd were in her favour in that she's lucky to have you with her. I would imagine that her situation would be dire had it been anyone else who couldn't really understand the horrors she went through. I don't mean any offence by this but your experience with the Games, having survived something so brutal yourself gave you an insight to her and it made you more understanding, more accommodating to her struggles especially with the nightmares and her grappling to rebuild her own life."

Haymitch shrugged, uncomfortable with the compliment.

"Being involved in the Games and the Rebellion made you both stand on the same platform, so to speak. For anyone else, anyone who never had to go through the things you both had gone through, understanding Effie's situation would be difficult just as it would be difficult for anyone else to understand yours."

Haymitch frowned, not quite pleased to hear anything about  _his_  struggles or situation from this therapist.

"Everyone has their struggles, of course, but the two of you are a good match for each other. Because of the shared experience and history I mentioned earlier. I have seen and counselled people affected by the laws and some of their stories are not pretty."

"I'm sure when Plutarch suggested it, he didn't have that in mind – whether we are a good match or not. He was more concern of Snow's sympathisers exacting revenge on Effie which again, I'm sure, was not because of his concern for her well-being but of what Effie could have told them otherwise."

"Be that as it may, Effie is far from recovered. Healing is an on-going process. There is little doubt that it would help her tremendously if she knows that you are there for her. To have someone's support is very important to the healing process but on the other side of the coin, it won't do if you were to drop everything to cater to her or treat her like fine china," Exton went on, pausing to take a breath. "It will feel condescending to her and that will not help her heal in the right manner. We do not want her to grow too dependent. The best advice I can give is for you to do things as you might normally do them. If you go to town every weekend to stock up on the grocery, do that. Don't break the routine. The normalcy helps to instil some form of control for her."

"Yeah," Haymitch nodded. "I got it."

There were many things that could cross his mind but for some reason, the law became his focal point. He had cast that aside since Effie's relapsed but the law was perfect in a way that it was his focal point as much as hers. It was the basis of their marriage and ultimately, it became something in common that they worked on together. It was normal to find them poring over paperwork in the middle of the night, searching for loopholes upon loopholes to overturn it.

Haymitch could work on it without letting her know but after the incident with the file, that would have been folly. He would speak to her about it; find her something to pour her energy into. It would be good to get her to focus on something and perhaps, it was time for them to work on the law again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone's confused or curious about the timeline, Effie would have been married for three years (and the law would have been in effect for the same length more or less) when the twins turn two. I worked out the timeline again quite recently to make sure it will all fit when I end Consortium. So, I actually enjoyed writing this chapter especially the playground scene even if I was apprehensive about it initially. I hope you like it as well and please do review :) thanks for reading!


	67. Chapter 67

 

Twice Haymitch tried to bring the marriage law up – once during dinner and another while she was curled next to him on the sofa with Ethan – and twice he changed his mind. He didn't want to fight and argue, and he wasn't sure it would not lead up to that. Being delicate was not his forte and no matter how much he ran through all the scenarios in his head, he didn't quite know how to broach the topic without Effie thinking the worst. He certainly didn't need her to think that he wanted to get rid of her or abandon her while in the state that she was in, and he certainly didn't want her to think that the law was more important than her on going treatment.

Perhaps it was his luck or perhaps it was Effie being thoughtful, which still came as a surprise because he knew just how selfish Effie could be sometimes, but she was the one who brought the subject up. She wandered into the kitchen one night where Haymitch was discreetly trying to take a drink. At the sound of her approaching footsteps, he slammed the cupboard door shut, gulped the remaining dregs of whisky from his glass and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand before he turned around to face her, deftly hiding the glass behind his back.

"I can smell it, you know?" she shook her head in amusement.

"Hmmm," he hummed and threw her a grin. "The boys are asleep so I thought I might have a drink."

"There's something you should see," she said, beckoning him over.

Effie spread the morning's paper at the counter in front of him, pointing to a small, easily overlooked section on the fifth page.

It was convenient how all the unsavoury news was sequestered at little corners of the papers while the news that in the government's opinion, people  _should_  read about were front and centre in the first few pages.

Any unwanted news could have easily be left out of the papers but the administration was smart. . To do so would make it seem like they were hiding information so it was published but in a manner that would easily be missed.

As it were, the first two pages of that morning's paper contained reports of excited couples welcoming in their new baby and interviews with those who exalted the benefits of the baby bonus scheme which led Haymitch to wonder just how much they were paid for that interview. There was even an advertisement which took half the space on page three for the new talk show with a marriage expert. Haymitch wrinkled his nose in disgust because clearly, based on its placement, the advertisement was far more important than the article Effie was about to highlight to him.

"This woman," she pointed to the blurry photograph of a woman taken as she was cuffed by the authorities, "stabbed her husband on his shoulder. Twice. He's in hospital receiving treatment  _and_  he's pressing charges against his own wife."

"Yeah, I saw the headline. Didn't manage to read through the entire post before Tristan woke up this morning."

"Apparently, she's been enduring verbal abuse from her husband since they were married about a year ago."

"It's reported?"

"No. I did some digging around. I know someone who happened to know the lawyer representing her. I think that's going to be her defense."

"Digging around?" Haymitch crossed his arms, studying her carefully. Effie's and Plutarch's contacts in the City had been helpful thus far but Effie had not done any "digging around" since she relapsed as far as he knew. Was she working without telling him?

"What are you going to do, Haymitch?" she asked, gnawing on her bottom lip.

"I'm not a lawyer, sweetheart."

"You know what I'm talking about," Effie exhaled. "You have not been working on the appeal for a few months now since I…. Well, I'm doing okay. You can see it for yourself anyway. I'm getting better and I don't want you to put that on hold for too long on my account. Maybe it's time you return to it."

He blinked and unfolded his arms, moving to stand in front of her. "Exton put you up to this?"

"Ex… No, he didn't. Why did you ask?"

"Nothing," he shook his head. "Listen, the appeal is not completely abandoned. Plutarch's working on it on his end but it's just going really slowly. I want to be completely sure that you –"

"I'm fine. I know you worry about me," she quirked a smile and took his hand, "but don't be. I don't like waking up each morning to see reports of abuse or suicide in the papers."

"Then don't read them."

"I know ignorance is bliss but it doesn't always work, does it? I want to help in whichever way I can even if I know I won't be of much help like I used to before the twins were born. Work on the appeal, Haymitch. It's important, you know that. As much as I am afraid of what will happen to our family without the law to hold us all together, you and I both know that the law cannot continue any longer. Look at all the spousal abuse, at the abandoned babies, at people like Jo who nearly got herself killed trying to be sterilised. I still keep the article with her interview on it and I know it was an effective deterrent measure especially coming from Johanna but how long will that last, Haymitch? People will forget her words and her warnings in a year. I will help where I can."

Haymitch nodded as he brushed his thumb against her inner wrist.

"You can help when the children aren't keeping you busy. It'll be good to… focus on something," he murmured. "Sometimes I wonder if anyone's truly happy with how their life turned out after the law came into effect. Except for Elias and his wife," he added as an afterthought, "because they're profiting off each other. They don't count."

Effie laughed lightly.

"Emily," she said. "You remember her?"

"Twelve's former librarian? That girl?"

"I saw her just yesterday at the hospital. She was visiting her mother here in Twelve. The poor woman was taken ill. Emily came with her husband, a quite mousy young man, and they were with their little girl. Only two months old. She was adorable. I was thinking…. maybe we can try for a girl."

Haymitch's reaction was exactly as Effie thought it would be. His eyes widened as a look of horror and fear passed his face. The chin that he propped on the palm of his hand slipped. Haymitch straightened up immediately, moving towards the cabinet where he kept his drinks while giving Effie an incredulous look.

"What?" he choked out.

"It would be lovely for the boys to have a younger sister! I can picture them as the big brothers."

He swallowed thickly. "I can't… You're not… Two kids, Effs. The law only asks for -"

"Oh, I'm only joking, darling," she patted his shoulder with a smile at the joke Haymitch didn't even find remotely hilarious. "The boys are enough to keep us on our toes, I know that."

"Good," he sagged in relief. "Good."

"It makes me happy to know that Emily found some form of happiness," Effie added wistfully. "She seems to be enjoying District Five from what I gathered. Regardless, do think about what I said, Haymitch. You should work on the appeal again. You gave people hope of having it repealed, you can't take it away."

Haymitch made a noise at the back of his throat.

It was Katniss' job to give people hope, not his.

 


	68. Chapter 68

After six weeks, Exton returned to the Capitol. Effie continued her treatment through long distance phone calls twice every week. Each morning, Haymitch hovered next to her watching her consume the prescribed medicines and on some nights, he held her close when she cried to him about being dependant on her pills again. He would whisper in her ear, telling her she was getting better, that she was doing this for the boys and it would calm her down slightly.

Effie was getting better. She was functional again. She could get out of bed, spend time with the children. It almost felt like everything was back to normal.

With Effie's encouragement, Haymitch began to work on the law. She would help him where she could, just as they had before. At night, Effie would sometimes sit with him in the study and they would work quietly.

Just as her therapist had advised, in order to give Effie back that sense of familiarity and control, they stuck to their usual routine. They went grocery shopping every Sunday morning and instead of them taking turn like they had done when they boys were younger, Effie and Haymitch now took their sons with them. It was her suggestion, of course. Effie took the opportunity to convert the trip into a learning journey.

"This is an apple," she smiled, lifting the fruit up to the twins that particular sunny morning.

Ethan stared at his mother, lost interest and hurried after Haymitch who was walking slightly ahead.

"Ethan, come here! Don't… Oh, never mind, then. Here, Tristan, that's my little prince. An apple! A-P-P-L-E!

It was slow progress but Tristan had started to talk, forming words to get his parent's attention. As Effie repeated the word, Tristan echoed the last syllable after his mother.

"That's very good! You're such a smart boy," Effie gushed, beaming at him as she pinched his cheek. "He's the smartest, isn't he, Haymitch?"

Haymitch paused at how familiar that sentence sounded. He had heard it often albeit in a different voice, in a time long gone.

_Oh, he's the smartest, isn't he?_

That was something his mother used to say about him.  _The smartest, the bravest, the strongest._ She was always praising him.

Haymitch grunted a reply, turning his attention back to getting everything that was on Effie's list. For the umpteenth time, he checked the crumpled list again with one hand holding tight to Ethan's small palm as they walked down the farmer's market.

"What else do we need?"

"Cheese," he muttered.

Effie navigated them down the correct way and soon enough Haymitch had struck off cheese from the list.

"Do you remember Klaus Adler?" she said out of the blue, rearranging vegetables in her basket. "I think we have everything, Haymitch. We can head home now. Anyway, Klaus… I came to know that he now -"

Haymitch's eyes were already on her the moment the name passed her lips. His brows crinkled into a displeased frown.

"Came to know? I've made it clear to him that if he has anything, he runs it by Plutarch," he growled.

"I'm sure he has been doing just that," Effie assured him.

Haymitch glanced at her but before he could say anything, Ethan was already tugging on his hand towards the playground, having seen it as they passed by the place.

"Not today, tiger. Another time," he told the boy.

His reaction was instantaneous. Ethan dropped to the dirty ground and laid spread eagle on it, sulking. Effie gave an incensed gasp.

"Get up at once young man!" she said. "You're dirtying your clothes. Haymitch, pick him up!"

"If you're going to have a temper tantrum, I'm going to leave you right here. Someone will send you home. I'm not going to deal with this," Haymitch stood over him, ignoring the angry wailing.

"Come on, sweetheart." He took her by the elbow and walked a few steps away. Tristan pointed at his brother urgently. "You'll see," Haymitch said. "Your brother won't stay there."

The crying trickled out before it eventually stopped.

"We shouldn't leave him there," Effie hissed.

"Walk slowly. Don't turn around to look at him. He'll follow us."

True enough, they were less than five steps away when Ethan caught up. He pointed to the playground again when Haymitch lifted him off the ground.

"Dada!"

"I already said no. Now we go home to feed the geese," Haymitch told him. At the promise of feeding the geese, the playground was all but forgotten. Ethan fell in line next to his brother, holding on to Tristan's hand as they walked home.

Effie gave Haymitch a smile. "You handled it well."

XxX

It wasn't until they were home, the groceries kept away and the boys had taken their afternoon nap that Effie brought Adler up again. She poured Haymitch a small measure of bourbon as she did so.

"This conversation requires a drink?" he lifted an eyebrow.

Effie smiled. "It's not that bad. I don't think it is but if it helps you relax, all the better."

With a shrug, Haymitch flopped down on the sofa, sipping his drink.

"I spoke to Elias recently," Effie said, watching Haymitch's reaction warily. After she had found out the truth from Adler, Effie seldom initiated any conversation with her cousin. She would talk to him when he called if only to keep up the pretences.

"What does he want?" Haymitch scowled.

"That's the interesting thing," she sat on the sofa next to him, legs folded underneath her and turned to face Haymitch. "He called to tell me that Klaus has a daughter."

The glass he had brought up to his lips paused in mid-air. Haymitch tilted his head to the side, thinking that he must have misheard it. "Come again?" he asked. "Isn't that man –"

"Yes, exactly, he couldn't. Which begs the question – where did the girl come from?"

His eyes narrowed. "And I'm guessing you know the answer to that question."

Effie nodded, scooting closer to Haymitch.

"Elias told me, of course. But, Haymitch, I think this is all a vindictive move on his part."

That got his attention. He placed the glass down on the coffee table, giving Effie his full attention.

"I think he knows that we know," Effie worried her bottom lip. "That you won't take his deal or that Klaus is voluntarily helping Plutarch with the law."

"What makes you say that?"

"Because he told me that Klaus  _bought_ that child from a couple in the district. They're selling children and babies, Haymitch. I have heard rumours about it from one of my contacts before but it was not something that could be established until Klaus. Think about it, though, it's an easy solution for those who never wanted children, sell the child off but still get the baby bonus from the government. I mean, Klaus could have adopted from an orphanage but there are strict -"

"Effie," Haymitch said slowly. "Those are serious allegations."

"I'm not the one making them!"

Haymitch stood up but Effie was quicker, moving in front of him to block his way.

"Where are you going?"

"To call Plutarch, see if he can investigate further. If this is true, it's just another way that the law is failing. We can use it."

"You can't do that! This is exactly why Elias called to let me know, because I think he expects you to make full use of the information. Klaus will be captured and the biological parents of that child will have to face heavy consequences."

By now, Haymitch looked mildly annoyed.

"If it wasn't your cousin, I would still have found out about it sooner or later," he said, side-stepping her.

"No," she placed a hand on his chest. "Haymitch, think about it! Maybe it's better for the child. Maybe Klaus could care for her; give her the life she couldn't have with her biological parents."

Haymitch paced the room, thinking to himself. Effie watched him.

"We don't have to give out names .You said so yourself; one of your contacts heard rumours which means, Adler isn't the only person to have done this. We can't lose him, anyway. He is a source. This is something, Effie. One more thing to stack up against the Council."

The slight frown on her face told him that Effie wasn't particularly thrilled by it but she nodded her head, knowing that Haymitch was right.

XxX

Throughout their phone conversation the next day, Haymitch harboured the impression that Plutarch was highly distracted. Once everything that needed to be discussed was covered including the fact that he was back working on the law and the issue on Adler, Plutarch blurted out the news that he had been trying hard to contain until the timing was appropriate.

"Fulvia's pregnant!" he exclaimed excitedly. "Isn't that marvellous?"

"That's – "

"We've only found out two days ago and a good thing, too, because officials have been coming around the past few months asking questions. We decided there's no point putting it off. We've been married for a while now, as long as you and Effie! There was no point abstaining anymore because abstinence  _is_  the only option now that all forms of contraceptive are illegal so Fulvia and I started – "

Haymitch shuddered, blinking the intrusive image away and cut Plutarch off. "I think that's … that's more than enough information."

"Oh, right you are, of course," Plutarch laughed.

"Congratulations, I supposed," Haymitch murmured.

"Yes, thank you. It's all very exciting!"

"Hmmm," Haymitch scratched the back of his neck, wondering if it would be rude to just hang up on his friend. He couldn't quite share Plutarch's sentiment because when Effie broke the news, being excited was the last thing on his mind. He had been furious.

Plutarch, as usual, was oblivious to how uncomfortable the conversation was quickly turning out to be for Haymitch because he prattled on.

"Only about 6 months or so till I become a father myself. You probably don't share my sentiment," he laughed to himself. Haymitch resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "You were never excited for Effie's pregnancy as I recall."

Haymitch scowled.  _There was no need to bring_ that _up,_  he thought. He glanced over at Effie and the boys in the sitting room.

"I am truly looking forward to meeting this child. A little odd though - the concept of being responsible for someone but I always like a good challenge. Can't be any more difficult than being a Gamemaker or leading a Rebellion, am I right?"

"Oh, if you only knew," Haymitch snorted. "When you have to wake up at four in the morning because the bugger is crying at the top of his lungs wanting to be fed, it'll make you wish you only had the Rebellion to worry about."

Effie heard that bit of conversation and turned to glare at him.

"Take your regrets somewhere else," she hissed.

Haymitch grinned at her causing her to shake her head.

"I hope none of the children inherit your sense of humour," she said. "It's appalling and sometimes, not at all humourous, if I were to be completely honest."

Haymitch gave Ethan a pointed a look because evidently, the boy's idea of humour was to break crumbs of biscuits on to his brother's hair. She followed his line of sight and when she saw it, Effie threw her hand up in frustration at the mess.

"If it's a girl, I was thinking, we could marry our children; my girl to one of your boys. We'll officially be a family."

"Can't tell if that is a joke," Haymitch narrowed his eyes. "Back to what we were discussing, you gonna talk to Adler about his newly acquired daughter?"

"Don't be so crass. There is no need to phrase it that way. I will meet up with him and try to find out more. And before you remind me again, yes, I do remember to let him know that it'll only be between us. It's just information we need."

"Good," Haymitch said. "No need to alarm that man. We still need him."

"And what about Effie's cousin? I think you should be careful. He's already threatening Klaus, coming out with that kind of information. We don't know what he'll do next."

"I don't think there's anything he can do now that he's lost his hold on Adler. The deal he's been trying to get me into is off, clearly. But he'd probably try to get something out from Effie. He set that meeting up between her and Adler after all."

"Yes, yes. Just be careful is all. You never know what he is capable of."

"Yeah. I'll get Felix to keep an eye -

"No, stop it, Tristan," Effie screeched.

Haymitch broke off, craning his neck to get a view of the sitting room so he could see what the commotion was about.

"I got to go. Call me if there's any development," he hung up.

As it turned out, in a fit of rage, Tristan had grabbed a hold of Ethan's bottle and flung it to the other side of the room, milk spilling from it. Tristan may be a quiet child with the patience of a saint but as he grew up, his parents began to realise that during those rare moments when his anger was stoked, Tristan's temper could rival Haymitch's. It had only ever happened twice before when Ethan had sat on him and when Prim had been too rough with him while they were playing. In both cases, Haymitch thought he had thrown a tantrum merely to stand up for himself, a concept that Tristan probably didn't understand yet but protecting oneself was innate after all.

"What the hell happened?"

"Ethan was pulling on his hair and he didn't like it," Effie answered.

 _Always watch out for the quiet ones they say,_ Haymitch thought.

"Knock it off," Haymitch said sternly. "Both of you."

"Don't shout at my babies, Haymitch," Effie said with consternation.

"I'm not even – Stop pampering them, sweetheart. Go to your mother," he turned towards Ethan. "That'll teach you not to bully your brother so much."

Tristan was red in the face; his lips forming an angry pout. He pointed at his brother and then up to his head. Haymitch ruffled his hair.

"Come on, it's just a little pull. The pain won't last," Haymitch spoke to him quietly as he lifted the boy off the ground. "What's the matter, peanut? You don't usually get angry even when your brother took your toys. A bit too much for you this time?"

"The both of you need to apologise to each other. That was very rude of you, Ethan. You shouldn't do that. Don't take after your father."

"Excuse me?" Haymitch glared.

"And you, Tristan. That was not acceptable. In this house, we don't throw things around when it doesn't go our way."

"I remember you throwing things at me when it didn't go  _your_  way," Haymitch muttered under his breath.

"Haymitch, please," Effie pursed her lips. "I'm trying to instil some form of discipline and you're undermining me."

He grunted something unintelligible which was a good thing because Effie would not have permitted such language, especially not in the presence of the twins.

"Well, let's all just apologise like civilise people do and we'll put this behind us," she said cheerily. Effie tugged Ethan forward. "Brothers shouldn't be fighting each other."

She gestured at Haymitch. He knelt with one knee on the floor holding Tristan in his arms so that Ethan could kiss Tristan on his cheek at Effie's behest.

"See, isn't that better? Now we're all happy again."

Haymitch rolled his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The boys are growing so they're throwing temper tantrum and annoying each other.


	69. Chapter 69

The smell of slightly burnt toast permeated through the kitchen, infused with the rich aroma of coffee. Effie leaned against the counter with her hands cupped around the mug and her face partially obscured by the steam from the hot beverage.

"It's true then?"

Haymitch nodded. He held up the photograph that came in the mail this morning with a note from Plutarch –  _Fulvia and I will be there in two days –_  for Effie to see. It was a picture of Adler holding on to a little girl with dark hair and hazel eyes. She could not have been older than the twins.

"He confirmed it after Plutarch gave his word that the information will be kept between us."

"She's a beautiful child," Effie said, her eyes were transfixed on the photograph.

Her boys meant everything to her but as far back as she could remember, Effie always dreamt of having a girl of her own; a little girl she could dress up, doll up and braid her hair for. Effie meant what she said when she told Haymitch nearly two years ago that it didn't matter if she was carrying a boy or a girl but she couldn't help the tingling sense of desire to have a baby girl. Haymitch would never agree to another child, and they didn't need another complication when the law was still such a big issue in their life.

"What's her name?"

"I didn't think it was an important fact to remember. Does it matter?"

Her eyes flickered up to his and she smiled. Trust him not to remember details like that. "Wouldn't the government find out about this? Klaus could get in trouble and the girl…"

"Difficult to prove," Haymitch answered, reaching out to take the mug from her hand. He drank from it which prompted Effie to pour another cup for herself. He was always taking her drink simply because he couldn't be bothered to walk the short distance to get his own coffee. "There are no paper works, no trails to implicate any parties. Adler didn't adopt this child. He bought her which meant that the child's birth certificate still reflects her biological parents as her parents. It's a black market trade, Effs, the same with all the contraceptives. Money under the table, no paper trail."

"That will only make it more difficult for you and Plutarch to prove to the Council. You have no evidence to show that any of this is going on."

Haymitch shrugged.

"Someone just need to tip it off to the Council. They'll send their team of investigators to snoop around. Maybe they'll hear something, a rumour or a whisper of someone buying a child but they won't have the documents to make any arrest, not in Adler's case at least," Haymitch said. He was sure there will be others who would insist on a fresh new birth certificate which could be dangerous. "That's how they know about the illegal abortions and the sterilization. It just has to be brought to their attention."

"Maybe we shouldn't," she crossed her arms. "It's not our place, anyway."

They had this conversation a week ago and Haymitch really disliked repeating himself.

"You're only thinking 'bout Adler, Effs. I know all he wanted is to have a child and his own family but you need to think bigger, think outside of him. You need to consider that there could be something more sinister – a child syndicate ring going on, maybe? Anythin' can happen to those children. They could be amputated and made to beg for scraps on the streets."

Effie's eyes darted to the twins playing in their play pen at the sitting room. She tried to imagine selling them away. She imagined of them being taken away from her and made to play on people's pity for money, and the thought made her blanched.

"How did you even come up with something like that? How did it even cross your mind?" she lowered her voice. "Isn't… The Family and Social Services pays visits to families, don't they? To ensure everything is proper and that the children are well taken care off?

That made him scoff in derision.

"Yeah and how many times have they visited us to check on the boys ever since you gave birth? Never. They only ever came that one time because they received a report that you may have a difficult pregnancy. They came to take you away to that facility. They came to childless couples like Jo and Gale, and Plutarch and Fulvia to harass them. They have no way of knowing that Adler's child is no longer staying with her biological parents. Children can be sold and mistreated, and thrown in a syndicate without them ever knowing until it's too late. The law is flawed, sweetheart, and the policies in place are showing more cracks that solutions."

Effie dropped heavily on the stool across from Haymitch, breathing slowly through her nose and out through her mouth. He patted her hand, his finger playing with her wedding ring absent-mindedly.

"Exton told me to find silver linings," she said slowly. "And I – Elias won't bother us anymore, would he? Felix told me Elias is furious."

"Wouldn't be surprised," Haymitch snorted. "We managed to keep Adler's voluntary help with the law from him long enough so now that he finally realized he lost Adler, I don't expect him to be anything but furious. He lost the opportunity to control Adler's company and you're worthless to him now."

Effie winced.

"I'm just saying that he can't use you to trade with Adler anymore. That's all."

"I know," Effie whispered. "I remembered what Klaus said about not wanting it to be another forced marriage. You think Elias found out about that, too?"

"'Course he did. He isn't stupid. He's got it all figured out once he knew Adler volunteered to help with the law. He can't give you to Adler in return for the company and the deal he's been trying to get me into won't work no more. He can't force me, he can't make me give you up," Haymitch grinned.

Effie froze, staring at her hand as she mulled it over.

"What's the matter?" Haymitch asked.

At the end of the day, if he decided to let her go, it wasn't because he had his back against the wall. It wasn't because he didn't have any other choice. He would have a choice and he chose to let her go. Effie wasn't sure that was any better.

She clutched her chest and cleared her throat.

"Elias is plotting his revenge against Klaus, I know it. Telling me about his daughter was just one of those. I imagined he wants Klaus to be imprisoned for that. He has a share in Klaus' company, Haymitch, and he could have a hostile take-over from there."

Haymitch shrugged, standing languidly as he collected their mugs to place them in the sink. "That's not our problem," he told her. "What goes on between those two stays between them. I don't care about any of their companies or their shares. Other than keeping you and the boys safe, my only concern is to try to keep Adler out of prison. His information is all that I need. It's invaluable."

"That's probably Elias' plan, too. With Klaus in jail, he won't be of any use to you. Maybe he's trying to hurt you that way," Effie nibbled on her lower lip. "It doesn't matter to him anymore if the law is repealed or not. He won't gain anything from it. He's just…"

"Sadistic?" Haymitch gave her a wry smile.

"My stomach coils each time I think about what he was willing to do with me. I'm not just a pawn, Haymitch. I'm …"

"Yeah," he nodded and lifted up his hand. She stepped into his arms, letting him embraced her. "You're not a pawn, Effie. You never were, not to me. You're a mother and a wife, remember that."

She played with the button on his shirt with her ear pressed against his chest as he held her close and she wanted more days like this.

"Your cousin's still out there and even if this may seem like it's over, you promise me you'll be careful. I don't trust him and something tells me that there's another shoe that'll drop at any moment. Things always go wrong."

"Maybe this time it won't. Not everything goes wrong all the time."

XxX

Effie would tell him later that night that she, together with Peeta prepared dinner for their guests but he knew from experience that it was mostly Peeta doing the heavy lifting while she probably helped to stir and add ingredients as she was instructed. Both Katniss and himself had been banished to the living room for babysitting duties before Effie called for her to set the table.

"There he is! Our future son-in-law!" Plutarch exclaimed loudly the moment arrived. He walked over towards Tristan and picked the child up. "What do you think, dear? This is …. Well, I'm not very sure how to tell the boys apart!"

Fulvia nodded enthusiastically, pinching the boy's cheek until Tristan gave a kick, which sent Effie into a fit as she tried to apologise for Tristan's behavior.

"He doesn't like to be smothered," Haymitch smirked in Plutarch's direction.

"If our baby's a boy, we'll marry him to Katniss' daughter!" Fulvia said, turning her attention to Prim.

"How is an arranged marriage like that any different than a marriage law?" Katniss muttered loud enough for Haymitch to hear.

"If the kids aren't up to it, they don't have to have babies," Haymitch replied sarcastically under his breath. He could have sworn Katniss turned green at the thought of her daughter having babies.

"Will you be finding out the gender or keeping it a secret?" Effie asked once they were all seated at the dinner table.

After she was told of Fulvia's pregnancy, Effie had invited both husband and wife to Twelve for dinner to which Haymitch had no objections since he could very well use that opportunity to discuss some matters of the appeal with Plutarch.

"Oh, we want to know," said Fulvia as Plutarch nodded in agreement. "It will be easier for us to think of names."

When everyone including Effie echoed that sentiment, agreeing with Fulvia's reasoning, Haymitch shot his wife an incredulous look. That wasn't what she had said when she insisted on not knowing the twins' gender.

"I never thought pregnancy was for me, never thought I'll be pregnant," Fulvia smiled wistfully. She rested her hand on the bump which was barely visible under her dress. "I wanted children. I've always wanted one but I never thought I'll carry the baby myself! It's funny how things turned out."

Peeta paused, placed his fork carefully on the plate and asked, "what do you mean?"

"I would have gone for a surrogate," she answered only to be left slightly flustered at the faces of confusion looking back at her. Katniss, Haymitch and Peeta waited for an explanation. "Well… Well, in the Capitol, before the Rebellion, we don't… There is an option for a surrogate. That was how I planned to have a child… How most women planned to have a child … for someone to carry the baby to term. Surely, this is not a foreign concept?" she laughed nervously.

Haymitch blinked slowly as he mind processed the words. The glass of wine was halfway to his lips. He chanced a glance at Effie but she didn't seem fazed by that and he wondered if things had been different, would she have gone for that option?

He shook his head imperceptibly. If things had been different, he would be drinking himself to a stupor alone in his house. He wouldn't be married to Effie and he wouldn't be a father.

"Why would you do that? Get someone to do the job for you?" Haymitch frowned.

"Medical complications, Haymitch," Effie rested her hand on his thigh. "Some women can't carry the child themselves so they pay someone else to … assist them. A few years before the 74th Games, there was a rise for … for surrogate mothers. It was an easy way to have a biological child without having to go through all the trouble, the weight gain, the 9 months of pregnancy and not…not everyone wanted to go through the pain of childbirth."

"It was a lucrative business," Plutarch chimed in.

Effie grimaced at Plutarch's words. She had been trying to ease Haymitch into it but Plutarch had no tact, as usual.

"Business?" Haymitch spat.

"It makes perfect sense," Plutarch nodded as he scooped more mashed potatoes on his plate. "Why go through it all when you can pay someone to do it? Hassle free!"

Katniss fixed him with a stricken stare. "The bond between the mother and child during pregnancy, that's not something…" she trailed off, looking at Peeta.

"You are right, of course! Even now, we are trying to bond with the baby. I've been talking to my child each night. Did you do that too?" he looked at Haymitch and Peeta, and without waiting for them to reply, he went on. "No need to look so scandalized. Nothing to worry about, it's all in the past. Surrogacy is a dwindling trade now since the law came about."

"During the Rebellion, President Coin saw the merits of it," Fulvia mentioned it casually.

Haymitch's head snapped in her direction. "What?"

"I think she might consider assigning some women to be surrogates in Thirteen after the epidemic. They were looking for ways to boost their own population. I wasn't supposed to know this but I overhead. Soldier could be so careless sometimes!"

"Whatever the case may be, President Coin did prepare me for one thing," Plutarch chuckled. "I learned to go through the days without coffee in Thirteen which was good practice for my situation right now. Fulvia has developed a dislike for the taste and smell of coffee."

Haymitch rolled his eyes. He had to sit through Plutarch complaining on and on about Thirteen's lack of coffee for days on end.

"How is the appeal coming along?" Peeta queried.

His question was quickly followed by Ethan's plastic bowl clattering to the floor.

"Don't think the kid approve of you talking about the appeal at the table," Haymitch grunted.

"My apologies, I didn't know the topic was out of bounds during dinner. I was just asking because…" he looked over at Katniss who nodded at him. "We've been getting things in our mail about how the law aimed for couples to have two children."

"You're not affected by the law," Effie said. "You were married well before the law came into effect."

"Nothing to worry about," Plutarch said. "These brochures tend to make its round from what I heard. As you are aware, the government has always encouraged its citizens to have at least two children. Those not married under the law, like Katniss and Peeta, were not mandated to have children, and if they do, they're not required to meet the minimum number unlike us. That's the only difference."

Haymitch kept quiet. He knew all those already.

"I'm not ready," Katniss blurted out. "Prim is still so young."

"We were going to wait a few years," Peeta added.

"So wait," Haymitch shrugged. "What's the problem? You don't' have to - "

"Except there is a problem," Peeta clenched his jaw, looking mildly incensed. His hand twitched, prompting Katniss to curl her fingers on his hand to calm him. That didn't escape Haymitch's notice. "They think Katniss still owes them something. We don't owe people anything anymore!"

The wine glass he was clutching on shattered in his palm.

"Peeta, calm down," Effie said quickly, moving her chair closer to where the twins were seated to protect them if need be.

"I'm not going to let them make use of Katniss anymore. She's no longer the mockingjay. It's over. It's over!"

"Peeta," Haymitch tried to keep a level tone to his voice. He could do this with his eyes closed. He had done it countless times and he knew the tell-tale signs of Peeta's episode just as he knew Effie's. "Nobody is asking Katniss to be anything."

"He's right, Peeta," Katniss said. "President Paylor didn't ask me to be anything."

"She said people look up to you still. She said you should lead by example."

"Yes," Katniss nodded. "Yes, she did but nothing about the mockingjay."

"The President wants you to have another child now?" Plutarch asked, filling the missing pieces.

"Yes," Katniss affirmed. "I won't do it. I'm not ready."

"See, boy," Haymitch spoke to Peeta. "She won't do it. She knows what she wants, this one. Katniss doesn't have to do anything anymore. She's done enough. You've done enough. You live your life now with Katniss and your little girl."

"Make her  _listen,_ " Peeta breathed deeply, clenching and unclenching his fist to calm himself. "You said so yourself – she's a reasonable person. Make her listen to her people. If only there is a way for everyone to vote on this law, maybe she will listen. Our opinion matter now, doesn't it? Isn't that what we fought for?"

"A referendum," Fulvia gasped, her eyes lighting up at the idea. "I have read about this before from an old book that was banned by the Capitol. Most democratic countries have referendum on national issues - bring the question to the people. We can bring that back," she turned in her seat towards Plutarch, eager and excited by the idea.

Even Plutarch seemed enthralled by the prospect, a smile already forming on his lips. He raised an eyebrow at Haymitch.

"See, Peeta," Effie nodded. "Anything old can be made new again. Plutarch and Haymitch will find a way to work this vote into place, I am sure of it. Please, dear, do not worry too much."

 


	70. Chapter 70

The referendum gave them a spark of hope, something to work on other than the appeals. It was Effie who suggested that the appeal and the referendum should move forward concurrently. Plutarch and Haymitch wasted no time in getting the idea of a people's vote to the Council.

It was not surprising that half of the members of the Council rejected the proposal for a referendum outright, calling it an unnecessary political move meant to encourage discourse in a country that was still trying to integrate its people. The countless appeal was the work of only two men. It was easy to reject the arguments and opinions of two individuals who opposed the law especially since most of the debates were done in the Council's chambers, behind closed doors with the public having no knowledge of the finer details of their discussions. The voting, on the other hand, was the collective decision of the people. That was enough to rattle the Council and enough to make Haymitch lose his temper.

"This Council is a failure," Haymitch slammed his hand on the table, shouting. "This isn't what democracy is about!"

"We'll take it as a good sign that they're resisting," Plutarch smiled good-naturedly at him as they sat on a park bench after he had to drag Haymitch out of the building. "They can't let the people vote on the law. A yes or no option is enough to either make the law stand or for it to fall. The Council knows it, too. They're afraid. We just have to keep pushing however long it takes. Appeals after appeals, and motions to have a national referendum. We don't stop."

It could have been Johanna – Haymitch didn't know – but someone leaked the news of a referendum in District Seven and soon, that was all anyone could talk about. The idea caught up, spreading like wildfire across the nation.

Protests broke out in several districts with people marching across their districts, chanting and demanding for a chance to vote. There were no injuries or casualties but Haymitch knew it was only a matter of time. The Rebellion had given the people some measure of bravery to stand up for themselves.

Peeta suggested a campaign to push their idea of a referendum forward and with everything that was happening, Haymitch seized the protests to turn it into something they could all use, to direct people's energy to somewhere beneficial.

Plutarch and Fulvia started to organize campaigns – a call for a peaceful demonstration – which began in the City and spread across every district in a timely fashion over a period of several long months.

Fulvia, Felix and Adler started it at the City during the one winter afternoon and that campaign was attended by President Paylor herself as a guest of honor. She watched the speeches quietly and listened as people came up to her talking to her about the law.

Gale with the help of Delly Cartwright and Enaboria – an odd combination of trio in Haymitch's opinion – held a campaign at the square of the Community Centre in District Two before they travelled up to District One for the same. Beetee and Plutarch held another in District Three. He then teamed up with Johanna in District Seven and Six two weeks later.

In District Eleven and Twelve, Haymitch and Peeta was assigned to lead the campaign. Haymitch made sure that the cameras were nowhere near the twins or Prim when they left their houses, carefully shielding them from overzealous reporters over the two weeks event. He was running on adrenaline and was not sleeping properly which worried Effie to no end. He couldn't be seen in public with bags under his eyes but Effie knew he was anxious and restless.

"I'm tired, sweetheart," he admitted as he laid his head on her chest, listening to the steady beating of her heart. "If the appeal is rejected again and the referendum doesn't work, then I don't what else to do."

"You can't say that. You can't think like that," she said, trying to give him some encouragement.

"I know what it's like to dread turning a certain age and I don't want that for the boys," he mumbled. "I don't want them scared on their eighteen birthday; worrying 'bout who they would have to marry… about having to have their own babies when they're nineteen."

"Haymitch, you have done remarkably well so far. I know you will do your best tomorrow. Do not let anything dampen you. This is your dream and I believe in you," Effie whispered, dropping a kiss to the top of his head. "It will work. It has to. "

Haymitch nodded, kissing the top of her breast and closed his eyes, forcing himself to get some sleep.

When morning came, Haymitch walked with Peeta up the podium in front of Twelve's Community Centre where they were met with a deafening applause. His eyes searched the crowd for Effie and his children. He saw her sitting next to Greasy Sae, smiling encouragingly at him.

The event was being broadcasted live across Panem just like all the other campaigns so far. Peeta took the floor first. Just like how it was during the Games, he put the crowd at ease, joking and exchanging banter before he stood back, allowing Haymitch to delve into the matter of the referendum.

"Letting everyone vote is a peaceful option. We had enough fighting. We don't want any more violence," he said to which the crowd cheered. Haymitch began to relax. It was no different than convincing sponsors and Council members, except on a larger scale. "This is now a democratic country. We voted our district representatives. We voted for our president and she's a good president, isn't she?" Haymitch smiled and the crowd laughed. "Let us vote on whether we want this law to continue or not. This has gone on long enough – nearly 4 years now – you should be heard and this referendum will allow you to."

Three weeks later, in District Four, Katniss visited Annie. That campaign gained such notorious media attention, drawing visitors from other districts. Haymitch watched from the television in his sitting room as the crowd continued to swell in size. Four was different because the campaign was led by Andrea Fitz herself, the representative from District Four who sat in the Council. She was among those that were in favour of the referendum.

The situation in Four became more chaotic when Annie stunned the press and even Katniss herself with a shot of her emerging from her house carrying a malnourished six month old baby girl. Haymitch and the rest of the nation began to piece the story of the baby together from Annie's disjointed explanation which was later aided by Katniss' helpful narrative after the girl got the full story out of Annie.

Haymitch spent five minutes shouting at Johanna over the phone for having known what was happening with Annie but keeping it from him. It took a lot of coaxing and talking from Effie to eventually calm him down.

"Your cousin knew," Haymitch spat. "Jo told him but she couldn't pick up the damn phone to let us know."

"Is that baby hers?" Effie asked. "That child looks sick, Haymitch."

"No, not hers. Some couple in Four. Father's a morphling user. The girl was left on her own with an inept young mother. Finn found them while he was playing by the beach, mother and child. Annie took the baby in but the mother fled now that it's become a national sensation. Search is underway for the mother. Father's been apprehended."

"How long did Annie have the baby with her?"

"About a month," Haymitch dropped on the sofa, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Katniss is bringing them back to Twelve; Annie, Finn and Arianne. Annie will be hounded by reporters if she's left alone. Since reporters are banned from entering Victor's Village here in Twelve since the Rebellion, they'll be safe here."

"Arianne…" Effie repeated, and then she smiled. "That's a… beautiful name. I can't wait to meet them."

Haymitch scowled. He didn't need another baby anywhere near their houses now that Tristan, Ethan and Prim had grown up and had stopped waking the entire village in the middle of the night with their wailing.

XxX

Before Katniss could bring the three of them back to Twelve, Plutarch had spun the story surrounding Arianne as the driving force for the campaign in Four, to stress the need for a referendum. The girl's face was everywhere. Haymitch backed him up.

Katniss had not liked it at all and neither did Effie with the latter refusing to talk to Haymitch for a week. Annie settled into one of the spare houses in the Village. Over time, Haymitch was left alone in his house because Ethan and Tristan insisted on playing with the baby, which meant Effie spent half of her time with Annie.

He worked on the appeal while the campaign went on in the remaining districts. The issues were debated long and hard over the course of that year. It was no longer about the law but the merits of holding a national referendum. Within that year, the Council rejected his appeal twice.

"The entire nation is gripped by the chance to exercise their rights. You deny them this, Madame President and they will lose faith in the system," Haymitch said as he appeared before the Council after the appeal was rejected. "Let's settle this issue once and for all. Call for a referendum. Forcing people to get married, to have children and start a family so soon after the war will not help them."

"It's placing unrestrained burden on them. These people need to heal. They need to mourn the loss of their loved ones during the war. They need to rebuild their lives, gain some stability before they can move on. You each have families of your own or people you've lost. You understand this, yeah?" Haymitch paused, watching their faces.

" _You're_  not allowing them any of this," Haymitch continued. He could have said 'the law' but he wanted to hold the Council accountable. "You want them to skip the mourning and the healing to throw them straight into living their lives as if the war didn't just happen. Some people don't cope that way. With time, Madame President, you will see these people slowly regaining their will to live. You'll see them coming back from the horrors of the Games and the war. They need to find stability in this new world and then trust me - people will fall in love, get married and have children. That's what people do. They continue living but you  _cannot_ force it upon them. It will do them more harm than good," he repeated what he had said earlier.

"I have said this again and again over the past several years. I have shown you what it's like out there; spousal abuse, abandon babies, illegal abortions, buying and selling of children! Is this what our society has come down to? Selling away a baby because they're in a marriage neither of them wanted. Abandoning a child because they just don't know how to cope? Putting themselves under the knives without proper anesthesia because they don't want to be subjected to the law? Can you blame them? I don't know what more proof any of you need. Give them a chance to build their lives at their own pace, let these people be happy. Don't … Don't sentence them to this and for how long? Another 75 years? Let's just… all of you think about this for a minute."

Haymitch straightened up.

"Thank you, Mr. Abernathy. Council shall reconvene in a week's time," the President nodded.

"Great speech," Plutarch clapped his shoulder. "Effie always has a flair with words."

"Effie and Peeta," he corrected. "You should have seen the original speech they came up with. I had to take off poetic sentences about  _'a breath of life…'_  or  _'you can't force a flower to bloom out of their season'._  They were trying to draw an analogy between flowers and people," Haymitch rolled his eyes.

"Must be all the gardening you're letting her do back in Twelve," Plutarch laughed. "How's that apple tree of hers doing? Still standing?"

"Yeah," Haymitch nodded. "The twins love that tree. Effie's put a small kids table under that tree with two chairs. They'll have their lunch there sometimes."

XxX

Dinner was extravagant and boisterous. The year was winding to a close and the campaigns were done. There was nothing left to do but wait for the Council's word on the referendum. Everyone was gathered in Twelve, celebrating the success and the end of the campaigns.

Peeta and Haymitch set up tables outside, long enough to accommodate everyone in attendance. Johanna would not stop snickering about how romantic it was to dine under the stars until Katniss told her that she was more than welcome to dine alone inside the house.

The children sat around the table under the twins' apple tree with Haymitch keeping a watchful eye on them, his arm slung over the back of Effie's chair.

"She's adorable," Effie cooed, wiping the bit of puree from the corner of the girl's lips. "Just a little bit more, darling, come now, just one bite, please."

It was Annie's second month in Twelve and Arianne was slowly filling out, her cheeks now sporting a healthy pink glow.

"What are you feeding her?" Plutarch asked. "Doesn't seem like she is enjoying it much."

"Something I used to make for the twins when they were at this age," answered Effie. "Are you taking notes for your own son?"

Plutarch merely smiled at that. Haymitch watched as Tristan ran over to them, carrying his empty bowl. He climbed on to Haymitch's lap, pointing to his bowl.

"More," he said.

Haymitch obliged, spooning more stew on it. Tristan turned his gaze on the little girl, reaching out to pat her cheek, smiling at her.

"Came for seconds?" Effie asked her son. "Do you like the dress Uncle Felix bought for her? She's the prettiest tonight, isn't she?"

Tristan was never given a chance to answer because Haymitch had carried him and his bowl back to the table under the tree. Effie sighed, the smile sliding off her face. Haymitch was always careful to put some distance between his two children and the baby, insisting that there was no need for them to get too attached. It would only be more difficult when social services arrive for the girl. He warned Effie of the same, told her to be careful where her feelings were concerned.

Haymitch returned to the adult's table just in time to hear Beetee's question.

"When will the social services be coming?"

"In two… two weeks," Annie answered.

Social Services had been visiting Twelve on several occasion to check on Arianne's progress while they tried to find a suitable solution. The girl's mother was receiving help and the father was currently in rehabilitation.

"It's happening then?" Johanna asked. "They're taking Ari away this time?"

Haymitch had not liked it when Johanna had given the girl a nickname but he kept quiet about it. There was no point to it, no point in cooing and fawning over her either. This was just temporary after all.

He could already see Annie and Effie beginning to care about the girl. Felix doted on her as he did with the twins, Prim and Finn. He had not arrived empty handed. When he came, Felix spilled toys on their living room, driving all the children giddy with happiness. Prim was giving a set of cooking toys, the twins each received a battery operated toy car which they rode around with abandon on the front yard much to Effie's dismay while Finn was given a bicycle. For Arianne, Felix bought her a doll – "to keep her company when she's gone away from us."

"If we can pass her off as one of yours, we don't have to return her to social services," Felix mused. "Pity she doesn't look like any of you. Dark hair and green eyes… If only they were grey, we can say it's yours, Haymitch."

Haymitch stared pointedly at Katniss with her dark hair and Seam grey eyes.

Felix started laughing.

Katniss scowled. "Or Gale's," she retorted. "Look alike if she's got grey eyes. Maybe you pass her off as your kid then, Jo."

Johanna rolled her eyes.

"The story's already out there. Everybody knows she's not one of ours," Peeta shrugged, bringing his arm around Katniss shoulder. "Pity, really. She's a delightful, isn't she?"

"I'm going to miss her," Felix said.

"Me too!" Finn chimed, having abandoned the kids' table to stand next to his mother. "Can't we keep her, mummy?"

That startled her. Annie blinked.

Social Services would never deem Annie fit to look after the child as a foster parent. When the news broke, Katniss promised the department that there would be capable people in Twelve to look after the welfare of the girl while things were being sorted out. They took turns caring for the baby while briefly "making use of her as publicity stunt" as Effie had hissed angrily to Haymitch one night before the campaign ended.

"Plutarch's got a point, y'know. The rebellion had the Mockingjay, this campaign needs a face," Haymitch said defensively. He bit his tongue when Effie glared at him. "Come on, sweetheart, the entire nation loves her. It's only for the remainder of the campaign which will be over soon anyway. Her father's been sent to rehab and when he's out hopefully he'll be capable enough to look after her. Silver lining, right? And her mother – "

"Is only an 18 year old child," Effie finished.

"Technically, already an adult but, yeah," he shrugged. "We can get people and the Council especially, to sympathise with her. That's a good thing."

Effie had not seen it that way. It was just something else in their long history that they couldn't agree on.

XxX

The clouds hung heavy in the sky above as they gathered outside the Council's building in the City for President's Paylor announcement.

Plutarch had an easy smile on his face as he stood next to his wife. Haymitch and Felix each had the twins in their arms while Effie held on to little Ari. Katniss and Johanna stood on each side of Annie who had her arms loop around Finn standing in front of her. Peeta was there with Gale and Beetee, and behind them, there was a crowd of people.

Media vans were lined on the streets.

"Reporters' here," Haymitch whispered. "Could mean anything."

Plutarch nodded but his eyes were fixated on the President who was ready to make her announcement.

"After careful and deliberate consideration, by the power decreed upon me as the President of Panem, for the first time in the history of this nation," she paused.

Haymitch clenched his jaw. His arm tightened around Effie's shoulder reflexively and she touched his fingers, curling her own around his hand.

"A referendum is called to resolve the issues pertaining to Population White Paper and the resulting marriage law."

Haymitch sucked in a breath. Effie gasped.

"It is called upon as an effort to objectively decide the options presented to the people of Panem. Mr. Plutarch Heavensbee and Mr. Haymitch Abernathy campaigned long and hard for this referendum to be held and I thank you for your effort and your services to this country," Paylor glanced at them briefly.

"That's sarcasm," Johanna muttered.

"Shush," Peeta said.

"Instead of dismissing the call for a referendum, the Council has decided to expand the two options – a 'yes' or a 'no' to the continued enforcement of the law – to include a third option for voters to decide on. The law will then be dealt accordingly to the mandate of the people."

"What?" Fulvia frowned. "Surely, that's – "

"The third choice would allow voters to opt for the law to remain in place for another ten year period before it is abolished. This will allow for a grace period to grow the population as best as we could," President Paylor smiled, nodding encouragingly at everyone. "It is a compromise we are willing to come to. A compromised that the Council feel will work for everyone. With that being said, voting will take place in three months' time next year. Details will be made known through radio and television broadcast, newspaper and bulletin boards at each district's Community Centre."

"We did it," Haymitch breathed, amazed and astounded. "We did it, sweetheart."

He barely had time to let Ethan down before Effie turned in his arms, framing his face and kissing him soundly on his lips. Little Ari was pressed in between them with the twins standing next to their parents, holding on to each other's hands.

The cameras started flashing.


	71. Chapter 71

Haymitch approached her lazily, advancing on her until her back hit the kitchen counter. He plucked the coffee mug out of her fingers and placed it on the sink behind, trapping her in between. She laughed when he dipped his head, kissing her lips and then her neck.

"Stop," Effie giggled, nodding towards the kitchen window that overlooked their backyard. "Annie will see us! You know how she likes to take Ari out to the back for the geese."

Without breaking the kiss, Haymitch reached behind her, fumbling with the curtains on the window and pulled it shut.

"You were saying?"

Instead of being annoyed, Effie found herself amused by his behaviour and the good mood that he was in that morning. Still, she pushed lightly on his chest.

"The boys will wake soon. I have to start breakfast for them, for you!"

"I'm gonna have mine right now," he said and without another word, Haymitch lifted her off the floor up, spinning them around towards the chair. He gathered her dress up so that it bunched around her waist before dropping in front of her. "Legs – up here," he patted his shoulders. "Come on."

"You have absolutely lost your mind!" she protested but there was no resistance on her part when he lifted her legs. "In the kitchen?"

"Right here," he nodded, kissing her inner thigh and marking her. "Made sure I woke up earlier than the boys for this. And, I even got this," he waved a packet of condoms in her direction.

Effie threw her head back and laughed only to cover her mouth, stifling her laughter so as not to wake the boys up. "Who did you have to bribe to get that from?"

Haymitch's only answer was a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders.

"No, no, get up, Haymitch," she said, sliding her legs off. Effie tugged on his elbow persistently until he had no choice but to stand.

He groaned in frustration and stuffed the packet back into his pocket but when he turned around, he saw her propped on the kitchen counter, smiling at him invitingly. Effie parted her legs, slowly as he stared entranced.

Haymitch moved forward, his mouth dry.

"Well?"

"You're a tease," he grinned, pushing himself in between her legs.

She reached down, pulling on his pants impatiently. He helped her out of her dress, throwing it over the chair behind him and kicking his pants off when it fell around his ankles.

Effie looped her hands around his neck, sighing when she felt him moving inside her. His fingers would leave marks on her hips as he pushed himself deeper, relishing the feel of her nails grazing against his scalp. Her legs were wrapped around his waist, heels digging into his back, bringing them closer together.

Up in the twins' room, they could already hear movements, little footsteps walking across the floorboard. He could hear Ethan's voice calling out for his brother.

"Hurry," she urged, lifting up her hips to meet his. "Before they come down."

Things began to feel more urgent. He grunted into her ears with each thrust, picking up the pace and intending to finish what he started. His head dropped to her shoulder, his breathing ragged but he didn't stop. Her nails dug into the skin of his shoulder. The sweat glistened on her skin and her hair was matted to her face. Her eyes were screwed shut and he knew she was close. Just a little bit more.

"Effie," he moaned. "Look at me."

Gentle fingers dusted over his jaw and then his cheekbones before she opened her eyes. He wanted this morning alone with her after all that had happened and when he looked down into those clear blue eyes, the same blue that reflected the sky outside, he saw the world in her eyes, stretched out and laid down before him. He could get lost in there. Haymitch never took his eyes off her as he watched her squirmed in his arms as he palmed her breast. She was beautiful.

"You're …" the words caught in his throat. He forced it out. She deserved this. She should know just how lovely she was. "Very attractive," he blurted out.

That was not what he meant to say. He wanted to tell her that she was beautiful.

"After all these years of being insulted for the way I look," she said breathlessly, never breaking their tandem as they moved together, "I must remember this day. Thank you."

She smiled; her lips parted slightly as he gave one final thrust. There was a loud gasp and then, "Hay – "

He clamped his hand over her mouth before she could scream his name. Effie could get very loud. He would know.

"Shh," Haymitch said, "shhh! We don't need the boys to hear their mother screamin' in here. They'll come running."

She chuckled in amusement, coiling an arm around his neck for support as he let her down. Slowly, Haymitch took his hand away and Effie started laughing out loud only to end up burying her head on his chest.

"There shall not be a repeat of this," she shook her head. "Not in the kitchen at least!"

Haymitch smirked. "Gotta try at least once," he shrugged.

He helped her fixed her dress. As he pulled up his pants in a hurry, he heard the door of the twins' room finally creaking open. It was a miracle that it took the boys that long to leave their room. Tristan had probably gotten distracted by the colouring book Haymitch had strategically placed in the room, carefully making sure that the book would be the first thing Tristan would see upon waking up, and knowing Ethan, he would do whatever his brother was doing.

"I love you," Effie surprised him, standing on tiptoes to kiss him again as she helped him with the buttons of his shirt before the boys could walk in on them. "I never had the chance to congratulate you on the referendum but I'm very proud of you, Haymitch, and I love you."

Haymitch felt his throat constrict, felt a very strong desire to push her away so he could get outside for some air. Instead, he stood his ground, swallowing. His mouth tried to form the words to give her some comfort, to not let her down and disappoint her.

"I – ", he frowned. "Effie, I –"

He stepped out of her arms.

"It's okay," she whispered. "I just… just wanted you to know that."

He nodded, brushing his thumb across her cheek.

XxX

Tristan would not stop crying no matter what Effie said. He kept pointing at Ari and then back behind him towards the house.

"Haymitch, please," Effie pleaded, approaching him with Tristan clinging to her. "Talk to him."

Haymitch exhaled loudly, grumbling under his breath that this was the exact reason why he didn't want the boys to get attached to the girl in the first place.

"Come on, peanut, don't cry," he patted the boy's back comfortingly. Tristan wrapped his arms around Haymitch, sobbing helplessly with his face buried on his father's shoulder.

"Bad people, dada. Many, many bad people," he pointed at the social workers. "Make Ari stay!"

"Listen, Tristan," Haymitch started. At the rare use of his name, the boy looked up, his face red and blotchy. "She gotta go. She's going home, you understand?"

He didn't because when Haymitch said home, he looked at the house Annie had stayed in for the past months and then to their house.

Haymitch shifted Tristan in his arm, coaxing the boy until they were looking at each other. "Those people… they'll take real good care of her. They're good people."

"I play with Ari," he cried.

He set Tristan down so that he was kneeling in front of his son. "I know she's your friend. You like to play with Ari, yeah? But she wants to go home to her mama, peanut," he tried. "When you were at Uncle Peeta's house playin' with Prim, you wanna go home to your mama when it's dark, right?"

Tristan hesitated, biting on his thumb and then he nodded slowly.

"It's the same for Ari. She's gonna go home. Her mama misses her like your ma will miss you if you're away for long. You get it now?" he held his son's gaze, willing him to understand. Tristan stared back, silvery grey eyes bright and shining with tears. It fell hot and fast down his cheeks. Haymitch wiped them away.

"No, Dada! I want to play with Ari," he insisted, breaking out into fresh tears. "I and Finn."

Haymitch pinched the bridge of his nose. This was getting nowhere but he had to be the one to talk to the boy. When Tristan was in one of his moods, especially those that Effie couldn't get through, it was always him that managed to comfort the boy. That was still a strange concept to him and he never understood why anyone would go to him for comfort.

"Come here," he beckoned, "come here."

Tristan stepped into his arms once more and clung to his neck. The loud crying had tapered down to pitiful sobs and Haymitch took that opportunity to check on Ethan. The younger boy was holding on to Effie's hand, tiptoeing to get a better look on Ari in her baby stroller. He watched his son dropped a kiss on the toddler's cheek and then he did something that surprised Haymitch.

Ethan placed his tiger soft toy, worn out from the years he had it since he was a baby next to Ari with such gentle care. He smiled up to his mother, proud and pleased. Effie nudged him towards Haymitch then and he came barrelling to where his father was.

"Da! Da! I lend Ari my tiger!" he said excitedly, bouncing on his feet.

"Why'd you do that?" he asked, lifting the boy off the floor and into his arms. He was used to carrying both boys at the same time but as they grow bigger and heavier, he found himself struggling.

"Ummm," Ethan swept his hair out of his eyes, biting his lower lip. "Mama said… Make Ari feel…" he grappled for the right words, trying to recall what Effie had told him, "… feel better."

"Yeah?"

Ethan nodded enthusiastically.

"Make her sleep better. Like me. I always sleep with Tiger. But I – I don't want Tiger. I'm a big boy!" he said proudly.

Haymitch nodded his head already distracted by the sight of Effie wiping away her own tears as she said goodbye to Arianne.

The eight months old toddler stared at him over Effie's shoulder, her warm green eyes reflected the innocence she held. Haymitch averted his gaze.

He looked away when the social workers took Ari out of Effie's arms. He refused to look when Annie kissed the girl goodbye. He kept his eyes on the boys when the social workers left the premises with Ari and he pretended not to hear the little girl crying. Haymitch stubbornly ignored Effie's quiet sniffles as she took the boys back into the house.

It was only after they were inside that Haymitch moved towards the gate. He stayed until Ari had disappeared around the corner towards the train station. Haymitch clenched his jaws forcing himself to get rid of that ache that had made a home in his heart for the past two days. While everyone had been busy preparing for Ari's departure, he had taken a passive role, avoiding Ari as best as he could.

Now, he wished that he had at least seen the girl off but it was too late for that. He knew why he didn't. He would never admit it to anyone but Tristan and Ethan could make him do anything once they stared up at him with those huge ridiculous eyes, and he didn't want to find out if Arianne held the same power.

XxX

A heavy, unbearable mood began to cloak the Village once Ari left. Annie wandered around, seemingly at a loss on what to do. Even Finn with his constant cheerful spirit that never failed to bring joy to everyone was quiet. He played by himself or sat silently without speaking next to the twins and Prim.

Haymitch didn't like how Arianne was affecting them all, even him. She had only been with them for less than three months and they could already feel the gaping hole left behind by her absence. Felix and Johanna arrived for Annie and Finn, and even their arrival did little to lift the mood although for a brief second, Finn did lighted up at the sight of Johanna.

"We're ready," Felix shouted, waving Johanna over. He fussed over Annie's luggage and settled Finn into the train.

Haymitch pulled Johanna aside to talk to her. Effie gave them a curious glance. "You keep an eye out for Annie and her boy."

"You don't have to tell me that," Johanna crossed her arms. Felix walked briskly towards them, wanting to know what the holdup was. "We're staying with her for a while until everything's settled down."

"Do you think Annie will be okay?" Felix asked.

"Yeah," Haymitch nodded. "You just make sure she focuses her attention on Finn. It'll take her mind off the girl."

"I meant Ari. Do you think she'll be okay?"

"Social Services wouldn't take her back to her mother if they don't think she'll be okay," Haymitch said though it sounded too much as if he was trying to convince himself.

"Yes, but they only found her mother a few days after Annie moved to Twelve. That's not enough time to teach the girl everything she needs to know about motherhood," Felix argued.

"Does anyone actually know everything there is to know?" Johanna chuckled.

"I don't think she's fit to look after Ari, that's all," Felix said haughtily. "She ran away, you know."

"She was scared. With all that media attention, she has all the reasons to be scared. She's been given counselling. They wouldn't take the child back to her mother if they don't think – "

"It's still stupid," Johanna shrugged, agreeing with Felix. "Too soon. Who knows if the girl won't run away again? But since Ari's staying in Four, about ten minutes' walk away from Annie's, then maybe we can keep an eye out when we're there. Spying," Johanna winked, "for her safety."

Felix nodded, still not entirely convinced. But he left them alone, going off to talk to Effie.

"Your husband knows you're staying in Four?"

"Yeah," Johanna nodded. "Don't worry about him. He won't realised I'm not there."

"He's a good kid, Jo."

"Sure," she said, squinting against the glare of the mid-days' sun. "Effie's a good person, that don't mean you love her right?"

"I … care about what happened to her," Haymitch said, choosing his words carefully. He was not sure where this was going.

Johanna met his eyes, her face was grim. "Once this Referendum is over and if the law is repealed, we're getting a divorce – Gale and I," she told him. "I think it's best that way."

"You've talked about it?" Haymitch asked, slowly.

"Haven't you? You haven't discussed with your wife yet?" she asked, surprised. Then she started laughing, a mocking and derisive laugh. "You talk a good game about dissolving the law but you've never talked to her about what you both gonna do when it's all over?"

"Before the twins were born, sure, we talked about it," Haymitch told her.

His eyes strayed towards Effie. From the get-go, she had always known what he wanted. He was vocal about wanting to go their separate ways. There were brief mentions of separation and divorce, and Effie even promised him joint custody of the twins should anything happened but there had been no other talks about it.

Johanna pursed her lips, a displeased frown settling on her face.

" _You_  need to talk to her, Mitch. Both of you need to work things out," Johanna hissed.

"Ain't that easy for you to say?" he sneered, bristling at the tone of her voice. "You don't have kids complicating the matter. How 'bout  _you_  worry about Annie and I'll worry 'bout my family," he dismissed her concerns away.

 


	72. Chapter 72

Last year, he argued that the twins' were too young but this year, Effie declared and insisted that they were at the age where they would be able to actually appreciate the fireworks exploding in the skies above. Knowing that arguing would lead him nowhere, Haymitch relented and the four of them welcomed the New Year at the meadow, watching the sparks and the flares filled the sky. It was worth it, he thought, as he listened to Ethan squealing, his face lighting up each time the sky glowed and Haymitch couldn't take his eyes off Tristan who was staring in amazement. He had not seen the boy this happy since Ari left.

"See, I told you they'll love it," Effie grinned.

With the start of a brand new year, the three months' timeline set by President Paylor passed in a flurry of activities. Even as the details of the election was being finalised by the Council, the Government was also busy launching their own form of persuasion to sway the public's mind. There were fliers and posters hung at the town centre, and on the walls at the market and community centre to remind citizens for the need of a population growth. They extolled the benefits of having children – education subsidy, baby bonus and medical schemes – and stressed the importance of building a family. There were pictures of families in domestic bliss, holding the hands of two children on their posters which could be seen everywhere in every district.

In the City, at the Council's chambers, Haymitch knew from Adler and Plutarch that the Government was steeling itself for the outcome of the Referendum. They were drafting policies, setting up procedures and outlining the measures that they would have to enforce almost immediately depending on the mandate of the people. It gave Haymitch great pleasure to know that even as he walked down the streets, trying hard not to roll his eyes at all the posters lining up the walls, somewhere in the City, the Council members were getting ready for an event that the law were called to be abolished.

Reporters were sent out to the streets to get the general mood of the people and to better understand people's views and thoughts for the upcoming vote.

In Twelve, Greasy Sae was among those who were interviewed.

"See that girl over there," the woman pointed to the other end of the eatery. The camera panned over to where her granddaughter was sitting, staring out the window at the activities on the street. "She oughta have the right to choose who she gonna marry… when she gonna marry. I will vote, yes, 'cause that's what I want for her. Her life - she gets to choose, gotta have the freedom to live it. You have a daughter?"

"Yes, mam, I do," the reported nodded. "I'm guessing your vote will be a 'no'?"

Voting was meant to be confidential, but with all the media attention and the campaigns, some people were vocal about their stance, Greasy Sae included because she was not hesitant when she answered, "that's right," and cackled into the camera.

In his living room, Haymitch chuckled quietly as he watched the interview. That evening, he brought Effie and his sons over to her diner, leaving behind a generous tip for Greasy Sae before he left.

"Musta seen my interview," Greasy Sae mused when she noticed the tip. "Like it, did ya?"

Haymitch smiled, giving her a thumb-up.

When they left the diner, there was a reporter waiting idly outside. Effie declined to be interviewed but Haymitch gave a few words out of necessity amidst the Government's propaganda. He reiterated the main points of the campaigns and reminded the public of how the law was affecting them. That interview quickly gained popularity because of Ethan. For all of his efforts to shield the boys from the cameras, the reporter had managed to catch him leaving Greasy Sae's diner with Ethan clinging to him on a piggyback ride. The child refused to let go even when Effie tugged on his arms, leaving Haymitch to answer the reporter's questions with Ethan on his back.

It had worked in Haymitch's favour by softening his image. People were already beginning to forget that Haymitch was the very same drunk they had mocked for years, and the interview helped. People saw him as a father and a family man. It appealed to the public and it made him more endearing.

"It's not  _your_  charming personality that made that interview so well-liked," Effie teased. "It's your son. He's winning the hearts of everyone with that smile."

"A smile that he got from me," Haymitch retorted, not wanting her to have the upper hand.

"Not those cute dimples, he didn't. Those, he got it from me," her voice was smug and boastful, "and that's what's important, isn't it? Those dimples on his cheeks when he smiles."

Haymitch pretended not to hear that. This was one of those times where he certainly did not need to indulge her.

XxX

The purple hue of the twilight filtered through their bedroom window, marking the beginning of dawn. Haymitch was still fast asleep, disarmingly unaware of Effie's increasing agitation as she lay next to him, staring at the ceiling and counting slowly in her head to calm herself.

When that did nothing to soothe her, Effie propped herself on her elbow, watching Haymitch sleep. There was a time long before everything when Haymitch could not sleep without his knife and alcohol but those days were long gone. She almost could not remember what that was like for him, for them. He had changed, subtly and slowly but he changed all the same and so had she.

"Haymitch," she whispered, shaking him awake.

Her breath was warm against his skin. He began to stir, mumbling incoherently under his breath.

"I can't sleep."

"Hmm?"

"Haymitch," she called out again. "We were married this month, five years ago."

He rubbed his face, blinking rapidly in the darkness to clear the sleep, and bring focus the outline of her face against the pale moonlight. Haymitch switched the lamp and rolled over to face her.

"You woke me up to tell me I missed our fifth anniversary?" he muttered, clearly unhappy at being woken up.

His brain was foggy with sleep but he knew enough to know that they had not celebrated their second or their third or their fourth. Those days passed without him realising and without her bothering to point it out to him.

"In two weeks' time…" she went out as if she had not heard his question. "In two weeks, we're going to vote."

A pair of pensive eyes bore into his imploringly. Haymitch released a breath, propping himself on the headboard. He scratched the stubble on his jaw, his mind working furiously as he tried to think of what to say to her.

"What's going on, sweetheart?"

It was the way she was looking at him that made his breath caught in his throat. The sparks in her eyes were gone. The muscles on her face were taut as she bit the inside of her cheek. Effie reached out for him, scooting over to where he was half lying on the bed and rested her head on his shoulder.

"I have been thinking about it for the past few days. I don't know… Haymitch, I don't know what to vote," her voice was strained, pleading with him to understand. "That third option…"

"Effs," he ran his fingers through her hair, working out the knots that had formed overnight. "This law… You know it can't go on."

Effie tilted her head back to look at him, a forced smile on her lips.

"I know. I know every pros and cons of it. It's just… My grandmother… She used to tell me and Felix that the first five years of a marriage is a test of endurance – old adage - and we've passed that mark, Haymitch. I just never thought… that we would last this long, that we would be married this long."

"I…. Effie, we should – I never meant for us to stay -"

"No, I remember," she nodded grimly, lips set into a line. She swirled meaningless patterns on his chest, her eyes fixed at a point somewhere outside their window. The sun was already peeking out of the horizon. Soon they would have to get up but for now there was only them. "I've never forgotten, Haymitch, not once. I wanted to but I always remember why you wanted this law to end, what drove you to seek Plutarch and work on this law in the first place. When this law is repealed, I should be given credit for being your main motivation," she chuckled, the bitterness dripping from her voice. "For all the wrong reasons."

Bitterness did not suit her, he thought.

"Don't say that," he said harshly. "This was as much for me as it was for you. It started that way. You shouldn't… Not with me," he rubbed his face and then he took a deep breath, changing the subject altogether. "What do you want to do for our fifth?"

"Nothing," the word left her mouth, surprised at his question. Their anniversary was never a topic for discussion. "I don't need us to do anything."

She pecked his lips as if to assure him of it and disappeared into the bathroom.

It didn't sit right with him. He couldn't explain the reason but there was a heavy feeling settling in his stomach. There was just something about this year that made him jittery.

Haymitch bought her a wooden jewellery box. It was smooth to the touch and beautifully carved. The top lid was engraved with her name – Effie Trinket – and it was only after he had bought it that he remembered. Feeling foolish, Haymitch went back to the shop and bought the exact same box but this time he had it engraved properly while studiously ignoring the shopkeeper's judgmental stare. He handed the piece to her wrapped in an old newspaper without much fuss.

"It's beautiful," she marvelled, kissing his cheek. "Thank you."

Her thumb brushed over the engraving – Effie Abernathy – and she smiled, though there was nothing joyful about the way she carried herself. Her eyes were downcast, her shoulders droop slightly and her gaze lingered on the present. Haymitch had only gifted her with two things throughout their marriage – his mother's bracelet years ago and that jewellery box – and in both occasion she managed to make him feel as if he failed to meet her high expectations.

"Don't you like it?"

"I love it," she smiled again. "I never expected it and I… like the surprise."

He clenched his jaw. Haymitch stared at her and then as if someone had turned on a switch inside him, he began to understand why she was acting the way she did. He swallowed the lump in his throat and turned away from her.

Anniversaries were always a cause for celebration but it had never been that way for them. She had made the effort but he had ruined their first year, and all the other years passed without a thought, forgotten (on his part) and unmarked. This year, it was shadowed by the referendum and it was becoming evidently clear to him that Effie was treating it as their last anniversary together. She had marked the end, the way Johanna and Gale had marked theirs.

That realisation sent him reeling in surprise, a punch in his gut. It sent him running out into the backyard where he spent the rest of the afternoon fixing the geese pen with a drink in his hand.

XxX

The only time the Community Centre was bustling with these much activity would be at the end of the month when the Government handed the cash pay-out for the baby bonus scheme. But today, on the first day of the month, the Community Centre was exploding with commotion.

Throngs of people packed the walkway towards the two story building, some spilling through the double doors, all brimming with excitement to fulfil their civic duties. Everyone above the age of 18 - the age that the law required people to enter into a marriage - was allowed to vote. There were children in attendance, running around in the square under the bright morning sun. They were oblivious to the importance of that day and how it would eventually be written down in history books for being the first referendum to ever be held in Panem.

Haymitch spotted two SNG vehicles stationed near the Centre, the large discs on each van was a dead giveaway that it was there to gather the news.

It did not take long for words to spread that he had arrived. Haymitch and Effie found their paths blocked by two reporters before they could past through the doors.

"Haymitch had worked hard for the voting to be held, so my only message to the people is for them to think wisely of their choices, and to choose the option that they think is best for this country to move forward as one," Effie said into the microphone, smiling pleasantly for the cameras.

"Over the course of the many appeals, you have been asked this question again and again but I don't think we were ever given a clear answer, so, maybe this time it will be different. What will your future with your husband be like if the law is repealed, Mrs Abernathy?"

The dazzling smiled stayed fix on her face and Haymitch was reminded of the escort that she once was during the Games.

Haymitch stood tensed next to her, waiting for what she would say.

"We're taking it one step at a time," she answered, glancing at him. He gave an imperceptible nod of his head to tell her that that answer was satisfactory. The camera panned to include him in the frame. Effie reached out for him and he took her hand, lacing their fingers together. It was a sign of solidarity, that she would stand by him and this was strengthened by what she said next. "First, we vote. Then we shall see the results of the poll. Whatever the case may be, Haymitch and I will always think of our children, first and foremost. They're our priority now."

Haymitch nodded at the camera, conveying his agreement with Effie. He then steered her away from the reporters at the earliest opportunity before they could pry more answers out of her.

"Peeta and Katniss are waiting. I saw them on the way," he informed her.

Haymitch took the lead, parting the crowd to make way for Effie and his sons. He could already feel the sweat on his back by the time he reached Peeta and Katniss calmly lounging on one of the benches, watching the crowd as they passed.

"It's intense in there," Katniss nodded towards the Community Centre. "There's a long queue to vote. I think anyone who can vote has come down."

She clutched on to Prim, moving the girl to her lap in fear on losing her in the crowd. Haymitch glanced behind him. The crowd had swell as the morning grew older and people had begun to rouse from their slumber.

"Good," Haymitch nodded, satisfied. "That's good news. Casted your votes yet?"

"Yeah, we were among the first. Wanted to beat the crowd," Peeta grinned.

"Will you look after the boys?" asked Effie.

"Sure."

"Be good for Uncle Peeta," Effie told the twins' and they nodded in unison.

As Effie and Haymitch climbed up the steps to enter the Centre, Effie slipped her hand in his.

"Look around, Haymitch," she gestured. "You have every reason to be proud. It's because of you that this is possible."

"One step at a time, like you said. Nothing to be proud of until the law is well and truly gone."

"Oh, Haymitch! Take credit when credit is due, will you?"

He shrugged. "You gonna tell me what you're voting?"

"I'm not going to!" she laughed, shaking her head. "Voting is confidential."

He rolled his eyes. As if he needed reminding. Haymitch wanted to point out to her that there were people who were not hesitant about making their stand known but he didn't want to push her so he wisely kept his mouth shut.

"Effs," he grabbed her hand, pulling her back to him when she moved to join one of the five queues to the voting booth. He tucked a loose strand behind her ear, his eyes fixed on her lips. "You should know that I wouldn't … This wouldn't be possible without your help.  _You_  should be proud of this, too. You once told me that you were proud of me… Likewise, sweetheart."

When she parted her lips to say something, Haymitch silenced her with a kiss. He didn't want her to ruin it or to contradict him. People passed by them, some giving them curious glances but others paid them no attention. He curled his fingers behind her neck, drawing her closer and kissing her again when she pulled back slightly.

"You shouldn't have done that, Haymitch," she whispered, out of breath. "I might just vote 'yes' to the law now."

"No," he said, brushing his thumb over her lower lip. "No, you wouldn't. Remember the law. Remember what it's done to you," he advised, not realising that they were never on the same page when it came to the voting and his words only made her question her choices even more.

 


	73. Chapter 73

There were many types of silences that Effie had encountered during her life.

One of those types was the companionable silence, comfortable and soothing, a silence shared between long-time friends and spouses. It was the kind of silence she shared with Haymitch when she curled next to him at night, moments before she fell asleep. Another type of silence that she enjoyed was the peaceful kind, the one that Effie welcomed with open arms and drank in heavily when the boys took their nap because it gave her room to catch her breath and rest.

There was also the bad kind of silence, the kind that hung heavy in the air moments before a hand strike a cheek and someone screamed in pain. Or the unbearable, oppressive silence that was her companion when she endured days in isolation during her imprisonment, one that almost killed her.

Today, the quiet in the voting booth was unlike any other that she had encountered. The silence was a gaping void that needed to be filled with the scratch of pen on paper, the exhale of her breath as she finalised her decision and the sound of paper creasing as she folded it in half to be slipped into the voting box. The silence demanded her to fill the void with noises, demanded her to act but Effie couldn't. She stared, paralysed by the paper she held in her hand.

Effie inhaled, counting silently to ten just as Exton had taught her. She adjusted her grip on the paper, still staring at her options as she weighed her choices carefully. Her gaze was fixed on the third option, the one she had been considering and turning over in her head for days on ends. Those two words – "ten years" – called out to her. She bit her lip.

Ten years was a long time. That option would give her another decade with Haymitch. It would grant her children ten more years with their father. That would make them fourteen. They would be old enough to understand should their father asked for a divorce when the law is repealed then.

 _Would they? It will be easier to lose their father now than later,_  the voice nagged at the back of her consciousness.

Effie squeezed her eyes shut. She tried to reason with herself. They wouldn't be losing their father. She remembered her promise to Haymitch for a joint custody. That would allow him to raise them but just not  _with_  her.

Ten years would give her enough time make him love them; to make him love her.

That sent a jolt down her spine. Effie wrinkled her nose in obvious disgust. She was not that sort of woman, desperate for the affection of a man. She was better than that. Men used to fall on her feet, most men except Haymitch.

_Darling, if you can't make him fall in love with you within these five years, another ten wouldn't make a difference._

Effie hated the truth in that. If he didn't love her, no amount of time would change that. Still her hands shook as it continued to hover on the third option.

She couldn't do it even if she wanted to. It felt so much like enslavement. She couldn't trap him to her for another decade. That was just selfish. But she wanted him and if that made her selfish, then so be it. He is her husband.

Her eyes flickered to the second option, the one she was supposed to choose. The option Haymitch wanted her to vote on even if he had not said it to her out loud. He had heavily implied it. That was the one she was supposed to pick if she truly meant what she said about supporting Haymitch.

 _Put a tick_ _on the second option,_  she told herself.  _Do it! Choose 'no' – you don't want this law._

Time became a distant concept. Effie had no idea how long she had been in that booth. It was quiet. It was so far removed from the chaos and commotion outside the Community Centre. None of the officers on the duty approached her booth asking her to hurry. She was given all the time she needed but Effie wished someone would tell her to move along because only then would she feel the urgency to make a decision.

Effie parted the curtain, taking a peek outside. The queue for her booth wound like a snake. Haymitch was nowhere to be seen. He had probably gone to his own booth. Effie drew the curtain close. She could not stay here forever. At some point, she would have to make a choice. People would start to wonder what was taking her so long. Haymitch would send an officer to check on her and there would be questions.

With such gentle movements, Effie smoothed out the creases on the paper. She laid it flat on the table and took a deep calming breath. On the boxes next to the options, Effie put a tick on all three of them.

The silence fell fast and sharp like a guillotine around her. Effie blinked rapidly in a vain attempt to clear the tears gathering at the corner of her eyes. Her grip on the paper tightened, her knuckles turning white.

"I'm so sorry, Haymitch," she choked out.

With shaky hands, Effie folded the paper in half and dropped it into the ballot box.

This silence screamed of her sin, another kind to put on her list.

XxX

Haymitch was easy enough to spot as she descended the steps of the Community Centre. He was the man carrying a boy in his arms while running after another.

"Come back here!" he demanded.

"Go, dada!" Tristan clapped his hand happily, egging his father. "Run, run!"

Ethan ran past Haymitch and jumped straight at Effie, who nearly toppled if it had not been for a man behind her holding her steady.

"Thank you," Effie thanked the man. "Do not do that, Ethan!"

"Good that you're here," Haymitch said, so severely out of breath. "We're going home and Ethan's getting a time out."

He glared at his youngest son. The boy buried his face on Effie's neck, lips quivering.

"You took a while," Haymitch commented as they walked home. "I had two people ahead of me in the queue and I was done long before you were."

There was nothing to say to that so Effie remained quiet. She held on tight to Ethan's hand as she walked next to Haymitch.

"Got this feeling," he said. "I think this is it - the end of it. The Referendum will do for us what the appeal couldn't."

"You're feeling confident."

"Yeah," Haymitch nodded. "I am. Talked to a few people while waitin' for you. What I got from them is that most of them chose the second option. As they should."

"Voting is confidential!" Effie frowned, trying to mask the guilt that was bubbling inside her. "They shouldn't be discussing it."

Haymitch chuckled. His eyes sparkled with amusement when he glanced over in her direction.

"Will you relax?" he implored. "This isn't Snow. This isn't a dictatorship. Nobody's gonna disappear just 'cause they voiced something out against the Government. Times' changed, sweetheart. Don't be so afraid. What did you choose?"

Effie pursed her lips and shook her head.

"A'right," he nodded. "You don't wanna talk about it. I get that. It's fine. But all I'm saying is that people don't care about it being confidential. Stop," he tugged on her elbow, forcing her to stop walking in the middle of the street. He tapped his ear. "Listen. Listen to what people are talking on the streets."

There was a group of people on the road side, laughing and talking to each other. Effie recognised some of them as the merchants from the farmer's market.

"I'd be damned if I pick the first," one of them laugh. "No way to live like that."

The group laughed. "The third felt like a desperate attempt from President Paylor, in my opinion. We ain't gonna have that law for another ten years. We can't. My girl will be 21 in ten years and she's got dreams that one. Can't have her put that dream on hold so she can get married."

Haymitch gave her a pointed look as they continued walking. Effie chewed on her bottom lip, thinking quietly to herself.

"The votes will be logged into the central database in the City, wouldn't it? Will the Government know what I voted?"

"They probably will but that's classified information," Haymitch explained. "They won't release who voted what – that's the whole point of it being confidential – so they'll just count the votes live on television tomorrow night after the poll close and then release the results of each district."

Effie nodded, her muscles relaxing ever so slightly. She knew this, of course, but it was reassuring to hear it again from him. She didn't want Haymitch to know her vote. She didn't want him to know that she, his own wife, had let him down. The guilt burrowed itself deep in her heart.

How many times had she reassured him that she was on his side? Yet today proved that it wasn't all true.

"What's class… class-fified, dada?" Tristan asked, twirling the ends of Haymitch's hair around his finger.

"Classified. It means secret," Haymitch answered. "Like the ones you and your brother, and your mother have. You people keep secrets from me, right?"

"No, we don't!" the boy said in surprised. He looked at his mother.

"Yeah? Who broke the chair under the apple tree?"

"'twas an accident! Promise."

Effie laughed quietly, shaking her head at her son. Tristan had crashed his battery operated toy car against the chair causing one of the legs to splinter. The boy had been terrified and Effie had promised him not to tell Haymitch about it but of course, Haymitch knew.

He let his son down and watched him run forward to walk alongside his younger brother, whispering conspiratorially in Ethan's ear.

"They should have done the counting tonight and it should last all the way till late morning the next day to preserve the validity of the votes but getting those boxes from the different districts to the counting centre in the City takes time," Haymitch went on.

It was rare to catch Haymitch in this good mood that Effie let him be. He wasn't a man of many words so to have him explain the process to her patiently without grumbling under his breath was an indication of the mood he was in.

The polling went on until eight that night.

They were back at Greasy Sae's diner for dinner and Haymitch had Ethan propped on his shoulder at they stood amongst the crowd, watching the black vans bearing Panem's official seal pulled up into the Community Centre. Armed guards hopped out and secure the premises as boxes upon boxes containing District Twelve's voting slips were brought out. Each of those boxes was heavily sealed to ensure that it was not tampered with. They were then stacked in the vans. The doors were slammed shut and locked. The engines roared to life and the crowd cheered. They had fulfilled their duties and all that was left was to wait for the results.

"Mr. Abernathy!" an eager young woman approached them. She came armed with two lollipops for the boys which was a clear form of bribery in Effie's opinion but she smiled, saying nothing. The woman flashed her badge, identifying herself as an employee from one of the state controlled newspaper company. "We require an interview from you once the results of the votes are released. I assume that you and your family will be at the Square tomorrow night to watch the live telecasts as the votes are counted, just like everyone else?"

"It depends," Haymitch shrugged, "on the boys. By the time those boxes reaches the City and they are ready to count the votes, it will be ten at night. It's past their bedtime and their mother is strict about schedules," he flashed Effie a grin. "They'll start the count in One and who knows what time it'll be when they finally get to Twelve. Chances are, I'll be at home."

"But it is imperative that I get an interview – "

Haymitch frowned which was a sign for Effie to intervene.

"I am certain that Haymitch will be amenable to an interview after the results are released. You may call the house to arrange for a suitable time."

Satisfied at that compromise, the woman nodded, taking down their down number before scurrying away.

"You don't want to watch the count? Are you certain of it?" asked Effie. "If the children take their afternoon naps, I will allow them this one time to stay past their bedtime."

"What's the point?" Haymitch shrugged. "Doesn't matter – we'll know the results when we know it. Don't have to follow the counts."

It dawned on her then that Haymitch was nervous. He simply wanted to wake up the next day knowing only one thing – if the law was repealed or not – without sitting through the process of getting to the final result.

But when night fall the next day and Effie asked him again if he wanted to be at the Square, he hesitated.

"We should go," she coaxed him. "This is your work – you should be there to see it. We don't have to sit through the entire counting process, maybe just for a little while."

They found a place at the Square and there, they watched the count for District One through Three. The twins were wide awake, revelling in the rare occasion where they were allowed out long after the sun had set. Effie pressed herself against Haymitch who had his arm curled around her shoulder.

There was a stream of updates coming in on the big screen that had been set up at the Square. Counting has been concluded in District One and at ten sharp, the results for that district came in.

Effie held his hand tight in hers as the screen flashed the result of the first option in the referendum – 15%. As expected, Haymitch tensed.

"Why would they even vote for that?" Haymitch hissed. "Why would they want the law?"

Those were rhetorical questions to which she had no answer. The second option won by a large majority with 60% of the resident's vote. Haymitch smirked, releasing a breath. That left the third option with 25% which was inconsequential in the light of the majority votes.

In Twelve, the crowd had started cheering and clapping for their fellow district. In District One, people were celebrating in the streets; dancing and singing.

"That's one district in our favour," Haymitch patted her knee.

Back on screen, the reporter tapped her earpiece, intently listening to the reports coming in from the counting centre.

"There are 95 spoilt votes in District One. These occur when voters either made no clear markings or more than one option was marked on the voting slip. Incomprehensible votes are also considered spoilt and spoilt votes are not included in the final vote count," the news anchor reported.

"Idiots," Haymitch cursed. "If those votes were intentionally spoilt, then they're stupid – the whole lot of 'em. They've been given the right to do something and that's what they chose to do with it."

Effie recoiled, pulling her hand out of his grip. He had struck a nerve without realising and she was nervous.

"You okay?" he glanced at her.

Her smile was hollow and Effie watched as his brows furrowed before he turned away, beckoning the boys to him.

Effie and Haymitch stayed until Tristan fell asleep in Haymitch's lap from the late hour. Ethan had grown irritable, wanting his mother to switch the screen to his favourite show.

"This isn't the television at home, darling, I can't change it," Effie stroke his hair. "He's cranky, Haymitch."

In District Three, the second option garnered a 70% vote and similar to District One and Two, the people were celebrating. On screen, the camera zoomed in to Beetee, a wide smile plastered on his face.

"Haymitch, Ethan's cranky," Effie repeated.

"What?" he turned to her with a grin still on his lips. His eyes fell on Ethan and then to the huge clock on the Square. It was already past midnight. "Home?"

XxX

The volume of the television in the living room was turned down low. The screen flashed with scenes in District Five where similar to how it was in Twelve, people were gathered at the Square awaiting the results.

Haymitch lounged on the sofa, feet stretched out before him as he pillowed his head on the arm rest. Effie leaned against the door, watching him. She had tucked both boys in bed and she had tried to go to sleep herself but when she closed her eyes, all she could see was those three ticks she had made on her voting slip. She had tossed and turned, and she had told herself that that was her vote and it was her prerogative but she hated the guilt. She hated keeping this from him.

He lifted her head when he heard her soft footsteps padding across the room. She lay next to him, her head tucked under his chin as he played with her hair. Effie turned off the television.

"I was watching that," he said and she could feel his chest rumbled with every word he spoke. "We got Five. Now they're going to Six."

"We'll know all the districts by tomorrow," she whispered.

"It's two in the morning – why aren't you asleep?" he rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hand, trying to stifle a yawn.

"I can't sleep – "

"What's the matter? You haven't been sleeping properly for days," he asked. He was still worried about her episodes and he had been asking if she had been taking her medication as Exton had prescribed. "Do you want sleeping syrup? I can get Katniss to – "

"No," she shook her head adamantly.

She was close to losing her nerves. He didn't have to know. She could just go back to bed. But before she could change her mind, Effie took a deep breath.

"There's something you should know," she breathed out. Her voice was soft and hesitant. "I – I asked that you be honest with me. You said that there was nothing you're keeping from me anymore."

That got his full attention. The sleep vanished from his eyes and he lifted his head to stare down at her. Haymitch placed a finger under her chin, tilting her head so they were looking at each other.

"Somethin' wrong? I've told you everything -"

"It's not that. It's nothing to do with you," she offered him a small smile. "It's just… It's not right – it won't be fair if I keep it from you when I expect you to -"

"Stop," he squeezed her arm slightly. "Just say it, whatever it is."

"I chose all three, Haymitch," she blurted out. "I gave a void vote. I intentionally spoilt it."

His entire body went rigid. His eyes widened as what she said sunk in and then he clenched his jaws.

"That so?" his voice was void of the warmth she was used to. Effie was reminded of the man underneath - the drunk she had first met – harsh and surly, and violent at times.

Haymitch sat up abruptly and Effie nearly fell of the sofa. She scrambled to her knees in front of him.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

Effie framed his face, kissing him in desperation. Haymitch had closed off and she was trying to bring her husband back to her. She could talk to her husband but not to this man who wouldn't even look at her.

"I'm sorry," she repeated when he did not respond to her kisses.

He held her an arm's length away. "Why?"

"I – I didn't know which to choose. I was torn and I couldn't decide. You have to -"

"Shouldn't it be obvious enough to you? It wasn't even something that needed to be considered. The first is out of the question and the third will bind you to me for another ten years."

"Which is not a bad thing, Haymitch! Why is that such an impossibility? This isn't something bad," she gestured at the space between them. "Being married… It's good, isn't it? We made it worked."

His face morphed into one of shock and anger.

"I can't believe – You are so selfish," he spat, standing up to pace the living room. "This ain't 'bout us."

Effie sat back on her heels, rocking back and forth.

"I know it's not. But when I was in that booth…" her voice cracked a little but Effie refused to cry. She had done nothing wrong. All she had ever done was love him. "When I was in that booth, all I could think about was you. I thought of us and the children. I don't… You don't understand, Haymitch. I don't want to lose you."

Haymitch spun around to face her, clutching his hair in obvious frustration.

"Effie, we were  _forced_  to get married. Do you understand that at least? This," he gestured, very much like she had done earlier, "wasn't by choice."

"I'm not stupid," she snapped but her gaze dropped and she stared at her hands.

" _If_  I wanna get married, I want it to be  _my_  choice, on my terms, out of my own free will.  _If_  I want a wife, I want it to be 'cause I chose to get married not 'cause I had to. I want…" he drew a shaky breath, staring at her. His gaze had softened and the manic frustration in which he held himself had slowly dissipated. "Maybe… If I had the choice, it coulda been you I wanna marry. I don't know. Perhaps you visited Twelve frequently for the kids, maybe I'll see you in Four. We have mutual friends, we're bound to cross paths and …" he ran his hand down his face, "maybe, who knows, but you and I could even be friends and… But I was never given that choice. It was either you or some stranger, and you were already in trouble with all that petitions."

Effie sat on the sofa, gaping at him. She tried to wrap her head around what he just said; all those insinuations and possibilities.

"You thought we could have been  _friends_  after the war? I was under the impression that you hated me."

He rolled his eyes.

"Once, before you told me about your sister and why you were in the Games when our train stopped to refuel," he shrugged. Haymitch scowled when he saw that she was still looking at him with a stupefied expression. "Don't look at me like that. If this law isn't in place – if circumstances had been different – you will have a different life in the City. Find someone – "

"Stop," she shook her head. "Just stop. There is absolutely nothing to be gained by going down that path. I think… I think I understand what you are trying to tell me. Choices. You want to know for certain if you would have chosen me if there was no law."

Haymitch blinked and tore his gaze away from her.

"You silly, silly man," she moved to stand in front of him. "Have you forgotten that at the end of the day, you chose  _me_  just like how I chose you to be my husband? You could have said no to me when I called asking if you would like to marry me. You could have said no and married someone else, Haymitch. You didn't. We chose each other and I fell in love with you, and I don't want to lose you. You would have to live with the fact that for the first time in a long time, you are cherished and loved."

Haymitch jerked, a muscle in his face twitched. A look of surprise crossed his features, as if he had never seen it that way – that they had chosen each other – and that this was the first time he was considering it.

"Sweetheart," he swallowed, "we had our backs against the wall and a noose around our neck. It wasn't much of a choice, was it?"

"There was still a choice," she held his gaze. "You made yours."

The pupils of his eyes dilated at her words and something in the air shifted. A nervous tension had begun to settle in the room but it wasn't coming from her. Effie was past the stage of being anxious. She had said what she meant to said. There was only relief. The same couldn't be said about Haymitch as he stood in front of her, frozen. He blinked once, twice and he swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down.

Even as she stood there watching him, Effie knew he was trying to process his emotions; to understand what it was that he was feeling and what it meant. Haymitch had always been that person to push everything down, to bury it so deep inside and forget everything with alcohol. It was almost instinct and for the past five years, whatever he had felt for her, no matter how infinitesimally small, he had buried it, not once giving any of it a second thought. It was safer that way.

"Do you still love her?" Effie whispered softly, not wanting to surprise him. She reached out for him, tracing a path at the base of his throat. "You took off that silver chain she gave but …. Do you still – "

She didn't think he would answer, and if he did she didn't know what she was expecting.

"No," he shook his head, his voice strained. Haymitch took her wandering hands into his own. "I haven't – haven't loved her in a long while. I can' remember what she looks like," he mused. "I think… that I might have been holding on to the idea of her, somethin' innocent from my past. You were right. She was a ghost and I can't… I don't remember how she made me feel. But you, I know how you – "

He stopped abruptly. Effie nodded, clutching on to his arms before she collapsed. How long had she wanted to hear that? How long had she waited for him to let the past go?

"I don't have a reason to be angry," he said. Haymitch brushed his thumb across her cheek. "It was your vote. It is your right. I should – should accept that."

"But I let you down," she said in a small voice, "and I'm sorry."

He tilted his head, studying her.

"Nothin' to be sorry," he told her. "You know, sweetheart, you're a good person. You try all the time to be a good wife and a good mother, and you are. You will meet someone who will be good to you."

Haymitch took a step towards her.

"I am not that man," his voice was thick with emotions and Effie was suddenly so afraid of what he would say. "In that booth, I chose the second option without a single thought for you. But you…" he rested his forehead against her. His grey eyes clouded with self-loathing and sorrow before he blinked it away.

"Haymitch…" she gripped his wrist, a silent warning for him to stop and to let the matter rest. She didn't want to hear it. She wanted to cover her ears and drown out his voice.

"I told Katniss a long, long time ago that she could have lived a thousand lifetimes and not deserve that boy but," he chuckled bitterly, "I might as well have been talking 'bout myself. I could live a thousand years, sweetheart, and never deserve you. You think I am a good man but I am not."

His smile was hollow and pained, and when he gave her a chaste kiss on her lips, it felt like a thousand apologies.


	74. Chapter 74

Having laced her tea with sleeping syrup after the conversation they had, Effie was sound asleep on her stomach with the covers bunched around her waist, occupying the middle of the bed. Haymitch sat with his upper body propped against the headboard watching her quietly, a thousand thoughts running through his mind.

"Effie," he called her out, his voice low and gravelly as he traced a finger down her spine followed by a faint brush of his thumb over the small scar below her shoulder blade.

She did not stir nor give any indication that she heard him, oblivious to her surroundings.

Her words echoed in his mind - y _ou chose me, just like how I chose you to be my husband_ – and it made his spine tingled.

Haymitch had never seen their marriage from that perspective before. In his mind's eyes, the law had pushed them together. But where was the lie in what Effie had said? He _had_  chosen to be with her, except all these while, he believed that he had done so out necessity. The only other option was to wait for a wife to be picked for him.

Whether it was Effie trying to spin their ordeal into something positive or if she had always seen the choices they had to make in their marriage, she had now shown him a different outlook from which to view his marriage. This revelation was doing things to him – spinning his mind and making him questioned his own feelings.

_I chose her. I made a life with her. She gave me the greatest gift that I didn't even deserve. She gave me Tristan, and she gave me Ethan, and no one … no one has fought to keep me in their life as much as her._

_Why do I keep pushing her away? It's not right to treat this way. She's good and she's a much better person than I am. I don't deserve her._

Those thoughts roared in his head and Haymitch wanted to repress them with a drink. Instead, he squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his jaws to block out the intrusive thoughts. Slowly, the voice in his head began to diminish and his mind was filled with a cloudy haze as he hovered between the space of consciousness and sleep.

 _"_ _You don't deserve her, that's probably true,"_  the thoughts returned only this time he was hearing it in his mother's quiet voice.  _"But, m'boy, you've been given a chance to have something that was robbed from you when you were sixteen. Something good came out from the marriage law - you have your own family now. Your children have never seen you as anything but their father and their guardian. And your wife loves you. Isn't that reason enough to keep them with you? If you can't see this and what you're about to lose, and if you can't see how good she is to you, then maybe you should let the poor girl go. Sign the divorce papers when the time comes – set her free. Then wallow in your self-pity. You will die in this house alone and miserable. You will be what you've always been – a drunk."_

"No!" he jolted upright. "Effie, Effie," he reached out for her blindly in the dark.

Haymitch breathed out in relief when his hand connected with her warm body. He slumped forward, resting his forehead against her back. His eyelashes fluttered against her soft skin and still, she slept.

"Why don't  _I_  deserve you?" he asked out loud, the words came tumbling out from his tired soul. Had she been awake, he would never have vocalized what he was thinking. He would brood in silence with only his thoughts for company and he would push her away. He would make her worry.

"Nobody has said that 'cept… me. I'm not letting myself 'cause I… It's always safer alone. I could have married anyone after the Games but I chose to be on my own in this house. Now…" he sighed. "I've lost everyone I cared for. I've done enough in this life – fought the games and the law – and I'm exhausted. I'm tired of fighting. I deserve  _something_  but I'm… I don't want to take it only to lose it," Haymitch chuckled bitterly.

There was no sound in that house except for their breathing. Haymitch stared at a fix point in the dark bedroom, matching the rhythm of his breathing with her own. He felt the tension leave his body.

"I'm tired of waking up drunk to an empty house. I can't go back to that."

He was barely fifty but he felt as if he had seen things and endured trials and tribulations that had aged him well beyond his years, and he was so exhausted. His soul was aching and tired, and for once, he just wanted to be paid what he was owed.

"Sweetheart," he whispered. "I wanted the law to end 'cause I didn't want to be bound to it. I wanted you to be free and lead your life with someone who could make you happy. But… I don't know if that's what I want anymore. I'm selfish, Effs. You'd know, wouldn't you? Maybe  _I_  can make you happy – I don't know how but what if I can?" he mused. Haymitch splayed his fingers on the curve of her hip. "You said that I'm a good man. You said that… You have to stay – you and the two rascals. You got to. I don't know what I'd do if… I don't want joint custody of the children, Effs. I want them here with me. I want you."

Haymitch lifted his head to see if she was awake but unlike him trying to claw out of his dark and unforgiving self-constructed prison, there was only peace on Effie's face. It made his lips quirked upwards into a smile.

"Didn't hear a thing I said, did you?" he ran his fingers through her hair. "You were right 'bout what you said yesterday. You were always right – we did choose each other and at that time I thought… I thought you were the lesser of two evils but truth is you made me afraid, sweetheart. The idea of you stayin' and being a part of my life was terrifying but the thought of you leavin'…" he trailed off.

"Don't know what you see in me. No one's seen me as anything but an old drunk. I accepted it," Haymitch admitted. "Don't even know what it feels like to be anything else. Don't remember what it feels like to be  _needed_  till Katniss and Peeta, and now you and the boys. I don't remember what it's like to have someone care… to have someone love me."

Haymitch took a shaky breath and paused, blinking slowly in the dark. He was never one to discuss his feelings but it wasn't truly discussing now, was it? He was just… spewing his thoughts out. He couldn't stop talking. There was something therapeutic about it. He felt as if an immeasurable weight had been lifted off his chest.

"You don't have to go," his voice was barely above a whisper and he wasn't sure where any of this was coming from. "If the law ends, you can stay. We can be… We can be what we've been for the past five years."

Haymitch wondered if this was what love was supposed to feel like; to be afraid of being emotionally and physically present for his wife only to worry that he would fail her and yet, not wanting to lose her at the same time.

Frown lines began appearing on his face when he realized that this was how he felt for his children. There was nothing he would not do for them. He was afraid of being a terrible father. He would try again and again for his sons if he disappointed them. He would kill anyone who would try to harm them. He knew that he loved his children and if that was how he felt for Tristan and Ethan, and if this was the same surge of protectiveness and fear he had for Effie then that would mean…

"I love you," he whispered that understanding into her ear when it finally dawned on him.

His warm breath blew against her hair. The words sounded foreign on his tongue, like it didn't belong. In retrospect, it was probably good that she was asleep and had not heard that clumsy confession. It was him admitting his feelings to himself and allowing himself to accept the truth that had eluded him. He was so blind.

He didn't know how or when it happened but he was beginning to see it now. Their life flashed before his eyes; them on their wedding day, him running after her at the wee hours in the morning to the Capitol because  _she_  was craving for strawberries, taking a train to Four without any hesitation because he thought Effie was in danger, staying in Four for days because she  _asked_ , that unrestrained emotion he was beginning to think was jealousy when he thought of her starting a life with Adler.

He remembered abandoning the meeting with the Council because she was in labour and he remembered bringing home the twins for the first time – the smile on her face and the sparkle in her eyes was something he would never forget. He remembered late nights with Effie as she nursed the babies only to fall asleep with his head on her shoulder even when he said he would stay awake with her. He could never forget feeling so helpless and useless during her episodes nor could he forget his willingness to do  _anything_  if it would mean she would get better. He could go on but he understood. It had taken him so long and he had put her through so much but he finally understood it all.

"I love you, sweetheart," he repeated, needing to hear the words spoken out loud.

Haymitch remained lying on her with his cheek pressed against her back, emotionally spent and it was in that moment that he decided that whatever the outcome of the law may be, nothing would change for them.

They were a family and they would remain so.

With that in mind, Haymitch finally fell asleep.

XxX

The town in District Twelve was awake and in general chaos. There were people in all sorts of emotional states; some were celebrating, some numb and at a loss for words while others seemed unsure of what to make of the morning news.

At the other side of District Twelve, the Abernathy's house was quiet that morning, untouched by the latest update that had just hit Panem.

Their twin boys were still sleeping from the late night they had and Effie was only just starting to rouse from her slumber. Haymitch was still sleeping, sprawled on the bed with Effie's head on his chest.

Had he left the phone plugged in before he retired to bed the night before, he would have been woken up by the sound of the phone ringing incessantly. However, as it were, the phone was unplugged because he did not want their morning to be disturbed by pesky reporters. In his frustration, Plutarch had called Peeta after he tried for the fifth time and still could not get through Haymitch's phone which sent Peeta over, knocking on his door. The young man gave up eventually when his knocks went unanswered.

"Haymitch," Effie shook his shoulder, "wake up. I thought I heard someone knocking."

"Yeah, heard it, too. They'll go away. Go back to sleep," he mumbled, tightening his hold on her.

"It's past eleven in the morning," Effie tried to reason and just as the words left her mouth, the boys, probably woken up by Peeta's knocking, barreled into the room and jumped gleefully on their bed.

Effie hastily pulled the sheet up to her chin.

Haymitch growled and reached out for Ethan to pin the boy to the bed. He laughed happily, thinking that his father was playing a new game with him.

"Mama, I'm hungry," Tristan said. "Pancakes?"

"It's too late for pancakes," Effie yawned. "And your father's not letting me out of bed," she gestured at Haymitch's hand slung across her mid-section.

Tristan frowned, pushing Haymitch's hand away from his mother. "Pancakes, da?"

Haymitch cracked an eye open to see his son's face hovering inches in front of him. "Pancakes it is," he nodded. His eyes searched for Effie's and he shrugged. "It  _is_  Sunday."

"You're spoiling him. I've never agreed to pancakes  _every_  Sunday," she complained under her breath. "You'll get them change and ready, yes?"

"A'right, you heard your mother. Go to your room and wait for me," he ordered his children. "We're gettin' pancakes."

The boys scrambled out of their parents' bed, running as fast as their little feet could carry them back to their bedroom. Effie stretched, lithe as a cat but before she could climb out of bed, Haymitch's hand was back on her, pulling her to him. He pressed a kiss to her neck and eased her down until she was lying flat on her back. His lips found hers and he kissed her until she was out of breath.

"You were right, you know," he said.

"What was I right about?" she brows crinkled in confusion as she tried to catch her breath.

Effie was trying to understand what had gotten over Haymitch that morning only to dismiss his behavior as having to do with the Referendum. If the results of yesterday were anything to go by, Haymitch already had five districts in his favour which meant that the Referendum would probably turn out well for him. She wanted to remind him of it. They should get out of bed and find out what had happened while they were asleep but the intention remained unspoken because Haymitch smiled at her then, kissing her breast through the thin white sheet she was covering herself with.

He tugged on it to reveal her naked breasts. "You should sleep naked all the time," his eyes lighted up with appreciation at the sight and took a nipple in his mouth.

Effie moaned. Her hands flew up to tangle itself in his hair.

"Haymitch…" she breathed out. He was trailing wet kisses down her stomach. "No, no," she pulled on his hair before he could go down any further and distract her completely. "We can't do this! Not now."

Haymitch pinned her hands above her head and she giggled. The spark in his eyes almost made her want to let him have his way with her especially when he leaned in close to whisper in her ear - "I want you" – but she knew they couldn't. She was responsible for pancakes that morning.

"The children," she gasped, turning her face away from him before he pulled her into one of those kisses that could go on forever. "They're waiting for you and…" she groaned when he touched her between her legs. "Pancakes. Haymitch… I need to make pancakes."

Haymitch released his hold on her wrists and Effie was quick to scramble into a sitting position. He was a sight with his grey eyes that had darkened with lust and his hair a mess from where she had tousled it earlier.

She gave him a quick peck on his lips. "I'm sorry."

"Never thought pancakes will be more important than me," he frowned in jest.

Effie laughed and pulled her nightgown over her body. Haymitch lamented the loss of her naked self. He fell back on the bed.

"You have to get them ready!"

"Effie," he called, sitting up to look at her. She stopped at the door. "I was being completely serious. I want you."

"I know, and of course, you do. I'm irresistible," she winked, cracking a smile at him.

"No… I meant that you don't have to ... You can stay and…" he pursed his lips, annoyed at himself for not being able to get the words out.

He was growing frustrated that Effie had completely misunderstood what he meant. He wanted her more than just for the sex she gave him during their marriage.

He had said it yesterday. He had told her. Haymitch rubbed his face.

"You've set out the kids' clothes?" he asked instead.

XxX

Getting the boys ready for the day was actually a more difficult chore than making the effort to keep the house clean. Ethan was constantly on his feet moving from one place to the other and getting him to put on his pants took a lot of coaxing and bribing. He never knew how Effie did it but he bribed his son with extra time with the geese or a bar of chocolate. Tristan, on the other hand, had recently developed an obsessive habit of making his own bed after Effie showed him the ways. He was adamant that nobody helped him. He had always wanted to accomplish things on his own - a trait Haymitch had noticed since he was two.

"The pillows' arranged just fine," Haymitch grumbled as he stood there trying to resist the urge to make his son's bed himself in order to speed things up. "Come on, peanut, I don't have all day."

"No!" Tristan frowned, righting the pillow against the headboard for the third time.

Ethan had long abandoned his brother after Haymitch gave him permission to leave the room. He thumped down the stairs loudly and ran out of the front door. It was ten minutes later that Haymitch finally left the twins' room with Tristan holding tight to his hand.

"Go on," he directed his son to the kitchen. "I'll get your brother."

Haymitch walked out to the front porch and down the steps, his eyes scanning the premises for his youngest son. He saw Peeta peering out of the window looking at someone with an amused smiled on his lip and that was when he saw Ethan near the fences in front of the Mellark's house, his fingers digging into the dirt.

He growled in annoyance. "Ethan!"

The boy was used to his parents shouting after him that he merely turned his head slightly over his shoulder. His eyes locked with his father's irritated gaze.

"Come here right now. You'll get yourself dirty again. I ain't going through the whole process of gettin' you cleaned up. And I sure ain't having your mother nag at me."

He ran towards Haymitch, clutching on to his prize and was promptly thrown over Haymitch's shoulder as he carried the child back to the house.

"I play with geese now! You promise," he demanded. "I'm not hungry."

"Hungry or not, you're having those pancakes. You don't know what I had to sacrifice for those pancakes," Haymitch grumbled, tightening his hold on the boy. "Stop fidgeting."

"Haymitch," Peeta called out. His face was grim. "Plutarch's been trying to call. You should look at the papers."

Haymitch froze mid-stride. There was a stabbing pain in his chest as he considered what the look on Peeta's face could possibly mean.  _The law remains,_  the thought swam into his mind,  _all of that work for nothing_. He nodded at Peeta but said little else.

"Do me a favour, will you? Get me the morning paper, tiger."

Ethan hopped on to his bright blue battery operated toy car that Felix had bought and drove over to the mail box which made Haymitch sighed impatiently. When they entered the kitchen, Haymitch had the paper in his hand. He threw it over the counter not at all eager to read it now that he had the distinct feeling that nothing in Panem had changed.

"Oh, is that for me?" Effie asked, feigning surprise.

Ethan nodded enthusiastically and gave his mother a stalk of yellow flower he had plucked from outside the fences of Peeta's house earlier.

"Thank you, baby," she trilled, kissing Ethan's cheek. "Now go and join your brother. Bananas or blueberries, darlings?

Haymitch rolled his eyes. He had no idea where Ethan had picked up the habit of plucking flowers for his mother every morning and he would have no problem with it except Effie would sometimes teased him about how his son was more of a gentleman than he was.

"Berries!" Tristan answered without looking up from his new colouring book. "Please," he added quickly.

"Bananas," Ethan replied, climbing on to the seat next to his brother to see what he was doing. "I want that," he pointed at a crayon.

"No," Tristan frowned. "You'll make it ugly."

"I won't!"

Ethan plucked a black crayon and began colouring over his brother's work furiously. Tristan shrieked in anger and climbed down the chair, a huge pout on his face. Effie rubbed her temple, already anticipating an argument.

"Da! Make him stop!" Tristan demanded, standing in front of Haymitch. His eyes blazed with fury and Haymitch wanted to laugh at how someone so tiny could be  _that_  furious. He had seen this look on Effie before.

"He looks like you," Haymitch chuckled. "You both look alike when you're angry."

"It's all black," the boy's lips quivered, pointing at the colouring book.

"Listen," he lifted Tristan up to his lap. "It's the same like a blank white canvas, 'cept it's black. You can draw over it … with a different colour. Not everything that's black is bad, you gotta learn how to change the situation and make what you will out of it."

Haymitch lifted his eyes to see Effie smiling at him and he supposed he was giving the right advice. The corner of Tristan's eyes wrinkled. He looked up at Haymitch questioningly.

"Draw something else over the black," Haymitch explained, turning to Ethan he said, "and tiger? That wasn't very nice. You wait until your brother said it's okay before you colour over his stuff."

Ethan tilted his head, looking abashed. "Do you wanna colour with me?" the little boy asked, holding out a baby blue crayon for Tristan in a silent apology.

Almost immediately, the ice in Tristan's eyes thawed. He nodded and slid down from Haymitch's lap to sit next to his brother, their blonde heads bend down in concentration.

Haymitch leaned back in his chair.

"Crisis averted," he said.

"Well done," Effie patted his shoulder as she served out the pancakes to the children. "Have you heard anything about the referendum? We should probably turn on the television. There'll be news of it I'm sure."

"Oh," Haymitch licked his fingers cleaned off the maple syrup and snatched the paper he had discarded earlier from the counter. He handed it to Effie. "Peeta said to read the papers. He didn't look happy. You check the papers. I'll see if there's anythin' on TV."

With a glance towards the two children to make sure they were occupied, Haymitch scraped his chair back at the same time that Effie unfolded the morning paper. He heard her breath hitched as her eyes fell on the title printed in bold across the front page.

"Haymitch," she whispered, reaching out for him.

They crossed the room towards the other side of the kitchen away from the children.

"What's it say? What's the vote in Twelve?"

"You got Twelve. 80% majority vote for the second option but that's … that's not what…" she raised her head, staring at him. "You did it, Haymitch. Look."

Effie spread the newspaper on the counter and Haymitch peered over her shoulder to read. He felt the air leave his body.

"Dissolved," he breathed out. His head fell on her shoulder, and he started laughing in relief. "We got it. We won!"

His arms snaked around her waist and he pulled her against his chest. Effie had gone silent and rigid. It was clear that she did not share his enthusiasm.

"Read the paper, Haymitch."

**_MARRIAGE LAW DISSOLVED_ **

**_What will happen to the children now?_ **

_With a 65% vote in favour of the second option in District Six at two in the morning today, it was becoming evidently clear to most people in Panem that the Referendum was leaning towards the abolishment of the law. At six this morning, with the final votes in District Twelve tallied and accounted for, all the districts had made their choices plain. Therefore, the Council as decreed by the mandate of the people thereby announced the abolishment of the Marriage Law._

_Former prominent rebel leaders, Plutarch Heavensbee and Haymitch Abernathy who could not be reached after the vote count was concluded has been relentlessly opposing the law since it was enacted five years ago. The Referendum…_

Haymitch skipped the whole paragraph giving a brief background on his work on the appeals and the birth of the Referendum.

_There should be a grand cause for celebration if not for the swift announcement by the Council that left many in Panem confused and uncertain._

"Haymitch?" her hand found his and held in a death-crushing grip.

He did not like the way her voice caught in her throat. She must have read ahead to find something that shocked her. His fixed his attention on the remaining paragraphs of the article.

_In light of the people's clear choices, the Council is anticipating a wave of divorce applications. With the objective of reducing such applications in Court and to mitigate the overwhelming paper work, all marriages under the law has now been annulled and dissolved. Parties may appear before a Registrar to collect their Certificate of Dissolution of Marriage in three weeks' time._

_Parties who wished to have their marriage renewed are to appear before a Registrar to register and record their marriage with the Registry of Marriages at the City and to obtain a new marriage certificate. All current marriage certificates signed under the marriage law are void effective immediately._

_Parties are advised to reach an amicable resolution with regards to the custody of their children and to subsequently appear before the Courts for custody arrangements to be recorded. If an amicable resolution is not possible, parties are required to inform the Courts of the same within the next twenty-one (21) days, and a date for custody hearing will then be fixed._

Haymitch wanted to scream. He wanted to destroy things. Where there should be a sense of triumph, there was only a hole in which an adulterated anger was quickly taking its space. He glanced over at Effie. She was as pale as death; the same way she looked when he had walked into Plutarch's office five years ago.

He took a step back from her, leaning heavily on the kitchen counter. Haymitch grappled with the handle of the top cupboard where he extracted a half full bottle of whiskey from it. Effie watched him fumble with the cap before he drank straight from the bottle in large gulps. He had stopped drinking in front of the twins and the fact that he had reverted to it made her heart clenched.

"What does this mean?" Effie choked, wiping away the tears that had fallen down her cheeks. She was so afraid. "Haymitch… Haymitch, please, talk to me."

_What have I done?_

"Mama?" Tristan tugged on Effie's dress. "Why you cryin'?"

Effie dropped to her knees and pulled Tristan into a hug. She buried her face in her son's shoulder and sobbed. That sight nearly broke him.

"Effie," he called out for her.

"What does it mean, Haymitch?"

"You know what it means, sweetheart," Haymitch rasped. His voice was strained. It was difficult for him to talk without his voice betraying how he felt. "We're not married anymore."

Haymitch hated how that sounded.

She was his wife yesterday night. He was someone's husband. And just as the law had changed his life five years ago, it had ripped it again in a blink.

XxX

  
 _To be continued_ …

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The hardest part to write for this chapter was the first part that dealt with Haymitch's emotions. I wrote and rewrote it several times because vulnerable Haymitch is never easy to write. But I enjoyed picking those little, little moments in their life that stuck to him the most and made him realize the depth of his feelings for her.
> 
> That aside, I know the ending isn't a happy ending. I do apologise if the ending has disappointed some readers. But from the moment I started writing Consortium, I have always intended for it to end this way. Consortium started with the law, and I wanted to end it with the law. 
> 
> This story has a sequel titled Divortium which will address the effects the law left behind and how it ultimately affects Haymitch, Effie and the twin. See you there!


End file.
